Thursday, January 17, 2002

I love "Office Space"

Today's agenda: Up at 7:00. PBJ for breakfast. Drove kids to school at 8:15. Came home. IMed with my sister and others (my sister gave her official notice today. Hell Yeah! big changes for us girls in the workplace this week... ) Showered, and then had lunch with a few of the hangers-on back at the company (FL, you ROCK. I miss you so badly already...) E-mailed resumes. Emailed friends. Rented a movie. Watched the movie. Did dishes. Took out trash. Brought empties to the basement. Planned run to store to deposit empties and get some righteous dough. Doctor's Office (see below). Dinner. Beer. Journaling, and finally Laundry.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Office Space.

I've mentioned it here before, back in the Gayle episodes, that Office Space Lives are all around us. My office space at my company was nowhere NEAR what it was for Peter, Samir and Michael at Initech, but office culture can be an amazing thing.

And the movie Office Space (this site has all kinds of sound bytes)... sums up a lot of the Dilbertesque qualities of high-tech culture.

It is a fabulous comedy, and one that I think most people can totally relate to in full or in part. If you've yet to rent it, please do so.

My favorite part of the movie is when Peter takes Samir and Michael, who have just been laid off, out to a field with the office printer/fax/copier/scanner that was always malfunctioning, and they do a gangsta gangsta style hit on the hapless machine. Peter's gift to them as friends and co-workers... It is one of the funniest segments of film I've seen in my life.

My office experiences have never been as bad as Peter's were. My bosses have NEVER been cheesy Bill Lumbergh types who come to my "cube" or "pod" at 4:55 and say, 'Uh, yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Saturday. We're behind now that we've lost some people... and go ahead and come in on Sunday too..." Jerk. It is a great movie.

One of the greatest little bits of the film is Stephen Root and his portrayal of constantly dumped on weird guy Milton Waddams.

Milton has been moved four times in the last year, never gets a slice of birthday cake when they do office party stuff because he's always told by the stupid fat chick to "pass on the pieces, don't be greedy!" and when they change from Swingline staplers to an inferior stapler, he just can't take it and keeps his stapler... much to Lumbergh's chagrin.

He keeps threatening to burn the building down. And eventually somethings just come together so that is exactly what happens. Luckily, no one is hurt. I love this picture of Milton because he is holding the Swingline Stapler to his chest. Right before Lumbjerk comes to tell him his office is to be moved down to the darkest part of the basement.

But it is a riot of a movie. A plan, a simple plan, that goes awry. A man who realizes every day of his life is worse than the day right before, which means tomorrow is just going to be worse than today, and that's what he has to look forward to. A neighbor who can hear ya right through the wall (great job by Dietrich Bader of the "Drew Carey Show" as the neighbor). A guy named Michael Bolton who hates Michael Bolton's music, and equally hates when people ask if they are related or what his favorite Michael Bolton song is (Thank God my name isn't Celine Dion!).

It is a genius movie. Mike Judge needs to make another movie. Please. Please. And you need to see it. If you are at all sick and twisted, you'll enjoy.

Oh, and Jennifer Anniston's in it too. She plays Peter's love interest, a waitress trapped in service positions much like office positions where her boss is just as bad as Peter's. Great role. She's great as Joanna.

So I rented it. I watched it twice this afternoon. Once in full and then once fast forwarding to my favorite parts. I then got a call from Geoff's school saying that he was bleeding from the ear (WHAAAAT?!) and that they were worried he'd ruptured his ear drum. Jesus Christmas on a Sunday, I panicked. Nothing like losing your hearing. He's on an antibiotic from the fever and a little bit of strep throat he's had, so I wasn't exactly concerned with infection setting in immediately, but crap. That's your ear. He's already half blind. Let's ruin his life a little more by having him be deaf too!

I left Jessie a note and hauled ass over there. They'd cleaned him up and there was no more blood coming out, but I thought he'd better get to the doctor. He was running around playing hand puppets with his buddy Nick, like nothing was the matter. He was in great spirits and said that there was nothing wrong. But blood. Man. I called from the school and they said to bring him in... They evaluated him, looked in the ear -- there was nothing wrong and no sign of blood.

Uh, okay.

I drove a half hour over here for THAT!? yikes. Good thing though. Much better to be safe than sorry, eh? So it is currently a mystery as to where he got the blood from. If it wasn't coming out of his ear, and no other kids were bleeding INTO his ear... what the hell happened with that.


Okay. On another note it has come to my attention that yesterday's journal entry was sent around my office and now everyone has access to the journal and is reading it.

That's good and bad.

See, it's good because I think that I'm a friggin funnyassed person with fun crap to say and I like sharing my stories. But, it's bad because like with my family (which I love dearly) my office friends/coworkers are sacred to me. And in places here I've probably offended people, which ain't good.

Everyone knows who the CEO is and for me to say yesterday that I don't give a rat's pitoot about him because he never cared for me, well, that's kind of extreme ain't it? But, it is how I feel or in some cases, felt at the time articles were written.

If for instance you are one of the people I used to work with who are now stumbling across this journal, first of all welcome -- my life is an official open book I guess. Second, if you feel you're represented poorly here in any of these pages, be advised that they are just my take on things, that I don't matter... I don't sway public opinion, I am a bitch and judgemental and an ass with a big mouth and fast fingers.

And, for those of you who feel I slighted you at the Christmas party when you were hunting man flesh and ragging on the planet, be totally advised that I played right along and enjoyed myself beyond wholeheartedly by attempting to bring a different angle into things.

And if at any point I was offended, I would have walked away in disgust, judgemental bitch that I am. But I was right there with ya girls, checkin' out the hotties, voting along, and we picked FL (who still is the nicest, superest, sweetest, awesomest guy in the company bar none). So take that into consideration -- I was with you girls. Sistahs, pickin on the menfolk. And having a good laugh. And after all -- ain't that what it's all about?

So un-HR.

And if you really feel I've painted you with a broad brush of disgust, my apologies. I'll print a detailed apology or try to defend myself for what I was thinking at the time. Thing is, it's past. More often than not I vented, I'm done. I'm past and over it. And you should be too.

After all, you can start a journal and let the world know I'm a fat, lazy, loudmouth who dresses poorly. And I'd say 'right on. ain't it the truth.'

I didn't start this to offend, but to grow. And if offending causes me to shut up, re-evaluate, rethink... that's good. And if you'll still like me and read it, why, that's better yet.

So to my girls and boys back in the big brick house... I will be seeing you, and rest assured, I'll meet more office people. Perhaps my Bill Lumbergh style boss is waiting for me at my next job (choke, gasp) and that will be my comeuppance for dissing anyone in the past at the company.

And if you wanna have lunch, email me any time. I'm here.

No comments:

Post a Comment