Thursday, June 20, 2002

The Puppy Hunt

I met with the college professor I'm working with this summer for about 90 minutes today, and then I met Doug and the kids at an animal shelter in Salem, MA, so we could look at dogs.

Yes. I'm thinking it's time to get another dog to be part of our family.

I'm looking for a female, mixed breed as long as she isn't a rottie/dobie/pit bull mix, and under a year. I'm looking for something that won't be say over 70-80lbs full grown.

There are a lot of dogs out there, few in our actual scope or desired specs. We went to two shelters. We met one or two dogs that might fit. One was a husky/lab mix, husky coloring but lab eyes. Which was weird. Brown eyes on a husky is just so weird.

We didn't pick out a dog, but filled out two applications and asked to be called if someone came in who fit our desired profile. It's like a personal ad. It's like ... applying for colleges. What fits. What works.

They had a gorgeous full bred rottie female, age 11 months. She sat in the kennel and just looked at us with soft eyes, didn't wag her stubbie. Didn't get her hopes up. Her sign said her name is Zoe. She hates umbrellas, and wouldn't be good with kids under 12 or other dogs.

Not that she'd come home with us, but she was lovely to look at.

For anyone who hates rotties, I have no idea how you could. Just their eyes can melt a heart, and their tiny stubbies wagging when they see you coming. Sigh.

Geoff saw Zoe and gasped, and said 'It's Missy. I've been looking for her. Here's where you've been.'

I almost burst into tears, but Doug explained how it wasn't Missy and Geoff seemed to understand.

So we now have four applications out there with shelters. One shelter had this God Awful Application, it went on for four pages. Wanted to know EVERYthing about us. What food we plan on giving the dog. What our street is like. What our kids do. What we do all day. They require a home visit.

The application was harder than any application I've viewed for anything in recent years. They are begging on their website for people to come adopt a dog, but the application process is just shy of requiring a blood sample, pound of flesh and swearing on a stack of bibles that you'll feed poochie Science Diet all the days of her life.

Criminy. I would think adopting a baby might not be this damn hard!

They also suck at getting back to people.

We called and their answering machine said that on no uncertain circumstances do they do work by phone, that we are to fax or email things to them. We emailed a request for the application, got it 3 days later. We sent it back on... Sunday? Monday?

They are begging for people to adopt dogs. Can't they call us? Say "Hey, thanks! Got your application. Let's talk!" No. We haven't heard a word.

And there's the website, freshly updated weekly with all new dogs. Begging people to adopt them. Begging anyone to take them home to a "forever family."

Call me! I'm willing. Seek ye no further. Here I am!

There is a trio of three females from the same litter, collie/retriever mixes. They are lovely. They are 19 weeks old. Hello? Earth to shelter manager? Earth to someone... We'll definitely come see them, you can come "home visit" our house. We're here. Helloooooooo???? Buehler? Anyone?


Why do I want a second dog. I mean honestly. Why? The professor I'm working with asked me that today.

I have no idea. I love to see dogs swim and play together. I like to know that Kinger isn't here in the house crying cause he's lonely. He is so good when he's with Gonzo, but Gonzo lives in Maine. I miss my Missy, but no one will be able to take her place, ever. I don't know what other reasons...

We've been playing a lot of Sega lately and I am admitting here and now that I have an addictive personality. Sonic the hedgehog is ruling my life. I cannot get out of the third world in the second stage, Marble World or what ever it is. I'm doomed.

Mom, when you come up in July. Feel free to bring the hand me down playstation. We may as well give in... we're part of the video game cult. The kids, I can limit their play. Me... I'm going to need a 12 step program.

Today I took Jessie to Kohls to go shopping. It was our first time there. I normally don't buy clothes for the kids anywhere other than Walmart or on consignment, but Jessie is grownup sized with grownup tastes, and Walmart and Target have shit clothing for women.

No lie. I hate 90% of what they have there.

Target thinks that girls should all be dressed like Britney or any other blonde du jour. Walmart thinks that Kathie Lee knows fat lady fashion. I personally like to shop at Lands End or LL Bean... because the clothing style is conservative.

Girls' shorts shouldn't all be the same length even if the waist size is larger. Seriously. Have you looked at popular trendy girl shorts lately? Go to the store right now and take a look at the rack.

Size 2 shorts and size 14 Britney style shorts ARE THE SAME LENGTH down the thigh for most of what they sell nowadays. Three inch long shorts on a girl who is about 150 lbs are NOT as attractive as that on a girl who is 90lbs. Sorry. Someone get a ruler, add a couple inches lengthwise as the shorts grow widthwise.

Plus, She is 10. Not 16. I don't want her ass cheeks hanging out the bottom of a pair of daisy dukes at age 10. Regardless of her weight.

So, they had a section of girl clothes like that, with these retarded motherfucking Tshirts that said things like "Dump Him," "I'm Stealing Your Boyfriend," "Your Boyfriend Loves Me In This T-shirt" crap on them... and a whole section of Columbia sportswear, Champion Sportswear, Lee Jeans Shorts, Sonoma Jeans, and other "normal" non-TRL style clothes.

Who wears "Your Boyfriend Loves Me In This T-shirt" Shirts anyway? Who is the bitch who puts that shit on. Slap her ass. And if I was the mom.... Holy Flerkin' Schnit! I'd freak the fuck out if my daughter wore a shirt like that!

Anyway, the great thing about this store is they had the bullshit trampy clothes section, and the normal human being clothes section, complete with Levis, Lee, Sonoma, Nike and Columbia Sportswear clothes. Whew!

I had no problem finding 10 pairs of shorts for her, from nice denims to Nike athletic running shorts which will be great when we're camping and sweating and running around. I can throw them with her in them in a lake and they'll come out nice.

And let me just say that I'm relieved to find someplace that sells decent clothing that isn't in the Mall, where life is insane, and I can be happy dressing my kids in the clothes I find there.

I bought myself 2 Hawaiian shirts by the way. Stylie!

On to shoes... She wanted sandals. She wanted flip flops.

I told her no friggin way. Remembering my sister trying to jump over a fence in a pair of flip flops at one of my cousin Debbie's softball games, catching her super long monkey-toe in the chain, and falling on her face.

That'd be Jessica. 25 years later... doing just that this summer.

Monkey toes. That's not good for flip flops. She'd be dead. She wears a size 8 shoe. HA! No. Sorry.

So I bought her a really ass kicking pair of Columbia Sandals, for hiking, swimming, wading, fishing, living. They are gorgeous. I bought me a pair of Ocean Pacific Sandals, I wanted them for Jessie but they didn't have her size in stock. I bought Geoff a pair of really nice Nike sandals. They rock, and he loves them.

I got both of us Sponge Bob Tshirts. Yes. I now have a Sponge Bob Tshirt. I am too damn retarded.

All told, we didn't get a dog, we have elbow cramps from playing Sonic, and our feet are stylie. I'm a happy girl today. Alright. I hear Sonic and a beer calling my name. Marble World Ho!!!

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