Wednesday, October 09, 2002

New Sink, job interview

The plumber is here. He's doing his plumbery thing. Geoff is all over him. Fascinated. It is all I can do to keep him from talking the guy's ear off about tools, where our sink is going, and Spiderman.


I am glad we'll soon have a new sink. And I'm glad I had a professional come in to do it. When he removed the cold water pipe, it busted in half. The drain pipe crumbled in his hands.

The guys I work with at cateringman's were all "Go to home depot, buy a factory second sink for 40 bucks, install it yourself. How hard can that be?"

Um, yeah. Plumbing and the residents of this house do not mix, friends.

There are two home improvement items we don't muck around with. Plumbing and electrical stuff. No way. Electrical stuff scares the bejezus out of me. Plumbing is easy enough to screw up and have an instant catastrophe on your hands to deal with.

I must say here though that I am very proud that my husband made do and did the work he did for as long as he did to prevent us from calling a plumber in immediately. He tried very hard. Did a great job.

Well. Today is not just groovy new sink day, it is interview day! As Spongebob Squarepants says: "I'm READY!!!!"

I'll be using the groovy new sink to brush my teeth and apply makeup over, and then I'll be off to sit in front of oh... 9 people or so, and make my case for why I'd be an asset to this institution of higher education.

I feel like puking already.

I don't know why I'm nervous. I normally never GET nervous before an interview. I interview very well for the most part. I remember to amazing detail the interviews I had for my last company and for the last college I worked at... even what everyone was wearing.

Let's see if I blank on this one or puke on the conference table. I'm sure it's been done before in history.

There really isn't much of interest to report in my life right now. I did get thank you notes from the girls (even my own daughter) that I chaperoned. Which made me smile. K. wrote me that it was the best field trip she's ever been on because she learned so much and I was so smart. Hey. Truer words never spoken, eh? cough gag.

Oh, and speaking of Spongebob... what the hell is the deal with people running around saying he's gay.

All of the Boston Talk Stations yesterday were on this story, and it was way over the top.

The news reports I heard initially said the show is popular with gay men. Which is fine. So are the Powerpuff Girls.

And surprise surprise people. Both are popular with people with senses of HUMOR. Gay or straight. Duh!

The discussion warped to "Spongebob is Gay."

How does one wander to that conclusion automatically. Really. Does it MATTER if gay people LIKE the show a lot and think it's funny? And does that automatically make the character and storylines "gay?"

Millions of people gay and straight are SBSP fans. Myself and my husband and my kids totally included.

If you need to categorize him, I actually think Spongebob is more like an evangelical than a "gay" person. Look at his personality:

  • He is kind
  • He is lighthearted
  • He is very very genuinely happy in a life-loving way
  • He is enthusiastic about everything in life... his work, his friends, jellyfishing, karate...
  • He is annoying to those who don't understand him (ie Squidward)

I think that someone somewhere along the lines read too much into an episode that aired recently. SB's "sexual" role sort of comes into play when he and his buddy Patrick find a lost sea scallop who needed a home.

They "adopt" the scallop. SB assumes the "mother" role, cleaning, caring for the baby, wearing himself out to maintain the household. Patrick shuffles off each morning to "work" in a tie and a hat, with briefcase in hand, and returns home dog-shit tired and ready for a beer.

By the way -- Patrick's "job" was sitting in over his own apartment watching TV. He came home exhausted on a nightly basis, because it's hard watching TV all day. Sometimes the remote control falls on the floor and you have to find it. And all the clicking around the dials... wears a guy out, ya know.

So they weren't necessarily being "gay" in the sexual sense. I believe the writers were more or less just illustrating how parenting works, and they were dangerously close to ending up like Paula Cole's "Where Have all the Cowboys Gone" song.

I suppose the creators would have been better suited to pair up SB with Sandy Squirrel, but SB and Patrick are such good friends, and their relationship is funnier than that of Sandy and SB.

I didn't read "sex" into the relationship for that episode personally. Did you?

When "The Lion King" came out, no pun intended, everyone was insistant that Scar (voiced deliciously by Jeremy Irons) was homosexual. He was "single" and had a British accent and was evil, but charming all at the same time.

I mean, when I was watching the movie, I didn't think immediately about the stupid lion's sexuality. Same with Timon and Pumbaa. Everyone says THEY are gay. First of all -- they aren't even the same species. I can see how Chip and Dale, the chipmunks of Looney Tunes fame could possibly be "gayish," again with the whole English accent and proper grammar thing. All gays are SO proper (snarf) aren't they?

"Oh, do let's invade the duck's cellar and get all the acorns!"
"Indeed, dear sir! Invade is such a rogue term! Let us stealthily procure said acorns under darkness of night. After tea."
"Very well then, after you."
"No, I insist -- after you..."

I read a great book that looks into the creation process of comics and the possibility of underlying homosexuality. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon. It was a fabulous story -- about two cousins, one is gay but quite closeted. Together they build a comic empire, and the gay cousin ends up getting dragged into testify in court against his will that all the comics are gay propaganda stories. Pairing men and young boys into exciting relationships. The wearing of tights. The riding one seater motorcycles together...

It's a horrible situation for him. He created wonderful stories that had nothing to DO with HIS sexuality... but others interpreted his personal life as being broadcasted through the characters to children across the country. His empire crumbles. It is... sad.

I highly recommend the novel if you're looking for something to read by the fireside this fall.

Anyway -- Spongebob isn't gay. But if he was... I'd be alright with that. He's a nice guy. I think Squidward is gay. But that's a whole nother analysis for another day. Guffaw.

I'm going to go hang out in the living room now. I'm sure I'll post later or tomorrow about my interview. Just remember. Good vibes/mojo/prayers my way for 3:15 p.m. And hope I don't barf on things.

And, I'm going to use my new sink. More later...

ain't she purdy?

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