Monday, October 20, 2003

Gonna Miss My Boss

The obviousness of the date never clicked in my head.

Tomorrow would have been Clayton's 36th birthday. In my giddiness to go see and preoccupation with BNL, I completely braincramped on remembering to mark the date in my heart.

I think it's a good thing that I have something so powerfully fun to distract me from being maudlin and sad all damn day tomorrow. So, here's a pint lifted high for Clay. I'm going to rock out and rock steady to ole BNL and think "Gee, he'd so love this" and enjoy the hell out of the night. I'll be with my daughter, who almost likes them as much as I do, and it will be an event of funness.


It also reminds me that I have to mail that thing in to get a title for his car, which is still in our driveway and NEEDS to be gone by the time snow falls. Today's early frost and suddenly recalling he's been gone for 18 months hit me full force as I sat down to write this.

I am the queen of procrastination. I know.

I am feeling much better today than I did on say, Saturday. I had that bout with vertigo again, and today it seems to be nonexistent. I'm drinking extra water, and I think I may have actually slept 38 of the 48 hours of the weekend. No lie. I haven't slept that much since ... well, the last time I was truly sick.

Sleep is an amazing thing. Don't get enough and you're worn out and twitchy. Get too much and you're worn out and twitchy.

At about 3am I found myself unable to stay in the bed any longer with Doug snoring. I went and shaved my legs because they were driving me insane. I curled up on the couch with Jack dog, he eventually got up and got in his kennel and I think I fell back asleep at around 5am. Not sure. I was twitchy and cranky and just generally miserable for those two hours that I was awake.

I sleep o.d.'ed I guess.

I hope I'll be able to sleep all right tonight.

T-minus four days until my boss is gone. A is steadily flipping out. I told her that I don't intend on taking anything she says or does personally, and she thanked me for that.

We've got open enrollment, and the documentation to the field should have rolled out three weeks ago seeing as OE changes go into effect on Nov. 1st.

But we'll be lucky if it goes out this week. And the next two weeks in our office are going to suck. I'm not going to get things done in time, I am going to have to go back to work when Doug gets home at night, and I know A will still be there.

Part of the problem is the higher-ups are feet-draggin' the way higher-ups do, and S is leaving which puts a lot of pressure on her... so poor A is losing weight and turning grey as each hour passes, and there is little or nothing I can do to help. I have to leave at a certain time. I come in at a certain time. I can hopefully come in more when Doug gets home early, but I can't guarantee he'll be able to come home by say 5pm on any given day.

No ounce of time that I have going forward can possibly be spent in goof-off mode. It's all seriousnessnessness from hereonin. I'm all bidness hithertoforth.

I'm going to miss S.

A is fabulous, and this is a huge step for her, I just hope she can convince the higher-ups to fill HER position with someone full time from the outside world who is a true HR Generalist who knows all the laws and rules and such. I don't want the job, nor am I qualified for it. I have no desire to do the job. I want someone as qualified and smart and talented as A to come in and take it. And we'll all live happily ever after.

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