Thursday, July 29, 2004

Ben Affleck gum

Each morning when I wake up, there is a webpage sitting up on the computer for me to read. Doug surfs the web before bed and always saves something funny for me.

This morning, he left this wepage which is a parody of this webpage. I highly encourage you to visit and then parouse the entire site and enjoy. Nothing better in this world than making funny.

I'm not going to talk too much about the convention except for this:

Ben Affleck needs to stop chewing gum like a cow.

The first few days of the convention he was all over the news and TV live shots, and there was this tremendous wad of chewing gum in his mouth. He's at the Red Sox game - chomp chomp chomp, move to other side of his big horse teeth mouth, chomp chomp chomp. He's at some sort of anti-Bush "Rock the Vote" discussion group talking about how people against gay marriage are sitting there yelling "I don't wanna marry a gay!" and chomp chomp chew, roll, move to other side, chomp, chomp.

The only time he wasn't maowing on a humongous lump of chewable sugar was when he was on the O'Reilly Factor. And thank GOD because the camera was so tight in and up his nose that we would have been able to see the spit bubbles in the ever present Bubblicious.

So someone, please. Tell the boy to chew less like cow, more like gentleman. I used to think Ben Affleck was good looking. But those choppers and that gooey gob made me swoon. Not from adoration but nausea.

Stop bovinely chewing gum in public! Ewwwww. It'll never garner you a new girlfriend, which might be a joke because it is rumored Jennifer Garner is the new squeeze. Perhaps he'll only date Jens from now on to continue the ever so clever Bennifer moniker.

Hopefully with less gum in his mouth.

Every summer, my former boss (from my last major company) rents a summer house for a couple of weeks on the ocean in New Hampshire. Normally I don't have the day-time time to come and hang with her for her vacation, although she ALWAYS invites me.

This year is obviously different.

I did 2 hours worth of design work on Tuesday morning, and at 11am packed the kids into the truck to head up the coast to Seabrook, where D. and her friends and some Chocolate Espresso Martinis were waiting for me.

We had a friggin' blast and a half. D. had a friend there with a 13 year old girl, 10 and 11 year old boys, and my two kids blended in for the most part (Jessica did for certain, Geoff spent more time annoying them than anything...)

Geoff is a monster wave surfer, he was the only one in the water for a long time. In fact, it was pissing off the fishermen. Yeah, bite me ass. Share the waterfront.

The tide was coming in, and Geoff wanted to body surf but kept running face first into the waves. I had to get in and show him how to do it. Again, we're the only people in the ocean. It's FREEZING, but after a little while I didn't notice it anymore and it was damn fun.

We stayed for dinner and headed home -- tired and exhausted. My legs and shoulders still hurt from all that fun. Perhaps we'll do it again tomorrow.

Yesterday I spent a few hours at C & M's restoration shop working on their computer but it is ... not doing what I want it to do. I won't say it's hopeless. But it isn't working right. I left my virus software with her, and I'm afraid I left my blueberries too. I'm rather forgetful.

Today we don't have a car. The "Check Engine" light came on in Doug's new VW, so he called and they said to bring it in. I want it done by tonight so I can go pick it up and go to the beach! I don't want to have to have it be ready tomorrow and then be stuck here a second day with the kids. Must take to beach so they can run rampant. It HAS to be fixed by Monday or there will be hell to pay. I'm teaching, kids are in camp. Not happy about the car thing.

Not much else to tell. I'm rather boring today except for my obsession with Ben Affleck's Gum Chewing Skills (or lack thereof). I wish I had something more substantial to offer. Perhaps next visit. Meh.

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