"My hands are locked up tight in fists,
My mind is racing, filled with lists
of things to do and things I've done..."
- Barenaked Ladies
I have so much to do, and am kind of paralyzed by the list of lists that I have sitting before me. All the things that need to be done, that I just don't WANT to do. I don't think I have adult ADD, I think I am lazy and would rather avoid things than do them, and entertain myself with the things that make me happier.
I'm bad like that.
Anyway, before I dig in to the lists and sublists, I will do this entry, drink some more coffee, maybe play some guitar hero III and then get to it.
So you're wondering what I need to do. Here is the list:
Clean Geoff's Room. We do this frequently, but today it has to be done because my son's den mother gave Geoff a hand-me-down captain's bunk twin bed to replace the full-sized bed he has. His room is too small for a full sized bed. The captain's bunk will provide drawers and storage, and I can move the bureau he has INTO his room instead of it living in the hallway. Because den mother and husband are people of action, doers, completers of tasks, they told me about the bed the other day and delivered it this morning. It currently sits in my kitchen, where no one can move about without crashing into it. So... I must do the task. Get'er Done. Or is it Git'R Done. I don't know.
Laundry. Laundry paralyzes me, I hate doing it. I hate schlepping baskets up and down stairs. I make the children do it and they push back. 90% of the laundry does not even belong to me, so I resent having to do it at all.
Remove the Christmas Tree. The ornaments and lights have been off of the tree for a week or so, but for some reason it still stands, naked and sad, in the corner of my living room. It smells really good, which is why I think I haven't gotten to pulling it out of its stand and pitching it (or stripping it for kindling for the woodstove). If it smelled like a mouse rotting in a trap, or a container of rotting ground beef sitting in the corner, I might be more swift in removal. But for the most part, it stands there and mocks me and makes me feel lazy and stupid.
Move all the Christmas ornaments (etc) up to the attic. Feh. I don't like schlepping stuff up stairs. So the boxes are sitting in the livingroom next to the naked tree.
Finish cateringman's business cards. That's a given. Must be done today. Also must do some minor updates to his website, and load in new photos to the gallery. About an hour's worth of work. But something that keeps me sitting here where my mind will wander and I'll end up wanting to play Scrabulous on Facebook while I can (before Hasbro forces them to take the application down).
Finish project for cateringman's brother. I still haven't done this PHP thing that he asked me to do. It was a simple "can you cut and paste this code" thing that has turned into something that is far far more complicated than expected, and I don't know if I can do it, or if it will even work... but it has to be done. If anyone wants to do it for me, I'll take you up on the offer and take you out to dinner (if you're local) or buy you a gift card to a restaurant near your house.
Clean my room. Good lord, I haven't cleaned it since before our GES came to visit, and it is a disaster. I hate it. I don't want to do it. But it must be done.
Pay all our bills. Feh. Everyone hates that, right?
Go pick up Geoff's flute at the repair shop, and buy him new strings for his guitar. Which means I have to go to Haverhill, and I don't want to. It also means that I'll have to go to the supermarket and do the shopping for the week, because I'll be in that area. And I just don't want to go anywhere or do anything.
Clean where the exercise bike is. I have been intending to set up a DVD player and TV where the exercise bike is, to entice people to come and sit and ride (entice meaning me... I hate just sitting there and staring into space but if I watch a 1/2 hour DVD of something it would help kill the boredom of riding the bike). This would entail a major project, turning the bike around, dusting, cleaning, rearranging ... and it is something that I just don't WANT to do.
What is wrong with me? Other people I know have motivation to do things, to clean their homes, to organize things. I do things half way and then get sick to death of the project at hand and then find something else to do. I'm always happy when things are done and they look good and things are organized and laundry is put away and life is tidy, but I hate the GETTING THERE part. Good lord. Is it just the winter? Is it just that I've hit that January/February inner death and my brain just doesn't work anymore?
There are many other projects that I have that aren't the priorities like the ones above. Amy gave me her computer when she got a new laptop, and we have a big huge room in our house that we're not using... I have wanted to set it up as a second office, get a desk and a couch and whatnot... but we don't have the money for said desk and couch... so the room is just sitting there filled with stuff that we just kind of put aside. I call it "The Room of Requirement" and if you're a Harry Potter fan, you can imagine what the room is like. I had big hopes and dreams for this room... but the project in and of itself is getting nowhere due to lack of money to buy what I need for it.
I have posters that I want to get framed, art that the kids have done over the years that I want framed to hang up, but I get mentally overwhelmed when I go through the boxes and try and decide what to do with what. So things are sitting in a pile outside my bedroom where I walk past them every day and it gnaws at me that I should do it.
I don't know. Like I said, I always thought that I was just a lazy fat ass... but maybe I have too much shit in my head and just can't focus... too much mind racing, filled with lists (to steal from BNL) and maybe I do have adult ADD.
Anyway. This is a form of procrastination... and I should drop it and get a move on. Quit bitching and moaning about my lazy and shift into a higher gear and actually achieve.
I'll let you know how that goes.
Before I go, though... here are a few observations to share.
-- Doug turns 40 next week. I wanted to plan something for him, but then realized that he has no friends that I know of that I'd invite who live close by. I could invite Smitty and Chris, but they live in Pennsylvania. Aaron is in freaking Portland Oregon, Wayne and Marcia and the kids would come down for some fun I'm sure... but I don't really know any of his co-workers. Doug doesn't have friends like that. He doesn't have guys. And it really strikes me all of a sudden that he doesn't.
-- We started going to a new church. Doug was shopping for a church online (church websites are so incredibly lame) and came across a page where he recognized the pastor as someone he went to high school with out in Western Pennsylvania. So we went. And it was nice. After the service, Doug chatted with the pastor and they had a really good laugh. He brought us down into the church basement to show us the cool crypt where the church founders were buried (the church is a Revolutionary War era building and has a ton of crazy cool history attached to it) and it was really cool to spend time with him. I like the church, but I did notice that there are NO kids there Jessica's age, or Geoff's age. There are little wee kids, but no teens and tweens. Which kind of made me sad.
-- I am madly in love with Dr. Drew Pinsky. I don't know why. I think he is hotter than McDreamy and much smarter and cooler. Am I the only one?
-- We got a million inches of snow on Monday, and then it rained and made it all thick ice. I want to take the dogs for a hike but the trails are disasterous and it won't be fun at all for anyone.
-- Sleuth TV started reruns of Keen Eddie and I could not be happier. Thank you Sleuth TV... bringer of Eddie, Fiona and Pippin, and Homicide Life on the street. Yay.
--Jess and I learned a lesson this week. She baked a million cookies and left them on the counter. One should always put the cookies one bakes in ziplock bags and put them in the cabinet, lest one's dogs eat all the cookies overnight. Also, one's mother should go to the grocery store and buy dog food when the dogs run out of food rather than say "ech. I will go in the morning (see above procrastination issues), so said dogs will not be so hungry as to eat all of one's cookies.
--The driveway turner-arounder ran over the boulder at the end of my driveway the other day and got stuck. He managed to get free, but not without causing some damage in the form of crushing the boulder into the ground and spraying gravel all over the damn place. Jackass. I ran down there to kick his ass but by the time I got down there he was gone. I'll catch him and ask him politely to knock it the hell off. In the spring, Doug and I have decided that we are moving boulders from the OTHER, unused end of our driveway (we're on a corner lot and the previous owner bouldered up one end of the drive to prevent this, but it's the wrong end to have bouldered, obviously) to the active end of our driveway, and we will put spikey strips and small IEDs under the gravel to prevent this from happening any more. Doug was actually trying to pull OUT of our driveway today and someone pulled in to turn around while he was backing up. I wish to hell they'd hit our car because my ghetto insides would have gotten all up and I'd be out there throwing down the fight. I hate people.
--The Patriots are going to beat the Chargers tomorrow. The Green Bay Packers are going to beat the Giants tomorrow. Which means I've got a little problem in my heart of hearts. It will mean that my Patriots will face off against my favorite Quarterback EVER... Mr. Brett Favre. And this could very well be Brett's last Super Bowl, or last game ever, if he retires. Should I wish for the Giants to win just so I can be happy with the Patriots crushing them in the Super Bowl, or do I trust that the Pack will make short work of cry baby Eli "I'm stuck in my brother's shadow" Manning and then be sick to my stomach during the whole Super Bowl. We shall know tomorrow what the outcome will be.
--Matthew Mcconaughey is overrated.
That's about it. Alright. Enough procrastinating. More later.