Saturday, March 15, 2014

What happens when Christine buys a printer

When we moved into the new apartment, I set up the office with the computer and printer and everything. We didn't need to print anything any time soon, and once we got into the academic year, Geoff was submitting papers to his teachers via their online program at school. Printing seemed to be a non-issue.

But then he had to print something in October, and told me the printer didn't work. I thought maybe the ink had gone dry or something since we hadn't printed anything since maybe May. I grabbed some new ink, and headed home... only to find that the ink wasn't the problem (after installing it).

The error on the screen was that the "printer door was open" and it most certainly was NOT open.

I tried to clean out the little hole where the little plastic thing goes in and tells the printer "hey, printer, the door is closed" thinking it got some food or some dust or some other detritus in it from the Boy and the Man who use the office. But that didn't do anything. I stuck a partially re-bent paper clip into the hole to MAKE the sensor feel something. That didn't work.

I read the manual. That didn't work.

I gave up.

Geoff asked us for rides to school so he could go to the library and use the printer there. He would have to be there for 7am in order to get things printed and organized and make it to home room.

This went on all winter.

Thursday, I ordered a new printer online at

Now, I've got an issue with this "delivery" system they have. I chose my printer, put it in the "cart" and the message on the screen said "In Stock" which I said "awesome" to.

I got a $50 rebate for buying it online, which I also said "awesome" to, or maybe "wicked pissah awesome."

I paid for it, I got the confirmation email. I didn't see anywhere in the transaction that the store does not take stock off of their own shelves when you get something online. It says that in the CART section in tiny stupid print (I had to go back through the process to replicate the screens so I could see the message, in tiny stupid print.

Where it should have told me was where it says "In Stock... but ..." or maybe in the body of the confirmation email there should be a message that says "oh, just so you know since you probably didn't read the message in the cart before you clicked purchase..."

I called the store to ask when I could pick it up because not having seen/read/acknowledged that "you have to wait for us to get it from the warehouse so you can't pick it up today" message. The kid on the phone was super nice and helpful and said "we can void the transaction and you can come in and buy the printer now."

"But I'll lose the $50 buy it online discount thing then, won't I?"


"I don't need a printer today THAT badly..." So we went and picked it up today.

There is a giant printer in a box looking at me right now.

And there is a reason for that.

When we moved in, we didn't unpack in any sort of organized or orderly fashion. Stuff ended up thrown in rooms. In the study, Doug grabbed the first thing he could, a small kids' desk that we always kept the guinea pig(s) on in the living room, and set that up for the computer. I told him "NO. Set up the dang computer desk! Don't do that! If you do that it will never get undone!" Because I know our family well.

"It's good enough for now."

Groan, says the wife.

I set up the computer, and put a small chair next to the kid's desk to hold the printer, which as you now know didn't ever work.

We were driving home with our new box of printer, and I said to Doug "so, what are the chances of you setting up the computer desk when we get home?" He sighed heavily and said he would do so.

And he did.

But the office has become the convenient dumping ground for everything that comes in the house ... Geoff's camping gear, stuff that really should go straight to the garage but comes inside instead, items from the trunks of cars that get totaled on Rte 9 in Wellesley or Rte 1 in Lynnfield. 

Layer that with the usual Lazy Geoff Syndrome where he drops soda cans and food wrappers behind the desk, and takes his socks off and they pile up under there (oh, so THAT'S where all the socks I bought you this year went!" the room is a complete and utter disaster. Un. Fucking. Mittigated.

So Doug set up the desk in what little space he had and then angrily went upstairs with his phone and a glass of water to play Candy Crush Saga... I called Geoff down and told him that this was our project of the day - and the project for his Family Life Merit Badge.

We cleaned the room and organized it... just so I have a place to set up the printer. Because I wasn't going to set it up on the chair again. I want a right proper office, with bookcases that have books on them, and no camping gear, and no empty guinea pig cage or guinea pig food.

We're not quite done, because I needed a freaking rest from the chaos... but we're almost done.

And this is all just to set up a printer.

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