Monday, October 22, 2001

what comes of gossip

My daughter insists she is not trick or treating this year. I'm horribly disappointed in her, seeing as she is 9 and this is one of the last opportunities she has to be a complete freak in life. And get free candy. Geoff wants to be Dexter from Dexter's Lab. Not sure I can find a size 6 boy's lab coat but I shall do my best. I'd rather they both dress as pirates. Geoff's been on a big pirate kick lately, ever since we let him use a shovel in the yard (we're excavating the area where the dreaded "shabby chic" white fence used to be) and he's digging the area up looking for treasure. So I am hoping to sway his opinion. I have all the makings for said costume. Fake swords, Bandanas, I can make a big gold hoop earring for him. Eyeliner facial scars and evil mustachio and goatee, and viola, pirate boy!

The weekend wasn't a total washout, but we did "burn the day" (contrary to the advice of Dave Matthews...) on Sunday. That was too bad because I was all gung ho to do something fun. And the leaves are so pretty. They'll be gone so soon. Sigh.

Saturday was at least productive, yard wise. Doug mowed the lawn and mulched all the leaves, thus readying the yard for winter. The aforementioned cleaning and deforestation of the behind-the-fence area happened. Long awaited and happily cleaned. Doug cut out the grapevine that had all but taken over the trees. So the leaves on the grapevine had changed color and now will wither and die. I almost regret it, but man, this thing is so out of control. Our own version of the Kudzu vine I guess. My neighbors are removing two trees in front of their house. I'm now painfully aware of how noisy the road is.

We napped a lot. The kids played together well. It wasn't a complete loss. No one fought too badly, adults or kids, and few tears were shed. I still can't believe the Patriots beat the Colts, giving them an intense on-field spanking, but... whatever!


Sunday I also went to a baby shower. It was at a restaurant, a breakfast buffet. There had to be about 100 guests. It was mental. She was "showered" unbelievably... I didn't stick around for the whole thing, but suffice to say, she needs very little for this baby. In fact, it was overkill.

At the shower I sat with some of the girls I work with. I'm not too catty a person, shying away from office gossip and politicking... I love the people I work with a lot. The talk turned to a coworker of mine who works in another division, someone I actually consider a friend, and they got my attention (my normally non-catty ears perked up)...

The accusation against said friend is that he's screwing around on his fiancé (he's slated to marry in June of next year) with someone in yet another department here, who is also slated to marry next year. I was stunned. The evidence presented: They've been seen leaving together late at night, in the same car. Giggly and playfully at that. They also were at the luxury booth at the stadium and someone said they came out of the bathroom together, giggling, and flushed.

Well, I gotta say, I'm stunned. First of all, that two coworkers, one male, one female, would dare to giggle and have fun together. As for the bathroom, was it really that they came out together or was one going in and one coming out and a joke was exchanged, and the witness caught the exchange from the corner of the eye while exiting the booth into the main hallway? I'm not sure.

And would any two engaged adults, not engaged to each other, have an affair or behave in an extremely poor fashion with witnesses? Please. Considering they both would jeopardize their jobs here, as well as their engagements, I'm in doubt that there is anything actually going on.

Plus, another thing that caught my attention in this is that if my male friend was laughing it up, leaving at night, and hanging out in tight hallways at football games with another guy, would ANYone say they were gay? I seriously doubt it. Everyone is so quick to jump to the conclusion when a guy and a girl are spending any time together, but it wouldn't ever dawn on them that the guys (or girls) were sharing a tryst.

One of my coworkers said that no one had mentioned this to me up to this point because "you are friends" with this guy. Gee, I guess it is better to disparage someone to people unfriendly or uncaring to the person than to mention it to someone who might mention it back to them... in hopes to clarify shit or to maybe put a word in that the actions are being noticed by the backbiters.

Part of me is really tempted to go to him and let him know that the appearance of impropriety is causing a whisper campaign against him, and that some particular folk are disgusted and have dropped their opinion of him substantially due to what is perceived... even if it isn't true. But part of me says "fuck it." Don't mention it, don't give a shit. Don't get involved.

In the past I'd mentioned something that was passed on to me by someone else, and it got right back to that person. The results were catastrophic... permanently damaged relationship between and the guy in question and myself. We had been really close in college, and over the years grown apart but still share a great deal of close friends. It isn't worth it to get involved. If shit is gonna be found out, baby, it isn't from me, I've learned THAT lesson.

It also proves to me why I never let myself be seen alone with Ben, Brian or Dan when I worked at Salem. I mean, none of them would want to have an affair with me in any way, shape or form, I'm so incredibly sure, but folks see what they want to see. I remember one day I borrowed Ben's yellow north face shell jacket because I was freezing on a walk, he was kind enough to give it to me. I had on short sleeves, he was all together too warm. It worked out well.

Later on, someone made a comment to me, "Oh, I saw you walking with Ben. You were wearing his coat... what's going on there?"

Oh, we're going steady! Wearing his coat is a loud and clear sign that I want the world to see. Just like when a guy you were dating in junior high gave you his coat... yeah. That's the ticket.

Oh please, you idiot. I was COLD. Dan was with us too, does that mean I'm doing both of them???? What is wrong with people. It pisses me off to no end that we're all mentally and sexually subject to those who are still trapped in junior high school.

I so very hope this is the case here at my office with my buddy over there. I'd love to be right for a change. I want him to have the benefit of the doubt, that for once a guy isn't a pig, porking another cute girl in the office behind the fiancée's back.

Okay, I'm out of here. More later when there is something substantial to say.

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