I ended up not even getting to see the ocean

This is Tuesday's entry, wrapping up the weekend, posting on Wednesday because we got home so late I didn't want to deal with finishing the post. Apologies. 

Buckle up though, this is a long entry...

Saturday, Wedding Day

The wedding was beautiful. 

In and of itself, a lovely ceremony. We were told not to take pictures, be in the moment. Those of us who listened did a good job and of course there was a contingent of people who disregarded the bride and groom's request. Including the bride's family. 

After the wedding, off to the reception in the big hall. This was a farm back in the day, so this was the barn. There is a little room off to the side called the Milk Room. Which Doug just referred to as the Red Room or the Room with the Very Slow Filling Ice Machine. 

It is a big beautiful space, and it was decorated wonderfully. the Bride & Groom had a shared loveseat couch, and the Bride's Side table consisted of Team Us. Jess was the "Best Mate" which made me smile, and their toast was very lovely. 

M&D set up "signature cocktails" for his & hers, but asked if they could add a third. In tribute to my husband, who once said to the bride he was "sweating like a toilet bowl in August" and that "blue drinks are the BEST drinks." She remembered his recipe for our favorite blue drink, minus one ingredient... 

His drink is at the top, her drink the middle, and Doug's at the bottom. 

Doug seemed kind of surprised, overwhelmed a little, and honored. 

Pineapple juice, midori, blue curacao, vodka. The missing ingredient that M didn't add in was ginger ale, which makes it bubbly and poppy. But that's okay. 

Doug informed the bartender that this drink was entirely his fault. She found that amusing, but at the end of the night said it was the absolute most popular choice. She had to mix up multiple containers of it - they served all 3 coctails out of big lovely glass containers, which were so pretty next to each other. Here's a pic of Jess and Liz, modeling with the cocktail "Toilet Tank in August." The name of which I'm sure confused a lot of the wedding guests. But. We know the story!

There was some bride's family drama, which I won't get into. Suffice to say, it's kind of heartbreaking when on your wedding day your family pushes you to the brink of tears and frustration. The groom said to me that she was suffering from "death by a thousand cuts..." and he felt frustrated by them all. Welcome to your wedded life, honey. I'm here if you ever need to talk. 

Jess, as Best Mate, will be following up with her. They wanted to give the newlyweds a lot of peace and grace, but when you're someone's best mate, and you usually talk every day of the week, a touch base after giving that wide swath of space is important. 

C took a ton of fantastic pictures at the reception, I spent about an hour combing through and looking at them on Wednesday morning while finishing this post. So many to pick from... they need their own blog entry. 

We clean up very nice.

Sunday

Sunday morning, we skipped breakfast and slept all the way in. 

I was up until after 1am the night before hanging out with Lin and Jess. Doug went to bed but his belly ached from too much delicious and too much Blue Drinks are the Best Drinks action. 

Thankfully, Lin texted me and my alerts were on, so that woke me up. Otherwise I would have missed them.

Lin and Ronnie were headed for the ferry in CT, so they left off early. 

Missed them before they were out of the parking lot. 

I had a little Jess time before they had to go back to the doggo. 

Check out was strictly at 11am, so we obeyed and got our shit together. So much stuff, so many bags, so much mess. Throw it in the car we'll deal with it later!

Doug and I had the day free to meander around Southern NH. Our goal was the seacoast but we ended up lolling about at a library booksale fundraiser, (Doug thought the sign said "Boob Sale" because of the telephone pole in the way). 

Then he was hungry, wanted an omelet, and we tried to find a place C had taken me to in the past but it is out of business. Sadly! We discovered we were a mile or so away from C's camp. So let's swing by there, grab her, and go to the place I had suggested we go to earlier in the discussion after the book sale - The Big Bean cafe in Exeter.

We had a lovely late lunch, and took a toodle aboot in Exeter, which is a lovely little town. Back at camp we had a burger grill night, cocktails by Doug, including a lovely purple thing. 

One can never get enough camp. 

For as crummy as the weather was on Thursday when we were all there (the night of my wipe out) Sunday more than made up for it with sunshine and wonderfulness. 

Monday did too.

Monday

C delayed going to work until absolutely necessary. We played with her dog on the porch for a super long time before she went and it was the best. I love her dog.  Ginny can play and play and play for hours without stopping. But eventually falls over sideways. 

After C left, Doug and I discussed doing something, anything, such as maybe making it to the seacoast. But, he picked up his book and went upstairs to the bed.

"I live here now." he said to me as he slunk off to read, and nap. 

Okay then. 

What to do with myself? I didn't need a nap. I didn't want to go for a walk. I should have but I was kind of meh about it.

C had recently purchased some garden plants. She has this old picnic table that every year we say "this is the last year for this table!" yet she continues to stand up. Resilient! 

I went into the garage, and got all the pots out, some potting soil (ended up not needing that bag since there was plenty of dirt in the pots overall). Got the shepherd's hooks and the hummingbird feeders. 

Farmer Chris then went to work repotting the plants, making sure none of the plants and pots of the same color were put together. Can't have that. She has so many to choose from. And I didn't even repot all the plants. C's sister R is coming this weekend and I wanted to leave some work for them to accomplish together. Farmer Chris can't steal all the work! 

Doug came down after a while and made comments from the porch. I put him to use and got him to pull out the hose and hose-holder, which were too heavy for me to really lift and move around (my right arm still hurts). 

I watered all the babies, and we watered her hydrangeas and other shrubberies that were along the house. Doug talked about what needs to be cut back in the fall, what's good to let go to see how it does. She's had no luck with a lot of bushes over the years but the hydrangeas in back are going to be amazing in a few weeks. 

We met Jess at the Dog Park in their current town, and had a load of fun with Miss Dijon and her pals. Then we went to dinner for yaps and apps, and hockey on TV. C was in bed when we got back, Doug went to bed shortly after, I quietly stayed downstairs in the front guest room so as not to wake anyone up by going up the stairs. And I slept fitfully. 

Tuesday

C headed to work because it is Bagel Day for her team and she is the Bagel Fairy. Doug and I plotted our course of travel, and got out the door by 11:30. He scraped tree sap off the car window, I stripped beds, unloaded the dishwasher, and organized our stuff a little better than it had been "organized" on Sunday when we left the wedding. 

Our plan was to drive 101 West across Southern NH to Vermont's Rte 9, then into NY State to the Catskills to Rte 30 around Broadalbin. We'd head south from there to see what happens. 

It takes 9 years to drive across NH, but 5 minutes to get from Brattleboro to Bennington. It's a beautiful ride. 

NH and VT were gorgeous on the ride. Tons of pillowy clouds, mountains rising in the distance and suddenly you are at the top of them. We stopped to overlook everything by the Beer Naked Brewery, and I'd love to go back there for a visit sometime. 

Not the best picture. Lots of overgrowth and nowhere really good to get a shot of the valley below, unless ... we were in the brewery (behind me) up on the patio. That would have been sweet.

We stopped for lunch at the Vermont Country Deli in Brattleboro. The sandwiches were amazing and we both got dessert. They had a great selection of local beers, and they even had some Butterfly Bakery things for sale.  

Clare at Butterfly Bakery is a huge Guster fan, so folks like to take pictures of her stuff in the wild. I'm no different. Hats Off to you, Clare!

Somehow, we got twisted about with a detour near Bennington, finally making it over to NY in Hoosick. That cost us a good chunk of time, and as we approached the Albany area wouldn't you know it traffic was the absolute suck. We managed to get on I-87 South and didn't make it over to our Rte 30 excursion. 

Doug decided and declared that he just wanted to drive home in one fell swoop. I kind of really wanted to stop off and spend one more night somewhere. I also wanted a walk to keep the steps streak going. But. 

As he was the driver, I acquiesced to his wishes. Away we went. 

We did stop for dinner in Allentown, PA. We didn't want a big long stop, just something quick, but not Taco Bell. Doug saw a sign for this hot dog shop, Yocco's. Well. A hot dog shop, can't be that bad, can it? 

This is going to get its own entry, so be sure to read the side quest write up over here. 

And enjoy this comedy photo that I had Doug take of me of the Satan Hot Dog poking me in the butt.

Back on the road.

Things moved very well until we got to Harrisburg. Night paving/work on the highway slowed us right down and we were stuck for quite a time in Carlisle. 

He suggested we bail and take the backroads, which wouldn't be a bad suggestion if it wasn't late at night on unfamiliar roads so we stuck with the highway. At the state line, literally right at the state line, no more construction so Maryland welcomed us with a wide open road and about 10 minutes left in the journey. 

Hallelujah. Home. 12 hours of a trip. Albeit with lunching and detours, it was a good day. 

But sadly... the end of my 10k steps per day streak. I made it 226 days. By the time we got home, I needed close to 2k steps to hit the goal and I was not going to jump on the treadmill for a run. So I let it happen. I let her go. 

Before we left, I thought of walking down to the mailbox and back, but really wanted to clean up and get going more than get the steps. And, I thought we were going to stop along the way. There's the wonderful Walkway over the Hudson, which we've visited in the past. I would have enjoyed that. Oh well. 

Today begins a new streak, I guess. Digits below.

Tuesday digits

exercise: 9/12 hours.  No walk. 8200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 119
xpm: n/a
11:45pm: 156

food & meds:

8am: jardiance + phentermine
10:30am: piece of danish
2pm: turkey sandwich on sourdough; slice of carrot cake; met+glip
7pm: double dog, mystery sauce, a couple fries; met+glip

Side Quest Post - Hot Dogs on the Road

I'm not going to slag them too bad, but. 

This was not the best hot dog shop experience I've ever had. Honestly, at the end of the day who is sitting around deciding to eat hot dogs, of all things. But we were in Pennsylvania, and we're hungry, and the signs and billboards lured us in. 

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Hot Dog King of Yocco's Hot Dogs. 

First off - I'm going to give any family business the flowers they deserve for being around for over 100 years. They also have a partnership with Mrs. T's Pierogis, so I thought hey - let's go. I'm here for it.

We are both accustomed to the hot dog shop styling of Brighton Hot Dog Shoppe in Western Pennsylvania/Eastern Ohio. 

Friends, look at the Hot Dog in the picture above. He's the King of Hot Dogs but he has a hot dog on his pitchfork. 

He looks to me more like Satan torturing one of his minions than the King of Anything. 

If you click the link to the Brighton Hot Dog Shoppe website, see how friendly their mascot is. 

Which guy do you want to hang out with? Satan Hot Dog or borderline Spongebob-ish friendly Hot Dog Boi? 

Alrighty then. We continue. The secret is in the sauce, the sign says. 

The only secret is ... what is this sauce? What even is it? I thought it would be like a chili sauce but it is a brown paste with no flavor. I got the double dog, which is 2 dogs on one bun (tryin'a keep them carbs down), and I asked for cheese sauce and onions. I got no cheese sauce and some onions. And a lot of brown stuff. 

I didn't get the pierogis, shoulda. Because maybe it would have brought me some joy. Doug got fries, and those were exceptionally good, but an incredibly small amount. 

C told me that this restaurant is hugely famous in the region (she grew up not too too far away). But I cannot see why. It was just not good at all. 

Reader, if you find yourself out in Western Pennsylvania, and you would like a hot dog, go to any of the Brighton Hot Dog Shoppes out there. Get the chili cheese fries. Get a dog with chili sauce, onions, and cheese. 

And while you are at it, get a chocolate shake. Jess says these live in their head for free. 

Okay - side quest over. 

The Big Wedding

In addition to the last post wherein your humble narrator tells you the story of the shiner, many other things happened. 

Apologies for no posts, for anyone keeping score at home, but I am with one of the real human people who is not an AI bot who reads this blog and the other one just left to head home yesterday, so if you are a human and you missed our posts since last week, I apologize. 

Last Wednesday, Lin and Ron arrived at the hotel super late. In the morning, Lin and I had breakfast, we asked for late check out so we'd get an extra hour of coordination time. 

Then, on Thursday we headed over to mom's for a visit. She had PT, so everyone got to meet the dude, and he got to meet us, and watch mom be sassy with me and my sister. 

We all chatted about the masonry work, the walkway, everything. It was drippy and rainy, so we didn't do a lot of outside work or anything. 

After PT, we went out to lunch with her at the Familiar, had a wonderful time. 

She's hard to read but I think she was happy having us there. 

After we ate, it was kind of on the late side of things and headed north to C's cabin so we'd be able to have some fun there and not go straight to sleep. Ronnie had a great time with her little dog. And we had a great time with each other. 

There was the realization at some point that Linda and Ronnie forgot their garment bag, with their wedding attire and everything - especially Ronnie's new suit. Oh no. I guess we have to go shopping! 

Then I tripped and landed on my face in spectacular fashion. 

C went to the office on Friday morning, we drank coffee, and we got our plan together. Ronnie needed a barber shave, so he left off to do that first. When he got back, it was in time for Doug to go meet Jess to get their car out of the shop. Lin, Ronnie, and I headed to the mall. 

We bought me another dress, just because there were more options at this store than the one where Jess and I went last week. And we got me shoes for the rehearsal dinner and wedding. I have not bought any new shoes or dresses in years. Lin has a good eye and picked things out for me. She also got her dress, not what she wanted because what she wanted was hanging in the garment bag at home.... but she looked fantastic. Ronnie got his suit situation secured. A successful mall trip for all!

We also stopped and got me an eye patch at a Party Store, and some shiny doo-dads to bedazzle upon it.

Doug got to the hotel we were all staying at just minutes before us. 

Checked in and getting readied up, we were invited to the rehearsal dinner, even though we weren't in the wedding or rehearsed anything. M & D think of us as family. So, family comes to the dinner. 

We had a lovely time, wonderful visits, Jess' former roommates Liz and Ashleigh were there. Liz & Jess were in the wedding party. I hadn't yet met the groom in person, but I feel like I've known him forever and my heart was very full from just being there. And Miss Molly. Oh my girl. So beautiful. 

I had never met the groom in person before, but when we met the first time on Friday afternoon it felt so organic, like I'd known him my whole life, or his whole life. 

Friday night was great, we happily collapsed into bed. Here are some more pictures from the rehearsal dinner. 

I have to admit, even with the black eye, I didn't look too shabby. And we all cleaned up nice.

Saturday, we had the whole day to ourselves as the wedding was not until 6pm (Molly put 5:30 on the invitations to trick anyone who is persistently and consistently late to be there on time for 6pm). 

Lin and Ronnie set out into the mid-NH universe to drive around, look for some brekkie, and find a place for Lin to get a mani-pedi. 

Doug and I got up around 9:30, and slugged about until we felt like going for lunch in Manchester. We were about to get on the highway when Linda called to say their car was dead. Somehow, Ronnie had left the down-window button engaged/active while he waited in the car snoozing while she went in for her beautification treatment. 

Ooops. 

We turned around, to Doug's dismay (again, why I didn't call him on Thursday night to come help me because sometimes he doesn't understand when/why someone needs help and he questioned why they didn't have jumper cables, why there wasn't someone else there in the parking lot who could jump start them, why they don't have AAA.... this is why I don't call you for help, friend, and why people do call me). 

We got to them, they went to the auto parts store and got jumper cables, and we had the car started lickety split. And all it took was a half hour of our time.

They drove off to go get a replacement battery (smart) and we went to Manchester for lunch. Doug wanted to try Stark Brewing. Good choice. We had a couple beers, I had a great burger, and I think he downed a Reuben. 

We took a walk along the river, and there was some sort of artist/community fest where we bought some cute octopus things for Jess and got the hard sell from some community based businesses that we had no interest in but they were tenacious. No, I do not want life insurance from you, guy. 

Back to the hotel. Shower, dress, ready. Wedding. 

There are a lot of pictures to go through, but I have to go to bed. Ha. 

More tomorrow. I'll just post this fave of Jess and their friend (and my other "daughter" Liz) who were in M's wedding party. Besties since eighth grade or some shit. 

Digits below! And please love on Jess' shoes becaus they are so badass!

Monday digits

By the way - for all the days we were away (Fri-Sun) I did very well with the steps and the glucose. I just didn't keep track of it all. Starting fresh and new on Monday here.

exercise: 12/12 hours.  gardening in the yard/walk about, 10 min/.55 mi. Get the last steps for the night, 18 min/.85 mi. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 115
4:30pm: 167
10pm: 153

food & meds:

8:30am: jardiance + phentermine
10am: mini bagel w/pb
12:45pm: turkey and colby jack on Keto bread w/mayo. met+glip
3pm: slab of Tiramisu
6:30pm: scallops and mixed grilled veggies, coleslaw, 2 beers
7pm: met+glip

Puddle Puddle Pothole

Okay so I've been exceptionally clumsy this past year. Between falling down the stairs at C's house last summer, the treadmillpocalypse, and this past Thursday, it's been a journey. 

Your girl went for a walk Thursday night. We were at the cabin with C, having our visit, it was pouring, and I felt kind of bummed because I wouldn't get 10k steps for the first time in like 224 days or something. Damn.

C offered to go for a walk with me but I felt it was not worth the doing. I needed 2k steps which was basically a walk to the end of the long road and back. 

She went to bed, the others were chilling here and I noticed it had stopped raining. Well. It's 10:30pm. I'm going. 

So I did. 

And I was listening to Noah Kahan's new album and the song Haircut was ringing through my ears. I stepped in puddles. They were all cute and shallow. I feared no little splashes. I was doing this. I'm getting in these steps. 

Down to the mailbox and back, I'm thinking about all the poetry Kahan's able to write that are meaningful mostly to him but become universal somehow. American Cars is one of those songs. I've never really connected with his music, but on this album I'm hearing his confessions and it is all blowing me away. How do you dig this deep, be this personal, how? 

The title track, The Great Divide, hitting me in the feels.

Another puddle. I'm headed back to the cabin. Another puddle. 

Another puddle, but it isn't a puddle. It's a pothole. 

After what I can only describe as me flailing cartoon character-esque, with arms and legs wildly spinning in an attempt to not fall.

Fuck. I landed. 

I ate shit with my face on the side of the road.

Okay, get up. Laughing at myself like "I'm really glad no one saw this..." Get up.

Only I can't get up? I can't stand up. I can't push myself up. My left knee is still a mess from the treadmill. My right knee is now screaming at me. Both the palms of my hands are screaming at me. I flop over onto my side. 

Oh shit, I can't get up? What the actual fuck? You're strong enough to get up from a prone position on the ground? Did you break something? Is your leg broken? What is the major malfunction here? 

There's nothing to put my hands on to push myself up onto. Sand in the cuts, mud and water, I feel mud on my face, in my hair, the side of my head. In my ear? 

Another attempt or two and I'm like alright. Time to Phone a Friend and get some help. 

I call Carrie, I call Linda. Note, I did not call Doug because he sometimes doesn't answer the phone even if it is me. 

I asked for help and they came running. 

Their reaction upon seeing me to me was comical. But they were both anxious. "Oh, Chris." 

I said I had mud on my face, C said "that's not mud." 

And it indeed was not mud. 

They got me up into the car, up to the bathroom, got my clothes off, down into the laundry. I grabbed a shirt an my yoga pants from my bag. We got me cleaned up. 

Repeatedly, they asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital. I said no. I didn't feel like anything was broken? I knew I was going to be bruised up. They were worried I had a head injury, needed some concussion protocol, tests, something. But honestly, I think I knew this was not as bad as it looked, or, was going to look. 

I was terribly disappointed because I knew this was going to fuck up all the photos of this weekend. I wanted pictures with C. Pictures with my sister. With Jess who was the Best Mate on M's side for her. 

Here we are, in the one time we're all going to be super cute and I'm going to be sporting a shiner of epic proportions. 

Pictures are below, but, I'm putting a large amount of space between these words and the images, just in case you do not want to scroll all the way down and see them. If you're sensitive or squeamish, you'll want to not scroll beyond here. First picture is right after the incident, second is the following day. 

Mason, Finally

On Wednesday I was up at 6. I had to pee, and noticed mom hadn't gotten up to start the coffee the way she does, so I fired it up. Then, I stripped the bed sheets, put them in the wash, and started to organize my disorganized life. 

I think I was more than ready to check out of Hotel Hotbox. 

I looked in on her and she was fast asleep. She'll often say "I wasn't sleeping, I was resting my eyes." But she was out cold. Alive but out cold. Even the TV was off. 

Mom came down around 7:30 and was surprised I was up. I told her that I woke up at 6 and got the day started. The sheets were in the dryer and I had started her laundry that was in the hamper.  We chatted a bit, and talked about the plan for the day. 

I was leaving to get Doug at about 1:30, she'd be out at lunch. I wasn't planning on coming back to the house. "You have a lot of food in the refrigerator," she said. 

"Yes, I will pick that up Wednesday afternoon." 

She left, I left, and I got to Providence right when Doug's train arrived. He said it was a good trip but felt extremely long. Considering when you fly it is a little over an hour, a 7am train coming in at 3pm is indeed a long ass trip. 

With no wi-fi. None.

So his young man's dreams of riding the rails weren't as fantastic as he'd hoped. 

Still. He was there, and I was so happy to see him. 

He had picked out where he wanted to eat so we headed right over there for early dinner/late lunch. They do an Appy Hour (cute) and he got oysters, we got beers. I got Asian wings, which were beyond wonderful. 

I'm kind of a wing snob, I can't remember if I've written about this before but wings have to be deep fried and crispy. If you serve me some flabby ass wings, you are dead to me. These wings were perfect. Absolutely the way I love and always want them. They were tossed in a sweet and tangy sauce and generously sprinkled with black and white sesame seeds. 

I ordered a second serving. God, yes. I'm being that person. But when you're finally in a place where the thing you like is just that amazing .... do it. Don't deny yourself. Eat that thing. 

After his dozen buck-a-shuck oysters, Doug got a spicy tuna roll from the sushi menu and some lobster bisque. 

I felt the need for some salad, with protein, and went for the beet salad with a gorgeous slab of salmon. 

Amazing. 

We took a walk after we ate, Doug was in search of a big ass gelato, but somehow each place we went to that said they had gelato didn't have gelato. We ended up at a little bakery, I kind of wanted a cannoli but they had these beautiful cakes... and we each got a slice to enjoy back at the hotel. 

Providence had some weird things to show us, but overall, she was fun. 

At the hotel, we passed out. Big naps. I normally don't nap in the day but I was incredibly exhausted so it felt good to sleep.

Cake and hockey, back to sleep. 

My phone rang at 7:30am. Guess who it was. Yes! It was my mom! 

"What did you do with my bill from the Propane Company?" she asks. 

"I didn't do anything with your bill from the Propane Company. I offered to go pay it for you if you wrote the check, but you said they would miss you too much and be sad if you didn't come in personally so you were going to do it, so, I never touched it." 

"I've gone through everything on this dining table and I cannot find it." I thought to myself Jeeeeezus this is how things get lost when Linda has stuff organized, and you mess shit right up. Great. 

"I had the envelope down in my room because I wrote Jimmy's phone number on it."

"Well, if you had the envelope down in your room I'd almost thing for sure you have it in your room, but hey don't fuss, I'll call them."

We went back and forth, and I finally told her that she should just let it go, I'll find the amount by calling them when they open. Just.... stop fussing. 

I went down and got breakfast, there were a couple business ladies down here taking up the conference table in the lobby, talking about how they had to reconcile this thing to that thing and have a conversation with that guy before the meeting and everything was so big and important. 

I called the propane company and got the amount, and indeed, the girl at the desk there said she loves mom very much, and had a birthday card for her ready to hand over. I let her know mom would be over this week. 

Doug and I went over to get mom, and we went over to the BBQ place that one of her favorite people and her brother own. It was like a family reunion. We had a kick-ass lunch, and a wonderful visit. 

Back to mom's and she went to take a nap. We had a mason come over to meet on fixing things up with the walkway and the parking, putting in a handrail, and getting it all fixed up for her so she can safely get around the outside of the house. We did a little yard puttering, and I planted some wildflower seeds that I really hope will take, and will be beautiful by my next visit. 

Doug took a nap so I hit the treadmill. I could not fall asleep. Then, I talked to my cousin B for about an hour about his brother. He's on his last lap, it seems. B is headed down this weekend and wanted to check in with us to see if we were interested in coming. Well, sorry. Nope. Maybe next weekend if he's still hanging in. 

It was a heartfelt discussion, up against the reality of his brother's imminent demise. 

Lin and Ronnie are on their way, they'll be here probably in 2 hours. I'm writing at about 10:30 at this point. I got them wine and beer for their arrival. I will probably be out cold by the time they get here. 

Busy day. Tomorrow, one last visit with Shirl, and off to NH! Woooooo! 

Digits for Tuesday and Wednesday below. 

Tuesday digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.  Slept through 7pm. 2 walks, neighborhood for 20 min/1.04 mi; around Federal Hill, 24 min, .40 mi; 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

6:15am: 133
xpm: n/a
11pm: 107

food & meds:

6:15am: jardiance + phentermine
9:30am: 2 good yogurt w/nuts and berries mixed in
noon: atkins shake; met+glip
4pm: asian chicken wings (double batch, so good); beet salad w/salmon (so good) met+glip
10pm: slab of carrot cake

Wednesday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Hotel treadmill, 20 min/1.5 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

8:15am: 160
4:45pm: 120
10:45pm: 140

food & meds:

8:15am: jardiance + phentermine
9am: Hotel bacon, a biscuit sandwich w/pork sausage, scrambled eggs and a slice of cheddar cheese
1:30pm: pulled pork sandwich, coleslaw, met+glip
glass of wine at mom's while gardening
8pm: snacks snacks.... celery w/pb; pita chips and queso; chips. 2 beers, met+glip

You are in control of your situation

This morning, I was futzing around with games on my phone down in dad's room. I could hear my mother yelling. It wasn't yelling for help, it was yelling in mad. 

So I walked down to find her trying to put on her pants to get dressed. 

She had on a TV show (mind you, I will not say "she was watching" because she does not watch TV, it is just perpetually on, and loud) a show with some cops and yelling and lots of bleeping out the swears. 

I could hear all the bleeps down the hall, that's how loud this is. 

So I ask her what's wrong, does she need help with her pants. 

She yells at me she does not need help with her pants (oh, okay) but the TV is pissing her off. 

"All these goddamn beeps!" she yells. "It's been going on for a half hour! The beeps are driving me crazy!" 

"Um. Change the channel?" I offer. "Mute button? What is it you want or expect? You're watching a Fuck/Murder/Kill show and they have these segments where the cops chase people, and they have to bleep it out because they can't air that."

"Well I don't want to change the channel," she says. "I don't want to put it on channel 4. They have that show with that girl who used to be a child star and I hate her." 

"Drew Barrymore?" I ask.

"Yeah, I can't stand her."

"Oh that's too bad, I love her," I say, "And there isn't any swearing on that show so there won't be all the bleeps." 

I tell her to pick another Fuck/Murder/Kill channel, Lord knows she's got at least 5 or 6. Or just mute it. Or ... turn it off? Please, for the love of God just turn it off?

"You are in control of this situation, mom." I said. "All you have to do is press a button. In fact, you have multiple buttons you can pick to press." 

She made faces and gave me the finger. So she's in a great mood first thing this morning. Right off the bat. Waking up, choosing violence. It's been a long week. But at least we didn't get this version of Shirley earlier in the week. I may have gone to the hotel. Fuck trying to save money by staying here. 

The other thing this morning is she came down here and told me that early this morning she almost fell down. She stood up, and got dizzy, and fell forward and kind of face planted on the wall next to her bedroom door. "At least I didn't fall through the doorway," she said. Yeah. Thankful for that. 

I told her that I'd been thinking she should move down to this room, because it is 5 steps from the bathroom. It would be much safer for her, she wouldn't have such a long trip with obstacles. 

"No. I don't want to." 

"Well, how come?" I asked.

"I want to be up front where I can see what's going on," she says. 

"What do you mean, see what's going on. Like, the window is so high up you have to stand to see out of it, you can't just look out the window. And what, see someone's walking their dog? See someone driving home from the market? So you can just be nosy? Be like that old biddie on Bewitched? Instead of having a much shorter, easier, safer walk to the bathroom?" 

"You're not even paying attention to what's going on anyway," I said. "The other night I came home and there were ambulances and a fire truck on the other side of the circle and you had no freaking idea. All the flashing lights, and you're sitting there playing your game." 

She got mad at me and told me to mind my business.

Hilarious. She don't wanna mind HER business, but tells me to mind mine. I'm shaking my head. She's something else.

I went and got my hair cut, the stylist was delightful. I really liked her, and I'll probably be back next time I'm around here and need a nice haircut.  Linda and I had a yap while I was out walking and I got to tell her the story of the TV, which she laughed at very hard. 

On the way back from my walk,  I saw a cat that I have seen many times but lately he's not been around. 

His name is Sammy, I wrote about him in 2023, and I still love him. And my dedicated 10 is now a lot more steps!  Sad I didn't get his picture but was super happy to see him. 

My friend Alex came to pick me up for dinner at 6:30. We always try to have dinner with him when we are in the area. So we had a lovely yap and meal. He has a lot going on, and a new relationship, and we just had the best time catching up and being joyful. 

I kind of wanted to cancel, I'm just so tired, but it was worth it to go out and he was so kind to come this way instead of us meeting in the middle. 

I chatted with Doug, and I'm so looking forward to having him with me. I've missed him so very much. 

Anyway, here's me and Alex and the new haircut. 

Digits below! 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.  Missed 7pm while at dinner; Walk while talking with Linda, 27 min/1.28 mi. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 130
4:45pm: 126
11pm: 129

food & meds:

7:45am: jardiance + phentermine
11:30am: roast beef and colby jack on Keto bread; met+glip
5pm: trail mix
7pm: salad, brisket flatbread, 2 beers; met+glip
10:30pm: 6 reeses pb cup minis; white wine

Shirl & The Girls

This morning I drank the coffee and did the walk. A different podcast for these steps, rather interesting history of the first settlements in the not-yet colonies and all the missing settlers over the years. 

At one point, a cat came out to see me. Then another. And another! (pictured in order of visitation).

They all let me pet them, they live on the same street near each other. One looks a lot more ragged than the others. 

I spent more time than I intended petting cats but, sometimes you just have to stop and pet cats. And you take pictures of the cats. Because it is what you do. 

After I got back, I got showered, and ready. We were meeting Jess for lunch. It was a delightful time. Mom was in good spirits seeing Jess. 

I had delayed the getting scallops action, but today was the right day. Have to say that you get less, a lot less, of them than when the old owners ran the joint. Still, they are the tastiest around so, not gonna complain too hard. 

We got back to the house for a short hang and it was naptime for mom. Jess and I went dress shopping for me. 

We picked out a few, and Jess took pictures and texted "The Squad," my sister, her 2 besties, and the bride. The bride was sleeping (she slept 18 hours - completely exhausted from so much things), and getting the feedback from others was important. The dress I would have bought was pink/champagne colored and Linda told Jess I looked like I was naked. I didn't think so, in real life and in person, but, if I'm going to look naked if a camera points at me then, well, no. 

Also, all the dresses were shorter than I wanted. I really wanted something that would be mid-calf, below the knee, to... hide my knee. 

We finally found one, it works, yay! 

Then, we went for shoes. DSW had shoes I wanted but she didn't have them in stock. I'd have to go to Plymouth or Dartmouth for them. 

Will solve that problem later. I have days to find shoes. 

It was a lot of fun spending time with Jess, "yapping" as the kids say. 

Tomorrow, haircut. Tuesday Doug. 

Right now? Bed.  Good night! But I have to share how the bartender put us in the system for our order. Shirl & The Girls.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 5pm by a few steps. neighborhood walk, 34 min/1.71 mi; shopping walk, 22 min/.46 mi. 12k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 105
xpm: n/a
9:30pm: 116

food & meds:

7:45am: jardiance + phentermine
8am: last of the danish
2pm: scallops, coleslaw, fries; pinot grigio; met+glip
7pm: peanut butter sandwich on keto bread; mixed nuts; pinot grigio
8pm: met+glip

Soul Vampires

Writing this on Saturday night. Somehow Friday's entry didn't happen. I felt absolutely exhausted by 8pm. I went to bed so early. 

I told Linda that whenever I'm here I have a list of so many things I want to do to be helpful and get done and literally nothing happens. Nothing. It is like all my life force, my soul, gets sucked out of my body. 

It hasn't helped it has been intermittently raining and blah. And work was a lot. My energy flagged hard at the end of day yesterday. All I wanted to do was nap.

After work, I went to meet some of mom's friends that she doesn't hang out with much any more because they don't go to that restaurant they all used to go to. She didn't want to come with me. Because it wasn't "the restaurant." 

D & B, the other D, Trixie and her husband, another couple who know my mom and dad very well, and a few people I didn't know - it was a big gathering. We toasted Dad for his birthday, everyone raised a glass, more than once, to Bart! 

D has been very helpful to my mom over the years and especially since dad died, but she also does a lot of work for her own neighbor who is much needier with COPD and a lot of health issues. 

Also, my mom pissed her off a lot a couple months ago so she took that opportunity to super scale back her involvement here. I can't blame her. I would too.

But she misses my mom, and mom says she misses her. Mom won't call her to say hi, and D reached out to say hello last week but mom was kind of like "meh" about hearing from her. 

Mom leans a lot more on her neighbor here, and D said "she's going to burn her out with her needs, like she did to me, and then she's going to say something she can't take back." 

That's when I started to think maybe my mom is a Soul Vampire in a way. I've had my share of Soul Vampires in my life over time, and mom never used to be that way to me, but lately, I've felt the drain. I've seen the drain on other people. 

I don't really want her to wear out her fellowship with her neighbor. She and her husband have been so kind to mom for so long. She's funny as hell, and I really like that mom has this person to turn to. They've been friends for years, friends a lot longer than I was really aware of until my dad died. A lot of connections here to people in Old Folks Land. 

After getting back on Friday, I gave mom the greetings from the crew and she seemed somewhat interested in how folks were doing, but, she was playing her game and busy. 

I think I took my blood sugar at 10 and went right to sleep. 

Today I woke up at 1am, and was awake for quite a while. I listened to several episodes of The Constant, and tried another podcast called Our Fake History. It's alright, I liked it except the interstitial music was really loud rock and roll guitar, and that was a bit jarring as I was trying to actually snooze back. It's the kind of podcast I could do while out for a walk, or on the treadmill. I'll keep it around. 

After one episode I went back to one of my familiars with very gentle music and fell back asleep around 4. 

I heard mom making coffee, it was 6am-ish. Too early to really be up on a Saturday. So I went to the bathroom and drank a pint of water so I'd be sure to be waking up at a normal time. That is always a perfect trick to not sleep forever. 

I made my coffee and headed out for a walk almost immediately. I knew we were going to the restaurant for lunch today. There were people mom said she expected to see there, and her fave bartender was working. 

It was a good walk, Perfectly timed with the podcast I was listening to (not the one I am thinking will be good for walking). Showered, ready to go, lunch was good, the people mom thought would be there were there. But she's weird. She doesn't actually spend time with these people, she just wants to see that they are there and then she's satisfied. 

The wife in the couple is on oxygen. She's had a really rough couple years. She fell out a third story window and almost died a few years back, and now she is reliant on oxygen thanks to years of smoking. 

She stood up to leave, and had to stand there for a really long time breathing. And it was a little worrisome to witness. Her patient husband stood beside her, hand on her back, waiting. 

And my mother goes "Oh my God look at her trying to breathe." 

I wanted to punch her in the face and tell her to shut her bitch mouth. Yes. We all see her trying to breathe. Everyone sees her.  You do not have to yell that out. 

The other day I said she is in her toddler era. And that's what a small child might do. And she does shit like this all the time. 

It is exhausting. 

We got back to the house, it was about 3, she was ready for a nap.  I decided I'd go over and look at dresses, shoes, whatever, over in the plaza. There is a JC Penney, and a DSW shoe store next door. I saw a couple dresses that are maybes, a couple I really liked but honestly cannot wear with my knee being the absolute disaster it is. 

I then walked over to the other side of the plaza, went to Torrid and Ann Taylor, Talbots, the wine store, basically just looked at things and thought about things. Cute tops, lots of cute tops. Nothing wedding wear wise in those stores though. 

When I got back, I had already beat the 10k steps and figured if my body wanted a nap as a treat, we'd get a nap. 

The phone rang. 

It rang again.

The caller ID just said things like "Call from, Nantucket." "Call from, Montana." None of these are real calls, and she does indeed let it just go. But she's obsessed with following up to block the call. 

She comes to my door, I'm actually asleep. I was able to fall back asleep after the ringing. 

"Chrissie." she says, "CHRISSIE!" 

I raised my head and said 'oh hi? what?" 

"I can't take a nap because this fucking phone keeps ringing." 

Oh so you woke me up to tell me that. Okay. "Well, I actually was sleeping," I told her.

"Well I can't." She says. 

"You can fix that by turning your ringer off. You do not have to have the ringer on, at 900 volume."

"No." 

She said and walked away. 

Thanks, that was a nice nap.

Jess and Molly are coming tomorrow and we'll have lunch at that restaurant again. I've been holding off for scallops so tomorrow being mother's day, I'll be shoving that in my face. 

We'll go shopping together, I am so happy Molly is coming because she can totally guide me in how to dress as the pretend mother to the groom (long story which I will write later). I'm looking forward to this.

I also found out where there is a Macy's for a second place to go lookie loo at things. 

Right. Digits for 2 days below the yard bunny that actually hopped over to see me.

Friday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Three walks - first walk cut very short by sudden rain, 6 min/.34 mi. Decent walk after dinner; 20 min, 1.08 mi. before bed to finish up the 10 k, 13 min/.48 mi;  10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 114
4pm: 111
10pm: 86

food & meds:

8am: jardiance + phentermine
8:30: strawberry cheese danish
1pm: met+glip, the last of the cranberry walnut chicken salad
5pm: 3 chinese chicken wings, 2 beers
7:30pm: roast beef & colby jack cheese on Keto multigrain bread; met+glip
9pm: pita chips & hummus; wine

Saturday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 2 walks; morning walk 22 min/1.16 mi; around the plaza shopping, 37min/.85 mi; 12k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 131
4:30pm: 142
9:45pm: 110

food & meds:

9:15am: jardiance + phentermine
1:30pm: buffalo chicken strips and a small side salad; 2 glasses of wine; met+glip
4:30pm: atkins protein snack
7pm: met+glip
8pm: a little southwest taco pasta salad; pita chips and hummus
white wine

The Birthday Girl

Last night after I got back from Walmart, mom was puttering around, looking through my groceries like anything would be of interest to her. 

"Ew, lettuce."

Heaven forbid veggies touch her body. 

I needed a salad, and got me some happy things for me that make me happy. Baby greens, little cherry tomatoes, a nutty toping. I've got two types of chicken salad. I can build a fortress of goodness, and she can eat her peanut butter wafers. 

I bought her flowers and a little cake, which were both hiding on the porch until this morning. 

She was up around 5 am, and when I woke up at 6:30 I noted she had not started the coffee at 5. I had it all set up for her to just hit start, but she didn't. Not sure why. 

So I did it, and got the flowers ready for her. I went down to her room, she was somewhat snoozing, but heard me and looked up at me. 

"I started the coffee for us, happy birthday!" I told her. She smiled and thanked me. "When you're ready to get up, the coffee is waiting for you down there. 

She shuffled down from her room and into the kitchen, and was surprised to see the roses. She gestured to them. "Who are these from?" 

Um.

Me? (good lord, lady. What. Who would they be from at 7am).

Happy birthday, lady. 

We went to lunch at 1, the bartender that she loves picked up the tab for her lunch, so I tipped her 100%. When people take care of this old lady, I want to show them thanks. Mom's neighbor who keeps a good eye on her came to the house while we were out and she retrieved the secret cake and the candles I'd bought to take it to her house for later.

At the bar, the bartender brought out cake with a candle for mom, and the folks in the bar sang for her. It was all so sweet. 

Back to the house, she went directly in for a nap. I had a meeting with my boss, then office hours for the product team for another project happening (they did a great job and killed it). I had a client meeting at 4:15, they're in a different time zone, and I wanted to be available for them later in my day. 

Once things were wrapped up, we went to her neighbors' house. They ordered pizza and we had the cake, video called Linda so she could be with, and we had a nice time. I played with their cats, and it was a delightful time. I don't get to spend much time with them, and these neighbors do take really great care of her.

I took a decent after dinner walk, because it warmed up and got sunny compared to the drizzly nasty morning. I realized I was only at 5k steps at 7pm so I had to up my game, and so I did. 

Mom's friend bought her cute pyjamas as a gift, so of course she put them on the minute she came into the house. I got the coffee ready, and got a snack of some protein to balance out the cake and ice cream. 

Doug and I had a nice chat. We don't talk every day when we are apart, so there was fun stuff to talk about. I told him all the mom stories and he told me about how he went to Lowes to buy raised garden beds and they didn't have what he wanted, so he's just going to order what he wants online and have it shipped while he's up here.

Once mom was in bed, I was about 60 steps short of 10k for the day and decided to just walk around the house. The living room was dark, and I didn't have a problem in the dark the past few nights. I thought to myself, I should put on a nightlight in here, but. 

Boom.

My left knee hit the edge of the chair. We had moved the living room table a bit further into the middle of the room so she can navigate through with her walker when she needs to, and I knew that I had to shift a little but ... I shifted too much. 

And of course, that's the knee that got belt sanded on the treadmill. It was almost healed. Almost. Whacking it, I saw stars, and I immediately threw my ass into Dad's recliner and did not scream at the top of my lungs. I felt the heat and sting of blood, and knew I had to get out of the living room quickly because otherwise, it was going to look like a murder scene in the living room. 

As was, the kitchen looked like a murder scene. 

I got to the kitchen sink, and grabbed some paper towel to pressure on the wound, got it to basically stop, and then realized how badly I had to clean up. 

It was not fun. 

Thankfully, I had bought gauze pads and stretchy clingy tape, and that was in the house. I had left a lot of shit in the car, but ... oh thank you brain for knowing to put this stuff into the backpack when we got here. 

Digits, below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 33 min/1.73 mi;  11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:30am: 125
5pm: 147
11:30pm: 108

food & meds:

7:30am: jardiance + phentermine
8am: strawberry/cheese danish from walmart
1:30pm: 8 buffalo tenders; 2 glasses white wine; met+glip 
6pm: slice of pepperoni pizza, small slice of chocolate cake, hoodsie cup
7pm: met+glip
9pm: 2 baby bel cheeses
white wine

In Her Toddler Era

I woke up early, and after a cuppa I took a walk. I had taken the morning off, so I wasn't pressed to get back. I thought I might loop again but it started to rain. And it has not stopped. 

At 10:15 I drove my mom over to the hair salon. Once a month she sees this lovely woman who takes very good care of her, and my mom is lucky to have her. There's a lot there that I do not have the energy to write out. 

When we got back, I started work, and my mom had the visiting nurse/PT person coming. But it wasn't one of the usual girls, this was a guy.

"I don't want a guy." She said to me. "I want Michelle." 

Well, Michelle has better things to do so she's sending this guy and why don't you just be nice." 

She was fresh, and if you ask me, she was rude. 

But these in-home service providers are damn rockstars, and he can take it. "Aaah, you're a spitfire, I see!" he says. Eventually she warmed up, but she did threaten. to shove her cane up his ass and said "You wanna be a chocolate popsicle?" 

I told her after he left that it isn't cute, it isn't funny, no one is enjoying that. So she stuck her tongue out at me. 

At 5:30 I went and got a pedicure. I picked this cute sparkly rose color, and now I feel like I need a sparkly rose dress. Will solve that soon enough. 

I was going to go to Walmart and pick up some things, like a loaf of bread and some salad stuff for myself, and tissues for her, but it was absolutely pouring, the parking lot was packed, so I went to Wendy's and got a burger instead. 

Linda and I talked extensively about mom and how the day went. And then I realized I was over 3,000 steps away from 10k. Even with the walk. Damn. 

I didn't want to lose my streak so, I put shoes on and headed out to Walmart after all. 8pm, hardly anyone was there. I got about 2k+ steps out of the way, enough to just get back to the house here and finish by doing a walk-about. Mission accomplished.

Tomorrow is her birthday. 83 years. I got her a little cake and some roses. I need to find a vase. Shit I should have done that before getting cozy. Ha. Well. I'll figure it all out in the morning. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Walk around old folks land, 20 min/1.13 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 97
4:30pm: 137
10:30pm: 123

food & meds:

8am: jardiance + phentermine
12:15pm: left over caesar salad, left over rotisserie chicken, met+glip
4:30pm: Atkins snack bar
6:45pm: Dave's Double cheeseburger & fries from Wendy's; met+glip 
9pm: white wine with hockey