All the Self Care

Singing that title to the tune of "All The Small Things" by Blink-182, by the way. Chuckling to myself. 

Today I had appointments on my schedule. They'd been there for several weeks, and because my doctor's office is back where we used to live, it's over an hour and a half schlep there on a good day. 

I booked everything all at once to get it all done. 

I was 2 years overdue for mammogram and pap smear. I have three friends who recently have been diagnosed with breast cancer or other Cancer of the Lady Bits. When I had my hysterectomy back in the day, we opted to keep the cervix.  So the responsibility to make sure I don't develop some ick there is on me. I had not had an in person check up with my PCP in over a year. 

So yeah. Do it all. 

To be honest, I thought about canceling these appointments and rescheduling for ... when. June? I thought about going up to Massachusetts on Wednesday when I had a pretty free and open day with no trainings, few meetings, but honestly. 

Honestly, Chris. Take care of yourself, okay? You can't take care of anyone else if you have some shit going on. You've learned that lesson.

My ride down to the doctor was easy as pie. Never have I had a smoother trip down to a place close to DC. I was early enough that I got some bloodwork done before my appointment. This is a mandatory/periodic blood draw to make sure the meds I take are working for the blood clotting condition dealie. 

I have to do it every 4 weeks unless we have a bad reading, and then every other until things get back in balance. I made the appointment for the bloodwork on the app in my car in the parking garage. 

Ha. 

I walked in, 9000 people ahead of me, and pulled my ticket. Got called in before all of them. 

Sorry everyone. Use the app!

My PCP is delightful. One of the reasons we haven't changed to a closer office for the regional practice is that Doug and I both love her. 

I showed her my 2016 and 2026 passport photos (in this entry) and she couldn't believe the difference. We went over all of my trends in the bloodwork in the last 6 years. She gave me huge praise and accolades for the progress. Another reason to stay with her, she knows where I was in 2020 and before, so I don't have to build a history with a doctor all over again. 

We agreed to change one of my medications. I'll move off phentermine and onto another med she wants me to give a go on for weight loss. We both think that I've plateaued on phentermine, and it isn't going to make much of a difference to stay with it. 

That said, I weighed 190 fully dressed so they put 188 on the summary.

Let's see if we can get more progress on things. I told her I'd been stuck at 193/5 for a year. the fact I dropped a couple pounds in the past couple weeks is probably not because of the medication but ... stress? diet? something not meds. She agreed. And we'll see how we do over a couple months.

She also noticed my knee, and asked what happened. I told her about my incident. She laughed when I painted the visual of me holding on for dear life while my knee got belt sanded, and Doug came in and just pulled the emergency cord. I included the bit about Linda invoking the images of George Jetson. She grew up in India and wasn't familiar with the cartoon, but I told her where to find the video of him and the dog-walk treadmill. She lovingly and laughingly re-dressed the wound, with neosporin and love. Thanks Mom.

The pap smear was with a whole different doctor than my usual one. I am sometimes weirded out by having someone I do not know diving right in and poking at my hoo hah, but she was lovely and funny. She asked about my hysterectomy, and we both laughed about "bodies just be tryin'a kill us sometimes." 

Then, noting I didn't actually look at when my appointments were scheduled, it was noon, and my mammogram wasn't until 1:30. Ope, as they say.

Well. I guess I need a sandwich. Good thing I know the neighborhood.

There's a cute little bakery/sandwich joint across the street from the doctors. So I headed there, and had decision anxiety. I ended up ordering the "Fancy Reuben." What makes her fancy? the addition of grilled onions and mushrooms. 

The sandwich itself was tasty, but ... thin. for 16 bucks, I want a half pound of meat, ya know? I want a NY style reuben, fancy or not....and there was only one mushroom so it was not as fancy as they made it out to be. 

The coleslaw was delightful. I could have used a lot more of that. 

Back to the facility, and they took me 15 min early for the mammo. The tech was super fun and cute and we were done super fast. 

She told me "we're halfway there" after we finished the left side, then, she said "you know that song when they're singing Oh, we're halfway there...." 

I said "of course, we're living on a prayer."

She nodded and said she saw a reel of ... a lemon on a pear. 

Let that sit with you for a while. Lemon on a pear.

Once I was free of the mammo, I thought about going to visit Meg Dog and her parents in the old neighborhood, but it was too short notice. That'd be rude. 

So I just headed home. And it took so much longer going back. Friday, on a beautiful weekend forecast, everyone was on the road by 3pm. 

Doug and I had planned tentatively to go pick his suit up and then go shopping for me, and maybe have dinner. But he already went out and picked the suit up, and wanted to mow the lawn. Okay then. Pivot. 

I watered the flowers and did some tidying up out in the yard and garden. I worked for a couple hours. Geoff made cheesesteaks for dinner, so I had a half roll sized one with a couple fries. 

I cleaned out the car, we had a lot of junk and empty shopping bags in the back of the volvo. She needs a good vacuuming but it's much nicer. I also found the window sticky things for the EZ pass. The volvo didn't have any so I got some at a service center on the highway last trip. Then couldn't find them. Ha. 

All my friends know I am coming, except Sara. She has no idea. Can't wait to surprise her. She texted me all afternoon long about their trip up there, and they got to the theater by the skin of their teeth... 

Looking forward to tomorrow. 

Anyway. Picture of me here is from the doctor's office with TWO Wardrobe Changes!  I never look right in selfies. First one looks like I'm about to cry but I'm not?  In the pink top one, C told me I looked unhappy. I thought I was looking very serious to accompany my message and plea: do your self care, make your appointments, get your mammo. 

Side by side, here they are. Coming soon - stylie haircut. Can't wait. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. No Treadmill, no measured exercise. First day in FOREVER that I haven't done that. Weird. 10k+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

8:30: 120
5pm: 174
10:45pm: 83

food & meds:

8:30am: jardiance + phentermine
12:30pm: "Fancy" Reuben. It was fancy because it had grilled onions and mushrooms. For the price, it was not fancy enough. But it was tasty. Metformin (I had one in my purse, didn't have a glip). 
4pm: glass of wine w/doug
6pm: cheesesteak (mini) and a few french fries. more wine
7pm: met+glip
white wine after dinner

Thursday before a long weekend

We stayed up late watching hockey. I think I fell asleep around 1, but woke up at 3:30. Doug had also woken up but went downstairs to the guest room, probably to play a podcast and not disturb me. I also know when we wake up and go down to the bathroom, we tend to stay down there rather than schlep back upstairs. 

Someday, we'll have that 2nd floor bathroom. 

Anyway, I went to the bathroom and schlepped back up. I put on a podcast myself, and listened to most of it before I fell back asleep. Then awake again, start the podcast back where I remembered hearing the last thing, fell back asleep, woke up and didn't know how the guy ended up dying or if he went to jail so I found that spot. Oh and the podcast is over, start a new episode... 

Eventually, it is 6:30am. And I have to pee again. And I'm thinking about the cookies that are downstairs. How can I go back to sleep when I know there are cookies down there? 

So I just declared me up for the day. Toffee thought that was a good idea. 

I did her feeding and put her outside, got the coffee rolling, ate two cookies while dipping them into the coffee. Kind of blissful. I love that. 

Toffee came back in and Doug was very asleep in the guest room. She went in to cuddle with him for a bit but came back out to be with me. Obviously I'm cooler. I played games on my phone, watched the time, and thought about doing the treadmill but I didn't want to disturb his sleep. I can do that whenever. 

Eventually, all were up and home was bustling. It was cold out, and I have wanted to sit on the porch for coffee but have to settle for inside. 

We did a big training today for the product, over 80 people were in training, a lot of good questions and again a lot of way over my head tech-side questions. So thankful for my work son. 

We also did a check-in on all the tickets we've been getting, and my boss was very clear to ask how we're both doing (work son and me). A lot of this is big and overwhelming and we run the risk of something falling through the cracks, so he's doing just an amazing job of staying on top of things with the developers. Work son is writing documentation for the Hard Tech Thing. I'm dealing with the incoming helpdesk tickets, troubleshooting problems. 

Oh I just remembered I'm supposed to write a ticket for the devs. Shoot. First thing. Do it first thing. 

At the end of the day, work son said "so far he's the only person involved with any of this project - aside from you - who has asked me how I am doing and that almost made me cry."

Honestly, sometimes that's all that matters. Pulse check the team. Make sure they are feeling okay. Allow them to "show up as their honest self" if they're freaking out. Create that space, lovingly. 

My boss is very good at that. 

Anyway. 

Great training, lots of helpdesk questions, and one on our content management system not working for a partner share set up. 

After dinner, I fell asleep on the couch, again, that's the third time in 2 weeks. It's all a drain. 

And... tomorrow I've got doctors appointments. Doug is thinking he will take the day off, he needs to go pick up his suit. I have to pack. I folded, and I'm not joking, 11 loads of laundry and still have more to go. But now I know where that T-shirt is that I've been looking for, and Doug has clean underpants. All is well in the world. 

On that note, bedtime. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Run on the treadmill, 20 min/1.4 mi; 10 min walk at end of day to make the steps, .67 mi. 11k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

6:30: 140
4:15pm: 143
11pm: 106

food & meds:

6:30am: jardiance + phentermine
6:45am: 2 cookies
10:45am: 2 baby bel cheeses 
1pm: tuna melt on 647 italian; met+glip
6pm: chicken pasta alfredo a la geoff
8pm: met+glip
white wine+diet ginger ale

Doubletree Cookies and Wine

A while back a friend of mine posted a cookie recipe for the famous Doubletree chocolate chip cookies, and I was curious enough to print the recipe. And promptly forgot all about it.

I was having some anxiety tonight, which is pretty normal when [gestures at everything]. 

A number of things are going on. Work is one, but that's just work. Today was a good day, and my boss and I went over open cases and tickets, and got a lot of stuff organized to go to the team tomorrow. 

I finally got Doug nailed down for his travel plans for coming north to meet me up north. He's going to take the train from Baltimore, and I can get him in Providence on Tuesday May 12.. I booked a couple hotel nights, while he bought his train ticket. 

While we were planning all this out, I decided fuck it - I would bake those cookies. I also started drinking wine, and I've been doing my best to NOT drink on work nights but when your girl does baking, your girl does wine.

That recipe was just sitting on the counter, and I was sick of just thinking about it, walking past it every day (it is linked above). I wanted to make pan banging cookies but these called to me instead.

They came out very nice. We had hockey going on the TV, we were having some great conversation, and then we had cookies and wine. 

Some nights, that's all you need. Right? 

I did the treadmill after my 1:1 with my boss where we did a bug bash/ticket comb through for the ages.  We would have kept going if he didn't have to go to another meeting. I talked to my cousin Jimmy for 10 minutes and ran for 20 plus. 

After cookies and wine I went back to doing more work stuff, before I knew it it was so late. 

Still have some anxiety, but there is cookies and wine. Digits below the picture of the cookies.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill walk then run, 2 miles/32 min. good timing considering how much of it was walking! 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45: 126
5pm: 148
11pm: 110

food & meds:

8:45am: jardiance + phentermine
12:30pm: small ramekin of mac & cheese w/bacon
12:45pm: met+glip
1:15pm: BLT salad
6:30: Chicken Amaretto (a recipe Geoff found. Not bad!)
8pm: met+glip
9:30pm: 2 chocolate chip cookies
white wine

Missing Steps

I tried to pre-load my day with steps. I was up after midnight so I put in about 500 steps before I got in bed. That wasn't enough. While I'm making my hourly quotas, holy shit I'm not walking much else during the day. 

I did a run before dinner and I was really hungry so I wanted to just finish up and get off and eat. Then, fell asleep on the couch with Toffee. I didn't sleep well, maybe about 5 hours and none of them in a row. When I woke up, it was time for hockey.  I worked a bunch extra, helping a client getting ready for our big application launch and his stuff is a mess and a half. So I spent a couple hours just purging stuff for him. They can't permanently delete things, but I can. So I did. I have just one more thing to do for him tomorrow and he'll be all set.

The weather today was a little assy, cold and rainy. So no walk with miss Toffee after dinner, which would have been a perfect thing to do. In fact, she was hoping for it. I hit the treadmill for a second time in the day.  The Decemberists have some bangers that got me a good pace. I intended to just walk because I needed 2500 steps or so, but found the run, found the beat, several songs were 14.5 min pace, which is a little slower than I like to run run. But it was enough. 

The training we did today was pretty great. Lots of good questions and then some follow up help desk tickets. I didn't answer them all, and I'm sitting on top of one that I should send out before bed but. It's so late. 

There are a couple things making me anxious. We have some third-party partners to this, and they're very worried about stuff and I'm unable to provide them with answers. It's stressful. I'm reliant on others. 

Things launch 2 weeks from today. While I'm on vacation. ha. 

Anyway. 

Still ironing out the Doug part of the trip up to mom's. I talked to her a little bit today and she's very sore. I thought about just going up tomorrow but I really need to not cancel my own doctors appointments. Then, I thought about leaving immediately after said doctors appointments but I'd be driving to New England on a Friday Afternoon in the nice weather and that's just suicide. So I'll stick with Saturday. 

Alright. Digits below. No picture. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Two treadmill things. Run before dinner, 1.39 mi/20 min; Fast walk w/good pace around 10:30pm to make up the steps missing, 1.53 mi/23 min. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 113
4:30pm: 91
11pm: 138

food & meds:

8:30am: jardiance + phentermine
11am: plain bagel w/plain cream cheese and turkey breast; met+glip
3:30pm: protein shake in coffee
6:30pm: small bowl of pasta w/sausage sauce
7pm: met+glip
no alcohol

Planning for the North Country

We're planning our trip north for a big wedding on May 16th. I have a doctor appointment (well, the PCP, a boob squish AND a pap smear, yay me. Go Self CARE!)  I had taken off May 11, that whole week, and then Mon-Wed the week following. 

Mom had some issues this past weekend, and I decided since Linda was there last, I should go on up. And I can go up on Saturday early, and work from her house easily. Leave super early, drive on up. Ya know, like ya do. 

Only Saturday night there's a concert? of a ... Band I Like??? In.... Providence? 

Well. Okay. Twist my arm on that one. My friend Alex has a ticket I can buy off him, and I'll figure out where to stay in PVD that night before heading over to mom on Sunday. 

And then spend a week in the smoke-filled hotbox. Doug will fly up or take the train, and I'll get him in PVD. We'll have him visit with mom. Hotel one night at the hotel and I'll wash all my stuff and make it un-stinky, and yeah. Head north. 

I'm able to work anywhere on earth so the week of May 4-whatever I will be fine working from her house, as long as she doesn't walk down the hall while I'm teaching a training class and yell "Who are you talking to? What? Are you asking me something?!" 

Has happened more than once in the past couple years, I tell ya. 

So I'll call her tomorrow to let her know. She'll be thrilled. I know she loves when Linz and I come to visit. 

Now I'm looking for a Saturday night hotel, I've got my concert ticket sewn up. My friend Sara has NO idea I'm coming so this'll be a huge surprise. 

I kind of love a big surprise. 

Doug is shopping for his transportation. He's leaning to the Amtrak instead of the airplane. And I'll get hotel for while we're both by mom. Since we don't both fit in the bed at her house. 

Today was a good day. Doug took a nap and I took a Treadmill. Then I realized I was still a lot of steps short of 10k so I took the dog for a walk. Should have added an extra block for a full mile but I was happy to get back home for Hockey Night In America. 

No picture again, but it was a good good day. Tomorrow I have a training class at noon, slightly nervous but I think everything is going to go alright. 

Digits! Below! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill run - 20 min/1.37; Dog walk - 17 min/.80 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45am: 138
5:30pm: 95
11pm: 88

food & meds:

8:45am: jardiance (phentermine on order)
11:15am: egg mcmuffin sammitch w/double sausage double cheese; met+glip
3:45pm: protein shake mixed in iced coffee
6pm: nachos - a bowl with chips & melted cheese, meat, guac, sour cream
8pm: met+glip
9:30pm: small ramekin of mixed nuts
vodka & diet tonic

The RVA there and back weekend

A Saturday and Sunday entry! 

Saturday morning Doug and I headed down to Richmond to visit with my cousin. He's had a really rough time recently, aside from being on hospice. He lives in a nursing home and is miserable, and around Easter he twisted/pivoted to get out of a seat and broke his femur. It ... just broke. His bone cancer in his hip obviously is spreading (I'm no doctor but, you don't ust break your femur moving in a seat to stand up). I expect more of this as time goes on.

He is very angry, and very sad. Who wants to be living in a nursing home at age 58, losing your apartment, your livelihood, your everything. It sucks. The situation sucks. And hospice means he's just not choosing to have his medical situation treated any further except for the absolute most necessary things (like surgery to fix your broken femur). 

The facility is okay, I've seen worse but certainly there is better when someone can afford that kind of thing. And he, of course, cannot. He had a roommate that was stealing his stuff and threatening to kill him in his sleep. So they moved him and now he's got a roommate who is bedridden, sleeps all day, and talks all night. So he hates that guy and has select things to say about him. I asked if he could be moved again and he said that he could end up with someone even worse so. Remembering to charge his noise canceling headphones is important. At least he can put on music, and quiet the neighbor down. For someone who already thinks he's smarter and better than everyone, having this kind situation is obviously infuriating.

I sometimes think about hell, and hell on earth, and I'm sort of wondering right now if he's getting a taste? You hate "stupid/uneducated people" but those are the people in charge of your care, forever and ever. 

Hell isn't being tortured with pitchforks and flames. Hell, as Satre writes, hell is other people. Reminds me I should go re-read "No Exit." 

Before we hit the road we stopped at a used/new office furniture store. We both needed office chairs, so we bought 3 and one is for Geoff's desk. He's using one without wheels, and we figured he could use an upgrade. We also bought stools for the kitchen counter. Personally, I feel like we do not need these but somehow it has been Doug's dream or fantasy to have them. I pick my battles. If he wants it, okay. I just better see his ass sitting in them. 

He's going to pick everything up on Tuesday, rent a U-haul van for a bit. While I'm teaching my next training class. Making progress towards the downstairs office...

Traffic was decent, we took back roads down from our area to Fredericksburg, and according to Waze we saved 15 minutes by driving out of our way. And it is a pretty drive, getting prettier each time we go down as spring unfurls. 

Doug napped at the hotel, it's a long drive and he wanted a break. I was a little frustrated because I just wanted to go to the cousin, make the visit, leave? Eat dinner? 

I was not at all sleepy/needing a rest so I changed into shorts and a t-shirt, strapped on the sneakers, went to the gym. I got in a fast walk, not a run, still in pain in the knees but it was pretty good. 

The treadmill wanted me to program in things, and I entered 1mph to start but somehow, she went fast. Oh shit, not again! Not another Treadmilltastrophe! 

I pulled the emergency stop cord. Not again today, Satan.

This is a really old LifeCycle treadmill and I did not like it. Rattley, bumpy, sticky handles. Meh. That's going in my hotel review. ha. I am spoiled by my own treadmill (even if it tries to kill me) and the one at the hotel by my mom's house. Super top of the line machine. 

We headed over to the cousin and thought they locked the doors at 8pm. They lock them at 6pm, and we were there at 5:45pm. Front desk lady lectured us that we'd have 15 minutes to visit. I thought that was fair for Saturday night, and we'd come back for a long visit on Sunday. Get an early start. 

John had other ideas. He was asleep all afternoon so he didn't see/read my texts, but when we got there he was ready to go. GO. Wanted out. Wanted to go out to dinner. He was raring to go, fired up. 

"There's a mexican restaurant upstairs we're going to go to," he says. 

"There is no upstairs here in the building," I answered. 

"Yes there is, I'll show you where." We checked him out and they said to just come to the side door when we got back, and call the desk, someone would come open up for us. 

What upstairs meant was up the street, we drive past it all the time when we come down. Several times he had difficulty finding the words for things or staying on track for discussion. Doug likes to get him to talk about hockey.

Observations: he looks pretty good, to be honest. Really thin, obviously. But for someone who just broke his femur a few weeks back, he's getting around okay. Slower than before, a lot more careful. In pain but not freaking out over it. He was incredibly happy to be out. Chatty but also distracted. In good spirits overall.

We went over to the grocery store to pick a few things up. I had offered to shop for him and get anything he needed but he wanted to go to the market. Sure thing bro. It was raining, not pouring but also not insignificant. I ran his wheelchair over to the market across the parking lot and Doug drove the car over. We figured it would be faster to do it this way instead of 5 minutes to get in and out of the car for a 30 second drive. 

He picked up what he needed and Doug & I got some beer (the great thing about supermarkets in Virginia... beer and wine!) 

And sure enough, we got back to the facility. Before we had left I asked the nurse what the phone number directly to the nurses' station was because I only had the main number in my phone. He insisted he had it, don't worry, I'll call or give you the number. I told him that the last time we took him out and got back after hours, he gave me a wrong number and I called some lady's house. Nope. Not gonna happen again. He had it saved in his phone. 

You don't fight back on some things, right? In this case I should have. He of course didn't have the number saved, he didn't know what it was. The nurse told me it ended with 0009, so I had the main desk number in my phone, and just changed the last number to a 9 while he was scrolling through his phone back to February to find the number. 

I called, Doug got him in his chair, I walked to the door to meet the nurse, done. And he seemed surprised, "I didn't give you the number yet." But oh, John. I'm a step ahead of you sometimes. 

We got him inside and he was cold and shaking. He had been in such a hurry to get out of the facility he didn't grab a jacket and told me I didn't have to go back in and get him one, while Doug was getting him in the car. I helped him change into warmer clothing, got his wet stuff into the laundry, and got him settled into bed. 

The plan was for the next day that we'd come over between 11 and noon, and take him out to do his laundry. He won't let the facility do his laundry. He said they've ruined things and stuff has gone missing. So he has signs ALL OVER saying that the laundry service cannot touch his stuff. I'd noticed the basket was very full, and he said a friend usually comes over to get him to take him to the laundry but that friend hadn't been by recently. So I offered for us to take him. 

He texted and called me 3 times after 9pm, verifying that we'd be there between 11 and 12, that yes we are going to do the laundry, that yes, we will be there between 11 and 12. He also texted my sister questions about when she was coming by. He must have mentioned three times on Saturday that Linda was coming by too. 

Nope. Linda is in New York. Not sure when Linda can make it back down, but if she does, i'll be with her. So. Not on this trip. 

There were tears when I left. I held his hands and patted him on the head. I told him we'd be back in the morning. I really wanted to just go at this point, but I knew he wanted me to stay. It was late and it was a long day. Tomorrow, see you tomorrow.

Sunday we got ourselves up, caffeinated, Doug was showering and I thought I'd go to the treadmill and then said "meh" on that. More coffee. We got to his facility at 11:54am, and he was blowing up my phone wondering where we were.  Sometimes, this is just like my mom. And it gets frustrating to constantly be followed up on, or bothered, or whatever. But I just breathe and try to accept the fact there are different things going on here, and let it go. 

He was ready to go when we got there, so we grabbed his laundry and piled into the car. He kept saying the laundry was by the high school but fuck all if the high school does not have a goddamn sign on the road saying it's a high school. It looks like a damn manufacturing facility with no windows facing the main drag, so we blasted past it. He didn't know the address, he didn't know the name of the laundry, and he kept telling us it was coming up. I put it into Google Maps with "high school near me" and told Doug it was a mile behind us. John disagreed, Doug turned around and sure enough, there she was. 

We pulled into the street and the laundry was right there. Found you, ya bitch.

We were there a little over 90 minutes.

Observations: Plan on going over earlier in the day to get things done and out of the way instead of just doing things Doug & Chris Style. If I had been solo, I would have gone over at like 9. Eat breakfast, stupids, so you're not fucking hangry by 2pm. Eat lunch first before going to the laundry. When someone says "let's go to lunch at XYZ place after laundry," find out how far away that place is. Also, when someone says let's go to lunch at XYZ place, know they have an ulterior motive on why they want to go there, and be open to it, not question why the fuck we're driving 40 minutes to go have lunch. Trust the GPS and not Miss Daisy in the front seat who tells you where to turn and where to go because it is their town and they know it better than your GPS (sound familiar, Linda?) 

We got to the lunch place close to 3pm, Doug and I were both just feeling the grump. We drove by 900 places to eat but J's friends are always at this place on Sunday afternoons, and he knew they'd be there, and wanted to see them. I guess they don't come visit often enough. They were .... honestly? Surprised to see him when we rolled up. They were outside having a smoke and said "oh... hi." and when we got inside they went back to their table in the way back and didn't join us. I think John was hurt. 

One of them bought our first round though. I texted him to thank him "I wasn't gonna drink but hey! Thanks for permission!" The other guy came over and sat with us for a while, and we talked a lot. He's a character for sure. John was very very happy to be sitting with him, and talking shit about stuff. It truly was a lot of fun. He's a great guy, and I told him I've been listening to his partner's band a lot lately which he told me he'd let him know. It's pretty decent stuff. 

We figured we needed to hit the road, so we brought J back to "Prison" and got the laundry inside. There was a comedy of errors when we heard something all on the floor and we couldn't find it but we also didn't know what it was, and couldn't see anything obvious. And then we realized he couldn't find his reading glasses. 

But. Where were they? 

John raised his bed up as far as it would go and the bars underneath moved and there they were. When the bed was low, he asked me if I could see anything, and I said "nothing except the fact these people need to do a better job sweeping under your bed or some shit." 

Glasses secured, laundry stowed, hockey hat and pillow handy, a few tears. And we were off. 

The trip home was great until we got to about Stafford-ish, and we bailed to take Rte 1 up to Fredericksburg, to hit 17, and do the backroads again. It always feels like it is faster going down than coming home. But again, it is pretty going this route. There are a couple ways we can go, a straight-through higway thing of 17 to 66 to 81, or you can bail off 66 and do some backroads through Delaplane until you get to Winchester and 81. Maybe it is a little further but she sure is pretty out there. 

Happy to get home, missed my dog, my son, my house, my life. 

The next drama concerns mom, but I'll save that for the Monday night (today) entry. 

I took zero pictures. Digits below and I don't remember what all my glucose readings were, but will just publish without going to get them. Maybe I'll fill them in later. 

Saturday digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. missed 1 hour in the car. Treadmill, 20 min/1.31 mi. Fitbit measured our walk around the used furniture store as an exercise walk (hilarious). .44mi/17 min. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 143
xpm: x
xpm: x

food & meds:

9am: jardiance (phentermine on order)
11:15am: english muffin w/pb
4pm: met+glip
6pm: shrimp quesadilla w/side salad; 2 margaritas, super light on the tequilla. Shoulda asked for a float.
8pm: met+glip

Sunday digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. missed 2 hours in the car. Treadmill: 18 min/1.26 mi (just to get to 10k steps). 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: x
n/apm: x
xpm: x

food & meds:

9am: jardiance (phentermine on order)
3pm: met+glip
4pm: cheeseburger on small side salad w/coleslaw; 2 beers
6pm: Beernutz Cashews and some M&Ms; zero sugar powerade (thank you Sheetz)
9pm: met+glip; apples, cheese chunks, crackers, pb

Ouchies

Last night I didn't sleep at all well. My right knee couldn't bend comfortably. I put bandaids on my left knee where it got belt sanded just so nothing could hurt it if something brushed against it. Both my hips hurt. I bruised under my right arm pit. 

Just absolutely sore all night. I took tylenol around 8pm, up again at 4 and took some more. Finally fell asleep. 

That was a brutal tumble. Nowhere near as bad as last summer's fall at camp but. Ouch. 

The right knee is pretty good if I keep it rather perfectly straight. Bending is when it is a problem. I did manage to get on the treadmill, and watched some video podcasts of MBMBAM and that helped pass the time. I thought about going the half hour even at my snail's pace but dinner was ready.

Hoping tonight is a little more restful. 

Because I spent a great deal of time on my butt today, I was incredibly short on steps. That's why I did the treadmill. And then after dinner went out again. Toffee needed a walk so I wanted to make sure she got one. 

Doug is watching all the hockey. All of it. I love all the hockey but I need to get a walk. He indicated he wanted to go with me but then passed. 

Tomorrow we're going to see my cousin down in RVA. He's feeling kind of super blue, and asked for our company. I'll see if Doug can remember to bring the hair clippers, in case he wants a haircut. Neither of us can do a "good" haircut like you get at a barber but heck, we can at least cut it if it is getting way too long. 

I thought for sure today I wouldn't make the 10k+ steps but Toffee needed a walk, and I took her, and we had a nice time.

So tired. No picture today. Just digits.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Slow roll treadmill walk; 1.07 mi/25 min; Walk with Toffee, .80 mi/20 min. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:15am: 146
4:45pm: 139
10pm: 135

food & meds:

8:15am: jardiance+phentermine
protein shake mixed in coffee
1:15: bowl of mac&cheese w/a lot of hamburger and extra cheese; met+glip
6:30pm: bowl of meatballs, no bun
7pm: met+glip
no alcohol

Jane! Stop this Crazy Thing!

Oh I had a whole entry about being up early because of the trash guys, and how the training went super well. Geoff made a really good dinner but forgot protein so my blood sugar is stupid. But. All told, everything was great. 

Until. 

I got on the treadmill at 7. I was way behind on steps for the day overall, so I knew I had to go a full half hour. Which I did. But it was a slower pace. Not quite 2 miles in the half hour. But yeah. Alright. I did pretty good and would make 10k by bedtime. 

The treadmill was set at 2.8 mph, I can run or walk fast at that pace. Slow down if I can't keep the pace up on "Whip It," and pick up and run again. 

I hit stop. She didn't stop, so I hit it again. The display said "Press and Hold Stop to end workout." I did just that. Bitch still wouldn't stop. 

Right then, you know when something isn't right and your brain isn't quite knowing the perfect thing to do (ie: slow the treadmill down to .5? Pull the emergency stop switch?) That's where my brain was. 

So I held on to the hand rail and stepped my right foot onto the side of the treadmill. But I didn't immediately lift the left to do the same thing. My left foot was pretty happy on the belt. 

And my body started to go two different directions at once. I went down on my knee, but remember, I'm holding onto the handrail. And my knee is getting belt sanded. 

I scream for help. No one comes. I know Doug is in the living room, Geoff comes running from downstairs. 

I let go of the hand rail and now I'm in a heap at the foot of the treadmill. 

And that fucking belt is still going at 3mph. 

Geoff goes to try and help me up and I said to hang on, I want Doug to come here, and see what this infernal machine has done to his wife. Eventually he comes in, and asks, "What happened?"

I tell him.

He walks over to the treadmill and pulls the emergency stop.

"Oh," I said, "I didn't even think of that." 

I managed to get myself off the floor cursing that stupid piece of shit mother fucking asshole treadmill. 

"BITCH I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" 

And of course I immediately call Linda who sends me an animated gif of George Jetson walking Astro on the dog walk treadmill outside their space apartment. 

This is what I felt like.

I got ice for my left knee, the one that got belt sanded. I thought about a strong vodka tonic but I passed on it. I watched hockey. I came up to bed. 

Not how I wanted to end my evening to be honest. I actually said "I should take Toffee for a walk, but. ..." and did the treadmill instead. In my mind I play "It could be worse" and what could have been worse is I took Toffee for a walk and we got run over by a car. Or she sees that cat and acts like Astro in the animated gif and I get pulled down on my face. I lose teeth. I break bones. There could be bears.

Off to bed. A better and less stumbly day tomorrow. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 1.93 mi/30 min; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:15am: 130
4:15pm: 136
10pm: one finger is 215, the other finger is 149. 

food & meds:

8:15am: jardiance+phentermine
1:45pm: slab of left over pork loin. Met+glip
6:30pm: Bowl of Geoff Fried Rice (not enough protein)
8pm: met+glip
no alcohol 

Barf

I finished work a little before 5 and Geoff had just fed Toffee. I set my laptop and lil'lap desk on the floor, she was on the couch beside me. 

And she barfed. 

Absolutely puked up the dinner she just ate. And it is so weird, it's just a cup of dog food but it seemed like 8 cups of dog food. And of course it stinks. So gross. 

I try to get her off the couch, but she starts eating her own barf. Naturally. Like dogs do. 

And well. 

I let her. I let her eat her dog barf because it was mostly pretty freshly eaten food. If I just sent her out, without letting her "take seconds" I wasn't about to feed her another cup so she could do it again. 

Geoff was kind of laughing and said "well that's a problem solving itself." 

Note, she has not puked again so I hope none of that will come back to haunt me. Doug told me that the Bible talks about dogs returning to their vomit and I just stared at him. I do not remember any of that in the Bible. 

He said "yeah, like a dog returns to its vomit a fool does the same thing over and over. You should look it up. It is great sermon fodder for someone to make someone feel super guilty about their sins." For the record, I did look it up. 

File that under "Today I Learned" or TIL like the kids say. Here, you can read it too if you want. 

Today was busy. 

First thing, super early, video meeting with one of the devs. They're oversea so by the time we're online, they're basically done for the day. I agreed to meet with this guy because he wsa confused about something. Glad we met. He then asked me two or three other questions, and we figured some stuff out together. 

My boss and I had our weekly 1:1, and he had made a discovery about a function in the product that is not doing what it says it is supposed to do, and, is not doing what the old product used to do, and it is something people are going to notice and freak out over. So he demoed it for me, we made a recording of it to give the devs. We'll skip doing that in our training until it is fixed! 

I went to do a treadmill walk after the aforementioned dog puked, and after I cleaned it up, and after I used the upholstery shampoo machine (which now I need to clean and put away but I don't feel like dealing with that now). 

My ear buds wouldn't connect to my phone, because the laptop would not relinquish control of them and I didn't want to shut her down. I knew I'd becoming back to do more work. Jerk. 

 I was already ON the treadmill so I did not want to start over. I decided to attach to the portable speaker, which was great for part of a song before the speaker died. Doug had used it, and didn't put it back on a charger. 

He may know scripture but I know (in fact, I may be obsessed) to put shit on the charger when you're done using it if you LOOK at the battery level and it is RED.

Harumph. 

...then, I realized I didn't start my fitbit to tracking the walk. I'd been on the treadmill for a few minutes, and didn't want to stop and reset so I just walked until the fitbit said 20 minutes. 

I worked late catching up on tickets, and organizing some complaints to take to the dev team. Work son is going to put those in the dev ticketing board. We had a nice meeting to go over some of the reports and see what the haps were. 

Tomorrow! busy day. We have our first training with actual live human clients. My boss and I will be doing it together. There's 90 minutes on the books and our solo training that we did without human students was 40 minutes. I think we'll need 60 for sure. Not sure they'll be asking 40 minutes worth of questions. 

I'm looking forward to it. Feeling prepared and ready, except for bugs we keep discovering or getting reported to us. It's a good thing our developers are super responsive. They're kicking ass. 

Alright. Bedtime. Digits below! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Treadmill run, 20 min on the fitbit, 1.2 mi. probably more like 23 min, 1.4 mi.  but who's counting. I don't have to track things accurately anymore now that the challenge is over. 10+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

7:15am: 113
5pm: 108
10:30pm: 167

food & meds:

7:15am: jardiance+phentermine
10:30am: english muffin w/pb and zero sugar j
2pm: greek yogurt+crushed granola bar; met+glip
6pm: pasta fra diavlo w/chicken a la Geoff. met+glip
8:30pm: ramekin mixed nuts
no alcohol

Frosty but a 5k

After I published the entry last night, Doug noted we were under a freeze warning, not a frost advisory, but an actual holy shit ... freeze. 

Oy. Our plants. Farmer Chris' plants. We set to bringing them in. They're all doing so well, he and I were both actually concerned with the possibility of things dying. The pansies are frost tolerant, they would have done okay. But still. We didn't want to lose them. 

He said we didn't make a mistake and go too early with the plants, news about the local weather said this is literally an unheard of thing at this time of year. 

And tomorrow it'll be 80 again. 

So all the plants stayed indoors last night. Geoff was very confused because he had no idea this happened. This is what happens if you go to bed before mom and dad.

It was indeed very cold last night. Upstairs was chilly, so the blankets I put away were trotted back out. And they'll go back today because now it is hot up there again. 

I woke up around 3am and went downstairs. Big blankets down there. Cozy and curled up with Toffee, I slept incredibly well. So well that I turned off my alarm and slept until almost 9:30am. Oooops. 

After the morning meetings and a website launch that didn't exactly go well, I needed a break. I watered all the plants that were inside and I took them back out, except the giant ones.

 Doug has to lift those up. They are still in the living room. 

Everyone else went back where they belong. 

Work was insanely busy after that, as we are starting to get user feedback from people beyond our initial test clients. I answered more helpdesk tickets today than I have in a year. 

Doug also had a very busy work day. He worked until almost 8 when I finished at 6. I got on the treadmill and decided instead of music I'd watch this video podcast of Bullseye with Jesse Thorn, with him interviewing Griffin McElroy. It was delightful. And I was about 30 or so minutes into it and realized I could just keep going, and do a 5k. 

So I did. 

I probably could have gone faster with music, as was I tried to keep to 14 min or under, and that didn't work, so I just did it. 

I had signed up for a virtual 5k for a fundraiser and the 25th is the deadline, so I'm glad I got this checked off. 

Another fun day tomorrow, I have a 9 am meeting with one of the devs in Europe because that's their 4pm. I have another meeting at 4:30pm with the work son to go over the reports of bugs and things from the clients. 

Wish me luck! 

Here are some plants. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Treadmill run, 5k, 3.11 mi/45 min. 12k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:

9:30am: 154
4:45pm: 80
10:30pm: 124

food & meds:

9:30am: jardiance+phentermine
protein shake mixed with coffee through the morning
1:15pm: ramekin of tuna salad w/celery; Met+glip
4:45pm: ritz crackers and pb 
7pm: chicken parm
8pm: met+glip
no alcohol