Tuesday, March 19, 2002

How Ozzy saved my musical taste

Apologies first off: If you were completely offended by my last entry and my excerpts of those emails which I've been blessed with, I am truly sorry.

But, most have written (I've gotten five emails from real humans today) to laugh their asses off at my pain and suffering. Including my darling sister who BWAAAAAAA!!!!!!ed at me saying "I never thought I'd hear you utter that phrase!" [referring to 'cum bus,' of course].

Well I didn't utter it. I typed it. And I had to so you'd understand what I was talking about. And the impact of me putting it in print seems to go a long way. I'm much better now. Thank you for allowing me to rant and get that off of my chest. Feel free to notify Diarist.Net to let them know that it was the rant of the year or something if you truly, truly liked it. I don't get to rant that much. And most of the rants tend to be politically centered against one party or another, so this would be different.

Secondly, I am so happy to see Shelley back online, special congrats to her and M on their 7th year together. She was absent for quite a few weeks due to host problems... I checked her site daily to see if it was up, and lo and behold yesterday evening there it was. I'd just kind of accepted that she wasn't posting anymore or was on super long term hiatus, and wasn't going to check anymore.

Like Taunia, I confess: I am an addict. I kept checking. And now I've gotten my fix. Whew!!!

Shelley wrote in her entry yesterday about how she enjoys the Osbournes, the new "show" on MTV. I had meant to do so but haven't had time, what with all the ranting on the crap emails I get, so I'll follow on her coat tails... why the hell not.

I have watched both episodes and I'm not sure yet how I feel about it. I need more time with it to decide.

The first episode did make me laugh a bit. They're moving into this huge house bedecked with crosses on every surface, beautiful furniture, tons of space. Kids acting like shitheads, movers breaking stuff so Sharon would swear like a syphillis-riddled sailor. Ozzy mumbling and pacing and walking around looking completely stunned by the magnitude of it all. It was a very peculiar show.

The second installment, focusing on the dog shitting problems, totally made me laugh heartily at times. Ozzy yells at his wife that they don't need a dog trainer, she just needs to get up in the morning and open the [bleep]ing door, and he motions how to do it. He said it three times, for effect and the fact that he mumbles so the three times put together you manage to figure out what the [bleep] he's [bleep]ing saying.

There is a lot of bleeping in that house.

I am actually worried about Ozzy. He seems so old and addled, shaking and zombified as he walks around his house yelling swears at his kids, wife, 90 dogs and cats, and various housemartins and layabouts.

I remember an interview I heard with him about 10 years ago which Doug and I still reference when dealing with our children's wild moments. Ozzy said that he takes the family with him on tour, and instead of waking up in the morning being hit by a flying vodka bottle these days, he's hit in the head by a five year old boy (Jack) throwing a stale croissant. "The life of the aging rock star," Ozzy sighs. So we say that once in a while when feeling the exact same way.

I think his wife is a riot though. The fact that she has stayed with him for so long, is his manager, his best friend, and just an all around general ass kicker with a pretty English mum's face simply slays me. She rules.

When I was about 10 or 11, my neighbor Bob loaned me a copy of Black Sabbath's "Paranoid." Up until that point I was totally into disco (stop your laughing. What do you expect. It was the 70s.. I liked the Bee Gees, Donna Summer, and that ilk. Not that there is anything wrong with that... I was listening to the popular music of the time. I put the album on my turn table and was blown away. "War Pigs," "Iron Man," "Paranoid"... this music, these songs, were fabulous! I was sold. A convert to metal. Disco Sucks! Disco Sucks!

That first exposure to Sabbath's "Paranoid" turned me on to Rainbow, Genesis, Yes, King Crimson and eventually Metallica a few years later. And in going those routes, I discovered Molly Hatchet, Allman Brothers, the Outlaws, Marshall Tucker, the Grateful Dead...

I can honestly say, "Paranoid" saved my ears.

I owe Bob a thanks. I got away from listening to Sabbath and Rainbow and stuff like that when some of the music got just too dark for me to listen to... And I was honestly scared by some of the artwork on their late 70s/early 80s albums and the resulting solo career embarked upon by Mr. Osbourne. Ozzy got more and more into his act as a metal demi-god, and aside from a few big radio hits like "Crazy Train," I didn't listen to metal so much. But they planted the rock and roll demon seed in me baby. I owe him some props.

As a grownup, I have this peculiar interest to see how someone like Ozzy has finally grown up.... having survived so much self abuse. He has responsibilities, his kids, and has a life that no longer includes getting bashed in the head by flying vodka bottles.

More power to him, and God bless them one and all.

We didn't get nearly as much snow as Tess did, but it snowed up a bunch of flurries which combined together put about 3 inches of the fluffy white stuff down just in time for the first day of spring tomorrow. (by the way, Tess, nice nod to the TPS reports in the 3/18 entry! BWAAAA! I laughed. Office Space references always kill me).

My daughter was irritated that she didn't have school cancellation today. She'll survive. Plus, they had no snow days this year, just 2 delayed starts, so it'll be good for school finishing up at a decent time (June 11, her birthday). Snow days push that back farther and farther until they may as well just stay in school all damn year.

Today is a busy day. It is my last day here at the homestead before my one week trip off site. I have to:

  • finish laundry
  • pack stuff, first for my family to overnight to NY, then for me to have a weeks worth of crapola to travel with
  • clean up stuff and have the place relatively tidy so that they can wreck it in total for me to reclean again
  • pack my plane ticket in my stuff
  • find a good book, we've got many. I may take some P.G. Wodehouse with me... that might be fun to read aloud while we drive (while I ride, she drives... we shall see)
  • get the discman today from ben
  • finish the 2 sites i'm working on... HA! not going to happen, may happen a little, but...
  • take dog to kennel
  • mail all the bills I just filled out, and put the others in order so they can be mailed out later in the week/beginning of next
  • make sure Geoff has something nice to wear for school pictures on Thursday
  • find Geoff's glasses, somewhere in the yard, AGAIN. I swear, he will not be allowed to wear his glasses out in the yard anymore. I don't know why this happens...

It isn't a lot to do, but it is when you'd rather watch Jerry Springer and eat ring dings.

So this entry is to just say so long for a couple days. I will have access to email here and there, feel free to drop a line. But my next entry will not be until at least a week from tomorrow, if not later

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