Well, it's wednesday morning. About 1am. I'm posting this quickly as I really need to be getting my ass to bed. I have folded all the laundry, the pile to go in the duffel is on the couch. I may tuck it all in after I get offa here, but I may wait until morning.
At 7am, I need to be up and moving. Getting everything finalized for our trip. I have to find Geoff's swimsuit. My swimsuit. The computer is shitting the bed and isn't letting Doug download mapping coordinates for the GPS for Western PA. He's asked me to look into it, but in all honesty, fuck all -- it isn't anything I can fucking fix. Our computer sucks ass hardcore, and there's not a stitch of hope for the shitter.
I'm tired. Can you tell? Yeah. I get a tad profane when I'm pushing the rock up the hill and am feeling cranky. I have other reasons...
Seeing as it is Wednesday, I may as well tell you about Tuesday.
I got up early and finished Aaron's latest web project. He called me tonight and said "I'm giving up Christianity and worshiping YOU." Which made me feel good. He had me add something to his website, and it kicks ass. It took me about 10 total hours, he did all the "real" work, but the website is nice. Science teachers across America should worship me. Too bad only Aaron does. That took a shit ton of time. After I finished his stuff, we took a break and went to pick up some money from the dart people. About $50 less than I expected. But. I'm not yellin'. I'm just happy to have a check -- any check -- after the amount of work I've done.
I'm a goddess...I'm proud of me this afternoon.
We got home and I saw that a geocache in the area that I've been waiting for got approved. Geoff and I ran over, leaving Jessica here. She didn't want to come, even though it'd be a quick easy in-easy out. Geoff was more than willing, and we found the cache no problem. In fact, it was our very first "First to find," which in Geocaching circles means you were... duh, the first to find the cache.
We took a picture with the camera in the cache, packed it up and started walking back to the truck across the baseball field. I was watching the little league team, and then I stood and watched a woman teach her kid how to field a grounder. Baseball was in the air. It was intoxicating.
I guess that's why what happened next happened.
I turned around to ask Geoff if he wanted to play baseball. I was inspired by the mom and the kid.
There was
no
geoffrey.
?? ??
.....
none.
No Geoffrey behind me. No Geoffrey in sight.
no.
Geoffrey.
I was slightly confused. I looked around. I looked at the playground. No Geoffrey. I looked at the ballfield thinking he'd invited himself up on to play. No. Geoff.Rey. No. Where is he?
So I start calling him, and I'm lookin' everyfuckingwhere.
I cannot find him. I run back to the geocache location. No ..Geo.ff.re.y. No sign of him. Holy shit. The little league starts laps around the field. I'm standing in the middle of the field. They're jogging around me and I'm yelling for him. I look like an ass. I'm ... Dizzy. Confused. I run to the coach and ask "Can you help me please, I lost my son."
I lost my son.
In a city park.
I have been in the mountains, on the ocean, in deep woods with him and I've never lost him. We're less than 3 miles from home and I've lost my son on the Merrimack River in a huge public park. Oh. My. God. Please. No.
Where is he?
The coach? He's a cop. He's on his Nextel phone to the station while someone else hands me their cell phone to call 911. I talk to the dispatcher. Two cruisers are dispatched.
Everyone in this park now knows Geoffrey is wearing a grey striped shirt, navy blue cut off sweat-shorts, brown sneakers, white "And-1" socks, has blonde hair and glasses. The coach sends his team to run into the woods to look. The coach is on his Nextel. He is telling me to watch for the cruiser as he runs into the woods with the boys to look.
There's the river.
Geoff can't swim.
I'm.
Freaking.
Out.
I run back to the truck to see if he's there waiting for me. No. I run to the swings. No. I run to two other ball fields. No. I run to the playground.
No.
The officers show up. I've got drymouth. I'm hyperventilating. I'm wondering if I should cry or hold my shit together.
They ask again for his description. One is talking to me while the other is radioing the description to the world. He is fat. He has on two gold necklaces and sunglasses. One necklace is a gold cross. He's very Italian. The other one is more Irish. He's got a shaved head. He's reassuring me.
The ball team comes back. No dice. No sign of him.
They... resume practice. I'm like "NO." Go help me find him. You're young, you guys can run, stop field ing grou n ders. Holy shit where is my kid.
Italian Cop tells me to run over to a field I've not visited. He starts walking to the river with his partner. I hear radio transmissions. I hear... static. I hear my heart. I think of a coffin. I think "All this shit, all this bullshit just to be a first to find a fucking GEOCACHE!!!???" I think, would it be better if I start crying now or should I not cry. Will they think less of me.
Where the hell is my kid?????!!!!!
The cop calls to me, I run back. He's on the radio. They found Geoff. He's at the bridge between towns. He's walking home. The conservation commission officer found him. He saw him walking up the road with a stick. "Hey, are you Geoff?" he asks.
"Yes!" answers a happy Geoffapillar.
"Your mom is looking for you," He's got his lights on, stopped traffic, as my son is about to walk from one jurisdiction to another. "Go over to that gas station so I can call her."
I was standing there as the conservation commission officer confirmed Geoff was there at the Citgo station, I fall on my knees ready to pass out and the cops ask me if I'm okay to drive my own vehicle. I need a glass of water, but yes -- I'm alright. My son isn't floating face down in the Merrimack and I'm going to drive over there and ... hug him.
The cops and I both jumped in our vehicles. They questioned him before I got there, and by the time I reached him they were laughing with him.
"Dude, you scared me so badly!" I tell him.
"Oh, sorry. There you are! I was going home..." he tells me as he gets cuddly and sweet in my lap.
I'm ready to lose my shit in front of the officers. I'm seriously freaking out. They had bought him a bottled water. I made him say thank you to the officers. I thanked the officers.
What happened is this:
Geoff was behind me. About 10 paces. I was walking slowly, watching the world. I always figured he was right there... right behind me. Watching the world too. He was. He just sees the world totally differently than I do.
He told me that he didn't know where I was, even though I was right in front of him. He didn't "recognize" me... which may be part of this whole learning disability thing. When he didn't see me, he decided that I'd left, and I'd gone home. And he should go home too. His intention was to walk home. He told the cops exactly how to get to his house, knew our address, knew his phone number... knew everything.
I told him after we'd found the geocache that we'd take a nice walk. When I talked to him later, he said he didn't think the park was nice for a walk, and that a walk home would be nicer. He knew the way, blow by blow, he knows the direction home. And he set off that way, crossing a hugely dangerous parking lot and getting ready to cross the busiest bridge on planet earth.
"Let's never get separated again, and lets never speak of this again, okay?" says Geoff to me in the truck as we're heading home.
We have spoken of it, we've spoken at length of it. We'll continue to speak at length of it.
I've taken him off his meds for vacation time to give him "a break," as the doctors say. I wasn't going to give them to him until Thursday when we're in Pennsylvania at Doug's folks.
He's going back on tomorrow. Attention Deficit is worse than I figured.
When we get home from vacation, I'm going back to the ballfield. I'm finding the team. I'm giving them gift certificates to the local Ice Cream stand. I'm saying thanks. I'm bringing Geoff.
To say thanks.
On.
A.
Leash.
We had a campfire tonight. It felt good to sit with him, Geofflove... on the ground in front, burning wood, feeling the heat, feeling the warmth, letting his weight put my legs to sleep as I sat Indian Style... so happy to have him there. Relief.
And putting things on the fire. Can you smell the smoke? (thank you Ben Folds...)
Anyway -- I need to get to bed. We're tired here. I have to have the dogs in the truck at 8am, on the way to the kennel. I have to finish packing. Dishes that I didn't finish tonight due to the Geoff Adventures.
I drank some vodka. I'm feeling happy and cool and relaxed. I need to sleep.
More back at you peeps next Monday. Until then, keep an eye on the short kids that follow you, and keep Geoff in your constant prayers.
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