Monday, December 03, 2007

French Toast Alert System

You few long-time readers (all four of you) know how the media makes my head explode when there is a weather-related story, especially when snow is in the forecast.

I've written here many times about the "abandon all hope" wails from the well-coiffed Cassandras on the news desk. Last week they began to forecast a storm and it was "oh my GOD there are still LEAVES on the TREES and they will be pulled down onto your house and powerlines and millions will die!"

I'm disappointed because there are still leaves on my lawn... screw the leaves on the trees. That's lame to have snow on top of your lawn leaves. Gah.

Anyway, the storm started last night around 9pm ish (in these parts). The trucks started salting and sanding about seven hours before the storm came. I bet my town has used its entire winter snow removal budget already. For four inches of snow. God help us all when we get five inches. We currently have about 4.

Anyway, back to the media. They whip general population up into a frenzy and all the little old ladies run to the store and buy all the milk, bread and eggs. Like no cow will ever have her teet mechanically squeezed again, no farmers will exist to go to the hen house and pick up eggs (because, they're all frozen to death in their farmhouses... of course) and all the bakers died in horrible spin out accidents on the highway going to the bakery.

I've also noticed all the toilet paper gets bought too. But that doesn't fit into the new web tool I'd like to draw your attention to this morning. Over at Universal Hub, our boy Adam has launched the French Toast Alert System.

Boston French Toast Alert: Green

The French Toast Alert System serves to warn you when you need to get your ass to the store and start buying those aforementioned essensials (there is no mention of TP in the alert system, but be sure to grab four 24 packs, you know... just in case).

Unfortunately, this is not a nation wide alert system, so my readers in Nebraska and California and possibly even Rhode Island will not benefit from this. But.... readers in the immediate Boston area will be able to be alerted in case of extreme french toast situations.

I had always used Kent Brockman's "Category Four Kill Storm" as my gauge for levels of freakingoutness when storms were coming (for an example, see this entry from February 2006 where I go to the market, and trust I've written about 10 of these very similar entries over the last 7 years. I need to find the one where I talk about piling up the bodies of your dead neighbors who tried to break into your house and steal your french toast makings) but I think I am now going to adapt the French Toast system, so I'm on the same page with all other Boston Area bloggers. After all, one person's Category Four Kill Storm is another's Category Six... so we need to standardize our warnings.

My kids have a two hour delay today, so I'm up at my usual time. Geoff got up at 6 and got in the shower before I could tell him that he didn't NEED to be up and showered and ready... but he's just that way. He's already gone out and played in the snow for 20 minutes with the dog, and I think I may send him out with the scraper to clear off my car in about an hour.

A 2 hour delay is worse than a school closing for me personally, because Geoff would be unattended for an hour and a half by himself once Jess left the house. I can't necessarily abandon him, so I'm sticking around this morning and will probably see if my neighbor can take him in for an hour so I can actually leave for work and get there before lunch time.

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