Monday, January 07, 2008

Happy Birthday, Geoffman!

"Can I redo this system? Please?
I can make it better. It would include bungee jumping."
-Jess on the Iowa Caucuses

This is just a quick update to let you know I didn't skid off rte 68 between Beaver and Zelienople and die, or plummet off the Mt. Washington Overlook in Pittsburgh. We enjoyed a nice trip out there, and upon return home I just have not felt motivated to write. Plus, today is Geoff's 11th birthday, and that's something to write home about after all, when you think about it.

For short-time readers, you can learn more about Geoff's almost early arrival in November 1996 and the adventures that followed in this entry. For you long timers, and some of you were there holding my hand through the process 11 years ago, you know the tale and are an important part of The Boy's life. Thanks for being there for him and for me all these years.

Geoff, in his utter exuberance, woke the entire house up at about 6:10 this morning singing at the top of his lungs "It's my birthday! I can boss everyone around! It's my birthday! I am the king!"

It made me somewhat long for the days when he couldn't yet speak on his birthday, but it also made me laugh. Doug and I were in the bedroom chuckling to ourselves as Mister Birthday King Ruler Emperor Supreme marched his happy ass into the bathroom to take a shower. I made him breakfast (sesame seed bagel and a cup of hot chocolate) and have only had to lecture him twice this morning about his attitude. The world isn't going to bow down and worship him because it is his birthday; he's only going to piss people off and get in trouble... special day or not.

Wait. I need more coffee. Hang on. Okay, that's better. Where were we? Right. Geoff. Birthday. (Ugh. I'm tired. I stayed up excessively late reading on the futon here in the study, and morning came too soon today in the form of a boisterous 11 year old).

Geoff told me just now that he wants pizza for his birthday, and that he wants to go out to a restaurant, which leaves precious few options. So he narrowed it down to Bertuccis and that's where we'll go. He's easy to please. Pizza. Alright.

Oh -- today's quote is from Jess and a recent rant she went on regarding politics.

She has been annoyed and overwhelmed (as most normal American non-political junkie types are) by the very first primary season since SHE was 11 or so... and what little good humor regarding politics that she once had has flown out the window.

The entire Caucus thing had her head exploding. She couldn't figure out what the hell was going on as we watched people frantically waving their arms and screaming at fellow caucusers to come over and join their corner. She doesn't understand (like 90% of the country, or at least any states that don't Caucus) WHY ON EARTH ANYONE STILL DOES THINGS THIS WAY!

"Why don't they just have a primary?! Why can't they just have people go in, vote, and have it over with? What is with the screaming? What is with the arm flapping? What, on earth, is with second choices?"

(boom!) Jess' head explodes.

So in her frustration with watching the news, and listening to the pundits and trying to understand how all this works, she basically decided that if they aren't going to primary, well then Caucuses have to change to keep up with modern times.

"They need to involve physical challenges and feats of strength, and math!" yells Jess. "You get points when you can throw a javelin, measure it in feet, convert it to yards and without using a chart or calculator do the conversion to metric!"

She is giddy with imaginative excitement at this point.

So I guess it would go like this. Republicans! John McCain says Oh! I threw my javelin 30 feet, so that is 10 yards, 9.15 meters! And that gets him 30 points, 10 for throwing 10 for measuring and converting to yards, and 10 for converting to metric. Mitt Romney comes in and throws his 40 feet, and can't even convert to yards! Oh no, Loser! heh. So he gets 10 points for throwing, and no points for converting his measurements!

The best part is when Jess said ...

"And then, they bungee jump off a really high bridge..."

Jess may be on to something. For further reading on Caucus in American Revolutionary History, should you be interested, click here, here, and here.

And please note, the term Corkass made me laugh.

And on that note, I'm going to get ready for work. I've got more to write about, from our trip to view Pittsburgh from Mt. Washington overlook to a day with the little cousins that we never get to see. But that'll have to wait.

In the meantime, here is my favorite photo from the trip. Visit the flickr page and view it large. It came out great.

pittsburgh pa from mt. washington overlook

Alright. At least you know I'm alive and kicking and all is right with the world (so far) here at the Way Out Inn. More later.

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