Thursday, June 06, 2002

Short Skirt, Long Jacket, Hoot Hoot

You've heard the Bud Light radio commercials where they celebrate the common man, right? "Mister Toilet Paper Refiller Guy" and "Chinese Food Delivery Man" among others... if you haven't, they are very funny. They have a voice over guy in all seriousness extolling the virtues of Stadium Beer Man and Billboard Changing Man, with this cheesy inspirational music and a guy singing in the back, chiming in with perfect little phrases to accompany voice over guy. (by the way, that link goes to a page where the guy has posted the lyrics to all the spots).

Here is the link to Bud Light's Official Radio Commercial Site... where you can hear some of the spots. If you haven't oh please do.

They are currently called "Real Men of Genius." But they used to be called "Real American Heroes..." until September 11th. Then, people complained to Bud Light, and they took the spots off the air until they could be reworked. I guess people thought that the "Real American Heroes" in the form of cops and firefighters would be insulted, and their families would take offense, and no one would ever drink Bud Light again. Ever.

Well, aside from the fact that Bud Light is PissWater Light (if you can get even more light than PissWater) and no one should be drinking that swill in the first place, these were funny ads, and yes, Mister Chinese Food Delivery Guy IS a real American Hero. Working hard for that dollar forty seven tip. And I think the cops and firefighters thought those ads were freaking HYSTERICAL on September 10th.

I swear if my husband died I wouldn't lose my sense of humor.

This is almost as insane as people being pissed about part two of the Lord of the Rings trilogy being called "The Two Towers." It's insensitive I guess. Here is the text of the petition, I'm cutting and pasting it to prevent a 404 error one of these days when the stupid petition is pulled off line forever (if the link is still up, please note the top of the petition where the hosts point out the obvious).

To: Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema

Those of us who have seen The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring know what an amazing director Peter Jackson is. When I learned that there apparently was to be a sequel, I was overjoyed. However, Peter Jackson has decided to tastelessly name the sequel "The Two Towers". The title is clearly meant to refer to the attacks on the World Trade Center. In this post-September 11 world, it is unforgiveable that this should be allowed to happen. The idea is both offensive and morally repugnant. Hopefully, when Peter Jackson and, more importantly, New Line Cinema see the number of signatures on this petition, the title will be changed to something a little more sensitive.


The Undersigned

Uh, the book was written in the 1950s fer chrissake, and that is the TITLE TOLKIEN GAVE IT, stupidass! Get a fucking clue! Peter Jackson has decided to tastelessly name the sequel????? Peter Jackson has no control over what a man decided to name his novel 47 years ago, you absolute dumb bunny! You simpleton. You jackaninny.

Plus, the fact of the matter is, that in the end of things these two towers remain standing. It's a wonderful tale of victory over abject evil. I think that Tolkien would be proud that he chose two towers instead of four spherical rooms. Or an octagonal plaza. It's the Two Towers, and they survive, and I think people will be moved by the sense of triumph and hope that comes through at the end of the third book.

But, I don't want to spoil that for you. I'm a Tolkien nerd.

I recently noticed that our trash guys suck.

Having lived here for six years (can that be true?) we started out life with four trash barrels, which promptly lost their lids because the trash guys never take care to put them anywhere useful, like back ON the can... so they get blown away and end up run over or in the creek. Ruined and useless.

In the last half year, two of our four barrels have met horrible deaths in the form of being run over by cars. The days in question weren't even really windy days or anything, but the guys simply didn't put the barrels up on the curb. So they end up in the road, and then someone creams them.

A few weeks ago, the trash guys came, and normally I go right out and get the barrels and put them away. (We had 3 at this point...). But on this particular trash day, I was slow to go retrieve said three barrels.

Suddenly I heard someone skid, slamming on their brakes, and then I hear the barrel hit my house, a car door slam, and the car rippin' tear ass away from in front of my house.

The shithead HIT the barrel, decimated it, and then threw it at my house like it was MY fault that he wasn't paying attention. What the fuck is up with THAT?? I mean, sure, it sucks to hit a barrel. I've done it. But throw it at my house?

Good thing he didn't hit the plate glass window or I swear I would have jumped in the car and chased his ass from here to Tyngsboro.

So that barrel died a horrid death. We now have two. Between our output and our tenant, we need four.

I need to buy more barrels, but I'm loath to buy something NICE with an attached lid, something sturdy and resilient. Someone might hit it and it might not collapse, causing their car to flip over 180 degrees onto its hood and people could die.

Stupid friggin' trash guys.

In other news, I jumped in here, not to write about Real Men of Genius, but to tell you about what Geoff is up to. He's singing.

He's singing lyrics of his own to the tune of "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" by Cake, which we just heard on the radio. He told me he loves girls. Loves girls all the time. And he loves that song about the smart girl. So he starts singing, (if you know the song, sing along. He never gets to the refrain):

"I want a girl that has a Spearrow [that's a pokemon].
I want a girl that plays battles all the time.
I want a girl that won't quit a battle.
I want a girl that rides a bike.
I want a girl that eats pizza.
I want a girl that has a Ponyta [another pokemon]
I want a girl that has a Hoo Hoo [I have no idea what a Hoo Hoo is, but it sounds interesting]"

Like I said, he doesn't get to the refrain, which isn't really a refrain at all, but this is good. I just need to find out what a Hoo Hoo is.

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