I know it's not appropriate. I know it is not funny. I know. I know....
I made chicken soup tonight for dinner. I wanted to clear out space in the freezer, and there was a large bag of chicken stock and 2 chicken breasts up in there hogging up space. I got them all together, I got everything cooking. I added celery, frozen corn (to make more room in the freezer), and wanted some carrots but didn't have any. I found a bag of carrots/broccoli/water chestnuts and pulled all the carrots out of it.
Doug got home from work and got a big huge bowl of soup, and plopped down on the couch.... promptly spilling his bowl of soup in his lap.
He ran into the bathroom shower downstairs and Geoff came down, and started laughing.
I told him that he was NOT allowed to laugh that it was NOT funny. I asked him to get a towel while I supervised the dogs in cleaning up all the soup on the floor (and couch).
With towel in hand, I went to the bathroom to check on Doug, and he was in the shower holding the detatchable shower head on his nads.
"Are you okay?"
"NO!" he yelled at me indignantly. "I burned my..."
"I know I'm sorry."
"I NEED A TOWEL!"
"I have your towel... here."
He came out and started drying himself off. And he laughed a little, and I told him he wasn't allowed to laugh. He still had his socks on.
After he was dried off and dressed again, he didn't get a second bowl of soup. He got crackers and cheese, and wine. "So you're mad at my soup?"
"It was doing the only thing it knows how to do," I said sadly, echoing a story from his childhood where his dad stomped on a whistle that he wouldn't stop blowing...
"Burning my balls is the only thing it knows how to do?"
"No, being HOT is the only thing it knows how to do."