Rather than deal with the nightmare of holiday weekend traffic last night, we stayed home to relax. That way we can face the nightmare of holiday weekend traffic this morning. We're off to grandma and grampa's (my parents) in NY, for relaxation, geocaching, and perhaps Doug and I will take an evening tonight or Sunday night to go out to dinner without the shorties. A night to ourselves.
I love my parents and my inlaws. I also love that we don't live really close. Why? Oh, you know. The really close in-laws next door types of familes always end up in constant struggle.
See the TV "comedy" "Everybody Loves Raymond" for a very good example of what I mean.
Geographically close families are often in conflict. And I dislike conflict. I have had moments in my life when I've wanted to run screaming into the night when dealing with either my mother or my mother in law, and if I lived next door I'd probably ... kill them. NO. Not really. That's complete exaggeration. I'm just saying that the distance between us makes for a nice, safe buffer zone. I enjoy that.
The one thing I don't enjoy is not having them close by to see the grandkids grow up. We probably see Doug's parents a couple times a year, my folks more often. My mother is willing to travel up here a lot, which is good... because I hate traveling home. I really dislike the ride down and back, not the being there. Traffic on Long Island is like death on wheels to me. It makes me angry, sick, frustrated and committed to never returning.
I also miss the concept of free babysitting. But I've seen that so abused by other people in life. The fact that grandma is home, and close, and the kids end up dumped there at all times... so the husband and wife can work, or go to a movie, or go on a cruise...
Doug and I have taken one weekend away from the kids in our entire marriage. I know people who do that once a month. Sometimes... more.
It is just wrong. Raise your own kids. Take them on vacation with you. Don't make grandma do all the work she did with YOU on YOUR kids. If you need some alone time, drug the kids, put them to bed and make your bedroom your own crazy fantasy zone (brings to mind Homer and Marge in the utility closet at the Camelot Inn... but if you don't watch the Simpsons the reference is lost).
I wouldn't mind having the rentals or the inlaws close by, like an hour away, so dinner out once in a blue moon wouldn't be difficult. Finding a babysitter, getting to know him/her. We've had three people sit for us, and each of them leave for college, or leave college in the area and go back home.
The girl who sat for us most recently is native to the area and is going to college in Boston in January. I asked her if she'd be willing to sit for us when she comes home on weekends and she enthusiastically agreed... but I hate the idea that I'd be cutting into her social life with my neediness.
Anyway.
We ran into Shelley and Steve and M, Jessie's friend from school. We spent a ton of time walking around with them and checking out the fair. We didn't intend to do that necessarily, but it was still a blast. They crack me up.
We sat in a Dodge Truck that made me drool at the Dodge truck booth, and are considering buying one, trading in Rudy the Red Saturn in order to buy a totally wicked extended cab 23mpg red or black ass kicking truck. I'd love it forever.
And we got home, everyone was so tired, Geoff tried to go to bed with shoes and his hot fleece on. It was a hard time getting him to actually get bed ready.
Last night I spoke at very great length (uh, 2.5 hours, I think) with my very good friend Rob, the one who spent the prom with me in the hot tub singing "It's Raining On Prom Night" (see my 100 things, number 36).
He lives in the Washington D.C. area, works in a middle school as a counselor. So he's telling me all about what he's dealing with in the classroom, not only with the kids but with the faculty and staff.
He went to the gas station today with three other people who needed gas in their cars but were too petrified to pump the gas. So he pumped it for them.
He was a big focus for counseling for the kids after the September 11th attack -- it's his job. So many kids in his school are military kids and had family or friends impacted at the Pentagon that day. So not only did he have to deal with his own feelings, he had to put the kids and the staff first. It's so hard.
I want you to pray for Rob and for his school. I'm not kidding.
Pray for these children. He is doing such a good job with them, but the situation there is fraying everyone's edges. And pray for him specifically -- he has a lot of people who unload to him how they feel, and I know he could use the spirit sent his way to lift him and provide him with the strength to help them and to deal with stuff he's feeling as well.
Anyway -- here are a couple pictures from the fair. I will be here again to update life for you on Monday or Tuesday. Try and enjoy yourself as much as you humanly can this weekend -- and special love to Tess as she travels. Wooo!
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| "Carnival. The wheel flies and the colors sing..." An artsy couple pictures of crazy rides. Doug went on the one on the left with Geoff. Geoff loved it -- Doug felt w | |
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| Spongebob in a wheelchair. He must have suffered a ride-related accident. Not that I should joke, because someone did at the fair a couple days before we got there! | I am sorry this picture came out so dark. She looks so cute, and the lights on the ferris wheel were so pretty. |
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