Yesterday morning, I was in the shower and I stepped forward to pick something up. I slid. It was a very fast motion and I felt my legs going up in front of me. I put the brakes on (did you know I came with anti-lock brakes? I do... on all models, standard. Because I care about safety) and thankfully I didn't fall.
But Jeez Oh Man I jammed all the muscles in my lower back, right above my big fat arse.
And I am currently in incredible discomfort.
I'm glad it happened in the shower... I stood there bent forward for a few minutes with the hottest water our house could give me pounding onto my back. I gingerly got out of the shower and made it to my bed where I sat down...
and couldn't get back up.
It was about a half hour of "oh shit... oh man... how am I going to get dressed?" with Brodie dog jumping all over me because she wanted to cuddle and convince me to get back into bed... she's clever like that, with her cuddly puppy cunning ways.
Managing to get dressed and out the door, I made it to the car. Doug drove it last, and he does this thing with the driver's side front seat that makes me feel like I'm getting an exam at the gyno... the seat is reclined backwards to an absurd angle, and the front of the seat puts my knees up at 9 and 3 on the sides of the steering wheel.
Hello Doctor, how's it lookin' in there? Oh, you're not my doctor, you're the Subaru Logo.
I had forgotten that he does this to the car, and got into the seat before I could stop myself from falling backward.
The next 15 minutes are a kind of foggy mess, but I think I cried as I fished around for the controls to move the seat into a somewhat more comfortable position. I realized my left leg was still outside of the car, and I had to LIFT it with my hands to get it in the car... because it was blocking access to the seat position controls.
Why I didn't take Brodie's suggestion and go back to bed is beyond me.
I made it to the office, and we have a massage therapist who works on the first floor. I had his business card in my wallet, and gave him a call. He managed to find about 20 minutes in the middle of the day where he could see me and he fit me into the schedule. Thank God. I don't know if I would have made it through the day without seeing him. I'm going back on Monday, because it is obvious this morning that I'm not better, not 100%.
Guess it is official -- I'm old and crippled, right before I turn 41.
Fanfuckingtastic. Ouch.
So now I'm going to stand in the hot shower again, get a little looser... more heating pads and some Cat's Claw gel samples from the massage therapist's office... and I'm off to work. Thank God I don't have to do any heavy lifting/moving or anything that requires effort. All I have to do is program one spot that starts Monday and then preivew all the content for November 23-December 2. That is done in a big, comfy conference room chair while wrapped in a cozy blanket. I can handle that.
I wish there was a fun kind of thing to talk about, but you guys can go ahead and point and laugh accordingly if you want. Go ahead. Point and laugh at the old lady.
Gotta go. more later from cripplesville.
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