I've heard a lot of people say that Facebook is a very bad place to hang out.
You're constantly looking at your friends' lives, and their happiness and their perfect children (and in my case, already... some of my friends have grandchildren). Their vacations and their tans and their snorkels and swim fins.
Your life sucks in comparison. It's just the truth.
I've always tried to not be braggy about accomplishments or things my kids are doing. I've also tried to not be overtly whiny when things are in the shit.
Essentially, I try to be the class clown and make jokes or drop in song quotes. I talk to inanimate objects (ie: "Dear Spring... I know what you're doing...") My life does kind of suck. But I'm not going to stand out in the middle of the neighborhood and be the town crier about these things. I'm not looking for pity, I'm not needing someone to call the wahmbulance (one of my favorite words ever).
The one thing that I'm having a hard time with lately is my seeming multitude of friends slagging their bosses, their jobs, their careers. I know, you get to about 50 and you start to have that just-past-mid-life crisis and complain and whine about stuff.
But it's really irritating me right now because I don't HAVE a job. I want a job. I want any job. I need a paycheck. I am starting to panic.
When a friend posts that a co-worker was a dick and said this that and the other thing and they want to quit their job over this, I have to shake my head. When another friend posts that they don't get the recognition or appreciation they feel they deserve, I feel bad for them for a minute but then realize they probably don't look at their paycheck when it comes in every week (or every other week) because of direct deposit, so they don't know how good they have it at the end of the day.
Recognition, schrecognition.
So please do me a favor. Shut up already? Cash your paycheck, pay your bills, make your car payment, go away for a long weekend because you can afford a cabin rental in the Adirondacks. Be thankful you have a paycheck. Or find another job if you think you can find another job. Just ... go back to being happy about your life or something, anything.
And take those pictures of you and your kid snorkling or kissing a dolphin, or the amazing 4 star meal you just ate. I'm here with my box of cheez-its for dinner, but appreciate the little victories you share more than some bitching and whining.
being self employed is similar to being permanently unemployed. you live life making absolutely sure the other people can cash their paychecks and sometimes, if you are fortunate, there's a little left over for you to get paid. not always and not usually.
ReplyDeletea-to-the-men, sista! I want people to either be ok with the job they have or get another one! or definitely not be complaining on social media about said job. that cannot lead to anything good, even if you think you have your permissions locked down. that said, I don't know a lot of people who do that online, for which I'm grateful, but my feed is filled with people leading Fabulous Lives that make me feel like shit.
ReplyDeleteI can certainly understand the sentiment and can appreciate it. However, speaking as someone who is not quitting her job but finds herself at times dissatisfied with the circumstances and incidents that occur on what is sometimes a daily basis, I do make comments on my wall regarding that dissatisfaction, so let me please address this with my thoughts on the subject. When I post little bitches about my workplace, I do this because it is my profile, my forum to speak about whatever I choose to speak about. It is a platform that I have created for myself to share with my friends and family, and if I want to vent to those select few because I'm having a crappy day and it's because of THIS, I will. If I tailor all of my posts to work around another persons' circumstances, then I am not using this bit of social media for myself to be an accurate representation of the real me regardless of whether it's a good day or a bad day, whether I am more fortunate or less fortunate than others, and if I begin to think that I must cater to the circumstances of the people who've friended me, or to only present one aspect of this massively complex life o'mine, or put forth only the fuzzy, happy parts that are sometimes few and far between, then it becomes their profile, not mine; that isn't what I signed up for. There are profiles that I only skim because the political and religious extremism and vitriol are too much for me; I know going in that I may be faced with some pretty intolerant stuff, but that's only a small fraction of this person, so I skim rather than cease, because extreme politics are just a fraction of the whole when it comes to what makes up this person who is my friend. I am friends with people who've posted publicly that they will require their friends to quit posting photos and cartoons of rats or mice because they are freaked out and any such friend doing so will be blocked; I've told them that if they find my posts offensive then to please block me and I won't be offended - they have my blessing. There have been requests from friends who have given me specific phrases that they no longer wish to see when they look at my wall ("I love [whatever]" and "You can do it!"). I have politely declined. I have never once asked anyone to stop posting anything that they chose to post on their own wall that I requested access to, because I do not feel it is my place to dictate to them what they put out into the world. We all take our chances with whatever we post, and it's up to us what we choose to read, isn't it?
ReplyDeletethank you for your feedback tess, and i am super sad that you hate what is going on at work. normally i'd advise you to quit your job and find your happy, but i think in this economy, especially after the last 4 years of me trying to find a job, i would say continue to take the money and find happy elsewhere.
Deletethis blog entry is not directed at you. i have some friends and relatives who literally only complain all day every day, 20 times a day. and, if they're not complaining about their job, they're angry at their kids, their spouses.... everything. there is zero happy anywhere to be found.
i love you dearly - and you do post the many facets of your "complex life o'yours" for sure. from that happy to the unhappy. the point of my entry was that it just gets overwhelming when you have 15 dollars in your bank account and a friend is taking their job for granted fully, and not finding something somewhere in life to bring them joy.
you don't have to cater to anyone's circumstances... and i think my love that if i wasn't happy with reading what you have to say i'd unfriend you by now. in fact, after i wrote this, i had to drop a cousin. the whole kid thing was getting to me.
hang in there -- hopefully somewhere along your career path you'll have some more happy stuff to say.
It did come out a little defensive and that was certainly not my intention - I knew this wasn't aimed at me, but these were just points that I wanted to make. I trust that if you had had any issue what whatever I post you would have taken it up with me personally. I have been where you are, and I have felt similar things - I do understand.
ReplyDeletemwah! kisses.
Deletemuch love to you sweetie. hang tough.