Oversleep

I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up a few times and went to the bathroom. Toffee really likes to get nested in my lower back and butt, curled up like a little 50 pound croissant. It was cold in the bedroom last night so she was exceptionally snuggled in. I went to the guest room but bundled her up in a blanket, since she was not going to get my butt heat. 

For about an hour I was awake, and I picked a podcast and tried to go back to sleep but it was too interesting. Eventually, sleep found me but the dogs did not. They heard Geoff in the kitchen, and he fed them breakfast. I had gotten after him the other day because he lets them out, then goes downstairs while Doug and I are both still in bed, so ... guess who has to get up and let them in. A full hour plus before a body wants to get out of bed. Today he stayed in the living room, and brought them in. 

They found me and got back in bed, big snuggles and snoring. My alarm went off and instead of snooze I hit dismiss. If Dahlia wasn't having a dream full of yipping and growling, I would have kept sleeping. 

Days like this, I'm happy I work at home. Got up, dressed, ready, work. Work. Meeting, and a meeting cancelation that gave me permission to run to the gym. 

I kind of feel like I should do this, lunch time plus a half hour. And the ability to hit the market is extra good. I needed potatoes because the ones we had were beat. And a fresh can of breadcrumbs. Good to go for meatloaf. 

Today, I pushed it for myself and stayed on the treadmill. The treadmill is slower than my fitbit, because I set it for 3 miles per hour, which is 20 minutes for a mile, and then I have been jogging/joke running to some songs. So my fitbit will say 18 minutes for a mile pace, or ... I got it to 14 minutes for a mile pace. 

Timing wise, 45 minutes and the treadmill said like 2 miles, a little more maybe. And my fitbit reported a whole lot more. The playlist was good today. Hungry Like The Wolf is a little too slow, but Girls on Film is perfect. 

Came back to meetings, a shower, a check in with my boss, more meetings, and a spreadsheet to conquer. I planned on hitting that thing tonight but the dogs were busy and playful, and I had them basically on top of me several times so I put the laptop somewhere safe and out of reach of the nonsense. 

Not sure what the weather is going to be tomorrow. It could be super snowy or it could be not. We're kind of on the edge of what may be meaningful, measurement-wise. 

Geoff goes to the gym in the morning. He leaves at 8:30 and is back by 10. I have a 4:15 meeting tomorrow, so I may not get to go to the gym unless I run out the door the minute Geoff returns. We'll see. 

Digits, below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill, 45min/2.34 miles. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 123
5pm: 72 (!!!)
10pm: 128

food:

coffee/water
9:45am: phentermine
10am: Metformin+glipizide 
2pm: 2 good yogurt
5pm: pretzel chips w/hummus
6pm: Metformin+glipizide; 2 pieces of 15 grain bread w/pb
6:45pm: meatloaf, some mashed potatoes, broccoli in cheese sauce, some gravy on the potatoes
9pm: jardiance

open hours

Today my 1pm meeting was canceled, so I took off for the gym at 12-ish. The entire afternoon was stacked with meetings until 5pm. I thought my next meeting was at 2pm, so when it got to 1:20pm, I ended my treadmill time, at 38 minutes. I was game to keep going but I needed one or two things from the market for dinner tonight, so. Better go and be on time! 

My meeting was at 3pm. I coulda kept going, hit 2 miles. Boo. Had to laugh though because it gave me plenty of time to wind down. I got back to the house at 1:55 and it would have been wild to just jump on this client call, flushed of face and wild of hair. 

Not much else going on. Doug bought another indestructible dog toy which was destroyed in under 2 minutes. I had to laugh. The girls played with the carcass. There is stuffing everywhere. 

I'll clean it up in the morning. 

I thought I caught a really good picture of Dahlia sitting with me this morning in the beautiful sunlight but, it ... didn't? Sad. I'll just have that picture in my brain.

Off to bed. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. missed 11am by a couple steps because a meeting ran a long, and I didn't get up and walk around during it. bah. Treadmill, 38 min/1.89 miles. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 143
4:45pm: 103
10pm: 113

food:

coffee/water
7:45am: phentermine
10am: metformin+glipizide
11am: 2 slices of 15 grain toast w/pb 
2:30pm: apple w/pb
5:30pm: metformin+glipizide
6:15pm: chicken in creamy mushroom sauce over white rice (ate more white rice than I shoulda)
white wine w/diet ginger ale
8pm: jardiance

The Great Escape

We have been in the midst of about 24 hours of hella super bad winds. Some gusts over 60mph. People all around the area have been reporting trees down and damage. One woman on Nextdoor posted a cute little play tent that she woke up to find in her yard this morning, no idea what neighbor it came from. 

Doug woke up this morning and our back door had blown open at some point after 3am. How do we know it was after 3am? I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and out of curiosity decided to check it.  Found that it was closed, but I didn't deadbolt it. So between me checking and him getting up, in that 4 hour window, the gusts did their job. 

The dogs have been crazy for the last couple days. I let them out at about 1:30pm, thinking I'll answer a couple more emails, and head to the gym sometime after 2. I heard Dahlia barking, which she does all the time, so I got up to let them in. 

They were not in the yard. But I could hear her. Where the hell was she? 

I went to the backyard and one of our neighbors was latching the back gate, Dahlia was in the yard. She told me that she lives about four doors up the street and saw her prancing around. She didn't recognize her, so she came outside to see if she could get her, and Dahlia ran right back to our yard. So she was taking care of the gate. I was relieved because Dahlia can still get pregnant for probably 2 more weeks, so, keeping her away from making any friends with benefits is very important. 

But I noticed Toffee wasn't around. Either.

Awww shit. Not my bean! 

So I came in and got Doug, and I walked around the yard calling for her. Shit. What the fart. 

Dahlia was running around frantic. I think she's very attached to Toffee at this point and was all WHERE MY GIRL AT! energy. 

My neighbor John was walking his dog Maisy, and I asked if he'd seen her. He said no, and gestured up the street that he could walk Maisy another block up just to see if he could find her "and I'll grab her." 

Doug went outside with the leash, and he walked the same direction John had.

I looked up the street and there was John, trying to grab Toffee, who was running all around him with absolute joy and energy, while he was trying to hold his own dog's leash, who was freaking out a little bit because this big dog was bouncing all around. 

Doug met up with them, got her on the leash, they stood and chatted while Dahlia was apoplectic about TOFFEE IS OUT THERE!!! 

She also picked up a giant branch that had fallen out of the big tree in back, and ran around with it. It is a good 10 feet long, so that was entertaining. 

Doug said the Toffee was up at our friends' house, the one with the other pittie pup, Meg. She was in Meg's yard, sniffing around and trying to get into the back. 

It's the one other place in the neighborhood she knows, so of course. She went to her best friend's house. 

And Doug had gone right on her trail. 

Relieved that they didn't run far. Relieved one neighbor lady followed Dahlia down, and Dahlia came right to the yard, and the lady latched the gate. Relieved for John and Maisy, and promise to not be laughing in my head a little bit at the image of him trying to corral her. Relieved that Meg lives four doors up and that's the only place Toffee thought to go. Relieved no one was driving down the side street at top fucking speed the way they do around here. 

Adventure.

And of course, the dog escape adventure happened literally 1 minute before I was putting on my yoga pants to take a late lunch and go to the gym. Geoff went to the market this morning, got a bunch of things for chili for dinner tonight (so kind of him) so I actually don't need to go to the grocery store. ha! 

He did forget to get low sugar strawberry jelly, but they don't carry that at Lidl anyway so. I'll go without until he can get himself to the store again.

I had zero meetings today. Well, not exactly true. There is a weekly newsletter content meeting that my manager usually attends but he is off today, so I went instead. I always feel useless in this meeting, I contributed one thing and that was about it. 

But super thankful to not have any other meetings! I did support tickets and answered a lot of emails, and it got to be 4pm and I decided that would be the time to go to the gym. Had a good 30+ min time on the treadmill and thought about the circuit room but headed back. Geoff had started to make dinner for us, so I was off the hook for that. 

That's about it. Digits! Below! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  treadmill at the gym, 32 min/1.66 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 112
4:15pm: 133
10:15pm: 113

food:

coffee/water
9:15am: Phentermine
11am: metformin+glipizide
11:45am: low carb wrap w/turkey, bacon, mayo, shredded cheese
5:45pm: metformin+glipizide
6:30pm: chili (beans, beef, fritos, cheese, sour cream)
3 High Noon seltzers

Colorado Plans

Today I had plans to do things but all that got done was some laundry. Mandatory laundry. 

I had a horrible night's sleep last night. I woke up around 4:30am, had intense intestinal pain and corresponding ... runs. Every time I fell asleep, I felt the sudden impending explosion. A couple times I didn't make it. Hence the mandatory laundry.

I took immodium immediately after the first wave and it didn't kick in for quite some time, but eventually did. Ugh. Every half hour I was up and racing to the john. I played The Constant podcast (Fucking Aristotle! FUCK THAT GUY!) and in between laughing at the narration, I drifted in and out, missing sections and rewinding to get back to the spot where I was sleeping. It is an interesting enough podcast that I want to know what happens and how things end. Engaging, not like something I can just say "eh, I don't need to know how that interview works out."

I slept really well from 7:30-9:30 so that was a relief. I thought I should just stay up at 7:30 since I got up and fed the dogs and let them out, but Doug woke up too and he came out to sit with them (they sometimes come back to bed and sometimes want to play fight wrassle fight play). 

This morning Toffee came back to bed with me and Dahlia sat nice with Doug. They had good fellowship while I had some deep sleep. 

After I got up, had a coffee or two to get conscious, we booked our flights for our trip. We are headed to Denver. Doug wants to drive up to Cripple Creek and all over the mountains out there. He always plans a good trip, so he's doing his research and has the idea of where we want to drive, stay, and spend a week in a beautiful place we've never been together. 

My only time in Colorado was in 2021 for Guster at Red Rocks (refresh your memory, click here!) and Doug didn't come with, even though I wanted him to. But I had a blast with Linda and our Guster Framily. Doug has only gone through the airport there. That's it.

When I plan a trip, the hotel has to have a pool, there need to be good places to eat close by or even in the building, and I don't plan excursions, I just roll with it. Usually with Linda, Pool. Mandatory. And day drinking while we shoot the shit and hang out. 

That was a great trip. We met more Guster fans out from the East Coast, made fast friends with folks from Worcester and by my mom. It was just a great time all around. 

Different vibe though when we do a Doug trip. Doug wants to go! see! experience! and I'm there for it. I sometimes get tired and cranky because he can walk for DAYS and not get tired and he sometimes forgets I'm tough but I'm a princess. And I do enjoy at least one hang out and do very little, and day drink. 

It's one of the reasons I've been going to the gym, and pushing myself  more to just get in better shape in the next couple of months. Stamina and endurance will be very important. All those steps (20,000 some days) in Las Vegas last year inspire me to do better this year. 

Doug took a nap at 5pm, and I almost left for the gym but it was POURING out, absolute deluge. Followed by a giant wind storm all evening long. The dogs cozied up to me and we had a good long snuggle together. I think they were pent up all day, and at 11:30pm they were losing their minds playing. Normally we're all just in bed but they were absolutely wild. 

Sigh. 

Anyway. That's about it. Here's a picture from our snugglefest. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 10 min. indoor quick walk, .47 miles. 5700+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 146
5pm: 126
11pm: 69 (tested 3 times)

food:

coffee/water
9:45am: Phentermine
11am: Metformin+glipizide 
2:30pm (much later than usual but the belly is still angry) 
6pm: Metformin+glipizide
7pm: Piece of chicken parm
vodka & diet tonic
11pm: jardiance

Burpy Hurthday

We had a nice quiet hang around the house with the dogs day. Doug took Dahlia for a long walk, Geoff took Toffee on one, and I started doing a walk inside the house. 

Geoff and I discussed dinner, and we realized I had a little shopping list to assemble so he and Doug would be able to have dinner. I had plans tonight, to go out for fun with Sara, Sean, and Henry. 

I timed things just right to go to the gym, spend some time on the treadmill with the Playlist, get what I needed at the market, and head home to shower. The treadmill and playlist were working for me, and I would have stayed, pushing to 45 minutes if I didn't need to go to the market and all that.

Our outing tonight was for Henry's birthday "month." They try to do fun things every weekend to celebrate him. And I love that they invite me. We met at an escape room where he and four friends were celebrating. Sara asked me to come not just because I'm awesome and we're good friends, but because she needed an extra car to help get everyone from the escape room to the pizza restaurant. 

"We don't have enough seats in my car for everyone. The parents are dropping the kids off at the escape room, and then picking them up later after pizza. So we need to get the kids over to the pizza parlor kind of like the Chicken, Fox, Bag of Grain puzzle."

Personally, I would have asked one of the parents to stick around and ferry the kids with me, but. She asked me. I was happy to help so they didn't have to do yet an extra puzzles. 

I arrived a little late because of weather and traffic. I walked in to them working through a word puzzle where the letters would unlock a combination lock. Victory! CHEERING! Then they were moving on to a math puzzle. 

The kids didn't know me, except Hen, but Sara introduced me and they welcomed me in enthusiastically. I was absolutely pleasantly surprised at how well they worked together. There was sharing of tasks, and discussion about how to solve the thing, and did you want to do this math puzzle because I'm not good at math puzzles. 

Do you want to come unlock the lock because you did all the math work? 
No you go ahead, you're right there!

We didn't escape the room, we fell just short. We were kind of irritated because some of the locks wouldn't unlock or there were supposed to be four coins but only 3 were in the box, different things like that. I think they're going to hear from Sara. She was full of "Strong Letter To Follow" vibes. Bad Yelp review vibes.

I told the kids that it didn't matter if we didn't solve it. No one is taking away our PIZZAAAA!!!!! 

I took a kid and Sean with me in the car, Sara had everyone else. We were seated and ordered. It seemed to take forever for the food to arrive and the kids were getting punchy and loud. Finally the food, and at the end Henry wanted Donuts and not cake because he does not like cake. So I ate a donut in his honor. 

We sang to him, even though he does not like that Happy Birthday song. I know he likes Weird Al and silly things so I changed it to Burpy Hurthday, and the kids loved it and sang it too. Henry's face. He loved it. 

Forever we'll have Burpy Hurthday. 

I left a little after 7, in the pouring rain and pitch dark. I find it so hard to see in the dark when driving and I had tried to get Doug to come with me JUST so he'd drive, but he did not want to. Fair. But I made it, a couple scary maneuvers committed by other people. Glad to get back here and get some wine. Voof. 

I can't believe I didn't even take one picture today. Huh. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  2 walking sessions. Indoors, 16 min/.7 miles. Treadmill, 37 min/1.81 miles; 12k+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 143
4pm: 147
11pm: 111

food:

coffee/water
10am: Phentermine
10:30am: Metformin+glipizide
11am: english muffin w/ PB & low sugar jelly
3pm: too good yogurt
6pm: Metformin+glipizide
6:30pm: salad, Ledo pizza (incredibly thin crust, "Supreme" toppings which was 99% bacon); 
7pm: one chocolate dunkin donuts donut, it was what henry wanted instead of cake.
9pm: white wine w/diet gingerale
9:15pm: jardiance

New Toys

I've been talking to a couple people about the prospect of them adopting Dahlia. I think we've got a good option in a high school friend of mine and her son, who lives in the basement of their house on Long Island. He's been looking for a dog, and she has a dog. But she'd be his dog, and have a built in playmate. 

I'm feeling conflicted and I knew this would happen. She's a lot but I kind of like her. I've grown semi-attached to her. I think she is REALLY good for Toffee. They play SO MUCH together and it is so fun. 

Doug thinks it is way too much and too raucous. But I don't know. There's a ton of joyful there. 

So I'm just kind of feeling down about her. I hate it. Anyway. 

Doug ordered a bunch of new dog toys. "indestructible" dog toys. One was decimated within 90 seconds. We hid the other 2 stuffies, just so they'll last a little bit. And there is a fish toy. Super hard plastic, super hard rubber with a squeaker inside. It is so hard I can't squeak it with my hands. Toffee and Dahlia can squeak it with their teeth. 

Powerful monsters that they are. 

Today was a busy day. I had a very early meeting with one of our project managers who lives in Romania. She is lovely and I really like her. So that was worth getting up and getting showered for. 

I had a meeting every half hour today, it seemed, There wasn't a giant 90 minute gap for me to take off to the gym or anything. And it got to be 6pm and I was still working on some emails. Dinner needed to be made and I just gave up on the idea of rallying to go. Strangely, my gym is crowded on Friday nights. So weird. 

So we had dinner, watched a show about restoring historic buildings in the UK called The Restoration Man. Very very interesting and at times very touching. 

Doug has started to plan a trip for us in June for our anniversary. Details to come, but I'm super excited to take a trip. 

Anyway. Here's a picture of the toys. And destruction. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Somehow missed 1pm but thought I got it in? huh. 5k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 123
4:45pm: 127
10:30pm: 126

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: Phentermine
9:30am: Metformin+Glipizide
10:30: low carb english muffin w/pb & low sugar jelly
2pm: bowl of salad w/left over chicken fajita, sour cream & bean dip
5:30pm: Metformin_Glipizide
6:30pm: 3 italian sausages, 2 rolls, queso cheese dip. white wine and diet ginger ale
9:30pm: jardiance

Late Work

I agreed to help a client with an after hours thing, and they asked to do it at 10pm. At least it was not 3am.  We just finished up, great success. No real post for today, just the digits. 

I regret not going to the gym between 4 and 6pm when I had some time. Geoff made dinner and I had too many carbs. Booooooo. 

more interesting things tomorrow.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no gym, lots of work. 5k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 133
4:30pm: 115
10:20pm: 133

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: Phentermine
10:30am: Metformin+glipizide
10:45am: 2 slices of organic 21 grain bread toasted w/peanut butter
2pm: left over fajita chicken, onions, peppers turned into a chicken salad w/mayo. No bread.
6pm: metformin+glipizide
6:30pm: bowl of mac & cheese w/bacon
8pm: bowl of mixed nuts
10pm: jardiance

Frosting Day

Yesterday's snow is pretty today. The sky is the same color as the snow on the ground so everything is frosting. Reminds me of the line from Counting Crows' "Round Here" 

"Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white."

No fog here, just. a ton of white on white. The only contrast is the black power lines, and the green of the bushes, trees, and plants, and the red brick homes. 

Geoff was up very early this morning. He wanted to go to the gym and Doug dissuaded him from doing so. Our street is plowed, the main drag is probably plowed, but so many streets are not. They made a one lane pass on our side street, did a shit job, and they won't be back for hours. Geoff was pissed off about it, but Doug is right. 

It isn't that we don't trust him to drive, we just know the roads are no good until later this evening. Go to the gym after dinner. Much better idea. He got to see that in action when I drove him to work. We had pulled out after a stop sign and this woman came flying through the intersection, no stopping just going. I slammed on the brakes, laid on the horn, and Geoff said "well that was interesting." Yeah. It was. But a little snow makes people insane. 

I got up when the dogs were doing their super WWE wrasslin' face time morning chaos. Trying to sleep in was not possible. I heard Doug go outside with them so he could assess the walkways and situation. He ended up slipping on the steps - sheet of ice. Banged up his ankle and his knee, shoulder got bruised. Thankfully he did not hit his head. Ouchies.

Geoff went out and shoveled our walkway and the sidewalk out front. The snow must have been easy peasy to move around because he was back in no time. Didn't clean the cars off though. So I sent him out before I drove him to work. 

I got boots on, went out, played with the dogs for a bit. They had a lot of fun. Toffee is more interested in going out with a human. Dahlia will just go out all the time. She's all about having fun in the snow. They both like it when you throw snow up in the air so they can chomp it. It seemed like we had more snow in the back yard than the front? Up front was about 3 inches, out back looked like 6. With no wind, nothing to push anything around and mess it up so it was really nice to walk around the yard. 

We came in, I got more coffee, they got treats. I bought a container of jumbo cinnamon rolls at the market yesterday thinking it would be a cute thing to have this morning on a snowy day. One cinnamon roll = 52 carbs. Ha. That's pretty much what I have in a whole damn day. 

I whipped those up, and there are five in a package so I had one and left the other 4 for the boys. 

I have to admit. They aren't as tasty as I remembered or I wanted. They were kind of dry, and I always recalled the inner roll just being moist and very tasty. 

Still, a very nice treat and a change. And then a protein shake. Lower that sugar! I had a big open lunch time no-meeting span, so I opted to go to the gym again. Pushed myself on the treadmill - stayed on it for 45 min. Thanks Playlist!

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill 45 min/2.06 miles (yussss) 10,500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:30am: 133
5pm: 80
10:45pm: 89

food:

coffee/water
7:30am: Phentermine
9:15am: one Pillsbury Cinnamon roll (w/minimal frosting)
10am: Metformin+glipizide; protein shake
3pm: pepperoni slices
5:30pm: metformin+glipizide; one cheeseburger on a bed of salad w/goat cheese
7pm: a few oreo cookies; red wine+diet ginger ale
8pm: jardiance

Gym Thoughts

We were expecting some very heavy snow today. I had a big open block of time on the calendar with no meetings so I decided to go to the gym in the middle of the day.

Some of my coworkers take longer lunch breaks, or they take a nap. Or they do personal things like doctors appointments. I feel like I never do these things, but today was just feeling like it was a good day to do so. 

I dropped Geoff off at work at 12:45 and headed up to the gym. Hardly anyone there, an entire row of treadmills just for me. I popped in the headphones and cranked up the playlist. 

There are TVs at the gym and sometimes they have closed captioning on. Sometimes not. I was in front of a TV that was broadcasting a show about a dog rescue, I didn't catch the name but it was horrible watching some of these dogs in their situations. And the Orange Megalomaniac was on CNN right next to it, so I tried not to look at him. To the other side of the dog show there was a soap opera. 

Here's my brain:

• Jesus I hate that man and I do not want to see his face. 
• I wonder if I can ask them to just turn CNN off.
• Oh my gosh that woman is crying in every scene she is in on this soap opera. 
• I don't think I've ever seen someone cry that much.
• Wow that dog is fucked up, oh his leg. Oh honey. Oh sweet baby. So the owner's at the front door and there's no one punching him in his throat. I couldn't do this job
• I used to listen to a lot of Genesis. ABACAB is a certified banger. Alright! Somewhat running now
• Oh my GOD will you get that man off the TV
• What a sweet redo/cleanup of the little room in the house for the sweet doggo that is coming home! Awwwww
• She's crying again
• Ghost! Alright. Trucking on and on here. Going kind of fast
• Don't youuuuuu forget about me No No No No! 
• Dude, put a shirt on. Soap opera boy. no reason why you gotta be walking around half nekkid. Weirdo. Nice muscles tho. 
• Oh this dude next to me has the coolest green hair. 
• Monkees? I love her VAAAAAAALLLLERIIIIEEEEEEE
• Oh man that dog is so sweet and beautiful I wanna snuggle himmmmmm
• Go away Trump. 

There was way more but this was pretty much my brain the entire time. Just an example of me. 

Did quite a bit on the treadmill. I kept saying "okay, one more song. What's next?" My goal was a half hour and a good song came on at the 28 minute mark that kept me going a little bit longer. 

After the gym I ran over to the market for a couple things before it was going to get snowy. I should not go to the gym when I am hungry because I buy a lot of stuff that doesn't go together, or a lot of snacks. 

I also stopped for wine and High Noons on the way home, because ... snow. 

The storm was starting and I figured having something on hand in case I wanted it is always a good plan. The boys have beer, so I wanted to have something not beer and not wine. 

I got home and the dogs ran around outside as it was all just starting to come down fast. I had planned on being out until 2, and it was 2:15 so I felt alright with that. 

Checking my email, a client had asked me for some urgent help, so I set up a zoom screenshare and met with him at 4pm. I helped, and then he had question after question. We spent more than an hour on the call. 5 minutes with the problem, and over an hour with the rest of the stuff. 

Doug left to go get Geoff, and we were all happily settled in for the night. I whipped up dinner, and a friend/client of mine in Waco Texas messaged me. I'd tipped her off that Roger Clyne and PH Naffah were doing a free show in town at a hat store. Yes. A Hat Store. 

She streamed it live on Facebook for me and I was the only one watching. Singing along to Blue Collar Suicide and Interstate with a big smile on my face. 

Doug took the dogs out and said we had only 2 inches of snow. Hilariously, the plow has been up and down our street four times already. 

Toffee didn't want to go out at all but Dahlia did. Toffee hates weather. Too wet, too cold, too hot, too whatever she wants nothing to do with it. She's absolutely my dog. 

Dahlia hates when Toffee doesn't come out with her which is hilarious. So she just went out and peed and came right back in. 

After dinner, the dogs did some wild face fighting and then somehow both ended up with me on the couch. They ended up in a good affectionate snuggle and I loved it. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Gym Treadmill - 34 min/1.6 miles. 10,200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 129
5pm: 99
10:45pm: 168

food:

coffee/water
9am: Phentermine
11am: Metformin+glipizide
11:45am: 2 good yogurt
2:30pm: Pepperoni snacks
5:30pm: Metformin+glipizide
6:15pm: bowl of sausage tortellini w/sauce; some bread
3 high noons
8:30pm: jardiance

Some things are not meant for you, or me, or us

I was going to go to the gym mid-day but got swept up in thoughts and feelings and writing and thinking. Then, after dinner, I had ... wine. Wasn't going to have anything to drink but. Today. Today was a challenge. And wine is nice.

I spent the morning learning more about the Kendrick Lamar half time show during the Super Bowl. A few of my friends and family posted to Facebook that they hated it. They hated all of it. They didn't understand it. It was horrible. It was stupid. They were absolutely offended by it. 

Now.

Hmmm. 

I know just enough about Kendrick (aka Kenny to some) and some of his Beef with Drake. I know a few things about him as a person. I know he has a Pulitzer Prize for his writing. 

I know so many black friends who went into this cringing "this is not going to go well. He's going to go right over the heads of not just white people but a lot of black people." He is educated, erudite, a wordsmith. He is political. He is challenging. 

And I only knew one song going in. One. And he played it. Boy did he ever.

There was a lot there, a lot visually, a lot to unpack. A lot to sit down and read the next day that explained a lot of what we saw. I was okay with that. I want to learn more. 

After talking to my work bestie all morning, I posted something to Facebook which I think got the most comments, the most reactions and to be honest the most discussion amongst the people I'm friendly with. 

It was by and far understanding and kind, even when people were a little "excuse me? what did you just say?" 

One of my big take-aways from all this is that there is art, and performance, and things that are not meant for everyone. And that's okay. 

A friend of mine said that for the past couple of years the "vibe" has been a certain way. And I wanted to say, "what do you mean by vibe? Black people?"

She's a big country music fan and she said the last time it was "country" was 1994. Well okay, maybe country is overdue for some representation on the field. But if you look at the last 10 years, yes. Sure. the "vibe" has been a certain way. Which I take you as masking your racism, in some ways but okay. 

None of the "vibe" are unknown/not stars. 

Some of it for sure isn't my style. But Usher was so much fun. I enjoyed Dr. Dre and Snoop. Bruno Mars was unforgettable. 

Another friend said he didn't like it. He said "too much "different" culture. We are American and should have one American culture." 

This one set a lot of folks off. Me included. 

What does American Culture mean? What are you expecting? How is a 5 time grammy award winner and pulitzer prize holder not American Culture? 

I was thinking about the recent moves that a certain president has taken to put himself in charge of a major cultural institution, the Kennedy Center, because he doesn't like the "art" coming out of it. There was a drag show! And Children WERE THERE! It's time to usher in a new Golden Age of arts and culture! With our Dear Leader at the helm. 

To me, this move, this tone, this activity smacks of North Korean political censorship of art and culture that the administration does not like. The suppression of what a few people believe is dangerous and subversive, to be replaced with what. Lee Greenwood? Kid Rock? C'mon man. 

Kendrick is American Culture. A side of it you may not jibe with but. He is. Accept that. 

Art doesn't exist to make you feel cozy and comfy. Sometimes Art is something that you don't get, you don't see, you don't understand. 

Doug and I often will look at public art sculptures around DC and other cities. He hates most of them. I can do without most of them. They fill space, and they're gaudy or stupid or ugly. Most of the time I don't go and research hard about what the sculptor was expressing because it is drive by and forgotten before we know it. 

For some, it is meaningful and that's okay for them. 

And for Kendrick, if you didn't get it and don't want to take the time to learn about it, well. That's okay. 

But running around the internet screaming about how "no one cares for this" performance, you do need to know and recognize that MILLIONS of people did care for it. They connected to it. They get it. They understood it. 

And saying that "no one cares" means you and ... well, a lot of white people maybe, don't. And that's not true either.  A lot of white people got it and enjoyed it.

Be curious. Be interested. Listen. Learn. And it is okay not to get it. I sure don't sometimes. For sure. But it isn't mine to get. And that's okay. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  No measurable exercise. 6k+ steps by bedtime (took things very easy today)

blood glucose:

8:30am: 146
4:15pm: 109
10:15pm: 91

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: Phentermine
11am: metformin+glipizide
12:30pm: Leftover buffalo chicken dip & celery; leftover beef & veg from chinese food
4:15pm: Entenmann's chocolate donut; 2 good yogurt mixed berry
5:30pm: Metformin & jardiance (on accident. was supposed to be glipizide but I grabbed the wrong pill). 
6:30pm: fajita. chicken, onion, peppers, refried bean dip, sour cream, shredded cheese. 
Wine & ginger ale
8:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts; glipizide