I'm in a mood...

Not necessarily the best of moods. I could make myself happier with some caffeine, or a nap. Not both -- I'd confuse my poor body if I tried to mix those. I'm in a mood because I made a webpage yesterday...

I got hooked up with a friend's mother in law to do their website. I'm donating my time and services to do it. That's not what's got me down. I'm so glad to do it, to take the time and have the ability.

What's got me down is the circumstances that have transpired in life to make this webpage have to be.

It's for a memorial run for a kid who got killed by a drunk driver as he crossed his street in 1995. He was 14, and he was my good friend's brother in law. So the run takes place every July 4th weekend in the Niagara NY area. I'm glad to build them an ass kicking site. I want it to be lovely, beautiful, wonderful.

I did some looking around online for info on the kid, and found a webpage called Donor Moms. It's out of date, but his mom's entered on there his particulars. And seeing all these pictures in a row of kid after kid after kid, mostly teenagers, dead -- and little paragraphs by their moms saying how much they will be loved and missed, that kicked me in the ass so hard this morning.

I mean, what would I do if I lost one of my kids? There's no question in my mind that their organs would be donated. In a New York Minute they'd be, for damn certain. I'm all for that.

Philosophically.

The thing that has me in a mess right now is the concept of losing them. The actual loss of a child. There is no doubt I'd do the right thing and let a living legacy go forward from one of my kids... but I couldn't imagine not having them in my life at all. Or having to bury them.

Meh!

So I'm all schmoopy and verklempt. Email me a joke. Make me laugh.

Speaking of making me laugh, Prof MF bought me the full version of CuSee-Me so I could fill in a missing person for a day when a kid is not in a class session (she still wants to do this... WHY DON'T PEOPLE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN I TELL THEM NOT TO DO SOMETHING!!!!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! sorry. Venting). and I set up a room and no one is coming in and getting naked.

I'm sort of disappointed. I could have used a good laugh. People keep coming in and just ... gawking. Oh well.

Anyway. I'm going to do some housework. MF is calling me after 5pm when she's done with some meeting. Please pray for me that I can convince her to not do this live online crap. It ain't gonna work.