Shot to the Knee

A couple weeks ago, my right knee was hurting a lot so I stopped running, just did walkies, and things got better. Imagine that, dear hearts - when you run the impact on your joints is immense, and when you weigh 190 lbs, that is a lot of boom boom. BOOM. 

I would be limping around in the mornings, and by afternoon it would have worked itself out pain-wise, and I'd run after work, and ouch. Heating pad, ice pack, biofreeze. 

My doctor and I talked about it, she ordered an X-ray and then said that things look okay but if I wanted to get a Cortisone shot she'd make the referral. 

I wanted the Cortisone shot. 

I've had several over the years, mostly before vacations where I knew we'd be walking a ton. And since I'm doing a 5k in real life, not just on the treadmill in my air conditioned house, I wanted to make sure that knee pain was not going to be my reason for flaking out or not doing it or anything. 

The interesting thing is, for the past week or so, it has not hurt at all. But I didn't want to cancel this appointment. We talked about how I've been running and I'm doing a 5k, he seemed a little surprised and I didn't want to shame the fuck out of him for saying "um, yeah, fat people can run a 5k, dude," right before he jammed a needle into my knee. 

I told him how much I used to weigh, how over the years I've managed to lose weight gradually. He asked if I was on wegovy or anything, but I told him our insurance does not cover wegovy or any compound medications. He seemed surprised. I told him I was kind of relieved I'm doing things the way I'm doing things. If I make it to 180, I'll refocus my goal to 175. If that is 2027, so be it. 

But in the meantime, yeah bro. Yeah I'm runnin' a bunch and running a 5k so shoot some cortisone in my knee and make her feel better.

He seemed really cool, and at the end he told me, "you know, you're the nicest patient I've had all week. Maybe ever. But no, there is this one lady, I did her knee replacement and she came back in to meet about her second knee and she hugged me and cried and told me that I saved her life, I've changed her life. She wants to do something for me..."

"Cookies? Can you accept cookies? because heck, I'd take a dozen wonderfully made with love cookies." He laughed and said "that's a great suggestion."

I told him about how I do technical support and one of my clients that I'd never spoken with before accused me of being a bot because I'm too nice, and I maintain composure and approach situations that he is struggling with, and I told him that he deserves kindness. I'm not a bot, and to be honest, ALAN! the guy's name is Alan, To be honest I've been doing this job for 13 years and nothing that I deal with is brain surgery or nuclear war. No one is dying, no one needs an ambulance, and we can get through it all. And don't you call me a bot ever again. 

Traffic sucked going down there, and sucked coming back up. Doug's mom gave him a check when he visited recently, so he wanted me to deposit it. That got me off the highway where the highway was most horrible by 5pm. 

And then where I get back on the highway it is far more reasonable and not congested. 

Alright. Bedtime. It has been a long day and I have some catch up work to do tomorrow to ticket some things to the developers and work on my vacation coverage plan. 

knee feels pretty good. Didn't get a run but took an almost hour walk, and that was great.

digits
exercise: 11/12 hours, missed 3pm due to being stuck in traffic; walk while talking to linda, 53 minutes/2.25 miles; 12k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

8am: 120
n/a pm: n/a
10pm: 222 (why? lol)

food & meds:

8am: jardiance, new meds
1pm: met+glip; tuna salad on small sub roll (about 4 inches) 
5pm: new meds
6pm: one hamburger, a couple french fries
7:30pm: met+glip
red wine & diet ginger

How much lettuce would a woodchuck lettuce if a woodchuck could lettuce lettuce

Farmer Chris is displeased.

Doug was looking out the back door before letting Toffee out this morning and there was this big fat giant woodchuck eating our lettuce right out of the raised bed. 

Sonofabitch. So how am I gonna feed my whole family all winter long on no lettuce? Funny enough, I asked Doug the other day if I should harvest the lettuce and he said no, give it another couple days. 

Well then. 

The woodchuck saw Doug and hid under our shed. Maybe this is why I have not seen the bunny recently, she got evicted by this big ass mofo. 

Toffee and Dijon spent a lot of time sniffin' round the shed last week and I guess I can see now why. 

I went out with her to investigate the lettuce, she sniffed and I huffed. 

I told Doug we need a little fence around this, and he said it is too late now. 

I want to call the wildlife guy that took care of our squirrel situation, Doug seems to want to wait a bit. Not sure why. It isn't like we can cuddle it, or hang out with it. It is not as cute as the bunny. 

There is a rather large hole in my neighbor's fence, overgrown with some of her perennial flowering vines, but for sure that little jerk is moving around between our yards. 

Bah. Madenning. 

I decided that I didn't want a run-in with a woodchuck for Miss Toffee so I reached out to a veterinary clinic. She's due for shots/tests/etc and we've been here almost a year so I bet she's out of date on some of her vaccinations. It is something I've been meaning to do. 

Anyway, I have a horrible hangnail on my right index finger, and that is making typing super uncomfortable. So I'll just post this. More tomorrow, digits below. 

Wednesday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours, Treadmill run 30 min/2.25 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

8:45am: 145
4pm: 79
11pm: 135

food & meds:

8:45am: jardiance, new meds
9am: last 2 cookies; mixed protein shake in with my coffee
4:15pm: cheese and crackers and a little trail mix; new meds
6pm: piece of chicken parm
7:30pm: met+glip
red wine on ice

Thursday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours, treadmill run, 15 min/1.11 mi. dog walk, 17 min/.77 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose: 

7am: 119
5:30pm: 86
10pm: 220* see ice cream below

food & meds:

7am: jardiance, new meds
8am: protein shake mixed in coffee
11:30am: English muffin, one half w/pb and cherry preserves, the other half with butter and cherry preserves (on the recommendation of Doug!)
1pm: met+glip, small bit of the potato salad left over from the weekend (about a cup) 
5:30pm: new meds
6:30pm: small bowl of tortellini, ramekin of ice cream; met+glip
7:30pm: ramekin of normal ice cream

I shall eclipse you - on the loss of Glen Hansard

Damn sad news today. 

Glen Hansard died in a motorcycle crash in Dublin today.

The Guardian has a non-paywalled story if that link does not work. Thanks The Irish Times...

Now, I know I mostly talk about Guster here in my blog, right? You know they are my literal north star. But in my life there are many constellations that interconnect and shine and sometimes they burn out. They mark my pathway through this universe.

Glen Hansard has always been a part of the me soundtrack, from The Frames to Swell Season to his solo work. He just has always been there. 

When a famous person dies, when a musician I love dies, it honestly is usually when they are old and while I mourn the loss, and it hurts, we give thanks and praise for a life well lived, well sung, well done. I am thinking most notably of how we recently lost Bobby Weir from the Grateful Dead. I feel so lucky to have seen him perform so many times. 

But then, there is misadventure. Death by misadventure is an actual term that is often used, I think, mostly in England, for accidental death when someone takes a risk of sorts and there are no other circumstances attached to the death. And this usually befalls someone young. 

And we least expect it, right? 

And by young, 56 is young. Really and truly. A life well lived and sung yes but also the realization now that there won't be more. There will not be more. 

Misadventure, like a motorcycle accident. Like how Glen died this morning. Toxicology results pending, of course. From what I read he was at a pub, a musical night out, and it sounded like a regular open mic or a rather typical Irish Bar kind of thing where the fiddles and guitars get whipped out on a random Tuesday night and everyone has a grand time. 

Motorcycles. A single vehicle crash a few kilometers away from the fun night with friends. 

I've never been a fan of motorcycles to be honest. So many of my friends have them and ride them. But I don't get it. You don't have to take the time to try and describe it to me. 

I don't understand gun ownership or smoking either. Truth be told. I don't understand why anyone would want to own a bunch of guns or would be a teen and start smoking. Make good choices in life, right? 

But motorcycles.... 

I don't understand the desire and draw to be out in the open air with nothing to protect me other than maybe a helmet. Nothing to protect me from cars. Nothing to protect me from myself. Nothing to protect me from losing control and crashing into trees or a fence or whatever. There's nothing to protect you. Maybe you have a nice kevlar jacket, maybe you're wearing protective gear, gloves, leather pants. You're still going to get very badly hurt.

But here we are today. 

We have lost (and I say we because this entire world has lost) a wonderful human, a soul singularly beautiful, a voice for the ages. And it makes no sense. Absolutely no sense. 

What's worse is that it weighs on my soul right now that this is absolutely an unfairly balanced universe, when some walk this earth for ages too long wreaking havoc and ruining lives, and a man who plays guitar and sings and does love and charity suddenly vanishes. 

I spent a good part of the day numb. 

I have read remarks from so many musicians and so many of my friends. I ran on the treadmill and found myself crying to "Fitzcarraldo" and doing ... I'm not kidding, a 12 minute mile while allowing the violin and guitar and Glen to wash over me in such a true and pure way, and feeling every part of that song. 

On Fitzcarraldo... One of my favorite memories was meeting my friend Matt when we both briefly worked together for the publishing company in Newburyport (where I left after 3 months when I got re-hired by my former job and he found out he was being replaced by a friend sending him a job posting for his own job and he called the guy out on that bullshit!) and finding out our shared love for Glen. A true kindred spirit.

And I thought back hard on how unjust and unfair life seems sometimes, you know, when horrible humans just keep living. But it gave me solace. 

When you die, when you are lost to this world, I truly pray that people say things about you that are stunningly moving and profound. And that if you hear people say wonderful things about the world's most horrible humans, that you know they are lies and clanging gongs. 

The tributes to Glen have been so painfully beautiful to read. Fellow musicians, artists, friends of mine, friends of mine who actually knew him. Honestly if only one nice thing is said about me after my death that is half as amazing as what people are sharing about him, that will be a life worth living. 

I won't quote them, you can find them. But honestly, do go search them out. Be like Glen and very unlike many others. Promise me that, dear hearts.

I will let his voice and music speak for itself. 

First though, go listen to this Christmas Eve Busk with Bono and the choir of the audience and read his wonderful words.

Sometimes I would wonder if Glen Hansard really existed….

Seriously, he was such an angelic presence… not otherworldly…in fact, very present this presence…

and I’m telling myself this morning that if he never existed, then he can never cease to exist. For me, he will always be everywhere I see a coin spinning into an open guitar case.

 

The Swell Season, Marketa Irglova and Glen were indeed the Swell Season and won the Best Song Oscar for this song from the movie they starred in "Once."  

This version of Fitzcarraldo with The Frames (the title of this entry comes from the song) is a very favorite of mine.  

This version, from Lollapalooza 2014, with the heartfelt introduction about taking the long way to get to where you need to go... The horns, the broken string on the guitar, the violin...

Fill to him the parting glass, dear friends. Thank you Glen for your voice and life

Oh how it rained

It was a super rainy day here today. Humid morning but a low temperature. Then heating up and turning dark and stormy. 

I had a lot of meetings today, and thankfully the weather didn't knock our power out during the busy parts of the day. I hate when it does that. The rain came straight down. Not an angle to be seen, no wind. Just pouring. Around 4pm we lost power and the lightning felt like it hit the street a block up with a crack of thunder like I've not heard in a very long time. 

Truly a dramatic afternoon!

After it cleared out, around 8pm, it was nice enough for a walk and Doug wanted to take one. He always invites me, and usually I say no but it was super nice after the storm had cleared out and I had no excuses.

I made an appointment for Friday afternoon to get a cortisone shot in my knee so it'll be feeling better hopefully for Maine. 

Kind of hard to believe a week from tomorrow we'll be on our way to the best weekend in the year. 

Didn't get a picture today, so digits are down below! 

digits
exercise: 12/12 hours,  Treadmill run, 25 min/1.81 mi; walk with doug & toffee, 21 min/.96 mi. 12k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

6:45am: 138
4:30pm: 154
10:30pm: 153

food & meds:

6:45am: jardiance, new meds
7am: 2 cookies w/coffee 
11:30am: left over tomato/cuke salad w/ last steak tip; met+glip (may have accidentally taken 2 met? not sure. It also may have fallen off the bureau and into my clean laundry). 
3pm: another cookie (sorry not sorry)
5pm: new meds
6:30pm: geoff's fried rice and steak
7:30pm: met+glip
red wine (no ginger ale) 

Belated Yahrzeit

The other day I was out poking in the garden and cutting some flowers for a little vase that is on the TV table, and I was wondering if I'd missed the anniversary of dad's passing. 

And then suddenly I couldn't remember the date. 

Or the exact year either. I know it was a July. but it all feels ethereal and far far away.

Why does life feel like an absolute blur? I didn't blog anything around the anniversary, and now July is almost over. While I was deadheading the petunias, it occurred to me that I'd missed it.

I mentioned it to my sister and she said she also kind of let it slip from mind as well. But she's been a bit emotional all month because of all the reasons and this would just add to that. We talked about how neither of us called Mom to specifically mark the date. It is different for birthdays since their birthdays were right next to each other, so if you call her on the 7th, you also acknowledge the 8th.

Still, I was disappointed in myself that I didn't remember. 

Year 3 gone by. 

I have some friends who rotate around dates and milestones and they never forget, never ever. They spend days leading up to anniversaries of births and deaths alike, focused on their joy or loss. But that's kind of never been me. 

The memories remain but I don't get so focused on a specific date on the calendar. The loss is the same whether it is a Tuesday in November or it is July 15th. 

Anyway. This morning, again, I was out deadheading the petunias, I thought of him. I don't feel a lot of grief, really. I more just feel a sad and a sort of disbelief that this is life as we know it, three years on without him. 

Work was very busy, I spent a great deal of time writing a help document and an announcement that I should have really had done on Thursday and I'd intended to finish it yesterday but I didn't touch my laptop. I let my boss know that I needed more time and he said that was fine, he'd look at it after 2pm. I don't think he did. 

It is one of those important things that we need to do and have done, but it isn't like a system outage or product down. We just need for people to know and do and get things caught up before we turn off an application that many are still accidentally using. Get them ready. 

I had two meetings with the work bestie. I hit the treadmill and then got a phone call from a co-worker asking for some immediate assistance. "Are you free right now, I could use your eyes..." So I jumped off the treadmill to go help him. 

At about 5 I decided to bake cookies, and Doug came home at 5:30 as the last batch came out of the oven. I usually anxiety bake but I wanted to welcome home bake. Just for him. 

He hasn't talked much about news from the homeland there with mom. Not sure how things went or what was said or anything, but maybe he'll share later. 

I also made dinner, Geoff usually does, but he had gone downstairs after he went to the gym and I got the impression he was napping. Since he cooks all the time for us, I cooked for him. But he did prep for tomorrow's dinner, he makes an interesting fried rice dish, and he used one of the containers of steak tips Jess brought from the north. So dinner tomorrow is ready to go. 

After dinner and clean up, I needed 3k steps to 10k, so I took myself for a walk. I went further than I'd intended but it was a good night to be out and about. Far exceeded the steps I needed in the end. Made up for the short run. 

Tomorrow, Doug has a 7am meeting so I need out of bed. I also have an important site launch in the morning at 10, so I want to actually be showered and looking like a human being for it. 

Toffee was very sad without Dijon but when Doug came home, boy was she thrilled. We had a big cuddle after my walk. She held me hostage. I wasn't mad.

Digits, below. 

digits
exercise: 12/12 hours, Treadmill run, 10 min/0.7 mi; Walk after dinner, 36 min/1.75 mi. 12k+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose: 

8:45am: 118
4:15pm: 129
10:15pm: 103

food & meds:

8:45am: jardiance, new meds
1:30pm: english muffin w/pb; met+glip
4:15pm: handful of peanut butter m&ms
4:30pm: new meds
5pm: 2 chocolate chip walnut butterscotch cookies
5:30pm: small bowl of fettuccini and meat sauce (lots of meat) 
white wine, no available ginger ale

Toffee, Dijon, Face Fight, On Lawn

Title of this post comes from us making huge fun of a song by a country music guy, very very famous country music guy, and his horrible horrible song. I won't mention either of them by name because I don't want people finding this post because they're searching on the person but... Go read this excellent evisceration of said person and said song.  And search for the song if you want to hurt your ears, but sing along with your new lyrics that you make up. 

Two syllables, or one syllable words 2 times, over and over. And boy did we laugh. 

Since this is a two day post, I'll start with Saturday. 

I woke up at about 6:45am, had to pee, and then dogs knew I was up so I fed them and we went outside where they were Toffee, Dijon, Face Fight, On Lawn for quite a while. We headed in and I decided to do the treadmill early, once again thought about going a full 5k but got to a half hour and stopped. 

When I came out, Doug was up, sitting in the living room drinking coffee and looking at his phone. Jess and their friend came out from the guest room, dogs were here in the middle of things face fighting and playing, then crashing and sleeping.

The plan was that Doug would leave in the morning to head to the family reunion up north of Pittsburgh, about a 4 hour drive. He had been dragging his feet and procrastinating. Jess mentioned that it almost seemed like he didn't really want to go. He said they are very perceptive. 

I said to him, honestly, you don't have to go. But I personally kind of think you should because you and your sister should spend time with mom and discuss her plans about the house (long story, she has finally decided it is time to sell the house, and has started talking to a realtor. That discussion did not go well. I will leave it at that). 

He was kind of miffed with me when I also reminded him of the fact there was one meal served this year at 2pm and he should go if he wanted to partake in that.

 In years past, there was an early and late meal, and he knew he'd miss the early, but figured he'd get there at 4 for the late one. I had mentioned this single-meal serving to him a couple weeks ago, that there was one meal... and he didn't remember me telling him that. He said that, and Jess looked at me knowingly "you told him, I know you told him" in their eyes. 

Do not lay your lack of listening to me back at my door like it is my fault you don't know something. Bro, I tell you things. You do not hear me. So he got his stuff organized and hit the road around 11. 

It is the 75th reunion and every year his mom says it is the last. We shall see if she is right. 

Jess and A sat around the living room and we were yapping, chilling, drinking coffee, singing that song. 

Coffee, Chillin', Dog Snores, Alright. 

A wanted to go to a little antique-ish shop. She likes to get a little trinket or doo-dad from each place visited. So I wanted to go to this antiques mill. I called up and they were not open. They are not open kind of ever? Special times? The woman said that they'll be open "sometime maybe mid-August. Oh, okay. I won't be here and for sure A and Jess won't be here. I guess I'll catch them some other time. 

"Did you look us up on Google and it said we're open?"

Yes ma'am, I did. The Googles lied to me, then.

"Yeah. We can't get them to change that. We've tried," she said. "Which is why on our facebook page we say to call ahead. We're retired, we open when we have time." 

I did indeed look at their Facebook, and all the pictures are so pretty, and she posts several times a week with picture captions of next time we're open... 

Sigh. I really wanted to go there myself. So a new plan.

I told them maybe they should head to Frederick. There are some antique malls around here, but I do not think they are open Sundays. And I didn't Eventually they got ready and made an excursion. Frederick was the destination. They asked if I wanted to come, and to be honest that would have been nice but I sort of wanted to just be here. Geoff went to the market and did the shopping, and we meal planned for that night. I wanted to do steak tips on the grill and potato salad, but it was too late to make the potato sald... need to do the eggs and bacon, and I ended up not doing that while he was out. 

Linda called me, and we had a long yap. 

The kids came home from their Frederick jaunt, and they had a grand time. They had lunch at a BBQ joint, did some shopping in town, went to the cute river and bridge thingie in town, and just enjoyed themselves greatly. Jess said Frederick is a must re-visit place next trip out here. Duly noted. 

I mentioned to Jess that it would be nice if they stopped at the dairy/creamery and picked up some milk and Chocky Milk (as they called it) so they did on the way home. It is off the beaten path, and you gotta want to go there for a destination, especially from here, but it is easier to get there from Frederick. 

Since they had big lunch they both were not hungry for dinner, so I didn't grill. Geoff made a dinner he usually makes but he doubled it, in case there was a desire for foods. Not so much. So we have a lot of left over pasta alfredo and chicken. No worries. It'll be good later on. 

After dinner, we sat around and yapped and Jess wanted me to show A some Tiny Desk videos, and suggested we put them on Youtube on the regular TV instead of the computer. So we pulled a few up. Then Jess saw Guster on the menu, and told A about my obsession. I figured I'd show her some things, so we watched Brian play bongos, we watched the ships & dips video from like 18 years ago when Brian couldn't go on the cruise because his wife was having a baby, and they filmed a video that looked like he was calling in by satellite. Hilarious. The Three Rivers Stadium duet with Bill Peduto about snowstorms and dogs and dumpsters. And then I had to show the video of the actual dumpster set they did in Pittsburgh that is referenced in the duet. 

We then watched some Amythyst Kiah. I think we have a new fan there. 

It was getting late, Jess knew that they wanted to get on the road early so ... we packed it in. Our agreement is that one should always leave in the Single Digit hours. And those single digit hours come early. 

Sunday

We got up around 6:45, all of us. Dogs and humans. 

Feed dogs, pack car, breakfast, go home.

Jess asked for an egg mcmuffin because I guess I make the world's greatest breakfast sandwiches. So everyone got one, Geoff too because he came upstairs. 

We sat at the kitchen counter. Doug insisted we buy stools for the counter and I said "no one is ever gong to sit here," so he sometimes very much on purpose does. Then he taunts me "look at me, sitting at the kitchen counter!" Okay. nice. Glad you are doing that. I mentioned this to Jess and A and they both wanted me to take a picture of them for him. 

A's flight out of DC wasn't until 8pm but Jess really needed to be on the road as early as possible. I offered to give A a ride but Jess said nah - they'd go to a metro station in VA, do the drop off, and then Jess would continue north, but do so far away from the 95 corridor. We've all grown to prefer driving up through Pennsylvania that way. You barely touch New Jersey. It's fantastic. 

A said she can self-entertain. She was going to check her bag, and walk around downtown DC. Maybe go over to the zoo. Maybe just find a neighborhood. Who knows. The day belonged to her and she would do what she wanted with it. 

And they did leave in the Single-Digit hour of 9:40 am. Well done. 

The rest of the day was quiet. 

Toffee, big sad, on couch, sleepin'

Without Dijon here, it was quiet and very still, no wrasslin' no face fighting no chaos. And Toff slept the entire day. Geoff did take her for a walk, she deserved a treat. 

I hit the treadmill at 2-ish, and committed to a 5k. Slow! I felt like it took forever to get to 2.75 miles and then oh my lord-a-rama I gotta make it to 3.1! Gah! 

Ran more than I walked, but ran slow. My pace was mostly in the 14+ min/mile range. But hey. Done! 

I made potato salad and seasoned up some steak tips Jess brought from New England. I also made a nice tomato, cucumber, bleu cheese salad and put red wine vinaigrette on it. What a great meal. Way more than I should have eaten, especially in the potato salad department. But she was so tasty. 

When Doug isn't here, I kind of don't watch TV. I yapped again with Linda and Jess called from the Mass Pike, and then checked in once they were home around 10:30. Long trip with the extra taking the friend to the Metro. I mean, I did offer, right? 

I didn't vacuum today so I will probably try and do that in the morning? Maybe? I also have to get blood work done. Again. So I am going to flex time the hours tomorrow. Not sure what time Doug will be home, but Geoff is working and I'll have to wait for one of the two of them to get back. 

Digits for two days below! Pics of Jess and A. 

Saturday digits
exercise: 11/12 hours,  somehow missed 7pm while sitting yapping. Treadmill, 32 min/2.17 mi. 11k+steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

7am: 203
5pm: 179
11pm: 111

food & meds:

7am: jardiance, new meds
throughout the morning: lots of ritz crackers nibbling
1pm: met+glip; roast beef & giant tomato slice on potato roll
through the afternoon: trail mix snacky
5pm: new meds
6pm: bowl of cheesy pasta alfredo w/diced chicken
wine and diet ginger ale

Sunday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours,  treadmill, 5k/3.11 mi - 46 minutes; 14,000+ steps bybedtime

blood glucose: 

8am: 190 (? why?)
4pm: 99
10pm: 95

food & meds:

8am: jardiance, new meds
8:45am: english muffin w/pb & full sugar j (small amount)
(a little chocolate milk in my coffee after noon-ish)
1pm: met+glip
4pm: some peanut butter M&Ms and some crackers
6pm: steak tips, tomato/cucumber/bleu cheese salad; potato salad
7pm: met+glip
white wine w/diet ginger ale

Jess' Guest is Our Guest

Jess stayed down here longer than they usually do, because they have a friend who was in DC attending a conference. They asked if it would be okay for their friend to come here for a couple days and stay until it was time for her to go to the airport on Sunday. We said of course! 

On Thursday, Jess went and picked her up at the metro, they drove over to Virginia to a Dinosaur park (Jess had been there before but her friend A wanted to check it out). They had a blast, then went up to Winchester VA (a town where we looked to move to, but couldn't find the right place). Doug and I had let them know it was a great little town, so lunch was needed, and they had a good walk about. Then they came back here late in the day, after dinner time. 

Jess' friend is darling, very very sweet, and we sat on the patio until late just having a big yap. Doug made drinks, mixologist that he is, and it was a lot of fun. 

The dogs played like crazy, everything was perfect. The weather has been spectacular, almost like late September. I think we're getting spoiled. 

Both Doug and I had to work today, but the kids were off. They slept until about 11, and then hung out in the living room with me while I worked. Surprisingly, I got plenty of things done even though there was plenty of time for yapping. I have to do one thing that I didn't fully accomplish this week, and write an announcement and link to help documents. I also kind of want to make a video on how to do the thing that needs done, and I should have time to do that on Sunday. 

Tomorrow Doug is going up to Pennsylvania, his family reunion is Saturday so he's going to surprise his mom. Even though she poohpoohed him from coming last year, and then this year she said she NEVER told him he shouldn't come and that everyone asked after him. And last week she poohpoohed him coming and said he didn't have to come. 

So he's going. And she may freak out. Because she probably does not have the guest room made up for him and it'll be TOO MUCH! and she'll be upset. I told him if that's the case get a hotel. 

Jess is taking her friend to the airport on Sunday and then will head north and home. 

I miss them already.

The other night, I couldn't download any pictures to my laptop, nothing would cooperate so here are pictures that I wanted to share! All in one post! 2 days of digits below! 

Thursday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours,  Treadmill, 15 min/1.05 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

8:45am: 136
5pm: 150
11pm: 108

food & meds:

8:45am: jardiance, new meds
9am: blueberry muffin
1pm: bowl of mac & cheese w/extra cheese; met+glip
3:45pm: new meds; ramekin mixed nuts
6pm: small bowl of chicken and rice
7:30pm: met+glip
white wine, red wine, diet ginger ale

Friday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours,  treadmill run, 20min/1.41 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

8:30am: 108
4:45pm: 90
10pm: 222 *close to dinner & met/glip. will come down

food & meds:

8:30am: jardiance, new meds
9am: blueberry muffin (the last one!)
1pm: met+glip; tiny slice of seeded bread w/pb
4pm: part of a ramekin of mixed nuts
5:15pm: new meds; chunk of cheddar cheese
6pm: several ritz crackers
8:30pm: buffalo wings, crab dip & crostini, fish & chips (only a few chips) 2 beers; met+glip

Porch Life and Sangria

Big product outage today, lots of drama. Very stupid day work wise but overall, an amazingly fun time with the family. 

We went up to High Rock and Pen Mar Park with Jess. Doug has been wanting to go up there to see the sunset, and tonight it did not disappoint. 

We wanted to stop at a brewery on the way back, but they don't open until tomorrow at 3pm. They lost out on having us as customers. 

Lucky for us, I whipped up two carafes of sangria, a white and a red, before we left. So they were here waiting for us. Huzzah. 

Doug headed to the TV and Jess and I headed to Porch Life. I chastised him, and he came out to join us. 

Porch life rocks, y'all. 

I didn't get any pictures because the phone was in the house on the charger but we sat out and talked about A.I. Translation and how it is a failure, The Regular Show, Jess' friend who is coming to stay with us tomorrow, fun things for Jess to do with her tomorrow. Doug made more sangria after we killed the two carafes I made, and his was decidedly more "fun" than mine. 

Like I said, great day. Stupid work. Tomorrow might be some more stupid. But we'll survive. Still having internet problems with this laptop, so pictures maybe tomorrow? who knows. I did manage to get that one there of Doug uploaded. 

Digits, below!

digits
exercise: 12/12 hours,  quick treadmill just to fit it in (glad I did!) 15 min/1.13 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

7:15am: 146
4:30pm: 154
11pm: 153

food & meds:

7:15am: jardiance, new meds
through the morning, some crackers
1:15pm: 2 blueberry muffins, met+glip
2pm: english muffin w/pb
5pm: new meds
6pm: bowl of cheese tortellini; sangria
more sangria. no snacks

Deluge

I may have found the sweet spot in the getting ready and on the road process. Up at 5:45, showered, dressed and out the door by 6:20. I was at my desk by 8:30, and I even walked a bit further/longer than usual, just to get some extra steps in.  I was in town, meeting friends at the office for an important event, and it is an earlier event than my office usually does the event, so they arrived around 10:30/10:45. Part of me thought about staying at S's house by the metro last night, another part of me even considered coming down and staying at the little hotel I stayed at during the conference. 

But I couldn't justify 200 bucks to just not have to schlep early. 

The cafe in our building has exquisitely excellent food, and this morning they were cheffing up pancakes with either chocolate chips and a sauce or blueberries with a compote. 

Damn, they looked good. But, I passed. The parfait that I bought was decent, and saved for a while so I'd have something in my belly and not have to wait until 1pm or so to eat. 

I had a really great day at the office. My boss is back from vacation and he's full of questions about things he got email on so he's peppering me with "did you handle this? is there an update on that? who was looped in on this one?" I also did a little bit of an overstep on something and he asked me to stand down on it, that technically it isn't my job, that the guy on parental leave was supposed to do it, and now his manager is the point person for taking care of the thing, and that they'll be discussing what is to be done in their 1:1 today. 

Okay. He doesn't necessarily know that the manager asked for my help on it, and hopefully he'll find that out and it's all good in the hood, as it were. 

Around 3pm I decided to hit the road, but I ran into one of my former colleagues from our Boston office who left and "Wandered the Wilderness" and ended up back with us. Thankfully. He's just the best. I absolutely love him. 

And we talked for 90 minutes. Shit. Okay. He had a 4:30 meeting he had to attend, and I really should have already been almost all the way home. 

I paid for it. Boy did I pay for it. 

The way that Waze has been sending me down in the morning was the way I wanted to go back, even if it was 10 minutes longer. I'm sick of I-270 and what a shit show the traffic is, so, 2 lane roads for me! At least, in the spring, summer, and fall. I doubt very much I'd go this way in the cold months. 

I got to my metro station, the red line was delayed due to switch problems. Nice. I do not miss that. So I walked back and forth on the platform and felt the fitbit vibrate. 5:15pm and your girl hit the 10k steps post already. Nice! 

I sat down on one of the benches and a lady asked me what I was doing, so I told her. She said to her friend, "See, she knows how to do it! When I'm home I get... 1000 steps a day! I just sit on my ass but coming to the metro, and walking to my office I'm hitting about 6k!" We congratulated ourselves and talked about strategy. She said it was too damn hot to walk on the platform today but she loved that I was doing it. 

The train finally came, and by the time we got to my stop, it was pouring out. Nice. Okay. Fun. Then, I couldn't remember what level I parked the car on. So I walked up to level 4/5, and then down to 3/4. and then down the stairs to the main level and up the ramp to 2/3. Oh there you are. Okay! Another decent walk but now it is about time to get home. 

I headed up the back roads way, and got north of the breweries and started heading to I-70, 16 miles... and it was a horror show. Trees down. Water on the roads. A couple times I questioned my sanity but if that little honda in front of me made it, my old Volvo will? Maybe? 

There is a gas station just south of 70 and I needed gas, so we filled up, and I went inside. I was pretty hungry at this point. It was almost 7 and I ate lunch at 1:15. They have fried chicken at this place, and I thought well heck, I'll get two pieces of chicken. How bad can it be.

They were actually amazing. For as late in the day as it was, I thought maybe they'd be all dry and stupid but no. Perfection. 

Onward. I waited until after 7 to get rolling back to the highway, I should have stayed there and done the 7pm steps. 

The highway was equally horrible. It was the kind of rain where if you're sitting still, it seems like no big deal, but you start moving and it is sheets and sheets of rain! How did this happen! 

Doug called twice, and I don't answer the phone while I'm driving, so, I kept going and by the time I made it 25 miles further west out of this vicious band of storms, it was better. In fact, the sun was peeking through at the horizon, blinding the fuck out of me. 

So rain blinded me for 2 hours and now the sun is going to try and kill me too. Great. Thanks Sky! you're the best! 

I got home and Doug had just got back with pizza. I ate one slice, and came up to bed. Exhausted.  Anyway. Maybe if there is another nice thing happening at my office I will stay with S. She always offers. I should take her up on that. 20 minute train commute or 3 hour fire and brimstone commute. Which to choose, which to choose. 

Oh - I wanted to show C my new sneakers. I bought 2 pairs. Go me. Still getting used to them but. Here's my feets!

Digits below.

digits
exercise: 11/12 hours,  missed 7pm by a few min. 3 measurable walks but my phone is all the way over there. 13k steps by bedtime. boom.

blood glucose: 

5:45am: 107
n/apm: n/a
9pm: 127

food & meds:

5:45am: jardiance, new meds
10am: yogurt parfait w/granola, strawberries, blueberries
1:15pm: pork loin, cauliflower, gravy, mashed potatoes; met+glip
6:45pm: 2 pieces of High's Fried Chicken. Met+glip, 2 peanut butter cups; coke zero.
8:15pm: slice of chicken alfredo pizza. Bite of calzone. it didn't taste good. 
no alcohol

The Early House Hours

I woke up at 6:20 and had to pee. 

But of course, I knew if I went downstairs there were two dogs who would be on to me, and would notice it is light out, which means brekkie and awakeness. Both of them ended up sleeping with Jess, even though Toffee started with us. She loves the guest room, and she had no problem inviting herself up to sleep with Jess and Dijon. 

I prepared for that inevitability, that they'd find it morning-time, and it was exactly as I thought. 

Toffee came out when she heard me come out of the bathroom, Dijon took a little while but when she heard the scoop hit the dog food it was on. 

They both danced and danced, I really should video them and how happy they are for brekkie! 

After they ate, they went outside. Instantly a bullet to the Walnut tree to chase the squirrels up. It is not even 6:30am and they are on patrol at top speed. Toffee is quiet but Dijon is a barker, and she read those squirrels to filth. I don't really care, considering how often the dogs next door wake me up at like 5 am. Fair game.

It was actually nice and cool out, so I got my coffee and sat out for a while, watched them play and enjoy the morning. 

They wanted to come in and that was disappointing. I honestly could have sat out there for quite a while. The wrasslin' and face fighting and tug-o-war began in earnest indoors.  

Busy workday for all of us. Geoff was at work and had to be there at 5am. Jess brought their computer gear down so they worked in the dining room. 

I got the makings for the potato salad going at around 11am. I hard boiled the eggs and did the potatoes, I harvested parsley and dill and tossed it in there. All of that was combined and chilling in the fridge. The bacon is last to add to the mix.  I really love making this potato salad, and I'd eat the entire thing if common sense didn't grab hold of me and stop me. Still. Oh my god yes. so good. I grilled bratwurst that Geoff had picked up, rather than wait for him to come up and do it. I was getting hungry! Normally he starts dinner at like 4, but with working super early, I think he comes home and naps. 

Jess and I sat outside on the porch for quite some time until it started to get buggy and bitey. Well after 8pm, almost 9. This is my favorite time of year. The fireflies were spectacular and Toffee and Dijon laid in the grass and just soaked in the scenery, being part of the scenery themselves. 

My tired ass managed to make it to 11pm, but I will be up early to go to the office tomorrow, again. Another special thing to go see happening, and I have to say as much as I love these special things, I wish they didn't happen as frequently. I've been to the office more times this year than all the years since 2020 I think. Gah! 

Anyway, here are some sleepy dogs who played and played a lot. Digits below! 

digits
exercise: 12/12 hours, Trot w/toffee into Treadmill run to continue: 17 min/1.17 mi; 11k+ by bedtime

blood glucose: 

6:30am: 108
4pm: 143
10:45pm: 97

food & meds:

6:30am: jardiance, new meds
11:30am: small bowl of mac&cheese w/bacon
12:30pm: met+glip
4:15pm: 2 slices of super seeded bread w/pb & a lil'bit of blackberry jam
6:30pm: 2 bratwurst, cup of potato salad w/bacon/egg the way I make it
white wine w/polar seltzers
8:45pm: new meds, met+glip (new meds should have been closer to 5pm but I forgot)

The visit of Misty John and the Kid

Jess and Dijon got here around 6 something. I had taken myself out for sneaker shopping and a pedicure. Success on both fronts. 

Geoff made some sort of beef enchilada (sp?) dish and we all chowed down on it. I am kind of glad we didn't have more wine in the house, that kept me from just ... over enjoying. 

The dogs are outrageous. Toffee kind of attacked Dijon when she came in the house, I should have had Jess wait on the porch and we should have gotten Toffee harnessed up for a team walk, and then gone straight into the backyard. Oops. No harm, no foul, and everyone went out back and had a fun time. 

They literally played non-stop until 10pm, and crashed. Tomorrow, the chaos will begin again!

Here's a dog, enjoying porch life even if she is a little blurry. Digits below! 

digits
exercise: 12/12 hours, Short treadmill trot, 15 min/1.07 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

9:45am: 165
5pm: 118
10:30pm: 88

food & meds:

9:45am: jardiance, new meds
2:45pm: 4 little cracker peanut butter sandwiches, met+glip
5pm: new meds
6:30pm: small bowl of enchiladas, one glass of vinho verde

The Right Amount of Drunkening Fluids

Today is 2 weeks since I started the new meds, and technically I'm down 4 pounds, well. As long as I've pooped? Pooping is the important part. I mean, I've shared WAYYYYYYY too much info here but the new meds constipate me a bit? and. Well. Yeah. Once I go, there is a noticeable difference in pounds. 

Anyway. 

Today I started what she prescribed for one week in: do the meds in the morning for one week, and then add in the 2nd dose. But. I waited an additional week.  With her guidance. 

We're moving forward. 

Morning and evening doses, let's see how things go. Wish me luck. 

Today Doug said he was not feeling well. We have a bunch of stuff we need to do before Jess gets here tomorrow, but he was in the guest room hogging up space. I didn't want to vacuum, so I did a bunch of other tasks. 

He did say at about 1 that he wanted for us to go out and get peaches, so we went to the farm that we literally have struck out at so many times. Not open on Sunday (duly noted), on a Saturday - closed because they had zero things to sell because the April Frost fucked up their everything. 

Today, they were open. The peaches and nectarines were so fucking expensive, I even gasped a bit when I saw the prices. But we bought some, to support. They've had a shitty year. 

And the fruit was and is lovely. 

Home, and I took a nap. I normally don't nap but the second dose of the medication was making me sleepy. 

Geoff was headed to a concert in Baltimore tonight. I looked up the headliner, the band he is actually going to see, oh my god. they go on at 10:50pm. 

Jesus. 

I'm such a fan of 7pm shows, where the headliner comes on at 8 or 8:30pm. And at 10:50pm I can be sleeping. 

So I am slightly anxious about him coming home. late. It is a long trip from Baltimore, 90 minutes. So he won't be home until late, and I'm trying not to be my mom. Be Careful... be careful.

Anyway. I was actually napping when he left, I heard him talk with Doug and heard the door close. So I didn't get to do "be careful," and I don't do that. I say things like "hey I hope you have a GREAT time!" and in my heart I pray be careful. 

He is such a good guy, I know he'll be fine. He knows not to drink too much or at all. If he is there with another person and that person is driving (cough cough he never is) He knows to not booze it up. He just wants a night of loud crazy dark metal and noise. So happy for him to be able to go and enjoy. 

I asked Doug what he wanted to do for diner, if he wanted to just eat a mess of leftovers. 

"Nah, that sounds like no fun. Let's go out." 

Oh. I did not expect that. Okay. 

We got clothes on and he said he wanted to go to this place in town, but I'd never heard of it. And when I googled it, that wasn't it. 

Turns out the place sold in June. And rebranded under a new name. But okay. Let's go. 

We got there and a band was setting up, and holy shit they were loud. Sound check, this loud? no. I'm not staying. The bartender said they didn't start until 8pm, and I said "Oh okay it is 6, we 'll be gone before they start." 

The sound check went on and on, and it was almost enough for me to look at Doug and say "I'm walking home, bye." 

There was a little lady at the end of the bar next to Doug, her name was Debbie, and she started chewing Doug's ear. She's there every night. She said "yeah, this band is great but they are the loudest band." 

No joke, Debbie. 

A lady sat next to me, and she was younger than me and very pretty. Her name is Shannon. I asked her if this place used to have a different name and then changed. She said yeah! The owner wanted to sell, and one of the staff bought it, did a deep clean refurbish and rebrand. But all the regulars still show up, and things are going great. 

Unlike my mom's "familiar" which changed hands an then sucked ass totally. It seems everyone is happy with this new arrangement.  

We had a good dinner, a couple beers and yes, we left before the band really started their noise. 

When we got home, I was the right amount of alcohol-infused and happy. So I baked cookies. I've been threatening to bake oatmeal cookies for days. So I did it. I didn't want to drink more beer, so I got the Kahlua out and finished off the milk. Will regret that in the morning. But we have a little half and half to get me awake alert and alive with my coffee. 

The cookies came out amazing. 

Digits below the very good advice from the wall at the bar.

digits
exercise: 11/12 hours, slept through 4pm with a nap.  Treadmill, 20 min, 10k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose: 

8:00am: 150
5pm: 95
10:30pm: 180

food & meds:

8:00am: jardiance, new meds
1pm: met+glip; english muffin w/pb and j *full sugar but small bits
6:30pm: 2 smash burger patties w/cheese, no bun, 3 beers; french fries
5:30pm: new meds (2nd dose levels, 2nd week)
7:45pm: met+glip
8pm: baked cookies - so some cookie dough for taste
9:30pm: oatmeal chocolate chip cookie and Kahlua & milk cocktail(s)

Magnets and Smoke

Yesterday I published a post that is kind of a stand alone entry. Not a blog entry really but. Fiction. This entry was meant to be the Thursday normal entry but, I fell asleep and forgot to write. So you get a twofer Friday. 

When I chatted with M the other day, we talked about magnets and I told her about my refrigerator. I took some pictures for her and she was highly entertained. I think I'll get her some magnets for her collection. 

Yesterday I was up at 6am and took it easy in the morning but hit the treadmill at 8. Getting that out of the way is kind of a great thing. I was at 10k before 9pm. Broke 11 on the way to bed. I am usually pleased if I get to 2k by noon! 

I should do that more often but I am not a morning person. So not a morning person. 

Everyone has been really freaking out about the air quality, thanks to the Canadian wildfires. Our AQI (Air Quality Index) is 238 today which is super shitty. Like, far over and above the usual "eh, this is bad" levels. 

This morning, Doug and I both sat out on the patio (gasp!) and felt like yeah, it's hazy but it isn't ... that bad? He went inside and I did some work but after about an hour I was feeling it in my eyes. Okay, bad air, you win. You win. 

We are supposed to get some big storms tomorrow, which maybe will help out but nothing will help until Canada stops being on fire. Poor Canada. I feel for you. I love you very much. I wish you weren't on fire. 

Also, Colorado. 

People in the East have little or no concept about these things until they happen. I was woefully disappointed in ALL of the news coverage because all it did was bitch about our air here. There was no reporting on how people in Canada are doing. I went and found stories about entire neighborhoods burning down, and a horse farm losing their horses and everything because there was no way on earth they could evacuate all the horses. Terrible. 

I think my entry yesterday is also wrapped up in my feelings about how we see situations. Are we self-centered/only regionally focused or can we branch out our awareness and think "yeah this sucks but ... wow over there look at that shit." 

Flip the empathy switch to on. 

Geoff did take Toffee for a walk, which she needed because she is crazy full of energy. I told him not to take her long, or far, for her sake and for his. I showed him the map. He got the message. 

It could be worse. I could be in Pittsburgh. 

I'm happy to stay inside. I did go out and water the garden last night while talking to Linda. That seems to be my outdoor activity lately. And I'm alright with that. I want to go out later and harvest some stuff from the garden, so I'll be doing that and we'll have all our wee tomatoes and maybe some squash ready! 

Jess is coming this weekend and I can't wait. I love when Jess visits, and I hope that we have a lot of fun with dogs and each other! Hopefully the air will clear up. 

Lin and I chatted and I walked on the treadmill while we did that so I got extra time. Since it is so gross out, it was nice to have some more walkies and chat. 

Here are the magnets! And the Thursday and Friday digits are below!

Thursday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours Treadmill, early morning! 30 min/2.09 mi. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

6am: 118
3:15pm: 133
10:30pm: 131

food & meds:

6am: jardiance, new meds
11am: chicken salad (about 1.5 cups) no bread
1pm: met+glip; big handful of candied mixed nuts 
3:15pm: last piece of banana bread
5:15pm: slice of sourdough toast
6:30pm: nachos; red wine+diet ginger ale; met+glip
7pm: met+glip

Friday digits
exercise: 12/12 hours Treadmill run, 20 min/1.44 mi (tired, hot); walking treadmill w/linda on phone, 30 min/1.3 mi; 11k steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

8:30am: 121
4:30pm: 99
11pm: 110

food & meds:

8:30am: jardiance, new meds
2pm: chicken thigh w/ guac. met+glip
4:45pm: 2 small sourdough slices w/butter, toasted
6:30pm: Creamy cheesy pasta w/ broccoli, shrooms, chicken; vinho verde on ice
7:30pm: met+glip

There but for the grace of God

I wrote this based on a discussion with someone about how pissed they are about the Canadian wildfire smoke blanketing the Eastern Seaboard. It isn't as bad in the DC area as what I've seen in New England. 

And it also made me think, crap. It certainly is an inconvenience but all my life could be burned down in Canada. And that would extra suck. I pointed this out to the other person and he was none too kind back at me. I think he lacks an empathy gene anywhere in his body. 

I haven't written a thing like this in a long time. 

How many times have you (or I) been stuck in traffic. Nothing is moving, or it is at a very basic crawl. Progress by inches is hard fought. You're not really late for a thing, you don't have a tub of ice cream in the groceries in the way back but you just want to get the hell home. It isn't the usual time for traffic to be this gianormously sucky. But it is. 

You curse under your breath or maybe with your full voice. You don't let that guy in the BMW in after he flew down the breakdown lane. "That guy," you say, "Fuck that guy." 

Eye contact, that's what you want. You want him to see your massive bitch face as you cling to the bumper of the Dodge van in front of you, only his windows are fiercely tinted. Maybe you can't see him but you make sure he can see you, buddy. 

Eventually, you approach the area where the hold up is. There are emergency vehicles everywhere, Fire trucks, Ambulances, Cops. A helicopter is landing. 

Jesus, a helicopter? Oh no. 

One lane of traffic is getting by on the very far right side of the highway. A couple cops are trying to get the four lanes to three, down to two, and down to that one. The cop glares at the BMW guy in the breakdown lane, he's got his number and if he could he would write that up. You, and that cop, you get it. 

As the helicopter comes down, no one gets to go forward. They wait for the whirlybird to be on the terra firma, and then sweeping arms they send cars up the highway. Everyone spreads to the far left so they can slam on the accelerator and get the fuck out of there. 

You stay in the second lane from the right, you're feeling big things. 

Jesus, a helicopter? What the hell must be going on for those poor people. 

You saw three cars, one upside down in the median, in the wildflowers that are chaos gardened into the space each year and there are signs telling the mowers not to mow this down. It is for the pollinators, and for beautification. 

Three cars means at least three drivers, three humans, maybe kids, maybe friends, maybe a dog. The carnage of the speed machines is everywhere:  the chrome bent all to hell; broken glass and plastic; and all sorts of liquids from inside the vehicles. 

The next exit is yours, which is why this location was infuriating to you. But now you know that could be your neighbor. Do you recognize that blue Honda Fit in the wreck? Is that the guy that lives two blocks over? He's got kids. You've seen them. 

Suddenly your anger about the traffic jam and the time "wasted" has turned to sober realization, and deep empathy. You were so mad, so enraged. But there are people who are probably dead or dying, or in a world of hurt and facing a monstrously horrible recovery. Maybe they'll never be the same again after today. 

Home. Grab the backpack off the back seat and the 6 pack of beer you stopped to get at that store where the prices are just right, even if he is a little out of the way. By now the beer is warm but you pop a top off as you drop your keys into the basket on the kitchen counter. The dog welcomes you enthusiastically, the way she always does. 

Now is when you cry. 

The dog is what gets you. 

Maybe someone's dog is going to be waiting for their best friend. And their best friend isn't going to be coming home. 

You open the back door and let her out, you stand there with your warm beer and watch her take that big dump that she takes because she's waited all day for this. Then she runs and plays, brings you the backyard toy to throw. Halfheartedly, you do. 

And you cry more.

It crosses your mind that you were so angry, so pissed off, and yet what for. Why? Would it be different if the traffic was caused by one of those super old trees that you think could fall down any day now? Or if it was a road crew getting ready for night work so they've shut down three of the four lanes with cones and flashing lights? They'll be out there all night while you're home watching BritBox comedies and eating that left over Thai food from last weekend. 

This is different, because lives are possibly lost, but. No. It is the same. It's not a good reason to be furious. It's just traffic sometimes and you have no control over that so getting worked up and aggressive is useless, futile. An absolute waste of your energy. 

You know your brain, it isn't as easy as just saying "Oh look at this horrible situation and think it could be worse! It could be raining!" But you know your minor frustration is actually someone's worst day ever. And you need to learn to activate that empathy gene once in a while, in advance. Not when you roll up on a car wreck. 

The dog is tired and now she wants to eat so you head on in. You call your girlfriend. 

You call your mom.

Sun Tea

When you were a kid, did you make sun tea? Get a glass pitcher and dump a mess of tea bags in it, cover up the pitcher and stick it out in the sun? Then drink your bounty? 

We have a couple gallon glass jugs from a local creamery, and one of them is always a perpetual zero sugar drink dust lemonade or peach lemonade or whatever mix. The other sits in the dining room, waiting to be swapped into duty while its brother goes through the dishwasher. 

Doug had suggested we make some sun tea during the giant heat wave around July 4th weekend and I never got around to it. Today, my internet connection was constantly failing and kicking me offline. I had the worst "I want to punch technology in the face" kind of rage, so I walked away and got 8 tea bags out and cut a bunch of peppermint out of our pot, and went for it. 

I set the glass container out in the sunniest, hottiest part of the patio, and completely forgot about it. Around 9pm, Doug asked how it came out. 

Well. 

I went out and got it, and it was delightful. Absolutely wonderful. Strong, minty, refreshing. Aaaaah. 

If tomorrow my internet is shitty, first, I'm calling the provider. Then, I'm going to a local bookstore/coffeeshop to try and work. I have no morning meetings, so my plan is up early, see how things go, have a hissy fit, and then go somewhere else and see if it is any better. 

Doug and Geoff both are telling me they don't have problems. 

And right now, after 10pm, everything is working well. I've not been kicked off even once. The hell? 

I do not think it is too many of us on one service, we've been here since September, and have not had any issues until today. But honestly, I can't work like this. It sucks. 

Rage. 

Geoff is working tomorrow, he has to be at some store at 6am and opted not to go in the van with the crew, but drive himself. Doug pointed out that you get paid for travel time to and from when you are with the team but not when you drive yourself. So I am wondering why he wants to drive? Maybe he isn't getting along with someone on the team? It's only been a week or so since he started this job, so I hope he's okay. He doesn't like to talk about conflict. Fold a little napkin for him to sit at a table in your heart and keep him in your thoughts. He has about 6 weeks until school starts. I just want it to go well, ya know?

Digits below my glorious before and after Sun Tea photos. 

exercise: 12/12 hours Treadmill, 30 min/2.07 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

8:30am: 127
4:15pm: 173
10:30pm: 141

food & meds:

8:30am: jardiance, new meds
1pm: 6 little round cracker pb sandwiches; met+glip
2pm: slab of banana bread
6:30pm: some sort of chicken with bleu cheese and caramelized onions quesadilla thing by geoff
7:30pm: met+glip; small bowl of mixed nuts; red wine (2 glasses w/ice) 

Yes I am alive!

Took a bloggy break for a couple days. Sunday was a blur. I ran 5k on the treadmill on Sunday so that's good. Doug watered the garden, and that was lovely to see happen. 

Yesterday I went to the office, I got a crappy night's sleep on Sunday so it was a chore getting up and out the door. I was up at 5, showered, dressed and ready. I needed to get back in the bathroom, but Geoff was getting ready for work. So. I laid down on the bed in the guest room with the dog, and fell fully asleep. Doug came down at 8am and said "did you change your mind about going to the office?"

Uh, nope. 

Made it out the door in 20 minutes, proud of myself. But also disappointed in myself because I knew it was going to take forever to get to the office. And it did. 

I arrived at 10:30, so a full solid 2 hours of transport is a regular expectation. What's cool is the Waze didn't send me the usual path, it sent me down a 2 lane road off I-70, straight down south to the metro. I loved it. On the way home, I was sorely tempted to stop at the Brookville Beer Farm and get some take-away beer but I really wanted to get home. Waze tried to take me back the "usual" way, up 270, but it would be the same amount of time to go the long way, the 2 lane road way. I kind of think I'm doing this from now on. Screw the highway. 

I've been trying to have time to chat with my friend S about our Maine trip, and she lives so close to the metro where I parked my car. I should have gone over to visit but I knew I'd be there forever. I think I want to use her place as a crash pad next Monday because there's another good reason to go into the office next Tuesday, and it's nice to have the relaxation of not driving 2 hours, trying to work, and driving back.

When I got home last night, I was straight up exhausted. It was after 7:30, dinner was cold but easily reheated. I ate, I crashed. Done. It felt so good to sleep. S texted me at 9:45 and I heard it ping but saved it for today to reply to. 

I don't want her to think I hate her, I just need to like, schedule chat time and not be distracted by dishes or treadmill, or vegging out in front of the TV, or falling asleep. She's a night owl, I could call her at 10, 11, and she'd be awake and ready to chat but wow. I'm not that person anymore. If I'm up past 11, it's a surprise. 

Anyway. 

Today was a great day. Doug had to go to the office, and he didn't get home until after 6. We talked about how very glad we are that we don't have to do this often.

I baked a banana bread, which brought him great joy. "I saw those bananas on the counter," he said, "I hoped this would happen."

And it was an exceptionally good banana bread!

We had a meeting with a client, a successful site launch. I made a joke last week in our check in that we should all wear funny hats, and I showed up without a funny hat. So I had to grab my Guster rainbow hat quickly to jump in. 

Sometimes I have a client who is just a joy to work with, and these folks were indeed joyful. Made for the best time ever. I want to share the screenshot of our zoom call, but. everyone's name is on their screens so, not gonna do that. 

I was working a little bit around 8 and M called, (Jess' bestie) we hadn't chatted in forever, not since a small check-in after her wedding. We ended up talking for two hours. I like when that happens. Anyway. 

Hey it actually IS 11, and I'm still up? Going to bed. 

Skimping on the Sunday and Monday Digits. but filling in what I remember. I do remember lunch at the office on Monday was so good. I miss going into the office. 

Sometimes.  

digits

exercise: Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday 12/12 hours each day.
Treadmill on Sunday for 3.2 mi/42 minutes; no treadmill Monday but a measured walk 9 min/.5 mi in DC. Tuesday, Treadmill 25 min, 1.75 mi. 
12k+ Sunday
10k+ Monday
11k+ Tuesday

blood glucose: 

Monday 5am: 84
Monday 4pm: 151
Monday night, 10pm: 118

7:45am: 97
5pm: 171
11pm: 119

food & meds:

7:45am: jardiance, new meds
10am: last donut
2pm: slab of banana bread
2:30pm: chicken salad; met+glip
6pm: bowl of fetuccini (not a lot) with meat sauce (a lot); red wine (not a lot, and with ice cubes)
7pm: met+glip

More Fun Tomorrow

I went to bed on the rather late side of things last night (after midnight, which is super late for me...). I could not fall asleep for the life of me. Struggled! I think it was about 3:30 and my still wide awake ass schlepped down to the bathroom and stayed down in the guest room. Decided on a podcast to listen to, and after another hour, fell asleep. I woke up to part 2 of the tale of the Amityville Horror, which I knew most of the story, having grown up not too far away, but it is still always fascinating to listen to. 

After I did manage to fall asleep, I slept in a bit, not too horribly, but still when you're aiming for 10k steps a day and you pretty much miss the first two hours of the day which can be close to 1000 steps, that'll hobble ya. Toffee had found me, and we were deep in snuggle. No hurry to get up. No hurry at all.

There were helpdesk things to do. I was waiting for an email from a third party provider for some content and they obviously honor the weekend and do not work on Saturdays. Bless them. My colleague assigned a bunch of tickets to me, so them being fresh and new and looking at me - I gave replies and took care of some "here's how you need to do it going forward" kinds of things. The day was a blur.

I forced myself to get on the treadmill when Doug went up to nap. I was so sorely tempted. but figured a nap would whack tonight's attempts at sleep right in the kneecaps. Treadmill, I see you. But I'm not making a big effort. I jogwalked, no real running there. Didn't even break 2 miles in a half hour. That's okay though - I did it. I made up for shortcomings by taking Toffee around the block. That's always a good 1500+ steps. And she loves it.

Geoff made French bread pizza for dinner, and while delicious, too much in the carbs universe. But. Delicious. I should have balanced that out with a protein shake or something but I felt super full, semi-bloated, and not interested in putting more stuff in my body. 

A thing I regret not going out today for any fun. I had plans in my head. There is there is a guy here in town who I met through the 100 mile challenge. He plays acoustic guitar and sings, and he had a gig right over at the brewery by my house. 6 to 8pm. And I didn't get my ass out the door. I was on the treadmill at 7. I was eating food at 7. I was feeling like a blob at 8. 

Next time Logan. Next time. 

After Toffee and I got back, I was still about 1000 steps short of the 10k. I told myself, eh. Close enough? But no, it is 9pm. You can do this. Do it. So Toffee and I came upstairs. She gets the zoomies at night, which is fun, and we had a ton of fun. I ran back and forth and threw the carcasses of a couple of her former stuffies, and she loves to grab them and throw them around. Easy 1000 steps. 

No picture today, but tomorrow. Tomorrow! We have more fun tomorrow!!!! 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  took it very easy today. very tired. Took the treadmill, 30 min/1.86 mi. Took a short toffee walk before some weather, 12 min/.43 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

9:45am: 100
4pm: 140
10pm: 195

food & meds:

9:45am: jardiance, new meds
10am: oikos 000 yogurt w/ crushed up oats & honey granola bar
11:30am: small bowl of mac & cheese
1pm: met+glip
4:15: ramekin of mixed nuts
7pm: 2 pieces of french bread pizza w/ shrooms and red/orange peppers (meatless)
7:30pm: met+glip
No alcohol

A matter of taste

Geoff went to Target to get the dry goods and sundry things, and he brought back some sort of ring dings or ding dong kind of things. 

I got home from a doctor's appointment (blood draw, and knee X-ray) and they were in the cabinet so I figured ,,, eh. My blood sugar read "normal"ish for me, I'm hungry, those are there. 

It is kind of funny, but they don't taste right. And I know I sound like some sort of Andy Rooney old fart type of person (and if you are reading this and do not know who Andy Rooney is, bless you, you sweet sweet summer child) but really. 

They just taste like, meh. The chocolate is waxy, the cakey part isn't soft and moist, and the creamy filling leaves a lot to be desired. When I was a youth, I could eat a box of these tasty chocolate hockey pucks in a sitting. They came wrapped in a tin foil, which I'd take, and flatten out, and stack more tin foil wrappings on each other after chowing down and chowing down, and chowing down some more. Then I'd make a big ball of the tin foil, and squish it. I'd sometimes bite down on it (yeah, I was a fuckin' weirdo kid, I know) and it would hurt my teeth. Nice. 

Anyway. I honestly don't ever need to have another one of these. If I can have sugar/carbs from a lovely piece of artisanal bread, or a fresh peach, yeah. That's the way to go.

Jess called me tonight just before 10, so I took them for a walk, while they also walked their dog. Two hours later.... time for bed. 

But hey, the blood sugar is nice and low tonight, even with that snacky cake. Digits below! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill 30min/2.04 mi; walk and talk w/Jess, 30 min/ 1.38 mi; 13k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

9:45am: 140
5pm: 115
11:30pm: 85

food & meds:

9:45am: jardiance, new meds
12:30: bowl of chicken salad made with the left over peruvian chicken Geoff made, cream cheese, mayo
1:45pm: met+glip
5:15: hostess snacky cake
7pm: marinaded steak w/ guac and shredded cheese; white wine
8:30pm: met+glip 

A Little High

I woke pretty early for my doctor's appointment and had a good chat about all the things. The one thing I'm concerned about is the higher than regular or recent blood sugars. I've worked so hard y'all. Tiny cheats here and there, yeah. Cookie baking. Mac & Cheese but always extra protein. Always. And my blood sugar has been ... decent. 

My doctor said the new meds should also be lowering my blood sugar, if anything. But this week has been a little anxiety ridden. 

I told her that next week I'm going to send her the digits from the bottom of these pages, the digits I've diligently kept. And see what she has to say. 

Tomorrow she wants me to go get my bloodwork done, check the A1c (and I have to get my PT/INR anyway). So I'll dip out of work at 3, run the 30 miles over to the facility to get things done. 

I also talked to her about my knee pain. My right knee has been hurting like heck, even with stretching, and even with not running at all for over a week, just walking. In the past I've gotten cortisone shots, and the last one was 2022. I'm eligible for another one.  I need an X-ray first and then an ortho consult.

Me: I signed up for a 5k, literally one month from tomorrow.
Her: Well! We want you to do that! So let's help you feel better and you can train and win! 

Lady, I'm so not going to "win" anything, I just want to complete and finish. And I hope they have some adorable commemorative swag for us. Because honestly, that's all I want. Swag. 

We had a giant thunderstorm this afternoon. I was on a conference call with my work son, and I thought at one point I may have to shut my computer down because we'd lose power and internet. It was intense. The dog and the Doug were going bonkers. He had her all fired up about it, and they went on the porch and she NOPE Nope nope noped right back into the house. I was trying to talk and be present, but there was too much fun happening! 

We didn't lose power and the storm was over by the time I was done. The client we're working with is wonderful and hilarious, and it was just the kind of thing that warmed my heart to the bottom of my feet. 

That's about it. Oh - my friend here in town sent me this hilarious picture of two ads on a news site, and she said "I think I'm losing my mind - I wondered, why is that woman's body so small?" 

She thought I'd like it, and I do. 

Hope you like it too. 

Digits below! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill, 30 min/2 mi. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: 

7:45am: 130
5pm: 136
10:30pm: 180 

food & meds:

7:45am: jardiance, new meds
10:30am: last slice of sourdough bread, toasted
11:45am: small bowl of mac & cheese and leftover cheesesteak fixings (onions, peppers, mushrooms) 
12:45pm: met+glip
2:45pm: 6 m&ms (last in the bag, cleaning the pantry)
5pm: handful of mixed nuts
6:15pm: bowl of tortellini w/marinara sauce, meatless
7:15pm: met+glip 
white wine

It Depends

One of my co-workers and his wife welcomed a new baby yesterday. The past couple of weeks have been incredibly challenging because he works on a quarterly thing that dovetails to my project, and his thing is not a fun thing, but it is a legal thing. And wooof. Whoa. And the deadline for our clients to submit records for this quarterly thing was yesterday. Perfect timing, little baby. 

His boss (a new boss to him due to a department reorganization,  but a coworker we've all had for over a year) is doing his job now and we've been ramping up to this. But that doesn't mean we're ready for him to be completely unreachable. A lot of things that the original guy, the m has complained about for years are being exposed, and now his new boss is in a position to hopefully fix the fuck out of processes and situations that have just been allowed to happen for years and years. 

Watching him in meetings, he's a great guy and a lot of fun, but his tolerance for people's bullshit answers is incredibly low. The "Well, it depends on what the xyz thing is," answers make his head explode.

"Okay, it depends. It depends on what? Tell me the dependencies. Are there 3? 6? 12? Why are there dependencies? What can we do to cut down on these dependencies that end up impacting almost a whole population of things? And when can we do it by?"

It is a thing of beauty to behold, and I love watching him just go at it. 

We're all on the same team here, there are three departments involved, but we're all on one team. 

I had my 1:1 with my manager today and he's going on vacation Friday afternoon for two whole weeks. I feel like we have pretty much turned the corner on the chaos, but I dread not having him available.  

We discussed how I've always wanted to know how this project thing worked, and I've run into obfuscations from the other teams, usually director level, "why do you need to know that?" is a popular response to me asking something. 

Um. Because I need to put into words to the client why this isn't going to happen, or, why they have to do something some way. So I need to understand it. 

I let my manager know that 2 people in particular have been really huge road blocks to me, and he laughed and said "Oh, I know. I have heard that before!"  

Part of me thinks this is great that my co-worker and Mrs. Co-worker are off having their baby and parental leave time, because I know everything that he has had to struggle with every quarter will hopefully now be thrust into the spotlight, by his boss, and we'll get some sort of massive restructuring of the process for him.

"Maybe when he comes back, his job will be so massively different and better, and wonderful..." I said to my manager, and he said he hopes so too. 

It's so hard to try to get things done sometimes, when people don't want to work with you to fix a thing that is so obviously messy. 

Sigh. 

I had a meeting with a client today. He and another client share a first name, and in my little brain, I thought I was meeting with Guy #1 when really it was Guy #2. 

When I sent the meeting invite out, I had the wrong company name on it, but Guy #2 didn't call me out on it. "I saw that," he said, "I know that other guy. He's great. Sorry you're meeting with me and not him!" 

It was a good chat. Good meeting. Very fun. 

One of the things I really love about my job is the meetings with these clients. I love teaching them how to use things. I love seeing them click and get it. I love helping them realize they've been doing something wrong for so long that now... it's a miracle, this is how to do it and it is changing my life. 

I finished up, made some roasted potatoes to go with Geoff's dinner (some sort of marinade for chicken that he found in a cookbook, like he does), and we had a nice dinner. I needed 1500 steps to get to 10k, so I figured at 8ish I would take Toffee for a walk around the block. 

We had a short walk because there were cats out there. And she cannot resist trying to catch cats. 

So I brought her disappointed disobedient ass home. Finished up my steps in the house. 

I wanted to share this picture yesterday and forgot. We have some lettuce! I've never tried to grow lettuce. 

 I do have to say I'm happy to see that they are coming up, but, if I had to feed my family over the winter nothing we're growing would be helpful, so we just plan on enjoying what we have while we have it. 

Not sure why no one is in the middle though. Weird. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 25 min treadmill, 1.6 mi. cut it short for dinner; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose: *see note below

9:30am: 145
4:15pm: 159
10:30pm: 144 

food & meds:

9:30am: jardiance, new meds
12:30pm: english muffin w/pb & low sugar j
2pm: met+glip
7pm: grilled chicken breast w/some little tiny roasted potatoes and a salad
8pm: met+glip

*side effects of new medication: "May impact blood sugar." I am going to be talking to the doctor about this because nothing I'm doing/eating would cause the readings to be as high as they are today/yesterday. hmmmmmmm