CEO of company me

I've got a 2nd interview with the place that wants to pay me 11 bucks an hour to be their customer service goddess. The place I turned my nose up at the pay. Here's the thing -- If they offer the job to me, I will certainly take it. But that won't stop me from taking another job as a designer that pays better should that be offered to me at some point down the road.

I always feel guilty thinking that way, but I'm the CEO of company ME, and I have to look out for my company's best interests.

So, cross your fingers, send mojo. The interview is in 1 hour. They called me while I was in the shower and asked if we could push back from 1pm to 2pm. Fine with me, I get to do this quick entry and shave my legs instead of just getting ready and hoping no one notices with the long skirt I'll have on.

---

I woke up in the middle of the night with stabbing pains in my throat. The night time stabbing throat elves were after me. I shoooed them away and went and got cold water and ibuprofen. I feel like shit, and my voice hurts when I talk. Not good to have to walk into an interview with. It doesn't help that I got all unglued with Geoff this morning. For the past couple days he has been acting like a complete jackass, pain in the ass, moron all rolled up into one. This morning we were doing his homework, and he decided to write stupid crap all over it instead of do what he was supposed to do (instead of "Draw a picture of something yellow" he drew red pictures of what he claims is Sonic the hedgehog with lightening. All it was was a collection of scribbles and zigzags. I wouldn't have given a rat's ass if he had used the right COLOR). He fed his breakfast to the dog AGAIN. He refused to dress. He ignores every damn word that comes out of my mouth. So... with three minutes left until it's time to leave, he's still shoeless, homework is fucked, dog is covered in milk, and I lose it.

I'm not proud of getting in my son's face and bitching him out and intimidating him. I feel like I was a complete bully. I ended up spanking him, throwing him into his shoes... we had to stop at the supermarket on the way to school and buy a gallon of milk for his class (he destroyed one yesterday by spitting into it, yet another example of his behavior as of late) and it wasn't until then that I tied his shoes, zipped his coat, straightened out his hair and made us both look presentable.

Gah. I can't wait until we can all get out of the house and go hiking, walking, swimming... something. I'm so overly stressed.

---

And I decide to make myself a cup of tea as I'm getting dressed just now. It's green yogi tea. Smells nice. Very good on the throat.

The philosophical "quippy" or "pink fluffy" (as I like to call it) on the tag says, "To be calm is the highest achievement of the self."

What's the lowest? I'm probably one step above. But I'll take the guidance of the pink fluffy on the teabag. I'll be calm. I'll work on that. I'll repeat the serenity prayer. I'll breathe deeeeeeeeeply before reacting.

I will be as the tea bag tells me to be.

Alright -- to get dressed calmly. To be ready on time and drive over to the interview calmly. To interview with strength and self assuredness, calmly. I will deal calmly wiht my son this afternoon, and assure him I am sorry for my behavior, and let him know that he needs to work harder at doing the right things just as I need to work harder at doing the right things. I'll assure him I love him. I'll handle him calmly. I'll be calm. Can you feel me? Aaaah.