Each spring I get it into my head that Geoff needs a haircut badly, and we end up putting it off and putting it off, until we finally do get it done. Usually in June, but he was getting far too many comments from people (including total ranks on his head by friends of mine) so I figured today'd be the best day to just get it done.
We do it at home, and I've posted several before and after pictures here, but today was the best. He doesn't behave well at the hair cutters, I've only taken him once or twice...so doing it at home where he can cry and fight and freak out and it not be a total embarrassment to me is the easiest thing to do.
Once, we cut his hair and he had to be all of three. He cried and fought and tried like hell to get away. And after Doug was finished, he stood there crying and through the sobs and tears said "Thank you Daddy, I like my haircut." And continued crying.
This time, I suggested to him that we go in the bathroom to cut his hair and he was all for it. I got the scissors out, thinking I'd cut a bunch of the really long stuff off and make it easy for Doug when he came at him with the clippers, plus, if his hair was totally butchered by me then we would have to complete the job today... that's the way I was thinkin', ya know?
He was obedient and willing, and liked looking at himself as I hacked handfuls of hair off his head. I held up his hair between my fingers on the top and sides of his skull, and just snipped away while he flinched and laughed and praised me for what a good job I was doing. He looked like a blind woman was cutting his hair...
Doug then came in and gave him a true mullet. We were laughing like freaks, and trying to get the rest of the job done while Geoff was yelling WOOOO HOOOO! and watching his reflection in the mirror.
Doug said "You look like Joe Dirt!"
Geoff said, "Yeah! I do! I look like Joe Dirt! Who's Joe Dirt?"
And we laughed. All business in the front and party in the rear -- that was our Geoff for all of three minutes. Doug then proceeded to shear him like a sheep, holding his head, with me holding his hands, and he began to fight with us and tried to get away.
Then, Geoff started getting mad saying, "Stop! I want my hair back! I don't want my hair cut!!! I want it back!!!" It was so short, and he was freaking out.
We assured him that his hair would grow back, but he didn't like hearing that... and he kept trying to get away. Then he was all itchy from the hair on his shirt... and he started to freak because of that. We didn't have much time left, so Doug made short work of finishing the short hair. Whew!
It was difficult, but we got it done.
Without further ado, I give you The Way Out Inn solution to the "What shall we do with our time on a gloomy, rainy day?" problem:
Before, he looked like a nice, normal, slightly long-haired and younger version of his daddy. Afterwards, like a menacing skinhead ready to burn your house down, run over you with a motorcycle and then piss on your grave after you're dead-n-buried!!!!
He told me he was making that face because he wanted all his hair back and he was mad.
I liked his long hair. Each time we cut it I regret it immediately. But, he looks good, and clean, and healthy, and well cared for instead of ... feral.
 | Doug laughed at his sinister expression in the "after" picture, and said he looked an awful lot like Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies. Case in point, here's the original actor, Tom Felton, as he readies to hit the Quiddich field with his team. We put the comparison to the test. |
Now, here's our Geoffrey, a slightly more menacing Malfoy. But could be his younger brother, don't you think?
"HA! Harry Freakin' Potter!
You and your mudblood friends will not
get away with destroying our school! Think you're such a hot shot wizard, but you're nothing! Nothing I say!
I'll get you... mark my words, I'll get you, Harry Potter!"
The more I look at that, the more he looks like a soccer, erm, football hooligan. So I went on tour around the web for some pictures, didn't come up with many but did find this one:
It doesn't quite work, but I did think it was sorta funny. I wanted pictures of Mike Meyers from SNL when he does his soccer hooligan sketch, but didn't find any. And like I really want to waste my WHOLE afternoon
Sigh. All I want to do is have fun with photoshop and stick my kid's baldassed head on some crazy pictures, and my kids are fighting like wet caged weasels.
Seems to me by what I can hear of Jessica's complete screeching, that he took one of her eighty-five billion gel pens, so she's pinned him down on his bed and is screaming in his face "Where's my gel pen!!!"
The gel pen is on the living room floor, where he threw it after she started chasing him down. She ran right past it. And she has a cache of these damn things, like she'll miss one! Oy.
Perhaps she's the soccer hooligan.
I ought to go break this up. There. Much better. I need to go play with Geoff and keep him out of trouble. He's not good unattended like this right now.
The hair cut did give us some fun though today. I wish it weren't so darned crummy out. Sigh. Ah well. I hope you also enjoyed the pictures.
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