I've had a rough week. Luckily I had a friend be loving and supportive to me this week, when my son had problems with HIS friends at school.
As mentioned before, this journal isn't a place for me to come out and air my Geoffrey frustrations. He has no defense here, no counter-say, no options. So it isn't fair of me to get up in here and blah blah blah about problems he's having. Suffice to say, things were kind of rough, and there were many conferences by phone with people... resulting in a final ending to the week that I was happy with but only after me having to dig for the truth, and Geoff suffering because no one believed him when he was telling that truth.
I spent a lot of time crying this week.
I was very happy to be at work, away from the house and family. That is kind of funny for me to say, because no matter where I work normally I'm thrilled to go home, be with the kids, make dinner, participate here where I feel most happy. This week was not week of happiness for me. I'm glad it's over and I'm hoping that next week will be happier.
We're taking Geoff to see a psychologist in March. If anyone out there has any experience or advise they'd like to proffer in regards to behavior problems that are tied to Nonverbal Learning Disorders, I'd love to hear from you. Make sure if you email me that you put something to end in the "subject" line of your email and not just "Hi," or whatever... If I don't recognize your name, I'll delete your message.
So I haven't had time to sit down in a whole week and write anything. I've been in focus-on-Geoff mode nearly constantly for the past five days. It wears me out fast, and I find myself passing out at the end of the day with a pounding tension headache.
But, through trials there is perseverance. And from perseverance., faith.
I know for a fact that Geoff is the best Geoff that he can be, and the reading today in church had to do with "I am who I am as God made me, and by his grace that's what I'll continue to be." I know all the time that Geoff is trying to do well and trying to do better and accomplish what is expected of him.
And really, that's all I need to ask of him.
The one thing I did want to talk about this week, which everyone else on earth has been talking about, is the Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction during the Superbowl Halftime show. I hope this entry isn't falling too late for any of you to care at this rate.
In my last entry, I posted that I wasn't sure I saw what I saw, but I did see what I saw, because the rest of the planet also saw it.
Everyone is abuzz with opinions on whether or not she planned it. Justin Timberlake states he had no clue that was what would happen. She states that she alone made a change to the program at the very end after all the formal rehearsals and never consulted anyone about it, that Justin, MTV, CBS and the NFL all had no idea that the plan was changed.
I find that a little hard to believe. Someone had to design her top. Justin had to be instructed as to what to grab and where. MTV is notorious for having behind the scenes planning to "liven things up" a bit.
But the thing that I'm reading from a lot of blogs and journals is that we're some sort of nation of prudes freaking out over a little titty action on TV. Folks perceive that we're becoming some sort of Talibanish nation of right-wing religious scolds who want to string Ms. Jackson up in the town square and burn her at the stake.
And that's what I want to address. As a 37 year old woman, I thought it was funny that it happened. I for one am not one to shy away from nudity or sexuality in movies. I am not a Ned Flanders type where footlong hot dogs make me nervous. I sometimes wonder in a movie why someone had to be naked at a certain point in time, as if it added something to the story, when it usually didn't.
So my I'm not afraid of boobies stance is fully in place. Let that be known. I fear no boobies.
I was still totally offended by the boobie appearance in this instance.
Why?
Because I had no way of knowing it was heading our way, with my 7 year old son on my couch next to me. And it was incredibly insensitive of her to plan this action out, and I personally believe she did plan it to happen this way.
Most of the time there's something at the beginning of a broadcast that says "there are going to be titties in this broadcast" and I take the warning to heart and change the channel. When watching TV with my kids, there's enough shit that gets thrown them on a daily basis that I don't feel they NEED to have boobs bouncing in front of their faces.
I can make a parental decision to change the channel. In this instance, I had no opportunity to change the channel or say "Hey Geoff, right now is a good time for you to go ahead and go to the bathroom for a minute or two, until the boobie waving part is over."
And that is where a lot of the indignation is coming from, at least in my understanding of it.
I love Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" show on Shotime, but I'm not going to let my daughter watch it, even though she loves Penn & Teller as much as I.
Why? Too much swearing. I can handle it, I don't think she can.
Do I think that Penn yelling "Fuck that!" every couple of minutes ADDS to the learning experience of him trying to debunk UFO believers, no. But I understand his use of it, and see the comic element in its usage. I think the show is genius and funny, but it isn't for my 12 year old.
My daughter will just see it as a good reason to also yell "Fuck that!" in class when they're studying something that she disagrees with. Trust me, I know she will.
As a parent, I am glad to be able to make that decision before hand, and change the channel to Spongebob instead.
We watched the movie "Amelie" a few months ago up at Aaron & Michelle's house. Michelle had seen it several times, and knew to tell Jessica to cover her eyes for a minute during the "How may people are having orgasms right now in the city? Fifteen!" part, and the part where they are sitting in the sex toy store putting price tags on dildos.
Michelle doesn't have kids, but she gets it. She knew exactly what Jessie didn't need to see to enjoy that movie. And I'm incredibly glad to have a friend like Michelle who saw the movie first and is on the same wavelength as me. Jessie didn't lose anything in the overall enjoyability of the movie. She liked it, even though she had to read subtitles the whole time.
I also let her watch "The Real World" with me. There are some things that happen on the show where I change the channel. She doesn't need to see Trischelle and her boy du jour rolling around with her legs wrapped around his neck. But seeing Brad and Robin both get arrested for public drunkenness, that's educational for her. We watch Cops together. Watch that dirtbag get totally arrested for having 50 bags of heroin in his pocket and for attempting to outrun the police.
Don't do this later in life, got it?
I make decisions based on what I want them to see and know.
And Janet's decision to have the chest of her bodysuit pulled off revealing her boob in a wardrobe malfunction on LIVE TV, I had no control over that. I'm quite relieved my son had fallen asleep, and my daughter had given up watching because she hates Justin Timberlake and she went to get food from the kitchen. Both of them missed it.
But there were thousands of other parents sitting right there with their kids who weren't as lucky, and had no control over what their kids just had waved in their little faces. A litany of "dad, what just happened to her shirt?" went across the nation, uttered from mouths of younger kids on couches everywhere.
And that is unfair to parents. It was very unfair to the younger kids. Whether or not she intended for both pieces of her top to rip, whether Justin just dug his fingers in there and grabbed too much material, it doesn't matter. It was live TV. What was she THINKING? Why was the ripping of her bodice appropriate in any way, shape or form in the first place?
Why didn't Justin say "That's dumb, why would I want to do that, it has nothing to do at all with rocking one's body."
All people wanted to see was some football.
And that's what the pissing, moaning, complaining and freaking out is all about. If it was a Janet concert, I wouldn't have cared because I wouldn't have been watching. I don't value her as an artist. If others do -- fine. Whatever. I was just waiting for the game to come back on. And I got a face full of the unexpected.
The fall out from this transfers to a show like ER, where they were going to have a elderly female patient appear topless in an examination room, because "that's more realistic" in the telling of this character's story. I guess that advertisers freaked out upon hearing this, and threatened to pull their ads from the show.
My opinion on that one is -- if it is in context to the story, well then go ahead. It's on at 10pm, and as a parent I probably wouldn't be watching that with my 7 year old son. And, they have something at the beginning that warns you that there will be some nudity in this show. People can make a decision. And that's good.
If they animated Spongebob to have a big wagging penis, I'd make a choice to not let them watch that episode.
It all boils down to the element of decision making as a viewer. Not just as a parent, but as a viewer. If you're Ned Flanders and seeing a boob is a sin, you wouldn't watch the episode of ER. But if you're Ned Flanders and you love the Carolina Panthers and you are hoping in just a minute they'll finish up this infernal racket and get back to the game -- you got a big surprise.
Marge Simpson once said while watching TV "Fox became a hardcore porn channel so gradually that we didn't even notice."
I think that if we just ignore the fact that things like this continue to hit the airwaves in a stronger and more escalating manner, well then we'll get what we deserve in broadcasting.
And let me tell you, on the topic of her being banned from the Grammy Awards Show, she shouldn't be the only fall guy in this situation. I learned a lot this week with events surrounding my son.
There isn't one person "guilty" of committing some sort of crime in this instance. There is a whole slew of people who should take responsibility, not just her. I admire her efforts in going out there and making a statement that aims fault at only herself. But she's not the only one at fault here. There should be culpability on many parts in this situation. And having been through something where my son was deemed the only party responsible at one point, I can tell you that it's no fun. Justin should be banned from the Grammys this year too.
And if this was really a nation of moral scolds who want to Taliban things up, Janet would be dead right now. But -- her career will recover. Just think of these three words: "Pee Wee Herman." I still watch his old show, and I love the work he's done since his incident in a movie theatre a few years back. Through trials there is perseverance.
I have a suggestion for next year's half time show. Let's have Barenaked Ladies do the halftime show. Not just because I love them more than oxygen.
They can do their barenaked rap and chicken dance polka thing, and Steve and Ed can kiss! Men kissing is rather innocuous these days in the public eye. Even if Ed and Steve are avowedly heterosexual, it would be less offensive than what happened this year.
And we'll warn people so they can cover their eyes or the eyes of their kids. Everyone will be happy. Those looking to avoid men kissing each other, and those who enjoy it.
On that note, I'm off to do the dishes. Much love to you all.
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