Geoff's Bungee Tree

So, I'm in here doing my homework, researching webquests and stuff, and I decide to go make a cup of tea. I look out the window to Geoff's tree, where Geoff is looking rather stuck.

He was standing on his blue bin, which he uses to get to the first branch and gain access to the limbs and sky above. He was on his tippy-toes, and had the king of all wedgies.

I figured he'd gotten the back of his pants stuck on one of the little nubs sticking out of the bottom branch and couldn't get himself undone. This has happened twice since Junior Treeboy has learned to climb, both times resulted in him ripping the seat out of his trousers. I decided I'd better go out and free him before pair of trousers 3 was torn.

Upon approach, I discovered he was hooked to the end of a bungee cord. The other end disappeared up into the branches above him.

Dude had bungee jumped out of the tree.

"Honey," I said as I undid the hook from the back of his khakis, "this isn't a good place to bungee jump out of."

"I know," he answered, "I have to put the hook up higher so it works better."

"Uh, no," I reply, "this tree is not a good place, there are branches, and the bungee cord is designed for securing camping equipment, not for holding an 80 pound body as it plunges to earth. You're going to break your head, break your face, break your back, break your neck or die if you do this again. Please don't."

"But mom," he argues, "I want to bungee jump. That's a bungee cord. I know how to jump. I'm just putting them together."

I maintained my composure as I explained the mechanics of a REAL bungee cord, the kind designed for jumping. And I explained how this one doesn't have proper hooks to keep it on the branch or whatever else it would be secured to. And I explained that bungee jumping is a very precise sport, with safety equipment, helmets, and all sorts of stuff. He told me he wants to go do it one of these days, meaning today.

Doug said recently "I have the horrible feeling we're going to outlive him."

Doug may be right.