Procrastination Sandwich

My BNL filled weekend has left me in a dizzy whirly-woozy wonderland of happiness, but this afternoon I am slowly recognizing that my to do list is about as long as I am fat around. And that's pretty big. Being so singularly focused and obsessed for the last week, I'm amazed my children have been fed, much less have clean clothing and completed homework. I do not know when those things took place because I was so enthralled with the dates on the calendar and the events tied therewith.

My to do list is frightening.

We have done no Christmas Shopping yet. I have ideas, I just need to make time. In years passed, we would open up a bottle of wine and just dig into eToys or some nerdy Yuppie smart kid toy webpage and shop with reckless abandon! This year -- I'm thinking "What can I run into Target or CVS and just grab and they'd be happy with."

I'm a shitty mom, aren't I?

But yeah, you're right! I've preached here before that it isn't about the gifts, so my sloth ties into my somewhat self-righteous "Keep Jesus as the reason for the season" philosophy. They'll be lucky if they get a bottle of mouthwash and some hair scrunchies. Geoff better be thankful for those hair scrunchies.

I'm totally off the hook.

Jessica informed me that tomorrow night she has a choir concert. Nice of her to tell me tonight instead of tomorrow. If she had waited until tomorrow she would prove for certain that she is indeed my child. But she told me 26 hours in advance, so ... she's no procrastinator! No indeed! Now I need to find her a white blouse and black pants.

Which leads me to our laundry situation. 50/50. Half washed and unfolded. Half dirty and piled up in many rooms of the house. To find said black pants and white top I have to filter through BOTH levels of laundry... the clean and unclean. While filtering through the clean you would maybe think I'd fold and put away, but that might take time away from filtering through the unwashed! So I can't do that.

Of course, I will do this tomorrow morning before leaving for work, and it will make me late. I'm like that, you know.

I need to figure out what I am supposed to wear to the company holiday party on Friday. I have ideas, but the one blouse I was going to wear may need to be dry-cleaned and there is no way that can happen in 24 hours. I may end up shopping. Hell, I need to go shopping anyhow because I don't yet have a gift for the Yankee swap. And for the first time in a long time I have nothing to "regift" here at the house unless I pull an old Barbie doll from when Jessica was 9 out of the closet (totally still unopened, WNBA Barbie. Kick ass!)

The school actually sent a note home reminding me that it was winter and Geoff was "underprepared" for outdoor play. I had been sending him to school in four layers... topped off with a fleece which he'd outgrown last spring. Last night when it was 30 degrees I finally took Geoff shopping for a new coat. I loathe winter and loathe shopping this time of year. When it comes to Geoff I had more things on my mind like his one day bus suspension, the parent-teacher conferences, the play ground basketball incident, Cub Scouts, popcorn (which I need to go pick up -- again... total procrastinator!) and all of the academic concerns I have for him. Buying a coat? Please. So bottom of the list.

I am ahead by a full week in scheduling at work, which is the only place where I am staying ahead of the game. That and my mortgage payment isn't due until February because I am still a full month ahead on that. Otherwise, I've got a large toasted procrastination sandwich sitting on my plate and I'm enjoying every bite.

Why I procrastinate and am never prepared or ahead of the game is beyond me. I know there are things that need to be done and know the deadlines. I know people who are fully done with all their holiday everything and they are sitting back and enjoying "The Year Without A Santa Claus" and the TBS or TNT marathons of "A Christmas Story." Me? I'll be shopping and wrapping the night before. I always do. Doug will be asleep on the couch, the kids will be in bed, and I will have a giant rum and coke and will be wrapping presents at 1am.

My only hope is that Geoff doesn't lose a tooth that week, because you had better believe there is no way I will remember to play tooth fairy for him. I will totally drop the ball on that one. Sheeesh.

Anyway -- it's almost 11pm and I really am tired. I am still thinking of the BNL concert and how much fun it was. I wish I was seeing them again but have to live vicariously through my girl Annie who will be going to see them on the 13th in LA. It's her first time, and I hope to hell she loves them a fraction of the amount I love them.

And I guess that is it. Now. ... ... let's not put off going to sleep any longer. It is time to embrace this reality, and do that I must. After I blow up a few aliens in Ratchet Deadlocked. Mwah ha ha ha.