and, good bye Hermia

So, I just got home from a long long long session meeting at church (why is there so much business that needs to be done? can't church just be church and do its own self-management!?) And I'm exhausted, and I sit down to have time with Doug and I look immediately to the cage in the living room, and there she is on her side dead.

I am fucking devastated. I should have taken her to the vet yesterday to see if she had something that could be cured after her sister died on Saturday but I did not. I was saying "I need to write a check to my lawyer for 2000 dollars and I have 200 dollars in my checking account so ... what the hell am I going to pay a VET with?" And she was eating, and she was pooping solid poops which looked fine to me, and she was drinking, I saw her.

And she's fucking dead.

I can't even.