Setting Children on Fire

I want to tell you about Max.

I've known him for about 7 or 8 summers, he goes to my church, and now actually lives across the street from me. I am friends with his mom, and count her among my best friends.

There is something that happens with me and Max when I spend time with him. Jessica refers to it as "setting him on fire."

For some reason, Max gets extra beyond silly when I spend time with him. I ask him questions and he rocket ships to the ridiculous.

We were at our outdoor church service today, and Max walked up to me to show me his pregnancy. There's a soccer ball under that shirt. So I said "Oh, so you are havin' a baby. Mazel tov. I see you already have a photo of your baby on your shirt. Is that from the ultrasound?"

Boom. Set on fire.

This photo is pretty much the exact second where the conflagration starts. You can tell by the look on his face.  The hysterical laughter, the how can I make this funnier, the where is the next level we can take this to without me getting in trouble... Zero to 60 in about two seconds.

I'm not sure what it is about me and Max that it gets like this the second we're in the same space. I can say "apple" to him and he will lose his mind laughing.

We sat at a picnic table together with his parents with his brother, and me making him insane. His brother plays along with our insanity and encourages it. I think his parents are borderline horrified but also entertained.  Max's brother, Henry, is a straight man to the shenanigans. He doesn't quite burst into flames the way Max does, but he sure enjoys it. 

Gotta tell ya, it makes me super happy to make these kids lose their minds and send them off with their parents.


I was at their house one day and both Max and Henry were asking about the resurrection and why some things happened, and I started telling the story very colloquially with "this dude" and "Jesus was all like..." and they were dying. Beth told me "I need you to come teach children's church one of these days" and I said "You're joking right? I've got two kids peeing their pants and I'm not sure I'm theologically sound. You want that with 20 kids in children's church? There's a reason I do not teach children's church..."

In the meantime... I do enjoy setting fire to kids.