The New Normal, doesn't have to stay this way

This time of year is when we've got things buttoned up for what we're going to do for our anniversary.

June 1st is a good time to celebrate a wedding. Not a lot of things are in full season yet. We have taken some lovely trips, especially when we lived north of Boston. A favorite was our trip to Quebec City and Montreal for number 25.

This is number 29, which still kind of blows my mind. 

As much as I'd love a long weekend in a cabin in Vermont, or yet a tour up to Prince Edward Island, there is a great deal to discover down here and I need to kind of embrace that. The whole first year here I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I was far more depressed than I ever wanted to let on. A couple of trips to Annapolis, and down to Charlottesville and poking around up to Gettysburg have given me renewed interest in the area.

Doug had suggested we head into the mountains of West Virginia. He had his eye on New River Gorge and that area and had found a couple interesting Air BnB spots. One was attached to a barn so the animals were right literally next to your head. I wondered if it was a stinky or noisy option, albeit gorgeous and pastoral based on the photos.

West Virginia also supplied a convenient way for us to go away but also still be able to get to Western Pennsylvania too. Doug's aunt Mae passed away a few months ago, and the family had all decided to wait until good weather for a gathering and for her funeral (she was cremated, which makes that wait easier). So heading into West Virginia was a great idea.

We were going to head out May 30th, stay somewhere like Charlottesville, Lynchburg, something along that side of the mountains, and spend our anniversary where there are nice restaurants or a fancy something.  Not that I don't think there's fancy something in West Virginia, but I think it gets rural fast, and a roadside Waffle House on the highway near Beckley isn't my idea of 29th Anniversary Quality.

From somewhere in Virginia, we'd continue to the Gorge  via Beckley, stay a day or two at some barn cottage or rock cabin. Then head to the north, to Ohio, maybe Columbus or something, and then over to the homeland north of Pittsburgh for the family gathering on June 6th.

I don't know that we're going anywhere or doing anything at this point.

I'm not crushed or depressed or freaking out over this, I'm slightly disappointed because I haven't gone on a nice trip or vacation in a while. I'd have to go back and look through things but I think the conference in New Orleans was the most travel I had in the last year. Thankful for that, and for that time.

Work has been busy but not unmanageable. I'm not under pressure to do MORE MORE MORE the way I feel some of my colleagues are. I am feeling balanced and healthy mentally. I use my little projects to get through my days with some semblance of home vs. work and a balance thereof. 

But I want to do neither of those things for a little while. I want to do no house little projects, and no work, and just go somewhere different for a bit. And I wanted to do that with Doug. And right now I feel like if we're able to get Thai take out for June 1, it'll be a miracle.

I'm listening to people bemoan things like this or actually freak out over them. I've watched my friends' kids absolutely losing their minds because Senior Weekend is canceled.

I think as a nation our coping mechanisms are being tested hard, and our expectations of what we deserve and getting what we want no matter what are being taxed.

Another friend who is a therapist for battered women had recently said that when people are freaking out about things, they are grieving. They are in mourning. I get that. I do. But I also am thinking I'm not Anne Frank sitting in a wall for two years unable to speak aloud. I'm not in a bunker in London hoping for some great leadership speech from Churchill.

There has to be a balance. Missing Senior Weekend or having your graduation ceremony and "walking" canceled sucks really bad, but some things cannot be helped right now and your reaction, our reaction, has to be a little bit stronger, tougher, and better.

It's okay. You're okay. I'm okay. We're okay. We're going to make it. I believe we will. There are things we are totally going to miss out on, landmarks and touchpoints of what we expect as human developments. But look to the next one and say "I'm hopeful for the future.

Everyone is referring to this as the New Normal, but I don't think it is the way life is going to be forever. I don't think there is going to be a time in the future where once again I'm counting rolls of toilet paper to make sure I know kind of how much we've got left. I believe I'll go back to work at my office. I don't think this normal is here to stay.

I think that some mental adjustments need to be made to living this way now, but I also think some adjustments need to be made when we do go back to the way it was before. I think being more aware and listening better needs to happen. I think responsiveness by ourselves and our government needs to improve.

I think taking things for granted will hopefully no longer be a thing, and I can look at planning Year 30's trip with a joyful heart.