How are you doing?

Back at the hospital with my cousin this morning I was pondering a lot of things as I waited. 

All the staff here on the nuclear medicine/radiology floor are very nice. But everyone says "How are you doing?" Which can be one of two things: They actually care and want to hear that people are possibly not doing well (ie: my cousin does not pull punches when anyone asks him this); or it is just an absent minded way of greeting someone. 

Do you really want to know, do you really want to ask someone with a trach tube "how are you doing?" with a big smile on your face.  Part of me wanted them to just say "Good morning." "Glad to see you today." "Let's kick some ass." 

"How are you doing" is loaded. I try personally to always avoid using it when I know someone is sad, sick, hurt. I try to think about other ways to greet people. 

But also, I want to open up that door. How are you doing? Please tell me. I'm here to listen. I want to know. I care. 

In the south here, people are different (no shit, Chris). There is a woman who works for facilities, mopping and checking the trash. She's always around on this floor. I don't know if that's her assignment or if she just likes it there. She greets everyone with a big smile, she's very religious and lets people know God is in control on this floor. "Do not worry, God is on this floor and he holds you in his hands."

Personally I appreciate her faithfulness and her comments but I always think about people who don't believe in the same God she believes in. Or they don't believe in God. Or they have been hurt by the church. Or they are exceptionally angry at God. 

I've always felt that you wait to know someone before you get into what God is up to anywhere. And then you can openly talk about it. 

But sometimes maybe that's what someone needs to hear, the same way they need to be asked "How are you doing?" 

I've never been ashamed of God or the Gospel, I've always been willing to meet people where they are for discussions and sharing ideas. I do not want to do more harm than what they're maybe going through. 

But here, people just do it. Either without thinking or thinking that possibly everyone just believes the same thing. 

Another thing I think about is if I lose my job, what would I do. I've always thought I'd be a good chaplain. But would I be a good chaplain for people dying, and their families? I've written about this before, during the hospital stay with Covid. And I still think about it from time to time. But would it wear me out? Would it make me depressed and sad? Who chaplains the chaplain? Would I be better suited to be a hospital way maker, a guide, front desk person, patient checker-inner? 

It's a day of ponderances. Heavy things. 

This morning, I stopped at the front desk to say hello to the person running it, and told her I didn't need my room cleaned, I wasn't checking out. But she looked me up and somehow I booked myself for Wednesday night, checking out Thursday, not Tonight checking out tomorrow. 

Oops. 

She fixed it but I felt like a complete idiot. She made me new room keys and noted to housekeeping that my room was still occupied. 

After I got my cousin back to his place, I parked the car out front of the hotel, came up to work. Housekeeping had made my bed and tidied up my room, and left a note saying they were happy I was there one more night. 

I tell ya, this hotel has the sweetest staff. 

A guster fan friend of mine has always told me to hit her up when I'm here, so I did reach out this morning to say hi and let her know I was in town. She had a 7pm appointment, but, she had time to swing over here and have a cocktail. So we got to hang out, catch up, talk about All The Things. She lives about 7 miles west of here, and got here in no time. I had a half hour walk on the treadmill while she was on the way over after work, and we enjoyed a sweet visit. 

I felt a little bad about not having dinner with my cousin or anything but I'm exhausted from him? I can't really write about this, and how I truly feel, but he drains me. Not just because of his medical situation but the person he is. And I'm just tired. Very tired. I am looking forward to going home tomorrow. 

We have an all staff meeting at 1pm tomorrow and I doubt I'll make it home in time so I'm trying to figure out my plan. Do I stick around until 2pm? Is there a phone number I can call into while driving to listen in? 

Anyway, here's me and my friend, and a sign at the hotel desk that made me smile. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   30 min on the treadmill, for a good solid 1.48 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

6:45am: 150
5:15pm: 139
10pm: 178

food & meds:
6:45am: phentermine+jardiance
11am: giant cheese danish from starbucks
11:30am: Protein shake 
1:00pm: met+glip
7pm: buffalo chicken dip and some chips
8pm: the rest of yesterday's carrot cake
9pm: met+glip
white wine & diet ginger ale 

The Fan and The Bell

My cousin asked me to be to his house at 8am, for his 9am appointment. He wanted to be early, his anxiety is through the roof. I was on time for him, but he was not out of bed yet. He needed a little more time, thinking and overthinking his situation. He told me I could bring the laptop in and work if I wanted to but reminded him I need internet to do my job. So I told him hey, I'll take a walk. 

The Fan District is where he lives, in an apartment building, not one of the amazing Victorian era homes in the neighborhood. The apartment building is a piece of shit, needs a total rehab and rebuild but he's lucky right now to have a place to live so it's good. 

I walked all over the neighborhood, making sure not to wander too far away if he texted me that he was ready to go. I met lots of dogs, looked at lots of gardens, admired all the beautiful houses and thought of the one we may not be buying in Hagerstown. 

Beautiful Victorian era houses are a labor of love it seems. So many contractors out working on homes in the neighborhood here. I'm in the wrong line of business.

Back at the car, I texted him to let him know I was done with my walk, and he came out. Slowly.  We were slightly late arriving but that's alright. They got him pretty quickly and I charged his phone for him, and started working. 

They told me it would be 20 minutes and it was over two hours. 

During that time, several people came out and walked up to a bell to ring it three times. Everyone cheered. 

This is the tradition in just about every cancer treatment hospital. When you are done with your treatment, you ring the bell. 

It felt an honor to be sitting there hearing the bell, and I thought on my cousin, maybe he gets to ring the bell when he's done with treatments but he won't be cured and he said that's not bell-worthy. You should ring the bell when you've fully kicked cancer's ass.

He had a hard time today with the treatment on his head. They ordered medication for him for tomorrow and the rest of this week. They were supposed to send the order to a pharmacy but the system is down so tomorrow they'll have it waiting for him. 

He told me he does not have someone for Wednesday, so I volunteered to stay. I'm here anyway, right? I checked in with Doug and he told me that sounded alright to him.  

After the treatment, I took John back to his place and he went to bed. I had lunch at the Capital Ale House, had a zoom meeting with the newsletter team, ate a giant delicious salad, and did enjoy one beer (I wanted 10). 

Back to the hotel when my 2 hour parking expired, and I parked for 2 more hours and worked in my room. Amazingly getting a lot done between moving around Richmond. My cousin wanted to have dinner, so when my parking expired, I headed over to him. We got Indian food, I ate to much rice and naan, but it was delicious and perfect and I loved it. 

He wanted to watch a movie but I really did not have the energy for it. I got in the car, talked to C, called Doug, chatted with Doug. Got wine and ginger ale and headed back to my room. I extended my stay another night, checked in at the front desk to tell them I was not going to check out, just please leave me in the room. I'll reactivate my keys tomorrow. 

Bed. So excited for bed. Can't wait to sleep. And we do this again tomorrow. 

Digits below a weird thing I saw in Richmond.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Early morning walk around the Fan District in Richmond while waiting for my cousin. 20 min/.98 miles. 10k+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

6:45am: 79
n/a pm: n/a
10pm: 185

food & meds:
6:45am: phentermine+jardiance
7am: granola/fruit/yogurt parfait (figured it was a safe choice bc of the super low blood sugar this morning)
12:45pm: spinach and beet salad w/goat cheese and grilled chicken. One beer
2pm: brought home a slice of carrot cake, ate a portion of it, saving the rest; met+glip
7pm: indian food, butter chicken some jasmine rice, garlic naan
8pm: white wine & diet ginger ale
9pm: cashews; met+glip 

The Home Inspector

Well. 

I don't know what to say until we get the written report, but today we spent 4 hours with a wonderful home inspector and we went over this beautiful old house top to bottom. 

And we may not buy it. 

It needs a lot more work than we thought initially, and we didn't want to buy a project. There are things that look ok but are not. The seller should have done more to take care of her.

I'm feeling conflicted but realistic.

We brought Geoff with us because we wanted him to meet her. He had a really good time shadowing the home inspector and liked him a lot. It was kind of cute - he wore a really nice shirt instead of one of his metal band shirts... like he was dressing nice to go meet a sweetie. It made me want to go change into a blouse and nice pants. Like, how cute is he. 

We showed him the attic and the basement and he said "they each have pros and cons," and we talked about "where do you see yourself." 

He decided the basement was the best idea and I agree. 

So long and the short of it, she has nice things. She'll look nicer with paint in each room freshened up. But she needs a lot more work than we anticipated. 

What we can do is adjust our offer. I think, not knowing what stuff actually costs but talking to the home inspector and the realtor and knowing ballpark, 50k - 75k worth of work is needed. 

Do we want to be those people? 

I don't know. 

It was a long long day. We left the house at 8:30 and then we were at the home inspection from 10-2. After we went to Hub City brewing, had some beers and food and talked. 

Arnold, the home inspector had a real Gary vibe. He reminded us of my father in law, both Doug and I saw it and when I mentioned it Geoff said "oh my gosh yes!" I think that's why he spent so much time with him ... feeling the Gary vibe.

It made me really miss him. I wonder what he'd think of this house. Doug's mom likes it but noted that there isn't a first floor bedroom. Doug and I both told her we don't really need one, but, if somehow we did need one, the sunroom could be expanded and the 1/2 bath could be made a full bath. Very easily. 

I have feelings about this house. Furniture is placed in my brain, but, I don't need her if she is going to cost me so much time and effort. I think,  unless we could counter offer 320, with a mortgage that provided home improvement monies, and we took care of things. Maybe.

We may have to walk away from this one. Doug and I will need a deep discussion about it. We have 5 days.

After beer and food at the brewery, we headed home and Doug and I both napped. I was regretting the fact that I needed to get in the car instead of go sit in the backyard where the humidity has finally died down, and just chill and drink wine on the patio. But duty calls this week.

I am writing this from the same hotel in Richmond I stayed at a couple weeks ago. 20 bucks cheaper a night than anyone else, so yeah. Hard bed and weird wall art, and I'll just crash and sleep. I had some wine at the bar, and went through some helpdesk things and now I'm ready for bed. 

A last note on the house, on the doorframe in the foyer there is a Mezuzah,  Very small, but right there.

And I hadn't noticed it before. It made me smile, because there are often many different Mezuzahs in life. When I get on a Southwest airlines plane, I touch my lips with my fingers and then tap the little heart next to the door as we board. That is a Mezuzah to me. 

I remember being taught by a very elderly neighbor when I was growing up that this is a reminder of the covenant. 

There's a scroll inside the little box, usually, and it is a reminder of your relationship to God and your ongoing connection to His blessings. You tap your lip, you kiss your fingers, you then touch the Mezuzah. 

So it gave me pause today to see it. If this house was mine,  I'd be touching it every time I walk out the front door, I'd kiss my fingertips and tap it. I do not know if there is a scroll in it, but it is there, and ready to be a daily reminder of God's blessing and covenant with us.  I'd take a beat in my daily life and let God know that at all times and in all places that  I'm aware of Him and his covenant between me and all people. 

I was very happy to see it there. I do not know if the previous owners placed it there or the ones before them or the ones before them... but it would get a lot of traction and attention from me going forward.

Part of me was tempted to hit the treadmill upstairs but I'm just too tired. We'll let this day just be a day where I was happy to hit all 12 hours of steps, and tomorrow we have my cousin to care for. Let's go.

Alright the uncomfortable bed calls. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no measured exercise. a lot of car time. 8500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7am: 134
5pm: 136
11:45pm: 117

food & meds:
7am: phentermine+jardiance
i don't think i ate anything before we left the house? I can't remember.
2pm: 8 buffalo wings; 2 beers
3:30: met+glip
7pm: turkey on 647 bread
10:30pm: met+glip; white wine
11:30: a couple handfuls of cashews

A busy Saturday

We were homebodies today. Doug went to the farmers market and mowed the lawn, I did some kitchen stuff and puttered around. He took a nap after a shower and I walked in the house for 20 min. 

I was going to grab the dog and go to a pokestop but the skies opened up and we got pounded by storms. The phones kept going off with flash flood emergency warnings. At first I thought it might be an overreaction based on what happened in Texas recently but we for sure were getting hammered. 

My house is right underneath that pop up box. so you can imagine the colors that are blocked.

This poor soul... dozens of cars were caught up in the 5-7 inches of rain we got in about an hour!
This is about 3 miles south of us. 

I kept checking the basement and backyard. Luckily no flooding in my house. Like in previous storms. 

I thought about the gym, but Geoff and I made dinner and then I was not motivated to go outside in the weather. The rain let up long enough for me to take Toffee out and walk up and down the walkway, but she didn't want to be out there. The princess hates wet grass.

Well, off to bed. We've got an early start tomorrow to get up to the home inspection. Geoff is coming with us, I want him to see the house and decide - attic or basement!? 

Digits below!

 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  20 min indoor walk, .96 mi. only 7600+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 146
5pm: 134
10:15pm: 145

food & meds:
8:30am: phentermine+jardiance
11:45am: english muffin w/pb
2pm: met+glip
5pm: a 2 good yogurt, a mini-coffee cake
6:30pm: baked ziti w/meat sauce, 2 pieces of garlic toast
8pm: mixed nuts; gin & diet tonic w/splash of lemonade

get those steps in

Today I was feeling foggy and heavy in the head. I usually try to do extra steps during the hours of the day but today it was just a challenge to do my 250. At 5pm, it looked like rain so Doug wasn't going to walk the dog. Geoff called for a ride home from work so he went to get him, and I squeezed in a dedicated 10. 

He ended up actually walking her, but it was so humid and gross out that I opted to walk inside. He came back sooner than I'd hoped, I wanted to get to 30 min. 

So it was about 8pm and I'm 3k steps from the goal. I just got up and started walking. 500 steps, break. 300, break, 600, break. Finally made it to 10k around 11pm. 

Doug talked to his mom tonight so he caught her up to speed on the house offer, the home inspection, and the adventures with his cousin and aunt. 

I'm so thankful she's absolutely all there, even if she has a hard time hearing. I can speak loudly to someone who is completely mentally sound. That's no problem.

Anyway. Not sure what the plan is for tomorrow but I'm exhausted. Off to bed. 

digits down there

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. short indoor walk, 10 min, .47 mi. and another one while Doug walked Toffee, 22 min, .99. 10k+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

8:45am: 134
4:15pm: 126
11pm: 106

food & meds:
8:45am: phentermine+jardiance
11:45am: bowl of mac & cheese w/left over cheese steak filling mixed in
2:30pm: met+glip
4:15pm: 3 celery stalks w/pb
6:30pm: 2 cluck pucks w/ american cheese and mayo, no bun, a little bit of french fries
9pm: met+glip
10pm: ramekin of mixed nuts

Interior Decorating

Our houseguest left today. Doug drove his cousin to pick up the aunt's car, and then drove away. Bye. 

Cousin was given one task before driving out west: Go to the storage unit, and find the box that has his mom's medication in it. Because, of course, somehow it was packed. Not set aside and held in a bag/suitcase safely for later. Nope. Either the movers packed it on Sunday and it went to the house, or, it's in the storage locker. 

He can't find it. So he called Doug like... DOUG IS GOING TO FUCKING KNOW what box it is in. And Doug said "I can't help you out with that." For as big a saint as my husband has been these past few weeks, he is done. Absolutely Done. When he got home, he ate dinner, drank a bunch of beers, and crawled into bed before 9pm. 

He earned it. And I love him. 

I'm so happy to have my house back. I stripped the bed sheets 32 seconds after they were out the door and just redressed the guest room bed. I plan on sleeping in there so I do not have to disturb him by slipping into the bedroom. 

We have our home inspection set up for Sunday morning. Here's hoping there is no black mold under all the carpeting in the attic, right?

There are things we know the house needs. First off a patio set (I need that more than the house does, to be honest) for the front porch. She will need some electrical work, the outlets in the living room are ancient and need upgraded. And there are a couple recessed can lights in the basement that do not work. We need it painted inside. I'm thinking the living room / dining room first and for certain.  The upstairs bedrooms are in good condition, I like the color on the wall in 2/3 of the room. 

Doug has claimed the Green Room as his office. He's planning to take our Stickley chair and he'd like to get a loveseat for that room, or another guest bed maybe. I don't like the green on the walls in there but if he wants it for his office I've got no complaints at all. He also has no say in the fact I'm filling the bookshelves with all our books. 

There's a little sun room off the dining room and I'll probably set my office up in there. I think I need a desk chair, I don't want to sit in a dining room chair. That'll kill my back, and it is one reason I currently sit on the love seat with a lap desk. 

Here's my picture of the space and the listing picture with some furniture in it. She's cute for a Chrissie office. I'll say that much. 

Either that, or this room is where a treadmill can go (Doug's idea since he doesn't go to the gym and I walk inside the house so why not) and I can continue to lapdesk. Also, the living room is huge, so it could have an office setup at one end. Certainly it will have shelves of plants and everything. 

We have a whole ass guest room where the current guest room furniture will go. Queen bed, etc. 

Planning Geoff's basement apartment in my brain. 

C told me once you start imagining all your things in what room they'll go.... it's your house. So it seems this is my house. 

We shall see. Tomorrow being Friday, I'm looking forward to the first day of hopeful relaxation in my own house. And then who knows what for Saturday, and Sunday is the home inspection and I drive back to Richmond to be with my cousin Monday and Tuesday. 

So many plot lines. 
Digits, below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  30 min indoor walk, 1.38 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7am: 113
5pm: 114
10:30pm: 160

food & meds:
7am: phentermine+jardiance
1pm: left over chicken breast w/guacamole & cheese
1:30pm: met+glip
6:30pm: beef stroganoff w/some rotini noodles
9pm: ramekin of mixed nuts
9:45pm: met+glip
gin & diet tonic

Only Child Houseguest

(Wednesday's entry) 

Doug's cousin has been here for a few days, the plan is that we're waiting for the aunt's car to be fixed. It overheated on Friday before the moving weekend, she managed to get it to a garage and they said they wouldn't be able to look at it until Monday. 

This is why Doug's been in the middle of moving things and people around America. It is almost like the fox, the hen, and the grain where you have to get them across the river without the fox eating the hen, the hen eating the grain. It is really very simple, but his aunt picked a place to live an hour away from where they were living, and we live an hour away in the opposite direction of where they were living. 

Somehow his cousin has not registered his own car online yet, maybe. I'm going to ask him about it today. You've been here four days. With internet. What's up with that? He may not know his plate number, he maybe tried, but we don't have any idea. Not exactly a man of action this one. 

He's been in our guest room, so I have nowhere to go when I wake up at 2-4 am and want to escape the dog bed-hog, and listen to a podcast. He doesn't check to see if anyone needs to use the bathroom before he goes in and showers or takes 25 minutes to do his business. He has asked to take our car so he can go buy himself lunch when first of all, there's a house full of food and second of all no, you're not on our insurance you may not have our car. He has the volume for notifications and the ringer on his phone and iPad cranked to 11. His phone rings all the time, with numbers he doesn't want to answer so he just lets it ring instead of hitting the fuck you button to stop the ringing. I've asked him to lower the volume. He did by a couple clicks, but. Not enough. 

I do not mind being hospitable, in fact I'm always nothing but hospitable. I open my doors to people all the time. Driving through DC to get to Florida? Please stop here for the night. Let me feed you. Take a shower. Clean fresh towels. Breakfast sandwiches from scratch. 

But having someone in the house who is an only child with only child tendencies combined with some personality quirks is wearing on my kind soul. I am ready for him to find his way out of my house. Time for you to begin your new life not near here. 

What I'm hoping is that the aunt's car is fixed today and my saint that he is husband will take the cousin, go get the car from the garage, and they can ride out west in 2 vehicles. Doug can unload all the stuff out of our car that belongs to the cousin that they rescued at the 11th hour the other day, and come home to me. 

Then, the cousin can figure out his registration/inspection situation like an adult, have his mom drive back East, and get the car from out front of their vacated condo where it is sitting. 

He said it needs a front end alignment and he doesn't want to drive it. Okay. Drive it as far as a garage and get it fixed. He will have to go to the DMV, change his address while he's at it. Do all the things. 

Speaking of doing all the things, I have a list. Gotta do those things for us, for me. Focus. 

Digits from Wednesday below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  No walk. 4700+ steps by bedtime. Completely unmotivated to do much other than the hourlies. 

blood glucose:

8am: 109
4:15pm: 92
10pm: 183

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
11:45am: english muffin w/pb 
2:30pm: met+glip
5:15pm: ramekin mixed nuts
6:30pm: french bread pizza w/pepperoni
9pm: met+glip

Offer Accepted!

Doug called me at 2am. His phone was dead (I called twice, and when it went to voicemail I knew that was most likely the case) so he used his cousin's phone to call and update me on stuff.

He took his aunt to her new place at 9pm. He got his cousin and brought him back to the condo, so he could get as much of his stuff as possible, load it in his car and our car. He was so angry none of his stuff was packed. He was so mad but. He was there the entire day the first movers were there, and he could have had his stuff packed and moved. 

No one seems to understand how this works. 

They then came back here to the house at 4am. 

Very late night for all. I think I had just fallen asleep when he called, and got up and turned on the living room light for them. When they rolled in, Toffee lost her mind and barked and then ran around like crazy. So I was up for a while.  8:30am came so soon, trash trucks going up and down the road, and guys yelling to each other. I thought I'd try to sleep a little later but no dice. Actually on time for work. 3 hours of sleep. 

Doug slept until 9:45 when I had to wake him up. We had an appointment with the realtor to go over our offer letter detail by detail, line by line. We did our online signing of things and submitted the offer. Now we wait for acceptance. Hopefully they go for it and don't push back. Please. Right now, the price we offered with the downpayment we wanted to use gives us a mortgage payment that is 200 bucks more than what we're paying for rent right now. 

Our broker submitted the offer, they accepted, and they want to close August 28. We wanted September 12th.

Um.

Fast much?

Okay?

We agreed, and I set to work to arrange all the things that need done. All the pieces are falling into place, home inspection, mortgage, money transfer from our savings fund, and now I have to break our lease tomorrow. 

Okay. Stress. But .... okay. 

This afternoon, Doug did an online order to send food to his aunt's house because she was there with no transportation and nothing to eat. So he talked to her to find out what she needed / wanted, and placed an order at Target, got her a nice kettle and tea, towels, and a ton of other stuff. Instacart texted him to let him know when they delivered she was so happy and thankful. 

He's a saint. I tell ya. A saint. 

Doug took a big nap. The boys went to target together because his cousin wanted some things. Geoff made dinner. It was fantastic but too much carbs to be honest. No complaints though. Great meal that I didn't have to cook. 

Off to bed. What a long couple days. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 20 min indoor walk when the boys went to target, .93 miles.  7k steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

9am: 124
5pm: 170
10:45pm: 106

food & meds:
9am: phentermine+jardiance
1:30pm: english muffin + pb
3:15pm: Met+glip 
5pm: ramekin mixed nuts
6:30pm: angel hair pasta w/shrimp, bacon, spinach, a la Geoff
10pm: met+glip
red wine+ginger ale

Kindness and Good People

On the last episode of "This is Crazytown," I talked about the over/under on things related to Doug's aunt. I told you how she said the moving company was coming back in the morning to move the rest of her stuff and she had permission to spend another night there. 

Insert "Narrator Voice," none of that was true. 

There was not going to be a second visit of the movers today. 

She did not have permission to stay there last night. 

The new owner showed up at 9am, expecting some mess, not expecting her ass to be sitting there and some mess. He got mad. They started to fight.  

The guy told her she had to be gone, permanently gone, by 5pm today. He was coming back with law enforcement. He was changing the locks on the doors. Done, goodbye, gone. He's not wrong. It's his house. But just look at her. Look at this mess. Look at her life. Just bear with us. We're doing our best.

Doug had a big argument with the lawyer on the phone, pointed out that the movers hardly moved a fucking thing. The lawyer said "They moved what she told them to move. She picked those things, and that's that. They did what she asked." Doug said something about contacting the attorney general about all of this, because ain't none of it is right. 

Let's not worry about all her clothes! Let's not worry about actual really nice expensive oriental rugs she has in the closet in her room (5 or 6 of them) worth probably thousands of dollars! Let's not worry about the dozens of Barbie dolls in their original packaging from the 70s!  Doug did a quick google search on them, they're worth hundreds of dollars each. Let's bring the broken chair and the Home Depot display 

She has over 10k worth of actual pricey collectibles, and none of them were packed and moved. None. She could have sold them all at some point, and paid the vast majority of debts that she had. But she's sitting on this goldmine, and it almost all was left behind. 

Doug also had a discussion with the new homeowner, who was like "hey man, I've got a timeline, you know. I am just protecting my investment." That may be true, but let's focus on moving the 80+ year old human and her 40+ years of life out of the house. Your timeline can wait.

Doug asked me reach out to a moving company. "Use your social engineering skills, and convince someone to help us." Knowing how hard it is to get same day movers, I was concerned this would not work, but I ... reached out. The company that moved us in 2021 managed to pull together a crew and a truck, and told me they'd be there between noon and 2pm. 

So he rushed over there and started loading up his car with things of value. She was hemming and hawing and arguing with him. She said she's not going to her new place until she has her car. She'll stay right there. What's he going to do about it (the new guy). 

For one, show up with the county sheriff, put you on the sidewalk in the pouring rain in your bare feet, and change the locks. That's his right. He owns the house. 

So Doug tried to convince her over and over to just pick things. Pick the things of value. He knows how to tell what's of value (in addition to the Barbies and whatnot) and he just started loading up the car. This was a rescue mission for antiques that hopefully she'll be able to sell, and continue to get money into her life, somehow. 

I arranged for a storage unit. The girl on the phone was so sweet. 10x15, one month, done. All Doug had to do was get over there before 5pm when the office closes, get the gate code, get a lock, and then he could come in and out up to 10pm any time he wants.

The movers arrived, three guys not two, and between them and Doug, they started to fill that truck. They made quick work of things and I think it all started to sink in on Doug's aunt that this is happening. This is happening. 

Doug went to get the storage unit situation set, went to CVS, got allergy medicine for one of the guys, and a ton of Gatorade. While he was gone, she kept giving them broken things, pieces of actual garbage. Things that she says "I am going to fix this," but the thing is, you've been going to fix that for 40 years. You've run out of time. No. Pick better things. Pick whole things. Do not hand the dudes broken chairs, baskets with no bottoms.  

The moving company guys were very polite, and packed things that looked like very obvious trash and asked Doug about it later. 

One of the things he told me was how kind and respectful the movers were to her. No one had a fight or argument with her. They very yes ma'amed her and packed the things. They were anxious for Doug to come back because they were honestly not sure if this broken rocking chair missing a rocker and one leg, and no seat in the bottom was actually worth taking. 

It went. So did the giant fireplace mantle that she bought at some estate auction and a 7 foot long barn beam. 

One of the guys asked "what is this thing? This big piece of wood, what is it?" And they discussed it amongst themselves, "I think it's like one of those beams in a barn or something?" Yup. Doug told them it was. "What's she got this for?" 

No idea friend, no idea. She probably paid a pretty penny for it at some auction 20 years ago thinking it'd be a nice shelf or some shit. Never did anything with it. 

Off to the storage unit! 

They got the truck unloaded, Doug and I chatted a bit. The dude who owns the place had not shown up as of 6:30 so Doug thinks he's all bluster. She was continuing to drag her feet about leaving. Going upstairs and getting "one more thing," and coming down with a ton of stuff. 

The time to have gone upstairs to get those things was when the movers were here, so they could put them in boxes and move them. 

The time to leave is now. 

He told me that all of his cousin's books, magazines, clothing - all of it is still in the house. His cousin told us all his stuff was packed and moved. So we don't know what the story is there. 

It's after 11pm, and Doug's not back yet. He has not called or texted. I do not know what his plan is. I like that we don't call each other or text incessantly sometimes, but I'm super anxious right now that he has not called yet. 

Hard to go to sleep, ya know. 

Anyway, I was so distracted today I forgot to take meds at 2pm, so took 'em at 5. And I am glad I'm still up, I can take my 9pms at 11:30. 

More tomorrow. But look. Treasures.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  30 min indoor walk for 1.28 miles while talking to C, and then to Doug. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 112
5pm: 179 (*)
midnight pm: 123

food & meds:
8:30am: phentermine+jardiance
2:30pm: english muffin w/pb (*) forgot to take met+glip by 2pm
5pm: Met+glip; protein shake
red wine 
6:30pm: cheesesteak filling w/mushrooms & onions. a few french fries
midnight pm: met+ glip

The Over/Under

Last night, Doug told his aunt we'd come out between 1 and 2pm. We anticipated she and/or his cousin and/or the cat would need a ride to the new house. 

I asked him this morning what the over/under would be on hearing from her even though she knew what time we'd be coming.

We didn't make it to 10am. I would have taken the under on that. For sure I thought she'd call between the movers' arrival and 10 minutes after their arrival. I was banking on 8:15am at the latest. 

She said they were fussing about the amount of stuff (no kidding) and that they weren't going to let her ride out to the new place in the moving truck with them. Like, they were being mean or something but there were probably 3 or 4 guys who would be in the cab of the truck, no room for you lady. 

She called again at 12:45 while Doug was taking a disco nap. He said he slept poorly and was up until basically 4:30am, so he was beat before we even got started. 

So when we called back, she let us know the movers had taken the truck load to the new house, there is "still a lot" and that she wanted us to give his cousin a ride to the new place where he'd spend the night. We were surprised they were gone so soon. We were anticipating they'd still be there when we got there. 

He let her know we'd be there, so we saddled up. 

The place is a wreck. There is still so much in there - so much not boxed up, piles everywhere. It does not look much different than when we were there in the past to help try to clean. Doug said upstairs the furniture was all gone, so that was good. Her couch and recliner are still in the living room, surrounded by piles of stuff. 

She said they were mad at her that there was so much stuff. Doug laughed because .... of course there is. 

I started to have an anxiety attack-ish. I don't usually have anxiety attacks, but, the place stank of mouse pee and the AC was broken, so she had fans going and it just made me super anxious. 

There was nowhere to stand or think. The sink was full of dirty dishes (as I predicted) and seriously - there is another truck load of stuff. Even if they box this all up - what's the point. 

She has some nice things still there - a really nice bookcase in the corner, a gorgeous quilt shelf with a nice quilt hanging off it. For a while she collected duck decoys for some reason and has them all up on a shelf. These things are good things and should go to the next place, but the rest. I don't know. I think a dumpster is the best option. The trick is knowing what is real and what is trash. 

So feeling overwhelmed, I took a walk. I walked around the neighborhood repeatedly, to get 10 min. (the old Dedicated 10) under my belt. I talked to one of her neighbors who moved in back at the end of 2024. She asked about what was going on. She was really sweet, and we had a nice talk. 

Doug's aunt said that the movers were coming back (she didn't know when) and they gave her permission to stay at the house so she'd be there in the morning. Doug got a phone call from the lawyer's office saying "G had the movers take what she wanted to keep and they'll be back in the morning to throw out the remaining stuff." 

Um. That's not what she said or understands. So I'm anticipating the over/under tomorrow to be right at 8. 

I also wondered what size moving truck they had, because to be honest, the amount of stuff in the new place is a lot less than what I'd thought it would be? A box truck? A small truck? Certainly not an 18-wheeler? 

Oh and the cat is back so that's a good thing. 

She complained that they said they'll be charging her for the move (duh) and that every day she's been there past June 30th. Doug said "that's the documentation you signed. That's what you agreed to. I'm not surprised and you should not be either." 

The other thing is her car is at the shop. She thinks it will be fixed and ready for tomorrow. I doubt it. So she is there tonight, and if the car isn't ready? Where's she going? Motel 6? I don't know. She has no plan for the car not to be ready. And especially with a cat - I don't know what hotel allows cats? 

Doug's cousin's car was out of commission for months, but is fixed now. However, it is unregistered and uninspected. So technically he shouldn't be driving it. That's why we drove him out west. In theory - he could have driven it. Lord knows he's been driving it for some time unregistered/uninspected. He has insurance on it so one out of 3 ain't bad. But I guess they decided not to risk it. 

He has an iPad, and somehow he has internet access on it so...  he should be able to get on the DMV website and start the process for whatever the heck Virginia requires. 

I wish him well. 

Doug's cousin had a few things that didn't make it into the truck, so he put them in our car. And we drove him out to the new place, an hour west of where they are. We got to go on a road we've never driven on before, through Virginia Wine country, where every intersection has a sign pointing to a brewery to the left or right.

We talked the way out there with him. He's a man of few words but we got some understanding of what's going on with him. He quit a job he's had for 15 years, doing the relocation it's a shit commute to deliver pizza. He isn't sure what he's going to look for next. Again, I wish him well. 

Doug pointed out that this is pretty much the first time in 48 years he's living somewhere new. I thought about that, and how weird it must be for him. And it made me a little sad but also hopeful for him. 

The new place is decent. Half the size of what they had, and it will be a challenge to get the rest of her stuff in there I think. Three bedrooms, so we told him he gets first choice of which one is his. He and Doug walked around the yard, it needs to be mowed, but it is a nice yard. They are a mile from a ton of stuff like Walmart and just about every restaurant you can imagine. So we went to dinner at Mission BBQ, and over to Walmart because his cousin forgot his toothbrush and toothpaste. 

I told him to get a pillow. And bed sheets. He's got a twin mattress on the floor, fresh in the plastic wrapper, but no sheets. So he did that. He thought I was buying him a toothbrush (no idea how he got that idea, I bought a multi-pack, so he figured one was for him? Comedy of Errors.) And I told him to buy some food because he could be alone for a couple days without transportation. 

He did not buy food. 

So Doug has no idea what he's going to do in the morning, or the afternoon. Will he walk a mile to Panera? I have no idea. 

We brought him back to the house, and he said thank you. 

That in and of itself was a win. 

Doug was dog shit tired, so I drove home for us. Thankfully the rain held off, we made it back to a happy dog and happy son. 

And we'll see what tomorrow holds. Digits. Below. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 7pm for driving. Walk around Doug's Aunt's neighborhood while having an anxiety attack. 10 min/.43 mi. 7300+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

9am: 86
n/a pm: n/a
10pm: 132

food & meds:
9am: phentermine+jardiance
11:30am: roast beef & mayo on 647 bread
2pm: metformin. Dropped the glipizide in a puddle. oops. 
4:30pm: Mission BBQ, brisket w/some bbq sauce, mac & cheese and potato salad
9pm: met+glip
red wine

Offer and Waiting

Busy day, we went, we toured, we spent close to two hours, we made an offer. 

The things that need done are 90% cosmetic. We have some questions about some of the electrical outlets (ie: they updated the panel and most of the outlets, but not the living room and dining room. Why? and how much would it cost to upgrade these so we could plug in a TV somewhere). Most of the windows don't open, they're very original with the ropes and pulleys. Garage roof needs help. AC in the attic is drippy, so can we just bypass it and not use it (no one is going to live up there). We have to buy a washer dryer. Possibly a dishwasher. 

For a house built in 1919, she's solid, and we like her. 

We'll need a handyman for sure. And painters. 

The buyers broker (not the one we've been working with because she's only licensed in VA) is working on the comps and finding out if the house is in the historic district borders (she thinks it isn't but it's close). She's writing the contract. Hopefully next weekend we'll have our home inspection. 

The seller's agent told our broker that the sellers want to close quickly. I was thinking October, but they're thinking August. Doug pitched mid September and then we would have 2 weeks here. 

Hopefully we can break our lease without difficulty? That's something to deal with .... soon. 

After the realtor left, we chatted with the neighbors on both sides. The husband of the lady we spoke with last weekend, and the lady on the other side. They both were so sweet. 

We went to a local brewery, had a couple beers and some late lunch. Doug got a call from his aunt, and talked to her but couldn't understand anything she was saying so she had her put his cousin on the phone. 

Tomorrow may be a nightmare. She already is saying she's not going to the new house and she needs a couple more days. Her car broke down, she can't find the cat, blah blah blah. 

Doug told her "I don't think you understand, they're moving you out, and they're expecting you to not be there anymore. You'll be sleeping in the new place. You don't get more time." And she's upset because her car is in the shop, and how is she going to pick it up if she's on the other side of the state. He said his cousin has a car and can/should bring her back to get her car when it is fixed. 

It's not hard, friends. 

She said she's just going to tell the movers she's staying one more night, maybe 2, because of the car. And he said the movers aren't there to negotiate you getting out. You're getting out. You're two full weeks past when you were supposed to move. The people who bought the place have been very patient with you. You gotta go. 

He, and maybe We, will be going over there tomorrow. There may be drama. I'd rather not participate. He'd rather not participate. 

I'm super tired. So more tomorrow. Here are a couple pictures to hold you over. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Quick walk, 17 min/.7 miles; 7200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 103
n/a pm: n/a
11:15pm: 82

food & meds:
9:15am: phentermine+jardiance
11:30pm: english muffin w/pb
4pm: buffalo wings, 2 beers; met+glip
6:30pm: grilled chicken w/guacamole
9:45pm: met+glip; piece of cheddar cheese

She's Cute

Tomorrow morning, we're going to see that house in Hagerstown that we really like. The one that I said looks like houses that kids I grew up with who had lots of money lived in. 

She's super cute. I hope she's as cute as the pictures make her out to be. 

I'm kind of wanting a little bit to pump the brakes on all this. Mostly because I do not want to organize and pack. I feel like I need two friends to sit with me and help me purge and get rid of things. 

Doug's aunt is supposed to be moving, and the title company and new owners have been freaking out that she's not out already. 

She was supposed to hire movers and hadn't yet, so on Sunday they are sending a truck and crew over to get her out. I'm kind of laughing because neither Doug nor I feel bad for the people who bought her house. 

They have no idea the stuff she has. Will one truck be enough! 

For years we've been trying to get her to clean up or put things in storage but hoarding and mental illness are something you just fight against the tide and get worn out over. 

She basically told Doug she doesn't need his help anymore. Which is hilarious because I have a feeling our phone is going to ring at 8am on Sunday with her freaking out because they are there and fighting with her because of all her shit. 

Last night I was trying to fall asleep and I was thinking about all our shit. Some shit that got unpacked when the basement flooded over a year ago that I still have not repacked and organized. There's a lot we don't need to keep that we moved from Massachusetts. I should be doing that. 

But I kind of am having a hard time wrapping my head around the coming possibility of us moving. September? October? I don't know. 

I keep thinking of things in terms of the short-term happenings. Like going back to Richmond for a couple days to be with my cousin. Then the following weekend Linda comes down again. Then August 6 I go to Maine, and am not back until the 17th. After that, I don't have anything on the calendar. 

So I can't even envision things beyond coming back from New England that Sunday. 

We'll cross bridges when we get there. In the meantime, there are things to do and I should get myself in gear. I can't be mad at Doug's aunt for dragging her feet and not being an adult if I'm kind of doing exactly the same thing. 

This should motivate me. Don't be like her. 

Off to bed, tomorrow's a big driving around day. Up to Hagerstown and then Doug wants to do a drive by of a couple places in Harpers Ferry WVa. Wish me luck. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 2 walks, one inside while cooking dinner, 15 min, .61 mi. pokemon walk, 35 min, 1.55 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:00am: 145
5 pm: 113
11:15pm: 126

food & meds:
9:00am: phentermine+jardiance
2pm: turkey & colby jack on 647 white bread w/mayo; met+glip
6:30pm: pasta primavera w/ angel hair pasta, asparagus, peas, diced tomatoes, chicken
9:30pm: met+glip
white wine 

The Ghost in The Baltimore

(Wednesday and Thursday)

Geoff and I left home at 3:45 and I was sure we'd be in Baltimore fast but traffic was horrendous. Linda had a difficult time coming down from New York as well. 

The concert Geoff was going to was over at Baltimore Soundstage, so we parked the car over there so he'd have it to head home. I walked to the hotel where Linda and I were staying to meet up with her. 

We ate dinner, rather than try to check in because the line was a mile long. We finally got on line to check in and .... Our room was not ready. We got dressed in the bathroom, concierged our bags, and walked over to the venue. Thunder! Lightning! AaaaaAAaaaAAAA!  

I just want to say the staff at the CFG arena is so wonderful. Security was so sweet. I saw some really fun and very kind interactions. At the end I told the security lady in our section, who stood behind us, I was so impressed with her and how wonderful she and all the other staff I saw was. She said "make sure you always buy tickets in my section in the future. I'm always here!"

The show was spectacular, a true giant rock show with pyrotechnics and a truly amazing video wall backdrop. Mind blowing. The setlist is here, if you're at all familiar with the band. They're playing a lot of the same songs at each show on the tour, with very little variation, because everything is so precise and where people stand for what solos, where Tobias is, everything has to be just right. 

I was really happy that they played the song Rats, which is one of the songs that got a lot of airplay when it came out. Especially in Baltimore. As I was watching the show, I said "if they don't play Rats, it's a completely missed opportunity." Thankfully we got it. 

I didn't look at the set list online for previous shows to see if it was there. They played a lot of songs I don't know, but Linda knew 99% of them. But Rats, Square Hammer, Cirice, and Dance Macabre were the songs I really wanted to hear. One other one I wanted wasn't on the set list (Spillways) but that's okay. 

They gave me what I wanted and a whole lot more.

Baltimore Rats. If you know, you know. 

The lead singer has a policy of no phones at the show. He wants people to be in the moment, at the show, not looking at the show through their screens. I get it, but also, it's not the 1980s anymore and we are in a very different time. Everyone had to put their phones in a little bag, that could only be opened again with a demagnetizer tool. 

It's kind of a drag because I love taking pictures of the fans at a Ghost show. So many people dressed up. The girls next to us were so amazing. 

We got back to the hotel, wide awake until 1:30am. I woke up to pee at 7:30, and Linda heard me. She is a once I'm up I'm up kind of kid, but I tried to convince her to go back to sleep. She couldn't so she went downstairs. I got back out of bed, couldn't fall back to actual sleep but enjoyed quiet restfulness for a half hour, until the fire department went out with sirens blazing. 

Lin wanted to go back to NY, so we loafed around the hotel, drank coffee, got packed up and out the door. We got me back home a little after noon, and her on the road. She texted me that she got there at 7:45pm. Long assed trip. I wished she'd stayed but was glad she made it home alright. She gets to come back in a couple weeks. Can't wait. 

Thursday was a bit of nothing but relaxing. I worked a lot and found I had missed a whole swath of help documents to audit so that consumed my afternoon. Doug took Toffee for a walk, and I did a long walk inside at top speeds. It was easy to break 11k because I got close to 1,000 steps after midnight! maybe that's my sneaky way to get the 10k steps in for the day instead of falling short. Just do steps after midnight! 

Digits for 2 days below. 

Wednesday digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 4pm by a few steps; 22 min/.96 mile walk from parking garage where I dropped Geoff to the hotel. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 126
n/a pm: n/a
11pm: 176

food & meds:
9:15am: phentermine+jardiance
11:30am: english muffin w/pb & low sugar jelly
2pm: met+glip
5:30pm: chicken quesadilla, some white wine
9:30pm: met+glip
11pm: cheese, crackers, some pepperoni
mimosa

Thursday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. indoor walk, 35 min/1.72 miles. pokemon walk, 11,500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 126
5 pm: 109
10pm: 124

food & meds:
9:15am: phentermine+jardiance
2pm: english muffin w/pb & low sugar j; met+glip
6:30pm: 3 italian sausages w/sauce and cheese
8:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts
9:30pm: Met+glip
red wine

A Richmond Day

(a day late since I was too tired Tuesday night) 

I woke up at 5:45am. Organically. 15 minutes before the alarm. Body said, we've got to pee. and I obeyed, and got up and ready. 

The hotel bed was a little uncomfortable. It was like a futon mattress. My hip already hurts all the time, and I had a rough time getting up and standing for a bit. Do I dress and go down and get coffee first? Do I just shower and then get coffee? Oh my god this is so early. 

I opted to shower, and the hot water never got fully hot. It was kind of disappointing. Water pressure was great, shower itself was super nice, but ... I wanted heat. Hot hot heat. I washed my hair and quickly got out. Note to front desk, please look into this. 

The hotel was quirky cute. It's a Marriott brand, and I booked with points, affordable, and Lord do I have points! After I checked in, I found that I'd parked in a legal spot and didn't need valet parking. The spot was free until 8am. And they told me the ticket people don't usually start rolling around until about 10am. I knew I'd be moving the car before 7, so it was a perfect spot to be in. On street parking in Richmond. Amazing. 

I mentioned I didn't like the room art, at all. Here are some hotel pictures. 

The wall art freaked me out. What is up with those lips? It feels almost softcore porny? And the cigarettes. Gross??!! How is this art? meh!

The toilet is square. 

Okay, so most of the time, chairs may have square seats. I get it. But this was disconcerting. The square toilet freaked me out. Did not like. 

Overall, I have to say I wanted to really like this hotel. I've never stayed anywhere that the staff was as nice as the people here. From the 10pm folks, the bar tender and the other girl working, to the morning check-out experience. Everyone was so delightful. "I got you" was often the response when I said or asked for something. The bar tender asked me why I was in Richmond and I told her "to take my cousin for a cancer radiology meeting in the morning," and she looked at me and comped me a glass of wine. 

And when I took another glass of wine upstairs with me, she added extra, and told me "God's got you in all of this. You get some good sleep and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow morning."

When I checked out, I told the guy behind the counter about the lack of hot water, he comped me some points. 

He comped me the amount of points I spent on the room. I basically just stayed there for free. Crappy wall art aside, I have to say how lovely these people were to me. 

After getting a big coffee, I took my cousin to his appointment. He's a very difficult person. He's stressed out, he's in his own head, he's angry. He's finding all of this frustrating. We had to wait forever once he got put in an exam room. 20 minutes for the nurse, another 20 minutes for the doctor. He was visibly distressed. He thanked me for coming with him, because he could not have handled sitting there alone. I was happy to do it. 

The doctor is a complete riot. I mean. I think I love this guy. He said "I wouldn't sit you here and talk to you if I didn't think we could make a difference with your cancer. I've had patients come here, and I've told them, go get your affairs in order and do one thing you've always wanted to do. But I think we can make a big difference here, if you want to come along with me." 

The plan is 5 straight days of radiation therapy on his hip and the back of his head, followed by a rescan in 6 weeks to see if they've made a difference in the size of the tumors. 

"If we see shrinkage, we're on the right path," the doctor said, "and if we don't, we've got a problem. And we can discuss that later. But until then we do this part. If it works and shows results, we do it again." 

I really loved his kindness and compassion. He's in the right job, this guy.

After the doctors we went back to John's apartment. He hasn't been able to work, so he sold his car to pay his rent. Social work has not gotten him lined up with disability (it's been a month since he landed in the hospital). My husband was SHOCKED to hear this because it is one of the things he used to do when he worked at Boston Medical Center. "He absolutely qualifies for SSDI and I am so surprised the hospital has not kicked into gear because when you're terminal or borderline terminal, there's a next level set of rules and .... wow." 

I told him he should know how this works, but in this new administration, I think they've cut back substantially on staffing. My cousin has called 3 times and he's been told "we'll get to you." He has a couple of months before his money runs out. His rent is paid for a few months. But he's so anxious about being able to even afford food. He has no car, can't drive himself to appointments, has to rely on others. He had a huge fight with a friend who was driving him to things and now that guy won't drive him to anything. 

Medicaid is supposed to give you rides to appointments, but they want 2 weeks notice, they're never on time, they fuck up the requests, and he can't rely on them. I told him to put Uber on his phone and we'll send him Uber gift vouchers (or I'll just venmo him money, in case he'd rather have food).

I'm planning on going back down to be with him for July 21 and 22. I'll work from Richmond after his first appointment. He likes to schedule everything for the earliest possible appointment, so we'll be there for 8am radiation, and I'll probably be able to start working at 9:30am. 

Not sure if I'll stay at that hotel again, or pick something else, but... it's an option. 

I did all his laundry for him. He can't carry anything up to the laundry room, so four giant loads later he's got clean bed sheets and skivvies, and his favorite shorts and t-shirts. 

We sorted through some photos. He gave me a Phish box set called the Joy Box. It's beautiful, and I will never play it, I'll just keep it. I may just hand him 100 bucks for it. But he's been doing the swedish death cleaning thing for a few weeks, giving his things away. There is a lot of stuff. 

Right now, things look promising for him, and I think this doctor buys him some time. Fingers crossed for him for a number of things: success in shrinking these tumors; success in getting SSDI lined up soon; and hopefully some success with healing the relationship with his brother. 

The ride home from Richmond was great until just south of Alexandria. Thankfully C talked to me and kept me on the phone for quite a long time and that prevented me from pulling over on some back road (I missed an exit so the GPS dumped me in an area I didn't know, to cross over the Potomac by the Lincoln Memorial and drive up Rock Creek Park).

Here is a picture of where I pulled over to do some steps, right before the giantest thunderstorm ever. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  No walk, too hot to do a 10 min. at one of the rest areas. 8100+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

6am: 130
5:15pm: 98
10:45pm: 119

food & meds:
6am: phentermine+jardiance
10:30am: some cheddar cheese; large coffee
2pm: met+glip; 5 Sheetz chicken strips
6:30pm: piece of kielbasa & 7 pierogis
7:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts
red wine
9:30pm: met+glip

The ministry of presence

Last night before I went to bed, I realized it was July 6th, Aaron's birthday. Because he's all the way west, I felt it was alright calling at 11:30pm ET. 

Got his voicemail and left a loving message. He texted back at 2am that he's working (on a boat) out in the Aleutian islands in Alaska. We need to catch up sometime, hoping he calls back. A couple more texts back and forth during the day. I miss my buddy.

Today I worked a lot and headed down to Richmond, VA to my cousin John's in the afternoon. Allegedly a 2.5 hour drive, it took me more than 4. I knew I should have left earlier or taken the day off. I'm already taking Tues, Wed, Thurs off this week, why not Monday! 

John needed someone to go with him to a doctor's appointment tomorrow. If you recall, in 2022 I spent a week at John's apartment when he had his kidney removed. "Get outta here, Lefty!" 

Well, his cancer metastasized and is everywhere now. And he's really unwell. And they don't tell you anymore "We give you six to 10 months." They don't tell you how long, or what time, they just don't. 

Tomorrow he meets with the oncology team, and they said to not come alone. 

I'm happy to go with. I want to hear what they have to say. I want to be there to listen. He's a stubborn fuck and he said he's going to fight it with all he has. Part of me says, why? Why do this to yourself? What is it going to get you?

Doug and I talked about what we think we'd say if it was us. We know what we'd both say. But he said in the moment, in the actual moment, you don't know what you'll say. You just don't. 

He hugged me when I left and told me that I'm going on a ministry of presence, where you show up authentically. Not to go in and boss everyone around and tell people what they should be doing and thinking and feeling. You just go. You're there. Be there. His hug meant a lot, and he's absolutely right. I could sit in this room with John and hear what he's hearing, and in my mind it's a slam dunk of "can you please prescribe me some really good pain killers because this is going to hurt." Or like what I think is in his mind, "I'll go down swinging, fighting, spitting, and clawing. Let's go. Let's fight." 

After it took me for goddamn ever to get to Richmond, I picked him up and we went to dinner. He wanted to take me to a Richmond Institution, "Joe's Inn." The food was nice, I didn't want pasta so I went for a salad with a crispy chicken breast on top. He got steak tips but asked for rare, and got well done. 

He has no appetite, but he needs to eat. So he had a little dinner and packaged up the rest for lunch tomorrow. 

I drove him home and he went to bed immediately. I thought he may want to sit and talk or something, sort through some things, but he had no energy and needed to be horizontal. He's lost so much weight, is using a cane because he has cancer in his thigh, and he's just a mess. The kid is a mess. 

So I'm going to go with him tomorrow morning, and we'll see how things go. 

The hotel is cute. I like it. I don't like the room art, more on that tomorrow I guess. But now. Bed.

digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. lost 5 and 6pm to traffic. did a treadmill walk at the hotel, 15 min/.75 miles.  7600+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 143
4:30pm: 112
11:45pm: 177

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
10:30am: english muffin w/pb
1:30pm: met+glip
8pm: salad w/ chicken breast and bleu cheese. 1 beer; met+glip
10pm: 2 glasses of wine at the hotel bar.

It has great bones

Sunday's entry on a Monday. And Monday gets its own.

You don't have to read unless you are interested in us looking at houses. Which really isn't that exciting.

We took a leisurely slide into the day, breakfast and goofing off on the phones. Doug got in the shower and said "if we're doing this, we're doing this..." and we headed off to the Hagerstown MD / Martinsburg WVA houses to look at. 

Toffee is so good in the car. She sits in the back seat and rests her chin on our armrest. It's nice when she's there, breathing softly, even snoring, with her exhalations against the back of my left arm. I love her. I wanted to take her picture sleeping, but her superpower is knowing when I'm aiming the phone at her, and she opens her eyes. 

Hagerstown, MD. The first house we went to was a drive-by. It is vacant, and it is from the outside perfect. Needs a fresh coat of paint and I would say replace the aluminum windows (many are missing screens) at some point, screen in the back porch, and yes. 

It reminded me so much of some of the houses that kids I knew growing up lived in, down in Huntington Bay. It has that vibe. In the livingroom at my friend Jenny's house growing up, they had a grand piano. And I looked at the historical photos of this house and there's one with a grand piano. Such a vibe. 

The neighborhood itself is also gorgeous. Mostly single family homes, some bungalow style, cottagey feel, old trees, no new construction. Right around the corner from the house is a little neighborhood market that has been there since 1923. 

We went into the back yard once we figured out the gate in the driveway. The neighbor lady was hanging out her sheets on the line. So we said hello when she spotted us. We asked about the house, she's been on the market for over a month. The family lived there for about 8 years maybe and moved to Alabama to be closer to her mom as she's not doing well. They've been in their house over 20. The neighbors on the other side about 10. 

She said the neighborhood is aging and she's happy to see families moving in, instead of contractors buying the houses and turning them into two or three condos (evidenced a block away, beautiful single family homes converted into duplexes, a couple of strange apartment buildings generated off of the old single family bodies). 

They have grown children and a beagle named Lucy. She loved Toffee. We told her how we have a Geoff, no little kids, but a big one. 

Doug and I stood in the back of the house for a while, looked at some mystery wiring coming off the house and going to the alley behind. I noticed the garden needs some love with the hot summer heat. There isn't much grass to actually mow. A very large tree out front has a lot of sap coming off of it, so street parking is probably not the best idea right in front of the house. 

We're very interested. She's a little more expensive than I want, but I think inside there is nothing I need to do to make it livable, and the windows, screened in porch, paint job, those can come with time. I'm wondering when they may come down on their price, or what kind of offer they'd entertain. 

Then, to an open house. The house was listed at what we thought was a way too low price point and we wanted to know what was wrong with it. We found out. 

Incredibly busy road for one. No light at the end of the street so left hand turns are incredibly difficult, so your girl already hated that. 

It is an estate sale of sorts, mom and dad have moved into assisted living and the kids are selling the house to pay for their care. They owned the house since 1969, raised four boys in it, and it is ready for the next family. The realtor told us that they had an estate auction and sold the furniture and bookshelves, and everything. It was very successful. They were in the process of doing some work, like tearing up the crummy old carpet to expose the gorgeous hardwood floors under. The front room/livingroom wouldn't need to have the floors refinished but the dining room would. 

There are four good sized bedrooms upstairs, with wallpaper that I really should have taken photos of. Flowers, so many flowers. Four rooms of flowers. It felt like the 70s. 

The woodwork was absolutely stunning and beautiful, thankfully no one had painted over any of it. The kitchen needed the most work, no dishwasher and actually nowhere to put one. A challenge. They had a portable dishwasher with its own hookup, and in theory I think you could probably put one in the pantry but where you'd stick it felt really shallow so I don't know what would fit in there. The pantry was a really good size, and it could be where you put the dishes, glasses and cups, like a butler's pantry instead of just for food. 

There was a gorgeous sun porch off the kitchen, and I suppose you could close that door off, put the dishwasher there, and then a door to the porch through the dining room. 

It felt like a lot of work. A lot. For the right person.

The kitchen also made me think of old church kitchens, like the fellowship hall at the church we used to do a coffeehouse in. It made me smile but I don't see myself living there. 

The 2 car garage was huge, with enough room for a ride on mower, and a double door out the back to ride it on out to mow the absolutely giant yard. You would not want to mow this yard by push mower. Not doable. 

The basement was "finished" with a lot of wood paneling, and is too short for Geoff to live in. I'm 5' 7" and I had to duck going through the rooms. 

Doug talked to the realtor who said they priced the house aggressively low, and already had two people entering into a bidding war on it above asking. He asked if that was her intention and she said yes. 

I thought about the family, what they're going through right now with getting this all in order and the care the parents would need. I wondered about the personalities of the four boys. Do they all get along? Are they on the same page with the process and plan? 

As far as the town goes, Hagerstown is waiting for a revival, to become the next Frederick or the next Winchester VA. It has the bones for it. It just needs some help. There are a ton of rescue missions and churches. I've never seen more in one place, well, maybe Lynn, MA.  

We left and drove over to Martinsburg, West Virginia, which is super close to Hagerstown. This is an area we drive through on the highway when heading to Pittsburgh, but have never gotten off the interstate. 

The house pictures on Zillow don't really tell the story. The road is a 4 lane busy downtown central drag, close walk into town, but a horribly run down neighborhood. They put so much effort into the interior, it's outstandingly beautiful, but outside it is a mess. We parked outside and looked at it, and left. I know I spend a lot of time inside my house, and inside this house someone is going to be very happy, but it ain't me. 

Next, it was time to get some food. We had planned on a brewery in Hagerstown but Doug said there was one near where we were and we should hit that. 

It's always fun to find a We Rate Dogs sticker on a car when I'm out in the world. And yes, always tell your dog I said hi.

Amani Brewing is out in the middle of nowhere, and I'm not even exaggerating. We almost blasted by it because there was no sign. The GPS told us to turn right, so we obeyed and boom, there it was. We wondered if it was a beer farm, but couldn't see any actual hops or farming going on, just a lot of land. According to their website they're just getting the farming going. And they do bees, which is super cool, for their own honey for the cocktails and beers. 

The place was gorgeous, the beer was great, and we got their pizza which was honestly some of the best pizza we've had in this area. Hats off to the kitchen project.

Time to head home, even though the temptation was real to sit and have more beers. We knew we'd hit traffic. And boy did we ever. Holiday Sunday, accidents, road work, and what a mess. It took well over 2 hours to get home, and we were happy to get here. 

On the way, I texted our buyers' broker and asked if she was licensed in Maryland or West Virginia. She is not but said that she knows folks she can refer us to. I sent her the house in Hagerstown, and she wrote back "okay that's a super cute property and it is so your jam." She ran the comps on it, and said the price is outstanding. She's shocked that it is still available after a month on the market. 

She also recommended another town/area to look at and sent a few listings over. I didn't feel like looking at them last night. My brain hurt. Here's some pizza. Digits below. Monday gets its own entry. This was a lot. 

Sunday digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. lost 2 hours in the car (noon/5pm). very short walk around a neighborhood. 6500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 169
6pm: 134
10:45pm: 171

food & meds:
9:45am: phentermine+jardiance
11am: english muffin w/pb & low sugar jelly
2:15pm: met+glip
3:45pm: 2 beers, nice pizza
6:30pm: cheeseburger on a potato roll w/ a couple potato chips
8pm: ramekin mixed nuts
9:30pm: met+glip 

Imagine the Possibilities

Doug sent me a couple listings in a Maryland which was not originally on our prospects list, but he's got a wandering eye. And a couple different towns on the PA border may be really good. 

It used to be a church, and has been mostly converted to a residential home. The upstairs church part of things is still a church but the downstairs is the home. 

Check out the listing if you like. Very interesting. I started thinking about how it would be kind of a super cool place to have a coffeehouse, like we used to run back in the day in Marblehead, MA. The sanctuary is a great size, there's space to put in a guest sleeping area for wandering musicians coming through (up in the choir loft). I could see hiring one of my co-workers to design the sound and get a nice sound board and lighting system in there. 

It is kind of funny because for Northerners, we were taught the names of the Civil War battles differently than the south teaches them. This is Sharpsburg, which would be Antietam (probably rings more of a bell if you're from "up there," like I am). Southerners refer to the battles by the town name. My cousin John corrects me anytime I say something like Bull Run (no, that's Manassas...) 

There are only 560 residents in this town. And I bet a lot of tourists some parts of the year.

It could also be a place to host Scout Meetings or bridal showers with tea and sandwiches. I would wonder what this is zoned as. What would be allowed. 

Doug and I like quirky shit, you know. If you bring us to show us a big 4 bd, 3 bath rambling ranch with an open concept kitchen/dining/living space we'll thank you but walk out. Which is why the house we liked that got scooped out from under us was so perfect for us in all the ways, and our realtor gets it. 

Anyway, kind of fun to imagine a guest bed in a choir loft and soft lighting all through the downstairs so the musician/s sleep comfortably and safely and can find the bathroom. 

We are going to an open house tomorrow in another town in Maryland, not Sharpsburg. We have to bring Toffee because Geoff is at work. Slightly inconvenient, but doable. 

It's back to unbearably hot in these parts. So we just stayed inside all day, and I pondered what I should be doing today before it was suddenly 3pm and I had done nothing. Doug took a big nap and I thought I might go to the gym but lost track of time and didn't go. 

Tomorrow we are going to an open house. And a couple drive by peeps. To check out neighborhoods and maybe see a brewery. Not to let the long weekend go entirely to waste. 

Here's a couple shots of Toffee from this morning's cuddle time. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. indoor walk while cooking dinner and Doug walked Toffee. 20 min/.96 mi. Pokemon walk, 30 min/1.21 miles. 10k+ by bedtime 

blood glucose:

8am: 105
4:45pm: 114
10:30pm: 194

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
12:30pm: turkey & gouda on sandwich skinny w/mayo
2:30pm: met+glip 
5pm: celery & peanut butter
6:30pm: 2 pork chops, about 7 pierogis
8:45pm: met+glip 

Half Done Things

It's weird living near DC. We used to go to my office and watch the fireworks from the balcony of my building. Beautiful view to the national mall. They put some apartment and office buildings in the way and now you can barely see the Washington Monument, and the Capitol building is blocked unless you go up to the 7th floor. Which is now off limits. 

A lot changed after the pandemic. And with this administration. 

I actually had no desire to go see fireworks anywhere, with how rather unhappy I am with this city, this administration, right now.  

In fact, I thought my neighborhood might be quite active but as of 11pm, it is very quiet. Very quiet. Even my neighbor across the street who usually whoops things up is very quiet. A few distant pops, but not the barrage of years past leading up to and going beyond the 4th. 

Tonight it cooled off enough that a bonfire might have been good but neither of us were in the mood to go out and start one. And we were thinking that it'd get explodey out there. Better to stay inside. 

Last night, we stayed up until 1am looking at houses. We extended our search a little further south down I-81 and up into West Virginia. Even Hagerstown MD. Some real treasures out there. I thought perhaps we'd take a ride out west maybe today if Doug was in the mood but it got to be 1pm quick. That happens when you sleep until almost 11am. 

Not me though, I was up at 9, did my steps, and actually did a little work by sending out a couple emails to folks. I thought I hit send. Turns out I hit enter, which does not send your email. Doh. 

Doug mowed the lawn since Geoff has been doing kind of a crummy job. To be honest, Doug did a crummy job because he told me he was going to mow on the side of the house, and he did not. So it sucks trying to get to the garden hose spigot. I swore a lot about it. I pulled on the porcelainberry vines taking over the front fence but I needed the hand clippers, and didn't feel like going to get them, so I left it half done. A crappy job, myself. 

But the plants all got watered, inside and out. 

Geoff made a nice dinner for us, but he overcooked the beef. I think he follows the instructions to the letter, and these swiss steaks were very thin. He cooked them for an hour, but I feel like he only needed 40 minutes. Everything tasted alright so no complaints. 

Since he is working tomorrow, I set up the coffee maker for him in hopes it will keep him a little quieter. He can be so noisy. 

And our dishwasher ran 3 times today. That's a lot of dishes. 

Digits below. Goodnight.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   2 walks, one inside while watering the plants 20 min/.74 mi. Pokemon walk, 24 min/1.04 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 142
5pm: 119
10:30pm: 89

food & meds:
10am: phentermine+jardiance
1pm: english muffin w/pb and bonnie maman's cherry preserves
3pm: Met+glip
6:30pm: swiss steak in a wine sauce w/mushrooms, carrots, celery, onions (a Geoff recipe)
white wine
7:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts
9pm: met+glip