Quiet, uneventful day...

Doug ordered the drywall for the ceiling today. It'll be here tomorrow. I'm spending the day cleaning the livingroom and prepping the work areas so we can put up the ceiling tomorrow. Yippie!

This week is flying past. Aside from the fact we were away Monday and it felt like a Sunday, which made Tuesday feel like a Monday... I'm confused. I realized that today is Thursday and I need to call some guy in California for the professor project at Salem State. The company whose services we are looking to use for the synchronous video/audio is changing their pricing structure and business plan this month, which could totally ruin the project. If it is going to cost us an arm and a leg, we can't pass the fees on to the students.

This could ruin the project, and all the work and planning she's done over the past several years will go right down the shitter. So I have to call today to see if they decided to let us ride through the fall semester for free, or pre-business plan change fees.

Jack has been a pretty good dog today, one house accident. He's starting to tell us when he needs to go outside, which is so cool. He's got Kinger playing tug of war with him, and seeing Kinger get into puppy mode on a daily basis is cracking my puppy lovin' shit right up. He's such a good dog... that Kinger. Glad to see him being a happy good dog.

Jack is sans collar right now though, due to the fact he ate through his up in Maine on the last night we were there, so another trip to PetCo is in our immediate future. Plus, we are out of doggie biscuits.

This afternoon, hippie farmer boy Geoff got a hair cut. Now he looks like conservative republican army boy Geoff.

Either way, hippie farmer or army boy, he's my baby and he's cute as hell. I love the fact his glasses are crooked in the Post Coif picture because it makes his left eye look smaller than the right, and the right eye looks maniacal. He's too cute for words, that boy. This morning he went out with me and the dogs, and we harvested black raspberries off the vine for pancakes. While we were away, the whole bush went mature, and so we've lost quite a bit of berries, again. Same thing happened last year while we were away in Arizona/Utah. So I want to get as many as I can now, and do stuff with them. Like bake.

We need a trip to the market, but I think I can stretch it out one more day. I'm feeling rather unmotivated to go there. Doug and Jessie are returning all our empty bottles and cans right now, I think I did it last a quarter ago, and it was a ton then. It's a ton now. Doug says "Jeeesh, how much beer do you drink!?" as he schleps the empties up the basement stairs.

Had a little help, honey.

The only other real news is we got back the report from the psychologist at the hospital who tested Geoff a few weeks back. Essentially, she recommends retesting him. I don't want to get too detailed into the report, so as to protect him somewhat from other people's opinions in the world... but the day of the test he was non-compliant so much so that his IQ came back as borderline (75).

She knows by working with him even for just a couple hours that it's a faulty result.

Her report didn't state anything I didn't already know, suspect, guess at, or feel in my gut. But it is helpful to me because it gives us really good guidelines on what to do and what we may want to consider (medication and therapy with a child psychologist).

I really think (and this is NOTHING against her, mind you, she's a very bright and wonderful person from what I can tell...) that she was really wimpy with Geoff. And we all know that being a pushover with this kid opens up the pandoras box of poor behavior. So I think that had a lot to do with his non-compliance on test day.

Someone more like the character of Dr. Emil Skoda on "Law and Order" (if you watch it) would have gotten better results with Geoff. I have no idea why wimpy, soft, mousy women go into child psychology. Geoff gave her little or no respect or regard when he was in there with her, because right off the bat he saw (and I saw) that she was a push over.

Dr. Skoda would have gotten him to comply easily. He's a great character, and I enjoy when he's on L&O.

No.	Yes.
Wimpy Psychological Counseling is bad, m'kay? Right Dr. Skoda?

But no. I get the "now Geoffrey, we need to use our respect voice in this room, okay" kind of doctor... not quite as ridiculous as Mr. Mackey on South Park ("Drugs are bad, kids. M'kay?") but still, not the strong hand he needs.

And the thing is, Geoff's going to run into this kind of soft authority figure in his life outside of this house until he does something really bad I bet. Then, he'll get his ass kicked, and by then, I would bet you a million dollars that he won't give a shit about consequences, repercussions, punishments. He'll end up like some singer of some thrash metal band.

Don't want to go down that route, ya know? So when it comes time to pick a psychologist, I'm looking for a man with a set of balls. No softies. No squishies. All about being understanding and tough with the boy. And I hope that it works. I'm not sure how I feel yet about medication... I think it would help a lot, but I feel as a culture we just throw pills at everything, and that perhaps Geoff's not nearly as bad as we think, he just needs some serious one-on-one teaching and training. Problem is, that isn't the case in daily life. I'd have to home school him and work with him constantly, which would bore him and piss him off. And public schools aren't equipped to deal with kids unless they take their meds.

Anyone out there with any real world experience or advice? Your own experience or that as a parent to a child with ADD with impulsiveness and possible hyperactivity?

Feel free to fire it over.

Anyway. I've got to get some more cleaning and work done before Doug and Jess get back. Have a super day. It sure has been here!

Doctors Appointment Redux

The trip to the doctor went as well as I think it could have. I think he's worn out from the test. The doctor was a very nice woman who reminded me an awful lot of a friend of mine's wife... only slightly older, a bit more dowdy and a lot less hip. So that was sort of creepy for me. Initially Geoff thought he was going to get blood work, but she explained that she doesn't do that... he was obsessed with it though and wanted blood work done. Kept talking about it too, which I had to explain away to her.

He didn't answer any of her initial questions -- did this kind of hedging thing where he'd avoid answering questions by giving bullshit answers, or "non-sequitors" as she called them. It became rather annoying. I left the room so she could start her testing, and after a half hour he came out on his own. She told me he was non-compliant, in every way shape and form. I volunteered to come back in and sit with him, reminded him that he wanted to go to Burger King after the test and the only way he was going to BK was if he got through it.

That made an impact.

I knew that he was going to give her heck, and it was just what I wanted because it showed her that I'm not insane in thinking there's something wrong with my kid which required behavioral testing.

Like the initial response to my inquiry by this hospital's staff MADE me feel. Thank you.

He made it through only one test. There was a second one that he could have taken for another hour after lunch, but the doctor and I decided it was pointless and he would be in complete rebellion if I brought him back after lunch... He had entered silly phase, and every answer to every question was a quote from Veggie Tales or from the Iron Giant. "Welcome to downtown coolsville, population us!" It was frustrating but the one test gave her something to go on and she'll be able to work up an analysis for me. She seemed positive and supportive, and very nice. Which made me feel less like a manilla folder in a filing cabinet. She deserves a thank you note.

So we left. She said she'd call me in about a week. She advised I set up time to meet with his kindergarten teacher to start looking at an Ed plan for him for the fall. We'll see what else she has to say. She said that auditory processing may be an issue, that ODD was something on the list based not on what she got to view but on his history.

I feel like a nap is in order. Unfortunately, Geoff is running around listening to Jimmy Eat World and yelling the words that he can figure out to "The Middle," his new favorite song, which, in his opinion "ROCKS STEADY!"

He's such a magnificent kid, and I'm hoping Jimmy Eat World has assessed the situation well in said song, ignoring the fact that he says "Little Girl," which you can read as me or change to Boy for Geoff:

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
Everything (everything) will be all right (all right)."

Everything will be all right, allright!

I met a really nice mom who has a six year old who was taking a reading screening... he has serious reading issues just like her daughter did only no one believed her when she talked to the teachers in first, second, third grades... so when she saw the same trend with her son, she flagged it (and he's at a different school so this group of teachers agreed). Her daughter has an anxiety disorder now because she is petrified she's going to do badly at something, after doing so badly for so long. She's finally gotten over the reading problems, but now is anxious about schoolwork because she is afraid the reading problems will come back again.

Poor thing.

So the mom and I had a good talk about language acquisition, reading, speech (her son has been seeing a speech therapist since he was three) and how happy she is so far with this hospital, the therapists and the testing. Sounds like she's been through the wringer. But she agreed that getting her kids seen in the first place was a bitch.

My good friend GPJ once told me after going through ADHD screenings for his own child, that the hospitals, the schools -- none of them have YOUR kid's best interests in mind. They want fewer patients, not more. They often will dismiss what you think is wrong. I'm glad that Doug is in on this family because he KNOWS the other side of the fence, and knows how to deal with the testing, the results, the findings, the doctors. He has written IEPs before. He isn't biased to Geoff's side at all, and in fact asked me repeatedly why I wanted to go through with this sort of testing, knowing that getting the knowledge is a pain in the ass.

We just baked brownies. I feel a cup of coffee, brownie and some chocolate almond ice cream pulling at my elbow, calling me with their sweet little voices. And I'm going to scan the radio dial until I find that Jimmy Eat World song for Geoff again. You can't go more than 5 minutes in the Boston airwaves without getting it. It'll make him a happy camper.

Oh, in non-Geoff news, Jessica's birthday is Tuesday, so she told everyone at school she was having a party.

Great.

Doug and I had alternate plans, where we were going to take her, Natalie, A. and T. to the movies to see "Spirit," and then have dinner out somewhere, like Macaroni Grille or TGI Fridays or something. We wanted it to be a surprise. We told her we had something planned and that she should just shut up and not worry about it. She jumped to the conclusion that it was going to be a party after school. So already two moms have called me about it.

What the .... ooooooh! Kid!!!

So we told her what the surprise was. Told her to go back to school today and apologize to EVERYONE and let them know there is indeed no party. I'm still waiting to hear back from T's mom as to whether or not she can go. Truthfully, I'd prefer it to be just Natalie and A., but we'll see what pans out.

I don't really WANT to see "Spirit." It is probably one of those "White men expanding to the west are evil, and indians and horses are better" things... and I'm so tired of the widely pitched White People Suck theme. But the girls only see the "horses are cool" aspect of the film. In many ways they are being undermined and brainwashed completely into seeing that westward expansionism which gave us California and Arizona and the like (which would have belonged to the Japanese if the Battles of Midway and Coral Sea hadn't worked out the way it did, but I totally digress...), and they'll get a negative message in the end.

Feh.

I want to see a movie where there are GOOD people trying to build this country. For a change. They tried that a little in Pocahantas, but most of the whities were just opportunistic and greedy jackasses.

I hate kid movies. Except Brave Little Toaster and Iron Giant (which has an anti-gun message, but it is an important one, because it defines the giant in the long run. If you've not seen it. Please do).

So that's our birthday plan. I know she wants her own CD player, but I have to find out what CDs she'd want to go with. Stupid kid, turning 10 on me.

Doctor Appointment

When Geoff was in school we decided that he needed to be behaviorally tested. We made some phonecalls, got bossed around by bitchy hospital secretaries, begged for an appointment, finally got one even though this one particular bitch claimed that the "doctor says" annd the "doctor indicates" that Geoff doesn't need behaviorally assessed, he needs to see a psychiatrist.

Well, I'd agree with that if I had some sort of behavioral test to take with me to the psychiatrist, bitch. Give us an appointment.

Today is the day of the appointment. 10am in Salem. Our family practitioner really wanted us to go here, and for some reason they didn't want to see us. When I called our doctor's office back after dealing with the initial bullshit, she was angry and called THEM.

We got the appointment.

Geoff is getting dressed and told me he'll do everything the doctor asks him to do. He's actually really excited about this.

But here's the thing... in the last several weeks, his behavior has improved markedly, I'd say 10 fold. He's more obedient, blows up only when really really tired, has learned to control his temper, express his feelings without throwing things. He's doing really well. Doug doesn't think we need to go through with any testing at this point. My rationale is that he's great NOW because I'm home with him, we've been working on his behavior management, he's happier than he was 5 months ago. What happens when he needs to go back to school, and NOT be with mommy all day.

Hmmm?

Will the same behaviors rear their collective fugly heads? Will he turn back into Angry Geoff? What can we expect? I'd like to have a CORE eval done, and then figure out which direction we need to move in.

We shall see what happens. I will of course blab my heart out here. Don't I always?