The ministry of presence

Last night before I went to bed, I realized it was July 6th, Aaron's birthday. Because he's all the way west, I felt it was alright calling at 11:30pm ET. 

Got his voicemail and left a loving message. He texted back at 2am that he's working (on a boat) out in the Aleutian islands in Alaska. We need to catch up sometime, hoping he calls back. A couple more texts back and forth during the day. I miss my buddy.

Today I worked a lot and headed down to Richmond, VA to my cousin John's in the afternoon. Allegedly a 2.5 hour drive, it took me more than 4. I knew I should have left earlier or taken the day off. I'm already taking Tues, Wed, Thurs off this week, why not Monday! 

John needed someone to go with him to a doctor's appointment tomorrow. If you recall, in 2022 I spent a week at John's apartment when he had his kidney removed. "Get outta here, Lefty!" 

Well, his cancer metastasized and is everywhere now. And he's really unwell. And they don't tell you anymore "We give you six to 10 months." They don't tell you how long, or what time, they just don't. 

Tomorrow he meets with the oncology team, and they said to not come alone. 

I'm happy to go with. I want to hear what they have to say. I want to be there to listen. He's a stubborn fuck and he said he's going to fight it with all he has. Part of me says, why? Why do this to yourself? What is it going to get you?

Doug and I talked about what we think we'd say if it was us. We know what we'd both say. But he said in the moment, in the actual moment, you don't know what you'll say. You just don't. 

He hugged me when I left and told me that I'm going on a ministry of presence, where you show up authentically. Not to go in and boss everyone around and tell people what they should be doing and thinking and feeling. You just go. You're there. Be there. His hug meant a lot, and he's absolutely right. I could sit in this room with John and hear what he's hearing, and in my mind it's a slam dunk of "can you please prescribe me some really good pain killers because this is going to hurt." Or like what I think is in his mind, "I'll go down swinging, fighting, spitting, and clawing. Let's go. Let's fight." 

After it took me for goddamn ever to get to Richmond, I picked him up and we went to dinner. He wanted to take me to a Richmond Institution, "Joe's Inn." The food was nice, I didn't want pasta so I went for a salad with a crispy chicken breast on top. He got steak tips but asked for rare, and got well done. 

He has no appetite, but he needs to eat. So he had a little dinner and packaged up the rest for lunch tomorrow. 

I drove him home and he went to bed immediately. I thought he may want to sit and talk or something, sort through some things, but he had no energy and needed to be horizontal. He's lost so much weight, is using a cane because he has cancer in his thigh, and he's just a mess. The kid is a mess. 

So I'm going to go with him tomorrow morning, and we'll see how things go. 

The hotel is cute. I like it. I don't like the room art, more on that tomorrow I guess. But now. Bed.

digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. lost 5 and 6pm to traffic. did a treadmill walk at the hotel, 15 min/.75 miles.  7600+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 143
4:30pm: 112
11:45pm: 177

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
10:30am: english muffin w/pb
1:30pm: met+glip
8pm: salad w/ chicken breast and bleu cheese. 1 beer; met+glip
10pm: 2 glasses of wine at the hotel bar.

It has great bones

Sunday's entry on a Monday. And Monday gets its own.

You don't have to read unless you are interested in us looking at houses. Which really isn't that exciting.

We took a leisurely slide into the day, breakfast and goofing off on the phones. Doug got in the shower and said "if we're doing this, we're doing this..." and we headed off to the Hagerstown MD / Martinsburg WVA houses to look at. 

Toffee is so good in the car. She sits in the back seat and rests her chin on our armrest. It's nice when she's there, breathing softly, even snoring, with her exhalations against the back of my left arm. I love her. I wanted to take her picture sleeping, but her superpower is knowing when I'm aiming the phone at her, and she opens her eyes. 

Hagerstown, MD. The first house we went to was a drive-by. It is vacant, and it is from the outside perfect. Needs a fresh coat of paint and I would say replace the aluminum windows (many are missing screens) at some point, screen in the back porch, and yes. 

It reminded me so much of some of the houses that kids I knew growing up lived in, down in Huntington Bay. It has that vibe. In the livingroom at my friend Jenny's house growing up, they had a grand piano. And I looked at the historical photos of this house and there's one with a grand piano. Such a vibe. 

The neighborhood itself is also gorgeous. Mostly single family homes, some bungalow style, cottagey feel, old trees, no new construction. Right around the corner from the house is a little neighborhood market that has been there since 1923. 

We went into the back yard once we figured out the gate in the driveway. The neighbor lady was hanging out her sheets on the line. So we said hello when she spotted us. We asked about the house, she's been on the market for over a month. The family lived there for about 8 years maybe and moved to Alabama to be closer to her mom as she's not doing well. They've been in their house over 20. The neighbors on the other side about 10. 

She said the neighborhood is aging and she's happy to see families moving in, instead of contractors buying the houses and turning them into two or three condos (evidenced a block away, beautiful single family homes converted into duplexes, a couple of strange apartment buildings generated off of the old single family bodies). 

They have grown children and a beagle named Lucy. She loved Toffee. We told her how we have a Geoff, no little kids, but a big one. 

Doug and I stood in the back of the house for a while, looked at some mystery wiring coming off the house and going to the alley behind. I noticed the garden needs some love with the hot summer heat. There isn't much grass to actually mow. A very large tree out front has a lot of sap coming off of it, so street parking is probably not the best idea right in front of the house. 

We're very interested. She's a little more expensive than I want, but I think inside there is nothing I need to do to make it livable, and the windows, screened in porch, paint job, those can come with time. I'm wondering when they may come down on their price, or what kind of offer they'd entertain. 

Then, to an open house. The house was listed at what we thought was a way too low price point and we wanted to know what was wrong with it. We found out. 

Incredibly busy road for one. No light at the end of the street so left hand turns are incredibly difficult, so your girl already hated that. 

It is an estate sale of sorts, mom and dad have moved into assisted living and the kids are selling the house to pay for their care. They owned the house since 1969, raised four boys in it, and it is ready for the next family. The realtor told us that they had an estate auction and sold the furniture and bookshelves, and everything. It was very successful. They were in the process of doing some work, like tearing up the crummy old carpet to expose the gorgeous hardwood floors under. The front room/livingroom wouldn't need to have the floors refinished but the dining room would. 

There are four good sized bedrooms upstairs, with wallpaper that I really should have taken photos of. Flowers, so many flowers. Four rooms of flowers. It felt like the 70s. 

The woodwork was absolutely stunning and beautiful, thankfully no one had painted over any of it. The kitchen needed the most work, no dishwasher and actually nowhere to put one. A challenge. They had a portable dishwasher with its own hookup, and in theory I think you could probably put one in the pantry but where you'd stick it felt really shallow so I don't know what would fit in there. The pantry was a really good size, and it could be where you put the dishes, glasses and cups, like a butler's pantry instead of just for food. 

There was a gorgeous sun porch off the kitchen, and I suppose you could close that door off, put the dishwasher there, and then a door to the porch through the dining room. 

It felt like a lot of work. A lot. For the right person.

The kitchen also made me think of old church kitchens, like the fellowship hall at the church we used to do a coffeehouse in. It made me smile but I don't see myself living there. 

The 2 car garage was huge, with enough room for a ride on mower, and a double door out the back to ride it on out to mow the absolutely giant yard. You would not want to mow this yard by push mower. Not doable. 

The basement was "finished" with a lot of wood paneling, and is too short for Geoff to live in. I'm 5' 7" and I had to duck going through the rooms. 

Doug talked to the realtor who said they priced the house aggressively low, and already had two people entering into a bidding war on it above asking. He asked if that was her intention and she said yes. 

I thought about the family, what they're going through right now with getting this all in order and the care the parents would need. I wondered about the personalities of the four boys. Do they all get along? Are they on the same page with the process and plan? 

As far as the town goes, Hagerstown is waiting for a revival, to become the next Frederick or the next Winchester VA. It has the bones for it. It just needs some help. There are a ton of rescue missions and churches. I've never seen more in one place, well, maybe Lynn, MA.  

We left and drove over to Martinsburg, West Virginia, which is super close to Hagerstown. This is an area we drive through on the highway when heading to Pittsburgh, but have never gotten off the interstate. 

The house pictures on Zillow don't really tell the story. The road is a 4 lane busy downtown central drag, close walk into town, but a horribly run down neighborhood. They put so much effort into the interior, it's outstandingly beautiful, but outside it is a mess. We parked outside and looked at it, and left. I know I spend a lot of time inside my house, and inside this house someone is going to be very happy, but it ain't me. 

Next, it was time to get some food. We had planned on a brewery in Hagerstown but Doug said there was one near where we were and we should hit that. 

It's always fun to find a We Rate Dogs sticker on a car when I'm out in the world. And yes, always tell your dog I said hi.

Amani Brewing is out in the middle of nowhere, and I'm not even exaggerating. We almost blasted by it because there was no sign. The GPS told us to turn right, so we obeyed and boom, there it was. We wondered if it was a beer farm, but couldn't see any actual hops or farming going on, just a lot of land. According to their website they're just getting the farming going. And they do bees, which is super cool, for their own honey for the cocktails and beers. 

The place was gorgeous, the beer was great, and we got their pizza which was honestly some of the best pizza we've had in this area. Hats off to the kitchen project.

Time to head home, even though the temptation was real to sit and have more beers. We knew we'd hit traffic. And boy did we ever. Holiday Sunday, accidents, road work, and what a mess. It took well over 2 hours to get home, and we were happy to get here. 

On the way, I texted our buyers' broker and asked if she was licensed in Maryland or West Virginia. She is not but said that she knows folks she can refer us to. I sent her the house in Hagerstown, and she wrote back "okay that's a super cute property and it is so your jam." She ran the comps on it, and said the price is outstanding. She's shocked that it is still available after a month on the market. 

She also recommended another town/area to look at and sent a few listings over. I didn't feel like looking at them last night. My brain hurt. Here's some pizza. Digits below. Monday gets its own entry. This was a lot. 

Sunday digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. lost 2 hours in the car (noon/5pm). very short walk around a neighborhood. 6500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 169
6pm: 134
10:45pm: 171

food & meds:
9:45am: phentermine+jardiance
11am: english muffin w/pb & low sugar jelly
2:15pm: met+glip
3:45pm: 2 beers, nice pizza
6:30pm: cheeseburger on a potato roll w/ a couple potato chips
8pm: ramekin mixed nuts
9:30pm: met+glip 

Imagine the Possibilities

Doug sent me a couple listings in a Maryland which was not originally on our prospects list, but he's got a wandering eye. And a couple different towns on the PA border may be really good. 

It used to be a church, and has been mostly converted to a residential home. The upstairs church part of things is still a church but the downstairs is the home. 

Check out the listing if you like. Very interesting. I started thinking about how it would be kind of a super cool place to have a coffeehouse, like we used to run back in the day in Marblehead, MA. The sanctuary is a great size, there's space to put in a guest sleeping area for wandering musicians coming through (up in the choir loft). I could see hiring one of my co-workers to design the sound and get a nice sound board and lighting system in there. 

It is kind of funny because for Northerners, we were taught the names of the Civil War battles differently than the south teaches them. This is Sharpsburg, which would be Antietam (probably rings more of a bell if you're from "up there," like I am). Southerners refer to the battles by the town name. My cousin John corrects me anytime I say something like Bull Run (no, that's Manassas...) 

There are only 560 residents in this town. And I bet a lot of tourists some parts of the year.

It could also be a place to host Scout Meetings or bridal showers with tea and sandwiches. I would wonder what this is zoned as. What would be allowed. 

Doug and I like quirky shit, you know. If you bring us to show us a big 4 bd, 3 bath rambling ranch with an open concept kitchen/dining/living space we'll thank you but walk out. Which is why the house we liked that got scooped out from under us was so perfect for us in all the ways, and our realtor gets it. 

Anyway, kind of fun to imagine a guest bed in a choir loft and soft lighting all through the downstairs so the musician/s sleep comfortably and safely and can find the bathroom. 

We are going to an open house tomorrow in another town in Maryland, not Sharpsburg. We have to bring Toffee because Geoff is at work. Slightly inconvenient, but doable. 

It's back to unbearably hot in these parts. So we just stayed inside all day, and I pondered what I should be doing today before it was suddenly 3pm and I had done nothing. Doug took a big nap and I thought I might go to the gym but lost track of time and didn't go. 

Tomorrow we are going to an open house. And a couple drive by peeps. To check out neighborhoods and maybe see a brewery. Not to let the long weekend go entirely to waste. 

Here's a couple shots of Toffee from this morning's cuddle time. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. indoor walk while cooking dinner and Doug walked Toffee. 20 min/.96 mi. Pokemon walk, 30 min/1.21 miles. 10k+ by bedtime 

blood glucose:

8am: 105
4:45pm: 114
10:30pm: 194

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
12:30pm: turkey & gouda on sandwich skinny w/mayo
2:30pm: met+glip 
5pm: celery & peanut butter
6:30pm: 2 pork chops, about 7 pierogis
8:45pm: met+glip 

Half Done Things

It's weird living near DC. We used to go to my office and watch the fireworks from the balcony of my building. Beautiful view to the national mall. They put some apartment and office buildings in the way and now you can barely see the Washington Monument, and the Capitol building is blocked unless you go up to the 7th floor. Which is now off limits. 

A lot changed after the pandemic. And with this administration. 

I actually had no desire to go see fireworks anywhere, with how rather unhappy I am with this city, this administration, right now.  

In fact, I thought my neighborhood might be quite active but as of 11pm, it is very quiet. Very quiet. Even my neighbor across the street who usually whoops things up is very quiet. A few distant pops, but not the barrage of years past leading up to and going beyond the 4th. 

Tonight it cooled off enough that a bonfire might have been good but neither of us were in the mood to go out and start one. And we were thinking that it'd get explodey out there. Better to stay inside. 

Last night, we stayed up until 1am looking at houses. We extended our search a little further south down I-81 and up into West Virginia. Even Hagerstown MD. Some real treasures out there. I thought perhaps we'd take a ride out west maybe today if Doug was in the mood but it got to be 1pm quick. That happens when you sleep until almost 11am. 

Not me though, I was up at 9, did my steps, and actually did a little work by sending out a couple emails to folks. I thought I hit send. Turns out I hit enter, which does not send your email. Doh. 

Doug mowed the lawn since Geoff has been doing kind of a crummy job. To be honest, Doug did a crummy job because he told me he was going to mow on the side of the house, and he did not. So it sucks trying to get to the garden hose spigot. I swore a lot about it. I pulled on the porcelainberry vines taking over the front fence but I needed the hand clippers, and didn't feel like going to get them, so I left it half done. A crappy job, myself. 

But the plants all got watered, inside and out. 

Geoff made a nice dinner for us, but he overcooked the beef. I think he follows the instructions to the letter, and these swiss steaks were very thin. He cooked them for an hour, but I feel like he only needed 40 minutes. Everything tasted alright so no complaints. 

Since he is working tomorrow, I set up the coffee maker for him in hopes it will keep him a little quieter. He can be so noisy. 

And our dishwasher ran 3 times today. That's a lot of dishes. 

Digits below. Goodnight.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   2 walks, one inside while watering the plants 20 min/.74 mi. Pokemon walk, 24 min/1.04 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 142
5pm: 119
10:30pm: 89

food & meds:
10am: phentermine+jardiance
1pm: english muffin w/pb and bonnie maman's cherry preserves
3pm: Met+glip
6:30pm: swiss steak in a wine sauce w/mushrooms, carrots, celery, onions (a Geoff recipe)
white wine
7:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts
9pm: met+glip

Earworm

Do you get Earworms? 

If you don't know what they are, the Kennedy Center website has a nice writeup on them. Go read it and come back! 

Okay. So now you know. Earworms are loops of parts of songs that just play over and over in your head and you can't stop them. Today my earworm is one of the guitar solo parts of Neil Young's "Down By The River." 

Only, the album version, with the "oooooooo la la la la, ooh la la la-la part," and the electric guitar bits. I just like this acoustic version, and there isn't a good version of the electric version online that isn't just album audio. So go enjoy. Go enjoy Neil. 

Doug once told me that Frosty The Snowman has been stuck in his head for years. YEARS.  Which is bad. 

My earworms change a lot. Over the weekend last weekend I had Black Cow by Steely Dan stuck in my head. Better than 20+ years of Frosty.

Had a good but busy day. Got the final piece of info I need for the big DNS project to close out (yay!) and emails to send. Had an amazing catch-up with one of my Boston colleagues who left the job before our office closed but is now like super director of brand marketing high level dudeness, and it was a riot. I love that guy. So happy he works with us again. I did an indoor walk while Doug was walking Toffee, and Geoff and I got dinner started and pushed to 30 minutes somehow. Pausing to check an office issue/outage for our big product and our devs were handling it. Remarkably, no helpdesk tickets. And then Toffee and I went for a pokemon walk for a little bit just to push up the step count. There were so many dogs out there that I cut the walk short rather than try to play pokemon and deal with the leash and control the dog. 

Geoff has tomorrow off (we do too) and he's working all weekend. So tomorrow is the day to do some yard work, I guess. Hoping it isn't 900 degrees. I've got some porcelain berries to kill. He's got a lawn to mow. I'd almost rather work.

Digits below!

 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Indoor walk, 30 min/1.68miles; outdoor pokemon walk w/Toffee 16 min/.67 mi. 10k+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 115
5pm: 105
10:30pm: 160

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
11:30: bowl of mac & cheese w/hamburger
1pm: met+glip
3pm: last bratwurst
6:30pm: chicken parm
7pm: mixed nuts/trail mix
9pm: met+glip
white wine

Anxiety and Fireflies

(Started on Tuesday, finished Wednesday) 

Monday night Doug was looking at a house he likes and he told me he wants to go look at it. The asking price is 415k. I told him that's too much. They need to come down below 400k. I'm not comfortable with over 400k. 

He got snippy and said we qualify for this, we can pay it. 

Yeah, just because we qualify for it, doesn't mean we should do it. 

"Well, you want a house that doesn't need work, and things under 400 all need work." The tone implied that I'm the problem here. But no. I am not.

Yeah, but, a house could need work and the work waits. That's okay if it is livable. But fucking hell what if I lose my job. A mortgage of 2700. It will kill us. I need him to hear me on this. Please "in this economy" don't let us get fucked. 

He was super angry with me. I didn't care. I lived through this in 2008. I am feeling a great deal of anxiety over this when he's looking at houses listed over 400 and "it's just an asking price, it is negotiable." 

I had a mild panic attack on Monday night and went to bed, woke up, paced, went to the guest room, was awake for two hours, did not sleep at all well. Tuesday I didn't feel well all day. I feel like I fell down another flight of stairs. Back/neck/shoulders are killing me. Horrible headache. I started thinking "what are the symptoms of meningitis." Seriously, what are the symptoms of meningitis. 

I don't think I have meningitis. Or Fibromyalgia. Or Guillain Barre. Or whatever. 

But this sudden onset of pain, headache, and I don't know if I have a fever because we do not have a thermometer (they're all labeled "dog" and I keep forgetting to buy a new one) so I don't know if I'm dying. 

I have to get a thermometer for humans. 

Tuesday I drank a LOT of coffee. A lot. Maybe that's why I hurt all over? Stress, Anxiety, Coffee? I didn't put my heart into work, and I told the team I was going to rest at 3:30. We were awaiting a giant thunderstorm, and I laid in bed with the dog as it rolled in. Maybe the drop in barometric pressure is what's killing me? But over 2 full days?

I love Toffee so much. She's absolutely unbothered by thunder and lightning. She just looks out the window after the lightning flash, and cocks her head to the side with the rolling noise comes after. I wonder what dogs are thinking is happening. 

Geoff needed a ride home, and we needed something for dinner, so I went to get him and had him go into Aldi for makings. I cooked dinner for us since he was so kind to go into the store, a good trade off. I ended up not even wanting dinner, so I crawled off to bed at 9-ish. 

Doug is watching the Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, and I think we tried watching it a few years ago and gave up. But now he's elbows deep in it and I just can't stand it. 

This guy gets it. 100% accurate review.

I hate every character on this show (except Alice, poor Alice, but even she's....meh). So I am sick of sitting here cringing, so I just went to bed. I think I was asleep in no time, Doug came to bed and I woke up. Pain, hot, uncomfortable. 

If this doesn't break by tomorrow, I'm calling the doctor. 

In other news, Doug's aunt gets the keys to her new rental house on Monday. Doug has gone above and beyond the call of family duty to help her and I'm happy he's done with her. Until she calls in a crisis this weekend because she can't hire a move on short notice and needs us to help. LOL. no. 

The realtor she's working with has been calling Doug, because he's responsive. They were supposed to receive a check from her or a wire transfer, but she has done neither of those. And she's not answering her phone as of 11pm. Or all day. He just left her another voicemail. We'll see if she calls back while we're sleeping.

Work was good, busy, got a lot done. And the site launch worked out even though it almost did not. Mad props to my buddy B for being patient and not losing his mind on the call when the client was asking a lot of questions about how to do things, and all these things could be done after the site launch. They were not blockers. But they wanted a couple hours, so we gave them their wish after a stern lecture that we would not launch tomorrow because it is "Like a Friday" as Friday's a holiday, and Monday we're both booked, so the soonest the launch would happen would be Tuesday. They stuck with today. Still haven't gone face down in my spreadsheet but maybe can do that tomorrow. 

Took 2 walks today, both slow paced and I fell short of 10k but that is okay. Still not feeling the best and am hurty. I've noticed this year that we have so many fireflies! It finally got down to 80 degrees so it felt nice to be walking around out there, looking at them sparkle.

Digits below. 

Tuesday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  no walk. 4900+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:
8:15am: 106
5pm:115
11pm: 138

food & meds:
8:15am: phentermine+jardiance
12 noon: "skinny" rolls (15 g carbs) w/pb & jelly. wanted turkey but someone ate it all. bastard.
2pm: met+glip
6pm: small bowl of pasta and meat sauce (didn't finish it) 
10pm: met+glip

Wednesday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 25 min. One internal house walk, 25 min for 1.05 miles; outside walk for 25 min and 1.07 miles.  8700+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:
8:15am: 163
4pm: 137
11pm: 118

food & meds:

8:15am: phentermine+jardiance
1:15pm: skinny slices thing w/ tuna and 2 slices of cheddar
2:00pm: the rest of the tuna from the bowl (not enough to put away); met+glip
4pm: one leftover bratwurst 
6pm: chili w/meat and beans, cheese, sour cream, fritos
white wine
10pm: met+glip
10:45pm: 

Realizing we are past solstice

It was a hugely busy work day, I am supposed to be going over help documentation and every thing today was a total distraction. Got a lot done but not what I needed to get done. Around 9pm I picked up the laptop to look at the list and just could not bring myself to do that work. I have an incredibly light meeting day tomorrow. Hopefully no one will ask me questions about anomalies in a client's program schedule that happened over the weekend that we cannot recreate, or replacing a .php podcast URL with an rss feed - how is that done? Heck. I didn't even know you could us a php thingie to podcast off of. There's something wrong/fishy with that question but I spent a good hour with another person trying to tease it all apart. 

The entire morning was consumed by this site launch we were supposed to do today, but somehow there were some last minute issues (a remigration of content, copied over stuff the client and my friend B had done, so.... ugh) we made the decision to push the launch to Wednesday. We don't do too many of these, but the ones we do are time consuming and a lot of it is on B, especially with content migrations. There should be a whole different team to do that. But we do it, and do the absolute best. This client is a challenge though, and I really don't want for it to go badly. 

We made the right decision. 

Talked to Jess for about an hour, it's always nice to hear from them and we had some good laughs. I was exceptionally jealous of the lunch they went and picked up. If we're in Pizza Jail, we're also in Calzone Jail. 

Doug and I talked to our buyers broker after 3pm, and she said it does feel weird what happened with the house but anything could happen. And we can find something else but she's going to keep on this situation if anything new develops. She (the listing agent) has not answered the question "do you want a backup offer," so this may be some sort of inside / family deal and they don't want a counter. Fishy? I don't know. I don't really know all the details of what is happening with her and my buyers broker doesn't either. 

Still, rather frustrating. 

I did a big indoor walk around 5:30pm while Doug was out with Toffee. I was going to do 15 min but went a full half hour. It just worked out that way and I was in the mood. 

Then I needed some pokemon action, so I walked up the street around 8pm. I had waited all day for some good thunderstorms and it never happened, so I watered the plants and went. I didn't turn it into the full mile loop, because it was so hot and gross. Luckily the early 30 min walk was good to get me a lot of steps there and I didn't have to worr about a long walk in the evening. So hot and gross. 

It is still light around 9pm but soon it isn't going to be. We're on the downhill slide to darkness and within 5 weeks, 9pm will be all the way dark. 

Kind of depressing to realize that.

Not much else to report. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  2 walks. One inside for 30 min. 1.31 miles; short pokemon walk 15 min, .6 miles  10k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:
8:45am: 154
5pm: 165
11pm: 142

food & meds:
8:45am: phentermine+jardiance
9am: entenmann's chocolate donut
11:30am: greek yogurt, granola bar, blackberries
2pm: met+glip
3pm: some roast beef 
6pm: some fries, 3 bratwursts
10:15pm: met+glip
white wine & diet ginger ale

The Angry Day

Sunday morning I was up early with little sleep. I was sad about the house situation and losing out. Maybe I should have just done what C suggested and make an offer sight unseen. 

I also got a monstrous charlie horse in my right leg at about 3am. I tried to walk it off, stretch, drink a lot of extra water, it eventually subsided. It was behind my knee, my hamstring was so tight. I was so close to getting in a hot shower to hit it to help but eventually I was comfortable enough to go back to bed, and eventually sleep.

Because it was so early, Toffee and I had some good cuddle time while my phone did an Android update of some sort. I hate it. They changed the size of things and put many of my apps into Dark Mode. And some of my settings just disappeared. Thanks, Android. Super helpful. 

Doug slept in, and he seemed to be in a good mood at first but progressively got rather grumpy to the point where I said "why are you being so incredibly rude to ME." He told me after he had breakfast that his stomach hurt. So what. Take that out on me? No. Stop. I went out to water the garden, everything was looking wilty. I thought it rained here yesterday (it sure did out in Western Virginia) so I didn't water yesterday, but I guess we got ripped off here in the DC area. 

He told me he's pissed about the house, and feels like we should have gone out on Friday to see it. 

He suspects we basically got chumped by the listing agent, who he sees is playing Mean Girls games with our buyer's broker, and it's bullshit that she "didn't realize" T was taking us to the house after she showed it to someone and took their offer. She doesn't want to share her commission with a buyer's broker. So she's not responding to the texts and won't tell us.  

I said we can't know that (but ... I mean. Not a bad theory, but) and anything can happen. Also, it's Sunday and maybe she's busy with family and things. 

He doubts that is true. He is thinking the absolute worst dirty dog dealing situation. 

If T can hear back from the listing agent with info on what the offer was, and if we can counter, we'll see what comes. That did not make him happy. He pulled up the listing and was so pissed to see "under contract" on the picture. And then continued to be mad. 

T sent us some other listings. And he's even more pissed she continues to send us listings in HOAs up the side of a mountain 23 minutes outside of town, where they charge you $300 a month for mowing a field near the clubhouse we will never use. And she sent a listing for a townhouse and that isn't what we want and he was frustrated saying "she doesn't get it" but she really does ... she's just trying to be helpful and he does not have to look at them or respond. I had to listen to him rant. And be short with me. So I just went in the kitchen and fussed with things. 

Oh my god. 

He is also mad because he is helping his aunt and cousin fill out an online application for a rental. She's arguing with him that the rental company is "being mean" to her by making her do this. Why do they need a copy of my drivers license front and back. Why do they need a bank statement. "I went to the bank and asked for that and they told me they didn't know what I was talking about." They didn't know what your bank statement was? C'mon, man. 

And his cousin hasn't got paystubs or a W2. Doug called him today to talk him through how to take a picture of something (ie: the bank statement, or the drivers license) and send it to him as an attachment. We will print it as a PDF and attach it to the online application. He (the cousin) said he doesn't know how to do that. Doug repeatedly explained how to take a picture and attach it to a text. 

Doug is extra furious that they cannot even adult enough to find themselves some documentation, and get it to the rental agent. He signed up for the rental portal for them. He logged into her Social Security account to get a statement. He did this that and the other thing, and he just does not understand why they are so epically incapable of self-care. 

That was before noon and by 6pm he still had not sent us anything. 

"I'm going to have to go over there myself and do this, aren't I?" he said to me. And then he went to take the dog for a walk, even though it is 95 degrees and 90% humidity because he's just so angry. 

I thought about the gym, and my foot was hurting a lot today. I've done a lot over the past few days. So I just walked inside the house while he walked Toffee. I need to get back into a more steps situation but the treadmill just sounds horrible to me right now. I tried to take a nap, but couldn't turn my brain off. 

After dinner, I did go out for a pokemon walk, and it started to rain so I turned around and came back instead of going the full mile around. Got home just in time. I was 900 steps shy of 10k at 11pm so I went back out for a quick walk down the other end of the street to the other pokemon things, hit the goal and felt pretty good. 

Doug never did go over to his aunt's house to get what's needed. I don't know if he's going to do it tomorrow or whatever. His fuse is short, and he may just tell them they're on their own. 

He pulled up a house we had considered and were going to look at before The Dream House came on the market. He thinks we should take a stab at this one. The price is right, it's in the town I like the best and would want to live in, It needs a few things, like a couple doors that have to be replaced because they're all messed up (how do people mess up doors?) Nice level yard. Privacy for Geoff and we wouldn't have to put a bathroom downstairs. It works. It could be good. We'll sleep on it. 

Watch it go under contract overnight. lolz. 

Tomorrow's a new day. And a short week so I'm absolutely thrilled to cram everything into 4 days instead of 5. 

No picture, almost took one of Toffee in the back yard but she was too fast. She loves to run! Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Two walks. One in the house for 20 min, .94 mile; then outside but cut short, 15 min, .68 mile. And one more but I didn't measure time & distance. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:
8am: 154
4:45pm: 116
11pm: 105

food & meds:
8am: phentermine+jardiance
12:30pm: egg mcmuffin at home, with bacon and cheddar
2pm: some tuna salad (doug had a sandwich and there was leftover in the bowl); met+glip
6:30pm: nachos w/ cheese and spicy ground beef, sour cream & avocado salsa
8pm: finished the beef (not really enough to put in for left overs)
9pm: met+glip 

The Busiest of Saturdays

This is Saturday's post, I had no energy to share late last night. 

We got beat out on the offer on the dream house. Our realtor called us last night at 10:30pm. More on that below. 

Saturday early afternoon,  we went over to my work wife's kid's 8th birthday party. It was at an indoor trampoline park, we didn't get a lot of time with him, just enough for quick catching up and chatting for a minute. It was wonderful to spend time with R and her husband, mom, brother, and see A interacting with his friends. She doesn't like pictures of him on the internet so here are the cookies she had custom made for his Baseball Themed party. 

We hit the road to head out west to meet up with our buyer's broker to look at the one house so far we love. Amazing price, too good to be true? But we had to see it. 

Interstate 495 to 66 between the Maryland border and the Manassas area is always a shit show, like a goddamn Mad Max movie, and it is terrifying. I was so relieved to get into the open beyond Gainesville, so many cars disappear, and the ride gets so pleasant. The clouds were putting on quite a show for us, it was lovely and refreshing. 

We made it to the showing on time (thanks to Doug's quick driving skills) and our buyer's broker is adorable. She brought her husband who is a handyman, because she wanted his opinion on the "bones" of this house. 

The house is adorable, basically perfect. It is a little close to a busy intersection but not IN the intersection, but incredibly easy access to getting to the highways (66 and 81). 

There are some concerns with the property like the shared driveway with the neighbor but it can easily be rectified either by putting in a new driveway closer to the house, or widening the current driveway. 

I can see me backing up into his car while trying to get out. I'm not concerned about snow removal, the boys are good at it, and if the neighbor already has a plow guy we'll happily share the cost. 

I'd like to see a full finished bathroom in the basement, there is already a shower head and drain, but no toilet hookup. There was one previously that the utility sink drains into. 

D (the buyer's broker's husband) and I measured out where a would be, and it would fit, and be great. Washer dryer hookup in the basement is ready to roll, brand new, lovely. The only thing missing would be a window in the bathroom and I'm okay with that. He doesn't have a window right now. Just an excellent exhaust fan (unlike what he has now) would be mandatory.

D and I talked about whacking a wall out between the dining room and kitchen, spreading the kitchen out into the dining room, moving the fridge and putting the cabinets from the whack out onto the wall in the dining room. Kitchen island, with still plenty of room for a dining table and eat-in kitchen. It has the space for it. Doug already disagrees but I see this as a huge win if it is done.

The only weird thing to me is that we'd never use the front door. He called it the Trick or Treaters' or Jehovah's Witnesses door - the only people who would ever use it would be people who don't usually come to the front. Maybe Amazon packages. Maybe.

Landscaping out front - the house has a hilly front, a dramatic slope. Difficult to mow. Doug said he'd put in low evergreen cover or pachysandra because then you never have to do anything with it. I said that'd be nice on one side but on the other I'd love a 3 level terraced set up with perennials and then sow wild flower seeds into the boxes - it'd be beautiful, and would never have to be mowed either. 

We had really good vibes on this house. 

I could see my plants in the upstairs bathroom, office in this room, guest bed in that room, Geoff's space would need work like I said, but he'd have the capability to have kind of a living room area and his bedroom. And it isn't a "we can't move in if this is not done. 

And let's not forget the screened in porch for porch life. 

I stood out there on the porch as a thunderstorm rolled in, imagined the patio furniture, the little tiny table lamps, the candles, and just really felt happy. 

And putting in a fence to keep Toffee safe, we know exactly where that would go. 

We went to look at a second house in another town. It still had a lot of the owners' stuff in it. And it is a confusing layout. We are not sure what happens in this house. There is a large living room with a grand piano in it, then you walk into a formal dining room, there's kind of this weird interior room with a freezer, more cabinets, and a countertop (and a way back into the living room). The tiniest closet of a 1/2 bath is over there too. 

There's a large eat in kitchen, kind of pretty but the cabinets need new drawers and doors. A den, and a wall dividing them. 

And the wrap around 3 season porch in the back is fantastic. 

It's a split level house, so off the main livingroom there are two staircases, one up and one down. The one down goes to what could be an official apartment. It used to be a garage. Large living room with built in shelving everywhere, window seat with room for a small tv (we wouldn't put one there but they have one). The bedroom down there is huge and it has its own bathroom of decent size but nothing overwhelming). Laundry, and a utility room, tight quarters in that area, and an exit to the back yard. 

The other split level staircase goes up to three bedrooms, one good sized and the other two small. Nice full bathroom with brand new walk in shower. 

The mystery room in the middle of the house, wow. that could be a giant wonderful bathroom if you whack out a wall and close it off from the kitchen/dining area. Soaking tub and separate shower. Upstairs washer/dryer even, with the cabinets and marble counter top too. I see that potential. 

And the yard. The view from the yard is amazing, right over to the mountains. Large, level, flat, beautiful. Excellent shed, lovely garden, really nice. 

We spent a lot more time in this second house than the first one, but I feel like it needs so much work to make it ours, and it would be huge. Way huge, once Geoff moves out. Someday. 

Still. Seeing potential in that possibility. 

We told our realtor we wanted to make an offer on First Perfect Dream House, she said she'd reach out to the listing broker and let her know and start writing up the contract. 

Dinner. We needed dinner. We headed over to the brewery in Strasburg because it was closest and we enjoyed our stop in there last time we were in town. I felt much better after we ate, I had neglected to take my meds at 2-3 pm the way I usually do so it was time to feel super sick and shaky. Not sure how much of it was blood sugar and how much of it was anxiety. A little of column A, a little column B.

The place was packed! It's sunny out on a Saturday night, and this place was hopping. 

Buffalo fingers, a couple beers, and 7pm music. Robbie Limon was the performer, acoustic solo performance of all your favorite hits from Johnny Cash to America to David Bowie. He even did "Take On Me by A-ha, and hit the high note for "in a day or twooooooooo." Impressive. 

Doug insisted we have a slice of cheesecake to celebrate. Full of good feelings and some joy, it was a happy moment. Yes please. And yes, it was so good.

We headed home and I talked to my cousin John for quite a while. He had called me twice while we were looking at houses and texted, so I felt like it was urgent. He was in his feelings, not in the hospital, and that was a relief. 

He's giving away all his stuff as he's getting ready to face a cancer battle. He has a lot of thoughts and feelings, and cried a little. He says the weirdest things sometimes. Like he is getting a visit from a former co-worker at a restaurant, she's an "older black lady," he always has to mention someone's skin color. He feels he can cry with her, she'll be compassionate "like they usually are." He can't cry or be emotional with his Fraternity Brothers, all of whom seem to be stepping up to help him in his time of need, far more than family are doing (hi. What am I doing?) because "they expect me to be strong at this time." 

Dude, c'mon. You sound like a low rent version of a William Faulkner novel. 

Anyway. I'm going down there in a week so I can go to his Oncology consult in person with him, "because a person should not have to do this alone." This is true. And for as weird as he is, and as differing of opinion we have, he should not have to go see his Oncologist to talk about the depth and breadth of his cancer treatment options. 

When I was telling him about where we are looking for a house, he asked how far from Luray it is, which isn't that far. He said years ago he wanted to stop on a road trip with his friends at Cooters. There is a replica of The General Lee there, and he wanted to stop and see it. Not to stop at the restaurant and eat or anything, just see the car. Photo op. Roadside attraction. 

The driver did not want to stop because "she wants to believe that it didn't happen."

"That what didn't happen?" I asked, "'The Dukes of Hazard?'"

"No," he replied. "The Conflict."

Ohhhhhhhh. The Conflict! Yes. Let's pretend it never happened but also, The Dukes Of Hazard isn't a show that glorifies the conflict. It has a confederate flag on top of a car, and it about southern people and short shorts, and Uncle Jesse, and bad sheriffs. And Cooter. 

"Well," I said, "When I get back from Maine in mid-August, I'll come get you. We'll go to Cooter's. We'll have a meal, I'll get your picture with the General." He was very thankful to hear that. 

We were almost home when our Buyer's Broker called. Her initial is T. It was late, so I was surprised. I thought maybe she wanted to let me know she sent me the contract to look over.

"I've got bad news and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I didn't let you know."

I answered "oh no. Someone beat us to it."

Yes. 

She called the listing broker after we parted ways, and the listing broker said "Oh, I didn't know you were showing the house today." T said, "well, you gave me the key code in a text the other day, and I told you I was bringing people over on Saturday afternoon." 

"Someone made an offer this morning. I showed the house at 10am, and they offered on the spot."

Shoot. 

So.

I told her, "we'd like to counter. I don't want to get into a pissing match of a bidding war but at least, can we counter offer if we know what they offered?" 

Doug said he's happy to enter a bidding war. 

She said she'd find out what the offer is, and let me know. As of 11am Sunday, the listing agent has not replied to her but she'll keep us posted. This morning she and I had a nice chat, she's frustrated that the listing agent has not answered her question. But I told her hey - if it isn't meant to be, it isn't meant to be.

 But this house is "the bar," against which any future listings should be measured. It's our vibe, it's our jam, and now you know. 

"I figured that out within the first 10 minutes of being in the house with you, before we went up to the bedroom to look at it. I will hopefully find that next most perfect if this one does not work out."

Publishing this now, saving the Sunday entry for later tonight. 

Saturday digits

exercise: 10/12 hours.  

blood glucose:
10am: x 158
n/a pm: missed due to house hunting
11pm: 138

food & meds:
10am: phentermine+jardiance
11am: english muffin w/pb and bonnie maman's
6pm: met+glip
6:30pm: boneless buffalo fingers; 2 beers
10:30pm: met+glip

TGI.... what day is it?

Having Monday off messed with my head. I absolutely thought today was Thursday until a meeting that happens every three weeks called Sprint Review. Thankfully I caught on by lunchtime and figured it all out. We're under a time crunch for some work to be done on the site that is launching Monday. Usually sites launch on Not Monday and also Not Friday, so we were scrambling around 6pm to do some spit and polish. My boss is going on vacation (technically he already should have been logged off and gone) and he was contributing a lot to the work. He saved me from some serious scrambling by the end, and I won't have to sweat it on Monday. Boom like that.

It rained most of the day but the heat broke, and that was nice. After dinner, I managed to squeeze in a pokemon walk, it had stopped raining and was just a little misty and humid. By the time I was approaching the house the misty was turning into a steady drippy, and I was happy to get back inside. I had been tempted to add another block or so to the party to get to a full solid half hour. 

Body is feeling pretty good, and was willing to stick with it except for the rain. I didn't want to go to the gym because after 4pm it gets super crowded even on a Friday night! 

Tomorrow we've got a huge and busy day. We're going to my work wife's son's 8th birthday party (is he my son too if she's my work wife?) It's at a trampoline park and we're mostly going so R won't lose her mind and can socialize with people she loves. We have to bail early though - we're driving out west to visit houses with our realtor, and it is a 2 hour drive from where the party is, and I hate being late. We'll have some good social time, hugs and kisses, hand off the present, and leave before the cupcakes (he doesn't like cake but he loves cupcakes). 

I'm super excited about one of these houses. It checks ALL the boxes except one - fenced in yard. But we can get that done. it has 3/4 an acre of land, a cute as fuck front, screened in porch and Sunroom. 2 full baths (there isn't one in the basement but we can look into what that would entail. A water pump for the toilet/drains/whatever. I think we have that already in the basement here for Geoff's toilet. 

Wish us luck, okay?

Right now, Doug's on the phone with his aunt. He tried calling her all evening and she just now finally answered. 

She hired a rental agent, very close to where we're moving (effing damnit to hell) and they found a house rental for her who will accept her, the cat, her son, and wants her to pay a year's rent up front. 

Which she thinks is "mean." But lady - you sold your house. You did this to yourself. You did not have to do this. You have basically a negative credit score. Pay a year up front and shut up and thank your lucky stars someone is going to rent to you because to be honest, I would not.

She and Doug's cousin went out to see it today. There is a WHOLE story about that but I'll keep it.  The rental agent asked her to  her to fill out the online application and provide attachments of documents, but she has no internet access. The rental agent has Doug's phone number so she called him today to ask for his assistance in helping her get this together ASAP.

He's doing it for her. She needs a letter from her pension bureau and social security, permission to run her CORI report, oh and his cousin has to do this too, and provide his W2s which he does not have. 

So while he's on the phone dealing with that drama, I'm taking a ZZZquillll and going to bed. 

My husband is a saint.

Alright. Digits below, no picture, bedtime. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 23 min. walk, 1.01 miles. 7200+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:
8:45am: 122
4:30pm: 122
10:30pm: 190 *

food & meds:
8:45am: phentermine+jardiance
12:15pm: pb& low sugar j on 647 italian bread
4:30pm: met+glip (forgot to take around 2-3pm) 
6:30: bowl of rotini w/cheese and sausage
*10:30pm: met+glip (note the blood sugar, waited until 10:30pm to take the medication because I forgot to take the first dose earlier in the day)
no wine/alcohol