I blew a gasket at Doug on Saturday, something I try not to do, but he frayed my very last nerve to the point where the aneurysm was inevitable so I felt I'd best just make it dramatic and go out screaming.
Our house is a perpetual disaster area. Between our equally slothful natures and the two children and the large black dog, lets just say it's not a pretty sight. So with a sitter coming, I felt she didn't deserve to walk into the house of horrors we live in and that we ought to make an effort to clean the place up.
So Saturday morning I got up, started cleaning. Sent Jessica to her room to continue cleaning (every weekend I send her to her room. Her definition of clean isn't the same as mine, so every weekend starts with me demanding she go pick up). She volunteered to do the bathrooms, did a decent job at that I must say.
Doug opted to take the dog for an incredibly and excessively long walk. When he got back, he opted to take a nap.
Then, I needed to swing to the grocery store to pick up some things, and he said "okay, I'm going to rake leaves."
-Uh, no. No, you aren't.
-Uh yes, yes I am. There are leaves in the yard and I want to rake leaves.
I accused him of ducking the cleaning thing all together, accused him of just avoiding the one thing I wanted him to do -- clean the study.
Now, the study is the black hole of the house. Everything ends up there. Doug prints stuff and then doesn't need it, so it goes on the floor. There's an unbelievable amount of Dog Hair in there, crap everywhere, the kids and the husband never put away CDs when they use them... they just plop them on the counter. It makes me mental. I don't even USE the study anymore, I just use the computer at work and when I get home I don't deign to go in there.
So I wanted him to clean it because he's chief room messer when it comes to that place. He was none too happy and cleaned the room with anger and pissed offedness while I made dinner and continued cleaning the kitchen.
After he was done I told him I appreciated him cleaning, but was really upset that he drove me to freakoutsville. He didn't speak to me for the evening, and I just can't stand that I have to deal with him when he doesn't want to participate in the maintenance of our home. Ugh.
Enough before I get pissed again.
So here are the two big weekend updates. The babysitter; the wedding:
Babysitter
Our kids love her. We love her. She had a blast. She thinks Jessica is a diva, Geoff is a riot. She was concerned with him because everything out of his mouth was straight from Shrek, and I told her that he does that when he latches onto something. Either quotes Blues Clues or Toy Story ad infinitum. So she felt better. They bonded. They baked cookies. They played outside. She'll be brought back.
My buddy Brian's wife was impressed that my kids are okay with being left with a total stranger. And to tell the truth it makes me proud to know that they know the difference between a stranger I tell them they're supposed to get to know and hang out with and be good to and the "strangers" that pose harm.
Neither of them have ever really given any babysitters any problems. Actually, that's not true. Jessica once had a babysitter state that she'd never babysit her again, she was 4, and the babysitter was a snot, so it was all for the best. The girl was scared of dogs, and at the time we only had Missy, but after we got home she said to me "I'd watch your dog anyday, but not the kid."
Uh, great.
So they had a blast. And I am psyched.
Wedding
What can I say. Where can I start...
Dan Got Married. It's amazing to me. I still am kind of shocked. They've been together so long (longer than I've known them) that it is still kind of bizarre that they actually did this. I think that in the back of my mind I never thought this would actually happen ...
But it did.
Honey was lovely, she wore a rose colored dress from Thailand, her maid of honor Rita was in peach. The junior bridesmaids (her two nieces from Florida) wore traditional Thai dresses, and Dan's younger sister wore a very red sparkly gown and looked very very cold and shy during the ceremony. The wedding and reception were in the Back Bay Hilton in Boston, and the food and libations were excellent. A gala affair. Dan looked nervous, but he weathered everything well. He wore a nice silk shirt and had to wear brown shoes, I suppose it's a tradition.
Initially it was supposed to be a Buddhist and justice of the peace ceremony. But we ended up witnessing a Catholic priest and no Buddhism except for little things like the flowers, some clothing, and a table with pictures of people who could not be there, specifically Honey's mom. I'd hoped for something more traditional, but hey, not my wedding. Doug thought the priest was a bit scattered, confused, and actually whispered to me during the ceremony (wonderfully brief, but we stood for the whole thing) "he's just making this up as he goes along isn't he?"
Dan tripped over the word fidelity. We joke around a lot that Dan is stupid, which he isn't really, but it's fun to joke, and that words with more than two syllables need to be removed from the English language because Dan doesn't know them. A lot of times I'll use a word and hand Dan a dictionary or lean aside in the middle of my sentence and define it. So when he tripped over fidelity, we laughed. He looked like he was at once trying not to pass out, come kill us, and laugh all at once.
The best part of the wedding was the flowers. Honey's family owns a shop in Boston, and they do unFRIGGINbelievable floral arrangements. The flowers alone would have cost someone who was paying for them like $10,000 retail I am sure. Two giant floral arrangements in the little hall, three giant arrangements in the reception, orchids for the lapels and dresses of ALL the guests, arrangements on every table in the cocktail lounge, it was astounding. Orchids, Roses, Lillies, the fragrance alone worth a thousand dollars.
A beautiful sight all around.
Honey's brother did a lot of the work, for this wedding, and I know Honey did a lot too. Her maid of honor hat a lot to do with planning and execution as well. The brother is riot in and of himself. He's rather... gay. And I didn't know that fact prior to meeting him, but it is one of those things where it is SO obvious the minute you see him. When he came into the room, I said "Ah, so THIS is the brother!" He was almost queenlike, but only 5'4".
He actually swishes. Which is so funny... He's Thai (obviously) and has this gorgeous skin and beautiful mouth, he shaves his head... so his overall presentation was super gay. If gay had a superhero, it would be him.
He is LOVELY sweet, and super friendly. Ugh I simply adored meeting him.
During the reception the musical duo singing lounge standards and lovesongs did "Wind Beneath My Wings" (ugh, groan... but it's not my wedding) and Honey had them dedicate it to him. Both of them were sitting there crying softly. It was heartbreaking, and not just because I hate that song (grin, laugh). They were so cute and it was so touching.
At one point later in the reception he was making his rounds and saying hello, and he came around to me and leaned between me and the guest beside me, my friend Peg's husband, and asked how we were enjoying everything, then we did this cheek kissy thing that he was doing with everyone and it was so sweet. Bill, the guy next to me, an older gentleman who is quite the wise ass, says "so do you know him?" and I smiled and said, "nah, that's the very first time I've met him..." Bill laughed and was impressed at how super friendly I am with new people. I laughed and said that he (Bill) was too. Later in the dinner I got the opportunity to tell him he has the patience of saints (being married to Peg!) and told him he was a wiseass, which he loved. That was fun.
As we were leaving Honey gave me her bouquet. I told her that she was supposed to throw it over her shoulder at a crowd of single gals, she didn't think that anyone would care. She's funny because she works wiht flowers all day that she just isn't impressed with them the way we are. So I have this little nosegay of roses hanging at my desk drying. When they are fully dry I'm going to hang them over my bed.
Honey lost her mother about 3 years ago now, and I am unsure of where her dad is, but she's got two brothers here in the USA and a mess of brothers back in Thailand, and they didn't make it, so this was truly her time to shine with her brothers' assistance. It was really nice, and I am so glad they invited us.
In other news, a plane crashed just outside JFK airport in NY today, so people are freaking out. My buddy Scott emails me saying "you know it's bad when you're just hoping this is mechanical error and an accident, not a terrorist act." Agreed.
Doug and the kids both have today off, which pisses me off... but at least I had the house to myself while getting ready this morning. Geoff got in our bed at like 6:30 and tossed and turned, until I couldn't take it anymore and I got up to get ready. He fell back asleep and by the time I left at 8 he was snoring away by his daddy. Jealousy raged. But I got to play with my hair and curl it, something I never have the time to do. I got to eat breakfast, something I never have the time to do. And I drove in at a leisurely pace, something I never do.
Well, that's the muppet update from over here. In seven days I will be 35, in 5 days I see BNL. After that, life will be anticlimactic.
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