A few times since returning from Oregon, I've had dreams about water travel.
I dreamed that I worked on Aaron's boat, that I was the tour guide while he drove the boat. Six people were in the salon with me, and I was telling them stories about the Columbia River and history like I really knew what I was talking about. Everyone was looking out the windows, and hanging on my stories. I was taking photos with a tablet device, so I could automatically upload them to social media during the tour.
Get this: I'm such a nerd, you guys, that even in my dream I gave people photo release forms at the beginning of the cruise and made sure those who didn't want their pictures included in social media were protected from having their images shared.
How weird is that detail?
At the end of the cruise, back at the dock, Aaron and I helped people disembark and the smiling passengers shook Aaron's hand, and they hugged me. Catch that fact - people... hugged me.
I dreamed about a world where I could get hugs from strangers without thinking about "this person is closer than 6 feet, this person is touching me, none of us are wearing masks."
Aaron and I were talking the other day and he said he would love it if I was the tour guide. Long time readers of this blog know that Aaron and I throw a good party. We plan really fun things. I really do bet we'd have one hell of a great tour with him cruising up the river, and me telling stories.
Upon waking, I wondered if I truly hate my job. I mean, I love my job. But if I'm dreaming about other jobs where I think I'd have more fun, or I'd be happier, that's telling. Even a job that would probably pay a pittance of what I earn now.
A lot of my co-workers have relocated to other spots. My boss moved to Vermont. One co-worker is staying in his mom's condo on the Eastern shore, because she can't Air BnB it and so he's paying rent to her to keep the place from going into foreclosure. Someone asked me if I would move to Astoria and work from there. I have been fantasy shopping for house rentals - nothing is available in my price range with 1.5 baths. Gotta have that second shitter, yo.
It's a tempting prospect. I could work my job, and then do tours in the afternoon out there (long after East Coast Hours are over) or weekends.
Huh. Hmmmm.... yeah.
I've had a rough couple weeks. The first week back from vacation was alright. Last week was an epic shit-show and I made a terrible mistake of something, I avoided people who wanted to ask me questions, I found out one of my very favorite people in the "building" (we're not in the building, and who knows when we ever would be) gave his notice, and twice last week he postponed having a little time with me.
It was an emotional week for sure, but not an "I'm going to quit my job because this is the most worst."
Last night I had a dream where we are in a car, Doug is driving, and there are people in the car with us, and the car is driving on the water. So kind of like a boat. Jess was in the front seat, I was in the back, and the other people in the car were identified as new next door neighbors to a house we'd just moved into.
I have no idea where we were going but they were talking very hatefully about homosexuality and trans people. I was calling them out on it, Doug was trying to keep the car steady, and Jess was incredibly uncomfortable.
I woke up from that very angry that I couldn't get them to shut up and stop being so cruel. There's no reason for it - it's no skin off your rosy nose if someone's whatever they are. Just let them be.
The vehicles on the water thing is very interesting to me. It seems to imply journeymaking, having a destination somewhere. The social aspect of being in a vessel with people outside of my family (and even Jess, who does not want to travel or have us come up to visit because we're in a pandemic and all that) means I probably am longing for people and company.
But in one dream the people were all fantastic, and in the next they were horrid. It is a true fact, well known across the nations.
In another dream, no cars, no boats no water, we were moving into a new house. Strangely, the house was an old colonial, so it couldn't be an Oregon house. No such thing there, really.
It was similar to the brown house we lost to bankofassholica years ago, but more modern. There was a giant hearth in the dining room, and the dining room bled into the living room - no walls separating them. So you could look from the dining table straight forward to the giant double windows in the livingroom. Doug was setting up a flat screen TV against the wall of the staircase going up to the second floor.
I was setting the dining table for dinner, and walking back to the kitchen which was on the other side of the hearth. The hearth was central - you could walk to the left or right, and get to the kitchen either way. To the right was a nice wall of windows looking at the yard. On the left, if you went that way, there was a butler's pantry you'd have to walk through, with lots of storage and shelves and it made me think a little of the kitchens in places like the mansions of Newport, RI, only much smaller.
The hearth had two openings, which was super cool, I've always liked that look. In the kitchen, the walls were all grey, white and black tile. There was a six burner gas stove, double-door fridge from Sub Zero, giant butchers block in the center, ample counter space.
Jess' friends from high school came down a second set of stairs into the kitchen, Byron (Jess and Byron aren't really friends anymore since Byron dumped her best friend/his fiancé a while back) and Nick. They both did Shakespeare camp with Jess back in 2010. I like both of them (even if Byron flaked out on Molly, but ... she dodged a bullet there I think). They were doing a reenactment of some Monty Python sketches, and I was laughing pretty hard.
The wall of windows by the hearth had a sliding glass door out to the garden, it was wide open. There were two dogs coming in and out - no screen to stop them. I didn't get a good look at them but they were happy.
We have to move in March, and I guess I'm also fantasizing about houses. And dogs. And again, people I have not seen in a long time, people I love and miss.
My mind is doing interesting things and going interesting places without me.
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