Some things are not meant for you, or me, or us

I was going to go to the gym mid-day but got swept up in thoughts and feelings and writing and thinking. Then, after dinner, I had ... wine. Wasn't going to have anything to drink but. Today. Today was a challenge. And wine is nice.

I spent the morning learning more about the Kendrick Lamar half time show during the Super Bowl. A few of my friends and family posted to Facebook that they hated it. They hated all of it. They didn't understand it. It was horrible. It was stupid. They were absolutely offended by it. 

Now.

Hmmm. 

I know just enough about Kendrick (aka Kenny to some) and some of his Beef with Drake. I know a few things about him as a person. I know he has a Pulitzer Prize for his writing. 

I know so many black friends who went into this cringing "this is not going to go well. He's going to go right over the heads of not just white people but a lot of black people." He is educated, erudite, a wordsmith. He is political. He is challenging. 

And I only knew one song going in. One. And he played it. Boy did he ever.

There was a lot there, a lot visually, a lot to unpack. A lot to sit down and read the next day that explained a lot of what we saw. I was okay with that. I want to learn more. 

After talking to my work bestie all morning, I posted something to Facebook which I think got the most comments, the most reactions and to be honest the most discussion amongst the people I'm friendly with. 

It was by and far understanding and kind, even when people were a little "excuse me? what did you just say?" 

One of my big take-aways from all this is that there is art, and performance, and things that are not meant for everyone. And that's okay. 

A friend of mine said that for the past couple of years the "vibe" has been a certain way. And I wanted to say, "what do you mean by vibe? Black people?"

She's a big country music fan and she said the last time it was "country" was 1994. Well okay, maybe country is overdue for some representation on the field. But if you look at the last 10 years, yes. Sure. the "vibe" has been a certain way. Which I take you as masking your racism, in some ways but okay. 

None of the "vibe" are unknown/not stars. 

Some of it for sure isn't my style. But Usher was so much fun. I enjoyed Dr. Dre and Snoop. Bruno Mars was unforgettable. 

Another friend said he didn't like it. He said "too much "different" culture. We are American and should have one American culture." 

This one set a lot of folks off. Me included. 

What does American Culture mean? What are you expecting? How is a 5 time grammy award winner and pulitzer prize holder not American Culture? 

I was thinking about the recent moves that a certain president has taken to put himself in charge of a major cultural institution, the Kennedy Center, because he doesn't like the "art" coming out of it. There was a drag show! And Children WERE THERE! It's time to usher in a new Golden Age of arts and culture! With our Dear Leader at the helm. 

To me, this move, this tone, this activity smacks of North Korean political censorship of art and culture that the administration does not like. The suppression of what a few people believe is dangerous and subversive, to be replaced with what. Lee Greenwood? Kid Rock? C'mon man. 

Kendrick is American Culture. A side of it you may not jibe with but. He is. Accept that. 

Art doesn't exist to make you feel cozy and comfy. Sometimes Art is something that you don't get, you don't see, you don't understand. 

Doug and I often will look at public art sculptures around DC and other cities. He hates most of them. I can do without most of them. They fill space, and they're gaudy or stupid or ugly. Most of the time I don't go and research hard about what the sculptor was expressing because it is drive by and forgotten before we know it. 

For some, it is meaningful and that's okay for them. 

And for Kendrick, if you didn't get it and don't want to take the time to learn about it, well. That's okay. 

But running around the internet screaming about how "no one cares for this" performance, you do need to know and recognize that MILLIONS of people did care for it. They connected to it. They get it. They understood it. 

And saying that "no one cares" means you and ... well, a lot of white people maybe, don't. And that's not true either.  A lot of white people got it and enjoyed it.

Be curious. Be interested. Listen. Learn. And it is okay not to get it. I sure don't sometimes. For sure. But it isn't mine to get. And that's okay. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  No measurable exercise. 6k+ steps by bedtime (took things very easy today)

blood glucose:

8:30am: 146
4:15pm: 109
10:15pm: 91

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: Phentermine
11am: metformin+glipizide
12:30pm: Leftover buffalo chicken dip & celery; leftover beef & veg from chinese food
4:15pm: Entenmann's chocolate donut; 2 good yogurt mixed berry
5:30pm: Metformin & jardiance (on accident. was supposed to be glipizide but I grabbed the wrong pill). 
6:30pm: fajita. chicken, onion, peppers, refried bean dip, sour cream, shredded cheese. 
Wine & ginger ale
8:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts; glipizide

Walkies

Doug took Toffee for a huge walk today, and I took Dahlia with intentions on a long walk. We went different directions because they do such a shitty job when we go together. 

Dahlia did pretty well with me, she lost her shit when she saw another dog (she's in heat so we're not being social. I had to explain that to a guy and his beautiful grey and white pittie. Male. 

It was windier than I thought, and while I had my winter coat on, it was still a bit on the uncomfortable side. We did a 2 block circle. 

Be proud of me. 

And because I knew Doug would be gone for a long time on his walk, Mr. I Don't Care How Cold It Is Sometimes, I continued to walk inside. 

I paused my fitbit tracking the walk once we got in the door and then walked for another solid 20 minutes. Cranked up the playlist and had Ghost, Guster (Ghoster), Hole, the Killers, Genesis, and the Monkees to keep me company. 

And Dahlia walked with me the whole time. She's a bit confused when I do this, but she goes with. So she got her exercise too. 

This afternoon was D&D, hilarious game. Our DM forced us into doing some character development by having to betray our darkest secrets in order to be given a hint to continue down a dangerous path. So on the spot, I had to create an element of my back story to "confess." I told Matt I really loved that, because we all have these characters we're playing, and we don't know a thing about each other. Except Haven is a half orc who is horny for everyone. She and I are the muscle of the group and right now she is absolutely distracted by one of our NPC characters and trying to get with her. 

I think next break in the action, my character (human/paladin) is going to have a talk with her because she's putting us in danger. 

Oh I love it. So much fun. 

And then the Superb Owl tonight. What a joke this game was. The entire country thought the matchup would be really great and the Eagles just rolled all over KC. All my New England friends on the internets were saying well, 40-0, let's not forget the Pats and Falcons and 28-3, okay? But really things were way far gone beyond 28-3. 

We didn't have a bespoke dinner meal tonight because I made superb owl snacks, and we ate our fill. Well, I did. The boys whipped out some microwave burritos after halftime. 

The dogs had a tremendous amount of playtime today. They get nutty after dinner and took literally every toy out of the box and went bananas. 

We're giving Dahlia a break with the diaper, I think. Doug may put it on her before we get in bed, but she's doing pretty good cleaning herself and she's not leaving a trail or drops or marks anywhere. We may be out of the woods on this stage of the game, maybe. Not sure. 

Anyway. Tired. Good day all around. Digits below.

 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Outdoor+Indoor walk; 12 min w/Dahlia, the rest of it indoors with the Playlist. 32 minutes total/1.46 miles; 8500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 138
4:30pm: 104
10pm: 97

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
noon: metformin+glipizide
2pm: turkey and whipped cream cheese on 647 english muffin
4pm: red wine & diet gingerale
6pm: metformin+glipizide
7pm: buffalo chicken dip and celery; some fritos; 6 pigs in blankets; red wine & diet ginger ale
8:30pm: jardiance

Houdini

Dahlia loves to sneak away from where we are hanging out and slip out of her diaper. She is close to not needing it anymore and it is obvious she is so over this. Stealthy, quick and quiet, she just gets right out of it and walks away. 

We spent a lot of time today re-diapering her butt. 

I hope we're almost done with this. Dr. Google says 7-21 days of this and we're at day 6 or so right now. She's whining, rubbing her ass on the furniture. Girl, my loveseat ain't gonna hump you. 

Not much else to report. Here's a picture of two dogs waiting for Doug. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor walk. 25 min/1.04 miles; 8k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 133
5pm: 138
11pm: 120

food:

coffee/water
8am: Phentermine 
11:30am: Metformin+glipizide
1pm: pb and low sugar jelly on 647 bread
6pm: Metformin+glipizide
6:30pm:piece of french bread pizza; vodka tonic
8pm: ramekin of mixed nuts
8:30pm: jardiance

Jelly School

A long explanation here, but. You need the back story about the title.

There is an episode of South Park (The Hobbit) where Wendy Testaburger gets upset with the other girls on the cheerleading squad at school. One of the girls isn't really pretty, the girls are making fun of her. Wendy encourages her to be more self assured, to ask her crush, Butters, out on a date. Butters rejects her, saying she's fat. He prefers beautiful women, like Kim Kardashian. 

Wendy has a huge problem with this, shows Butters that Kim Kardashian's photos are all photoshopped and that he isn't seeing the real her, he's seeing something fake. Butters is hurt. They end up at Mr. Mackey, school counselor's office, where he gives Wendy a hard time instead of chastising Butters for his attitude. Wendy is shocked.

Mr. Mackey tells Wendy she's just jelly (ie: jealous) of hot girls. Wendy says she is NOT and points out that the pictures of all the girls are photoshopped, and a lie, and false. 

Mackey starts saying "You are jelly. I'm going to send you to Jelly School" and he "calls" the principal of Jelly School to say he's got a girl here who is jelly and needs to go to jelly school. 

A lot more things happen in the episode (ie: Kim Kardashian is actually a Hobbit with hairy Hobbit feet and she smokes a pipe and ... well. Photoshop fixes all those things) but the Jelly School thing is one of our favorites. 

And we've been quoting Mr. Mackey a lot here in the house since Dahlia came. 

Toffee is Jelly. Dahlia is also jelly. They are jelly girls. Jelly of each other. Jell. All day long.

Toffee sees us petting Dahlia, or giving her love and attention and she comes and puts herself right in between us. Dahlia is also jelly if I'm sitting with Toffee on the couch and patting her, she'll come right up and get on top of Toffee to get some loving. 

"Oh, I see you are jelly," we'll say. "I'm calling the Jelly School. Hello, principal of the Jelly School? I have a dog here who is Jelly. That's right. I'm sending her right over."

Toffee is Peanut Butter, Dahlia is Black Currant Jelly. That's what they look like together. Jelly School Jelly School Jelly School. All day long. 

Side note: This is a great episode of South Park. I won't give away the ending, but the whole setup and presentation leads to a really poignant conclusion. Also, the ongoing making fun of Kanye West during the 2013 era is priceless. 

Anyway, go watch it if you can. And just think of us saying Jelly School and threatening to call the principal all day to these dogs. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk. took a break today. 6100+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:15am: 133
5:30pm: 113
9:45pm: 104

food:

coffee/water
7:15am: Phentermine
11:30am: Metformin+Glipizide
11:45am: pb & low sugar j on 647 bread
5:30pm: Metformin+glipizide
6:45pm: bowl of pasta shells w/ sauce, ground beef, ricotta, mozz. Vodka & diet tonic
8:30pm: jardiance

Flex Time

Last night, we had an ice storm come through the area. Not much accumulation but enough to keep me off the roads this morning. I did a "time shift" today, I started work at 10:30 instead of 8:30 because I had to work with a client at 9pm ET. My boss is very serious about work/life balance, and I do have a tendency to put in a lot of hours. But I also have a tendency during the workday to not be super busy by choice. 

I feel like my brain works better after 3pm. I'm able to accomplish a lot more, and get more things done. Sometimes I will pound out 2 or 3 solid work hours after dinner. 

So I time shift all day long most every day. If I was running a timer on myself, 8 hour workday for sure, sometimes more, never less. It just happens all through the day. 

This morning the dogs woke me up a little before 8. Dahlia kept her panties on most of the night. Doug had gone to the guest room around 4, and she didn't notice he was gone until maybe 6am. Her panties came off as she shimmied off the bed, and she went to the guest room but didn't leave marks on the blankets. Perhaps we're winding down on this. 

But a little before 8am, on a day that I am time shifting, I was not too excited about getting up. 

Fed them, outside, new diaper on, back in bed by 8:15! 

We had an epic snuggle time, and I finally got up around 9:45 to do my steps. The dogs were especially playful and rowdy today, and in my 3pm meeting they decided to wrestle, on my couch, next to me. 

Busy work day, and I thought about going to the gym in the afternoon because my 4pm meeting was over very quickly. We needed groceries or something for dinner but I started digging into a spreadsheet and before I knew it, it was 6pm. So we opted for Chinese food. Geoff has tomorrow off, so he said he'll go to the market for us. Score. 

My 9pm meeting got rescheduled to next week, so I still continued to work to make up for the time that I flexed. Got a lot done. As usual. Doug had a documentary series about police in Devon and Cornwall England, and I wasn't really interested in it. He loves to watch these things. I find them repetitive and a little dull, but the scenery is pretty. There was an episode on the Scilly Islands, and I'd never heard of them. Gorgeous. The southwest of England looks like where I'd love to visit. 

Anyway. 

My flex hours morning was a lot of this. And I loved it. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. indoor walk 10 min/.44 miles; 6500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 144
5pm: 104
10pm: 143

food:

coffee/water
9:30am: Phentermine 
10:30am: Metformin+glipizide 
11:45am: bowl of left over chicken soup w/scoop of creamy risotto and broccoli (from the other night). 
5:45pm: Metformin+glipizide 
6:30pm: Chinese food: 3 dumplings, some lo mein, beef and peppers, gen. tso's chicken, spring roll 
8:30pm: jardiance

Day 3 of the Diaper Dog

Dahlia is tolerant of the diaper but we know she greatly dislikes it. Last night, sometime in the night she either took it off or it came off. Doug's blanket took a direct hit (after I literally had just washed it that afternoon). 

He was in the bathroom, which upset her because heaven forbid he not be in bed with her. 

I woke up and saw the diaper on the bed, so I figured I had to get her covered back up. 

Letting the dogs out at 5:15am, that's early and she likes to bark. Thankfully they came right back in but it was Play! Wrasssssle!! Where's BREAKFAST!?! And me chasing her around with a doggie diaper in my hand. 

She sees it coming, and she goes to hide. Bribery with cookies, eventual success. She wanted to be with Doug so he went in the guest room and she went with. And Toffee went with. Then she came back. And Toffee came back. But at some point, I ended up with no dogs and a whole bed to myself. 

I fell back asleep after 6:30, I thought about just going to the gym. Just get up and put on yoga pants, shoes, go. But. Sleep came and it was nice. 

Today was a busy day, Doug had a lot of meetings and the dogs wanted to play and fight while he was in his meetings, and they would not stay up here with me. And I was in a meeting while he wanted me to get them. 

A certifiable circus, I tell ya. 

We're expecting snow and ice tonight, we'll see if this happens or not. It could be a humongous mess. 

I didn't take any pictures today so. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor walk, 15 min/.61 miles; 7500+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:

9am: 124
5pm: 114
10:30pm: 134

food:

coffee/water
9am: Phentermine
10:45: metformin+glipizide
1pm: english muffin w/pb
5:45pm: metformin+glipizide; some white rice w/coconut curry chicken
8:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts; jardiance

Heat

It's always something, innit? I may say our lives are boring, but there is always a thing happening that we're dealing with. Here's the latest.

I let the dogs out last night before bed and noticed blood spots on the floor around Doug's end of the couch and in front of the door. I asked him if he was cut and bleeding. No he was not. I cleaned it up and when the dogs came in went over both of them carefully to see if playtime had resulted in punctures. No. No wounds. Nothing. Bedtime. Let's go. But first. Spray bottle in hand, I cleaned up everything I could see, and we went to bed. 

Doug woke up this morning right before me, and when I came out of the bedroom he let me know what the source of the blood drops was. Dahlia.

"She's in heat."

Of course she is. Fantastic. 

How'd he know? The bed. She slept on his side of the bed last night, and when he got up he saw that there was blood all over his sheets and blankets. So yeah. She's in heat. 

When we took her in two weeks ago for her ear infection, we had no knowledge of her medical history. Doug's coworker got her brother to fill her in, and she updated us. Dahlia had never been to a vet. Ever. She had never ever been vaccinated (so we got her up to speed with that). And she had not been fixed. She's 3 years old so if she's never been spayed, so she's gone through this in his home probably five other times and he hasn't done anything like a responsible dog owner would do.

Coffee in hands, we both set off to Dr. Google for information on this.  

Learning a lot this morning about the process she is going through, as we've never had a dog who has not been altered. As this is most likely the start of her cycle, it could get messy. Even though we knew she wasn't fixed, I didn't really anticipate she'd go into cycle while with us. But of course. She did. Thanks for that, pup. Appreciate it. 

I walked around the house with a spray bottle and towel, cleaning the blood trail off the hardwood floor and checking the couch cushions (nothing there). Thankfully, even the spots that are dry which probably came from yesterday all come up very easily. Not what I wanted to do at 7:45am but. Needed done. 

Doug put a comforter on the couch and both dogs are liking that. Comfy cozy, cuddled together. 

We have no plans to pay for a spay for her. But I am feeling a certain way about this. I said previously that I'm not loving the idea that her former owner does not take care of her medical needs. I was happy to get her vaccinated and medications because while she's with us, I need to be the responsible human. 

At lunchtime, Doug went to the Petsmart to pick up doggie menstruation "panties" as he called them. He bought the large ones but probably should have gotten the XL. This looks like a bikini on her, instead of the granny panties I was envisioning. 

She (and Toffee) both got a nice treat bone, and initial (within the hour) frustration with them seemed to not bother her. She did sit at my feet and whimper for about 20 min. Can't say as I blame her. 

I was in a meeting and she went downstairs by Doug to hang out while he was also in a meeting. She slept on the couch nicely so he wasn't thinking about her.

Around 5pm she came upstairs "naked," having escaped from her panties. I fed them both, let her outside to do her business. Doug went to the market and I redressed her. She is not a fan, and she whimpers slightly but she has kept them on the entire night. I'm proud of her. This must be confusing. 

Our bedding got washed, the blood stains did not come out, but I will try again. I know everything is clean, just not perfect looking. 

She's been asleep all evening. Toffee is very concerned. I tell ya, when Dahlia leaves, Toffee may be very confused. 

Anyway. Pretty good day here over all. A big victory for a client in this project (we've been trying to fix something for months and boom - fixed). Dinner was great. Doug went to the market while I started cooking, and it was very very helpful. I wish you could see my couch right now, where it is all Dog and Doug. This picture will have to suffice. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor walk, 20 min/1.06 miles; 10k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 133
5pm: 139
10:15pm: 95 (checked 3x)

food:

coffee/water
8am: Phentermine 
10:30am: Metformin+glipizide
11am: small bowl of mac & cheese and hamburger
1:15pm: protein shake
5:45pm: vodka diet tonic w/diet cran splash; metformin+glipizide
6:30pm: chicken parm w/sauce, one small piece of rosemary olive oil bread  
8:30pm: jardiance

Sunset Dog Walk

I had two meetings cancel today and really should have taken myself out to the gym between 11am and 2pm. A long lunch. Just go. But I putzed around and time flew. It got to be just before 3 when I had a meeting with clients in Alaska. Adorable when they say "good morning," at 3pm. 

It was a good meeting, and then a second meeting for the big project and that didn't go quite as well as expected. But the client was a good sport. We couldn't get the thing done that we needed to, so I did some extra research and digging but we're no closer.

Doug came upstairs moaning that he should take a dog (Dahlia) for a walk. She's the kind of dog that should be taken for a walk twice a day, not just a big run around the yard several times a day. She likes that, but she needs a walk walk. Toffee can go weeks without a walk, she likes it, but yeah. Her default setting is cuddling. "I should take both dogs on walks, they're impossible to walk together," he says. And I agreed. Even with two humans. It's not easy.

I looked out the window and it was looking very nice. I said "do you want me to come with you?" He was surprised and said yeah. It was 55 degrees, no wind, why not. This is good dog walking weather.

I took Dahlia. She's 72 pounds, and strong as hell, and not well trained. Pulling, yanking, disobedient, and just a challenge. Doug offered to take her from me but to be honest, Toffee is just as bad. They both want to be in front, so Doug had me go first with Dahlia. 

We turned west on one of the streets and the sunset was just spectacular. Absolutely lovely. I was having a hard time enjoying it while trying to deal with the dog, but I got to soak some of it in. 

We did a simple loop, it was a little over a mile and about 25 minutes. Skipped the gym as a result. 

Around 7pm I realized we were out of milk. Geoff usually goes to the gym after dinner but starting tomorrow he is starting a class to get his Associates (yay!) so he's switching up his schedule and going back to morning gym or no gym on class day. Shoot. I was going to have him pick up milk. 

He went out for me after dinner and got milk. Such a mensch. That's when I was digging into the client problem by Googling all the things I could come up with. 

I don't have a meeting until 11am tomorrow but it is an important one. If it is nice out, maybe I'll take just me for a walk, instead of driving up to the gym to the treadmill. 

Felt like the glucose was a little high today compared to yesterday when I had readings in the double digits. But every day is a new day. 

Digits below. No picture today, I thought of trying to take a picture of the sunset but the phone camera just didn't do it justice. Sadly. Happy I went out to see it though. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  outside dog walk, 25 min/1.16 miles. 8500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 160
5pm: 144
10pm: 175

food:

coffee/water
8am: Phentermine
10:15am: metformin+glipizide
10:45am: chunk of pork roast (last wee bit)
11:45pm: english muffin w/pb
1:45pm: bowl of plain greek yogurt w/blueberries & small splash of splenda
6pm: metformin+glipizide
6:30pm: 2 fish filet patties on a roll w/ 1 slice of cheese; a little bit of coleslaw
8pm: ramekin of trail mix (tex mex/spicy, mostly peanuts); jardiance

Babble vs. Playlist

Doug took a nap with the dogs and I figured I'd go to the gym. I had DnD at 3:30, early this week. My sister checked in with me when I got there so we did the facebook video keep Chris interested while on the treadmill thing. She said to me, do you want to babble or listen to your playlist?

I will always choose Linda time over the playlist, even though I was looking forward to some playlist time. No one was in the gym, there was a guy 5 machines down from me who had headphones on and hardly anyone else. No one was in the circuit room, I could have gone through there but I talked to Lin for quite a while and it was 30 minutes before I knew it. I could have kept going but I needed to get home and get showered and ready for DnD. 

We had a blast tonight. Our group has been playing for over a year, and I feel like the past couple sessions we've really hit it off. We really clicked. Geoff made dinner while I was playing so I'm thankful for that. 

I took my glucose reading at the usual time (4:30pm), and it was 84. I don't think it has ever been that low. Um. So is this medication doing amazing things, combined with the exercise and super low carbs. I mean, it seems to be such a quick change. So I had crackers for snack and decided it was okay to drink wine. And eat 9 pierogies with dinner. I googled how low is dangerous blood sugar, and 70 is. So. I .... was rest assured and relaxed. But still a little like ....whoa.

At 10:30 my blood sugar was 96 so it didn't go up a whole hell of a lot. Interested in seeing what the morning brings. This is all new to me. And I'm just as terrified of hypoglycemia as hyper.

Law of averages, we keep this up, I get a lower A1C. 

Anyway. I wish we'd gone to plant swap at the brewery in DC today but. We didn't. That's okay. Maybe next weekend we'll go somewhere. Days are getting longer. I'm noticing it. 5:30 these days. Doug and I started watching Squid Game 2. I thought the first one was interesting, this one has a lot more people stuff happening, a lot of stories, less about the violence (but still a lot). 

What they've done magnificently is there is a transgender character and the marginalization and isolation, the rudeness and horrible treatment is amazing. And the elderly grandmother ... same. Really interesting.

Alright. Ready for the working week. Light meetings tomorrow but one big one with our entire team and the new COO. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. gym treadmill: 37 min/1.68miles; 10k+ by bedtime.

blood glucose:

8:30am: 133
4:30pm: 84 (whuuuuuut)
10:30pm: 96

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: Phentermine
11:15am: pizza cheese (melted from geoff's pizza bagel). Metformin+glipizide 
12:30: more cheese; 1/3 a chicken breast left over from soup prep (was saving it for a salad but ate it outright).
4:45pm: pretzel ritz crackers w/pb, baby bell cheese; 
5:30pm: metformin+glipizide
6pm: 2 pieces of roast pork loin, 9 pierogies
6:45pm: ramekin mixed nuts
white wine+diet cranberry 

Can't bear to put it away

This morning, the dogs patiently "watched their favorite show" while waiting for me to wake up and feed them. I managed to snag this picture, then Dahlia saw me and well. The jig was up. 

Today we didn't do much except that which was necessary. Doug went to target for dog food and other necessities. Geoff took the dogs on walks, separately, one at a time. I watered the plants, did the dishes, did an indoor walk. I contemplated going to the gym while Doug and the dogs napped. But I changed my mind and made dinner instead. 

Dogs had a busy day today. Doug bought a couple cheap but allegedly indestructible toys at target, which were a big hit. One was instantly destroyed (by Toffee). The other is a ball that lights up and squeaks, which is delightful. When they run around with it flashing in their mouths, I love it. 

After the target trip and new ball chaos, I boxed up the angels, put the tree away, took some lights down but not all of them. 

I always put the angels facing out of the little windows in the box. I want them to be able to see.

God, I'm a weirdo.

While I was putting things away I thought of an old colleague who passed away years ago. At her memorial service, someone told the story of how she kept her Christmas tree up one year until March. When someone asked her why it was still up, she said "it's so pretty I just can't bear to put it away." 

So as I put the angels in their boxes, I thought of Sandy. Putting the things away does make me a little sad but ... it's February, Chris. Put the things away. It's okay. It gives you something to look forward to.

Goodbye for now, little angels. See you in November. 

That's about all the excitement here.  

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor walk, 30 min/1.18miles 8500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 160
5pm: 130
10pm: 115

food:

coffee/water
10am: Phentermine
11am: Metformin+glipizide
11:30am: small bowl of mac & cheese w/ a lot of hamburger
5:30pm: Metformin+glipizide
6pm: chicken soup homemade w/tiny potatoes, carrots, roasted chicken, celery, slice of garlic toast
7:30: jardiance

Up Early Dog O'Clock

I went into the guest room last night because I was wide awake at 1:30am, and I wanted to put on a podcast, but Doug was super asleep and. Well. I didn't want to disturb him. Thankful that we have that space. When Doug wakes up I tell him it is okay if he starts a podcast and stays because, well, I'm awake too. 

Neither dog followed me, which is weird, one usually does. I fell asleep pretty quickly, and heard Doug get up a little before 7 and go to the bathroom. Both dogs decided to come find me. When Doug came out, they went to the bedroom with him, but promptly came back to me.

Because he got back in bed and they were READY TO BE UP! 

But. I was not ready. 

I tried to ignore them. They were both standing on the bed looking at me. Toffee gave these soft little plaintive sighs and moans. 

And then I had to pee, too. 

So once I had to pee, well. We're up. They went out, got fed, and.... then they went back to sleep with Doug. Nice. Thanks. I'm up. I contemplated going to the gym but I have never gone in the morning and I don't know how crowded it is? It is probably madness. So I made coffee instead and started doom scrolling on my phone, still not able to process some of the things the Gubbmint is doing these days, and shit that is coming out of people's mouths. 

It got to be 8:00 so I started working. There was a lot to do today, and I got right to it. A lot of meetings. One successful client meeting and another not quite as successful one. These were for the big project, and we are close to being done. So close. 

I thought about going to the gym since I got an unbelievably (for me) early start working, but it is pouring out and meh. I don't want to leave the house. 

Giving myself a break considering I've done indoor walks and ass kicking gym visits this week. 

I finished working after 8:30pm, after cleaning up from dinner. It is no wonder I'm working so late a lot because I am so an evening brained person, but, I also get super distracted during the day. 

Case in point: Earlier, I had a hysterical slack conversation with our new COO after he made a joke in a group channel about a very famous 90s band. He quoted a podcast I like called 60 songs that explain the 90s, so I had to direct message him and talk about the podcast. 

We then had a big discussion about all kinds of 90s bands, and I asked him how he felt about Barenaked Ladies as he's from Toronto. 

It was funny because I mentioned BNL to him and he replied "not me, standing in the line at Customs listening to When I Fall." which is the song Ed made me cry on. 

I looked back on my blog entries from back in the day and how many times I went to see them, with the great write ups of the shows, and how Ed Robertson made me cry for my 44th birthday. 

A freaking million years ago. 

Geoff did go to his gym. I thought about asking him to go buy dog food since we'll run out tomorrow morning, but with the rain I don't want to make him do it. We can do it tomorrow. 

Doug and I were going to meet a couple who used to live across the street from us in Massachusetts. They relocated to Bowie a couple years ago, and the wife is incredibly homesick and sad. But they all came down with the flu, including their high school aged daughter who was having a birthday party on Sunday. Such a drag... rescheduling for next week most likely. 

Here are my dogs. who sat on the bed. Expectantly. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk. 5300+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:30am: 150
4pm: 113
9:45pm: 184

food:

coffee/water
7:30am: Phentermine
10:45am: Metformin+Glipizide 
11:15am: pb&low sugar jelly on 647 wheat
4pm: bowl of plain greek yogurt, with blueberries & splenda
5:30pm: Metformin+Glipizide 
6pm: BBQ pulled pork (from Aldi) some coleslaw, a few waffle fries (high sugar content in the pulled pork)
9:30pm: jardiance

Medz

My doctor added two medications to my current meds list. While I'm not excited about taking MORE medication, I think I'm hopeful to add these. 

Phentermine is a weight loss drug. It's been on the market for longer than I've been alive. I asked her if it was related to Fen-Phen and she said not really - that was a combination drug and Phentermine was part of it. But F-P was discontinued. Phentermine has been around since 1960 or so, and there are two other drugs that we can try if we don't see progress with this. 

She asked for the digits that I keep here - she wants to review. I'm glad I keep the blog, I guess. Even though I get 200 hits a day and zero comments from you people, which makes me think AI is scraping the content to "learn" stuff. Whatever. 

Anyway. If you are reading go ahead and leave a comment. As Aaron Mahnke says "say hi. I like it when people say hi." 

I started it yesterday. She said I should see about 10 pounds of weight loss. Which may make me feel better, knowing there is progress. More progress.

There has been progress. And this isn't a weight loss blog per se (it's a Dog Puke Blog, a Guster Blog, to be honest). But exercising, losing some weight so exercising feels better, makes for more weight loss. And lowers the A1C. 

That is the goal. Getting the digit below 7, my friends. Right?

She also added glipizide, because I asked if the Metformin and Jardiance just weren't hacking it for me anymore. I asked her if I should only take the glipizide and she said no - add it into the routine. So I have to take it a half hour before eating. I've shifted my "schedule" so I'm taking the combo of Metformin+glipizide before lunch and a half hour before dinner. And moving Jardiance to the evening. 

That's the new plan. 

Today was an incredibly busy day. Being in the DC area it was also sad because of last night's plane crash at DCA. I don't have much to say about that but it sucks. And our current government is pointing at possible causes that have nothing to do with what happened, and it is just outrageous. That's. That's about it. 

Good news is Miss Toffee is on the mend. What we think happened is she ate some leaves in the yard, probably azaleas, and these are toxic to dogs. She checked every box on the symptoms list. I woke up this morning after sleeping with her, she didn't get sick all night. Relief. She drank a lot of water but I took the bowl up so she wouldn't over drink. She turned her nose up at breakfast but by noon she was stalking the bowl and the kitchen, so I fed her half a cup of kibbies. 

She had a slice of cheese when I gave Dahlia her meds, she enjoyed cookies after going out to the yard, and she ate dinner. They played together, and it feels like everything is right as rain.

Celebration! 

No picture today, digits below, glucose is .... notable! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor walk, 15 min/.7 miles. took it easy today, 7500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 160
5pm: 124
11pm: 102 (!!)

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: phentermine 
10:45am: metformin+glipizide
12:30: turkey and havarti w/mayo on 647 wheat bread
5:45pm: metformin+glipizide
6:15pm: 6 homemade meatballs w/ sauce, shredded mozzarella 
7:45pm: jardiance

It's Smelly Up In Here

It's been a really rough 24 hours over here. 

Dahlia is doing so much better, and is so tolerant of her medication and me sticking it in her ear. I could not be more pleased with how that's going. 

Which of course means Toffee has to get sick. 

I mentioned yesterday she'd thrown up a bunch, starting on Monday night when she threw up in bed with Doug, and then a few times yesterday. She hasn't wanted to eat, she's thirsty as fuck.

Which.

Of course.

Of course means, she threw up at 3am in bed with me (note: I'd washed the sheets and comforter from the guest room yesterday after her Monday Night extravaganza), and it was all water.

All Water. 

I had gone into the guest room last night around 1am, since both dogs were on my side of the bed, and it was a little hot and crowded. Toffee eventually followed me and hopped up. I was happy to have her because I was fully worried about her. Dahlia came to see what was up but figured "score! I get that whole side of the bed to myself!" And she left.

Toffee just sat up for a long time, looking out the window like she was stoned as fuck and the neighbor house's driveway light was like, wow. This instead of being snuggled into my ass crack. Just ... looking out the window. She was falling asleep sitting up, rather cute. And I tried to encourage her to get horizontal. And she did finally lay down. 

I was lightly sleeping, listening for her. She makes this weird licking sound before she pukes, licking the inside of her mouth, so I was listening for that. It felt like we were in a good spot, no weird noises, and sleeping. I drifted off. When the noises started I jumped out of bed to grab her to get her to jump off the bed too, and go outside and. 

God. 

Everywhere. Water everywhere. She jumped down, got to the hallway, did it again. 

Dahlia came out of our room to investigate. Concerned but not helpful. I put them both outside, in a slight panic because water is grosser than solid food, to be honest. It was a lot to clean up. 

The bed was absolutely soaked, so I just stripped it down to the mattress cover. That was also soaked but, it doesn't soak through (thank God for mattress covers, why didn't I know how amazing these are so many years ago???) so I just left it there until this morning. I closed the bedroom door and walked away.

I slipped on my winter boots and put on my knee length winter coat. I didn't have yoga or pyjama pants on, so I'm out there in my underpants with the bottom two snaps done to hide me from the neighbors, God, and all the angels. 

I wanted to go out and get them and just didn't have time to find my dorm pants. Dahlia was barking and the last thing I want is this nincompoop waking up my neighbors at 4am. 

She came in quickly and willingly. Toffee was just standing in the yard, staring into the middle distance just like when she was on the guest bed. She didn't want to come in. She looked like I was going to beat her, she was scared, tail between her legs. I encouraged. I pleaded. I got the leash and looped it around her neck. Dahlia thought it was time to go for a walk when she saw that, so she ran around joyfully. 

Sorry honey. 4am is not the time to go for a walk in my underpants.

Eventually, Dahlia settled back into the bedroom but on my entire side of the bed. I went to the living room, to the couch. Toffee stood on all fours next to me, just... staring. 

Jesus, I've never seen a dog be sick like this? What the hell did she get herself into? What did she catch? What did she eat?

I slept on the couch, rather comfortably, with my hand on her back. After falling asleep standing up, she got up on the couch behind my legs and we both successfully went to sleep. The alarm came too early at 8am. 

This morning, she didn't want to eat, which is okay. I didn't really want her to eat either. I tried a 1/2 cup of dog food for her and she stood there and looked at it. She drank a little water but I stopped her from getting too much. 

Little did I know, Geoff had no idea this was going on and he filled the dish all the way when he came up for coffee, and I was in the bathroom.

Shit. She drank her fill, because of course she did. She feels horrible and I'm sure she's incredibly dehydrated.

At about 10:30am, I was getting the laundry from the guest room, it is so smelly. SO SMELLY! I was cringing and groaning the whole time. 

I heard a crack sound and then spewing. Just absolutely the worst noise. Splash. And again. Splash. Doug yelled "Oh No." and I threw the laundry on the floor to come around the back of the couch, where Toffee was standing in her kennel, thankfully, so most of the mess went onto the kennel dog bed. Some on the floor, I yoinked up a couple canvas bags I had on the floor back there with beading stuff (gotta get back on my bullshit). I found a small canvas bag with two books in it that I thought I left on an airplane last year. Yay! I can go back to reading that one book I wanted to finish. 

Doug took the dogs outside, and took the plastic floor of the kennel outside to wash it. So convenient that it can just be slid out. I gathered up the bedding, the dog bed, the sweatshirt that had fallen between the kennel and the couch, got everything downstairs. Cleaned the floor. 

All day today she's been by my side, scrunched up on the couch, just laying here with her eyes open. She's not sleeping, she just is. 

Doug reminded me that she did this once before, where she got "sick as a dog" as it were, but it was over in 24 hours. This is going on for some time now. If she has not rebounded by tomorrow I'm calling an audible, we're going to the vet. 

This is one way to jumpstart some house cleaning. But it is not one I recommend. Between little miss stinky ear and little miss pukey pants, my house does not smell good right now. sigh.

That was a lot of gross information. I will say tomorrow I'll write about new medication the doctor put me on. If you look at the digits, they're interesting. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor walk, 26 min/1.16 mile walk; 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:15am: 144
5pm: 114 (!!!)
10pm: 150

food:

coffee/water
noon: metformin, glipizide, phentermine (phentermine is supposed to be first thing in the morning, glipizied 1/2 hour before a meal 2x a day. This will change my medication schedule).
1pm: PBJ, low sugar strawberry jelly on 647 wheat bread
6:30pm: metformin, glipizide; small bowl of mac & cheese
8pm: jardiance

Doctors Day

We started today early with a doctor's appointment follow up for Dahlia. She's doing well, ear infection is healing great and a big hotspot that suddenly appeared is kind of dried up but scabby. She goes crazy scratching it and opens it up a bit so it gets bloody and weepy again. They shaved her neck to get all her super thick crazy fur out of the way, and we got it all exposed so we can heal it up. So we've got antibiotics and lotion. It should be gone in a few days. She's in great spirits and much better than last week. 

Toffee was puking a lot today, which is very unexpected. She threw up in the bed with Doug last night, and then horked three times after breakfast. 

She's been acting scared and skittish, I'm not sure what she got herself into or she caught. Tonight she has been curled up next to me shivering and shaking. 

She continues this way, we'll go to the vet in the morning. 

Dahlia is confused because she wants to roughhouse and play, and Toffee is not having any of that. My poor bean. Look at her, she's so pretty and I love her.

Then this afternoon, it was my turn. I had a doctor's appointment. With the A1C not going down, even though I feel like I'm doing very well with carbs and food, and exercise increasing, I expected a lecture from my doctor. 

She wasn't scoldy or lecturey about anything, which was a relief. She did note that since she's been seeing me I've gone from 220, to 208, to 202 (today) and she's pleased with the efforts I'm making. She heard my questions about whether or not the efficacy of the meds I'm on right now just aren't there. She said that she'd add another medication to add to the mix, and in 3 months we'll recheck the levels. She anticipates better results and possibly some weight loss too. I'm all for it.

Even if I'm mad and discouraged, she's optimistic. And that made me feel better. 

I had my PT/INR checked and I love the girls in the lab, they are hilarious. 

I was going to go to the gym right after but there was kind of an emergency thing happening at work, so I headed straight home. 

After dinner, because I didn't yesterday and I didn't after the doctor, I went to the gym. 

Linda and I had made this monster playlist to keep me entertained. I put it on shuffle, and had at it with great glee. Hole's "Violet" followed by Morris Day and the Time's "Jungle Love" cracked me up. "Square Hammer" by Ghost into The Decemberists "This is why we fight," ... simply excellent. I had to skip  Peter Gabriel and Cindy Lauper songs because they were too slow for my pace but that was okay. Great stuff to listen to. 

And after a half hour, I was done. Boom. 

The gym was packed at 7:15pm, and I had to bide my time waiting for a treadmill when I got there. And because I had people right next to me, I couldn't swing my arms around and air drum like I enjoy doing.  

I guess that is not the best time to go, eh? 

Well, all told that's the day here. Digits below, and a strange sight in traffic today.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   Gym, treadmill with new fun playlist. 30 min/1.35 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 167
4:30pm: 155
10:30pm: 144

food:

coffee/water
11am: english muffin w/pb
12:15pm: metformin
6pm: risotto, broccoli, chicken 
7pm: metformin+jardiance

Deliciousness of Cookies

Today, I was bored with food and did not want anything. But there are these two giant bags of christmas cookies on my dining room table. so. I ate about 6 of them. Big and small, all shapes. Delicious. 

I thought for sure my blood sugar would be well over 400, but it was nice and reasonable. 

After dinner I was going to go to the gym and try out my new playlist, but, Doug put on a really interesting documentary about two British journalists who's families are from India and Pakistan, about the Partition, and how their families have dealt with this. They both go visit where their families are from, and it is really well done. 

And then it was 10pm. 

Giving myself kind of a break today, I guess. 

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, and so does Dahlia. I took part of the day off to take care of both. Responsible human that I am. 

Here are two dogs enjoying the love seat where I usually sit and work. And getting along wonderfully. Digits, below!

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  No exercise recorded. 6k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 166
4:30pm: 169
10:30pm: 156

food:

coffee/water
noon: several christmas cookies (so many); metformin; english muffin w/tuna salad
3pm: protein shake
6:30pm: chicken cordon bleu, green beans
7pm: metformin+jardiance

Superb Owl

As you know, dear reader, I do enjoy football. All of my favorite teams were eliminated this year. The Patriots have been hopeless for a while yet. Steelers made it the furthest but ... well. Their end of season was less than stellar. So the playoffs today were Philly v. Washington, and KC vs. Buffalo. 

Gotta be honest, it's nice to not have a horse in the race and just watch for watching's sake. 

The matchup I was hoping to see was Buffalo and Washington.  

I like the Bills. I've felt super bad for them for so long. As a Red Sox fan, I know the joy of seeing the team FINALLY win. Finally. My mom will fight with people telling them that the Bills are "New York's Only Football Team," because the other two (Jets & Giants) play in New Jersey. So she'll fight you about it. She will. 

My heart was broken (as the hearts of anyone who saw it happen) when Damar Hamlin had his cardiac event on the field in 2023 against the Cincinnati Bengals. I'm so glad to see him playing, and the work he's doing on and off the field. I also was so proud of the Bengals fans for being so loving after it happened, and stepping up for him. 

I'm also happy for the Commanders this year because their shitty owner is gone, they got a new one, new management, a great Rookie quarterback. They're the local team, and everyone is hyped up. So it is cute to live here. I'm also happy they're not the Redskins anymore. And I'm very happy folks have stopped doing the tomahawk chop and indian war chants at the games. 

But both of these teams lost. We get the team who has fans who dress up like Native Americans, and I'm sick to death of the team and the girlfriend. And the other team's fans are actually worse, if you can believe it. They threw hoagies and snowballs at a guy playing Santa (it's true), and what some call a "rite of passage," they enjoy punching police horses (and policemen). Not super excited about that team, and, as a Steelers fan, well. No.

The Chiefs are on the quest for a "three-peat" and no other team in the NFL has done that, at least, I don't think so. Part of me thinks yeah, good luck and go get it. And another part of me longs for the fall. 

Sports is like that, innit? 

I'll still watch the superb owl though. I'll just be in it for the snacks.

Doug took Dahlia for a walk this afternoon. He came back and got Toffee to take her for a walk, too, I can't go with because it turns into a mess. They do not do well, both want to be with Doug, and my shoulder gets pulled out of the socket basically because they both pull so hard. And Doug is so much faster and ahead of me. So I opted for home duties. 

I roasted some chicken breasts to go into a soup Geoff has been planning and bought all the ingredients for. I threw that all together, and it was delicious. I ate too much bread but it was so good. Soup and bread is like that sometimes.

The only other thing is Linda and I built a spotify playlist for my gym visits. 2 hours of music, I won't get bored of it but I bet I'll skip over some songs. Linda contributed a lot of stuff I didn't know so we'll see if I enjoy it. 

Digits below this picture I forgot to share from the sushi restaurant. Semi-obsessed with these floating fish.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  mid-day indoor walk, easy pace (doing chores while doing walk) 15 min/.65  miles; 6200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45am: 156
4pm: 143
10pm: 195

food:

coffee/water
11am: english muffin w/pb
noon: Metformin
4pm: pita crackers+hummus, 1 beer
6:30pm: soup, tomato base w/ chicken, peppers, onions, queso fresco; a couple pieces of warmed "farmhouse" bread from Lidl. 
7:15pm: metformin+jardiance

Saturday Sort Of Quietness

Dahlia woke me up with her barking, Doug was playing with her and she just wouldn't shut up. I was irritated from the get go. 

Eventually she stopped, and she settled in to snuggle with Doug and Toffee snuggled with me. Doug and I played games on our phones and just sat quietly together. 

She's a lovely doggo when she's not being annoying. If she was staying with us for good, it would be time for professional training because I would not be able to deal with her mouth. She's exhausting me with that.

There was a lot of good playtime too. She fetches and gives things back so you can throw them again. I absolutely love playing with her. 

Doug went to take a nap at about 2:30 so I went to the gym. Chatted with my sister for almost an hour while I walked the treadmill for 25 min, then the market for some things, gas in the car. When I got home I started dinner and realized that when Geoff works weekends, he's off at 5:30 and not 5, so I set everything aside to wait for him to get home. 

There wasn't much going on today so the gym is the most exciting thing. I started a spotify playlist to build songs to keep me entertained while on the treadmill, I have to figure out how to add Linda as a contributor. The instructions on the web lie. And I don't want to watch a video on how to do it. 

Makes me shake my fist at technology in anger. Anyway. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Gym/Treadmill; 40 min, 1.34 miles (additional: some of that was walking in the market, forgot to end the fitbit workout); 8500+ steps by bedtime (just didn't feel like pushing it to 10k before bed)

blood glucose:

8:30am: 184
4:45pm: 145
10pm: 164

food:

coffee/water
11am: last of the banana muffins; metformin
1pm: english muffin w/pb
6:30pm; Nachos. Chips w/meat, guac, queso, cheddar, refried beans
7pm: metformin+jardiance
white wine 

Spark and Burst

I've felt like a slug lately, most notably on work. Before the holiday I was pounding out communications and making meetings. The holidays hit, and now that we're on the other side of things into the new year I feel like I have no motivation to finish this project. My personal goal was to have this done by the end of January but I'll be lucky, at this pace, if we're done by the end of February. I need to get a spark and a burst to complete the task. 

But it is so on brand for me. Let's paint a room! Get the room painted in no time, drag feet on the trim. It is like I'm a really bad finish carpenter. I am good at the big bulk, but need someone to come in and do the spit and polish on the thing. 

Today I managed to email everyone who is still left to take care of on the project. I have a spreadsheet of customers to cross check for whether or not we need to do the transition that is needed done. Some already did it on their own long ago. 

It was a good and full work day. With a little spark and burst.

I checked out a little early, I needed to get more meds for Dahlia's ear. The bottle we got from the appointment the other day basically ran out, and I want to keep her on a healing track. She's got a mess on her neck that is gross and nasty, I thought it was run off from her ear but no. I soaked it in hydrogen peroxide tonight, and she is so tolerant of me poking and prodding. I am going to ask the vet if we can shave that spot, so I can actually ged medicine to the grossness. Our followup appointment is Tuesday morning. 

After the vet, I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill. I forgot my headphones, but was able to get some song choices on the speakers. Plus there was someone there who was picking the Who and Wu Tang, so it was all good. 

I even jogged a little bit. No lie, kids. I jogged. I started to get a sharp pain in my right hip, so I stopped and paced, then tried again. Gotta keep an eye on that. Or a feeling of pain, I guess. 

I was going to swing into the market after the gym. Geoff wants to make a soup, he's working this weekend and needs queso fresco for this recipe, and they sell it at Lidl. He couldn't find it at Giant. But the lines at Lidl were stupid and I wanted to get home to make dinner for tonight and keep working on some things. I will pledge to myself to go tomorrow to get what he needs. 

Digits below this picture of what my workday looked like when Dahlia was not barking in my FACE. Ignore the clutter and mess. Every day it gets tidied up. To no avail.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Gym/Treadmill 24 min/1.17 miles. 10,100+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 178
5pm: 150
10:30pm: 156

food:

coffee/water
11am: Turkey & Cheese quesadilla (2 small low-carb burrito wraps, grilled w/ shredded cheddar and sliced turkey). Metformin
6:30pm: cheese steak meat w/ american cheese and mushrooms. Pile of mixed greens for a salad, all mixed together.
7pm: metformin+jardiance
white wine (wasn't gonna but...) 

Choo Choo here comes the sushi train!

Today's Doug's birthday. It's a no fun time of year to have a birthday, this. For years, it would either blizzard on his birthday or it would be flu season at our house. I recall one year, maybe right after Geoff was born, him spending the entire birthday on the floor in the bathroom, hugging the toilet. 

It happens, January. 

Doug picked a sushi restaurant in Rockville where they have a continuous conveyor belt of food coming your way, and you can order menu items that come to you on a little train car. There is a robot that brings other food from the kitchen. It got mad because the chair next to me was not in the right spot and it detected it, and couldn't get through.

It was kind of funny. 

Our waiter was from Columbia, he's been in the US for 4 years, lived in Miami, met a girl, she needed to move to DC so he came with. He was darling. I asked him if he had to learn any Japanese to work at the restaurant and he said yes, to work with the chefs. But he is enjoying it, and has been here for two months.

We apologized for the weather. 

All told it was a great fun night. Blood sugar is a little high because I should have taken my pills with me, but, all told with the rice and the ice cream blobs, I'm not surprised. It'll come down overnight. Thanks, medicine.

Digits below. I didn't take a photo of the choo choo train but caught a little video. I'll try to figure out how to embed it, but, here's a link. I hope it works for folks I'm not friends with? Leave a comment if it does or does not! 

I'm super obsessed with the chopstick rests. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  indoor walk/run in place. 15 min/.8 miles (pretty good pace!); 7100+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 160
4:30pm: 136
10pm: 240 (see med time)

food:

coffee/water
11:30: BLT Salad (bacon, mixed greens, spinach, tomato, mayo)
noon: metformin
2:15pm: protein shake, celery w/pb
6:30pm: Sushi! mostly rolls w/rice and harmless things that don't freak me out. Miso Soup, 6 gyoza, some seaweed salad, 3 beers, 3 interesting little ice cream "balls"
8:45pm: metformin+jardiance

Damp January

Dahlia's ear is doing much better. She's so tolerant of me washing her ear and cleaning it up, and washing her neck because shit is oozing out of her ear. Twice a day. She does see me coming with the bowl and the wash cloth, so she runs to Doug who lovingly welcomes her into his protection, and consoles her while I do my thing. 

Today I was going to go to the gym but made dinner instead. 

I also wanted to note that the last 2 weeks I've been drinking a lot less. Realizing that I have no reason to have wine or a cocktail, I've semi-eliminated alcohol during the week. I went 7 days I think without having any. Saturday I went to see Tim play at a brewery. Sunday was DnD so it was wine. Monday was a no-work day, and I had wine. Aside from those 3 days in the last 2 weeks, it's been pretty steady to not have any alcohol.

A lot of people do "Dry January" when they don't drink at all. I've never done that, but this is the first stretch of time I've gone more than 2 days without something. 

Not bragging or anything, but wanted to just note it. Also hoping maybe possibly it helps with the A1C next time I get tested. Maybe.

Tomorrow's Doug's birthday so I'll probably have something when we go out. A little something. Maybe. 

That's about it. super boring. Just a lot of work. A lot. 

No picture, digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no gym. 5k by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 190
5pm: 154
10pm: 190

food:

coffee/water
11am: metformin. Apple w/pb
12:30pm: english muffin w/pb
6pm: small bowl of linguine w/meat sauce
7pm: Metformin+jardiance
8:30pm: sliced cheese, pepperoni, green olives

The Trooper Dog

Dahlia got to go to my vet today. When we woke up, she was shaking her head and goo was flying around the living room, and it was smelly. Basically, no. Not going to let this ride or work its way out. Nope.

They were able to get us in at 10am, I was shocked. I had just gotten email from my 10am meeting, asking to reschedule. They're in Atlanta and well, snow there is not a good thing and everything was closed down. We'll meet next week.

At the Vet's office, I explained her situation to them, my vet asked if we were fostering through an agency. I said no - it's more like we found a baby on the side of the street and took it in. That's kind of the level we're at. And we know nothing about the baby only it's a baby. She got it.

She weighs 72 pounds, which is a lot more than I thought she would. 

Doug's coworker was traveling yesterday when I texted her to ask if Dahlia had a vet, medical records, any medication she's on, anything. She's 3 so is there a history of ear infections? Is she spayed? What's her deal. She texted me back today, after the appointment, that she had spoken with her brother. Dahlia has never been to the vet. Ever. 

Not fixed, no vaccinations, nothing. Whelp. And she is not fixed either. Good to know. She told me that she read her brother the riot act, and she asked me to track what I'm spending. 

So, because I'm a good person, not only did we get the medicine for her ear (and the infection is starting in the other ear too) I got her vaccinated for a bunch of things, did bloodwork to test for heartworm, got a mousse for a rash she has on her back at the base of her tail. We did the full work up. $500 plus bucks but I'm assured this is the base level of care a kept dog should have. 

My vet and her staff were madly in love with Dahlia. Absolutely full of admiration and adoration. And she really loved them. I was happy we were there.

We got home and I washed her ear with antibacterial soap, and we put the medication in her ear. There was no fussing, no arguing, no trying to get away. A couple peeps and squeaks, I'm sure this is unpleasant for her but what a trooper she is. 

Because she's obviously not feeling well, she's not barking a lot, or going at it with Toffee. And Toffee is quite alright with this. She's concerned, and sniffing Dahl's ear and head. 

When I did the meds for her tonight Toffee was right there to supervise. It was darling.

Had a rather busy day overall even with the 10am meeting cancelation. There were other meetings and project work. And I was supposed to send some emails that I forgot to do (oops) but can tackle in the morning. 

Not bad for a Monday on a Tuesday. 

Digits below a sad dog at the vet (they're having new floors put in, hence the cardboard she's on...)

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  No walk/gym today. 5k by bedtime 

blood glucose:

9am: 146
4:45pm: 176
10:15pm: 219 (see medication time)

food:

coffee/water
noon: pb&low sugar j on 647 bread; metformin
3pm: protein shake
6:30pm: stromboli, piece of chicken parm, mixed greens, tomato, red onion w/bleu cheese dressing
9:45pm: metformin+jardiance (wanted to take closer to bedtime instead of with dinner)

Doggo Therapy

A friend of mine who lives up in Baltimore came to visit today. We've been talking about her coming to meet Toffee for ... a year. Since we got her. When we ran into her on Saturday I brought it back up and she said she was free today. 

So were we. 

She came to visit and we had a blast. She loves dogs, and her old doggo boy passed away a year or so ago so she's been jonesing for some doggie time. 

She's especially interested in possibly adopting Dahlia, if that is an option. They got along wonderfully, and because she is not a stranger to us, well, playtime with Toffee can be a thing. We can make it happen. 

I think our time together brought joy to her heart. She lost her job last year right after buying a house, she's hurting and struggling. She has a very specific job/career and she's really not sure what to do next. 

Dogs fix that. 

Yesterday I noticed Dahlia's left ear was kinda gross. I thought it was bleeding, like Toffee bit her or something during the play fighting they do ... but it wasn't blood. It was oooooooze and gross. Coming right out of her ear. She has been shaking her head a lot, and I thought it was nothing. She didn't start doing it until Sunday so she's been here a few days and didn't come with it. 

Hmmmm. 

We wiped it down with some hot water and then later in the day Doug took her into the bathroom and used hydrogen peroxide to clean it up better. The last hot spot experience we had was with Kinger, way back in the day, when he ad one under his collar under his chin, and it was the worst. 

I texted Doug's co-worker to ask if she had a history of this or if she had a vet with medical records we could get. She said her brother didn't take her to the vet regularly. 

So, you mean, like, she's not up to date on rabies or other mandatory shots?

(note: I didn't ask this when we got her, and well, maybe I should have but. I was not thinking we'd need to get her some vet treatment). 

She told me to go ahead and take her to the vet if I thought it was a good idea. She was on her way to Florida and driving. 

Oh okay. 

So we cleaned her ear again tonight, and tomorrow morning we'll do it again. It is starting to get smelly so I'm going to call the vet first thing and see if we can bring her in. If not tomorrow, maybe Wednesday.  

I will say, she's so sweet. So gentle and not fighting with us. She is allowing us to rub and pour warm water onto her skin and a little hydrogen peroxide there to help with the infection. The poor thing. She really is lovely.

I know the guy had a stroke, but, you should have a vet and vaccines if you're going to have a dog. That's all. Minimum amount of effort. 

I did go to the gym today while The Pack (doug and 2 dogs) napped. I didn't walk as long as yesterday but, I went. My sister talked to me on the phone and kept me going when I wanted to give up. Just listening to her babble helps the time pass. 

There's a guy I see at the gym a lot, he's probably in his late 20, black, great hair, and he runs on the treadmill. RUNS. He set up next to me and before he kicked in I patted him on the shoulder and said "you go and GET IT!" I said I was impressed with watching him run a couple times this week and he laughed. 

"If I tried to run on these things I would fall down. Fall Right the hell down." 

Seriously, impressive.

Final thought,  I'm annoyed as heck that I have to work tomorrow. It is a busy day lined up, I'd like to skip my 4pm meeting but don't think I can. Garumph Harumph Meh.

Here are some happy pictures. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 9am by a minute. Gym: 25 minutes/1.14 miles. 8k steps by bedtime (couldn't push myself like last night to get to 10).

blood glucose:

10am: 146
5pm: 178
10:30pm: 188

food:

coffee/water
noon: metformin, english muffin w/pb
3pm: slab of banana bread
7pm: piece of chicken parm
8pm: banana muffin
8:30pm: metformin+jardiance
white wine (wasn't gonna drink today but. ya know).

On the Putting on of Hard Pants

Saturday night's entry didn't get published so here's the combo for Sat/Sun

Saturday:
During the pandemic, I celebrated Operation Yoga Pants daily. I didn't put on jeans or slacks or any kind of non-yoga related items for MONTHS. I sometimes wore shorts, or sweatpants, if the two pairs of yoga pants I owned were in the laundry. These are "soft pants." 

I heard someone refer to jeans/slacks as "hard pants" and that made me laugh.  The internet is full of good definitions of hard pants vs. soft pants. This link is from before the pandemic, so the terminology was out in the wild doing its thing. 

Hard pants don't necessarily mean you're doing hard work in said pants, and these are you clothing needs. It's more like,,, not pyjamas. Anything not soft and cozy, comfy and stretchy. 

I even have soft pants that are dress pants, from Betabrand, and I do love them. They're very butt flattering, and look good with boots. But I know in my heart, they're the same material as my yoga pants! 

My office is not a super dress up place, but when you go in, sometimes there are humans that frown upon you for wearing jeans. Or Guster T-shirts. Your girl does not care. 

Clothing may make the man, but, it doesn't matter in how I do my job better. I kick ass when I'm most comfortable. Everyone should work comfortably. 

Since the pandemic, my office has not required us to return to our physical office building. We're all set working from home. We get shit done. We do great work. No matter where we are sitting. No matter what we wear.

Sometimes on the weekends, Doug and I go do things and I gotta put on jeans to go out into the world. So I do. Begrudgingly. And it's okay. I survive wearing hard pants. 

This weekend we had no plans. We had no plans. No going anywhere hard pants are required. I did go to the gym, in the same yoga pants I've been wearing for days. To be honest, I looked just fine, if not better than some of the folks out there lifting weights and doing stuff. 

My friend Tim texted me while I was at the gym, and asked if I was planning on coming to see him play out tonight. To be honest, I had completely forgotten about the gig. 

Sometimes I'm like "hell yes I'm so going to that," when things are announced, and then I get to the date and I'm like "oh man, I so do not want to do the thing."

In this case, I completely blanked on its existence. 

I asked Doug if he wanted to go and he looked at me like I had 3 heads. 

Football playoffs. No. I get it. 

Doug's all soft pants this weekend. I texted my friend S to ask if she was interested and she was all in. 

"You're motivating me to put pants on," she said.

"I hope they are hard pants," I said. 

So I put on my hard pants, after showering, of course. And we went. In the car we talked about other people we probably should have invited. At least 3 or 4 friends in the Baltimore area who could have come down to hang. I was happy we got us together to go. It is sometimes no simple feat. While we were sitting there with our phones trying to access the online ordering system and losing (stupid QC codes and shit) one of the friends we talked about walked in. 

She came solo, just to see our friend Tim play. She didn't want to but she made herself leave the house and go. She's going through a super rough time. Just bought her first house and then immediately got laid off. She has applied for over 100 jobs and is getting nowhere. She has had to borrow money from her family to keep from slipping on the mortgage. She's frustrated and sad. 

Leaving the house is hard. 

So there we were sitting. And she walks in. And it was a holy shit you've got to be kidding me moment. I apologized to her because I had wanted to invite her but didn't know if she'd be up to coming. 

She absolutely understood it, and said she probably would have said no if I reached out. But. She got her own motivation on to get herself out the door and ... kismet, as they say. 

It was so much fun. Tim is so good, and the other acts were good too. I could hear severe Wilco/Uncle Tupelo influences coming out of one of them. We had a blast. 

S posted to facebook last night a little pondering about "Say Yes." When someone reaches out, asks you to do a thing, try and say yes. There will be times where you will not want to do a thing, but. Do it. Get on your hard pants and go. 

Everyone laughed at the hard pants part, which made me smile. We've all pledged to try and do just that. 

You never know how much fun you may have. 

I got home (thankful for S&S for driving) and even though I only had 3 beers I felt like I was trashed. Maybe the lack of food, 6 buffalo wings just ain't gonna do it, I guess. I fell just short of 10k steps because I opted to slip into bed before 11. Was feeling dizzy and rather intoxicated so. Best to not stumble around the house for 300 more steps. 

Sunday:
For sure this is a soft pants day, friends. 

We're supposed to get anywhere from 1-9 inches of snow, depending on where the storm hits most. I think up county for us will get the most. If we get 1 inch, it'll be pretty and cover up all the fleh out there from the last storm. 

Bigger than that, it is supposed to get super cold here. In the DC area, they don't do well with snow, 'tis true. But cold is even worse. We were on a water use restriction a week or so ago because of so many water main breaks all over the region. And it'll probably happen again. 

I'm going to make french onion soup for dinner tonight, and I realized we don't have much else for say Monday or Tuesday so I may end up at the market for some things. 

This morning we all slept past 9 am. A rarity. Doug had gone into the guest room and both dogs went with him, which was nice for me because I had my whole side of the bed to myself, and as I felt super drunk and headachey when I went to bed, I was happy to not be encroached upon. Dahlia does a good job of staying down by my feet, Toffee gets right in my ass crack. And when both of them choose to be on my side of the bed, well, there's not a lot of room for my fat ass. 

I woke up with no appetite, no desire to eat. Usually I wake up and have a little coffee and then a late breakfast, y'all see what I eat. But today the concept of making something, or mixing up yogurt, or whatever, I was not interested. 

There was a snowstorm headed our way so at about 1:30, I went to the gym. Found a fun 90s workout mix to listen to, with Sir Mix A Lot, and Digital Underground. Fast pace, fun stuff. Old School, I think the kids would say.

It was getting stormier so I ran into Lidl for stuff for Monday and Tuesday dinner. Just in case we can't get out of the house again. The storm was a nothingburger - we got less than an inch of snow. But that's alright, we're just going to be experiencing some of the coldest temps this region has seen in forever. 

Digits below this pic of me and my Saturday night Hard Pants friends.

Saturday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Gym. Treadmill - 34 minutes, 1.34 miles. Got bored. 9700+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 177
5pm: 128
10:30pm: 210

food:

coffee/water
11:30am: metformin; cinnamon raisin english muffin, w/pb
2pm: protein shake
during the evening: 7pm: metformin+jardiance, 3 beers, 6 buffalo wings
10pm: bowl of chili 

Sunday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Gym treadmill, 34 minutes/1.36 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 185
5pm: 177
10pm: 152

food:

coffee/water
(forgot lunchtime metformin. Oops)
3pm: protein shake
6:30pm: 2 bowls of french onion soup, one with large garlic toast and one without. 
7:30pm: metformin+jardiance
11pm: metformin (from lunch)
bottle of vinho verde