It's an Abomination! CCC 25 round up

Saturday morning came early. There were things that needed to be done that I'd procrastinated on like, oh, vacuuming? You know my struggles with this. 

I managed to get everything done that I needed to get done. Almost. The original plan was for everyone to be here at my house by 2. H and R managed to get here in time but SSH were running late. 

While the 2 girls were on their way here, Doug wanted to get poinsettias for our Christmas decorations, and offered to pick up some things I needed like m&ms for instance. He asked if I needed anything else, I gave him a small list and said "and if you see anything fun, feel free to get it."

"What kind of fun?" he asked standing there holding the shopping list and making kind of a curmudgeonly face.

"Oh you know, fun decorating shit and ideas. You know what fun is. You know how to have fun."

"No, I do not." 

He does though. He really does. 

In the morning he brought in a table from the car port for me to set our tree up on (with Geoff's help) and when he went to the store he brought back a ton of great stuff. One thing he got was shaved coconut, which we've never used on the cookies and it came in so handy. He brought back wine and kahlua and sodas and snack foods. Cheese and pepperoni for protein in between wee cookies and licking sugar off my fingers. 

I had told him I didn't feel like I had enough brushes and spready things for putting the icing on the cookies, so he found a sweet little set of tools that were beyond perfect for the task. 

R and H helped me cover the dining table with brown paper bags, Doug laughed a little like ... you don't need to protect the table. But the paper isn't for protecting the table - it is for ease of cleanup after the fact. 

This gets messy.

We put cookies and decorating stuff out on the table, got everything ready and waited for SSH to arrive. I wanted to wait until Hen got here because he loves mixing the colors but we couldn't wait. We set up some colors and ... well. Started decorating. 

The party was in full swing once SSH got here, and Hen didn't even say hello to me, he just went straight into decorating mode. I finally got a hug and a hi out of him, and we all just ... fell into our roles. 

I made a freaking ton of cookies. Geoff was right, you have enough cookies. Doug put on a Christmas playlist from Ryan Miller of Guster to entertain us while we were decorating. 

Seriously, he was the MVP last night. My tremendously introverted husband even came in to mingle for a while, which is unlike him. There was football on, so he and Geoff watched it, and we just ... made mayhem in the dining room. 

At one point, H told me that she had never done this before. She'd never decorated Christmas cookies. This was something no one had ever introduced her to. 

"I have a question. What happens to all these cookies? Do we get to keep some?"

Oh honey, yes. You take all your favorites home and you leave the ones you hate here, and we eat them for you. 

I tried to remember when the first time was that I decorated cookies. I know for a fact I never did growing up, that wasn't our family vibe. Maybe I just started doing it with our kids at some point? Maybe? Just like dyeing Easter eggs - I know we never did either of those things when we growing up, but we did it all the time with the kids when they were little. Both just became part of the thing we did for the holidays and for activities as a family. I could probably go back through this blog and find many different references to cookie decorating nights. Not quite as many cookies or as grand and epic as the past few years. 

I know I have done it just by myself. When we moved here to Maryland, I sat after thanksgiving dinner one year by myself and decorated a couple dozen cookies. Just as something quiet and unwindey to do. 

Anyway. So happy to introduce a fun holiday activity to her. She needed a fun day, it was a shitty year for her and her family has been less than kind. So surrounding her with colored confectioners sugar, boozy hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps and crushed candy canes on top, it was perfect.

Hen likes to make what he calls "Abominations" where usually a gingerbread man has  some sort of catastrophic decorating mess on him. He used a bunch of marshmallows to make a broken leg with bones sticking out of it, and blood. "THIS IS AN ABOMINATION!" he yells. A couple decapitated guys, weird cats with 11 eyes, all sorts of Abominations come out of his little designs. 

We ordered pizza, and I gave the delivery guy a handful of cookies and a big tip, which thrilled him. 

H was in the zone, she was decorating like a professional, and then made cookies of the Gusters, which was hilarious. She dressed them in clothing they've worn. Ryan Miller's pants, Brian's red shirt with the small white stripe, Adam's rose shouldered black cowboy shirt, Dave Butler's ginger beard, Luke's Canadian Tuxedo, and he's wearing his glasses and whistling. 

For someone who has never done this before... she killed it. Sara made the 'mingo and the tree. Credit where credit is due.

We did a cookie photo shoot, taking pictures of all our favorites, and of us together. I got the dishwasher loaded, knowing it would have to run two more times probably before everything was all cleaned up. 

Credit to Doug for taking the picture. 

It started getting late, and there were still many undecorated cookies, but everyone had at least an hour or so ride home. R and H offered to help me clean up, but I was kind of like "nah. I usually just leave it until the morning and deal with it then." 

Which is what I did. I felt like a truck hit me when I got in bed after midnight. So sore.  

In the morning today, I went downstairs, put on the coffee, fed the dog, let her out, and went and looked at the table. I laughed so hard. The freaking room was basically trashed. And I was so in love with it. 

It just felt like all the most fun that ever could be had at once was had last night. 

Cleanup would come, but first coffee. With homemade whipped cream, and a few tiny star cookies. 

Doug wanted to take a walk at the canal today but it was very windy. Okay temperature but you know your princess can't deal with the wind sometimes. I offered to stay here to clean while he went for the walk, and he opted to change plans. 

He and Geoff took Toffee to the dog park, and I cleaned, as promised. 

I stripped all the paper off the table, being careful to keep as much sugar and stuff rolled up inside. 

Since there are still cookies that need to be decorated, I kept the icing, and will freshen up what I can icing wise, or just make more, and finish up the bunch. 

I loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters, drank more coffee, and I was getting ready to vacuum again when the boys came back. That can wait, I'll get to it later or tomorrow. 

Around 3:30 I decided to go to the gym, get that walk in. Did some running to some good songs, thought about pushing it past the half hour but wanted to call Linda and drive home before it got dark. 

Linda's birthday is today, and I always say she's my solstice baby who brings light back to all of us. Cue the sappy love music. But it is true. The only thing that would have made CCC 25 better would have been her being here. 

Geoff made dinner while I was at the gym. I loaded the dishwasher (we're a team) and we watched the Steelers almost lose their game after dominating the entire first half. Whew. 

Crawled to bed, very tired. More cookie pictures tomorrow, but I'll leave you with this one of Hen and me. Since I think every year we've posted one. Merry Christmas to the Abomination Maker!

Saturday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. No measurable distance/walk but 12k+ steps by bedtime (almost 13k) 

blood glucose:

8:30am: 147
4pm: 123 
midnight: 132

food & meds:
8:30am: jardiance+phentermine
1pm: met+glip
4pm: protein shake
through the course of the evening: mixed nuts, m&ms, cheddar cheese slices
7:30pm: buffalo chicken bites from the pizza place
9pm: met+glip
White wine+diet ginger ale

Sunday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Half hour on the treadmill, 1.71 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 129
5pm: 94 
10:30pm: 157

food & meds:
9:30am: phentermine+jardiance
coffee w/whipped cream and tiny star cookies
1:30pm: english muffin w/pb & low sugar j 
2:30pm: met+glip
cookies
5:30pm: baked ziti w/ meat sauce
cookies?
8pm: met+glip
9pm: several mixed nuts 
white wine and diet cranberry ginger ale

Flying Sheds and Unboxing

I was in a meeting this morning, on video, and one of my colleagues said "Chris, your face? Is everything okay?" 

Well. I personally am okay. But. 

Looking out our front window while we were talking, I watched our across the street neighbors' shed lift up off the ground maybe 4 or 5 feet, rotate and plop down at the edge of their driveway. About ten feet away from where it was standing. 

Not something you see every day, so that was a little wild. As of 10pm, it is still not in the right place. I'm not sure what kind of folks they are, if they need help moving her back into the right spot or not. 

It was a unique experience. 

Needless to say, our weather here starting at about 5 am was rather wicked. Even now, at this late hour, it is still a freight train of wind. At least the rain stopped about 9am. But our entire porch was soaked, so the wind just drove the water in towards the house. 

My realtor came by this afternoon with a gift for us. She had a personalized christmas ornament made for our first christmas here in the house. And she looked around when she came in, and said "oh.... did I make a mistake, do you celebrate Christmas?"

Because your girl has zero decorations up. Cookies were the priority! I told her we sure do, but, I hadn't gotten to decorate yet. To be honest, I'm still looking for the box/es with lights. 

She was relieved, and I think I detected maybe this was a mistake she'd made in the past. It never came up in our conversations when we were working together, but with our last name, we for sure could be Jewish (save for the giant blonde child we have). I for sure would have asked first, before making a nice gift like this, just to ... you know. Not make a huge gaffe. 

The ornament is lovely, and now I'm motivated to put the tree out. Which is in the shed (which is anchored and will not rise up and fly around the yard) according to Doug. A task for tomorrow. 

I'm a little irritated that it is in the shed, because I spent a giant amount of time this evening looking for it. I found the boxes with the ornaments and lights, but no tree. I'm glad I said something out loud to Doug because he couldn't figure out why I was bringing boxes back upstairs. I told him these are mostly books and knickknacks, and I want to put them out on shelves. And the Christmas stuff.

For a fact, I know that if I didn't do this there would be no Christmas spirit in this house. Doug can't be bothered. Never could. Not his thing. 

But I want the wee tree, and the wee angels. Still have to find that box. Jesus I thought I moved in such an organized fashion.

I unpacked a few boxes of books, put things on shelves, I've got stuff I still need to do, so I'll get to that all. 

My 3pm meeting canceled on me, which was fine. It meant that I could treat myself to running out to the gym. Killed a half hour, should have pushed it but I have to be a responsible adult and like... go back to work. 

Tomorrow, I have a lot to do to get ready. I was thinking about making boozy hot cocoa and homemade whipped cream for our grown up guests and no boozy for Hen. 

Here's a picture of the shed. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill, 31 min/1.63 miles; moving boxes around, 31 min/.72 mi. (notice the difference in distance. lol) 12k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 110
4:30pm: 117 
10:30pm: 119

food & meds:
8am: jardiance+phentermine
10:30am: 2 slices of toasted amish cheese bread w/butter
2pm: met+glip
3pm: a couple reeses peanut butter santas
6pm: beef stew a la Geoff. 2 beers.
8pm: met+glip
9pm: pita chips and hummus

You have enough cookies

I had a busy day today and a late meeting that turned into a mutual bitch fest with someone, she had to unload, I was a willing ear. I'm not sure how I feel about her, she's a director level person and a little intense. But I think a lot of people don't respect her, or don't listen to her, or when she's holding firm and standing her ground on a decision, people do a round about and go behind her back to higher ups and then she gets her ass handed to her... when she is 100% right in the first place. 

She is the literal owner of one of the products that I support that we are rebuilding, and I think she really likes me (I mean, who would not) and I support her. I feel for her. 

It is super hard to be a woman in tech. 

While she and I were gabbing, Geoff made dinner. So it was all ready when I finished. That was a nice thing to realize. I thought he was going to go out to the market for an ingredient for this soup he made but he said "eh, it's only one ingredient. meh." I honor that decision. 

After I cleaned up from dinner, I got to baking the last batch of cookie dough. I make it the night before, split it into 4 piles and wrap it in cling wrap. At some point in the afternoon, I take out the blobs, let them come up to warmer but not fully thawed temps, and make cookies. 

At some point, I was putting cookies into containers, over and over, cookies.... cookies..... cookies. And I said to Geoff "do you think I should make more shapes? Do I need more trees or stars or ..."

"You have enough cookies," deadpan Geoff says to me. 

Yeah, you know, you're right, I do. I do. 

Tomorrow, I think I'll make some plain white frosting and decorate the snowflakes and mickey mouse faces. that way, they'll be solid/dry for decorating with colors (ie: black ears, etc). I have to figure out some container options for frosting. 

S told me that H has been talking about this for a week, with the level of excitement that he's going to Disney World or something. 

This is honestly on the level of going. to. Disney. for this kid. 

Can't wait. 

Here's a picture of hen from 2022. Can't wait to take more Saturday. 

Digits, below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  rather chilly/brisk walk. 30 min/1.62 mi. Fitbit measured me moving boxes around in the basement looking for christmas stuff, 17 min/.45 mi (I'll take a measured fitbit report!) 11k+ stepsby bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 101
4:15pm: 97 
11:45pm: 94

food & meds:
9am: jardiance+phentermine
9am: 2 slices of amish cheese bread toasted w/butter
1:45: met+glip (remembered today! lol)
2:15pm: atkins protein shake
4:15pm: one cat shaped sugar cookie (the leg, she was deformed...)
6:15pm: bowl of southwestern chicken soup a la Geoff, shredded cheese and left over nachos on top.
7pm: ramekin of cashews 
9pm: met+glip
vodka & diet tonic

Off to Virginia

Not me, but Doug. 

Doug works at a hospital in Virginia, it is about a 2 hour ride now where we've moved. And before the end of this year all employees were required to come in, get their picture taken, and get a brand new access key card/badge. He has procrastinated it a little bit, and this morning the procrastination continued but he finally did it. Very proud of him. 

Sidebar note: I woke up at 2am and ended up going to the guest room and listening to a podcast. May I highly recommend: The Constant, Holiday episodes 2 stories. This episode is a re-recording of two episodes that Mark released over the past couple years, re-recorded and remastered. The first story is in a poem format, similar to the night before Christmas about a horrible man who made airplanes that crashed and he scammed people all over but got away scot free. The second one is It's Wonderful, which is about It's A Wonderful Life and that starts at about 17 min. into the recording. Trust me. Go listen to it. Both are great but It's Wonderful is ... Wonderful. end sidebar.

When I woke up this morning, I went upstairs at 9:15am to do my blood sugar and take the morning meds, and he was there working. I told him I thought he had left and he said no - he had to get something done before leaving. He finally went at about 11am.

I had big plans. I got a shower, felt more awake and alive after a cruddy night's sleep. I did some work and instead of baking cookies or vacuuming, I decided to finish the bookshelf that has been semi-assembled on the dining table for weeks. 

Done. 

I got something done. And while I was finishing putting in the screws, Doug came back. I was disappointed, because the next thing I was going to do was vacuum. 

I'm going to make him go out on a solo walk with the dog before Saturday, so I can finally do the deed.

Our team had a meeting with our SVP today. We do this once a month, and she's very interesting, has all the hot goss on the things happening organizationally. 

I had my weekly check in with my manager, lots to talk about, lots to think about, and my January - June will be solely focused on this one product and all that needs to be done. Communications plan, QA Testing, Pilot groups with a few clients, Testing! Training! Oh my gosh we have to do training. 

It's going to be mental. 

Anyway. Geoff started to make dinner and I took myself for a walk. Fitbit just did a platform upgrade, and somehow it kept turning off the measurement. It was about 34 minutes but the device only recorded a 15 minute exercise as running. Not the walk at my usual pace, where it lets me run but not change the exercise type. I notice there's a new setting for Treadmill which means I'll be able to walk and run, so maybe I'll use that to go around the neighborhood. 

We watched the president "speak to the nation" and we yelled at the TV.

And I baked more cookies. What happens tomorrow? Placing books and things onto the brand new built bookshelf. More cookies (dough is made, and I'll be ready to make the last big round of different shapes). And then maybe I'm done? Who knows! I'm sometimes out of control with this cookie decorating nonsense.

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Took a 34 min walk, but my fitbit kept turning off. Measured 15 total minutes/.75 miles (but it was much much more)... 4240 steps in the 6pm-7pm hour, should be 1.77 miles based on my height/stride. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 119
4pm: 171 (due to forgetting my met/glip at the usual time of 1pm)
11:15pm: 103

food & meds:
9:15am: jardiance+phentermine
noon: bowl of mac & cheese w/hamburger
4pm: met+glip
7pm: nacho chips w/ ground beef, avocado, salsa, sour cream
vodka & diet tonic
11:15pm: met+glip

Walk or Cookies or Both?

Today started with a very early meeting. Our developers for a product I support are in Europe, so it is 7 hours ahead of Eastern time. They end up working very late, but for this call we got an early start. Alright of a start for me but not one of our California design team members. 4am at his house. Ufff. 

I didn't shower before hand, just kind of rolled out of bed at 8, brushed my hair, washed my face so my eyebrows weren't sticking up all over the place. Enjoyed the meeting. I like our developers in Europe. They are earnest and kind. 

My 11am meeting with a client didn't happen because she forgot. I kind of love when that happens to be honest. It does not enrage me, like I'm sure some folks would be upset about it. It shows me she's human. And makes me love her.  

She told me that she accepted the meeting, a week ago, and then on a whim took today off. Because most people I know take the day off and still end up working, she was on a conference call with someone else when my "hey, are you coming to the meeting?" email got to her. She jumped into our zoom call, which I'd ended but I get an alert if someone joins (which is cool). We had a laugh, talked about how busy this time of year is and how scatterbrained she sometimes is. 

We rescheduled and I told her to take the rest of her dang diddly day OFF!  Rescheduled for tomorrow! 

This afternoon, I had a wide opening of mid-day time and thought about going to the gym and then the market but got deep in some stuff. I rolled out cookies and cut/baked them. Then it was too late for the gym and market so I kept working. 

Eventually did need to get to the market so I went on over. When I got back, made dinner (today was Geoff's last in person class for the semester with his final exam so dinner was my responsibility). After dinner, realizing I was about 3k steps short of the goal I took myself out. 

No wind, 30 degrees, playlist pumping. Let's go. 

When I got home I whipped up more cookie dough and set it into the fridge. Drank more wine. Talked to Linda. Texted with John. He's supposed to finally be transferred to a nursing facility tomorrow in Mechanicsville VA. He's not happy, but he's not super UNhappy. It isn't the worst place on earth. And I think he'll be happy to go from the big hospital. 

Baked cookies. Made more dough. Baked more cookies. It's a theme. It's a trend. 

Doug is going to the office tomorrow, he has a meeting and has to get a new ID badge because they're changing the system at the hospital. I'll see how much vacuuming I can get done while he's away! ha! 

Oh, and the image is from last night's football game viewing. Team Triscuit card carrying member here. Even though I try not. Still, working on kicking ass on that A1C situation with the occasional cracker.

digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  23 min/1.34 mi walk outside; 12k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 134
4:30pm: 102
10:45pm: 142

food & meds:
8:30am: jardiance+phentermine
noon: low sugar yogurt w/granola bar
1:15pm: met+glip
6:30pm: bowl of spaghetti & mini meatballs (frozen ones) in sauce
red wine
9:45pm: met+glip
11pm: lump of portwine cheese spread (to get it out of the fridge)

Cookies Cookies Cookies!

It was a busy work day, several meetings. And I thought I had a 3pm meeting but it was at 4pm. Damn. If I had planned I could have gone to the gym with plenty of time to get back. 

But. 

I faced the reality that I'd need to walk outside no matter how cold because there was no way I was going to be able to walk a mile in the house here. 

I pre-loaded steps with an inside walk of 15 min, tried to go fast to get as many steps as possible in. At about 5pm, I opted to suit up and go on out. Doug said he wanted to go with, so we got Toffee ready and all of us headed out. 

He cut a corner and came back a block earlier than I wanted to. I thought about telling him I was going to do my full 1 plus mile walk but we stuck together. 

No wind, and it was perfect. 

Geoff was cheffing up dinner when we got back and he picked what sounded like it would be meh and he made it shine. It was so good. It didn't cross his mind to make rice or orzo to go with it, and that was fine, no carbs no problem. 

Once dinner was cleaned up and put away, I started in on cookie prep. Seeing as my friends are coming over for CCC '25 on Saturday, we need a pantload of cookies ready to decorate. Best get crackin'!!!

I got out my recipe - Four eggs? Oh. I thought it was two. I have .... four. Okay. I guess I make one batch to start and go to the market tomorrow. 

So we got a few made. Note to self - move the bottom rack in the oven up a skootch. No cookies burned, but they are brown on the bottom. 

I made 2 trays and put the rest of the dough away, time for football. In doing the cookies, I was overjoyed to have this extra area in the kitchen to work with. My old kitchen was painfully small, and I'd have to take everything off the counter top to do it so I'd do a lot at once. Gonna be great. 

Digits below pictures. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor quick walk, 15 min/.81 mi. Toffee and Doug walk, 18 min/.94 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45am: 137
4:45pm: 134
10pm: 94

food & meds:
8:45am: jardiance
10:30am: 2 slices of amish cheese bread w/cream cheese
12:30pm: apple w/pb
1:30pm: met+glip
2pm: giant oatmeal cookie
6pm: chicken cacciatore: 2 chicken thighs, wine/tomato sauce, onions, carrots, mushrooms. Geoff killed it tonight! 
red wine
8:30pm: triscuits & port wine/almond cheese  

Cookies 2026 - It begins

Henry has given our cookie decorating event an official name. CCC. 

Christmas Cookies with Christine. 

So, it's officially a tradition. Not only is this year 4, but... it has a name. 

Today I was going to start mixing up the cookie dough, get it set aside, and start baking cookies every day this week. I only had 2 eggs though. So that'll happen tomorrow. I'll send Geoff to the store for more vanilla, and eggs, and m&ms for decorating trees and rudolph's nose. 

So instead of getting the sugar cookies baked, I opted to make oatmeal cookies. I also had the added joy of discovering that our milk jug was leaking. Geoff said he didn't drop it on the way into the house or anything but somehow, there was a leak that obviously wasn't an issue at the market or it would have leaked empty in the store. 

Doug suggested using one of the glass bottles we got from South Mountain Creamery. I thought they were gallon, or 3/4 gallon but they are half gallon. So I used one of our sports bottles for most of the remaining amount. There was about a half cup left, and that's exactly what I need for the oatmeal cookies. 

When I made them, I should have used the medium size cookie scoop. I used the biggest one, so the cookies were actually gigantic. But they were super tasty. 

Earlier today, I went to the gym before the football games even got started. I told myself to do a full half hour, and I did. I will say that if I push to 40 min I can probably hit 2 miles. If only my attention span would work! 

I ran a little bit, a few of the songs were bangers and ones that I enjoy jogging to. Felt like I got a good amount of steps and distance in. 

Doug had put the chicken wings into the oven, and they were heating up. He took a nap and I took them out to evaluate them. They were super flabby and gross, and I knew that I wasn't going to enjoy them. I feel like flabby chicken wings are a crime. They have to be good and crispy. Cooked long enough that you can strip the meat right off with one bite. These were not that. 

I spread them out on a sheet, to get them some space, put a little olive oil on them but still, that didn't crisp them up. 

Still, the ones I ate had good meat on them, and it didn't kill me to eat them. I just wouldn't suggest we ever buy these again. Some other offering from the BBQ guy at the Dutch Market. 

Then I had two giant oatmeal cookies for dinner. Didn't want to eat much else. 

Right now it is 16 degrees out and windy as heck. Hoping tomorrow is a little bit warmer and not as windy. Toffee struggled with the cold today!

Pictures below are ... One of my cookies broken in half, but it is the size of the plate. Then, miss Toffee all sleepy and cuddly on my lap, missing in this shot is the blanket she is swaddled in. And then Miss Dijon, also a cuddle pup wrapped in her blanket. Perfect place for doggies to be today! 

And digits below the pics.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill, 30 min/1.62 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45am: 142
5pm: 102
10pm: 150

food & meds:
9am: jardiance
10am: 2 slices of amish cheese bread, toasted w/butter
11am: bowl of mac & cheese w/bacon
1pm: met+glip
3:30pm: some chicken wings
6pm: 2 giant oatmeal cookies
white wine
9pm: met+glip

Errands and Beers and Walkies

We have weather headed our way tonight. Allegedly an inch or two of snow, but everyone acts like it is a snowpocalypse, even here in the mountains. It snow/rained a bit, last time I checked before writing this entry. We shall see what tomorrow is like! 

We may not get out of the house tomorrow. I'm glad we got a couple things done today. 

First up was bird seed. Doug put out our bird feeders and thought we had a big ole bag but there was no big ole bag. There is a "farm and family" store in the plaza up the street, and they have all kinds of things for your farm and your family. Including bird seed in many different styles. 

We have a bird feeder "hook" that's like a shepherd's hook - you can't quite see it out the window in the living room so we eyeballed a really taller one. He wanted to give this shorter one a test to see if birds even come by, or if the squirrels we are feeding our giant stash of walnuts to will eat it all up as a change of pace. The walnuts are a whole story in and of themselves... ugh. Anyway. 

Two bags hauled up and out the door. And I'll be going back for some good winter socks, soon. I didn't feel like poking around too much and burdening Doug because he had a bit of an agenda. I always shop better solo anyway. 

Next to a Dutch Market. They have everything from the local farms, and there is a BBQ joint in the back which was looking to get rid of as many chicken wings as they could. So a huge tray for 20 bucks. Perfect for football tomorrow. Oh, and cherry pie to go with the ice cream that we still have. 

We drove around a part of town we hadn't really been through, and found ourselves rolling up on the downtown brewery. Oh of course, yes please. We stopped in for a couple beers and chats but didn't stay long. Doug wanted to feed the birds. 

While he fed the birds, I took Toffee for a solid walk, not as long as I wanted but she was kind of a pest on the leash. Still, just about a mile, and I think it made her very happy. 

Geoff made dinner for us and got it started while I was out walking the dog. 

All told, a banner day. Tomorrow may not be as awesome outdoors-wise. But at least we have wings! 

Here are some brewery pictures! Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Two walks - one inside while Doug was showering (because I didn't want to not get a walk in case we decided not to go anywhere) 23 min/.41 mi (slow - putting things away and tidying up while walking. Second walk with Toffee, 17 min/.9 mi. 11k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45am: 140
5pm: 153
10:30pm: 171

food & meds:
8:45am: jardiance (waiting for phentermine to arrive)
11:45am: english muffin w/pb & low sugar j
1pm: met+glip
2pm: 2 beers at the brewery
5:30pm: chicken parm w/some penne; big slab of cherry pie w/vanilla ice cream
2 more beers
9pm: Met+glip

Leftover Bonanza

Work was super slow, so a quick check on the weather indicated that it was cold (33 degrees) there was no wind (that I could feel in the backyard) so I set out to do a decent walk at 3pm-ish. It was much colder out than I thought, the wind was a little more windy than I thought when I evaluated things. 

Ugh. 

I didn't cut it down short even though I wanted to. Pushed through. The playlist was a little on the slower side so no running. Doug and Geoff took Toffee to the dog park, and because I knew I'd fall short on steps overall for the day. While they were gone, I did more inside steps, then went through the refrigerator to find all the leftovers. 

We have a lot of leftovers. 

Geoff's meals usually are to feed 4 people, sometimes we eat it all but sometimes there are leftovers. They go into the fridge, and well, sometimes they are forgotten.

But not tonight.

I ate 2 of the pork chops from the other night's meal. Doug had a bowl of turkey soup and some orzo pasta that was left over from his restaurant meal last weekend. Geoff had a bowl of chili and then some mashed potatoes under some chili, which never occurred to him. So he was blown away. It was kind of cute.

There are still leftovers. I think I'm going to make a shepherds pie with the potatoes, and some ground beef. I just need gravy. 

Tonight was our office holiday party. I didn't feel like going, 2 hours there and probably a hotel for the night. I wanted to be home here. I'm not in a festive or party mood. I have a little bit of regret but not really. Parties are nice though. Maybe next year. 

Not sure what we're doing this weekend. Allegedly we're getting snow on Saturday but right here, we are not expecting any accumulations. West of us they're getting a foot, east of us probably a couple inches. Kind of weird that we're in a possible no-zone. 

Not much else to say today. No picture digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 27 min walk outside/1.45 mi. no jog/run aspect, just straight up walking; 10 min inside, .56 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 153
4pm: 143
10pm: 170 (expected to be lower thanks to taking met+glip at the same time here).

food & meds:
8:30am: jardiance (waiting for phentermine to arrive)
9:30am: atkins protein bar
12:30pm: bowl of tuna salad w/ some left over greens and cherry tomatoes
4pm: met+glip (forgot to take earlier. doh)
6pm: leftover pork chops, 3 pierogis, 
8pm: ramekin of cashews; orange juice and pineapple rum
10pm: met+glip

Not much of an entry today

 Only writing something for digits and then going to bed. So thankful for Geoff making dinner. Such a mensch.

zzzzzz goodnight.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Treadmill, 20 min/1.09 mi (cut short to get back to work); second walk, 15 min/.8 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 122
5pm: 116
11pm: 173

food & meds:
7:45am: jardiance (waiting for phentermine to arrive)
noon: BLT Salad
1pm: met+glip
6:30pm: pork chop & 4 pierogis in a very nice sauce from geoff.
white wine
vodka/orange juice
8:30pm: met+glip

Fancy Pants and Apple Pie

A few weeks ago I bought some winter weight exercise pants from Baleaf, because it is getting awfully cold out there. And I can't always go to the gym if I have a day stacked with meetings (like today). To actually get a walk/jog/dog time in I'm going to have to suck it up and go outside. 

To be honest, the other night I was out there and it was 27 degrees. I had on my regular yoga pants, which don't go all the way to my shoes. My whole body was really comfortable, no wind was blowing (this is a major plus) but my shins and feet were freezing. Your girl was okay.

I have LL Bean gloves where the fingers flip up and your finger tips can be out (good for the Pokemon playing or the playlist shuffling). A sweatshirt with a hood, my columbia sportswear jacket liner, I'm pretty good to go as long as there is no wind!

So these pants got their maiden voyage today in between meetings. Super comfy and warm, extra pockets, which is nice. I feel like they are too long but it is better than too short. I did a 20 min walk around the block, super comfortable and happy. Would have kept going, but had to get back for a meeting. Ten thumbs up for the pants.

Oh, and it was 40 degrees and no wind today. Perfect. I wished I'd gone out 30 min. earlier to pack in a good long walk but I had to get back for a meeting. I did end up going out after dinner for another quickie since I was about 1500 steps shy of my goal for the day. And it was still perfect out. Aaaah. 

Thanks Pants! 

Last night, if you recall, I had peeled those apples, and put them in the fridge for today. I intended to make the pie at noon but didn't get to it until about 4:45pm due to meetings (and the fact when I should have been getting the pie ready I went for that walk, but the walk was important). I used a recipe I found online for sour cream apple pie, or Pennsylvania Dutch apple pie. I had made something similar many times in the past with a different recipe, I think it also had cranberries in it. I lost that recipe, it was cut out of a newspaper in 1990! I usually fail at the streusel topping, but this one worked out AND included walnuts.  

It came out beautifully at around 6:30pm, and was still hot when we cut into it so the ice cream got melty and delicious. I am very happy with the recipe and the results. 

Geoff made a cheesy chicken alfredo thing for dinner. Heck it was tasty. We created so many dishes though, I had to run the dishwasher twice and there are still bowls in the sink for the morning... 

And, thank God for the dishwasher. That would have been about 10 sinks of dishes, drying, washing, drying.... forever. 

Pictures of pie. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 20 min walk/1.14 mi (no jogging or anything); 11 min/.59 mi.; 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 111
4:45pm: 118
11pm: 188

food & meds:
8:30am: phentermine+jardiance
11:30am: bowl of mac & cheese w/bacon
1pm: met+glip
2pm: atkins snack bar
7pm: plate of chicken alfredo pasta
7:30pm: slice of damn fine pie, with a scoop of full sugar vanilla ice cream (sorry blood sugar!)
8pm: met+glip
white wine

Apple Pie Prep

My cousin as of this writing still has not been moved to his nursing home. Doug told me he should be thankful. The major hospital is a better place to be for right now. Be patient. He texted that they got him cleaned up and shaved, and sent a picture to us. It is stunning how much he looks like his mom since he's lost like 150 pounds over the past couple years.

Cancer is a hell of a weight loss plan. 

I asked him "did you get more snow? Maybe that's why they haven't moved you, to keep vehicles off the street." And he told me I'm probably right. 

Will check in with him tomorrow to see how things are going. 

This has nothing to do with John, but this morning I woke up in kind of a crappy mood. Kind of like, I do not want to do work, why am I going to work, blah, meh, feh, etc. 

It could be worse when it comes to work, I mean, my sister can tell ya... I chatted with my work wife and said I just wanted to bake pies and take a walk but it is 20 degrees and I hate peeling apples.

Why is life so unfair to us! hahaha.

Anyway. I went down, checked mail, decided I would work help documents. I read them. Didn't make a lot of adjustments or changes. And got distracted by helpdesk tickets. 

Next thing I knew it was time for a prep meeting for a presentation that one colleague has invited me to help with but another one is totally going to do what the person who invited me wanted me to do. I just had to laugh. Oh okay. Take all the work on yourself and I'll sit here and watch. 

I like that. To be actually honest, I like it. I will sit and smile on Zoom.

At around 2pm, help articles and tickets were boring me, Doug was napping, Geoff went to class, so I got in the car and went to the gym. It is kind of a long drive to get there, I wish they had a location closer. I looked at the YMCA and it is so stupid expensive that I said no way. This'll do. And I'll suck up the time in the car.

Half hour on the treadmill and the playlist didn't serve up any bangers. Some slower things, but still, enough for me to get over a mile and a half. Because I needed to get back to work, I didn't push to 40 min. This was enough and I felt happy for it. 

Back home and back to work. I lost track of time and completely forgot to feed the dog.  She waited for me to realize, without whining or crying. Sorry bean. I love you and how patient you are. 

I started dinner, Doug was still working so I got everything prepped and partly cooked, and waited on the pierogis because I wanted to have them ready closer to when Geoff got home. It worked out just right. 

Today, the freezer stopped making ice cubes and we aren't sure why. The refrigerator runs cold as hell, and the ice maker has always been a little rock star. Never empty. Just always so reliable. We'll look into it tomorrow. I'm sure there is a 20 minute video on the internet to tell me what to look for.

Good thing I didn't chuck the two reliable ice trays we have. That freezer will probably have frozen solid babies in no time, and I'll just keep refilling it all day. 

I did peel apples for apple pie, I just didn't feel like baking a whole ass apple pie at 10pm. They are in a ziploc bag in the very very cold refrigerator. Patiently waiting for me to turn them into a bomb ass pie tomorrow. 

thought about taking pictures of them but. Meh. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Treadmill trip, 30 min/1.68 mi (slower pace than yesterday). 10+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 123
4:30pm: 88
10:15pm: 116

food & meds:
8:30am: phentermine+jardiance
12:30pm: English muffin w/pb & low sugar j; handful of fritos
1:30pm: Met+glip 
4:45pm: ramekin of cashews
6:30pm: keilbasa, onions & peppers, 4 pierogi. white wine
8pm: met+glip

It's a birthday

 We interrupt our regularly scheduled bloggings for a little celebration. Today is my best bestie's birthday. And she's had a rough year with a lot of stuff going on in her little corner of the world. I actually put it in my google calendar this year, because I always know December but forget the actual date. 

Is it December 3? 5? 9? 12? when the hell is her birthday! 

So the alert went off on my phone at 6am. But magically, I knew before I went to bed that it was today and that made me smile. 

I want her to know how special she is. I don't think she knows how special she is. I don't think I could give her a gift that could reflect my love, adoration, and appreciation for her (I do have a little something to send her but keep forgetting to ship it! Note to self...). 

She's the kind of friend where you say you need something, it shows up on your front porch, delivered by the FedEx folks, the next day. She's constantly thoughtful and faithful to remembering things (much better than I am) and is a loving host when you come to visit. I'm wearing a pair of slippers she bought me one year that I came up to camp, because the forecast was for cold weather and camp is camp. So feet have to be protected. 

Somehow, she knows the perfect time to send a text or email, when the universe is beating down on my brain, I get a love note or an "Oh, hello" from her that brightens my day.  We can go a week without connecting but she's there. She's always there, and like the Temptations sang in "My Girl," I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. She is just that.

She tolerates my Guster obsession and was willing to join me for this show in Boston (photo from the meetup with GusFans before the show). While she isn't as into a lot of music as I am, she's a good go-along for the fun friend. Once, she told me after a Barenaked Ladies concert that she had more fun watching me watch them. 

It's that kind of acknowledgement of who I am that I love and appreciate. Doug would choose to not go to a show at all, which makes me sad, rather than come and watch me be deep in my joy. 

Through her job, I've learned so much about her field that when I see something relevant to it, I stop to talk to the person and I sound like I know what I'm talking about, thanks to her. 

I can turn to her with gripes and with happiness. Share my oys and joys as it were. 

There are few people on this earth I love this much. And she's in the top 5 hands down. And the four others are Linda, Doug, Jess, and Geoff. 

She is family, chosen family, and without her I'm often rudderless. 

Oh, and she always says "we need to get a good picture of us next time we see each other" but to be honest, this picture brings me so much joy. At a bar, in Fenway, with a shiny neon Baseball sign over our heads. How hilarious. It's perfect. It's us.

Happy Birthday Caroline. Wishing I could hang out with you right now, but soon. And soon and soon. I love you. 

Miss Her Already

I had thought about going to a breakfast joint down the road. Linda had to put in some work so I opted for sammitches for all. We left for the airport at 11:15 or so. Doug was working and I had taken the day, so we enjoyed some time without anyone else. 

It takes a lifetime to get to the airport. Probably my only regret about where we bought our house, but to be honest, the highway goes fast. The speed limit is 70 so of course everyone is doing 80+. We were there in no time, and I headed back west. 

I was sad driving away. Looking forward to the next togetherness.

The plan for the day was to go to the gym since I wasn't working and if I was already out in the world, why the hell not. The gym was good, just did the treadmill and put in a solid and fast half hour with actual jogging to things while watching a cooking show with food that I wanted to eat. Lin texted me right when I finished my treadmill time to say she landed. Perfect timing. 

It was 3pm, and I realized damn - I'm hungry. It had been a long time since brekkie sammitches. I was going to go to Target but realized I could just get everything I needed at Aldi so I went on the way home. 

Dinner was an important moment. Doug had made really good turkey stock and it was in the fridge. Not the freezer. I knew if that didn't get turned into soup, it was going to have to be turned into garbage. Usually, 7 days from Thanksgiving is when you pitch your leftovers, but I felt confident - our fridge keeps everything super cold to the point where things are sometimes frozen (like the carrots in the drawer). 

I had chopped up the turkey before we went to Richmond, froze it, and got everything out to make soup as soon as I got home. I thought I had a bag of mixed veggies in the freezer but it was mostly broccoli and watercress, more of an asian meal mix than a soup mix. So I used some noodles, mushrooms, green onions, and the rest of the parsley we had in the fridge that by a miracle was still good (see the super cold fridge fact above). 

Everything came together really nicely, and I'd gotten some ciabatta sandwich bread at Aldi to make into nice lil' planks of garlic bread. 

And that's how I spent my day off. I thought about finishing the bookshelf, but my umpfh was gone for the day. 

No word from John yet on if the's been moved to the nursing facility. I'll touch base with him tomorrow. No pic today. Too busy driving! 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 30 min. treadmill 1.73 mi. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 110
4pm: 140
10pm: 103

food & meds:
9am: phentermine+jardiance (forgot to take when I woke up)
10:30am: brekkie sammitch - egg, cheddar, sausage, english muffin
4pm: met+glip; atkins protein bar
6pm: 2 big bowls of turkey soup w/egg noodles, carrots, scallions, mushrooms, parsley, slice of toasted ciabatta bread; white wine
10pm: met+glip 

The waiting game begins

Doug woke up at 8:30 and knocked his glasses off the side table so the light had to come on. I said "I guess I'm up?" 

And it was a good thing. I wanted to hit the treadmill because we were going to be in the car for at least 3 hours. 

So I got us coffee, Doug got into the shower, and I was on the treadmill by 9:15. 

I had the gym to myself, which is always fun because your girl likes to sing out loud and punch at the air and look like an idiot while doing this. 

Anything to keep my attention span engaged. 

The playlist was perfect. I got to actually run to Frank Turner, Rage Against the Machine, and Smashing Pumpkins. 

A song came on that I would have skipped so I took that as my queue to head back upstairs and get ready. I promised myself 10 minutes and got 26 under my belt.

We assembled in the lobby at 10:30, checked out of the hotel, got the car, and headed to breakfast. I'm actually very proud of myself for knowing how to get around the city to get to things. We were at a rotary (Stevens Circle) and I pointed up the street and said "that's the way to John's apartment in the Fan." After all I did drive that road dozens of times in July back and forth from my hotel in town to his place over to VCU back to his place back to my hotel... it became muscle memory.

The Village Cafe is an old school style restaurant, beautiful wood booths (built when people were a lot skinnier than we are these days). Lin and I got mimosas, and they don't screw around. 

Fucking pint glasses of champagne with a splash of "color" just the way Linda likes it. We chatted and initially I wasn't going to tell my cousin Bill how things ended up the last time I was with John but I did. 

It felt good to tell him, since I thought he should know. To be honest I think was looking for approval or something, acknowledgement that ya know, kid, you did the best you could even at the end of your rope. 

And he gave that to me. My anger about how all that went in July, it felt good to be seen and understood.

Breakfast was great. Fellowship was great. Honestly out of all of this, I'm exceptionally thankful for the time we had with Bill, telling stories and remembering family shit. 

It was funny because yeah, this is a hot spot and brunch is brunch and timing can be a challenge. John texted us to "be prepared to stand in line for a long time" to get in the door. Yeah, that makes sense, and we know because we're grown adults who have experienced restaurants in the past in our lives. 

He likes to be the "expert" on things Richmond. Telling us this like we wouldn't have ever thought it. Like, somehow we'd think Richmond was not a cool and hip enough city to have a restaurant on a college campus with a wait.  

Doug doesn't wait on line for food. No restaurant is worth more than a 20 minute wait in his mind. So we were prepared to ditch and run. 

Bill said "there's always Bojangles." And I thought that was hilarious. Doug said he was going to put "Waffles near me" in Trip Advisor and see what came up. We had a plan B, C, and Z.

Doug dropped us off to find parking because that is honestly the hard part in Richmond. He had to go up the block a few buildings to score a spot. And then, literally, we walked right in, dozens of open spaces, great table... in fact it is where Doug and I sat last time we were there in like 2021. 

John had texted to say he had permission to get outside food, so he asked for fruit salad, Fruity Hawaiian Punch (of all things) and one package of quality hot cocoa mix. 

We got him a whole box of hot cocoa mix (nestle, for the record) a really nice pineapple/strawberry/kiwi fruit salad (he didn't want melons, so this one was a slam dunk). And a 6 pack of small red fruity red Hawaiian punch. I hope when they transfer him tomorrow, it all goes over to the new place with him.

When we got to the hospital there was a college friend already visiting. Linda and Billy went down to the room and Doug and I went to the waiting room. After a bit, they came out, and we went in. It was kind of funny because there were 3 of us, another person came in, and then ANOTHER person. So we'd been kind of following the rules by doing the only 2 visitors thing, and next thing we know five people are in the room with him. 

He was awake and lively. Very excited for visitors, the two college friends, a lady he used to work with at a restaurant, and Doug and me. We were watching the Ravens/Steelers game, and John has a great memory - he brought up Doug coming from Pittsburgh to tell his friends about us, and that Jess went to Pitt for a while. We talked about how there's a guy on the Steelers that Geoff went to high school with, and played JV football with for a year back in the day. And John said his name. He literally knew this fact already and I didn't think he knew it. 

The guy is a douche sometimes but he pays attention. He knows the details. He remembers things that most people forget. There's something to say about that in a family member. 

We finished up our visit, Bill came down to the room and we said goodbye to him. His flight is very late tonight out of Richmond and I'm honestly not sure when we'll see each other again. 

Team Mini Cooper (us) headed north and traffic was great until we got to ..... LORTON. It always falls to shit there. Luckily it wasn't long, and then getting over to the beltway/395 was shitty. Once we were on 270 it was smooth sailing. An interesting sunset, home and a very enthusiastic dog welcome. 

We ordered pizza, drank wine, watched football. Doug took a nap and woke up at 9:30 (oh the poor thing) Linda forced herself to stay up until 10. 

Tomorrow, I'll take her to the airport. Doug didn't take the day off, so I'm the responsible adult with a vacation day. 

Not sure if it will be a go out to brekkie first kind of thing or what. But. It'll be a drag getting rid of the sister. 

Digits below. We were lucky to get that one pic with Toffee. Ha.

digits

exercise: 10/12 hours, missed a couple hours due to being in the car. 26 min on the treadmill/1.5 miles; 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 170
5:15pm: 117
9:30pm: 170

food & meds:
9am: phentermine+jardiance
10:30am: breakfast sandwich on biscuit, homefries, mimosa, 
2pm:met+glip
6:30pm: buffalo chicken bites, piece of pizza crust, 4 oreo cookies. White wine
8:30pm: met+glip

Gotta Love A Parade

We left our hotel and walked towards the hospital. Only when we walked out, there was a parade. A great big Christmas parade. It took us a lot longer to get to the hotel than we planned but it was worth it to see all the shenanigans. 

Doug and I went into visit John first and he was out cold, and out of it. We ended up getting booted while they did some medical stuff for him, and we waited in the family waiting room. 

Doug opted to go for a walk, Linda and I were hungry, and Bill was going to the apartment to look for some stuff that John wanted him to grab. 

Linda and I went down to visit and he was awake, alert, aware. We had a good chat, and watched some football together. Bill came back from the apartment, and we had some more time together before John nodded off and we opted to head out. 

Bill went to his hotel and we went to ours. Doug was napping so Lin and I hit the bar in the lobby. It was hopping, a big huge office holiday party, lots of people everywhere. Very dressed up, very fancy, looking good.

A couple sat with us, they were passing by on their way home to Maryland. Next thing you know we're just laughing and telling stories. Linda can talk to a coat rack and make it laugh and have a good time. 

Eventually I needed some protein so I ordered us burgers from the bar rather than us schlep out and explore and find food. 

I needed to do steps, and Linda found more people to talk to (we entertained them by doing accents). and I came up to check in. Doug wasn't hungry, so I did steps up and down the hall instead of going to the gym. 

Initially the plan was for John to go to the nursing facility tomorrow, but that has been moved back to Monday. None of us will be with him for the move so I hope everything goes smoothly. 

We are meeting in the morning to go to breakfast and then back to John for a final visit before heading home. Bill's flight is about 10pm tomorrow, so he'll be here for the full day. Wishing him the best. 

Bedtime. Digits below. I took a bunch of pictures but am too tired to go through them. Here's the Grinch shooting fire into the air. You know, like the Grinch would.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  a few measurable walks but I won't write them out. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 115
n/apm: n/a
10pm: 129

food & meds:
11am: phentermine+jardiance
2pm: bowl of cream of broccoli soup and chicken bacon sammitch from Panera
4:30pm: met+glip
5:30pm: wine. wine wine wine 
7:30pm: cookies from Panera
8pm: met+glip. cheeseburger w/tomato, lettuce, a few fries, no roll

Well isn't that just something

We left our house just before noon and made great time to Richmond. We checked into the hotel and connected with my cousin Bill. He told us where to get to the hospital, what floor, etc and said to text him when we were at the Panera. 

We got together, had a chat in the hallway. It seems that Sunday is when he'll be transferred to a facility to hospice him. Bill flies home Sunday night. We can leave whenever to head back north. We'll play everything by ear. If he is still around next weekend.... I'll come down again

Bill took us up to John's room, they were more strict than previous nights and told us that only two of us could visit in the room at a time. Bill had been there all day so he was happy to go hang in the family room, with Doug. Linda and I went in to be with John. 

He was mostly asleep when we got there, but we held his hands and sat quietly until he started to stir. He was happy we were there, squeezed our hands in silence. We just sat there. Harry Potter was on TV. The one with the time traveling and the hour glass. It felt appropriate and funny. 

He started chatting and said "How the fuck .... did I perforate my bowel?" 

Absolutely the best question. 

With everything going on with his body, this? Of all things. This? This is the thing. Jesus. I recalled that he had texted me the weekend before Thanksgiving to say he was throwing up a lot, and I thought that was just a natural byproduct of everything he was going through but yeah. There it is. He's not got a stomach bug, or anything else, this is his body shutting down. He had called a friend to take him to the emergency room after a few days. I can't say I could have said "oh, I should run down there" or something, because honestly, throwing up is sometimes just part of things and life. But that's how they got him figured out. And got him to where he is today.

We chatted about a bunch of things, a lot of music like Phish and his favorite songs. I mentioned "If I could I would," and he said that's his favorite. He asked me if I had the Joy Box he gave me, and if I looked at the posters. I told him I did, but truthfully I hadn't - because I didn't want to take them out of their packaging but I may want to frame them and go for it. We talked about how Linda does not have any love for Jam Bands but is willing to try some Phish. I have an easy "starter kit" list of songs to introduce people to Phish that I love. 

He and Linda got to sharing some pictures and talking about when we were kids. John had some pictures on his phone that I would love to have, so tomorrow I'm going to text them to myself. 

After about an hour he politely kicked us out. He was wiped out, wanted some sleep, and we were happy to give him that. 

Billy and Doug were in the family waiting area, so we connected and walked from the hospital to the Capital Ale House for dinner. We swapped stories, Billy told us a couple doozies and Linda had a great one about our mom. 

Honestly had a napkin over my face at one point because I was laughing so hard. 

It was pretty great. 

After dinner we headed back to our hotel, Doug went up to the room. Linz and I hit the bar because we did not have any wine (note to self...) and the bartender was super sweet. We talked with him a lot and then a guy came and sat down. He is from Ireland, works for NATO, and we just talked and talked about our country, and how if we can prove we have grandparents from Ireland, Ireland wants to give us Irish passports very very much. 

Well, okay. Let's look into that. 

I crawled up to my room around 10, wiped out, ready for a deep sleep. 

No pictures today but we'll get some tomorrow. After a good night's sleep. 

Digits below. 

 

digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. missed 12 and 2 being in the car.  3 measurable walks . Hotel to hospital, 17 min/.82 mi. Hospital to Capital Ale, 19 min/.89 mi. Capital Ale to hotel, 12 min/.5 mi. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:
9am: 180
xpm: no afternoon reading
10pm: 171

food & meds:
9am: jardiance+phentermine
noon: atkins snack bar
2pm: some peanut m&ms, met+glip
6:30pm: some potatoes & sausage appetizer w/ cheese sauce; big huge steak salad w/bleu cheese; 2 beers
Hotel lobby, no exact times: 3 glasses of wine.
9pm:met+glip

61 day streak

Today we got our dishwasher hooked up. She ran on her maiden voyage and cleaned like a champ. She is beautiful. I may just cry a little. The handyman was awesome. He was here for almost two hours and we talked about screening in the porch in the spring. Oh my goodness, yes please. 

Funny thing about him, he told me he has 8 dogs. Two of them are brand new great dane puppies. I couldn't imagine. So no, Toffee was not annoying to him. He loved her. We had a great time. 

At one point when things were not going just right (the dishwasher flooded again, he thought the pump was broken but no - it was the positioning of the hose) he said to me "you're really easy going." It kind of made me laugh. I told him a long time ago I learned that nothing is worth freaking out over. There is always a solution, and we will get there. And we got there. I was satisfied.

"I've had people I worked for who would lose their minds over this," he said, "but I like how you're helpful and assisting me. You are right. We're giving it more than the old college try, and we'll get there."

I liked him. He'll be hired back for more things, I'm sure. 

Linda flew into Baltimore and we picked her up. Doug and I got a later start out the door than we intended but to be honest it was alright since she had to wait forever for her luggage. I was so happy he drove because I didn't sleep well last night, I don't see well in the dark, and some of the roads were difficult for me to see on the passenger's seat view. Happy to get to her, hug her, throw her in the car.

After the retrieval, we wanted to go downtown Ellicott City to Manor Hill Brewing because the beer is amazing and the food even more so, but we could not find a parking place anywhere. Nowhere. So we gave up and started to drive out of town. "Your loss, Ellicott City!" Doug yelled as we drove out of town.

We were willing to drive west for as far as we could until we saw the just right thing. For some reason, Doug started singing My Sharona when he saw a sign for a Schwarma restaurant.... "My my my my Sch-a-warma." That got stuck in all our heads. 

After a couple minutes driving west, we found the EC Diner, glowing like a chrome beacon on the side of the national pike. Hell yeah. Bang that U-ey Doug my may, and let's eat. 

It was Greek Night, and so I had the Lemon-Egg soup (so good) an open face gyro sandwich (too much rice, pitas were toasted too hard, but otherwise the meat and wee potatoes were delightful. And I got a dessert, which usually I'd eschew but. It was like baklava with a custard filling. Outstanding. I wish I remembered what it was called. It isn't on the menu on the website but I really enjoyed it.

Home, football, wine, toured the house with Linda so she could see it. I really wanted her to be my first house guest but it didn't work out. But she is here and I'm happy. 

We had time with Geoff which is fun. He was tired, and Doug started on the college courses thing with him. And I could tell Geoff didn't want to talk about it. I get it buddy. Let's talk in the morning. He needs to make a decision NOW so he doesn't miss another year of enrollment by missing the February deadline for his program. But we didn't need to talk about it tonight. 

At some point, I realized I only needed 1500 steps to 10k at about 11:15pm so I said do not break your streak, lady. Go do it. GO DO IT. It was cold out, very cold, but no wind. I can walk a ton in this weather. But you put a 5 mph breeze in my face and I'm out of here.

15 minutes later, done. Perfection. Playlist was the key. I even did the jogging thing (to "City Kids" by Karina Rykman, perfection).  I could have kept going but I wanted to hang out with the family. 

I feel like tomorrow and Sunday I'll have treadmill time at the hotel and I'm already looking forward to it.

Speaking of hotel... Tomorrow we head to Richmond. I spoke with my cousin Bill for a little while tonight after we got home. He's looking forward to spending time with us and he thought we were already in Richmond. Ope. Nope we are not.

He said John was asleep when he got to the hospital this afternoon, and that when he woke up he perked right up seeing his brother. He'll hopefully feel joy when he sees Linda, and well, maybe me too. And Doug, for sure. He likes Doug. They gave Billy a list of nursing homes to take a look at. One of John's friends is his medical proxy, so he's the decision maker and the two of them will hopefully be able to come up with a good decision for John's last place. Because that's truthfully what we're looking at.

Long day at work. But a lot of victories between getting that dishwasher all set and a successful run to the airport to retrieve Linz. 

More adventures tomorrow. No picture. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 10/12 hours. Missed 6 and 7 pm in the car.  10 min indoor walk between meetings. .53 mi. End of night quick walk, 15 min/.91 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime (61 day streak. boom)

blood glucose:

7:45am: 148
4pm: 93
11:45pm: 171

food & meds:
7:45am: jardiance+phentermine
10am: 2 blueberry muffins (to get them out of the way before they went bad)
2pm: atkins protein shake; met+glip and 2nd glip on accident because it got stuck to my finger, it is tiny. oops)
7pm: greek dinner, a bunch of stuff too much rice and too much dessert. one glass of wine
10pm: Metformin (no glip since I took it on accident at 2pm) 
white wine

Hey Baby I'm Your Handyman

It was a very busy day. We're on deadline to finish a number of help documents, and I'm way behind. I worked late tonight to get 3 done. 

I can think of ways that AI could just do this. I started working on these documents at 4pm. Stopped without being fully finished at 10. 

I have to rewrite a number of articles because terminology has changed, screenshots are 4 years old, it is a lot. Also, some of the articles are too wordy, or not explainey enough. It's hard for me to not create fake content about my dog or Guster. They both slip in sometimes. 

This song is stuck in my head now. Doug let me know we should contact a handyman to finish off the diswasher. 

He said "I tried three times..." And I had to correct him. No. You tried five. He said no, three. 

I counted off. The first one you did while I was out walking the dog. I came back and you tried again. Then a third time. Then you changed the hose to the old hose just to see if it would work and it didn't, and then a fifth time, where you had the dishwasher laying down on her face. Five.

So trying a sixth time would be the definition of insanity. He checked to make sure we had the right part and we do. So. Let's call a ringer in. 

Also, I pointed to the giant pile of freshly washed towels I was folding. This is the result of five attempts at running the water into the washer. Five.

With his agreement and "blessing," as it were, I called a guy my realtor recommended. She gave me a handyman (this guy) and a fully licensed building contractor for when we're ready to do the bathroom. 

He's coming over between 8-8:30am tomorrow. He seems just as charming as the wildlife guy who came out a few weeks ago. 

Seems to be the style in these parts. 

Hopefully he can get us ironed out tomorrow, before we go to Richmond. I don't really mind doing the dishes. It is somewhat relaxing. But I did four sinks worth today (and I didn't finish tonight's dinner dishes, I worked instead) so I'll do those in the morning, or hey - I'll load up that dishwasher for her maiden voyage! 

Wish us luck.

Okay. Tired. Digits below what my kitchen looked like last night (the counters are cleaned as is the stove). She is pretty and she is going to be fun.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. solo walk, 22 min/1.26 mi; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:15am: 170
4:45pm: 135
10:45pm: 84

food & meds:
8:15am: jardiance+phentermine
11am: bowl of mac&cheese and hamburger
2pm: Met+glip. turkey on 647 bread w/mayo and dollop of cranberry sauce
6pm: steak and egg fried rice by Geoff (really good!) 
9pm: met+glip; pita chips & hummus
red wine

The Snow and The Dishwasher

Sometime after 4am the snow started. We got a trace amount, but schools were closed and the region is paralyzed. 

I woke up at 2:30 and went down to the guest bedroom. Put on the podcast as usual, eventually fell back asleep. I had a bad dream and woke up thinking the chair in the hallway was a person standing there looking at me, so that was kind of a jolt. I was up fully as a result at 7. 

Because we were planning on the delivery guys coming at some point with the dishwasher, I wanted to get the laundry washed and I put it on. Started the coffee. Stood and admired the snow. Waited for miss Toffee to come downstairs to get her big outside surprise. 

And she was surprised. It was adorable.

The snow changed to rain around 8. And she hates the rain so there was no going off the porch for her. Happy to stand and look. Eventually she did go out and did her thing. 

One can hold it only for so long. I mixed up some blueberry muffins because I was up so early. Just because. Sorry, today's blood sugar.

Work was busy, some good meetings and discussions. I didn't get some of the help documentation things I wanted to get done, but I did close some old tickets that I didn't know why they were still open. Followed up on a few of them to find out the people still needed some help. Glad I asked on some of those old cases to see where things were.

Our dishwasher was delivered, and somehow it is stainless steel. Doug had ordered white, because he didn't want to have a stainless steel dishwasher, white stove, and white fridge. The fridge & stove work wonderfully so there is no need to replace them. 

He asked me if I was mad. I said no - I actually preferred the stainless and we had a whole big discussion about ordering that the other day. 

I asked him if he was mad and he said yes because he thinks we got the wrong parts to go with the dishwasher. Or. We got the right parts to go with the one we thought we bought, but it is the wrong dishwasher. 

I asked if he was sure he ordered a white one and he checked the order. Yup. He did. 

Okay then. I'm not mad and he's not mad enough to call and get it picked up and taken away. So 1/3 of the kitchen appliances will be stainless and we wait to see how long we go with the others. And tomorrow he'll figure out the parts.

To be honest here, friends, I'd love the fridge to go to the basement for keeping food for storage. Disconnect the icemaker, use the freezer, she runs exceptionally cold - we can keep food in there for a good long time that we don't need upstairs immediately. I'd be down with that. 

He said we're not in the market for a fridge at the moment, so I'll wait. Happily. I'll wait. 

I made homemade meatballs and pasta & sauce for dinner. Oh and my blueberry muffins were great. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 25 min walk with Toffee 1.4 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:30am: 120
4:30pm: 141
11pm: 159

food & meds:
7:30am: jardiance+phentermine
11:30am: english muffin w/pb & low sugar j
1:15pm: met+glip; zero sugar yogurt+granola bar
4:30pm: blueberry muffin
7:30pm: meatballs, pasta & sauce; another blueberry muffin
8:30pm: met+glip
9pm: blueberry muffin
white wine

Trip to Richmond

My cousin John is not doing well. 

Y'all know I spent time with him in the summer for his radiation and all that. Good news is the radiation shrank his tumor on his hip. Bad news is the shrinking tumor broke his hip. He messaged me repeatedly over the weeks saying how much pain he was in and how the doctors/hospital were not helping him manage his pain. They were not taking him seriously. I felt bad but there was nothing I could do for him but encourage him to keep at them. 

They didn't realize until late September when he had his follow up scans that his hip was broken. Uh, oops?

Well yeah. Good job, assholes. Someone give this guy some pain killers for fuck's sake. 

When he and I spoke last, it was a couple weeks after we'd moved in here. I'd been incredibly busy and exhausted. He'd text me and I'd either not reply or send back "i'm sorry to hear that," or something else simple. 

One day I took a break and called him. He let me know about the broken hip, and how he had been yelling at them about how much pain he was in, and they said "that's normal." So he felt wildly vindictively JUSTIFIED in his brutal anger at them when he let them have it. This is and was not normal. The fuck did you think, people?

Anyway... he was going to see an orthopaedic oncologist. Doug said they'd probably do a hip replacement. And I said well fuck? Why didn't they do a hip replacement in the first fucking place when he got a fucking tumor on his fucking hip?

I don't understand medical shit sometimes. I don't understand.

He said he had to go, his friend was there with dinner. He'd call me back. Anyway. I didn't hear back from him. 

Last week, his brother messaged the cousin group to say John had a perforated bowel, was going in for emergency surgery, and if he survived the surgery was not going to continue cancer treatments. He'll enter into palliative care instead. But to be honest, he should maybe be transitioning to hospice. Maybe that is exactly what it is. But for right now he's in the ICU.

So. 

That said.

Huh. 

When we last saw each other in July, it didn't end well. If you want you can go back and read about our final afternoon together. 

If you don't want to go back and read, the short version is I ended up leaving in a state of fury about shit he said. I still don't want to talk about it. A few people know what went down. But he and I never cleared the air on it. I wanted an acknowledgement and apology from him. Everyone who knows him that I've shared this with said he never will acknowledge or apologize. 

I have a couple choices - just forget that he said incredibly horrible racist (and other things) and move on with my life. I could bring it up and press it to see if he'd realize that he said horrible things that were super horrible. 

Or I could just ignore it and let it go. What good does it do?

I talked about this extensively with my best girl at work, someone I value as a best best friend. My work wife. My soul mate. Who happens to be black. 

She asked in July "If he called you and needed you, would you go to help?"

In July, I told her I didn't know if I would or not. 

So it is almost December, nothing is really different aside from the fact he is most likely going to die very soon. His brother went to visit him a couple weeks ago and said he didn't think he'd make it to Christmas and well, that's probably the best prediction of the truth there could be. None of us banked on a perforated bowel being the thing that would probably hasten the situation. But. Here we are. 

Linda is flying in on Thursday. She, Doug, and I will head to Richmond Friday morning. His brother will already be there, I think he's going down on  Thursday.  We'll get back up here Sunday and get Linda to the airport to go home Monday. A little bit of a whirlwind tour. Not what I imagined for her first visit to the new house.

To be honest, Doug thinks we're going to be too late. And sometimes Doug's medical intuition is spot on. But we'll see. We'll see. And if nothing else, we can maybe just help pack up his stuff in his apartment? 

I have boxes. So many boxes. I save boxes when the vast majority of folks will pitch them or recycle them. But I've got 'em. I was going to start collapsing them into each other for storage. Still can.

So that's the muppet update there with that whole scene. More later on things. Not a great picture but this was the last time the 8 of us were together. At gammy's funeral. Back in the day. I'm top left, John is next to me. He's half that size now. He'd be quick to mention that. "Cancer is a hell of a weight loss program."

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 10 min indoor walk between meetings/.46 mi. 20 minute outdoor freezing my ass off walk, 1.25 miles. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:15am: 140
5pm: 100
11pm: 110

food & meds:
8:15am: jardiance+phentermine
10:45am: english muffin w/pb & low sugar j
2pm: met+glip
2:45pm: 2 pieces of left over quiche (sausage, red pepper, goat cheese)
6pm: some sort of chicken and rice concoction with sauteed mushrooms (a la Geoff). Red wine.
9pm: Met+glip (almost forgot to take).