Writing on Sunday to get it posted and not inside the Sunday entry.
Kind of mad I didn't take a picture of the cranberry orange bread. I'll be making this again. The glaze was spectacular. I took half the loaf to John, and a stick of butter, and a bunch of Christmas cookies from CCC 25.
Doug and I headed down to Richmond before noon on Friday. Initially I was worried about the freezing rain that was happening at our departure but that was not a problem. People were.
I am beginning to loathe I-95 between DC and Richmond the way I hate the entire state of Connecticut. On paper, we've got a 3 hour trip from here, it should not take close to 6. I was the passenger princess and I was filled with such absolute rage.
We ended up ditching 95 after one of the rest areas near Culpepper, I think, and taking back roads down to Ashland where our hotel was.
It took us less time to get to our hotel than it would have if we stayed on the interstate.
Goddamnit, where are all these fuckers going and why are they in my way and it doesn't matter what day of the week or time of day, it is always like this. Virginia, why are you like this? I hate you.
Doug picked a hotel 10 miles from where John's nursing home is, thinking ah that's nothing. Nope. It's a half hour/45 min away easy. We were starving by the time we got down there, and Doug picked a fish restaurant off the internet on the way down to the nursing home. Turns out it is a restaurant inside Bass Pro Shops.
Alright. We're here. Okay.
Dinner was decent but so salty - SO SALTY. But I will say I've never ever had a nicer waiter. Twenty thumbs up for this guy. Huge tip. He asked if I made a mistake, and he was 100% honest.
Oh. No honey, we had a shitty day driving down here and you, my friend, you are worth it. Keep being you.
We had promised John we'd grab him some food, as he was craving fish & chips or fish tacos. It was super late, and we did not want to go into Downtown Richmond because those were the restaurants he wanted something specific from.
I'm nice, a very nice person, yes.... but at 7:50pm on a Friday night trying to go to the restaurants of his choice, your girl is not that nice. So I told him we had all day Saturday to bring him something.
Another thing he wanted was a milkshake, since Doug suggested it. So there is also a fudge and ice cream shop conveniently located inside the Bass Pro Shops too. How convenient! Got him a raspberry milkshake, and he was very happy to get that.
He said he can eat anything he wants, so people have been bringing him all sorts of snack foods and he has a stash of anything he could want to nosh on. But real meals make him very happy. And they do not serve milkshakes in the nursing home Add in my cranberry orange loaf and christmas cookies and he's got even more.
We got there and went down to his room, and we hung out until about 9 or so. They lock up everything at 8pm so no visitors can come in, and you have ask to be let out when you want to go. They were surprised we were there when they came in to check on him. We took that as a sign to go.
He's in really good spirits, frustrated by how the nursing home works and some of the nurses are Nazis. He repeatedly tells them not to tuck his sheets in, every damn day, multiple times a day, because he gets super hot and then he can't untuck the sheets and it makes him furious.
He doesn't understand why they don't listen to him. I told him it is probably protocol, to keep people from falling out of their beds but he thinks they're just Nazis who do not listen.
Short of kicking one of them in the face while they're doing it he feels like he has no repercussions.
The room he is in is a double, and the other guy has dementia or something. He keeps coming over to go through his stuff and take things. He took John's wheelchair cushion (prescribed by hospice since he has no bone in his left hip at all, so he needs it to be comfortable). So John got very mad, managed to get himself into a regular chair with wheels on it next to his bed and push himself out into the hall since no one answers the call button ever so he could start screaming for help.
He was full of gripes but also stories of the old days, from college, from Japan when he lived there, and history and all kinds of stuff.
To be honest, it was a nice visit and I didn't leave furious at him. Which is good. This is very good.
If he didn't have an ostomy bag, and no bones in his hip, he could probably live at home as long as there were no stairs. But there is literally nowhere for him to go. So. Nursing home palliative care it is until the next major thing fails. He goes septic (Doug said the further you get from what he went through before Christmas the longer you will last and not go septic, so he was happy to see John as good as he is), or if his cancer just kicks into high gear and takes him down.
Who knows how long. He is convinced that it will be months. Maybe he's right. Before Christmas I would have said no - he'll be gone in a week. But there you go. And here we are.
Saturday morning Doug and I got up and ready, and went over to John's old neighborhood for a walking tour of The Fan. We discussed where we should go, Oregon Hill, Church Hill, Hollywood Cemetery, downtown.... and we opted for The Fan. It's a super pretty neighborhood, and folks really do up their decorations for Christmas. There are dogs everywhere, and at one house, there were these lovely Basset Hounds, one by the gate who wanted pats and scritches that I couldn't get a picture of, and another that was just basking in the sunshine. Glorious and photogenic.
Normally I would have taken 900 pictures, but I was playing Pokemon, and I cant switch from game to camera without the game restarting (my phone, she is stupid?) so I focused on walking and gawking instead of photojournalism.
We did over 2 miles, and headed over to the restaurant where John wanted fish & chips from - Penny Lane.
It is directly across the street from the hotel I've stayed at a couple times in Richmond, but every time I've been there they have been closed. They were closed all week for the Christmas holidays and opened Saturday morning.
There was a soccer game on, Chelsea vs. Aston Villa (never heard of those guys!) and the bar was packed. We got the last 2 seater in the dining room, ordered our own fish & chips and got John an order to go. I had a hard time convincing the staff I wanted a lot of HP sauce and Malt Vinegar to go. Not just one little 2 ounce cup - give me more and I will pay for it. They... were stingy and a little weird.
He's getting a care package of a bottle of each since he loves them so much. I had no idea how happy they'd make him.
John considers himself a foodie, a fan of all the international food things. And to some extent yes he is. He loves to cook, and cook for others (sound familiar?) He used to call me and tell me how he was making seared scallops to put over a bed of parmesan orzo with spinach "because I think you are the only one who would appreciate this."
Before he got really sick.
Before all of this.
We took his food back to the nursing home, and he was absolutely thrilled. He said he's eaten three or four meals from the cafeteria there at all during his time. And this was sublime. He finished every last morsel. I could tell he was just overjoyed.
It was about 2pm-ish when we got there, after our walk and time at the restaurant and eating our own meal, and we wanted to be on the road by 4pm at the latest. So the visits were both on the short side of things. I kind of feel like if I went by myself I would have visited there with him longer. There would not have been an hour long walking tour of Richmond.
But it is exceptionally loving of my husband to want to come with me, to want to spend time with me, to find a walking tour for us to do so I can get my steps in (and boy, did I, and him too!). I'm forever thankful for him.
That, and he drove both ways.
So on the way back, again, Goddamn you 95 and all the people on it. Fucking holy shit get out of my way. Why are you doing 50 in the far left lane, asshole.
Your girl turns into a mass of fury on the road with these people.
We got to Rte 17 in Fredricksburg and bailed to come north that way. Surprisingly, it takes you all the way to I-81, in freaking Winchester, and you have to drive through West Virginia all the way over there, but 80 miles an hour vs. looking at the back of someone's truck nuts and Trump stickers for a thousand miles - I'll take it.
It was dark on 17, I'd love to see it in the daylight. We'll go down that way sometime.
We got home and Geoff had made dinner. Toffee was overjoyed to see us. And I love my house. I love my little house. I love coming home.
I didn't accurately record the food and digits, but, we did well. I think my 4pm reading on Friday was 90, which made me happy. I did a walk before we left on Friday that was about 1.77 miles. And our walk about in Richmond was 2.23 miles. Good times.
My cousin David is heading down Jan. 6th-9th. I'll miss on connecting with him. I'm glad he's going down. Staying at a hotel less than a mile from where John is.
Smart.
Sunday entry coming up next.
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