My Christmas Wish

I am having fewer Anna Nicole moments. Thank you for your kind thoughts and support

-- ooof. Fell over. Sorry.

Anyway.

The world is spinning less, and I'm able to sit for extended periods of time. I got slightly dizzy and nauseated last night while decorating our tree so Doug did the bulk of the decorating with the kids, and I sat on the couch and watched.

Aside from that, I've felt pretty okay since last I wrote. The medication seems to work really well at keeping me from that precipice plummeting sensation, but it isn't perfect. I wouldn't trust me to drive long distances, or to carry the cross walking into church (I usually do when there is no acolyte in attendance because I sit at the end of the choir pew). I'm good for a laugh, but I'm tiring easily.

Not the greatest place to be in for this busy time of year. We've got a house to clean, groceries to shop (aisles to dance up and down). My in-laws should be here sometime Tuesday. I need to call them today and have them make sure they are here in time for the pageant. I told them it was at 7:30, it's actually at 5. Ooops.

Blame it on the inner ear instability.

I also draw your attention at this time to last year's entry on or about this date when I paid homage to my sister. I wrote what I consider to be the most stirring piece of ass kissage in the history of American Literature, and you should all go read it. Now.

As for "What's The Deal" with us getting a tree on December 21, here's my theory:

1. We are lazy

2. We just aren't obsessed with doing stuff well in advance (ie, we are lazy)

3. We keep the tree up past Christmas Day. Ours stays up for a good week (month) after and we enjoy it for quite some time into the new year. We aren't like the wacky people who put their tree up the day after Thanksgiving and then yank the thing down at 7am the morning after Christmas.

4. The one year we got a tree early (Dec. 5th) all the needles had fallen off and the damn thing was teetering between fire hazard and uncomely eye sore on the scale of home decorations, so we just wait now. Normally we would have done it last weekend, but ... meh.

Thank goodness there were plenty of trees left at our local nursery. They had scads of $15 trees piled up, and we grabbed one. We also bought poinsettias because, after all, nothing says poison your household pets better than a poinsettia (all the poinsettias are far from Jack puppy's mouth).

Geoff hanging out with his new best friend.	I used the "macro" feature on my camera to take this one. I'm impressed.
Jessica, Queen of Christmas	Floorlights.
Doug stringing the lights up -- I used the night time feature of my camera to take this one, so he had to stand very still. His arm looks monstrously huge due to my perspective on this shot, but he's cute with them lights all around him...	And Geoff tested strings of lights for us. Again, low light feature on camera means Geoff sits veeeeerrrrrry still for mommy for this shot.

I'm done with Christmas shopping, amazed at myself for the accomplishment considering my dizzy condition. But we really don't over indulge this time of year. The kids are all set -- Doug and I aren't giving each other presents because hell, we bought the best truck in the universe last month, thank you very much.

But there is still a gift to give -- I want to address each of you who read me on a regular basis, friends and family alike.

I want to be able to give you something, but I have no money to hit your Amazon gift lists or send you scads of CDs of your favorite artists. Here is my short list of gifts and wishes I give (or WOULD give if I could) to the people I love:

Linda -- If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a K car, we'd eat more Kraft dinner, take a limousine to the store, we'd build a tree fort in my yard, green dress, some get some Art... you know.

But I wouldn't have to buy your love.

I'd just get the other stuff. And pay all your debt. And get you a gooooooooooood job. And a really nice boyfriend. With a big.... car.

Mom and Dad -- Seeing as we're doing Christmas with Doug's parents, you'll still be with me in my heart, and I'll remember the fun Christmases from my past with good food and good fellowship. I give you the knowledge that you don't have to cook for us or clean up the house this year... you can just relaaaaax.

And mom -- happy retirement. May you find something in 2003 that keeps you out of trouble, keeps you using your creative heart, and makes you happier than anyone deserves to be.

Amy -- I'd get rid of all the annoying crappy Christmas music and that crappy GAP scarf advertisement. Ooooooh, I deplore that one as well. Thank God for the mute button, I concur. And I'd give you full time money and benefits for part time work, so you can keep doing the Buford thing or whatever musical aspirations lead you to a passionate life. I'd make sure you could ALWAYS lead a passionate life and never want for it.

Taunia -- I'd guarantee Mr. X or any other man would never hurt you again. I'd kick all their asses. And I'd give you a win in that Jazz vocal contest. Word.

Tess -- I would so give you a naked Mr. Diesel ... and, and, and Peter Mulvey playing live for you while the aforementioned Mr. Diesel feeds you chocolate covered strawberries as you soak in a luxurious bath. And then we'd all leave while said Mr. Diesel puts Kiels products in your hair and all over your pretty face... that's where I leave it.

Chad and Remi -- Never ending health for your new babies, a great new job on the North Shore and a superbowl party at my house next year. Go Steelers!

Carrie -- Unrivaled and unparalleled success with your new business, happiness with Mark and Dogs, never having to dress up to impress someone (because they're already impressed) and the knowledge that you are one of the kindest souls around.

Elizabeth and John -- baby? hello? I wish for you a quick and easy labor. Especially if it has already happened and I haven't yet read my email. And may Mr. Gillis baby be the happiest, healthiest, dog loving baby ever.

Aaron and Michelle -- I would give you beer. Lots and lots of beer. Consumed beside an open fire on many starfilled nights while we crack each other up to the point where we just fall over, not from vertigo, but from happiness. You guys are our best pals -- I want to give you a lifetime worth of that, all at once. With some of the million dollars I give to my sister up there, green dresses and John Merrick's remains included.

Annie -- I wish you healing -- go visit your sister's grave. Have a hell of a fabulous 2003, please. I want you to have so much peace, love and happiness and I wish I could cram that in an envelope and send it to you.

Bonnie, Duncan and Chloe -- I wish for you more of the ongoing happiness that is blessing your little family, with no troubles, strife, sorrow or fear. And belly zerberts for Ms. Chloe... meaning we must totally spend more time together in 2003.

Smitty -- I would give you an A in all your graduate school classes. And never make you take a test. Or write a paper. Unless you could incorporate the phrase "corpsing through his veins" in one of the sentences. And I'd give you cool bosses. No more of these boss-jerks that you've had through your work history. Cool bosses rule.

Chris and Chrissy -- May Scranton be conquered by your unequaled intelligence, brilliance and wits, bowing before Chris' pen and Chrissy's webmastering. All hail the king and queen of kellyburgh.

Rupa -- If I could, I would give you the greatest job ever. One where your boss is kind and treats you like a queen. I would also take the things that trouble you and worry you -- and I would make you be at peace and be happy.

---

Finally...

Here's where I get religious on you. You can stop reading if you don't want to hear this, but I'd rather you read through. Stick with me here kids.

I've long held the opinion that Christmas isn't supposed to be a happy time. I echo many of Amy's recent screeds against rampant consumerism in the name of Jesus being the Reason for the Season.

If you believe in Christ, Christmas should be marked as a sad event in human history. The time of joy is Easter -- the triumphant Resurrection of Jesus, instead of the kind of sad and scary beginnings of his life.

The fact that God sent His Son into the world and did it in such a way that he became human, learned about what we go through, shared happiness and sadness with real people, fought against what was wrong with society, and then suffered a horrible painful death, that's not a happy thing to celebrate. It is something we should mark with an ominous thanks, with humble hearts.

Marking this amazing gift, we as a culture have become absolutely consumed with the inability to even match such a concept. So we have to give each other Lexuses wrapped in bows, or three tiered diamond pendants from Kay Jewelers. We can't compare, we can't give back, so we ignore the Giver, turn to each other and painfully overdo in a rather vain and selfish way. Embracing the reality that God has shown an amazing kind of love for us, that He'd become us to learn more about us, to eventually die for us, is a pretty sobering concept.

Meditating on the Christ child in lowly manger laid, his mother, a girl visited by an angel and given the news (she could have said no, you realize. Mary had a choice. She could have told Gabriel to take a hike. But she complied with the message. Accepted. And lived a life that she never expected she'd lead) -- I accept the news, the event, the reality.

I believe.

I welcome the gift, although I realize what kind of life the man lived, the kind of death he suffered.

I believe.

And I appreciate.

Whether or not you feel the same way or not is your decision. If you feel that God in whatever form you believe Him/Her to be blesses you, take a moment this year and do nothing but say thank you for the gift of your life.

And let me give you this gift, accept it if you want:

I would die for each of you the way Christ died for each of us.

I would shoulder your burdens and give you all the money in the world if I had it to give.

I will pray for each of you, support you, email you hugs when you feel like dreck.

I will be to you the best witness I can when I'm not being a snarky and whiny brat.

If you embrace my wishes for you, do me a favor and return the gift to me by being that to others.

Merry Christmas.