And Geoff is 15

"It's just another Saturday. It's a nothing day. There is nothing special about today."

Geoff is a little annoyed. None of his friends (he doesn't have very many) wanted to go out to dinner and do something fun with us tonight. "15 alone" was what he announced today would be. I met him by the Playstation this morning, and he was slumped over, playing halfheartedly, and didn't want to do anything at all.

At least we'll go out for dinner. We'll have a nice time. I'll take you to Gamestop to get some new games with your birthday money.

"No. It isn't worth it." He swung his sword on screen with little or no attention or effort.

I feel badly. I've confessed here year after year that I suck at planning a birthday event for him. Last year we took one of his friends to see Avatar in 3D. But this year it seems like there are fewer people that care to spend time with him. I try to explain to him that he sends out a vibe that says "Fuck you" to people so it is no wonder no one wants to spend time with him. "You need to work on being a better friend, that way people want to be with you."

He feels it is useless and worthless, that he's lost faith in everyone, and that 2012 sucks, his birthday sucks. Everything sucks.

Having Aspergers or NLD (like he does) makes it hard to relate to people at all, and makes social living a near impossibility at times.

We went to Gamestop and bought games. We went to The Grill Next Door and he had a great time there. We thought about going to GoKarts in Haverhill but he wants to do that with a friend some other time. I'm thinking of trying a Summer Unbirthday party for him this year.

Happy Birthday Geoff. I can't believe you are 15 years old. I wish I could give you all the friends you need to make you happy. But all I can do is be the mom that does her best for you.