Cookie Day Part One - the Jess Edition

Doug wanted to go to the bank and deposit our christmas gift money from his mom. We had a brief discussion about how I think it is rude to do that before the 25th, but he wanted it deposited so he could do some wheeling and dealing with his E-trade thingie ASAP. Okay. Alright. Let's go.

We went to the bank and it was a gorgeous day for driving around. We need dog food soon, so he suggested we go to Target. 

The road to Target was completely clogged, the parking lot was a joke, we drove around the loop road and just laughed. "She has enough food for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow..." We got the hell out of there.

Geoff is going in the morning. 

I mean hell, they are open now, I could go, but. Meh. I don't feel like leaving the house again after our excursion and I also went out and picked up the chinese food because I thought Doug was going but he was on the phone with his mom. 

And the boy is willing. Use that energy.

Jess came over shortly after we got back from our attempt to shop. Doug took a nap while watching football. We decorated cookies and chatted for a couple hours. They left to head back and feed the dogs (responsible dog sitter that they are). We had a shitload of fun. Saturday is when S, S, and H will come over and we'll do it all over again. I have to prep more dough, and bake more. 

But now I'm in the mood and this will be fun.

I only have two meetings tomorrow, one at 2 and one at 4. I will probably pound out some cookies by noon. I feel like I need 3x the amount of cookies Jess and I decorated for this. Gonna be so fun. 

Digits below. I should take a nice picture of the pile of cookies we did, but. they're in the other room and I'm in here...

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk, too busy, 5k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 163
5pm: 174
9:45pm: 211 

food:

coffee/water
11:30am: turkey, cheddar, and bacon quesadilla on 2 low-carb wraps (they were small)
12: Metformin
6:30pm: chinese food: 3 pan fried dumplings, 1 spring roll, general tso's chicken, sesame beef, a bit of lo mein
7pm: metformin+jardiance
8pm: 2 of the tiny cut out star cookies (blue w/sprinkles
vodka tonic (zero sugar tonic) with splash of low sugar cranberry juice

Decent Day

Jess was up at 7, so I heard the making of Toffee's breakfast and adorable chit chat, so I came out and made coffee. 

We chatted for a while and they had to go to the house sitting gig. I missed them after they walked out the door. I sent a picture of Toffee, and they sent pictures of the dogs they're sitting for. 

So I decided to make cookies while no one else was up yet. Not the cut out cookies I need to make, but Doug had gotten some peanut butter chips recently, and I decided to make him the recipe on the bag. Only I winged it. I added cocoa powder and chocolate chips too, and a scoop of peanut butter to really round it out. 

They came out round, so I pressed them down with the spatula, hence the lil circles on them. I didn't eat any but Doug said they are wonderful. 

We watched some football, and Doug snoozed a bit. So I went to the gym. I chatted with Linda (it's her birthday today) and then I chatted with C after I got some groceries. 

The Steelers game looked like it was going to be awesome, but then they blew it. After dinner (Geoff cooked for us) I started making those cut out cookies, finally. Jess is going to come over tomorrow and we're going to do a mini-decorating session. I had a double batch of dough, and didn't get a whole big ton of cookies out of the deal so I have to make more dough tomorrow I guess. But we have a good start. A nice start. 

I would have made more dough but the things for the mixer and my favorite bowl were in the dishwasher. So I cleaned up after the first wave was done. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 30 min/1.25 mile walk on the treadmill at the gym. 8800+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:30am: 205
5pm: 170
10:30pm: 156 

food:

coffee/water
11:30am: english muffin w/pb & jelly; metformin
2:30pm: 3 baby bell cheeses
6pm: piece of chicken parm; metformin+jardiance
white wine

Get the things done

It was a surprisingly busy work day but also dull. Without client meetings, I have work I can indeed do but I kind of languish about doing it. I have a QA project that will keep me busy on Monday and Tuesday, and maybe two client meetings to just chat, and one that will be project related. 

I reported out to the entire digital staff an update of how many are done. November 26th we were at 14 clients and today, 36. I've come a long way, but I'm super happy my sysadmin is on the calls in case he catches something big. And today I was the one that caught something big "she doesn't want to paste it in with her URL at the end, because the dashboard is going to put it in for her." 

Yes. Chris is right! 

I changed the bed sheets in the guest room, washed the big blanket, the area rugs, the shower curtain, cleaned the toilet, cleaned the sink. Basics. Didn't vacuum. Ha. 

Doug went to the market for me at 5:30pm because I'd asked Geoff to get all the makings for a baked ziti the other day and he failed at it (oh, ricotta?) yes ricotta. So I wanted to have dinner here for when Jess arrived. They got here at 7:45pm, which was so much earlier than the last time they traveled down. Traffic was easy going for them. 

We had a nice sit and we watched a canadian comedy called Less Than Kind. The first episode didn't do anything for me but it got better, and funny, but sometimes feels like an After School Special from the 70s when one character's family dynamic turns sad. Everyone is trying to help each other out. It's nice. 

I thought about baking muffins at 10, and then thought better of it. Just go to bed without eating some sugar, Chris.

Toffee went to bed with Jess because of course she did. 

In the morning, Jess is heading over to house sit in Virginia, but we'll see them again. Hopefully they will bring the dogs over too! 

digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 25 min. indoor walk, 8k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 174
4:30pm: 134
11:30pm: 144 

food:

coffee/water
12:30pm: Metformin, roast beef on 647 white bread w/mayo
6pm: red wine
7:45pm: metformin+jardiance, baked ziti w/garlic parmesan bread
more red wine with Jess 

Red Wine and Oatmeal Cookies

Today my boss had us all scheduled for a 4pm team meeting. He thought better of it and canceled at 3, thank God. I shut my computer. I needed a not-work thing to do.

I loaded the dishwasher, tidied up the bathroom, pondered the laundry. Instead, I took the dog for a walk. She was bananas energetic, she gets this way in the afternoon, and usually Doug will come up and get her for a walk around 4pm while I'm still working. But he is doing some end of year stuff and worked until 6. 

So it was up to me, and 48 degrees, so. Very tolerable and good for just a sweatshirt.

Usually I don't like walking her alone. She's big and strong and she walks like she has no idea how to keep in a lane. Swerving back and forth in front of me. I sometimes can get her to heel, after maybe 10 minutes and she starts to mellow out. And I can't walk her and play Pokemon at the same time. 

It was a short walk, we ran into our mailman Dave and she was absolutely overjoyed to see him. He carries a lot of dog treats so he stood there feeding them to her and laughing. 

Trying to control her hurt my shoulder so I called the walk short. I was going to do another block up and around but. Feh. 

Ouch. Now I'm sore. 

That's about it. I had two really nice meetings with very fun clients today, not related to the project. Tomorrow, I have 2 project meetings. I really hope my sysadmin is coming. 

I feel confident about things but not 100% confident. ya know? 

Digits down there.  This time tomorrow, God willing, Jess will be here. I have something not work related to look forward to! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  15min/.75 mile dog walk. 7200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 170
5pm: 168
11pm: 246 

food:

coffee/water/tea
11am: english muffin w/pb & bonnie maman's cherry preserves
noon: metformin
2pm: the last of the left over beef stroganoff (no noodles, a bout a cup worth)
6pm: kielbasa, pierogies, peas
7:30pm: metformin+jardiance
8:30pm: the last 3 oatmeal cookies, red wine+zero sugar ginger ale

A Temporary Cookie Festivus Hiatus

On Sunday we were supposed to have our big cookie decorating party, this the Year 3 of our new tradition together. You know cut out cookies is something I love doing every year, if you read this blog. But, Sara and her family have to make an emergency trip to Ohio for a family member, so we are going to reschedule. 

Entry from 2023
Entry from 2022
Entry from 2021 (before Sara and Fam came onto the scene, and my write up of Dave F. Yonkman and how I didn't get him cookies in time)

I feel like this is good, it is a relief. For a number of reasons. One is my level of energy and motivation are in the crapper.  I don't feel like doing the baking just yet. I know I could kick it into high gear on Saturday if I had to. Jess is coming this weekend and maybe we'll do a mini-decorate before they have to go house sit on Saturday. Or maybe they'll come back here on Sunday. I need to find out if they're coming over here from Virginia for Christmas dinner. I hope they do.

It's also kind of good too because I need eyeballs, you know, for reindeer and gingerbread men, and if the grocery store doesn't have them when I send Geoff there tomorrow, I can order them online to arrive .... after Sunday. 

Sara came by for a quick visit tonight to give me some of her cat shaped cookie cutters and chat about her trip. I'll need to go feed the cats and collect any boxes delivered to the porch so porch pirates don't steal Christmas while they are away. 

She lives next to the gym so. hmmm. Maybe I'll stop saying I will go and actually go. 

Today I did a client call for the project by myself and I'm thrilled that it went perfectly and wonderfully. What a relief. Even though he was off today I slack messaged my sysadmin to squeeeeeeee that I did it.

I woke up at 3am and didn't fall back asleep until 6, but I messaged my team that I was going to be late, and I really was only a half hour late.

Tomorrow will be similar to today. I have no client project calls, I have emails to send, I do have a call with a client that isn't related to the big project so that will be a refreshing break. Talk about something different. 

And that's about it for today. digits below. Hopefully a more energetic tomorrow. Yay.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk, pouring rain. 5k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 193 (thanks, last night's oatmeal cookies)
5pm: 200
10pm: 239 ( will test again before bed. this seems high for what I had for dinner?) 

food:

coffee/water/tea
11:15am: english muffin w/pb and bonnie maman's cherry preserves
12:30: Metformin
2pm: 3 oatmeal cookies 
5pm: protein shake
6:30pm: chicken soup by doug, with heavy cream (very good) orzo, carrots, red onions, a toasted bagel w/parmesan cheese
7:30pm: Metformin+jardiance

That's a 2025 Problem

Sorry no post yesterday, I started to write at 10:30pm and just felt it was way smarter to go to bed. The last thing I wanted to do was have my laptop in my lap and be typing, after doing it for so many hours. 

I'll be pumping the brakes on the big project here for a little bit. Two days this week my sysadmin is out, and I'm not doing calls without him. nope. And then I'm taking some time off. I've got 3 calls today, 2 on Friday, and one on Monday of next week. Then, 2025. 

Looking at my calendar and seeing so much open space for two whole days this week made me giggle with joy. 

I love getting through each of these meetings, I love moving people from In Progress to Completed. I love when it works and when it is successful. I love seeing those numbers fall from one side of the spreadsheet to the other side. It's a great feeling of accomplishment. The task itself has been a monumental beast, though. And even my sysadmin has been flummoxed by a couple of these situations.  If he's flummoxed... you know it is bad. 

He's also slowly revealing a fantastic sense of humor. He's very soft spoken, and I haven't heard him crack a lot of jokes or say anything weird. One of our clients had a particularly long set of requisites for the thing we're doing. It's called a Zone file. I said "wow, this is a lot." And he said "yeah, it's not a zone file, it's an OZONE file," and I didn't get it. So he had to explain it to me that it stretches up into space it's so long. 

That kind of killed me. I treasure him.

Anyway. It's tiring and I'm tired, and it makes my brain hurt. Every day I say "you really need to go to the gym, walk the dog, do something different. Bake the damn cookies you made dough for. Do it. And then I turn into a slug. Just like Randy in "A Christmas Story" .... Randy laid there like a slug. It was his only defense. 

This morning I was tempted to just sleep in. My boss is traveling, and so I knew no one would miss me. But Tuesday is trash day and the trucks were all around my neighborhood starting at 8am. Toffee was snuggled up behind my butt, if it was quiet, it would have been the perfect recipe for extended snoozin'... I got up and our big boss messaged me, she had some questions in his absence and wanted to run one by me. Thankfully I was up, and she doesn't like cameras on when we slack or zoom so she didn't see my mess of a self that I am. 

I wrapped up all my calls by 3:30pm, and I had made oatmeal cookie dough during lunch. I wanted to make peanut butter, but we're out of butter. I need a run to the store, I guess. Also, out of flour okay. So. Oatmeal it is. 

Doing the cookies was relaxing and took my mind off things, even if I shouldn't be eating cookies. 

I have been listening to Doug on end-of-year conference calls with teams where he works. it sounds like so much. When I feel like I don't know what I am doing, I then listen to him and I'm like yeah, wow. No.

We had a nice night of me not working. Eating cookies I made, which are better than any oatmeal peacan cookies ever should be ever. 

Jess sent Toffee a gift of 3 kerchiefs from Wilderdog, so I put one on her. What a sweet and loving gift. She's gorgeous in them. Jess picked lovely patterns, and I love all 3. Here's one. 

Digits below. 

Tuesday digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 7pm because I was loading the dishwasher. 10min solid walk in the house while dinner was cooking.  6k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 178
4pm: 180
10pm: 183 

food:

coffee/water
12:30: metformin; turkey & bacon on low carb wrap
6pm: chili w/fritos, cheese sour cream...  Metformin+jardiance
7pm: 3 oatmeal cookies
white wine

Monday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk, 5k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 163
5pm: 196
11pm: 181 

food:

coffee/water/tea
noon-ish: tuna melt, tuna w/celery, pepper jack cheese, sour dough bread. metformin
5:30pm: bowl of mac & cheese w/bacon
6:30pm: metformin+jardiance

Out of Sequence

Today I felt like the day was out of sequence and odd. I slept in a bit. I did a few clean/tidy things and got the cookie cutters out of the basement. I mixed up the dough for the sugar cookies, and will probably do another batch or two. I didn't start baking more cookies because we are almost out of flour. I almost went to the store but got distracted because I was looking for something for Geoff and then it was too late. I can have him stop tomorrow. This is the time of year when I say "please buy 4 boxes of butter" I am not joking. 

Doug took Toffee for a walk but it was way to cold again so I didn't go with. I thought about the gym but needed to do some more tidying, so I did laps again while cleaning. Didn't get as much cleaning done as I had hoped but the laps around were good. I can do over a mile in 25 minutes boom like that. I found some bracelet supplies I'd bought this summer with Linda, and I somehow forgot where I stashed them. I found some Christmas cards I bought last year at Target. Geoff needed a stamp, so I found stamps. 

Thinking about what to have for dinner, I realized we still had the pork loin that Geoff bought and cooked a week ago. If it wasn't going to go to waste I needed to do something about it. So I got the food processor out, and shredded the pork loins. They kind of came out perfect - some big pieces and some super shreddy pieces. Mixed together it was just right. Plopped a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's on it, put it on low on the stove and went to play D&D.

Tonight's game was hilarious, and we had a lot of laughs. I always say it is the best 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon on a not-regular basis I get to spend. One of our players is getting married very soon so we had to fudge her character a bit and sent her on a "side quest" that we all declared she did well at, and I went to "get" her before we left where we were. 

Anyway, I didn't take a 4:30ish pm glucose because I was playing D&D and forgot. Then I realized after dinner that I forgot to take my lunch time-ish pill. So everything is slightly out of order with me and my meds. 

I have a very early meeting tomorrow with clients in Alaska. My buddy on the product team set it up at their request, 4am their time. Ugh! At least it won't be 4am my time that we're meeting. There's something to be thankful for. The alarm is set and I can't just snooze it and ignore it. Big busy day tomorrow and Tuesday, but Wednesday and Thursday should ease up a touch. My sysadmin is off those two days, so it is best I do my meetings with the clients with him by my side. 

Alright - that's that. I'm going to bed even though there is still football on. Tired. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  25 min/1.13 mile indoor walk; 7500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 174
xpm: n/a forgot to take reading
9:30pm: 257* (note time of food, and medication. Will test again in a few hours)   

food:

coffee/water/tea
11am: english muffin w/pb&cherry preserves
6:25pm: 2 BBQ pork sliders w/pickle slices on kings hawaiian rolls, a couple french fries
7pm: big slice of some Italian christmas cake thing that my office sent me (nuts, sugar, kind of like a raisin bread with no raisins. Tasty but ... I only ate it because it is a gift. Doug and Geoff can finish it)
7:30pm: realized I'd forgotten my daytime metformin, took the usual dinner metformin+jardiance
9:45pm: took the 2nd metformin because the blood sugar is so high (and I'll forget to take it if I go to sleep ...) 
white wine and zero sugar ginger ale

Oh nothing

I didn't feel like doing an entry last night and I don't feel like doing one today. I'm kind of burned out overall.  Today we thought about doing things out in the world, but. Meh. It is super cold out. For around here. As of this writing it is 30 degrees. No wind, thankfully. But brrrrrr. 

Last night was my office holiday party, and I was talking to my work bestie and she asked if I was going. I told her I didn't feel like it. 

"Oh that's not very you of you," she replied.

She's right. I'm not very me. I'm just tired. 

I really thought about it, though. My co-worker Josh got sick yesterday afternoon and he had RSVPed, so he told me I should just go in his place. Then, I realized that I'd actually have to go on the metro and walk around town to get to the office. So I ... didn't. 

Sort of regret it, it's always a really really good party. And there were a ton of co-workers from out of town there. And I like them. And miss them. 

Doug did some yardwork today that needed done. He cleaned up some broken pottery that the dogs knocked over when they were playing back in November. I was going to glue them together as a project in the spring but he pitched them. While he worked, I watered the plants and added extra steps. Loop loop loop. 

We watched a very interesting Wes Anderson collection of short stories by Roald Dahl on Netflix. I enjoyed it very much. 

That's about it. Here's the moon looking like she could be one of the lights on our string. She's clever like that. Ignore the reflection, and the white looking lights are actually yellow. 

Saturday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 30 min/.80 mile. indoor walk while watering plants and putting things away. 6200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 140
5pm: 164
10:30pm: 185   

food:

coffee/water/tea
9:30am: English muffin w/ pb&j
1:30pm: metformin
6pm: 2 frozen burritos w/ salsa, cheese, sour cream
white wine & ginger ale

Friday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 12 minute/.5 mile walk with the dog (super cold out); 7k steps by bedtime  

blood glucose:

8am: 159
5pm: 168
10pm: 190   

food:

coffee/water/tea
12:30pm: metformin; turkey soup
6:30pm: kielbasa and pierogies; metformin+jardiance
8pm: slab of banana bread
white wine+ginger ale

Crisis of Capability and Imposter Syndrome

I had a mini-meltdown today. 

I went into the day with a bunch of client calls, and my sysadmin was not on the first call. And I should not have gone forward without him but. I felt confident. I ... can do this! Yay!

Everything broke. The client contact was super nice, we rolled shit back but the internet can take a half hour or more to back pedal, and the website disappeared entirely. And I felt completely shitty. 

We regrouped an hour later with my sysadmin and went through the process again and this time it worked flawlessly. We didn't do anything different but the Dashboard did not throw errors at all. Things flowed just fine, all because my colleague was there. Right? This was one of those take the noisy car to the mechanic and it doesn't make the noise .... because the .... mechanic is there. 

I struggled today. I really did. I had this meltdown in a Slack channel at work and I poured my heart out and asked for people to send me good vibes and little emojis to make me feel better. 

And my people showed up for me. I got emoji responses, and direct messages. One of my very favorite people told me not to let any of this shit stress me out, she once took down one of our products for two days. Two. Days. So she told me that if she can survive that, and not get fired, I can survive this and not get fired. She also told me very personal things about how she used to be a junkie, before she worked here, talked her way into this job, and I have to say she's one of the smartest and most talented people I know.

I felt small and stupid compared to what she's been through. For sure, this one thing sucked but it was a half hour of suck and it wasn't really me but the fucking DNS Dashboard that shit the bed. 

When I reached back out to the guy to try again he was all "hell yeah." and we did it. He emailed me later saying he couldn't have done that without me. 

This project has been a lot. My boss has my back. My work bestie keeps telling me how hard I am killing it. But still. I feel like I shouldn't have the keys to this car some days. I should just go sit down and let someone smarter and more talented do this. 

But it's mine. My project. And we'll survive it. We will. 

As you can see below, my people came to love me. And I felt it. Tomorrow is a new day. I only scheduled one call, and that client is one I trust to be able to do all the things and it will be good. 

Maybe I'll go to the gym .... maybe. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   no walk. 5k by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 168
5pm: 198
11pm: 149   

food:

coffee/water/tea
12 noon: metformin; english muffin w/pb and cherry preserves
2pm: low carb wrap w/ 5 pieces of bacon, turkey, mayo
7pm: metformin+jardiance; roast chicken, mashed potatoes, stove top stuffing, carrots
vodka and seltzer (zero carbs!)

Hidden Carbs

Yesterday I made a banana bread and ate a big ass slab of it late in the evening because it was hot out of the oven, and perfect. It was so good. I was stunned when I took my blood sugar, considering I was pretty darn low carb for the day. Did the banana bread really rock my world that hard? 

Yiiiiiikes. 

Today, I worked and worked and lots of meetings, and a good hour long chat with my work bestie. And I decided more vodka tonics at 7pm. 

We usually use diet tonic which has zero carbs but Geoff bought regular tonic and I said, yeahhhhhhhh. I'll use the regular tonic. Last night I had 3. 

Tonight I went to make a cocktail and I looked at the back of the bottle, where it says 35 grams of carbs/sugar. 

Jeeeeeesus. Okay, so last night right before bed, I had about 90 grams of carbs. And a slice of banana bread. No wonder my glucose was so high. 

And tonight, yeah. I did use the tonic again but no banana bread and only 2 drinks. Sending Geoff to the market to get freaking diet tonic tomorrow. 

If doug hadn't had all the zero sugar ginger ale I would have finished the wine instead. 

Anyway. 

The unintended consequence of the regular tonic. 

This morning was hard to get started for me. Actually no, it started but early. Doug's office does all staff meetings at 7am so doctors and nurses going off duty and those coming on can all attend. His alarm went off, and I got up to pee. The dog got up too. But did not want to go out and pee because it was raining and super cold. I wondered how long she'd last. 

I fed her, Doug went to work, and it was 6:45am, man. 

I was awake but. The weather. No. Back to bed. Cozy. Cuddles with the dog. Fell asleep and had my alarm set for 8:50. Another two hours of zzzzz and it was worth it. I got up and Toffee was absolutely not wanting to get up. And it was tempting to bypass the rest of the morning but I went. It was a busy day and I made a lot of progress. I wrote a request for my colleague V to get a "spot bonus" for the work he is helping me do. We'll see if he gets it. 

Right then. Bed. With this girl. 

Tuesday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  no walk, 5k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 166
5pm: 145
11pm: 236 *   

food:

coffee/water/tea
10:30am: English muffin w/pb
11:30am: Metformin
2:30pm: tuna melt on 647 bread
6pm: Chicken Parm w/sauce
7pm: Metformin+jardiance
8pm: slab of banana bread
Vodka tonic

Wednesday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  no walk; 5500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 198
5pm: 199
10:45pm: 175  

food:

coffee/water/tea
9am: slab of banana bread
11am: turkey+roast beef w/2 slices of cheddar on 647 bread
6:30pm: small bowl of beef stroganoff w/a little bit of noodles; metformin+jardiance
Vodka tonic

Cracked

Doug's mom has given us a lot of glassware over the years, including a really funky cool pitcher that we use all the time for powdered drink mixes and sun tea. 

I usually hand wash it but it looked blah and gross so I put it through the dishwasher. 

Geoff set it on the dining table after unloading the dishwasher this morning, and I saw this giant crack in the glass when the sun hit it just right. 

I'm sad.

I really liked this pitcher! What a bummer. I showed Doug and apologized because I didn't realize it wasn't a dishwasher safe buddy. He said it was okay. His mom probably has more of these, not exactly like this one, but, he's right.

Anyway, today was an incredibly busy day with 4 big project meetings with the clients. 2 were very successful, one was just a chat, and the other was a failure. That's okay though. The client knows what he needs to do and we'll regroup. 

Digits are down below. I don't have a good horizontal pic to separate the digits and the words here.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk, prepping dinner took that time. 5100+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:00am: 188
5pm: 160
10:30pm: 157  

food:

coffee/water/tea
11am: metformin; bowl of Mac & Cheese w/bacon
2pm: turkey sandwich w/mayo on 647 italian
6:15pm: metformin+jardiance; slab of chicken parm w/pasta sauce
vodka tonic w/lemon

Are you ready to rock?

There are things I wish my kids had accessible to them when they were ten. 

My friend Henry is about to turn 10 and he has been taking piano lessons for years, and has recently started up with a rock music program in our city. Today was the big showcase. Some kids played New Wave and 90s grunge (Rio by Duran Duran, Cannonball by the Breeders). Henry's group played 6 songs and he and another little boy traded off on keyboards. 

Henry's songs were Paranoid by Black Sabbath, Come Together by the Beatles, and TNT by AC/DC. He was great. You could really hear him playing, and in these cases the "real" students are the guitar, bass, and drums but. Hen stole the show. If we are fb friends, the video is up there of the end of Paranoid when everyone is just whipping on their instruments, and it is worth the view.

His teacher let him get on the mic at the start, because he wanted to yell "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?" to the audience. So he got to do that, and then went to do it again for the second song, which was hilarious. 

Hen, everyone continues to be ready and prepared for ongoing rock. you don't need to ask us. Sara was semi-mortified, his teacher was very caring and loving and pointed him back to his keyboard station. 

It all reminded me a little bit of the Shakespeare camp days when the kids were young. I'm feeling wistful and nostalgic while having TNT bounce around in my head. 

I really wish there had been something like this, especially for Geoff. He would have been great. There are things available to kids now that he didn't have, and things available to kids now that I'm absolutely relieved he didn't have access to. Suffice to say, a rock and roll music school would have been fun.

Doug went with me and I am thankful for that, because it gets dark early, and getting home was complicated. Lots of accidents and the GPS put us on mysterious back roads in areas of DC I've never seen. 

He seemed to have a genuinely good time.  

I had a lot of beer and pizza today, and that's carbtastic, my 9pm blood sugar is astounding. Before I go to bed, I'm trying to counteract that a little with some protein, and I should take myself for another walk. The boys are watching football in the living room, so I can't just do the walk around the house thing. It's too late to drive up to the gym (and I've had some beers) and too dark to go out walking in the neighborhood. Hopefully in an hour or so my blood sugar will come down some. 

I'm happy I didn't book any meetings for the morning. I'll ease into the day. Glad we went out to support our young musician buddy. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 15 min indoor walk, 7100+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 187
xpm: n/a no reading 
10:30pm: 238  

food:

coffee/water
11am: english muffin w/pb Metformin
2pm: 2 beers, chips & salsa
4pm: 2 beers, pizza w/ sausage (spicy!)
5:30pm: metformin+jardiance
6:30pm: apple & pb
8:30pm: several slices of turkey, protein shake 

Leaving the house adventure weekend

This afternoon Doug and I went to DC to a brewery we've been meaning to visit. Note to self, it is easier to get there on the red line and walk the half mile from the stop... Driving in DC is an absolute nightmare, and it is no wonder I don't go into town often. 

We took the dog, it is a very Dog Friendly brewery. We thought we'd chill in a corner and have a few beers. Soak up the vibe. But. There were 2 kids birthday parties, and a yankee swap for an office. And a million people thinking like us. The place was jam packed. 

We could have found a seat if we didn't have the dog with us, it was just too tight and busy and she was very over stimulated by kids and noise and people. She did pretty well though while we were indoors but we went out on the patio. Disappointingly, all the patio seats and tables were cabled up and locked, so ... we stood out there and had two beers while our dog investigated the area. Thankfully, it was in the low 50s/upper 40s, no wind, and it was not an uncomfortable hang. I wore my winter coat because I thought maybe we were going to go for a walk... but we spent less than an hour there.

I wanted to go ask if they could unlock some patio seats so we could chill, but, because I have mercy and can read a room, I knew the staff was up to their noses in slinging beer. Instead I walked around and bused tables for them. I ended up with a free beer and lots of love from the three people tending the taps. If there was seating there, we would have stayed longer.

We headed home as it was getting dark. Leaving the brewery and looking to the west, the sky was amazing. Cameras don't do this justice, unless you put it through filters, and filters are lies. 

We got home and Doug made dinner. We used the last of the orzo (apologies to my chef friend, but. It was still good), the last of the cranberries, and he put three chicken breasts in a mess of seasoning in the oven. Geoff got home (this is one of his two weekends to work this month) and we relaxed. 

Tomorrow is a big day. My friend Hen is playing in a rock band (age 9!!!) at a BAR in Arlington VA. There are several other bands playing, I think his band plays three songs. But we're going to brave the traffic and head over the river to see him. He's very excited that we are coming. 

I feel like Monday is going to come too soon though. 

Oh, and in chatting with Jess, they're coming down here 12/20 and staying overnight with us. Then over to house sit for one of my colleagues until the 28th. I'm super excited. It is not as long as the last time but I absolutely love having them nearby! 

Jess complained I had not taken any pictures of Toffee recently, so I took some. Here are pics for today. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. No dedicated 10. 6200+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 146
5:45pm: 156
10pm: 196  

food:

coffee/water
11:30am: 2 breakfast burritos w/bacon, scrambled egg, shredded cheese, salsa, on low carb wraps; metformin
3pm: 2 beers
6:30pm: Butternut Orzo mix, chicken breast w/cheddar and parmesan covered in spices, cranberry sauce
7pm: metformin+jardiance ; 2 more beers

Leftovers

A friend of mine who is a professional TV chef posted on his socials today "If you have any thanksgiving leftovers in your fridge, today is the day you throw them out."

Leftovers. 

I was suddenly very sad about leftovers. We have some mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce, I'm thinking those are still good? We have the orzo and butternut squash. A little too high in carbs for me to be honest but I was thinking they'd be really good in a baked stuffed chicken breast or something. 

But thinking about what Tom said, now I'm thinking everything goes out. 

The one thing we have that I guess is not a week and a day old is the turkey soup. So for lunch, I had a nice big bowl of that with a grilled cheese on 647 bread. 

And it was lovely. 

Not much else to say except your girl may be doing a fridge clean tomorrow, maybe. Digits below this blurry picture of lunch.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no indoor walk. too busy. 5k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 178
5pm: 154
11pm: 126  (tested 3x to make sure it was true)

food:

coffee/water
10:15am: english muffin w/pb
11am: metformin
1pm
6pm: cheesesteak meat w/mushrooms onions peppers in a bowl (no roll)
7:30pm: metformin+jardiance
white wine

Reduction Sauce

I LOVE when Geoff cooks dinner for us. He picked a recipe with a pan seared pork loin and a maple rum reduction sauce with pecans. 

He bought 2 packs of pork loin, and inside each pack, there were 2 pork loins. For a total of 4. Instead of putting 2 back in the fridge for another meal, he cooked all 4 of them. 

Like pork loin for DAYS, man. I kind of couldn't believe he did that but. It's cooked and we can do things with it for dinner tomorrow I guess.

He reduced the reduction sauce to a caramel, candy consistency - thick, and threaddy like if you were making a fancy maple rum dessert. Doug scraped it all onto parchment and we're thinking it is going to solidify fully overnight. Not quite peanut brittle consistency but I told doug he should have added the rest of the pecans to the mess, because then .... it'd be more awesome.

It was delicious but.  I mean. that was a lot.

Also, here's a note: do not serve a cheese based broccoli side dish with a sweet maple rum reduction sauce. not a good mix. 

Still. He did a great job, everything tasted great. He knows what to do for next time. 

I'm never sad that he makes dinner. Even if it is gross. There is no better way for anyone to learn how to do something than to make mistakes, and he has not killed us yet. There's that. 

Today there were so many meetings. I found out one of the clients sent my big boss an email about how excited he is to move onto our platform, after 2 solid days of training by me and my buddy B this week. It felt good because he's been a little difficult (the client) to sway in some ways so we had a great days of training and an open office hours "Ask Me Anything" session today. All good and fun. Great 1:1 with my boss, we did my annual review last week and a few things were still sitting with me. I brought them up, he heard me, I don't think things will change but I know I'm heard. Sometimes that is relief in and of itself.

Had a good long chat with Jess about housing, they're looking for a change. We've been trying to figure out a trip north and I think it won't be by Christmas but maybe ... after Geoff's birthday and before Doug's? Not sure yet. 

But we'll get it figured out. 

Put more holiday lights up. Feeling cozy and sweet around here right now. I'll get some pictures tomorrow of the more things. Noticed my tree picture had the little angels at the bottom cropped out of it, my bad. They deserve some love.

 This dog decided that I'm the coziest thing in the house. It's freezing cold, and she's not having any part of outside. She'll hopefully go out in the morning. Again, I wonder about the time she was a stray. Where she was in the winter, as she was rescued in October but had lived through a winter before that. What was her life like?  I know what it is like now. And she is a blessed beast. digits below.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. no walk. Missed 2pm because of a really excellent meeting and I couldn't bring myself to stop participating. 4600+ steps by bedtime. An off day, I'd say.

blood glucose:

8:15am: 188
4:30pm: 186
10:30pm: 150 (another finger gave me 138 and I didn't believe that. Too huge a difference. Going with 150)

food:
coffee/water
11am: Bacon Turkey low carb fajita wrap w/mayo; Metformin
1pm: some more bacon I left for Doug that he didn't eat
6pm: porkloin w/ a very over carmelized reduction sauce w/rum and maple syrup and pecans. Broccoli and cheese 
7pm: metformin+jardiance
8pm:ramekin of pretzels and more pretzels, even more pretzels
white wine

Getting in the mood

This morning the leaf vacuum cleaner machine is going around our neighborhood. It is a very Dr. Seuss-ian contraption. We didn't get our leaves raked to the side of the road. Geoff started but our rake broke and somehow we didn't get over to buy a new one. 

All our neighbors have completely leaf-free yards right now. Ours is covered. Doug will go out and mow over them at some point, it's better for the soil and the pollinators to not completely remove your leaves and make it a spotless carpet of grass. At least, that's what we tell ourselves. We're very New England about this, and in Maryland, everyone 'scapes. 

I turned on the christmas lights I haven't taken down for the past couple years and added more. I went to the basement and found the little table top tree. I put the wee angels around the base, and started to organize the other lights to bring up and stick around. 

Geoff has tomorrow off so he went to the market to get stuff to make for dinner tomorrow. I'll also use his tallness on things I want to put up higher. 

A couple pictures from today so far. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 15 min indoor walk, 6k steps by bedtime (seems low, even with the walk but. Hmm)

blood glucose:

8:15am: 186
5:30pm: 155
10:30pm: 220

food:
coffee/water
10:30am: mac & cheese w/ground beef and extra queso
11am: metformin
12:30pm: english muffin w/pb and low sugar jelly
6:30pm: 4 pork chops (small, thin) with about 8 pierogi
7:30pm: metformin+jardiance 
white wine

One Year of the Toffinator

Today Facebook reminded me that I got a dog. And my blog post from last year reminded me that we got a dog. 

This year feels like it has flown by so fast. And every day has been Toffee. I didn't anticipate I would have a dog like this. Big. Super Big. My little goofy tank. My happiest bean. 

And I'm all the better for having her around. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 2pm because I thought I got it, but didn't. Oops. 2 walks inside 9 min/.41 miles and 16 min/.53 miles. 7200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 200
5pm: 158
10pm: 154

food:
coffee/water
10am: large bowl of plain yogurt w/ blueberries & splenda
11am: metformin
12noon: english muffin w/ bacon and mayo (was going to make cheese/egg for a whole mcmuffin but but felt lazy
6pm: Nachos w/ ground beef, avocado, salsa, sour cream; vodka tonic; metforin+jardiance
7-8pm candied nuts

Planning

My sister was at mom's for a while for Thanksgiving and left this morning. I had expressed to Doug that I thought I ought to go up and visit her before the end of the year. Should I fly solo, should I take the train, take one of our cars? And he felt like he should come too. 

We started planning. 

We could take the dog, but, she can't stay at the hotel because she's too big. But also, Doug thinks we should stay at my mom's but I'm all against that nonsense because smoking and it is 90 degrees in the trailer AND the bed is a full sized bed. So two of us and/or three of us with the dog would be ridiculous.

He's not hearing me out that if we go together, the bed is small and close. Let that just stand. 

And dude is now such a big fan of Amtrak so the train together to Providence, rent a car, and spend like 3, 4 days. It could be a thing.

And probably the weekend before Christmas. If everything isn't sold out all the way. 

I'm happy he wants to go with me and figure out the best options. I just want to be not stressed, and comfortable and .... happy. I don't want to pay to travel, and be stressed for 3 or 4 days while there. 

I love my mom, I truly do, but for sure I just want to go visit her and have a nice visit and not be stressed out. 

More to come on that. He went to bed grumbling that the train would be 300 bucks each for us, and then renting a car, maybe we should drive, maybe this maybe that. I just need to know if it is too late to ask my boss for time off. Because I bet 4 other people on my team are taking the time off. And in theory, I could work while I'm up there, depending on the days we're up there. 

Sigh. 

Tomorrow, Doug gets to go into DC with his office team and go to the White House, and lookie lou at the Christmas Decorations... and then Wednesday he goes to a big holiday luncheon with his office people. Twice in one week, people. Work people. 

I don't envy him but I kind of would love a field trip. 

Hopefully he'll take a couple pictures for me of the trees and shit. 

On that note. Bed. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 20 min indoor walk / .75 miles; 7500+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 166
4:15pm: 168
10:30pm: 166

food:
coffee/water
10:30am: english muffin w/pb & cherry preserves
11am: Metformin
12:30pm: bowl of left over pot roast
4pm: candied nuts
6pm: 2 cluck pucks on one bun, some waffle fries
6:30pm: metformin+jardiance
white wine+ginger ale

With Quiet

We didn't do anything at all this weekend. We talked about doing things, like, today is the first Sunday of the month and it is plant swap day at a favorite brewery. I wanted to go since it was the last one of the year. 

"There will be one next year," Doug said to me. He's right. Hard to believe next year is in 31 days.

He did take Toffee for a walk yesterday which was an accomplishment. It was 37 degrees and your girl wasn't leaving the house. I think we're back into the official no leaving the house because too [weathery out there] philosophy of yours truly. Over 80? no. Under 50? mmmmm, no. 

I did play D&D tonight and we broke our DM's brain. That was a lot of fun. We are playing with two players who are VERY advanced, my friend Cori and I played another campaign together in 2020, so we're, as the kids say "Mid." And Courtney is new to this. She doesn't know what to do or what her character is allowed to do. So Matt has to coach her. And he lets her say "I defer to the team for .... suggestions?" 

I gave her such a good suggestion tonight that Matt was tickled. You could see it in his face. "That's a perfectly viable option." 

I love it when he says something is perfectly viable. 

He had to go off his own script for the game tonight because one of our fellow questers came in swinging in a situation he did not anticipate a fight would happen right off the bat. And then my character ran away from the situation. We split the party, essentially, so I knew I had to go back and figured out a good way. 

It was a lot of fun. I look forward to playing with this group. We don't play weekly, it is more like once a month at this point. We're all incredibly busy. But when we do play I feel like it clicks really well. 

So doing nothing, it was pretty nice. And I liked it.  Making the soup for dinner was really the only exciting thing that happened. 

Anyway. Digits below.  

Saturday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 30 min indoor walk about 1.36 miles; 8k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 189
4pm: 181
11pm: 183

food:
coffee/water
forgot all the food i ate, mostly had a lot of turkey and some pie, and candied cashews. Meds taken at normal times

Sunday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no walk, tried to get one but got distracted by kitchen work... 5k by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 173
4pm: 159
11pm: 230

food:
coffee/water
12pm: english muffin w/pb & low sugar jelly; metformin
5pm: ramekin of pretzels; several slices of pepperoni
6:30pm: homemade turkey soup w/chinese white rice, shredded carrots, onion, celery, 3 kings hawaiian rolls. More pretzels through the evening while watching football.
7:30pm: metformin+jardiance
red wine+zero sugar ginger ale

199

Today was a quiet day. I slept until 10:15. Doug slept until well after 11. Toffee understood the assignment too, and slept and slept. Usually Geoff will be up and noisy and go to the gym at 8:30, but today he skipped. 

We hung out, drank coffee, and had some left over turkey things for lunch. Little turkey and bacon sliders. Hella good. 

I did a few cleaning things, Doug took a nap (after sleeping late!) and I decided to bake.

Sometimes, there are leftover ingredients in containers when you follow a recipe. Doug had about 4 oz of left over carrots, 2 or 3 oz of leftover pineapple, and a scoop of pumpkin. So I mixed them all together with a base of banana bread and an extra egg. Boom. Gorgeous muffins. 

While Doug was napping and the muffins were in the oven, I did a 13 min. walk inside. 

Also, this happened yesterday. 

I weigh myself once a week or so, and I've been consistently between 203 and 206 for months. I was stuck at 208 for a super long time. Yesterday, busted through the 200 mark to 199.6 fully clothed.

It's been a long time trying to get to this point. Hurray for me. I'll see how long we stay below 200, before I pick a new goal weight. Technically I'm not yet at 199 ... I am still over it, but I will take this damn victory and rejoice. 

 Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. 13 min indoor walk; 6k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10:30am: 193
5pm: 173
10:15pm: 191

food:
coffee/water
noon: turkey sliders: 2 kings hawaiian rolls w/turkey, mayo, bacon, cranberry sauce
12:30pm: Metformin
4pm: 2 carrot muffins
6pm: leftover turkey, risotto/squash stuff; potatoes, gravy; white wine
6:30pm: metformin+jardiance
8pm: ramekin of candied cashews
white wine

Thanksgiving is a wrap

I woke up at 8am and Doug had the turkey in the oven already. We'd told his aunt and cousin dinner was at 1. They got here after 2:30, rather on brand.

Everything was ready - even the walls. Oh let me tell you why the walls were ready. 

Doug was trying to pull down one onion from the wee onion basket on the top of the pantry bookcase. One. Onion. He managed to rotate the basket (rather than take it down and take a freaking onion out of it) and whacked the brand new bottle of Frank's red hot, causing it to come plummeting down from oh, 6 and a half feet up in the air. 

Because we're us, there was laughter, there was cleanup (as he was in the middle of mashing the potatoes and making the butternut squash/orzo thing). And Toffee tried to help too - she enjoyed licking the floor before I could get her in the kennel and prevent that happening. 

Our oven does not have a hood/fan so I've been noticing how gross the walls and cabinets are. I did the cabinets all around the dishwasher and front of the sink. I have a note to self to do other things. And today one whole wall got cleaned, because it was covered in hot sauce and gross anyway. 

This activity was not on my list of things to do. But the wall and the floor are now spotless. More to come I'm sure, with some free time this weekend. 

I took this picture halfway through cleaning it all up. I should have thought to grab the phone before I started wiping and spraying.

Dinner was great. Doug's aunt doesn't have any hearing aids right now, so it was impossible to communicate with her. After dinner, she handed me a pair of apple ear buds and told me they were her hearing aids. 

No.

But they won't stay in her ears and they don't work when people are talking to her. 

Uhhhh. No. 

Explaining to her that these are not hearing aids, they're for listening to her iPad or iPhone. She said no. That's not true. They are hearing aids. 

To prove me right, I had her put them in, and I called her from outside. She could hear everything. Then she asked again why they don't stay in her ears. Girlfriend, I don't know. Not my job. She and Doug's cousin fell asleep on the couch watching TV, so Doug and I took Toffee for a 10 or so minute walk as it was windy and cold out - and we didn't go far. Just enough to get out there and claim we took a walk. 

I didn't take pictures of our two desserts in action but both were very good. Very dense and thick and rich. Delicious. I had a little of the pumpkin cheesecake lasagna thing Doug made (he said it didn't need the caramel sauce, and we should have toasted/candied the pecans. I agreed). The blueberry thing I made was excellent. 

We watched some Bob's Burgers Thanksgiving episodes (with the captions on for Doug's aunt) and eventually they left. We watched more. And then football. I texted back and forth for a while with Aaron, hilariously. Doug put on turkey stock, and the house smells amazing, even now at bedtime. 

If you are reading this, I hope wherever you are, and whatever you did today was great. I hope you have a thankful heart for the things in your orbit. And if you're in a rough place with this holiday, know I love you. 

Digits below this Bob and Linda classic. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 10 min brisk outdoor walk; 9200+steps by bedtime was on target to hit 10k but was talking with Linda and suddenly, midnight came.

blood glucose:

8:30am: 164
xpm: skipped afternoon reading too close to dinner
11:45pm: 198

food:
coffee/water
11am: Metformin
12:30pm: bowl of greek yogurt w/blueberries
2:45pm: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, "sunshine salad," orzo & butternut squash casserole; white wine
4:30pm: pie and a goodly amount of it
6pm: metformin+jardiance

A Lemon Jello and Lemon Pudding Thanksgiving

In the past, we've done hosting and traveling for Thanksgiving. Long time readers of this blog are aware of our travails and our feasts lo these many Novembers. 

This year it is just Doug's aunt and cousin coming over. Not a big fun Thanksgiving funfest with all the friends and family. Jess and Linda are up by my mom. And Doug's mom and sister aren't into traveling here to us (and we've not been invited up there) so we go all out for the food shenanigans.

Truth be told, if Doug's aunt and cousin weren't coming over, I wouldn't be showering and putting on clothing. It would be PJs and slacker thanksgiving all day for me.

I'm kind of sad because of the falling out with our friend, because they've been here so many times, and we've been to them, and we've always had such a fun time. I wanted to have Thanksgiving with them, but it ... isn't going to be a thing. Doug said he's feeling really sad too right now, but he's a Rise Above It kind of guy. I wish I had that super power.

Thanksgiving is Doug's favorite holiday. He loves the food, the friendship, the hanging out, the football. Planning the food. Making the food. We don't get too fussy or anything. We're actually very well known for our low key vibe and all the foods.

Doug gets super bummed out when people (some friends of ours) make the day political, focus on only the indigenous story. The day of mourning. He wants everyone to try and move past that narrative and those events, and use the day, weekend, time to focus on joy and thankfulness for where we are right now. Let people know you love them. Be with them. And we've both decided that letting friends be mad about 1620, even though there is nothing that can be changed about it, but then inviting them to come eat is the kindest thing to do. 

Make it all a new tradition. It won't replace the past, but it can be a new tradition for you.

While I was in Annapolis, he did the grocery shopping, got all the things. Most of the things. He has some different dishes planned this year, like something with butternut squash/orzo/parmesan dish, and a Sunshine Salad which is, if you remember, part of the Jello family of things. We will have a jello thing. He is a western Pennsylvania guy, after all.

He bought an unbelievable amount of Lemon Pudding from Jello, by accident. He went to Giant, thinking he was grabbing Lemon Jello. Went to Target, and ... made the same mistake, and got more Pudding. Doh. 

So he said (with a dramatic flourish) he was abandoning the Sunshine Salad theory. "It's not meant to be this year! Not meant to be!" 

But, I had gotten things worked out with my prescription, so, well, I was going out to get that picked up. I was willing to go to Target. We needed toilet paper and spray cleaner stuff. And dog cookies. And other things.

He thought I was insane but I shrugged my shoulders. I'm have to leave the house to get the testing strips, and take this one for the team. Securing my prescription successfully, I headed to Target. The traffic was, as expected, horrible but I found a decent place to stick the car, rather far from the door, so I could count it as walking time. 

In the building, I realized I'd left my list in the car. But I knew what I needed. I set to grabbing all the things. I wanted Constant Comment tea, they didn't have any. Dog cookies. check. Vanilla, brown sugar, yes. I grabbed a graham cracker crust for a different recipe (making use of  his overzealous purchasing of lemon pudding). I got diet cranberry, zero sugar ginger ale, TP, cleaning stuffs, new air freshener, and I went back to the car, which as I mentioned was parked very far away. 

I realized I'd forgotten the lemon jello. The reason for going into the damn store.

Hilarious.

So, was it just not meant to be! I heard him over-reacting in his dramatic Doug way in my head. No. I can walk over there to Giant, with the list in my hand, and get the other things I need. They had the tea I wanted, and I got Lemon Jello for him. I got blueberries to go into the last of the yogurt we have (so I can get that out of the refrigerator). Victory is mine.

Doug bought two cans of blueberry pie filling for me to make a blueberry pie, but on the can I noticed a recipe for blueberry lemon layer pie. 

With lemon pudding.

Well helllllllllo! A purpose for the lemon pudding!  

I showed it to him, and he lost his mind with joy and delight. A use for the pudding packets! Well, one at least. 

He made dinner for us while I was at the store, then made cranberry sauce. He mixed up a dessert of pumpkin pie mix, cream cheese, and a bunch of other sauce that we drizzle tomorrow with melted caramel sauce. Then he made his blessed sunrise salad. Thanks to me. I'm the hero. 

And I set to making my blueberry pie mess. 

Good thing I went and got those testing strips, eh? 

Blood, forgive me for tomorrow. I promise we'll bounce back. But to be honest, there is plenty of protein tomorrow. I'll take it easy on the pie, the sunshine salad, the pumpkin lasagna, all that nonsense. 

digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 2 measurable walks, 16 min for .65 miles and 12 min for .30 miles; 7200 steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

xam: n/a no strips
xpm: n/a no strips
10:30pm: 151

food:
coffee/water
11am: small bowl of mac & cheese w/hamburger
12pm: Metformin
12:30: English Muffin w/ pb; 2 Entenmann's donut hole "pop'ems" 
3pm: ramekin of candied cashews
6:30pm: bowl of rotini w/ sausage, sauce, and mozz cheese; metformin+jardiance 
vodka diet cranberry

One More Day

Why do I do this to myself! It is after 9pm and I'm basically caught up on work for the day. I scheduled three project transfer calls today. They all worked out but it was stressful on the way! Two more tomorrow. 4 clients unresponsive out of 70. I will be calling them personally next week. Even the two clients I honestly thought would not respond responded. So happy for that.

Doug took the day off because his sinuses are messed up and he just felt like crap. He sat here in the livingroom while I did two of the calls, I hope he enjoyed listening to me take care of people. I kind of want people to hear me doing my job. I think I'm loving and caring, friendly and supportive. I feel like my ego needs a boost. It was a busy and frustrating day but I survived. 

Doug took two naps. I was jealous. I wanted a nap. Damn.

I've been trying to find out what's up with one of my prescriptions (the testing strips) and the website says the prescription was filled on 11/10. I tried calling our pharmacy, but could not get a human. I think tomorrow I'll go over there. And be mad. 

But in a nice way. Like I do. 

I decided to make candied nuts rather late. It is over an hour baking time for them, and I was silly to start doing when I did. And then I over cooked them and disappointed myself. Completely. Boo. They don't suck all the way, just a little bit. 

So I'm mildly disappointed. I guess.

And... Tired. One more day and a break, kids. One more day.

FB memories shared this gem with me today, and I cherish it.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 12 min. / half mile indoor walk; 6700+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 161
n/a pm: skipping due to no testing strips
10pm: 141 (last testing strip until... who knows?) 

food:
coffee/water
noon: metformin
12:45: grilled cheese w/bacon on 647 bread
6pm: meatloaf & some form of Knorr's alfredo noodles that doug picked up. 
7pm: metformin+jardiance
9pm: burned ass cashews
vodka & diet tonic

Misty

On Friday I finally heard from the person I was wondering about a couple weeks ago. They wrote me back and basically friendship broke up with me. 

A lot of it felt completely unfair, and they offered me no opportunity whatsoever to dialog and apologize. I felt like I was sucker punched in the face. It hurt a lot. 

I won't share more than that except that I'm not sure what to do about it, what to do with how I feel. 

I want to, and will, talk to my sister and my bestie (and I know you are both reading this, so we'll connect soon. I'm a little in a fog and work has been busy). 

I did have a good talk about this with S over the weekend because we had opportunity, and it was sitting on my heart and in my head so huge and raw, I felt like it would ruin my weekend if I didn't share it with her.  

I still feel sad. Because I can't fix it. I can't make amends.

Because this person is his friend too (and probably by default is now NOT their friend), and our friend group is already very small, when I brought it up to him on Friday afternoon he was equally stunned. We spent a lot of time discussing this, trying to figure it all out, coming up with nothing. Just staring at each other across the living room, lost.

I did not sleep well Friday night at all. I took extra sleeping aids and didn't fall asleep until after 3am. Saturday morning we did our usual quiet and coffee, playing our phone games and reading the news. We hung out and talked even more, until I said I really didn't know what else to say so I didn't want to really talk more. 

He understood that, he honored that. Since S was picking me up between 2 and 3, he took Toffee for a walk and I finished my packing. When he got back I was still here. 

He said "Oh, I'm so glad you're still here because, I found something for you." He handed me a book. A copy of Misty of Chincoteague from one of the neighborhood Little Free Libraries. If you remember a previous entry from about 2 years ago. It has significance. 

This actually almost made me cry. The amount of time that he thinks of me, and he sees something that makes him remember me, who I am from my earliest eras (Taylor, we all have eras, yeah?). 

Long and the short of it is that I love him, I love that he's by my side and recognizes how I feel, and feels it with me. And knows what to do. And he got lucky, who knew it'd be in one of those boxes in our neighborhood. Luck made him look like a complete romantic champion. 

Ya know, our relationship is what matters the most. So thankful for the simple little things.

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  30 min/1.25mile indoor walk; 8k+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 171
5pm: 194
10pm: 191

food:
coffee/water
11am: bowl of mac&cheese w/bacon; metformin
noon: pbj on 647 bread w/low sugar jelly
5:30pm: 2 nice bowls of tuna casserole; metformin+jardiance
vodka tonic

Christine the Ninja

For the longest time, S has wanted to do an escape room with me. I'm not a huge fan, I don't like the time pressure, and to be honest, I'm not that good at puzzles. On this weekend with just us, I agreed to do it. 

Last night we talked until almost 2am. After she was asleep, I got a charley horse (usually happens when I'm dehydrated and of course, in the middle of the night). I applied some of her roll-on pain killer she uses for her back. And it burned.  Very different than the Biofreeze I usually use. Ouch. I drank a lot of water, stretched, and eventually got to sleep. 

I got up at 9:45, tested blood sugar, got coffee, did steps, went to the front desk and asked for late check out for noon which they happily approved. I walked around the hotel and looked at this really cool atrium they have, amazing space, really beautiful at night with the strings of little white lights glowing. 

I came back up, drank my coffee and played Pokemon while she snored gently. She kept getting alerts on her phone and ignoring them but eventually rolled over and acknowledged. She saw it was almost 11 and flipped out, asking when check out was. I told her I had handled it. 

"You are a ninja if you've been up all this time, I didn't hear you once!" I am a ninja. It's not hard to be quiet, but I'll take the compliment! 

After getting dressed an readied up for the day, we walked down to the Mission Escape Room. S picked and booked it for us, and I was worried that she'd walk in and solve it in 2 minutes because she's kind of an expert at these. Her family does them in every city they go to. 

My other fear was that we'd fail. 

We did not fail but we did have to ask for clues twice. One issue was actually a technical problem, because a piece of equipment was not working right, and we were sort of pissed. We were literally right on it - crushing it, and the thing wouldn't work. So we reported that to the girl, and she said they'd look into adjusting it

Anyway. No harm, no foul, we didn't get eaten by an actual Sasquatch and we had a lot of fun. 

Lunch was at a really nice upscale joint called Pearl in downtown Annapolis. The food was fantastic, the staff was lovely. I would have had cocktails, and I know S would have liked that too, but she was driving. After lunch, we walked around downtown and played Pokemon. S bought her son a cute stuffed Ram (Navy mascot) and a really good T-shirt he'll probably have for at least a year and grow into. 

We got home, she dropped me off, my house smelled outstanding as Doug had a pot roast going. I did my 5pm steps and decided I wanted a nap. So I took a nap. No guilt. nap. Missed the 6pm steps because I didn't set an alarm and my family was so quiet. 

Dinner was delightful. He did all the shopping for thanksgiving yesterday afternoon after I left so we are all set except for beer and wine. 

Great weekend. Happy to be home. S said to me that while we had just the best time, she couldn't wait to get home to her new cat for some major snuggles and purrs. "Is that weird?" No honey - I can't wait to get back to ole Toffee!

Digits below the keycards from the hotel, student IDs of famous graduates from the academy. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.  Missed 6pm, napping! 16 min. nice leisurely walk around Annapolis, 7200+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 206
xpm: n/a since late lunch and no metformin
9:30pm: 191

food:
coffee/water
11am: Jardiance (I somehow had 4 of those, and none of the metformin)
2pm: pork egg roll appetizer; Fried chicken on mixed greens salad w/goat cheese & slivered pears; risotto, broiled Brussels sprouts, a few spoonfuls of S's pot de creme dessert; 2 beers
4:30pm: metformin
7pm: pot roast 
8:30pm: tea w/Geoff
9:30pm: Metformin 

Annapolis

We end the Birthday Week with me and S (no husbands or kid) in Annapolis to see our friend Tim K perform at a little listening space in downtown. S picked me up at about 3pm, and traffic sucked. We had a 4:15 appointment for an escape room, but we called and moved it to tomorrow. 

We got to the hotel, checked in, it is cute as all get out. It is one of those Graduate hotels that Hilton runs, and because this is home to the Naval Academy, everything is full of nautical nonsense. A little expensive (on the Doug scale this would be right out), but. We're splitting it so I booked it. The Marriott in town was crazy expensive, and the next nearest one is where S and I stayed a year ago when we came to see Amythyst Kiah at Ram's Head. This hotel is 2 blocks from where Tim was playing. Boom. 

We dumped our stuff and ran next door to the video game bar Game On. We had a couple drinks, played a game called What's Your Meme, ordered 2 individual pizzas (we should have split one) and then Skee Ball. 

Time to head over to Tim but we were too early, so we sat and ordered more food. And espresso martinis. Because birthday. 

Tim has been playing out for a few years, he's a teacher (school/music) and a music teacher, and he's a pretty great guy. We'd been hoping to see him at some point, so .. why not this weekend. There were a ton of people there to see him. His friend warmed up the crowd, he was alright but I wanted Tim to start playing. Finally. He did. Chrissy gets tired, yo. Up past my bed time! 

He did all originals, no covers (he was prepared to do covers if necessary) but the audience was receptive to him and his music. It was a really great show. A great deal of fun. He even performed with his dad, who did the song he wrote for his own wedding to Tim's mom (This was the Tim's Gonna Make Mom Cry set). It was very sweet, and she sat in her seat and sang along with him, while he looked at and sang to her. 

Just, incredibly cute. 

I had carrot cake and an espresso martini (they were very weak tbh) and that obviously has an impact on the sugars tonight. 

Good times. And tomorrow, escape room! 

Here's some Tim pics. digits below!

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.  Missed 3pm due to being stuck in the car; 25 min. indoor walk, 1.1 miles. 10k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 163
4:15pm: 171
11:30pm: 270

food:
coffee/water
11:30am: Metformin, bowl of chicken salad
4:30pm: pizza, high noons, I think I took metformin + jardiance with the pizza?
7pm: brie cheese w/grapes, crackers, apple. espresso martinis (3) 
9:30pm: carrot cake