we got snow!

Finally. Predilections of several inches of snow were actually true this time, and the forecasters shit us not. We were promised 8-12 inches. In reality, there are about 15 inches in my yard. It was quite an adventure. Very beautiful... and it feels very winterish out now, whereas before it was just cold.

A lot of people get really perplexed about the whole white Christmas concept. The classical Victorian images of horses drawn in sleighs and candles in windows, and snow all around as carolers stroll up and down the streets. Where did these archetypal images arise? Why do people long for them? To be honest, I've heard many London residents moan that White Christmases in England were not really white but snow and ice filled streets smeared with soot and garbage, and then it would get rained on, and late December was really never that soft and gentle, romantic Victorianesque vision that people bring to mind. In New England, most of the time, unless you're north of even here, there isn't snow on the ground at Christmas. I can remember plenty of Christmas times in the greater Boston area where it sure was cold enough to sustain Christmas, but all we got was a cold and bitter wind blowing across yards and down streets, enough so that you wouldn't want to be out and you pitied Santa for having to come out in it.

Perhaps in the USA white Christmas was once the standard all the way down to Washington DC and clear over to the Rocky Mountains at one time. But global warming has screwed that up for everyone except those north of Chicago, living in Buffalo, Vermonters and Northern New Hampshirites... Stupid cars and progress crimping environment-driven images of holiday utopia!

Seriously, I doubt that.

I think that the song's popularity makes us all think that Christmas should be snow covered. For me, I'd rather it not be. And I'm very glad that the storm held off until the late afternoon, that I was able to finish all the shopping, that my in-laws were able to get here without getting stranded somewhere between Bradford PA and the NY State line, and that we were able to all enjoy some fun snow-ness while they were here. Snow a couple days after Christmas is fine and good. And we have enough to last us a few weeks it seems.

	I did take pictures of trees, kids, other things, but for the most part I focused on the dogs. I wanted a good picture of the two of them together and I got it. Jack didn't quite know what to do while up in the truck. He was sorta freaked out and Doug had to lift him out. Kinger takes the snow casually, playing nicely in it. And Doug looks like a man who would really rather not live in New England on days when it snows 15 inches. I love that picture.

We survived the visit with my in laws, the storm, and the holidays. I love having my in-laws and my parents visit, but for some reason, and I think this is probably true of most adult children, I am relieved when they are gone.

I personally think three full days here or there is my maximum tolerance level for visiting with my mother in law, and that the same goes when my husband is visiting with my parents...(don't be insulted, ma. You probably feel the same too!) Unless I get like a full day break to do something other than hang out around the house.

In the summer it's different, when we can go to the zoo or go places and see stuff. This visit was hard because we were primarily HERE, except for a Christmas eve drive over to the CVS to pick up a prescription and visit the Building 19 nextdoor. I feel like I've been cooped up here for weeks, when really it was 3 days.

My mother in law stresses me out. Our personality types and interests are very different. Don't get me wrong, I love the socks off that woman and she's very good to me, my husband and our kids... I find her interesting, she's funny and talkative and has a lot of stories to tell, but she just kinda wears me out. My father in law -- he's a sainted man and I love him. I told Doug today that in his old age my father in law can do a world of evil, become a crotchety old kook, and he'll still go straight to heaven for his time spent with mom.

His presence here really balances her out and that's a great thing. And the two of them are always welcome.

For three days. Grin...

I got time to myself at one point, which not only was important for my mental well being but because I had a ton to do and HAD to get rid of everyone. Doug wanted to take everyone out for a ride, but Jessica slept in and had just gotten up. She was excessively grouchy, and was about to make life a living hell for everyone if she had to go with us. So I told Doug to take off without her and I'd stay with. My mother in law said "Oh, are you trying to get rid of us?" And I laughed, I told her no, but I had things to do instead of drive around and look at stuff right at that moment. She made some jokes but I'm afraid she saw that I truly did need a break from all the family in these tight quarters.

They went over to the ocean, to Salisbury beach and other locales, and I had Jessica mop the bathroom and kitchen and organize some things that she neglected to take care of before Tuesday's grandparent arrival. I worked on the menu layouts and other word documents cateringman's partner has me doing, and made full and complete progress. That's one project I'm glad to have done. So it really was a productive time, and I didn't lounge on the couch and play GameBoy as I was sorely tempted to do.

And I felt incredibly relaxed and at peace.

We did a lot of cooking and eating. I made scallops and bacon, which were a big hit. We did a ham and scalloped potatoes, and I made corn when I originally planned to do green beans, which garnered about a half hour conversation about how green beans are supposed to go with ham and that it was strange to have corn...

Doug and I did a ton of shoveling because Pete was down at his parents for Christmas and then went straight to work the next day. So he didn't get back until 6pm last night. I love the fact he has that plow. Makes a world of difference to us.

For those who checked yesterday's entry be sure to go back and check again to see the Christmas related pictures that I posted a few hours after I uploaded the entry. If you give a shit.

All told, it was a good Christmas, I'm happy. Life is good. And that's a nice thing.

---

In other news...

New Years Eve is next week.

I must assure you that there will not be a crazy party like last year, because King Coconuts is not with us.

He's in Antarctica by now taking ice core samples and sleeping in a tent.

Michelle may join us, and my sister may. Anyone else who wants to come up is more than welcome to. The Wayout Inn welcomes all comers.

But I sure as hell am going to miss Aaron. He made last New Years Eve quite fun (as picture here sure does show... by the way, he isn't chugging rum. The lid is on the bottle. He's just mugging for ya) as he makes every visit we have with him just plain super fun... I think of him like the younger brother I never had (not to dis my sister -- she's mad awesome and super. But IF I'da had a brother, I sure think he may have been like Aaron. At least I hope he woulda, instead of being like the vast majority of my male cousins have turned out. But I won't go there).

So I hope Antarctica shows him a good, safe, fun time even without his boobs and a roll of packing tape to hold them in place.

God, that picture totally makes me laugh extra hard.

---

I got our DVD player on the PC fixed so I did get to watch my one Christmas gift, which my sister sent me. Barelaked Nadies, the DVD collection of BNL videos. With snarky commentary by the boys. It's supposed to have footage of their live concert from NYC when they did the Great Guinness Toast, but I don't know if it's my DVD player or what -- I can't locate the content on the disk. Whafuh? I spent a half hour last night getting incrementally more and more irritated with the damn thing until I finally gave up... If anyone knows the secret -- let me in on it. Dang.

So thank you Linda... great gift. And you'll get yours. Oh yeah. You'll get yours (Christmas and birthday gifts, that is, when I seeya).

Oh -- our Geocache had its first finders outside of Team Screamapillar (and no, none of them are Wil Wheaton...)

So far today I've received two emails of the logged finds from the mailbot. The first finder lives the next town over, and I've seen his name on a lot of other finds we've done. He loved it, and his note said something about how he wished someone would put a gift like that out for him, and it was a great idea. What an ego stroke. The second finder says he will come back with Simpsons items at another time. How cool is this! I feel so nerdy! I'm so glad I did this... I think it feels somehow super exciting in a weird and geeky sorta way to have someone actually find it. I feel that I accomplished something great when all I did was stick a plastic container in the woods with Simpsons pogs in it. Dang. I'm easily impressed with myself.

I have some sleep to catch up on and a shower to obtain, so I may just go do those things now. Have a super day

Alcohol....

I do not take drinking lightly. I take the words of Barenaked Ladies seriously: "I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze. But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose to walk the fine line between self control and self abuse."

And today is that day.

I think I figured out exactly why I am so down. It isn't 911, the fear of terrorism, failure of my nation's leadership to ... DO something, shit or get off the pot already as it were.

It is because
no
one
listens
to a
fucking
thing i
am
saying.

Specifically -- Professor MF. And it is starting to really get on my last little frayed nerve.

For weeks now here people, you've heard me say that this isn't going to work. Well, it came about 60% close to working, which is about 40% better than I initially expected. So I'm kind of impressed.

But the other missing 40% from the success rate makes me 100% convinced that I am right. This class isn't going to work online this way, and teaching it augmented on web will be 1000% perfect.

All the students were on screen, some doubled together in the lab. MF sat with a student because the audio on the instructors PC didn't work, so I sat there zapping people out of the room because the brand new feature to block people sucks ass and doesn't work.

The students who were at home pretty much had it down, some of them were experts in minutes. Except for the two girls. The one girl had no audio, mic or speakers. So I typed to her in the chat area when I wasn't busy kicking people out of the room. The other girl would just not stop fucking talking, and with the audio delay, her words were coming in over Professor MF's, and no one could follow, no one knew what was going on.

MF would tell people to switch over to the internet browser they were in (there are 2 things open on your desktop, the Internet logged into the course content at Blackboard, and the tool for Cu-Seeme. Half the kids understood how to use the toolbar on the bottom of the screen to move from Cu-SeeMe over to blackboard, click on the content they were supposed to read/watch/listen to.

The other half--like the lead character from "Memento." They have clues. They have some idea. They just can't fit everything together. They have no short term memory. What are they supposed to be listening to? What week are we in? Who am I? Someone killed my wife and I have to find who did it and kill them.

It was very very frustrating for them and for me by the middle of the second hour, and I could see them getting mad, and I know I was. MF started to get the flow down, instructing kids NOT to talk if it wasn't their turn, to mute their microphones (girl 2 decided she wasn't being spoken to, everytime I looked at the screen her mouth was going all jabberwocky. So her efforts were fruitless.

She pressed on with the class... and when they were done, we all felt like we'd pushed a rock up a hill together and it rolled down upon our limp, sweaty bodies. At that point, she got the students to talk in the chat box, since some of them couldn't speak or be heard, to say whether or not they wanted to come back in this format next week or meet in person.

She wants very badly to make this work... and a bunch of the students do too. Some, like me, think this is a waste of time. She told them she'll give each of them an A if they hang in there, and 106 credits. All joking aside, it's nice that there are willing participants, but I think that it is just not fully realized.

But no one listens to me.

One kid can't take the class in person at all due to his schedule, so he'd end up dropping and it's past the add/drop period now. So she's got that to contend with. There are real academic issues here facing her. She has to decide what to do and do it fast. I'm amazed that I've been home an hour and the phone hasn't rung yet.

My sister emailed me during class and told me to do this:

"take your left hand, place it her right shoulder. take your right hand, place it on her left shoulder. tighten grip on shoulders and BEGIN TO SHAKE HER BACK AND FORTH AND SIDE TO SIDE WHILE SCREAMING "WHY THE FU*K WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME? JEST B'CAUSE I AM NOT A PROFESSOR I STILL KICK YOUR ASS IN TECH MATTERS AND YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE UNREALISTIC OVER EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!"

"**you may smack her a couple of times between shakes, and to punctuate between insults. preferably with your right hand in a back-hand style as she is trying to right herself upright from being shaken the other direction. a back hand accompanied with a flat out slap across the face works well with satisfactory results.

"to inflict more harm on the back hand be sure all of the rings on your fingers that have stones or designs of any kind are full out and upright to cause facial scratches and dings."

Too bad I'm not wearing any rings.

So, if anyone has EARNED a drink, so help me Lord Jebus it is ME tonight. And I don't say that lightly. I don't look at alcohol as a reward for a hard day.

'cept right this very fucking minute.

She (MF) hugged me and sort of cried and moaned "God, I need a drink!" after the kids had left. She then collapsed onto the floor and curled up in a foetal position and said "Tell me why... WHY!!?? Why doesn't it work?"

I told you why it doesn't work! You didn't listen! You won't listen. You refuse to listen. And the funny thing is, the content of the class is Interpersonal Communication -- you have sections on how to listen. But you, yourself, a doctorate-holding communications specialist refuse to communicate, listen, accept and cope. Would Alanis say "Isn't it Ironic?" and be...correct for a change?

You, darling, have created this hell. And it is up to you, darling, to undo it and do it right. Teach the course as a web enhanced lecture class. Teach it the way it will work right. Teach it better than any class they will ever EVER take. I've told you this a million times. A billion million. Please. please please listen.

I didn't say it like that -- I told her that the course is wonderful but she is putting the technology before the learning, that the technology has to take a back seat to the teaching, or the kids are going to get nothing out of this.

Working with technology as an educator doesn't mean that you do the top tier of what can maybe be done -- it is when you use manageable technology which augments and enhances the learning experience. Not technology which needs to be a learning experience on its own.

If we had 2 weeks to just work with the technology and get the flow down 100% for the kids, iron out all their bugs, and make that portion of things work, I'd be 90% behind this. As is -- from one week to the next some of these kids are like goldfish and the little plastic castle will be a surprise every time... to steal from the lovely and talented Ani.

Sigh.

Top all this off with the fact that no one in my own HOUSE listens to me either. Specifically, The Boy. And the Puppy. And the Girl. And sometimes the Husband. Which is pretty much everyone. I feel like I'm talking to myself, or I'm watching a movie and yelling at it--of course getting no response, the actors will still do what they want in the scene even if I know what the outcome will be.

I'm hoping to talk to MF tonight. Tell her that she can run the class in cyberspace next week, but that I think she is totally wasting time.

Well, tomorrow should be a better day. Another Cateringman day, hopefully I won't have to cut as many onions as I did the other day. Tra-la, tra-freakin'-la. Shoot me now.

CMT Crossroads, BNL,

My sister got the PayPerView of the Barenaked Ladies concert at the Roseland Ballroom which took place in November, the day George Harrison died. The last time they played the roseland was New Years' Eve five years ago, or, as Steve said "Five years ago before we sold out to tha man."

Linda taped it for me and sent it to me recently. After I got back from Chuck E. Cheese's (yep. I went there after coffee with Naomi. You didn't think I would, but... I did. It was worth it except Geoff was sad when I split. But the dog got to go for a nice ride).

Anyway, I digress. Recall, if you will, the nerdy girl. The one in the wizard hat who danced like a spaz the entire concert when I saw them in Portland. Well, they get a full on shot of her laughing and dancing at the Roseland show. yup. She's there. Her shirt, remember I couldn't read it, it said "I Love" something. Well. It's "I Love Beer."

I'm got of her for you so you get to see it. I still totally want to meet this girl. Hell yeah now that I know she loves beer! My kinda friend! Damn! (by the way, if you ARE her, email me. I want to know where you got your wizard hat).

Doug is convinced that Ed and Steve are gay. They kiss on stage and often talk about gay stuff and porn. So he's sold on the concept.

Perhaps they are.

They still kick ass.

As if Gay Guys can't kick ass. Hello? Can you say Rob Halford? My sister and I used to totally yell out in these deep loud metal voices "Clean Cut!" when we'd see him in Judas Priest because all the other metal guys like Dave Mustane and Metallica and them were all hairy. Clean Cut was cool, and little did we know, so gay. It was the 80s. No one really cared yet. He rocked. Still does damnit! So rock on Gay America! Rock on for Rob!

Okay, where was I. Yeah BNL. It was awesome, and I so enjoyed seeing Kevin dancing on the keys of his keyboard because you so know how happy I am he beat cancer. Or at least has done so to this point. Thank you Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of America. Guinness donated the proceeds from that BNL PayPerView to them, and more people like Kevin can get past cancer. Hurrah!

hi kevin!

---

Coffee with Naomi is always fun.

Not only does she just have the coolest accent on record, she's got a lovely sensibility that is refreshing in a world of nutcases. I do enjoy her presence. Should make a plan to get together with her more often. We went to a little bagel shop in my down town, not much of a downtown really... but there is a bagel shop and that's pretty awesome. Two women were there with their combined four little girls. They let the kids have the run of the place, allowing them to put stuff on all the tables, save for the one I scored for me and N'omi to sit at. They were cute for a minute. The moms talked over coffee, and the kids tore the place up.

Remind me not to be a rude SAHM (that's Stay At Home Mom) for those of you at all confused. Seriously. It's nice to have some adult conversation when you go out with a friend, but pay attention to your damn kids. The world is NOT their play place so you can have a moment of peace. Good lord.

Naomi said something funny to me. She suggested that I go to seminary and become an Episcopal priest.

!!!!!

Uh, hello, I'm laughing on the floor over here. I think my ass fell off because I'm laughing too hard.

I said to her that she had to go get a spinal tap or something just for punishment for suggesting such a thing. She insisted that she thought I'd be the best Episcopal priest on earth.

I told her that when I was at my evangelical Christian college they passed me up no less than six times to be a resident attendant in the dorm because I wasn't what they expected in good Christian leader. I mean, I swear. I joke. I have a sense of humor. I'm not beating people about the head for Christ. I don't remember the four thingies that you suggest to people when you're witnessing to them. How would I make a good priest. I mean, it is crazy enough that Sinead O'Connor thinks that she can be a priest (she's so insane), and become Sinead Mother Bernadette Maria, but I refuse to make a mockery of the position, catholic or Protestant. At least, not anytime soon.

---

I've actually entertained the thought, but I could never do it. I thought that it could be cool, I'd be like the Vicar of Dibley, Dawn French's Character from one of my very favorite Britcoms. I could be understanding. Eat chocolate. Try and give it up for Lent. But no. I'm not suited for the service. She's a tv character, and doesn't seem to have a hard time getting out of bed on Sunday mornings the way I do. Plus, I have a hard enough time remembering who has to be where when for what, like doctor appointments or field trips. I'd be doomed trying to serve an entire parish.

It's a thought. But I'd have to pay to go to seminary. Doug would LAUGH at me, and it wouldn't be worth it in the end. If going to a Christian college got people to make fun of me and accuse me of being like Jerry Garcia meeting the pope, taking it to seminary would be like Marilyn Manson having a sit down and chamomile tea with Christ himself, right?

Although I DO think I'd look smashing in the robes with the groovy sashes that hang down 'round the neck. The collar and a hip cross that is third world and hand painted, not something ostentatious and big and gold, or platinum or something. Ooooh, and the rope round the waist. I dig that look. I thought I looked awesome in just a choir robe. Wearing the full frockage of servitude would rock.

Amazing that I'm entertaining these concepts. I must seriously be lacking direction in my vocational path.

---

Speaking of college, I talked to my friend Steve earlier tonight (hi Lisa if'n you are readin' this). He reminded me of some ridiculous events in our lives when he and I dated, and we boy do we have some funny stories. But one of the funniest has to do with Jessica, long after both of us were married. I was coming back from the coffeehouse one night, very late, and very pregnant with Geoff. It was late November, about a week before I had the preterm labor experience with him. Jessica had eaten more than her fair share of chocolate chip cookies, and she hurled all over the back seat of the car. All over it. She was drenched in puke, and my car reeked to high heaven and subhell.

We were about a block from Steve's house. He was married to my friend Carrie, and I knew between the two of them, or if one of them was there, they'd sure help my sorry ass out by letting me throw her four and a half year old pukey face in their shower.

Well, I got there, and knocked on the door. No answer. She was sitting in the back seat of the car, crying her ass off... begging me to take her home.

I thought I saw someone sitting on the front porch of the house next door, and called out to them for help. They didn't respond. It was a stuffed dummy that they had sitting on their porch from Halloween... Damnit! I was so pissed. I didn't know what to do, then I saw the garden hose.

They hadn't put away their garden hose yet. Here it was, mid-November, and the hose is in the yard.

I turned the water on, and it wasn't turned off at the source in the basement either, Thank You GOD!... I took all Jessica's clothing off. It had to be about 40 degrees max out. It was chilly. And I laid her clothes in the driveway and hosed them off. She's crying her eyes out (since her ass had already been cried off...) and I then took her washed off shirt and wiped her face, arms and legs.

I was all ready to take my own shirt off and drive home in my bra, when I remembered the trunk. Doug's police uniform and a change of clothes were in the trunk. I took what was in there, a T-shirt, and his uniform shirt, and put them on her. I wrapped her legs up in the pants, didn't even bother trying to put them on her. I hosed off her shoes, wiped her feet with the not-clean-anymore shirt she'd been wearing, hosed it off again and threw the whole bunch of sopping wet clothing into the trunk.

I called Steve and Carrie when I got home and had bathed Jessie to explain why there were chunks of food in their driveway and why the hose was unraveled and why I'm an amazing freak who is so glad they hadn't turned their hose off, and thanked them profusely.

Later, Carrie told me where the spare key was. I was inches away from it and could have taken her in (to the dismay of their schnauzer) and washed her up, but it all worked out in the end.

I think of that night every time I drive past the house. Steve lives there still, Carrie's a town away from here. I'm going to see her again on Wednesday morning. I'm glad I'm still friends with the both of them, and that we can look back on stuff and it all seems funny.

---

And I'll leave you with this little gem.

Doug just called to me from the living room to let me know that on Sunday night at 8pm EST, Country Music Television (CMT) will broadcast a show called "Cross Roads," which couples a country star with an artist from a ... different genre. Cross Roads this week will make us all writhe in pain with the musical stylin's of with Hank "Bocephus" Williams Junior and KID ROCK. Perhaps they'll do a hip hop ode to football preparedness:

"Hey Hank, You ready for some football?"
"Kid, you mean like a Monday Nite Par-tay?"
"Yup, we got Dennis and Al and Dan, we're gonna git it kick started. Pour a 40 on the curb for our friends who didn't make it to the big dance, know what I'm sayin?"
"Kid, I sure do. Like you always say "Word to Your Mother." "
"Hell, Bocephus! No jive. That's Vanilla Ice. Don't quote his $#!^ at me! Give me some damn credit."
"Sorry Kid. Well, we better get ready, better sit tight, cause all my rapper friends are here on Sunday Night."

---

Sorry. I couldn't resist. You can bet I won't be watching. Thank Goodness Rob washed his hair and took off his ridiculous hat for the show though. Oh what the hell, perhaps I'll watch. Stranger things could happen in the universe, like me being the right Reverend Christine Amusings! HA!

Summer's Almost Gone + 2 movie reviews

All of a sudden, I'm aware the school year is looming just ahead...

My daughter goes back to school on Thursday August 30th. What the hell is the point in sending kids in for two days, and then having Labor Day weekend off? I mean, I just do not understand it. What is going to be accomplished on those two days that it is so necessary to have them in?

School should never begin before the Tuesday after Labor Day weekend. I think my whole life we always started the Tuesday after Labor Day, thus giving families that all important weekend to just have one last gasp of fun. Truth be told, we use summer and fun weekends all the way up through Columbus Day in our little household. Going camping once it cools off and you need socks inside your sleeping bag, actually NEEDING a fire instead of having one when it is 86 degrees just for the sake of having a fire... fall camping is where it is at. So I am sure we'll have at least another couple full days of fun before it's too damn New Englandy Cold to go out and play.

One of my all time favorite TV commercials concerns back to school themes... The Staples commercial where the dad is taking the kids school supply shopping and he's dancing to Perry Como singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," and the kids look like they could just murder him. That commercial never ceases to either crack me up entirely or just make me smile if I'm too tired to crack all the way up.

My daughter has to be all set and ready in two weeks and two days. Fourth Grade looms ahead. I'm personally not ready for her to be a fourth grader.

Fourth Graders are one step away from that God awful Fifth Grade age... When kids really start to recognize differences between the fat and the skinny, the male and the female, the nerd and the jock. Where the efforts to teach kids that everyone is equal, and individualism is okay just go right out the door and kids draw those clique lines and everything gets completely screwed up.

Fifth Grade is where it all falls apart no matter what groundwork has been laid from Kindergarten onward, and then they are shuffled off to middle school and all hell breaks loose with hormones, problems, depression, more hormones, pressure from school, pressure from parents. Oh, I am just sick thinking about it. I hate Fifth Grade, and day by day over this next academic year my daughter will creep closer to either being the nerd shunned by the jocks, or the fat girl shunned by the skinny rich girls. I am not ready to deal with that kind of pressure.

She doesn't seem to care though. Yet.

I remember being in like Third Grade, and starting to realize these differences. The differences were much clearer to me back then because I was the only white girl in my neighborhood... and all the white kids were rich and lived in the Bay or Southdown, so no one wanted to be friends with me because I lived in the Station... so it became so clear so fast.

I got picked on for being fat, picked on for being white, picked on for being poor, picked on for liking the Boston Red Sox instead of the Yankees.

Luckily they really made attempts now at educating kids that it's wrong to be picking on other kids for stupid reasons. But I think that all changes in Fifth Grade. And the same patterns from my John Cusack Movie Watching days will just appear.

As long as my daughter has one or two real friends who love her no matter what, I am all set. She doesn't need to be miss popularity. Just happy to a good degree.

Yesterday I mentioned that I don't remember anything from my childhood. I'm going to start writing some things down, perhaps here... not to bore you to death or anything, but I just can't remember stuff as clearly as my sister. And I think it has a lot to do with fun. I didn't have as much fun as she did. She had a lot of good friends of different colors, no one beat her up in our neighborhood because her black and hispanic friends still loved her once that level of realization hit. Woozy, Jeannette those guys were still down with my sister while Flo and Crystal Brown beat the crap out of me and dragged me by my hair from the bus stop ... the girls I thought were my friends through elementary school turned on me in middle school like a pack of rabid dogs and terrorized me.

So I honestly think that most of my childhood memories aren't there because I don't have anything worth remembering. Linda's got some good shit. So I totally enjoy spending time with her.

I want my daughter to remember her childhood as clearly and completely as possible. Hopefully she will. In the meantime, I'm in no hurry for her to have the need for looking back on her childhood because that will mean she is grown up, and I am old and I'm not ready for that.

So not ready for so many things on so many levels... and it's all crashing in on me today.

---

Two movies to report on today. One is "Divorcing Jack," a 1998 British/Irish film with a meaningful title that is revealed in the goings on of the film. Dan is a journalist in Belfast, cynical, nasty, doesn't believe in the self appointed savior of Northern Ireland Michael Brinn, who is running for Prime Minister. Brinn is blowing smoke up the collective skirts of the people he plans to represent, and Dan sees right through him.

A tangled and nasty web begans to weave around Dan as his wife kicks him out, his new girlfriend is assassinated, he accidentally kills her mom, and the IRA and the FTP Ulsterists, the cops and everyone else in Northern Ireland think he's a cold blooded killer, so he needs to prove them wrong. What he ends up in the middle of is an incredible mess extortion, IRA murder for fun, kidnapping and lies which leaves everyone guessing, and in the end leaves the balance of peace in the region absolutely screwed.

It was at times an incredibly funny film, the characters were likeable, and the violence, while rough, was nothing like a Guy Ritchie film. A lot more dialogue and arguing than something Ritchie or Tarrantino would do, so there was a bit more to chew on and you had to actually think at times. Good movie, highly recommend.

Second movie is the aforementioned "Barenaked in America," a rocumentary about BNL (pictured here from the most recent CD... in front and bald is Tyler Stewart, dead center and smug is Steven Page, childlike and glad to not be dead from cancer to Steve's right is Kevin Hearn, behind Steve and looking creepy is Ed Robertson, and way in the back because he's 3 feet taller than everyone else is Jim Creegan).

As I mentioned yesterday the box warned of adult themes (turns out they talk quite a bit about masturbation specifically) and nudity (lots of flashing of boobs and wangs and asses early on in the film). I am glad I watched it without Jessie. Too many boobs for a 9 year old but once you get past that area it gets better and there's only a little swearing and it isn't like she hasn't heard it before...

Overall it was a great documentary following the band during the Stunt tour, and focused on each of the major venues they played (Washington, Buffalo, Seattle, Philly, Boston...) and the chaos that followed them through the country as Stunt just took off big.

It also focused in on the band, the family they have with each other, the cancer that attacked Kevin Hearn right after the album was wrapped and in post production, and the overall fun they have entertaining the world. I enjoyed the film as a fan, and really enjoyed the interviews where the guys all confessed that they suck without the other members of the band. It is so refreshing to hear that when so many bands have some front man with a big ego who needs to go do a big solo project. While the guys each do some different stuff (most notably Jim Creegan doing Creegan Brothers Band), they know they are a full unit and their success comes from being together.

Enjoyed seeing Jim Creegan's 'carrot top' imitation on the Anne Murray Christmas special (what a laugh)... Enjoyed seeing Kevin Hearn in remission from the leukemia. It was also nice to hear explanation of some of the songs like "Alcohol," which I knew is a dark comedic song but some people took as their anthem to being drunk assholes.

Doug thought it was too long, I thought there was no need to include the interview snippets with Jon Stewart trying to be funny about hockey players, or Jeff Goldblum. I mean ... Jeff Goldblum? Who cares? I thought Andy Richter from Conan was hysterical with his little editorial comments on how he was so bummed out the BNL kicked Loverboy's ass out of the throne of reigning kings of Canadian music... that was funny... and they should have gotten Dave Foley to make comments if they were going to include frigging Jeff Goldblum, because Foley used the whole band in one of his movies a few years back. They played cops.

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I love, love, love this band, more than anything. I hope they continue to grow and make great music, and I hope they never get boring. After all, no one else can write songs like 'Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank' about Anne Murray's Stalker. Too smart, too different and too funny.