My kids are grown. I have a lot less to worry about than some of my friends do.
I worry about Jess up in Massachusetts even though they are (going to be very soon) 28. Will there be layoffs? How much do they have saved, their roommate, the roommate's girlfriend who just moved in with them a month ago after getting furloughed from her job? Can they make do? Can I send them a couple hundred bucks? No? Hold onto that, ma. They tell me they're alright.
They are an essential employee at the company - order fulfillment in a warehouse that does medical supplies and aerospace materials. There are still orders coming in. Orders have to go out. Boxes shipped. Labels printed. A small raise for the essential employees, huzzah. But several have been furloughed or laid off. And the company is wondering how long this can go on.
I worry about the introvert who initially rejoiced in this shut-down of just about everything. No pressure to go out with the few friends they have, when they just don't want to. Because no one is going out. But the distance from the people they actually want to spend time with, even infrequently, feels insurmountable.
Literally this is the best picture to choose for this as I think about the "little devil" he was in first grade.
I think that if this was 2004 and we were in a pandemic, this would not have worked out cool for my family for sure.
6 year old Geoff, 8 year old Geoff, junior high school Geoff, well. It would have been hard.
But maybe not. Maybe? I look at this boy and I remember what a joy he actually was a lot of the time. For school, not so much. But once we got his learning disability figured out, his education got a lot easier.
I think of how Jess was an easy go of school, and using a computer to learn things and check in, get the homework done, complete assignments, Jess would have been okay and would probably have thrived. I should ask what they think about it.
Geoff, maybe if he had my undivided attention (ie: I didn't have to work) we could have seriously made a go with distance learning. It sure would have removed the horror show of the social aspect of how his education was.
I always had such a great time with Geoff when we were doing learny things in unlearny situations.
His love of the outdoors, his ability to identify plants and trees, learning to use the handheld GPS for geocaching. His extreme curiosity about wanting to know all about things the way kids do. If we could have had that time together in this situation, without fear of money or the stress of me having to work maybe it would have been okay. Maybe we could have done it.
I'm watching several of my friends dealing with stressful situations with their kids and school. The kids don't want to participate in the online learning. The kids want to just stop - they've had it and it has only been like a month or 6 weeks for them. The parents are getting calls and emails saying "your child has not turned in their work," when they know damn well they did because they helped and they oversaw the process. There are unreasonable scheduling demands and if you have more than two kids it can be a nightmare. Meltdowns, fights, panic attacks.
The process that is in place, I'm not sure that it would have worked for Geoff and me, or Geoff or me. But the concepts of someone letting my kid just come home and learn, with me driving, well that may have been great.
I often think of Geoff from 15 years ago and I wonder if we made right decisions for him, for medication or therapy, or school or anything. I don't like to think "what could have been," because to be completely honest, what I have with him and the person he is today, damn. I love this guy.
I loved him then, even if it was a bit of a challenge. And I can say that with a smile. Yup. Sure did.
So I won't even entertain the idea of what it would have been like to have second grade Geoff home on lockdown. Instead, I'll revel in the fact that in July he's starting an academic program that he put in 4 semesters of prerequisite work for and has done such a great job pulling this all together and getting it organized with very little external guidance from Doug or me.
And I'll watch from a distance as my friends walk their walks with their kids in this really weird time in our country's history and the history of parenting.
Oh boy. I think quarantine grade school Geoff would have ended you both. After-5th-grade Geoff though...once he really got into Scouts... He was always awesome, it was just that there were those days where he mushed a whole glue stick into his hands during math and then yelled "I'M ALLLLL STICKKKEEYYY" at the top of his lungs. That's a classic. Jess would have been totally fine, handled it with ease, quietly gone about her school business and read like a manic.
ReplyDeleteI think of "I'M ALL STICKYYYYYYY!" often.
Deletelook at that picture though, i think if i didn't have to work, i could have done it with him. Maybe.
look at that picture. God i love him.