Misty

On Friday I finally heard from the person I was wondering about a couple weeks ago. They wrote me back and basically friendship broke up with me. 

A lot of it felt completely unfair, and they offered me no opportunity whatsoever to dialog and apologize. I felt like I was sucker punched in the face. It hurt a lot. 

I won't share more than that except that I'm not sure what to do about it, what to do with how I feel. 

I want to, and will, talk to my sister and my bestie (and I know you are both reading this, so we'll connect soon. I'm a little in a fog and work has been busy). 

I did have a good talk about this with S over the weekend because we had opportunity, and it was sitting on my heart and in my head so huge and raw, I felt like it would ruin my weekend if I didn't share it with her.  

I still feel sad. Because I can't fix it. I can't make amends.

Because this person is his friend too (and probably by default is now NOT their friend), and our friend group is already very small, when I brought it up to him on Friday afternoon he was equally stunned. We spent a lot of time discussing this, trying to figure it all out, coming up with nothing. Just staring at each other across the living room, lost.

I did not sleep well Friday night at all. I took extra sleeping aids and didn't fall asleep until after 3am. Saturday morning we did our usual quiet and coffee, playing our phone games and reading the news. We hung out and talked even more, until I said I really didn't know what else to say so I didn't want to really talk more. 

He understood that, he honored that. Since S was picking me up between 2 and 3, he took Toffee for a walk and I finished my packing. When he got back I was still here. 

He said "Oh, I'm so glad you're still here because, I found something for you." He handed me a book. A copy of Misty of Chincoteague from one of the neighborhood Little Free Libraries. If you remember a previous entry from about 2 years ago. It has significance. 

This actually almost made me cry. The amount of time that he thinks of me, and he sees something that makes him remember me, who I am from my earliest eras (Taylor, we all have eras, yeah?). 

Long and the short of it is that I love him, I love that he's by my side and recognizes how I feel, and feels it with me. And knows what to do. And he got lucky, who knew it'd be in one of those boxes in our neighborhood. Luck made him look like a complete romantic champion. 

Ya know, our relationship is what matters the most. So thankful for the simple little things.

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  30 min/1.25mile indoor walk; 8k+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 171
5pm: 194
10pm: 191

food:
coffee/water
11am: bowl of mac&cheese w/bacon; metformin
noon: pbj on 647 bread w/low sugar jelly
5:30pm: 2 nice bowls of tuna casserole; metformin+jardiance
vodka tonic