Ultrasound Day and a General Roundup of Stuff

Not a lot has been happening in the week since we did that 48 hour film project. Steve and Brad said it was well received, but not THE funniest comedy that was offered up that night. Still, they said that it was good in comparison, and hopefully we'll win something. Long and the short of it though is that it was fun for me, and I'm so happy to have participated.

On Thursday night we had an event at work. Create a Cook partnered with Harpoon Brewery and presented a food and beer pairing night.

I worked exceptionally hard on print collateral but nowhere NEAR as hard as Jo, Sam, Heather, Lily and the others on the actual food stuffs. Doug came out by train and met Dave (of my Friday shenanigans) and me there. About 40 people were there ready to rock the house and have a great time.

The food was amazing. The beer was perfect. I didn't get to eat as much as I liked, especially of the Buffalo Chicken Mac & Cheese... and I especially missed out on the sous vite pork with the beer sauce because I was wandering around SCHMOOZING on behalf of the school, answering questions about program offerings and whatnot.


My take-away box with canolis and cupcakes got EATEN by one of my dogs, so I was exceptionally mad at her for doing that. But all told it was a lot of fun. I look forward to it happening again sometime.

What else... hmmm. Oh -- Jess has been my Baking Fairy for the past couple weeks. She sleeps all day and then gets up around 4pm, hangs out with us, and when we go to bed she bakes. She's trying to perfect quickbreads. This morning I woke up to lemon pound cake and blueberry cake bread. The 11 pounds I've lost since Christmas may come back if she keeps it up.

And finally, today is the day I finally go to the doctor again for the follow-up Ultrasound to determine if there is anything wrong with my innards, and to discuss treatment plans for the menagoria I've been experiencing. So we'll see what happens next with that. I will, of course, keep you posted.

Anyway. That's about it. A very quiet, boring stretch here at the Way Out Inn, I must say.

Liveblogging: 48 Hour Film Project

10:21am

So my friends at Playomatic, Steve and Allyson et al, do this awesome thing every year for the 48 hour film project, and I have long wanted to work on this process. This year, I am. Leigh and Steve asked me to help out, so Jess and I are here.

And I thought I would live blog it for them, since Steve doesn't have a Playomatic blog. And because he needs to like direct and stuff.

This entry will be edited repeatedly through the day. Check back often. Please.

The elements this year are as follows: Prop - Chess Piece. Genre - Film de Femme (a movie focusing on strong female characters, but not necessarily girls in roles that guys usually would have in society... so we are going ... super hero). Line - "I didn't see THAT coming!"

Working on the project right now are:

Steve and Allyson

Jeremy

Brad

Leigh

Rachel and Abigail

Jess

Me

Erik R.

and other people will be joining us later.

We are at Erik's home base, the Griffen Theatre in Salem MA, using the stage, props, back drop, and facilities.

Erik will be playing the White Queen. In Drag. His dress is amazing. And now we're picking out his wig... Rachel and Abigail will be playing the Goth Gyrlz, characters who have appeared in past Playomatic films... and Leigh will be playing Aunt Henrietta. She will get an extreme goth makeover in the end...

We brainstormed, wrote lines, have the general idea, and right now we're setting up the equipment. Erik and Jess are making up dialog in mock-german for Die Weisse Königin, and Erik even shaved his chest for the role.

11:10am
Scott Smith, in da house.

11:14am
Christine: Let's be creative

(looks at facebook instead).

11:48am

Filming begins.... NOW!

Sound check with Erik - "Thing is, I can totally hear you petting your dead cat."

Steve says, "here we are, filming starting earlier than last year...."

12:27pm
"curse my orthodontist.... he said i wouldn't need braces!"
Erik's outtakes will be amazing.

12:40pm
My new job: Cat Wrangler

12:54pm
"Let's run down to the hardware store and say "I'm building a bomb, what do you have that looks bombish." Yeah. That'll go over well."

-Scott

2:40pm

Shot the Goth Gyrlz and broke for lunch. Special guest appearance by Keri and Nastia who stopped in to visit. Getting ready to film Aunt Henrietta's big entrance, the Big Reveal, the Big Discovery.

2:55pm

My daughter needs to shoot a CO2 canister at Leigh for her entrance, It's like a fire extinguisher ... this could be very funny.

3:03pm

"What, we all recognize Uncle Hank by his genitalia????"
-Leigh

3:46pm
That went well. CO2 was very loud, the girls made great horrible funny faces. Leigh ad libbed great lines, the reveal is amusing. Scott is using a rubber hand on top of his head to balance the boom mic.

"Ally, can you tie up Erik, please." -Steve
"Didn't See THAT Coming!"- Scott

4pm

"I'm not that method, man." - Erik

"Dude, just take your pants off." -Steve

5pm
Shooting photos for the graphic novel segment of the movie. Pow! Slam! Stomp! Victory!

5:30pm

Wrote/edited the voiceover for the graphic novel segment for Scott's narration. If he can get through Die Weisse Königin without laughing, or only laughing a little bit, it'll be awesome.

6:48pm

Scott's narration is done, he's off to home. Hopefully we didn't miss anything (hopefully I didn't jinx us with that comment). Great to see him.... and the voice over is very comic book/Power Puff Girls, perfect.

7:17pm
"You know, you're like lactose intolerant, right?" - Flossie

"I totally forgot." -Jess

Jess gets to be in the movie, saved by the Goth Gyrlz... yay!

7:52pm

Longest. Attempt. For. 10. Seconds. Of. Humorous. Footage. EVAH!

Jess and the Goth Gyrlz could not keep it together, laughed hysterically through the takes. Painful, but worth it (we hope).

8:09pm

Brad posted a short video of "what passes as a special effect." Very Funny

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bradkelly/5696551731/

8:48pm

Bubble stuff, and flame lighting. Oh my.

9:39pm
Jess and I are clear from the site. Great night, lots of fun, and I do not envy Steve and Brad now as they will be editing and creating the masterpiece tonight. Sending them heartfelt mojo and huge thanks for allowing us to participate.

Screening will be Wednesday night at the Kendall Theatre. Hoping we can make it in.

Bill

I woke up this morning and my email contained a touch of sad news.

One of the parishioners at our church passed away yesterday. His name was Bill, and he was a good old man.

He and his wife Carmen were smiling beacons of kindness in the congregation, and they welcomed us lovingly when we joined.

Bill was a Marine, you could tell. He carried himself with a stern dignity that was somehow softened not just by his age and experience but by the hand of God. He always talked to Jessica, asking her about school and her college search. And while she was away, he asked us about how she was doing. He loved that she was studying languages and linguistics, because the world gets smaller every year and it is good that people know how to communicate.

Bill and Carmen were a lovely couple together, I loved to watch them talk, and interact with others. I took this picture in 2009 at our annual historical reenactment service, where our pastor dresses as George Whitefield. Carmen is wearing some sort of 18th century little hat thingie, most of the women in the church (and some men) dress up for the event. Bill didn't. Obviously.

Last year, Bill was struck down with cancer. He ended up in the hospital, had most of his intestines removed, fought hard, worked hard to beat it. I went to a job interview one day and drove past his rehab facility. I decided to drop in and visit. Boy, the smile on his face when I walked in.... I will never forget it. He and I had a good hour and a half to ourselves and we chatted about kids, raising them, working hard, being unemployed... his wife didn't drive so people would bring her to the rehab, and she came in with the folks who brought her that day and we had another hour together of laughing and visiting.

It's a day I will never forget.

Unfortunately, it is pretty much the last day I ever saw him. He got released from the rehab and went home, and everyone thought he was on the mend. In the fall, he got the news that the cancer had spread.

This past March he decided he'd had enough fighting, and stopped all treatment. He found it stupid and futile to keep poisoning himself when it wasn't doing any good.

He went out on his own terms.

Our pastor visited with him almost daily. I made plans to visit this week after we got back because I wanted to take Jessica to see him. Carmen told me that it was a really nice idea, but that she didn't think he'd make it and not to be surprised or let down.

Well, I am not surprised or let down. I am actually disappointed in myself for not going over sooner, without Jess.

Bill was a great guy, with a smile that could light up a room and a laugh that you could not help but join in with. I will miss him dearly.

Rest well, Marine. You've served honorably, you've lived righteously, you died on your own terms. It's all any of us can ask for, really.

My thoughts on OBL and the 10 year fugitive run

"I've never wished a man dead, but I've read some obituaries with great pleasure."
-Mark Twain

I'm taking a break from reading my facebook newsfeed to write an entry on what happened last night. Not that my opinions count or matter really, and there will be time to reflect more deeply on this, but I wanted to write down what I was thinking and feeling as the news unfolded and continues to unfold.

Last night Doug went to bed and I was on his heels when I took one last look at facebook, where a high school friend posted that Obama was getting ready to address the nation in moments. It was about 10:20pm, and Liam was freaking out. What was he going to talk about? What could he be suddenly addressing the nation for at 10:30 on a Sunday night? I jokingly said that he was interrupting all the TV broadcasts so he could specifically interrupt Donald Trump's TV Show. He had nothing to say, but because he is the president, heck ... he can do anything. "Oh hi, I'm the president! I can do anything I want! If I want to monkeywrench The Apprentice, I'll monkeywrench it! Hope you liked getting my birth certificate, Donald!" Liam thought that was funny. We wondered if it was something about Libya, Qadaffi, something like that. And he suggested Bin Laden.

Bin Laden hadn't been much of a mention in the past several months. The "Arab Spring" movements were filling the headlines, no one was really paying any attention to OBL and where he was hiding. I raised my eyebrow. Captured? Something? Dead?

I decided to go upstairs and get Doug. I figured if I did not and there was some Big News, he'd be mad at me. I also figured that if he didn't care, he'd roll over and go back to sleep and that would be his call. He jumped out of bed, news junkie that he is, and we came downstairs to watch.

Eventually the talking heads on the TV stations that we were bouncing around (CNN/Fox/MSNBC/Local News) came out and announced that Bin Laden had been killed in a compound invasion.

Initially I had an "America, Fuck Yeah!" moment where the song from Team America was ringing through my head. And then I got a little sick to my stomach about the "Oh dear, what happens next?" Doug said that all the sleeper cells across the world might just use this as the moment to wake up and strike hard.

I then got a little sicker in my stomach watching the news roll in of people celebrating in the streets. Most of them were very young when 9/11 happened, maybe 10 or 11 years old, and there they are screaming in the streets like the home town hockey team just won the Stanley Cup. Any excuse to party, right?

The president came on and did his address, dispelled some of the unconfirmed reports that this happened the week before or a month before or whatever, and confirmed it had happened this day. So no joke, he didn't want to interrupt Donald Trump, he had news to share.

I then started to think about the vacuum that his persona would leave behind, and the next in command, the ladder climbers, the real haters in the operation who upon ascending to the high seat will really flex the muscles and strike out at us.

Reading through the responses on Facebook, there was a lot of jubilation, a lot of cheering, a lot of "this is pointless, it will not bring anyone back..." a lot of "Great, now can the TSA stop bothering us at the airport, for crying out loud?"

And there were sobering thoughts. Bible quotes, fears, sadness. And then other comments to those statuses saying "can't you just be happy for a minute? Enjoy the moment!"

Several of my friends posted profound quotes, but I loved what Molly had to say (Eeka's Molly) with this:

"Although I find it rather a relief to know that bin Laden is gone, I can't help but think of the midrash in which God chastisted the angels for rejoicing at the Egyptians' destruction at the Sea of Reeds..."My creations are drowning, and you want to sing?" Many emotions and reactions are appropriate. Wild cheering and partying are not. Carry on."

I was suddenly aware of the fact that when the news shows Arabs dancing in the street and celebrating with guns shooting into the air after 9/11 or when a suicide bomber takes out a Jerusalem marketplace full of Jews and Western Tourists, we call them "savages," but here are our own people dancing in the street and freaking out. It made me very ashamed for some reason.

My friend Ann posted that it broke her heart to know this man was dead, and did not stand the chance of accepting Salvation through Christ. Basically, yes. But he led a life that said that he rejected our Christ and was a full enemy to him, so do we necessarily weep for that or do we say "you made your bed, you sleep in it, for eternity..." Honestly? We all have an end-date to our lives, and he lived his right up to the end as an enemy to Judaism and Christianity, to anything other than his philosophy of hate. What can we say to that? As Christians or as anyone else. Is this "justice?" And as Christians, don't we believe that those who do what he did deserve justice, not just here but after at the hand of God? Can we not say that this WAS the hand of God giving him finally what he "deserved?"

And then there were jokes, some of them awful, most of them involved Donald Trump. And sadly one made me laugh out loud but I feel guilty for it. "Okay, okay, on a scale of from Anne Frank to Osama, how was my hiding place?" This will be used in hide and seek going forward, I guess.

I'm proud of the soldiers and Navy Seals who managed to put this together and execute it so quickly. But I have concerns and questions. I'm upset by the fact that he's probably been hiding in Pakistan all this time, and Pakistan didn't do anything about it. He basically was living next door to Pakistan's "West Point." You would think Army guys would ... know? Do something? Anything? Maybe? I do not like that he wasn't captured and put on trial. But then again, at what cost financially to the country would a lengthy trial be? Who would try him? Would he just end up in GITMO like so many other big whigs who have been sitting there for about 10 years? And what is this 'burial at sea' thing that they pulled off mere minutes after killing him? Why? I mean, I'm not calling out a conspiracy theory, and I know that parading his body around is ghoulish and wrong, but ... so fast? Everyone is concerned about whether or not it was in adherence to Islamic Law, but I really don't care about that. I really don't.

It feels like a hollow victory also, as I remember two of my classmates who died in the Twin Towers, my friend Mike who is a firefighter in NYC who had to deal with the aftermath and the loss of over 300 of his Brothers. Nothing will bring any of them back.

On that note...

Home Home Again

We got back late last night from a brief trip out to Western PA to get Jess and bring her back. Her freshman year is complete. Waiting now to get the grades for this semester. I hope they are as good as her first semester. I feel like this year dragged and flew at the same time. If that makes any sense at all.

Geoff didn't come with us on this trip. His 8th grade class takes a trip to Washington DC each spring, so we planned our departure for the same day as his. He was exceptionally excited to go on this trip: he started packing the day he got home from the Boy Scout bike trip; he obsessed over being ready. He wanted new clothes and a hair cut (he got new shirts but we didn't get his hair cut -- I want him to keep it longer through the summer for Shakespeare because it just looks so curly and cool).

Our dog sitter came over Tuesday night to go through the routine and say hi to the dogs. Doug bugged out of work early so he was here at 5:30. We all ended up at Kohl's and the Petsmart (for guinea pig litter) and then a lovely dinner at Unos together. We had a great chat, and Geoff was on edge about getting home to pack. We got him all organized and he stayed up until after midnight, and then got up at 4am and showered, paced the house, and waited for me to get up at 6.

We brought his stuff to school and he took off like a shot. Bye! Have a nice trip!

I went home and laid down on the bed. Doug let me fall back asleep while he packed and cleaned. The last load of laundry had to dry... So me getting a little extra rest was a good thing. We left at about noon, and headed to Chris & Chrissy Kelly's down near Scranton. It has been a really long time since Doug has had the time to spend with Chris on one of these trips. Usually he (Doug) is in a hurry to get all the way there. This time he felt like taking his time. We stayed the night, had beer and wings (the wings conquered us, unfortunately) and enjoyed Hockey Night in Scranton watching the Bruins beat the hated Canadiens and the Penguins (unfortunately) lose.

We dragged our feet in the morning, Doug and Chris were exceptionally chatty and it was nice to listen to them go at it in playful argument and discussion. We hit the road at noon, and got to our hotel at about 5pm. Doug's parents met us for dinner, and we had a really nice time.

Normally we stay up by the mall, but Doug wanted to save money so we stayed at the Willows Inn down in Industry. We saved 30 bucks a night, but it was kind of super awful. I'm on the verge of a Yelp review that will not be ... kind. Normally, I save my snark and don't really pour it out there, but ... yeah.

Doug and I decided that to save 30 bucks a night to sleep on weird smelling pillows... we'd suck it up and pay a little more and go up by the mall.

Anyway, Friday morning we went down to Pittsburgh. Jess' friend had asked my help in moving stuff into storage because she had no way to get things there. Jess later told me that she did have friends with cars and that I got played, but ...whatever. I'm helpful. Because I agreed to do this my husband and daughter went out to lunch. I had fun helping C move her stuff into storage, and she was worried that she wasn't going to have enough room in the storage unit for her stuff... but it turned out that she did so we went back and got more.

We got to Jess's dorm and Jess was angry with me that I took so much time with C. Part of it was traffic... I can't help that there was an accident in my way. But she was so ready to go, and so bitchy. She swore that she had not accumulated anything, but turns out she sure the hell did. Our entire hatchback and the back seat was basically full -- just enough room for Jess to squeeze in the back. It's a good thing we didn't have Geoff with us.

She simmered down a bit by the time we made it out of the city. We got to Doug's parents and Jess put enough things into storage there in their garage so that there would be room enough for her to ride home comfortably. After we emptied out the car, reorganized, reset, we headed out to Ohio to visit with Doug's grandmother. It has been quite a while since we'd gone to see her, I think it was Mother's Day 2009 the last time we went out, the same weekend we buried his other grandma.

She is 93, and a sharp cookie. We had a nice visit, a bunch of laughs. She keeps saying that she can't believe she is lucky enough to see us again when we come. It kind of breaks my heart. She walked us down to the exit with her walker thingie and hugged me so hard. And she beamed at us as we left. I wanted to cry.

Doug's dad always takes us on little tours of where his people are buried in eastern Ohio. Doug patiently tolerates it... I think it bores him because it is the same each time. I didn't expect it this time because the light was fading fast. But I want to bring a GPS and mark them so that we have a record of these things. He's obviously wanting us to make an effort at connecting to his family's past so ... I'll make the effort.

Second night in the hotel was good, Jess slept in a chair because she didn't want us to bother the hotel at 10pm and get a cot. And then she complained about it being uncomfortable.

We stopped to see Diane, J and the kiddos at their new house, which is awesome, and they have a pool, and my niece and nephew are horribly fun and entertaining and I love them.

We knew our dog sitter was not going to be able to stay at the house Saturday night. That came as a surprise to us.... as she emailed it to me on Thursday to let me know that her mom wanted her home. So we discussed driving straight through, or having our neighbor let them out at 9pm and again in the morning. I figured they'd be frantic left home alone overnight. We have never done that to them.

Traffic was mercifully very light, and we made it from Beaver Falls to home in about 10 hours. We didn't stop for dinner. We stopped for gas and burgers somewhere in Connecticut. We got home to watch the newly minted Dr. Who on the DVR and go to bed... I think I fell asleep at 1am.

Geoff's bus was scheduled to arrive between 8am and 9am this morning. I checked in online with one of his friends with facebook on his phone to find out their arrival time. I went and got Geoff a doughnut and me a coffee, and headed over to the school. The parking lot was a disaster, hugely crowded and horrible, and Geoff ended up getting a ride with someone else while I was stuck in traffic. I was so angry. So incredibly angry. Horrifyingly, head splittingly angry.

I actually have not been this angry in so many years... I think that biologically there is something in our brains that keeps us from murdering our kids. That is the only thing I think that has kept this boy alive. Oy. I called home and told Doug that my urge to kill was rising, and he laughed at me, which is not good, and he told Geoff that he'd better be ready to apologize to me the second I walked in the door. I was greeted with open arms and "mom! So glad to see you!" which made me even more angry.

I got over it.

I'm happy right now to have all my family home in one place. And no one has had a fight, yet. Yet. And I haven't killed anyone.

Welcome May... Looking forward to this summer.

Dumpling Date Night

For the past couple months, I've been working part time at my friend Jo Horner's cooking school, Create a Cook. Jo and I met online, through Universal Hub, I think... She needed some office help, and I needed extra income. So... it's a match made in heaven.

That, and her iPod can read my mind, so it makes not for a "work" day but an "awesome" day.

Last night, Doug and I took one of the classes offered at Create a Cook. We joined up with some of Jess' friends who are still in high school, and we did Date Night: Dumplings.

A few weeks ago, one of Jess' friends had complained on his facebook wall that he was trying to make dumplings and failing. So I asked Jo if he and another friend (since it was Date Night) could do the class. Then I thought "Doug and I deserve a date night!" so Jo put us in too. There were two other couples in the class, and aside from the fact we knew Catie & Chris, no one else knew each other.

We made four styles of dumplings: wontons which were immediately put into a soup; shrimp and chive folded with a shark fin style seal and then steamed; shu mai, which was like a little box or bag, steamed; and finally potstickers, which were fried on the bottom and then steamed on the top.

The ingredients were all pre-sorted for us, so we didn't have to measure out things like ginger and green beans, shrimp and chives. But we did all the chopping, cutting, fine mincing and mixing of liquids and spices to make the fillings. The instructor taught us the different folding techniques, and we talked about gastronomy, styles of food from different regions, spices and spiciness.

Instead of preparing all the food and then sitting and eating at the tables in the lobby, the way most date night dinners end, Lilly cooked our food and we ate as we went. She thought it was a better option so we didn't all faint by the time 9:30 pm rolled around. This was a very wise choice. Out of each of our batches, she cooked up about 8 dumplings, and the rest of the prepped dumplings were placed into the freezer so we could bring them all home and cook them here. So our freezer is now filled with joy, four different styles of dumplings ready for us to whip up when we want.

Doug didn't quite master the wonton fold, but I rocked it. He was the king of the other three styles of folding, and I kind of started to get good at the potsticker style by the end of the batch. Of the four, I loved the filling on the shu mai the best. Lilly whipped up a spicy soy/sriracha dipping sauce that was simply perfect with each of the three dumplings that didn't end up in soup.

We had an excellent time, and I had fun running around taking pictures. The other couples were sweet and we had a lot of laughs. Doug is now asking all kinds of questions about what other kinds of classes we can take. All told, this was a great thing to do as a couple. So rarely do we get to work side by side in the kitchen anymore, so it was a blessing to have this time together.

Full photo essay available at my flickr stream if you would like to waltz through.

"Where's The Nearest Hospital?" BSA Bike Hike on Cape Cod

I just got back from a nice, long weekend with my son's Boy Scout Troop.

Geoff doesn't do winter camping, or cold weather/snow activities, so this is the first trip he's been on since a weekender in October. One of the other moms in the troop has a condo down the Cape a few towns away from where the boys were camping, so she suggested we go and stay there and still have fun with the boys but have our own Castle away from them.

So I took her up on the offer.

Geoff and I went down with her and 3 other boys on Friday night so we didn't have to meet up with the troop at 6 am on Saturday to make the 2 to 3 hour trip. We had a wonderful time with the boys, watched the "Tron" sequel, and everyone was fast asleep by 11pm.

In the morning, we made a great breakfast, had more great fellowship, and met the troop at the campsite to unload camp stuff and get things ready for a day of biking.

At that point, I split.

I had a date with a long time internet friend, Jess of "Cool Librarian." Fellow Geocacher, BNL fan, Guster fan, Flickr friend and Facebook buddy.

We met up at her house where her dog lovingly humped my arm, and we hit several Geocaches that she either has hidden or had recollection of so we could quickly get them. It was a brutally windy day, which made for no fun for any actual nice, real hiking.

We ate lunch in Chatham, had a GREAT time, and I headed back to the Boys. I spent the evening playing Uno and hanging out getting to know one of the new dads and a bunch of little wee new Scouts. The troop did a total of 17.5 miles on the Rail Trails. Geoff had a great day biking, and loves his new bike. So he told me all about it, and Debbie told me that he only had to be reprimanded once on the trail for doing something incorrectly.

Dinner was served, beef barley stew cheffed up by the Scoutmaster's wife. The boys cooked for the boys, and we all had a great time. Everyone was beat, so Debbie and I split and went back to the Condo with monkey wine and laughs for the evening.

Next day, we headed back, Debbie was riding with the troop, and I was going to meet up with them somewhere on the rail trail. I ended up hooking up with them at Nickerson State Park, where shortly before they arrived there one of the boys had a head on collision with another biker coming the opposite direction.

Our medical expert parent decided that his arm was most likely broken. We had to do some quick thinking and planning. Were we doing the hospital thing or were we driving him on home? One of the dads was headed home that night anyway, so he opted to cut his trip short and bring the injured boy home. I was all ready to play ambulance and everything, so I was kind of happy to not have to go.

That afternoon I met with another friend.... appetizers and heart to heart. It felt good to be out with humans. I went back to the troop, and Debbie reported that Geoff was 3 miles shy of a 25 mile ride... he opted out of the extra 5 mile loop that a bunch of people did, and stayed with a group of younger, tired scouts because he was tired too. She said he did incredibly well again, and didn't get in any trouble.

Another evening of awesome food, and very silly adult leaders eating whipped cream off of forks without the boys being aware because they were all in the other room playing Risk and other board games. I played a cut-throat game of Uno with 4 scouts and the Scoutmaster, and went home late and laughing.

This morning the boys had to clean up, pack up and get going. The original plan was to ride the Cape Cod Canal, but the boys who did the same trip 3 years ago said the headwinds down the canal were BRUTAL and they didn't want to do it. So we ended up at Myles Standish, where they did an 8 mile ride in the woods, without rail trail rules. They were happy to go nuts and ride fast, side by side, just enjoying the outdoors and each other.

Geoff and I left the troop as they got ready to ride back to the trailhead, and we went to my mom's to hang out for a while. She lives only about 8 hours southwest of where we were. We had a nice visit, but you could tell Geoff was just BEAT. I got him home, he's happy to be here, missed his dogs and his computer.

I feel a little bad about not doing the ride myself. I had put Geoff's old bike into the shop to get some work done and never got around to picking it up. I also am rather out of shape, and didn't want to deal with it. If the trip was a month from now I'd be in better shape. I was happy to play transport vehicle and be support for the 2 moms riding. I had a great time bonding and goofing around with them.

It was a great weekend.

Meditation and Prayer for Session Meeting

There is a change in my life, one that to my recollection I do not think I've actually shared here thanks to being otherwise distracted by bodily horrors and BOA nightmares.

As a citizen, of many different circles, I have always tried to bee helpful. My help is always taken up, but I have never been offered a leadership position. Over the years, I've applied for leadership or management positions but no one has ever given me one. I wanted to be an RA in college, and was repeatedly denied the role. It really hurt my feelings, because I thought I would have made a great RA. In work situations, I've wanted to lead, have been led by people who don't know half of the stuff I know, and have never been elevated to a position of responsibility where my skills can shine.

I've repeatedly said here that no one takes me seriously. When I was working with professor MF back in the day on her online course, all of my suggestions were overruled. And when things crashed, burned, went horribly, it was her on the line, not me... but I could have saved her the nightmare if she'd listened to me once in a while. And I had to listen to her cry and complain, but ... she made her choices, they weren't mine. In the end, things worked out for the class but I think it was rather a huge waste of time and a negative overall experience.

So I stopped trying for a good long time. Why bother?

This year, someone actually asked me to do something and I turned it down. My cute little Presbyterian Church asked me to be an Elder, and I said "No thanks, I'm over extended as is." I told then to ask Doug, because he wasn't doing any volunteer work (I am on our Boy Scout Troop Committee, I do a lot with them, and I just felt that my volunteer time was spoken for).

I thought about it then for a few days, and figured that I should say yes after all. So I called back and asked if the offer was still on the table. It was.

In February, I was "ordained" as an Elder. I didn't have to take a test or go to seminary. I had to attend a couple training meetings, and sit in on the Session a couple times before it was official.

Tomorrow night, I've been asked to give the meditation and prayer before the meeting. It is the first time I've had to do anything like this in a long time. My friend Greg's daughter provided a facebook posting with a verse that speaks to where I feel I am right now. And while I will not overshare my situation, I thought I'd work out some of the thoughts that will go into my devotion. Special thanks to Abby for providing the source code.

April 14 Session - Devotion & Prayer
Over the past few weeks, I've been sick. Not terminally ill, but sick. A lot of unrelated sicks that have added up to a great big sick. I even ended up in the emergency room because of some of it. I've had no fun. I hate being sick, I hate feeling helpless, I hate losing time in the day when I can be doing things other than sleeping or hanging out in bathrooms. I hate planning my day around "where is the bathroom going to be if I need it." It's been a rough month.

Suffice to say, I'm happy to be sitting here right now, and yes, I do know where the bathroom is.

But for as sick as I've been, there are those who are sicker. Thanks to Facebook, I've had news of friends who have been hospitalized, we've built prayer groups where family members post updates and we each type out our prayers and supplications for the friends in need.

The latest one is the daughter of my youth group director, Bob, and his wife Ann. Their girl Lauren is in her early twenties. She got sick, like me, only while being sick she managed to tear a hole in her esophagus and required immediate emergency care. A rush to the local hospital and a CAT scan later revealed the damage and an extra surprise.

A tumor on her gall bladder.

Surgery was scheduled to repair the esophagus, and remove the gall bladder. She currently is in a NYC hospital, and hopes are that the results of the biopsy on the gall bladder come back negative or benign. We should know tomorrow. Please pray that God's will is done in Lauren's life.

In talking with Ann, she was filled with praise for this event. Had her daughter not gotten sick, had she not torn her esophagus, they never ever would have known that there was a growth, tumor, problem with their otherwise extremely healthy daughter's body. If this is cancerous, or if something had happened where it went septic, exploded, no one would have been looking there, and she very well could have just been dead instead of hospitalized. Ann's praise and honest relief that this horrible event helped them avoid an even more horrible event humbled me and made me cry.

Funny way to look at it. But so incredibly true. And so I'm brought to Paul's letter to the Corinthians, where he gives us hope in light of illness. "Therefore, we do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Cor 4:16-18)

Let's pray together.

God, through illness and wasting away we are reminded of our mortality. Through healing and strength renewal, we are reminded of your gift of life to us. Bless us with the ability to focus on the unseen, which sometimes is revealed to us by accident. Allow for us to use our times of health wisely to help those who are sick. Allow for us to use our times of sickness to allow for others to care for us and make us well. Bless us as we focus our energies towards the eternal instead of the fleeting. And give us your guidance this night as we work together as a team to do Your will in this meeting. By your grace alone, and through your Son our Savior Jesus Christ, Amen

About the Doctor

Again, I am about to HORRIBLY overshare. So if you aren't interested, do not read. I wish blogger had a "jump" where I could break the entry so this all doesn't appear on the front page. But then again, I did state in my first entry in this series that it is my intent to share so that others going through similar experiences won't feel as alone as I did. So... go away to somewhere safe if you don't wish to read.

I went to see the OBGYN on Thursday to follow up on the events of 2 weeks ago. The doctor I chose to see was part of the team that kept me from having Geoffrey prematurely 14 or so years ago. I had not seen an OBGYN because I get all my lady doctorin' and checkups from my family practitioner's office. He has a great staff, and I've never felt the need to go see anyone else. Nothing has ever been of issue, until now.

So it's been a while since I have seen this doctor. He asked me to recount the details of Geoff's delivery, and afterwards I asked him "do you remember me and that pregnancy?"

He honestly said, "Oh dear... I've seen a lot of women in my time."

Truth. I'm sure it is.

He is an Irishman with a sick and twisted sense of humor. When I was on bed rest in the hospital, I'd hear him coming down the hall doing his rounds, heading for my room, singing old Irish standards like "Wild Rover" and he'd get to my room and say "Any fine young Irish lass needs sung to on a daily basis."

Those two weeks were the only two weeks of my life where this fine young Irish lass was sung to on a daily basis. He'd also tell me naughty limericks.

This may not be on your list of criteria for a good doctor, but it is on mine. And I told him that I may not have made a lasting impression on him, but he did on me, and so that's why I chose to go back to him. He appreciated that.

So 14 or so years later, I'm on my back looking at the ceiling with a nurse named Denise by my side. He says to me as he's about to insert a 10 inch long piece of plastic to my body, "This will hurt, and you will blame Denise."

It hurt, and I did. "Aw ferchrissakes Denise!" I yelled "That freaking hurts!"

He laughed and said "This one is quick, she learns fast..." and then he chuckled "I remember you now."

The scary part of the procedure, which was to take a sample from my uterus to see if I had polyps or growths or cancer or aliens or whatever growing in my body, was when he said "Well, that's never happened before..."

"What do you mean?" I asked, and Denise leaned down to look.

"Well, your uterus is extremely large. Either that, or I just put this thing right through the top of it and perforated it, because it just kept going and going and going..."

"That would be a bad thing, if you perforated my uterus... wouldn't it?"

"Yes, and I think you'd know it because you'd kick me in the face and you wouldn't be blaming Denise for the pain you'd be in. So I don't think I perforated your uterus." He stated he did get what he needed to run the test, and told me that he wanted to do an ultrasound to see what the heck was up with the size. We have an appointment on May 16th to do so. I know it seems far far away, but that's the state of things I guess in OBGYN land.

He said that he couldn't SEE anything, no fibroids, no visible issues. He gave me a prescription for a pill that would stop my period if the events of 2 weeks ago happen 2 weeks from now. "Do not wait to fill this. Fill it today, and have it on hand. AND, should you need this, call me and do not hesitate. This is your get out of jail free card."

That sounded good to me.

He said that the amount of bleeding I experienced could be directly related to the size of the uterus. Obviously, if it is huge, it has more blood. The clots concerned him, and the inability to stop bleeding concerned him. They took blood samples to test to see if I am having any sort of blood clotting problems, and to check different hormone levels.

He called last night to say there was evidence of benign polyps on the sample that he took, and that is okay. Benign is good, and they're to be expected in a way. The ultrasound will tell us more. And at that point, we can discuss treatment, whether it is the pill, an IUD, an ablation procedure, or something more drastic. He said that "If I had one of these" (meaning a uterus) "I'd opt for the IUD. But that's just me. And what I know about stuff. But we'll come to a full conclusion after all the tests and evidence is in."

And that, dear friends, is the update about that.

Thank you, Jakob Dylan

"Here it comes and there it goes, the unbearable sound of the earth making men out of boys."

I heard a song tonight that I've never heard before. I was watching a DVR'ed episode of the Guitar Center series where they have artists perform and Nic Harcourt interviews them. We have several of these episodes from CAKE to Weezer to Jakob Dylan, so I thought I'd watch a few before they got deleted off the system due to lack of space. Our DVR does that and I'm always bummed out when it happens.

Jakob doesn't talk about his dad. He would do a good imitation of his father, I'm sure. He seems down to earth and honest. He isn't pretentious like the lead singer of CAKE. He isn't spiritually weird like Weezer dude. He just answers questions, and is kind of boring.

Until he sings.

"On Up the Mountain" was one of the songs he sang, with a lovely accompaniment by a female vocalist that I do not know. The words are almost cowboy poetry. Simple words about the wisdom of living up high the hill, and the sad solitude of people down in the valley. And he sings the above line about the unbearable sound of the earth making men out of boys... and I started to cry.

I've been so deeply moved lately by Geoff and my relationship with him over all these years. I had a wonderful time with him this weekend out on walks in the woods with dogs and sweatshirts slowly shed as we worked up warmth. Geoff was full of jokes and happiness, and the peepers in the pond were singing and making us aware of the wonderful onset of spring. It was a fantastic weekend.

"First you learn then you'll teach, about the bright, bright light making its way on up the mountain night and day."

Geoff got in huge trouble in school today. They were having a debate in English class and I'm not even sure of the TOPIC of the debate but he closed with some insensitive and over the top remarks. Rather sexist, and I think in the long term he was going for a laugh more than anything. He told me later he didn't mean it the way it came out. But he's got a detention now and hates himself.

"I am doomed to be alone the rest of my life. No girls will ever date me now after what I said. Not until I leave for college somewhere like New Zealand or something and make a new start."

You'll get tired and you'll get weak but you won't abandon your masterpiece.

I am not entirely sure that I'm looking at a masterpiece today. Over the weekend, yes. But we run into hiccups in the development of men out of boys, don't we?