The Monday Post Concert Let Down

Looking back on my FB Memories, I pretty much have a string of years where I attended a Guster show on this weekend. For instance, last year was Boston at the MGM with an Easter Egg hunt at the Verb Hotel (still one of the funnest bits of chaos I've every been a part of!) and 2023 was in Huntington NY with the gang, in my hometown. Such FUN. Spring is a good time to do Guster shows. 

Linda left this morning a little before 10am. "Before getting too comfortable." Probably a good decision as there's a storm coming up the coast, and she wanted to be ahead of it. I had several friends with flights home from DC this afternoon who have changed their departures to this morning, for the same reasons. Get outta Dodge before you can't get outta Dodge. 

She texted me when she got home, I was in a series of meetings all afternoon, and I miss her already.

Doug needed to go to the bank and deposit a check, so he left around 7. I took the dogs outside to play stick and do steps. About 3 minutes into our really fun outdoor time, there was a flash of lightning and I heard it sizzle. Literally. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and the thunder clap came. 

I looked at the dogs and said, "okay ladies, inside!" And there was no argument from either of them. Usually one of them refuses to come in because outside is a lot of fun, right? Nope. They were both a little surprised, and happy to be back in. I started an inside walk and went a little over a half hour for myself. Especially because "Love Shack" is a fun song, and it wasn't quite 30 minutes when the song came on. So. Keep on rocking. Bang bang on the door baby! 

I'm glad I got steps in, I didn't yesterday. I didn't want to take a walk, I am actually very very sore after this weekend. And sometimes I think about how much energy the band puts into a show, back to back nights, and I am like "feh" for just walking to the bathroom, and needing a freaking back rub. 

I try and channel my inner rock star and live an amazing and powerful life, but I just want a painkiller and sleeping pill at some point. 

We cut into our cheesecake, because I did not follow the directions exactly (like a dope) it came out lumpy and weird, but delicious. I mean. De Lissssh Ussssss. I need to find a recipe though that does not require a water bath, because I'm not doing a good job of wrapping the springform pan with tin foil. Water gets in every time. More research needed. 

Anyway. Good day all around, we have a big site change over and rebrand tomorrow afternoon, so I'm very excited for that.  

Wish me luck! 

digits below this amazing picture from a Guster fan named Cara who is a professional photographer in Massachusetts.  Shared with permission. Go to her webpage and check out her work! 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.   Somehow missed 10am, I think I was racing to finish an email and lost track of time. Indoor walk, 35 min./1.59 miles. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7am: 188
5pm: 120
11:30pm: 136

food:
coffee/water
7am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
10:30am: BLT salad (to steal some bacon from geoff, who cooked all of the last part of the package!)
5:30pm: met+glip
6:30pm: one cluck puck, some french fries
7pm: slice of cheesecake (made yesterday)
8:45pm: jardiance

Guster Kennedy Center - March 2025

The two Guster shows with the National Symphony Orchestra were next level amazing. I know I say that a lot about Guster shows. But this is true. Absolutely true. These two performances were, as my friend Alex says, life affirming.

Performing with a symphony gives their songs these lush arrangements. Several of them I've heard time and again, but last night there were some super new ones that were fresh and delightful. Songs off the latest album, and old songs like Happier and Demons, finally, with the gorgeous layer of arrangements by professional hands.

And this was the Kennedy Center, where things have gotten .... weird. The new administration has determined the programming too "Woke" and they put measures into place to change the content.

Several artists, bands, and performers have canceled their shows there. Key advisors and creative directors like Ben Folds resigned. 

Guster did not cancel their performance. They felt it wasn't fair to the symphony, who had worked so hard to learn these pieces. Not fair to the employees who would miss out on work those nights. Not kind to people traveling from all over the country to come see them. Not fair. 

And over the last two nights, they were there to prove they had a reason. 

A musical called Finn was canceled by the new ... regime. Official Kennedy Center talking points were that the show was canceled before the new administration took office (but, after the election was won by them) and before the new leadership was in charge. There was no reason to cancel this musical. It was sold out. 

But, it's about a shark who thinks maybe deep down inside he is a sparkly fish. 

Too woke to have a children's musical about self acceptance, kindness, and discovering yourself in a world where people want you to be something else. Children shouldn't learn that, I guess. 

Last night, Guster decided to shine a light on this fact, this situation, and had the cast come out and sing the song "Hard Times" with them.  Here's an article written about the moment. And there are articles in Rolling Stone, Stereogum, Consequence of Sound, Broadway World, and Washington Post (need to enter your email to read) and all over the internet about this "subtle protest." 

Ryan spoke about how he felt about this situation, and how the stage that night was "their stage," and now also Finn's stage because "they belong here." We didn't get canceled. We're a bunch of cis/het white guys, we're going to recognize our privilege use this forum, and exercise allyship like you won't believe.  

There was not a dry eye in the house. Everyone was stunned. It was outstandingly beautiful. 

For night two, I really wanted them to come out in drag. Absolutely full blown drag. But they didn't. And the more I thought if it, that would be ham handed and over the top, unnecessary. Make your protest in a way that no one can find it offensive. Make your protest with logic, and peace, and music. They repeated the performance of "Hard Times" with the cast of Finn again, and the composer Michael Kooman, had the opportunity to speak for a little while as well. 

We sat with S, S, and Henry and our friend Spicy V and had a wonderful time. I love seeing Guster with Henry. My friend Jeff, his significant other Meg, and his sister Amy were in the row in front of us. I wish we had more time to connect. 

It all was just so magical. 

I had set up those two meet and greets, and so many people came. 50+ both nights. I was a little overwhelmed by the response. But there were old friends, new friends, and so much fun talking, laughing, catching up, and engagement with one another. There were people at the bar who were wearing Guster shirts, so we jumped them into the gang. 

On Saturday during the day, Linda and I didn't even go out. Everyone was going to look at the cherry blossoms, but it was 80+ degrees, and the place was MOBBED, so opted to just not. No. We didn't even go to the pool. Just. Relaxed. 

And sometimes that's the best. 

Here are a couple pictures and three days of digits. Some of the glucose readings I have to go back and get but the monitor is in the other room. meh.

Friday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  20 minute measured walk in the mall (surprised my fitbit counted that) for .61 miles. 14k+ steps by bedtime miles. 

blood glucose:

8:30am: 125
xpm: x
xpm: x

food:
coffee/water
8:30am: phentermine
10:30am: met+glip
12:30pm: broccoli, egg roll, 2 pieces of fried chicken, small dollop of lo mein. (food court!) 
4pm: mimosas 
5pm: met+glip
through the evening - prosecco, meatball sliders, some tuna nachos. 
11:45pm: jardiance, some pepperoni pizza flatbread

Saturday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  15 min/.37 mile stroll to the liquor store that was measured as exercise by my fitbit. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

11am: 178 (after coffee and egg white bites, forgot to take first thing)
xpm: x
xpm: x

food:
coffee/water
8:30am: phentermine
10am: egg white bites, met+glip
12:15: chicken thigh sandwich, brioche bun, some french fries; mimosa
mimosas in the hotel room 
5pm: met+glip; tuna poke in lettuce wraps; white wine
some more white wine
11:45pm: jardiance

Sunday digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  15 min/.43 mile walk. 8500+steps by bedtime (too tired to get to 10k)

blood glucose:

9am: 96
4:30pm: 136
10pm: 188

food:
coffee/water
9am: phentermine; met+glip
10:30am: BEC on sourdough
3pm: 3 oreo cookies
5:30pm: met+glip
6pm: chinese food
8:45pm: jardiance

The Gathering

It's kind of funny. 

Over the years, I've made friends with a lot of other Guster fans from all over the country. Today I got emails/texts from folks traveling to DC from points afar. 

"Made it! Early check in at our hotel for the win! Off to museums!" 

Others are at airports and updating the fan group with their selfies. 

People are RSVPing to the meetups "Count four of us in, the kids are coming too!"

I have the same feeling every time there's a show... I can't believe it is finally here and I get to see my favorite band and some of my favorite people. For as shit-showey this world has been for the past several weeks, this is the penultimate moment. 

We're doing this. WE'RE DOING THIS!!!! It's time. As Frank Turner sings, this is the gathering. 

I messaged Linda this morning to see if she was on the way yet. Super early, knowing the answer. She laughed at me. She left around noon.  I made a pedicure appointment for both of us for tomorrow morning. I called the hotel and requested early check in (if possible) for us, so we can get our pretty clothing on and make it to the meet up on time. 

My house is a post-winter mess, so every day this week I've done a little something and today is no different. I started in the kitchen. The floor is nasty, especially since Dahlia came to live with us. I'm not sure how but it is just extra grubby. 

Where we put our recycling is so dirty. I pulled everything off all of the shelves and scrubbed them. Behind the trash barrel. The back door itself - filthy. Not no more. 

I pre-treated the floor with some 409 and let me tell you, a Mr. Clean magic eraser is a piece of wizardry. It made short work of some of the grossest corners.

Moving on from the not quite all the way done kitchen, I stripped the guest bed and got fresh sheets on. Doug had ordered some towels online and those have been in a box since arriving so they got unpacked. Linda will get the inaugural run at them. 

Laundry ran all day, and folding of laundry happened. 

I didn't send Geoff to the market when he went to the gym because I wanted to send myself out of the house at some point. Sigh. I didn't get myself out of the house at some point though.  Linda texted me to say she'd arrive around 6pm which was easily an hour before I thought she'd get here, so I thought I had time to go to the market and do the outside things. 

I grabbed a quick shower and sent a reluctant post-work Geoff to the market (the look he gave me) and I continued to do house work things. 

I accidentally got bleach spray on one of the hand towels that Doug just bought, literally 5 minutes after putting it up for its use in the bathroom. Gah. I felt horrible about that, standing in front of my wonderfully clean bathroom sink. 

Linda arrived, and the dogs were Jelly Girls.

Geoff arrived with stuff for dinner, and wine. Which was good. Very good. Very happy to have more wine. We had a nice time catching up. Geoff normally goes to his room and hides but he sat up here with us and chatted. He updated Lin on his classes, and she shared some auntie wisdom with him about her experiences 

All told, a very busy day but a good one. Digits below!

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Minimum dedicated 10 late in the day to hit the 10k steps. 10 min/.47 miles, a lot of housework steps and hard work. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 134
5pm: 125
10pm: 75

food:
coffee/water
7:45am: phentermine 
10am: met+glip
12:30pm: grilled tuna and muenster on 21 grain bread w/bacon and tomato
6pm: met+glip
7pm: bowl of pasta shells in meat sauce; white wine+diet ginger ale
9pm: jardiance

Anxiety

This morning, I woke up early. Doug had a meeting at 8am so his alarm went of at 7:15 but the dogs were already up and ready. He didn't snooze, and took care of feeding them and going outside. I went into the kitchen where Geoff was pacing. 

Geoff. You know this kid. You've read this blog for 20 something years. New things trigger an anxiety response for him, and I knew today would be no different so I wanted to be sure to touch base. 

He's starting a mid-semester class today, in person. He adulted on this many times to get it going. He had to work with his boss to reorganize his schedule so he could leave early on Wednesdays (done), he has to drive so we made sure the car is in good working condition (done), he logged into the school portal to check on the class information. 

Oh no.

The class was greyed out in the available academic sessions. Even though today is the start day. Panic. PANIC! Why is it greyed out? hovering over the class the message said "Class is not available, email the instructor with questions."

So he tried to find a way to email the instructor but he's not listed in the staff directory. 

More panic.

All of this before 6am, mind you. He got up early to check on the online portal dealie and now is in pacing and panic mode. 

I offered advice. "If you can't find him in the staff directory, you can email the college and ask about it? Maybe the system doesn't activate the class information in the portal until class day."

What if it was canceled? He asked.

If it was, they'd have emailed you. They wouldn't screw you over and not communicate.

I have to drive over an hour to get there. What if it is canceled and they didn't send out the notifications?

That's why you should find someone else to email if you can't find the instructor on the website. 

He went downstairs and came up about 20 minutes later. 

The class had been activated (yay) and he could go into the room, but nothing for his session was in there, just the first half of the semester. Assignments due, deadlines. 

I told him that someone maybe made a mistake and put it in as a 15 week class on accident. I'm sure his instructor will let him know what's happening, in person, tonight, at class. But he now has an email address and can email the guy. He opted not to. He had to get ready to go to work. 

I tried to get him to make a side quest first and go to target. We're out of dog cookies (oh no!) so we have these tiny pupperoni training treats and that doesn't cut it. Both dogs are looking at me with side eye when I pass that off to them. He wasn't having it, it's too much to plan to run an errand and make it to work on time at 11am when it is 9am. You know. Can't be late.

Work was good today even with some high drama out in the world. I worked with a client to try and resolve an issue with their website, and her 3 yr old daughter was home with her. We got to know each other very well. I told my client that my kid says I "set children on fire." And I kind of did with her little one. 

Doug came up around 5pm and suggested we take a walk. I had just did a solid 10 min (dedicated 10, friends!) with the dogs, outside for 6 minutes around the yard and then finishing it up in the house. I caved to the knowledge that yes, we should. Both dogs need to be walked, not just one. He wanted to be home in time for the news, so it was a solid 20 minutes. Not too hot, not too cold, no wind. Just right. Just right. And extra steps for the day.

I decided I'd make a pie, since we had some ingredients on hand, and I made a graham cracker crust for another cheesecake. It is a no-bake pie, and has to chill in the fridge, so making it at 8pm was stupid. I wasn't going to cut it open at 9 or 10pm. Saving that for tomorrow! 

Geoff got home from around 8:30 tonight and seemed very happy.  He said he's one of the oldest people in the class. It's interesting, this is a required course for the associates degree (he has a certificate) and several people in the class are in the health sciences program or have no decided major. He's the only one in his program. So he thought that was super unique. I told him he should hopefully feel comfortable sharing information about his program (which he loves) for students who are undeclared. 

Technically I'm off tomorrow and Friday. Linda is headed this way tomorrow and staying here. Friday we go to DC for Hotel Pool Day Drinking and Guster. 

I feel like I need this more than I can possibly fathom. As do so many. 

And I'll have pie tomorrow. 

With my day off, it will be cleaning cleaning cleaning, and I'll see if I can get Geoff to do that Target trip tomorrow so we have dog treats. I'm excited about not waking up and working immediately. I do have this ongoing issue with the client I was working with today, so I'll touch base with her I'm sure. But not a real work day. Looking forward to that.

didn't take a picture today, but. It was a good one overall. Pie tomorrow. digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. indoors walk, Indoor walk10 min/.51 miles; Dog walk, 20 min/.90 mile. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 125
5pm: 100
10pm: 102

food:
coffee/water
7:45am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
1pm: bowl of BLT salad w/mixed baby greens
5pm: met+glip
6:30pm: nachos (chips, melted w/cheese, ground beef, sour cream)
white wine
8pm: jardiance

Recovery Day

 That migraine was no joke yesterday, and into today too. Still feeling the impacts. It has been a good long time since I've had one. I know my triggers, and can't necessarily pinpoint what exactly I had happen to get it jump started. 

I will say that yesterday, to just be in a bed, with a dog, with my eyes closed, still and not moving, not sleeping but not awake... it actually felt very nice. I timed my steps and set an alarm. I did the 9am steps, then, for 10am, set the alarm for 10:50, got up, did the steps and did 11am immediately. Went back to bed, reset the alarm for 12:50. Did noon and 1. Drank water, went to the bathroom, and just spent the whole day doing that. 

Happy that Geoff made dinner last night but I should have supervised him. He follows recipes to the letter, and sometimes the recipes are dumb. For instance: Potato soup. Set oven to 350. Roast the potatoes WHOLE for 20 minutes or until fork tender. 

Um. 

Potatoes take like 2 hours to bake, not 20 minutes to fork tender. That is unpossible. 

THEN, take the potatoes out, let them cool and peel them. 

Why.

That's STUPID. Just peel the potatoes first, quarter them, put some salt and pepper on them (no seasoning step in their instructions), roast them, and THEN you're all set. 

So I should have read the instructions before he got started.

He's also super bad at making a roux for gravy or soup. It comes out chunky, gritty. So I should have supervised that. 

But.

I was not complaining. Someone made me dinner when I had a migraine, and in the end it wasn't perfect, but it was better than just cheese and crackers which is what I had the energy for. 

I also pointed out that this recipe book is from the midwest (St. Louis) and while it has some decent recipes, we need to make it so it isn't bland and tasteless. I don't think they know how to cook out there, sometimes. Put some salt and pepper on the potatoes. 

Also. He needs to stop picking recipes that are 100% starch. But again. I'm not complaining. Dinner was made. 

All told, I managed to sleep okay last night and wake up with only a basic headache today. Much better than a migraine. Got through the day, did a website launch with a very thankful client, had another client report a big problem with her website that I can't figure out what is happening so I may have to loop in my hero sysadmin guy. 

Oh, I took a shower. Realized I had not since Thursday. 

Doug took Dahlia for a walk while I was still working on the client problem. I got dinner started and took an indoor walk in between stirring things and checking the emails. I should have put a leash on Toffee and taken her for a stroll but I was dutiful and paying attention to the problem while squeezing in some steps!

Geoff starts a mid-semester class tomorrow where he has to drive to Virginia to the campus. He's been in one since January that is online, every Tuesday. I'm happy to see him renewing his academic journey. He realizes he needs to climb that academic degree ladder to make more money. 

Doug is still shopping for our replacement car online. Hopefully he will pick one soon. 

Anyway, recovering from the headache and trying to get back in the groove of things. Off to bed! 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Indoor walk, 37min/1.64 miles; 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:45am: 160
4:30pm: 124
10:30pm: 121

food:

coffee/water
8:45am: phentermine
9:45am: met+glip
1pm: english muffin w/mayo, muenster, turkey
5pm: met+glip
6:30pm: bowl of mac & cheese
7pm: ramekin of mixed nuts; jardiance
glass of white wine

Migraine

No real entry today. I woke up this morning before the alarm and had a visual migraine starting. Immediately took meds, coffee, water, and tried to work a little but it was not a good experience. 

I got back in bed. Every hour I did my steps, I took the dogs out a couple times. The pain was notable but not excruciating, and much better if I was horizontal with my eyes closed. 

That's about it. That's my day. I thought about taking a short walk but it started pouring so, none for me. 

Better day tomorrow.

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  no walk, 5500 steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:00am: 104
4pm: 84
11pm: 134

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine, 2 migraine meds
10:30am: met+glip
4pm: some club crackers w/ sliced ny sharp cheddar
6pm: met+glip
8pm: bowl of potato soup a la Geoff
11pm: jardiance, another migraine med

It Is Ant Season

I decided today that I'd give my knees and lower back a break and not go to the gym. Not a 14k day today, but it wasn't a zero (see the digits below).

For breakfast, I made egg mcmuffins for us (2 for him, 1 for me) and started doing a little cleaning. Yesterday I had stripped our beds (plural - we have a split king with separate sheets until we figure out a good solution to unify the two mattresses and put a set of king sheets on it, they're both twins or xl twins, I forget which), and I folded some of the laundry piled up next to my side of the bed. 

Today my mission was to find a dress. Not just any dress - the one I wanted was from Aaron's wedding and I need it for the symphony next weekend. A bunch of us decided we are dressing up even though it is a Guster show. Because it is with the national symphony and we want to look the part, as it were. Fancy in the pants. 

This is a good dress, I love it very much, and I wear it when I need something fancy dressy. I could see the little bolero jacket that goes with the dress on the hanger in the closet, with all the other clothes I literally never ever ever wear that are on hangers in the closet. But the dress was missing. So, after folding more laundry, I decided to pull everything off the closet floor that has been there since we moved in 2021. 

Found it.

It had slipped off a hanger, I guess, and stuff was on top of it. I also found the Columbia sportswear jacket liner I have been looking for, I'll need it when we go to Denver. It's a comfortable mid-range jacket that I can wear alone, or put in the shell and stay super warm. It may be super cold first week of June where we are headed. 

Victory is mine, a little bit! Huzzah.

Now to figure out what to wear for night 2. 

I took Thursday off of work, so I think I'm just going to use that day for haircut, toes, and maybe buy a dress. I'm also not above wearing the dress a second time. Why the hell not. It's the dress' chance to shine.

I thought about baking a cheesecake today, but we only had 3 eggs so I opted for breakfast instead. Will send Geoff to the market tomorrow - he's got the day off since he worked this weekend.

Doug again today he was going to look at cars, but it got to be 1pm and he checked the website for the dealer and they are closed Sunday. Sad trombone - he shoulda gone yesterday. 

He took the dogs outside so I could vacuum and stuff, which I asked for and was very thankful for. I didn't need them, especially Dahlia who hilariously has no clue, standing directly in my path while I'm rampaging around the living room with the sucking machine. Toffee at least will jump up on the couch and watch me. But "Screwy" as Doug calls Dahlia, she'll just stand there, and watch. 

He sat out there for an hour, played ball with them. Dahlia was off of house arrest for that time, and loved it. Good for her. I'm glad she was able to be good and not jump the fence when our neighbor and his dog came around the corner. Doug was right there with a leash, just in case. And she behaved while they stood there talking. John's dog Maisey does not care to spend time with our dogs or any other dogs -she's not even interested in nose to nose hello. She just stands there, pointing at her own house with her face. Let's Go. LFG. Let's go. 

So they all had a nice time while I got some cleaning done. And you all know I have to be in the mood to do this, so I was. 

I decluttered the living room table, and the side table. I brought all the christmas stuff down to the basement - it had been sitting here just taunting me since I packed it all up in January. We have at least 3 strings of dead lights that I need to pitch and I'm mad about it. Fucking dead lights.... I don't even know how this works when half a string dies completely. I should google if there is a fix for it because these are my good white lights that we usually keep up for the year. 

During the week, I had watered almost all the plants, except for the ones on the front window. I decided to do that today too. I have an aloe plant that is in a cute terra cotta pot with some green paint on it, and it sits on a little plate that I'd picked up a while back at the Atlas Brewery plant swap. Imagine my shock and panic when I picked up the pot, and thousands of ants were under the pot. Like. What the fuck, ants? I haven't seen a single ant in the house so far this year - but obviously they're coming in and picked this plant to chill under. 

And yes, every year here in Maryland, right about now, they start coming in the house. It is one of my very least favorite things about living here - my outside garden has billions of ants, and they march in the house and they love the dog dishes, the sink, the entire kitchen. So we fight them - and eventually it stops being Ant Season inside, and they stay outside. 

Expressing some surprise and throwing some salty language around, I ran to the back door with the pot and the plate, ants scurrying up my hands as I'm doing my best to hustle. I grabbed our lemongrass ant killing spray from the kitchen and doused the plate and the outside of the pot - death to all you creepy crawly bastards. 

When Doug took the dogs out, I asked him to hand me the two pieces, I'd repot the plant and wash the plate. He looked at the carnage and was surprised at the amount of deceased bugs left behind. I think he was surprised I did not lose my shit when this happened and to be honest, I'm surprised as well that I kept it together. Gah. 

After doing a couple other things I returned to the aloe to repot it. I picked another pot that was a touch bigger than the one it was in, and added a little dirt to the bottom to set the plant on top of. Lifting the plant out of the pot - a million more ants came out. 

Goddamn sonovvabitch you've got to be joking. 

Back outside, more spray, rinsing the plant, taking ALL the dirt off of it down to the bare roots. It will be closely and carefully monitored over the next couple days in its new house. 

Kind of bizarre they picked this one plant to move into - but now the window sill collective will be carefully checked. I won't be going two weeks without investigation of the babies. 

Doug went into the guest room with the dogs around 4, so I took a cleaning and ant murdering break and took myself for a quick walk all by myself. Doug asked why I neglected a dog and the answer is because when one goes, the other becomes super Jelly Dog and cries and cries, and I wanted to be kind to him so he could rest or whatever. 

Did a quick 20 minute trek, discovered you can't play Pokemon at the same time as Spotify is running, so I chose Play That Funky Music, some Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World, Last Train to Clarksville, among others. I did catch one pokemon and did one spinner so I fulfilled my "required" actions for a 4 day streak. 

Dinner was cluck pucks and I was not going to have rolls but I wanted mayo and potato chips on my sammitch. And I had 2. More carbs than usual but Potato Rolls are so damn good, aren't they? 

No picture from today but these are from early Saturday morning. After breakfast, after outside, and back for second sleepies. Dahlia is so black she is like a Void Dog.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Housecleaning recorded measurable exercise, 15 min/.39 miles. Actual walk, 20 min/1.06 miles. 12k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 124
4:30pm: 104
9:45pm: 126

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
10:30am: met+glip
11:30am: egg mcmuffin (1 egg, 1 sausage pattie, 2 slices of american cheese, english muffin)
5pm: met+glip
6:30pm: 2 cluck pucks w/american cheese+mayo on potato rolls, some cheddar cheese potato chips
1 glass of white wine+diet ginger ale

Go an Git It

Doug was going to go look at cars today, but ended up feeling tired. So I went to the gym. I pushed it to an hour, and I'm rather proud of that. Had a nice long chat with Linda on the way home, and chatted with mom.

After the gym, I stripped our beds and washed everything. I folded a basket of laundry but still have so much to do. But I got a lot more done than Doug did. Ha. 

Writing this just before midnight so not much else to post. I am off to bed! 

 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   treadmill. 1 hour/3.16 miles; 15k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:

7:30am: 113
5pm: 136
10:30pm: 76

food:

coffee/water
7:30am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
12:30pm: english muffin w/pb and cherry preserves
5pm: met+glip
6:30pm BBQ pulled pork on top of some french fries
7pm: goat cheese & cherries on some crackers
9pm: 2 baby bell cheeses
10:30pm: jardiance

Hello Friday!

Or shall we say FriYay! It ended up being a slower easier day, I finished a good spreadsheet thing, finalized the 2nd night meet and greet for next week (by the way, one week from right now I'm at a Guster Concert. Yay!) 

I stopped work early and went to the gym. The past couple trips I've made there I've cut things short to get to the market. Today, Geoff had already done the shopping so I was free to just go. 

Wanted to push to an hour but got 40 minutes and was happy with that. Geoff texted me to say he had forgotten a couple things for a recipe he wants to make, so I did dip into the market. I should not shop when I am hungry. The good thing about Lidl is that they do not have a dessert bakery like Giant. Because I would have come home with a giant cake. As is, I got a bag of kettle corn, and I ate a ton of it in the parking lot before heading home. 

Geoff had dinner almost done when I came in so that was a nice treat to not have to make dinner too. 

Not sure what we have planned this weekend but I have to start thinking about what to wear next weekend, and maybe get a haircut and pedicure. 

You know. to look good for the friends and fans. 

All told, good day. Good night!

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   Gym treadmill 40 min followed by 10 min in the market / 2.15 miles. 12,500+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 113
4pm: 103 (5:45pm - 154 after a ton of popcorn hahahha)
10:30pm: 109

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine
10:30am: met+glip
11:15am: english muffin w/pb & cherry preserves
5:30pm: half a bag of kettle corn after the gym (i shouldn't grocery shop while hungry) 
5:45pm: met+glip
6:30pm: mexican chicken (bacon, spicy breading, cheddar cheese)
white wine
10:30pm: jardiance

Rain Rain

Oy, busy day today with my face in a spreadsheet doing updates and fitting in steps and stretching. 

I managed a trip to the gym because I had to go to the market too. The playlist was banging, and I would have gone longer than a half hour if I didn't have to go to the market for dinner stuff. But I kept it going while I walked around, treating that as a cool down period, I guess. 

While I was at the gym, we were anticipating some rain and storms. And nothing seemed to be happening. On the line at the cash register though, the sky just opened up and I have not seen such rain in so very long. It was intense. I stood with another lady and we watched it come down, just in amazement at how much rain there was. 

It let up enough for us to make it out to our cars and we laughed. It was very nice to have that moment. 

Not much else is going on. The dogs are both princesses about going outside in the rain so I need to wrangle them and get that done. 

digits below!

 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   Gym treadmill and walk around the market cool down. 39 minutes/1.83 miles; 11k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:

8am: 138
4:30pm: 105
11pm: 75

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine
10:15am: met+glip
11:15am: baked pizza cheese from geoff's pizza bagels
12:15: BLT salad
6:30pm: met+glip
7:15: small bowl of spaghetti & sauce and a lot of meatballs
9pm: jardiance
9:30pm: small ramekin of mixed nuts
white wine

Slow forward lean

Yesterday I was doing a call with a client and asked him how he was doing. He said "oh, slow forward lean." 

I told him I was unfamiliar with that as a concept, what did it mean? He said his dad was a Marine and would say it all the time. Just keep moving forward, slowly, lean into it, go. 

It reminded me of a song by Guster called "The Captain," where they sing "Face forward. Move slow. Forge ahead." And he completely agreed. 

He emailed me this morning and said he listened to the song, and loved at the end when they sing Onward over and over. 

It made me happy to hear that. And yes, Onward. I kind of just feel like this. My friend Kacey has Onward tattooed to her wrist with little waves underneath it. 

I think it is a lovely tattoo. 

Anyway, work things were so busy today. C emailed me and asked if I was ok because she sent me 2 emails and I had not responded, which is not on brand for me. True true true. At the end of the day, I set the laptop down, and I feel like I am done with typing. I do not type well on the cel phone, and if I'm alone I'll voice to text, but ... once the laptop is down I'm not picking it up again. Except to throw together a blog entry, like this one! 

Tomorrow I have to dive face down in a spreadsheet and cross check all the possible URLs that we may have on our DNS at work (that's the project) because I'm down to my last client, the very last, and I just want to check to see if anyone is still accidentally on our servers. The infrastructure manager J is hilarious. She has this giant spreadsheet she shared with me and said "If they are not on our DNS, mark'em Red. Red is Dead." and I love it. 

So a couple days of good little mottos. Slow forward lean, Red is Dead, and Face Forward, Move Slow, Forge Ahead.... 

I'm glad I got out for a walk today. Doug took Toffee one direction and I went with Dahlia another. I came back 20 minutes before he did because I wanted to get dinner in the oven. So Dahlia could use a much longer walk, but she's so much better on the leash than Toffee and I felt like I just wanted to manage her, and not the distance. 

Had no problem hitting the 10k before 9pm though. Accomplishments! 

Digits below this picture of Dahlia from 7am. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  25 min walk w/Dahlia/ 1.18 miles. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 138
5pm: 105
10:30pm: 119

food:

coffee/water
8:15am: phentermine
9:30am: met+glip
10:15am: english muffin w/pb & cherry preserves
5:30pm: met+glip
6:30pm: chicken parm (3/4 of the serving I took)
8:30pm: jardiance

Where the hell did I put it

Update: Found it. I set it on the coffee table, and someone put unopened mail on top of it. I may be that someone. 

Today, I needed to use my Capital One card, and I can never remember the security code. I have it saved in my computer but the security code always has to be entered. Safety thing. 

I used it last week at the restaurant when we took my friend Amy out to dinner. I was not wearing pants with pockets. I didn't wear a coat. I had my purse and my wallet, but no credit card inside either. Hmmm. Where'd. it. go. 

I tore the house apart, so in the morning I have to call the restaurant to see if I left the card on the table or something. Or maybe it fell out of my pocket into the car's passenger seat or something. I checked the account online and no one has used the card so this is a good sign. 

Funny thing is I have not misplaced anything in the longest time. I've been so organized and have kept things where they are supposed to always be. Damn. So the thing I need to buy can wait until I find this stupid card. 

Speaking of buying things, I need to take myself for a pedicure, and go to a store and find something nice/fancy to wear to the symphony. And maybe some shoes. Probably should have done it last weekend, but at least I have this weekend. Hopefully I find the card between now and Saturday. or Sunday. 

digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Indoor walk ending with  a stroll with dogs around the yard. 35 min/1.67 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:15am: 136
5pm: 113
10pm: 98

food:

coffee/water
9:15am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
1:15pm: bowl of chicken salad; a few slices of turkey
5:30pm: met+glip
6:30pm: large bowl of Mac&cheese w/hamburger
9:45pm: jardiance
white wine

Spring or Summer or Fake Spring

The other day I was driving to the gym in a T-shirt and yoga pants and roasting my butt off. Windows down, cranking Genesis "Land of Confusion" because it is so apt as of late. 

I drove by people who were wearing winter parkas, snow hats, gloves. 

It was 75 degrees. 

That's Maryland for ya. I'm sweating balls. People are bundled up. There's a light breeze. They may die. 

It was 75 degrees, then 60, then yesterday it was super weird, we were supposed to get storms and they didn't materialize (a little thunder at midnight but, nothing really). 70 degrees. And today, 50 and windy. 

I did a little indoor walk when Doug took the car to the garage. 20 minutes was perfect, and I was on time for work! It was like a commute. Then Doug took Dahlia for a walk, and I tried to take Toffee but it was so windy and much colder than I thought, so we didn't go far. It was just enough for her too. 

Because we didn't get a good solid complete walk, I found myself with 1300 steps to do before bed. Took little miss house arrest around the building 5 or 6 times, brought her in and then went up and down the street once. Wore my winter coat. Because it was appropriate. And I reached my goal. Yay! 

This afternoon I had to loop a couple team members in on a message to a client who has not replied to any of my emails since February. They have to do what I need them to do, or we're shutting off their website when we turn the server off.

It's one of those things where I feel like sure, turn off the server? Let's just do it and see if they reply? But I figured I'd reach out to my boss and their account manager to get some extra power behind my shoulders. 

Sometimes, you gotta. 

Anyway. That's what I've got. Still need to pick our Saturday gathering before the Guster show. Got derailed this weekend. 

Digits below!

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. indoor walk. 20 min/.86 miles. outdoor walk but only 10 min due to the wind. .47 miles; 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 137
4:30pm: 122
11pm: 106

food:

coffee/water
8:30am: phentermine
10:30am: met+glip
12:15pm: chicken salad and romaine on a low carb whole wheat wrap
5pm: met+glip
6pm: quiche & small roll
6:30pm: goat cheese+cherry preserves mixed on 1/2 a roll (yum) 
7:30pm: ramekin of mixed nuts; white wine
9:30pm: jardiance

House Arrest

Dahlia isn't allowed outside without a leash now. Which makes her sad. Toffee runs laps around the house, and Dahlia just stands there looking at her. She gave me a little bit of stink eye this afternoon, but hey. If you didn't jump the fence, you could be living large.

She walks very nicely next to me when we stroll and I let the leash be slack so she can go far. I call "hey! no." when she gets a little too far or starts to get after something, like people on the sidewalk or the neighbor's little terror dog. 

She settles down alright. I am truly hoping we don't have to live like this. I want her to be able to run run run! 

We were supposed to get some nasty weather today. Doug and I talked about dog walkies, but at about 4pm he went to take a nap and no weather had come. So I took myself to the gym. Geoff took Dahlia for a walk, much to Toffee's sadness (and I'm sure Doug's annoyance). I had asked him if he wanted to walk the dogs and he said no - otherwise I would have taken one, and he the other. 

Got in some good distance at the gym, minding the clock so I could grab a couple things for tomorrow's dinner and head home. 

In the morning, Doug is taking the mini back to the mechanic. We have a fuel pump thingie thing that the guy had to order and it came in at the end of the week, so he's going to take care of that. No gym tomorrow I don't think, so if the weather that we were expecting doesn't just show up tomorrow, I'll try and get a walk in with a dog. 

Or, I'll walk in the house while Doug takes the car to the shop. That seemed to work well for me last week. 

Anyway. Again, no good pictures from today. Slacking! 

Digits below!

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   Gym, Treadmill and the market, woot. 41 min total (30 of that treadmill) / 1.87 miles. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 134
5pm: 154
10pm: 108

food:

coffee/water
10am: phentermine
11:30am: met+glip
2:30pm: english muffin w/tuna salad (mayo/celery)
5:15pm: met+glip
6pm: small chunk of pork loin, about 8 pierogis
white wine
8:30pm: jardiance

5am, March 16th...

Happy Guster Day. Or Happy JOTR Day. Whichever you choose. 
Behave accordingly. 

 

5 a.m. March 16
Jesus on the radio, you took a photograph of me
On your yellow bucket seat
It's too high, it's too wide, you're so low, you don't know
To get through to go around 

So don't look back there ain't nothing there to see
Was once like you, can't say I recognize that face in that picture that you keep
t's too high, it's too wide, you're so low, you don't know
To get through to go around, to get through to go around 

No Gym, No Problem

I thought Doug may be going down for a nap around 3pm when Geoff left for the market. But he told me he wanted to take Dahlia for a walk and invited me. I kind of wasn't in the mood, but I realized how sad Toffee would be without getting a walk herself... so I went. And, to be honest, why go to the gym and walk if I can be with my family, right?

Doug usually goes much further than I want. He turns a left when I want to go straight, work back around, and head home. Today he didn't do that, but I was prepared for him to. I felt pretty good about our trip, and Toffee was being pretty good on the leash. We tightened her harness across her chest, and that seemed to help a lot for her pulling. 

He did end up taking a nap after we got home, I made dinner. I was going to make a sausage and goat cheese quiche but when I cooked the sausage it was behaving weirdly and tasted a little gross even though it wasn't smelly... I thought better of it, and made french bread pizza. I used some of the leftover peppers and onions from the fajitas, and boy did that just taste great on the pizza. 

The dogs are out cold. We need to do this more often with them. Toffee doesn't really need it as much but Dahlia does. Happy to see her having such a good time today. 

Both dogs crashed all evening. Dahlia is on "house arrest," meaning she has to go out of the house on a leash, with a human, end of story. I took the dogs out before bed tonight, and she just stood there. Confused. I walked around the house a few times and she came with, but she didn't do her usual business. 

I let her off the leash and she found a piece of charcoal and ate it.

Why, Dahlia.... why. 
Anyway, we'll be keeping the bedroom door closed tonight, so if she gets up, she can't just go to the corner behind the dog bed and poop. She's done that twice. 

We have to monitor this little girl like a hawk, I guess. 

Anyway, everyone is in bed. Waiting for me. Toffee just came out of the bedroom and looked at me like ... "Lady, what's up!" 

No photo today. too busy walking! Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Big dog walkies. 32 min/1.59 miles, then a rest and I turned off my fitbit tracking of the exercise while we rested. Walk home was 8 min/.42 so just a hair over 2 miles. And I didn't complain one bit. 11k+steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

8am: 135
5pm: 103
11pm: 99

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
10:30am: met+glip
11:30am: english muffin w/pb and cherry preserves
5pm: 6 girl scout cookies
5:30pm: met+jardiance (on accident)
6pm: white wine
6:30pm: one piece of french bread pizza (left over peppers + onions from fajitas, turkey pepperoni, fresh mushrooms, mozz, sauce) 
another glass of white wine
9pm: glip

Counterclockwise and Steeplechase

The past couple days I've been taking a little extra time on my hourly steps to go outside and walk around the yard with the dogs. For some reason, they always go out the door and go counterclockwise. It's kind of funny. I then sing the song Counterclockwise by Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. It puts a smile on my face to think of that song. 

Today, our mailman's truck was outside so Toffee wanted to go out. She watched him walk up the street to the north. Patient. Spying. Waiting. Hoping. He came around to our side street and saw her, and laughed. She knows if she waits, she gets a treat.

Dahlia loses her mind, well, because of the treat but also because she's just barky at all humans. Dave the mailman is used to it. 

I took these pictures right before treats. Look how lovely our mailman is. 

Then, right after the treat, she ran around the yard, and jumped the fence. Cleared a 4 ft high fence like a steeplechase horse. Straight up and over. 

Dave and I were both shocked. He wasn't afraid and tried to grab her. I went out the gate and Toffee came with me right on my heels because DAVE!. Dahlia would not stop running around in circles. Dave threw a treat into the yard while I had the gate open and Toffee went in. So did Dahlia. Hooray! Victory! No.

She jumped again. 

She ended up doing it four times, and I ran to get her leash, the poor guy needed to go finish his route!!! and he's holding her collar. Doug came out and we leashed her, he brought her inside. And Dave laughed as he walked away. 

That should have counted as more exercise. 

Busy day today. Had a couple good meetings and one where I just honestly wanted to tell the guy on the other end that I actually know what I'm talking about and to please just listen, or Monday is going to stink when we go to do the thing we need to do. Just.... please listen. I'm a subject matter expert on this thing. Trust me. 

We'll see how Monday goes. 

Looking forward to not thinking about the guy. Or the work. Or anything. 

Here are some daffodils from our yard. They're on the side of the house where we never go unless we're walking a dog counterclockwise. I should replant them somewhere easier to enjoy. But for now, they're a lovely treat when coming around the bend. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. walk outside around the house w/Dahlia, 15 min/.59 miles (slow and easy) 8500+ steps by bedtime (shoulda pushed it to 10k) 

blood glucose:

9am: 148
4:30pm: 113
11pm: 135

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
11:30am: English Muffin w/2 slices of cheddar cheese and turkey
5:30pm: met+glip
6:15pm: bowl of mac & cheese w/kielbasa
8pm: ramekin of cashews
9:30pm: jardiance

Easy to Slack

Over the last two days I didn't hit the 10k step goal that the fitbit likes. I've increased my daily steps to hit over 5k and hopefully up to 7k without taking a proper walk. I think 4 or 5 days a week for the past couple weeks I've hit the 10k. Walk/jogging on the treadmill at the gym has been a huge help in hitting the step count. Around here, if I don't push to do, it's hard to accomplish.

Doug wanted to take Dahlia for a walk after work, which made Toffee very sad. I wrapped some things up and grabbed her. She is horrible on the leash, but she does this cute thing when she sees another dog and she wants so desperately to run over to the dog... she sits down and looks at me. 

I'm not sure when she learned that, but hell yes little girl, that's delightful. Here's a cookie. So I was asking her to sit at almost every corner, and she did. Wow. Now if she'd just heel and not walk in front of me zig zagging all around, and twisting to stop and sniff things. ugh. 

Dahlia is perfect on the leash, next time I'm taking her!

At 5pm it is prime dog walking time in these parts, so there are a lot of dogs to see. Dahlia is not so cool when she sees other dogs, so that's something she needs worked on.

I pre-cooked some of the dinner ingredients for Geoff at around 4pm, and he was coming home as we were leaving. I wanted to grill a little chicken because his recipe had no protein to it. "There's protein in broccoli," he said. Not enough I replied. Not with the pasta being so much of the dish. So when I got home I sat quietly in the yard and grilled the chicken, marinated in lemon, dill, garlic, thyme. Perfection. I'm looking forward to eating the rest of it for lunch tomorrow.

We sat quietly all evening after dinner watching Ade in Britain, which is pretty much the same stuff on every episode so it is getting a little repetitive. But still fun. And I realized I wouldn't get 10k today if I didn't go for a second walk, so I decided to head out for a quick neighborhood walk. It is cold but not windy, and I should have tacked on another block because I was about 600 steps away from 10k. I finished that in the house, but could have been totally done with another couple minutes. 

I put together one meet and greet for the Guster fans for 2 weeks from tomorrow and have to work on night 2. That gave me some fun and creativity time today and made me very happy.  

Not much else going on. Happy tomorrow is Friday. yay! No picture today. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Two walks. One with Toffee for 25 min/1.17 miles; then at 9pm to cram in more steps, 15 min/.73 miles. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 109
4:20pm: 128
10:30pm: 127

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
9am: Entenmann's chocolate donut
10:30am: met+glip
12:30pm: english muffin w/mayo, turkey, 2 slices of sharp cheddar
6:30pm: met+glip; pasta w/cream sauce, mushrooms and broccoli, 1/2 a chicken breast
9pm: jardiance

Midweek Dinner Out

Our friend Amy from Phoenix is passing through town today. She recently decided she was going to take herself on a trip she's dreamed of for years and she's off to Denmark and many other countries.  

The last time she came through the area it was a whirlwind. Her mom had died, and she flew to DC to connect with her sister so they could go to their hometown. We tried to connect but it just didn't work. So I was hugely excited that she wanted to be with us for a while here. 

We headed to Loudon County VA and had dinner with her, her sister, and her nephew. We talked about her trip and itinerary, our jobs, a little bit of politics, how they envy my job. The waiter overheard us and chimed in how he loves where I work and I shared a couple amusing stories. 

I do love my job and the work and the people. It was fun to sit and think about it and be reminded. 

Amy and I did some mean muggin' pose here and Doug did not get the vibe. That's okay. We still had a great time. Wishing her a great vacation. First time in her adult life she's gone on a solo trip, no kids, no nothing. I hope it is everything she ever dreamed of.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Mini-walk, a dedicated ten of .42 miles. 6700+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:

9:15am: 168
5pm: 128
10:45pm: 120

food:

coffee/water
9:15am: phentermine
11am: met+glip
12:30pm: giant bowl of chicken salad made with left over chicken fajita strips, onions, peppers, mayo, cream cheese
2:30pm: apple w/pb
5pm: met+glip
7:30pm: nice salad, 4 chicken wings, some bacon flavored popcorn. 3 beers
10pm: jardiance

Beer Instead

I scheduled a client meeting yesterday for 9am today, and immediately regretted it. I'm not good first hour (sometimes 2) of the day. But I'm having a difficult time getting this person to respond so he said he was free and I grabbed him.

He didn't join the zoom meeting. I gave my cel number to him, and he called me an hour after the meeting start time and realized he'd missed. 

"Were you able to log in and make the changes?" he asked.

"No, I am blocked from that platform for trying too many times so that's why I needed you to come to the meeting, and you do it, and I guide you." Previously he'd just given me his username and password to access this platform, something I would not do normally. But there is a verification process, and he gets the texts. And he isn't quick to reply when he gets the code... and the time expires. 

So we rescheduled, started a new meeting for 10am. He shared his screen, I walked him through the changes/updates. It was slow and painful. I hate watching other people copy paste, or try to scroll, and the platform we were working with infuriates me because it throws up 2 factor authentication every single time you try and make a change/adjustment. 

I know things are trying to protect us from teh haxorz and everything but crap on a cracker is it annoying. We haven't changed who we are since the last time we verified identity a few minutes ago. It's the same login session. Everything is the same. Oops we missed a field go back add it, oh my GOD another text. They have absolutely buried where they hide how to turn it off (jerks) and it was exhausting. 

But we got it done. Done! 

I had another one scheduled for 2pm and that went perfectly, quick as lightning. Done. Three clients left need to be helped out with this, one of them finally replied to my requests to meet up so we may do that on Friday. The other two are being silent. Driving me nuts. 

I was going to walk a dog but Doug went and took a nap. I was working and Geoff reminded me that he had class at 7pm so it was dinner cooking time. Shit. Okay. I whipped up the chicken and veggies and headed out to grill. Talked to my friend S who had to lay off a guy off at work, and she was sad. He's 24, and this is like his first real job. He was doing so well but they are under all this pressure because of the new administration. And she has to say goodbye to three of her 7 team members. 

She was super sad, and we had a good talk. But I felt deeply for her. We were going to go out so she could cry in her hard seltzer, but she forgot she had a board meeting for another project and needed to call into it. So we rain checked. 

Contemplated a walk after dinner, but had beer instead.

Here are some pictures. Some from around the yard, and some of some sleeping doggos. 

Hilariously - Toffee just put her legs around Dahlia's head while they were both asleep on the couch last night (left) on the right is my lap and 2 super snuggly dogs. So snuggly there was hardly any room for my body on the couch. 

I am not sure what is growing here. I noticed some sprouting coming up through the base of the deck umbrella that was sitting in the yard, so I moved it. Everything yellow hopefully will rebound?

Enjoy your bird seed, dogs. Once the bag is empty, no more seed for you!

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. No dedicated walk today. too busy. 7k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 134
4:30pm: 113
11pm: 139

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
11am: met+glip
12:30pm: giant bowl of BLT salad w/goat cheese
3:30pm: slice of multigrain bread toasted w/pb
7pm: 1 chicken fajita w/whole grain low carb fajita, cheese, sour cream, peppers, onion
8:30pm: met+glip (forgot to take before dinner)
a few beers while grilling & eating
10pm: 2 celery stalks w/pb jardiance

When your car clock turns right again

Daylight Saving always messes with all our heads. I think previously I'd posted that "dogs, kids, and software do not like daylight saving." 

First thing I do in the morning every day is pick up my phone, check the time. An hour until my alarm goes off? yeah, try and go back to sleep. Yesterday the dogs woke me up, I saw it was 7:45am and I'd just get up because they were needy. 

I realized my ringer and notifications were off. Which is okay - I have not been on call for work since we reorganized our team. But I had a missed call, from my mom, at 5:30am. 

5:30am. Jesus. What's she calling me for at 5:30am? 

No voicemail was left so I called her back. it was a little before 8am. She answered immediately and I asked if she was okay, what's up. She laughed. 

"I was trying to change the time on my phone, and accidentally called you. I hung up immediately because I didn't want it ringing and waking you up, and making you worry at 5 in the morning."

"Better than 4 in the morning," I answered and she laughed. She wakes up most mornings at 4 am, and she had changed her other clocks that needed changed before she went to bed but couldn't figure out the phone. So. At 4am, there she is, trying to figure out her phone. 

"I read the instructions and there's all this shit about bluetooth and I don't know what that is, and I was pressing things and called you accidentally."

At 4 in the morning, you wake up and choose violence. And by violence I mean messing with your phone settings without knowing what you're doing. 

I told her she should just leave it and it'll be right in November when we change back. "You don't use your phone to tell time, you've got so many other devices to look at, just leave it. It'll be right in a couple months."

Of course that's not something she can live with, so she'll obsess until she either figures it out or until someone comes over to help her. One of the people who helps her the most is going to Florida on vacation, so she may just have to sit and stew for like 10 days. 

It's funny because a couple days ago I was looking at the clock in our mini cooper and it was an hour ahead of the actual real time, and I knew it was, so I was unbothered. Look at me, living and surviving with a clock that is off by an hour.

And now, today, it's right again. Hallelujah. 

So we had a nice early morning catch up session. I heard all about who is sick, someone had a car accident by hitting a deer but she will soon be traveling, someone mysteriously brought up her trash barrel. 

"So how about those fires on Long Island?"
"That's something about those kids in Texas (ie: Measles)."
She keeps up with the current events and has opinions. 

She also wants us to get rid of Daylight Saving... I gotta say I'm with her for the most part. 

Doug went up to the garage yesterday morning to get all our stuff out of the car that died. He arranged to have it picked up, we had to wait to get a copy of the title from the registry and it finally came this past week. While he was up there, I asked Geoff if he wanted to walk a dog and I'd walk the other. He said he wasn't in the mood. okay. 

Did an indoor walk because I wasn't sure what our afternoon was going to be like. I finished right as Doug got home. 

Because Daylight Saving makes a mess of my brain, I tried to take a nap at 2pm. That did not work. I have not been able to fall asleep during the day lately. Doug took a nap with the dogs, and when he woke up he suggested we walk them and try to do it together. The last couple of times didn't go well. Whoever is in the back (dogs wise) is always upset. I tried to allow Toffee some extra leash so she could get up next to Dahlia but she only almost tripped Doug and their leashes got tangled. So we abandoned that plan. 

Doug wanted to go further but my right shoulder hurt from her pulling on the leash and me trying to keep her at heel. I was ready to turn home. I will say, compared to a couple trips ago, they did better. Add to the fact that it was super nice out, it was a good walk. Not quite a mile and a half. Another block and we would have had close to 2. I need to sometimes convince myself that I can actually do more. 

When we got back, we sat out in the yard and had a beer. We talked about the yard and gardening.

Today Doug went to trade in the dead Dodge, and then he went up to the registry of motor vehicles to drop off the license plates. I did a walk when he went up to get the car towed and another one when he went to the registry. I was going to walk a dog but leaving one alone means she'll lose her mind. And Geoff didn't want to take one. Tomorrow. I promise.

We walked around the yard a lot today, me and the dogs. Dahlia is a little better behaved when she has adult supervision. 

Doug finished our taxes and submitted them. Done and dusted. 

A big busy Monday in these parts, I guess. 

I took pictures but they are on my phone, forgot to transfer them. I'll save them for tomorrow! 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  30 min/1.48 miles and then 20 min/.5 miles. 11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 151
5pm: 150
10pm: 89

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
12:30pm: 2 low carb small wraps done quesadilla style w/shredded cheddar, bacon, turkey, mayo
5:30pm: met+glip
6:30pm: chese burger without a bun
8:45pm: jardiance
10pm: 2 stalks of celery w/pb

Daylight Saving Blahhhhhhhhh

I have an actual entry I can write but I'll save it for tomorrow. Highlights for today: 

• Dahlia slept until 7:45 which I thought she would. good girl 
• Doug went to empty stuff out of our Dead Dodge, and I did an indoor walk for 20 min, unsure of what the day would bring.
• We ended up taking a good walk together, not too much pulling (I had Toffee, and she wants to walk with Doug). We could have gone longer but I was ready to head back
• It was gorgeous out today. 60 degrees, sunny, we sat outside before dinner and had a beer, and talked about the patio. It is too early to plan plants and flowers, but I felt enlivened and ready

That's about it. More tomorrow. Here are the dogs. I had a treat in my right hand and wanted them to sit nice. Toffee got impatient. Ha.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 2 walks. One inside while Doug went to run an errand. 1 mile/20 min. Then we walked the dogs together, 25 min/1.19 miles. 11k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

7:45am: 125
5pm: 134
10pm: 144

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine
10:30am: met+glip
11:30am: english muffin w/pb& full sugar preserves
3pm: 2 good yogurt
5pm: met+glip
6:30pm: 2 cluck pucks w/american cheese, no buns. A few french fries
1 beer
small bowl of cashews w/ a lil' trail mix that had raisins and m&ms in it.
10pm: jardiance

Walkies and Taxes

We had yet another quiet Saturday in these parts. 

Doug did our taxes. We owe the state, we are getting from the feds. It all evens out nicely. 

Geoff went to the market, and took Toffee for a walk. Doug went to take a nap because taxes are hard so Dahlia very much needed a walk. I wanted him to take her, but he was in nap mode so, I took her because she was losing her shit at Geoff being out of the house with Toffee. 

To be honest, she is a joy to walk on the leash when it is just us. I put on the playlist, we went a certain route, I added an extra block but should have added another. This was a good walk. 

I got home and Geoff started cooking dinner, not much more exciting happening. We watched a comedian named Andrew Schultz' new special on Netflix. Parts of it were hilariously funny, especially as he talked about the entire IVF process he and his wife went through. A mix of ribald and ridiculous, and touching and human. Just how one would like comedy.

I thought of friends who just welcomed a baby they had to fight to get made. They had IVF and twins, a couple years ago but a genetic problem resulting in the fact that the babies would not make it to delivery resulted in them deciding to let them go.

Walking through all of this with her, talking about it, the heartbreak and the pain they experienced. Oh my goodness. 

So tonight I've spent a lot of time thinking about babies and how hard it is to do babies. And sometimes it is very easy, and sometimes not so much.

Anyway. My heart was heavy after watching his special. Not sure he'd expect that from a viewer but. Yeah.

Well, after our walks, both dogs were wiped out. I thought Toffee looked sweet in the one sunbeam in the house.

Digits, below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Dahlia walk: 25 minutes/1.28 miles. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 164
5pm: 178
10pm: 95

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine
10:30am: metformin+glipizide
11:30am: bowl of mac & cheese w/bacon
3pm: several Thin Mint cookies 
5pm: Metformin+glipizide
6pm: chili w/shredded cheese, fritos, sour cream
White wine w/diet ginger ale
8:30pm: jardiance

5k before noon

Before anyone is worried, I feel better today. Much better.

Dahlia woke up at 6:45am, per usual, like on the nose. She's amazing with that. On Sunday morning, that 6:45 will be 7:45 and I hope that her body rides the leap forward. 

I somehow made it the whole way through the night without waking up to pee. That's a miracle. 

She stood in front of me, staring at me, and she has this lil'whistle whimper so I opened my eyes and she saw me. Sigh. I got up with them, went to pee and they stood by the door. I fed them, let them out, went outside with them. 

I think we need an 8ft training lead for her, tie it off under the rhododendrons and she won't have enough length to make it to the fence. She barked at everyone, everyone, everyone. 7am is prime dog walking, people going to the metro, and kids going to the bus stop time. And I couldn't wait to get her back inside. I need a dog whisperer.

There is a lovely couple who live up the street and they have a young black lab. He's a very good boy. He doesn't bark or jump, but he does get very excited when he sees her. They walk a couple times every day. They have a baby in a stroller. They walk fast. I worry about the baby being cold. They seem unbothered. They say hello very nicely to Dahlia while she loses her mind. I really like them. And to say hi at 7am... good morning. I'm so sorry she's so loud.

We came back in and Doug was dressed and ready to drive the car up to the shop. While he was gone  I did a solid 30 min walk in the house. Geoff came upstairs and seemed surprised that I'd be listening to System of a Down, "I didn't think you liked these guys," he said. 

Au contraire. I sang along. "You! What do you owe the world! How do you own disorder, disorder!!!" and he laughed. 

I pointed out the speed of the song, told him that the playlist is so random but everything is good for either walking fast or jogging. This is a good jogging song (Toxicity) but it shifts tempo a lot. Next song, Square Hammer by Ghost. Followed by Pleasant Valley Sunday by the Monkees, which actually is a good jog. Geoff was entertained by the whole no format playlist. It made me smile.

Gotta say this up early in the morning nonsense pays off. I had nearly 6k steps by noon. My goal most days is to have 2k by noon. I usually fall short and achieve the 2k during the noon hour. But fuck yeah getting all these steps before starting to work. 

Why can't I be this way all the time? 

Work was good. I reached out to a number of slackers who still have not done what we need them to do. I found out there was a meeting I didn't get an invitation to and I probably should have. My manager didn't get an invite either so we griped about being left out. And when something breaks, he's on call and we jokingly said he won't respond to when he gets asked to provide ER support. I told him my phone would be turned off all day Sunday and I'll be hiding. 

We had a good laugh. 

Doug went to get the car around 6pm, stopped to get me milk, and picked up cheesesteaks and a dozen spicy korean wings from a place near the garage. So we ate on the late side. Dogs out for their pee, and bedtime for us. 

Goodnight.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Somehow missed noon? Not sure how that happened. Huh. Started the day with an indoor walk. 30 min/1.47 miles. 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 154
4:15pm: 109
10:30pm: 164

food:

coffee/water
8am: phentermine
8:30am: protein shake
10am: metformin+glipizide
10:30am: egg mcmuffin w/2 sausage patties, 2 slices of cheese, one perfect egg.
4:30pm: two ramekins of trail mix
6pm: metformin+glipizide
7:30pm: 1/2 a cheesesteak, 4 spicy wings

Dead Cars, Jumping Dogs, Hotel

I can't remember if I mentioned that our Dodge Avenger died. Doug got the title mailed to us (when we bought it, our address was listed at the old house, so we never got the title), and we're having it towed away on Monday from the garage where she sits. I appreciate our mechanic very much. 

Now the mini is doing horrible things. Bucking, not accelerating, check engine light. Tomorrow morning Doug is taking it up to a different mechanic  (our shop doesn't service Mini). The last time we needed work done it was the computer, which this shop we use can't work on, so it ended up at the dealership. 

Hopefully, we can get her fixed up at the local mechanic, and not have to go back to the dealership. 

Tomorrow, we'll have no car. And right now we need groceries. Which is sad. We have a lot of things that don't go together. I could make a nice quiche if I had pie crust OR the skills to make a pie crust from scratch. Maybe I'll learn how to do that tomorrow morning.

We're almost out of milk, but Geoff needed half and half for a recipe last week and we do have some left over. 

I could walk to Aldi. It is 2 miles. I could take an uber back, because I wouldn't want to carry any groceries 2 miles. 

I feel kind of like, I can't make decisions to do things, and I can't motivate myself to do things. My brain isn't kicking into "Do It" gear the way I am used to it ... and I feel stuck. 

Today, I let the dogs out before a 4pm meeting. Usually that's not a problem. I was doing my steps for the hour, and I happened to be standing in the livingroom when a young hight-school aged girl came running up my walkway to the door, I'd never seen her before, she looked anxious. I went to the door, and whipped it open. She apologized, and said "your dog jumped over the fence." 

I thanked her, profusely, and told her I was getting my boots on. She ran back down the walk and I got my shit together. Sweatshirt, boots, out the door. Toffee was losing her mind, and the girl had Dahlia by the collar on the other side of the fence.

I thanked her again, profusely. I asked her name, she told me, and she pointed to where she lived. Thanking her again, profusely, as Doug took Dahlia back to the house. 

Dahlia is now on house arrest. 

She's not allowed out without supervision. Busted. And also. Fuck. It is so easy to let these jerks out to do their business, while I'm working and now I'm going to go out with them. I took them out at 10:30. Soon it will be warm enough for flip flops but right now it is winter boots and coat time, still. I supervised while they both did what they had to do, and ushered them back into the house. No shenanigans. None.

We had a team meeting today and my boss' boss, our Senior VP, asked how we're doing at the end of the meeting. I kind of opened up and shared that I'm not doing very well. I hate everyone and everything, and I am barely holding it together. I can't focus, I can't get anything done, I start tasks, get distracted, and fall onto something else and then get mad because I didn't do the other thing that was more important. 

Confessing to my 4 coworkers and to her, that I am not my usual self. 

As always, I go to music, and lately it has been a lot of Frank Turner, especially this Haven't Been Doing So Well tune. Among others. 

It's a day with a Y in it so obviously I'm over it.

I said I'm not used to feeling like this. This isn't how I am. I'm the pollyanna. I'm the one who says "okay lads, let's just pull together and get through the day, shall we?" 

My work bestie told me when we met this week (we meet weekly to talk work and talk shit) "This is not very Christine of you," and she's right. One of my colleagues in the meeting recommended I might try and make use of some of the mental health resources our office provides, and he's right. He's absolutely right. 

He said, "I know you have friends to talk to, and co-workers who know you so well like [work wife] but sometimes the perspective of someone outside of your immediate cuddle circle is the person you should be talking to. I know this helps me." 

I think the nature of the universe right now, the "Flood the Zone" nature of what our administration is doing, the impact of all the things on the lives and well being of thousands of people, the uncertainty of what may happen to my own company (and whether or not it impacts my job?) I don't know. The car, the dogs, the fact I may not have enough milk for coffee tomorrow, Damn, son. It's a lot.

Another Frank Turner lyric is this: 

"The first time it was a tragedy
The second time is a farce
Outside it's 1933 so I'm hitting the bar."

Referencing the first Trump administration and Nazi Germany, the first time it was a tragedy (WWI and T45) the second time is a farce (WWII and T47).

And yeah, I have been drinking a whole lot less over the past couple months so it may be 1933, but I'm not hitting the bar, and I don't think that's the solution but. 

but.

Wow I'm super negative today. 

In other news, it's Thursday. And we're almost through the week, friends. Almost. That's the spirit, Chris. 

Maybe I just need a Guster concert. And I'm getting two in a couple weeks. As long as nothing changes. As long as they or the Kennedy Center do not cancel. I'm hanging my hat and my mental health on this right now. 

Something I've been procrastinating on is the plans for that weekend. Tonight, I booked our hotel for the weekend. Me and Linz. Can't wait. I guess maybe yeah, I feel better already spending money on hotels when I live 6 miles away from the destination. 

Sorry not sorry.

No picture today (you can tell when I'm in a shitty way when I'm not taking pictures, right?) 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Indoor walk, 10 min/.43 miles. 6600+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 124
6pm: 134
11pm: 90

food:

coffee/water
9am: phentermine
10:30am: metformin+glipizide
12:30pm: multigrain toast w/pb and a smidge of cherry preserves
3pm: ramekin of kettle corn
6pm: metformin+glipizide
6:30pm: chinese food: pork and garlic sauce, some shrimp lo mein, general gao's chicken, 3 pan fried dumplings, 1 spring roll. 
a very very strong vodka tonic (to kill the bottle)
9:30pm: jardiance