Patio Life

I went out to the patio this morning. Complaining about the heat all summer means I am going to soak as much of that space in as humanly possible until it is too cold to sit out. 

To be honest, it was cold to sit out. 

I put on a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants, but didn't give up on my flip flops. 

Toffee came out with me, and last week she ran over one of my feet and clawed one of my toes. Today, same thing. 

Ouch! 

Forgiveness. It's the risk one takes. 

Doug came out to join me at about noon. With a beer! I laughed, like "what is this, Brunch o'clock?" a reference to my sister's philosophy that if you're up for 2 hours, you can turn on the Brunch Clock and start drinking. 

He answered, "It's after noon, and it's game day."

Oh yeah. Football. 

The Steelers were actually on TV here, since the Ravens played Thursday and the Washington Team plays at 4. 

"I wasn't going to watch, but, it's the Steelers." 

Of course it is. And our new TV is very nice for the game. 

I sat out until it was almost game time, came in, and settled in with him to watch. He took a big nap, I did a bunch of work, including moving stuff around downstairs to undo some of the chaos that Geoff put into play (he dumped a bunch of shit in the storage room where I was organizing things previously). 

After his nap, he took Toffee for a walk while I was still making a tidy. I did a solid 30+min indoors that counted as exercise according to the fitbit. 

I grilled, sat outside until it got dark. Making the most of that outdoor space before it becomes unusable.

Digits below this picture of something I saw on our walk the other day that I loved.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 34 min. indoor walk. 10k+ steps by bedtime 

blood glucose:

10am: 212 (eep)
4pm: 160
10:30pm: 140

food:
coffee/water
10am: protein shake
12:30: english muffin w/cream cheese and a bunch of turkey; metformin
1pm: small piece of 647 bread w/pb, splitting w/Toffee to give her meds
6pm: chicken breast w/ salad of spinach, cherry tomatoes, red onion, a little potato salad
7pm: metformin+jardiance
8:30pm: a cup or so of candied cashews
red wine and diet ginger ale

Sitting in the Middle of Chaos

 This morning, we passed on the idea of going to a bluegrass festival nearby because the forecast was super grim. Anticipated front coming through, would drop the temp 20 degrees, bringing hail and thunderstorms. 

No one wants to be sitting in a field watching a banjo, mandolin, upright bass breakdown and have to evacuate. 

Doug also doesn't feel well today. I think we're both a little burned out. 

To be honest, I need a day to revisit the Doing A Tidy concept. Geoff took the dog for a walk and then decided he wanted to go to Target. He is out of toothpaste and used all our wee ones from the dentist. We needed laundry pods and dishwashing tablets. I wanted nuts for making candied nuts (like you do). 

He asked me what our plans were for today and I told him I wanted to tidy. I said he could be my helper down in the basement. 

He laughed and said "It's mission accomplished down there. I did everything already." 

"No, you set the TV up after you cleaned up your academic program remnants and threw some things out. The place is still a disaster down there. Just because you have a spot where you can sit and watch TV doesn't mean it is clean."

"It's good enough," he replied.

"Good enough isn't all the way right. Doesn't it bother you to sit down there in the middle of chaos?" I asked him.

Again, he laughed, "What, you talk like it is living in the middle east, in Gaza or something. It's fine." 

I guess we disagree, but I desperately want to get organized. So I decided to start with my room. I always always have laundry to fold. And I said I wasn't going to take pictures because I find it self-shaming. It's nothing like Doug's Aunt's house but good grief this could be much better and my level of effort won't have to be so high once it is done. 

Doug was napping in the guest room with the dog and I thought about going to the gym and started on the laundry, then got distracted by the kitchen and dining table. I unpacked 3 boxes Doug brought home when he was last at his mom's. Books I don't want or need, and a bunch of paperweights that have been sitting here in the living room. Paperweights I'd promised to a college friend. Found 'em. Packing them to go north in 2 weeks. 

When Doug woke up we decided to grab a walk even though Toffee had one earlier today. Doug walked a route he usually walks with an extra block thrown in. It wasn't bad. It had rained but the sun was out, so the roads were bright and shiny, and the heat was rising. Our walk took a little more than a half hour, it felt good to go and talk together. 

Geoff made dinner while we were out, so it was ready and waiting. Which was super nice. It's also nice because when he's hungry he takes the initiative to make the meals. 

Geoff is working tomorrow, the forecast is 72 and sunny. Maybe we'll do yardwork, or maybe we'll go somewhere and have fun if Doug's feeling up to it. 

Digits, below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 35 min. outdoor walk; 8600+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 180
4pm: 190
10:45pm: 196 (should have had a protein shake after the ice cream...)

food:
coffee/water
11am: ramekin of mac & cheese w/bacon; metformin
5:30pm: 3 frozen burritos w/sour cream, cheese, salsa
6:15pm: metformin+jardiance
8pm: some vanilla ice cream w/ defrosted strawberries
red wine+gingerale

Decidedly not a morning person

I think I've said this many times before. 

I am not a morning person.

Your girl just does not function well before 10am. I need coffee, I need to putz and putter. I just need to not dive in hard but dive in when ready.  

Last night's Emergency had me busy to 11pm. I missed the football game. I went to bed and heard Doug yelling things, but I fell asleep rather fast. Then this morning, my phone rang a little after 8am - and it was another emergency but for a different product. Great. I guess I'm up?

I called the client, got her story, told her I literally had just woken up. She laughed and I said "yeah, I'd make a rotten early morning DJ..." I told her I'd get coffee, dive in. And I did. And it was painful. 

By the end of the day, it still isn't fixed and it is happening to all the client sites. And it was a huge struggle to not lose my shit at one point around 3pm in a meeting. 

I anger walked/stomped in the house while Doug took Toffee out. I wanted to walk with him, but didn't want to if he was going on his usual really long walk. Turns out he came back after 15 or 20 minutes, took a short walk that I could have tolerated and gone outside into the world. I walked longer in the house. 

We ordered Chinese food, because neither of us felt like cooking. And when it arrived, I was still walking, and I walked while Doug & Geoff got their food. I went outside and walked around the house twice. I really should have gone on a real and decent walk. 

I got my food and got pinged by work from someone late to the game and discussion "Is this still happening?"

I literally almost screamed. They brought all kinds of suggestions that we'd already tried. I literally just thanked them, said "this is still happening and i'm not sure what to do at 6pm on a friday" and i closed my computer. 

The good news is I solidified my travel arrangements for a quick trip up to Massachusetts. We're seeing Guster on Sept 21st, so I'm going to spend a couple days with C, meet up with Linda, Ginger, Jess, see the show, take Ginger around to places like Salem (where she's never been) and we'll drive back to NY to fly home to the family. 

I'm fighting with the air bnb host that we were supposed to get a stay "any date, any time" with after cancelations and snafus, and he's pissing me off (I was in the middle of a discussion with him last night when the Emergency thing happened) so I'm right now ready to flip a desk. But. I've made the arrangements I need for this trip and I'm happy for that. 

And Guster played a show in Atlanta tonight, a friend was there live streaming from the front row, and let me tell you. At one point Ryan asked Adam how he was feeling on a scale of 1-10 and Adam said 8.9, I went into watching this stream feeling about 3.4. 

It brought me up to at lest 8.9 with Adam. Super thankful that she did this. A little screenshot grab from her stream. Just to say yay. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  25 min indoor walk; 7k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 165
4pm: 141
11:45pm: 145

food:
coffee/water
11:30am: giant salad with spinach, cherry tomatoes, avocado, goat cheese, bacon, red onion, mayo
Noon: metformin
4:30pm: apple w/pb
6:30pm: chinese food fest. stayed away from rice. focused on beef & broccoli; spring rolls, 3 pan fried dumplings, chicken curry
7pm: metformin+jardiance
9pm: large chunk of Gouda cheese
red wine + blueberry lemonade seltzer 

Marigolds and Mushrooms

Last night Doug went to bed and I continued working until a little before midnight. My brain could not make work do thing, think brain go. I packed the laptop up, and looked into the bedroom. Doug was asleep, the dog was asleep, my brain was still spinning, realizing I left a thing off the spreadsheet. I wanted to go back and correct that but instead wrote it down. You need to stop obsessing on this spreadsheet. 

Bed. 

I wanted to listen to a podcast, so I headed to the guest room so I wouldn't disturb Doug and Dog. 

I think I heard 4 minutes of the podcast before I fell asleep fully. I didn't just kind of fall asleep, I woke up at 4 and wondered what the hell truck just hit me. Toffee was up against my back, so she found me at some point in the night, and I couldn't roll over so I had to just get up. Good thing too, go pee. 

Restarted the podcast and got to hear 4 more minutes of it, asleep again. 

I woke up organically before 8, which for me is weird. Up before Doug. Up before Toffee. Up before Geoff. I stayed on the bed a while, just thinking about the spreadsheet. 

Luckily, my colleague I'm working with starts work at 7:30 so she had time to look it over and approved of the work (I don't know that she has any idea how long that thing took me). 

We came outside to work today, me and Toffee. Another perfect weather day. 

And for a picture today....

Yesterday when I watered the plants, I noticed some shrooms growing in my marigolds. It was a perfect little cluster, and they were so cute, plump, shiny, that they made me smile. I decided this morning to take a picture. 

They changed a lot in less than 24 hours. Gross and shriveled, meh. Not so pretty. Amazing though how quickly they changed. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 20 min indoor walk. 6500+ steps by bedtime (a work emergency sat me down for 2 solid hours so I didn't get to do night time wanderings.

blood glucose:

8am: 167
4pm: 125
10:15pm: 190

food:
coffee/water
10:30am: english muffin w/pb and a little cherry preserves
noon: metformin
2pm: big chunk of havarti cheese 
6:30pm: mac & cheese w/hamburger; metformin+jardiance
10pm: big chunk of Gouda cheese

Toffee's Christmas Morning Energy

Doug had to go to the office today. He got up at 7:30 with the dog, got her fed and outside, and he headed to the shower. Geoff let her in, and she was going absolutely bonkers, so I ended up ... Up.  Usually in the mornings she has a little nice energy burst, very happy to see all her people, but wow - today was next level energy from her. And this felt so extra early to me. So early.

I got out toys, and she chased balls and ran around the house, and tossed the stuffed animal carcasses around like a monster playing with the remains of its kills. Rawr! Doug was hilariously entertained by her frenzied action time, which he could hear while he was in the shower. 

"She's got Christmas Morning energy!" he exclaimed. Which I thought was nothing but perfect.

We've been giving her benadryl for the rash on her chest. I have to say she's unbothered by the rash, which is nice. I watched all kinds of videos of dogs trying to scratch their itches in places they can't reach. And we continue to spray the spray medication on her chest, which she does not like. 

Since Doug went to the office, it was clean some things without him being in the way day. I stripped the beds and put the sheets in the wash. We had a bunch of damp towels from Toffee's bath the other day that needed washed. I had a list of things to grab and attend to, but, the project I'm working on had a piece move up for due date from the 18th to tomorrow, eep. Focusing on getting that done was a big challenge, and it curtailed some of the other things I wanted to do, like vacuum. 

Geoff got home from work and he & I made dinner, Doug didn't get home until after 7. I thought about taking Toffee for an actual walk, instead of just walking around the house outside and in, but knowing I have a deadline for something tomorrow morning, well, that kept me focused. I was happy to get the steps I did. 

Doug is asleep on the couch as I write this. I dressed the bed, and got all the laundry up from the basement. I usually have Geoff do this because walking up and down the stairs holding a basket of laundry but I did it all today. Be proud of me. 

I'm staying up late (it is after 11) to get all the way through this little part of the project that had the deadline move.... I wouldn't do this if my WorkWife didn't ask me. She starts work at 7 so I want this DONE for her ... and I'll be online after 9 tomorrow. 

Part of me wants to take an anxiety walk but.... I will just drink lemonade and vodka until I can fall asleep. I need to go to target and get zquill..... that makes a world of difference in falling asleep for me. But right now, Toffee is out cold with her head under my lap desk, Doug is over there snoring, and I'm going to post this and finish my project thing before I roll off to bed. 

digits below this wonderful picture of my lapdesk and well, my dog... 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 21 minute inside and outside stroll; 7700+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 165
5pm: 142
10:30pm: 179

food:
coffee/water
10:30am: english muffin w/pb
11am: metformin
1pm: bowl of yogurt w/blueberries
5:30pm: rosé (1.5 glasses filled with ice)
6:30pm: metformin+jardiance; sloppy joe mess from Aldi (pork and sauce) over left over peppers & onions, a couple french fries
8pm: potato roll w/pb (the sad lonely potato roll needed me)
vodka+lemonade

Grilling

It was such a gorgeous day, again. Today I sat out on the patio and worked before dinner. It actually was cool enough in the shade that I got a sweatshirt. 

And no, that's just plain lemonade. No additives until dinner time. 

I lit the citronella candle, for ambiance and to ... ward off the bitey bugs. I saw a news report that September is supposed to be cold in these parts, I hope it isn't too cold - that we get to enjoy the weather and outside before it is no fun. Toffee spent the day out with me, and we had a super nice time. 

We ran out of propane the other night, and I forgot. So I'd made a nice marinade and got everything ready only to have no fuel. Doug went out after a big nap and hooked us up. 

I think I officially spent more time outside in the yard today than most of the summer combined. 

Enjoy this picture of patio Toffee. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  18 minute walk all around the house; 7k by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 171
5pm: 146
10:30pm: 141

food:
coffee/water
12:30: metformin; english muffin w/pb (no preserves) 
7:30pm: grilled chicken thighs, avocado, chipotle corn w/beans, sauteed onions and peppers
8pm: metformin+jardiance
vodka+lemonade

Bathed and Harnessed

Today was the winning day of the weekend. Perfect temps, everything lovely. We got ourselves pulled together by about 1pm and went to the pet store. 

Toffee has had a wild, bright pink, bumpy rash on her chest. Yesterday I noticed between her toes looked raw and red, too. 

She is absolutely unbothered, which is nice, but it is also like .... holy shit you're broken! Doug did some reading and Staffies and Pits are known for skin irritation and allergies. She probably has just been a little too much in the heat and dry grasses. 

We decided first step was an oatmeal bath. And we also got some spray to put on her toes and chest to help reduce the inflammation and annoyance. If she doesn't show some improvement this week we'll check in with the vet. 

So bathtime. 

It went very well. We used the tub, and on second thought probably should have used the utility sink in the basement. I thought she wouldn't fit but she might. She was so good, she sat when we told her to, and it was hilarious how water repellent she is! She was so patient, and didn't try to fight or escape. We were super impressed. 

We got her a reward for after the bath, well two rewards. One was a cute stuffed bat. It was 5 dollars, and we both knew it was not going to last long. 

Little did we know, it would be less than 40 seconds before she had the wing torn off and stuffing everywhere. Doug retrieved the squeaker so she wouldn't swallow it, and she proceeded to just shred the entire thing. 

I knew it wasn't going to last long but didn't really think she'd have it absolutely destroyed in under a minute. Still, a 5 dollar investment in absolute joy and insanity. She had the BEST time and was so happy. So it was worth it. 

We also got her a bag of super hard bone things, and it took her about 2 hours to cronch the whole thing up. It made a mess, so I was worried the freshly cleaned dog was going to be completely ruined, but it all worked out. 

I took a nap, I don't usually nap, but I really was feeling wiped after all our crazy fun and excitement. So I did the steps for 4 and woke up in time for 5. Big nap! I think Doug and Toffee napped in the guest room.

Finally, we got her a new harness. The one she came to us with has been rubbing under her armpits, or legpits? Do dogs have arms? Front leg pits, I guess. We wanted something that would sit a little further down her chest and got one that seems to fit fine. 

We took her for a test drive in the new gear. Geoff made dinner while we walked so that was nice. There's a little pocket dealie for poop bags, and another pocket for treats. She seems to like it just fine, and she walks like a champ.  

It was a pretty great day. Should have gone for a longer walk but it was all great. And my dog smells super nice now. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. 23 min outside walk w/Doug and Toffee. 7200+steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:30am: 181
5pm: 115 (tested 2x. one was 105, one was 115. I went with the higher) 
10:30pm: 164

food:
coffee/water
10:30: egg mc muffin, english muffin, sausage pattie, shredded cheddar, 1 egg
noon: metformin
6:30pm: fettuccine w/ meat sauce and 3 garlic knots; some beer; metformin+jardiance

Is it a last gasp?

The weather looked very good today so Doug suggested we go far afield to a brewery we've had our eyes on for some time. 

Milkhouse Brewing at Stillpoint Farm, it took more than an hour to get there but it was well worth it. We brought Toffee with us, and I was reluctant to do that because she was batshit crazy and difficult to deal with when we last took her to a brewery. She behaved much better, even though she was somewhat annoying. 

We need to work on her chill. 

They have a little store with lots of crafty things and cheese, and fresh farmstand veggies. We saved visiting there until after the beer. I wish we brought a picnic, it would have been perfect. We each enjoyed 3 beers and the perfect weather. The breeze was lovely, it was hot and humid, but it was all perfect meshing together. 

We left with some cheese and tomatoes and some homemade cherry preserves. On our way to the car Doug reminded me that there is a great ice cream stand nearby, which I was already thinking about because yeah, thinking 'bout the thing you're not really supposed to have when it is a couple miles away and you know it... that is my super power. 

So we went. Got small cones. Reasonable. Was pleased my blood sugar was not 200-300 when I got home. 

All told a pretty great day. A lot of people call Labor Day the last gasp of summer, but here in Maryland I feel like we are hitting the good weather stride. I just checked the long term forecast and upper 70s all next week, we skip up into the 80s again, but honestly, this weather speaks my language. 

I'll still be wearing sandals and flip flops, and cropped capri pants, t-shirts... not like the absolute maniacs we saw today out in the world walking around in fleece jackets. The actual heck? It was 86 degrees. Stop it. 

Because something says something on the calendar, don't make it so. Don't give up your summer vibe, yo. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.  Missed 1pm in the car in traffic

blood glucose:

9:30am: 160
6pm: 185 (surprisingly not 200+ with the ice cream and beers!)
10:30pm: 189

food:
coffee/water
11:30am: egg mcmuffin (at home) w/english muffin, one egg, one sausage pattie, 2 slices of american cheese
noon: metformin
beers at the farm
4:30pm: soft serve ice cream w/sprinkles
6:30pm: big giant cheeseburger w/ fresh sliced tomato, mayo, salt & pepper
7pm: metformin+jardiance
8pm: ramekin of cheez-its and 2 more beers

Saturday Do Nothing Day

The weather was crummy today, so we mostly stayed in. I started a google slide deck to present to someone about Guster. More on that someday. But literally from 10:30am to ... 6pm I worked on this. A silly vanity project. 

Sometimes I have to get a hair across my butt to do something, and get it all the way done, and be absolutely focused and not care about anything else in the world. And today was a good day for that. Almost done. Gonna show it to a couple friends to get their feedback. 

I took a walk inside the house while Doug went to pick his laptop up at Best Buy, could have walked longer but I wanted to get back to the slide deck! 

That's about it, no other real update. We'll see if tomorrow's weather is the suck or not. 

Digits. Below. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours. Missed 2pm because I was focused on a google slide deck. 20min indoor walk while Geoff made dinner. 6k steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 165
5:30pm: 154 
11pm: 200 on one finger, 160 on the other, which is why I hate taking my blood sugar.

food:
coffee/water
1:30: grilled cheese & turkey on 647 bread
2pm: Metformin
6pm: large piece of chicken parm, some fettuccini
7pm: metformin+jardiance
8pm: some peaches and vanilla ice cream  

Is It Me?

I have a really good friend. Friends for YEARS. Friends since before Geoff was born. We've always been close, except when they went through a divorce and shut down for a while. I understood that for them and let things be, although it made me sad they distanced me so hard. After a while though, we reconnected and things have been great. 

Except the past few months. 

They aren't replying to emails or texts. I called and left a voicemail the other day, no reply. Today I sent a text to them and their spouse, who I am also friends with. A little group chat. I'd read through the last bunch of messages we sent back in November and it was all fun and funny. 

Neither of them have gotten back to me. 

So now I'm worried. Like, did I fuck up? Did I do or say something wrong and they're not wanting to communicate with me anymore? This is so out of character for both of them, that I'm honestly thinking there is a united front of nope. 

Also, I'm worried that maybe there's something wrong there. Maybe, although never would have seen this coming, maybe there is a crisis there. And now I wonder if everything is bad or messed up. And they don't want to talk to me, like before? 

I can't speculate. I can only wait, I guess? I mean. Two people don't just vanish unless there is a reason. 

Hmmm. 

I am not usually worried about stuff like this. People ebb and flow, but having gone through some rough times with the friend in the past, I am flummoxed. Doug asked if I'd heard from them lately and I had to tell him no, not at all. 

I'm pretty bummed out about it. Should I be? I guess only time will tell, if they want to reach out, they will. 

The pickle ball is in their court. 

Work was pretty good today. I had a check in with my department head, and it went longer than usual because the meeting she had scheduled after me canceled. So she was good to gab. It was nice to catch up on things and get some low-down and insight into some higher level things that usually do not impact me.  We have a new CEO/President person and I asked for an update on how that whole relationship is working out for folks. Since I have no insight to her, I'm not in the building. 

We started working a little on this big project, I had some nice chats with participants on the periphery and got good feelings about stuff. Seeing as it is a holiday weekend, and I shouldn't do anything at all for this, I noted that there is a deadline for something that I need to turn in for September 4th, and I didn't start it yet, so, I may sit quietly and do it. 

When you don't have any distractions or demands, sometimes it is easy to use the quiet and do the things. When things are too chaotic and busy, I have a tendency to check out a little and .... not get as much accomplished. 

Because it is the Friday before a holiday, people canceled meetings and moved things to next week, so I found myself happily unbothered for the afternoon, and finished something that took one hour but I'd started it repeatedly. 

Sometimes I have better luck with that. One of my colleagues will turn off his email and slack notifications, tell us he is "heads down" getting something done, and he's gone for the day, off doing that thing. I can't quite do that. Maybe I could try? 

Anyway. Still confused over the friend thing. Sigh. 

Digits below. Here's a dog.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. no exercise. 5300+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8:30am: 156
5:30pm: 134 
10pm: 179

food:
coffee/water
12:30pm: metformin; large salad w/3 strips of bacon, red onion, tomatoes, cucumbers, chunks of leftover fajita chicken, shredded cheddar, mayo
6:30pm: bowl of mac & cheese w/bacon and the fajita chicken
7:30pm: Metformin+jardiance
8pm: pita chips & hummus
rose