mountain

I went camping with Geoff this weekend.

We were with the Boy Scout Troop and were supposed to participate in an annual Saco River cleanup around Fryeburg Maine, but the water was so high there were no banks to clean up. The water was up in the woods. So with no banks with trash on them, and high dangerous water, there was no point to clean up anything. They canceled the canoeing portion of the trip. Our troop leaders made the decision to still go on the trip, because we would be camping for free (that's part of the exchange for doing the cleanup).

Geoff was incredibly disappointed, he didn't want to go if there wasn't going to be canoeing, but I was slated as one of the drivers, they needed me to go. I told him it would still be fun, it'd be great.. He doubted it...  we fought about it. I told him he had to go because I wasn't going to go by myself on HIS camping trip. Reluctantly he agreed.

We've stayed at this campground before, but this time, because everyone was canceled for the canoeing NO one was there. Except for us. We had the whole place to ourselves. It was fantastic.

We got up there at 9pm, pitched tents, built a fire, and had some fun. The morning came and we went hiking instead of the planned canoe trip.

Our assistant scoutmaster told us it was an "easy" hike. About a mile and a half. Easy. I've been walking a lot, I've lost about 20 pounds. I was feeling really good about myself... until I got to the first incline.

Oh holy shit. I'm not in better shape. I'm still a big fat giant bucket of lard. The boys were halfway up the hill, the "MOUNTAIN!" and I was struggling to get along.

My friend Sheryl walked with me. She could have been a mile ahead but she walked with me. Kept me focused on getting up the hill.

Eventually I made it. And not THAT much further behind the group. I could see them the whole time. A year ago I think I might have died, but ... I made it. It was hard. So hard. But I did it.

The funny thing was I had brought this cross with me. My neighbor Thane had made it in shop class, and left it in my car. When I realized it was there, it made me smile.

I tied it to my backpack and said "I'll take Thane with me." He wasn't on our trip, he would have been but he had a workday at the summer camp where he'll be employed this year.  In walking up the hill, the knot slipped and the cross ended up dangling down the full length on the rope. Luckily it didn't fall off the pack, but ...

It kept swinging, and poking me.

In the butt.

Which made me start laughing on so many levels. It was like God was prodding me on. Poking me. Or Thane was... I was giggling at the concept, and it kept me going. I told Thane when I got home and he thought it was funny too.

There was an old mine at the top of the mountain and the boys had fun sampling rocks and working with two of the scoutmasters on a lot of geology... and throwing rocks at each other. We ate our lunch at a beautiful overlook.

The hike down took less than a half hour. It's fun moving downhill.

One of the scoutmasters has a family summer home nearby on a lake, so we went over there after the hike for swimming and kayaking. I sat in the shade with my sore feet elevated and watched the kids play on the float they assembled for the family and pulled the 50 yards out into the lake. They played King of the Float for over an hour. It was a great time.

And for the boy who didn't WANT to go on the trip because there wouldn't be canoeing... he didn't get into a canoe once and still had a very very good time.

That night, we had a big bonfire and played a game called "mafia" which was a screaming, rousing success. Geoff got to play "storyteller" for most of the stages of the game. He was incredibly funny. Each time, he stood up, put his hands behind his back and opened the tale of how the victim was slain and why. And each one he made up on the spot, and they were incredibly funny.

I slept like I was dead.

All told, it was a great weekend trip. I spent a lot of time with Sheryl and with my friend Jay, new to the troop but not new to me. His son is one of the new Scouts in the troop as of March and it was so fun to hang out with him this weekend. He cracks me up. Here he is pontificating and preaching in the pulpit of Bacon. We had 4 skillets going at once, each one cooking a pound of bacon. Yes we did. And it was good.

I still feel like my legs are going to fall off, but I took a 1.6 mile walk at lunch today and it felt good after about a mile.

Maybe I am getting stronger.

Pictured below, me and my son. Jay almost got him to smile. And I just look like someone beat me up, but ... I did it.

Walkies

So part of my trying to prevent myself from having Diabetes is to go for walks and get more exercise. I used to have excellent blood sugars, never over 120 after a meal, with fasting always between 60 and 70. Now, my fasting blood sugar has yet to get below 130, since I've been testing it as part of this diet. The good news is when I started testing it, my fasting blood sugar was about 150. So knocking it down 20 points is good, but not good enough.

I get my A1C retested at the beginning of July so ... if it isn't below 5.6% ... I get to go on medication to control it. So... wish me luck.

Anyway, where I work there is a beautiful campus, with walking trails and many options for which direction I would like to go. I try to get in at least a mile. I walk a 19 minute mile for the most part. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower.

The weather in the last week has been horribly wet and damp, so I only got out one day, Thursday, and on my way back to the building the sky opened up and then it started to hail.

My walks for the most part are solo endeavors, but I try and connect with our tech writer Jan and go sometimes. She's lovely. I think she comes here early in the morning, runs 4 or 5 miles, and then takes a walk at lunch. Kind of crazy if you ask me but ... she is great and I like her company. And we tend to walk a little faster when we're together.

Before I leave here, we are hoping to do the big loop, leave the property, walk out to the back road, come out to 1A, come back around the front and up the driveway. I am not sure how far it is, it will probably take us an hour is my guess.

In the meantime, this is an example of one of the walks I try and get in. Today with Jan was almost 2 miles.

I did a workout with MapMyWALK! Distance: 1.93mi, time: 00:35:07, pace: 18:13min/mi, speed: 3.29mi/h.

View route

soc.li

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And She Is Twenty

Ten days after my first anniversary I gave birth to my first child, my only daughter. She was unplanned, unexpected, and her creation made us change our plans for our immediate future. We were living in Decatur, Georgia. Doug was a grad student in a program that wasn't meeting any of his expectations, and I was unable to find work because every interview I went on went something like this:

Hiring Manager: You're not from around here, are you?
Me: I live in Decatur.
HM: But... you're not from around here... I can tell. Where are you from?
Me: (sometimes wise-assishly): DE-CAY-TER. Perhaps you done herd ovit?
or
Me: (honestly): We recently moved here from Boston. My husband is a student at Emory. I'm looking for a job so we can stay here in Atlanta.

I never got the job, whether or not I was flip with DE-CAY-TER or the honest truth.

We moved back up here to Massachusetts and stayed with friends who just had a little girl themselves. She was born on my wedding day. She prevented her parents (her mom being my best friend) from attending my wedding.

Jess was born right before a Simpsons episode on a Thursday night. I remember telling the doctor to hurry up and finish with her because the Simpsons were coming on, and he looked at me funny. But ... it was true. I wanted to introduce her to The Simpsons.

Now she is 20.

And now there are 2 friends here at my house, friends of hers since middle school, bearing cheesecake and laughter.

It is a very good day.

In other news, my friends had their baby baptized this weekend. I was asked to take pictures for them at the baptism and at the party. And when things were especially crazy and she needed a bottle, I took her. And had some super awesome cuddle time with her. And her mom took this picture of me. I am the baby whisperer sometimes. This particular baby digs me.

This is me, talking to Poppy. When she is 20, Jess will be 40. Keep that in mind.

"and I think 21 is gonna be a good year"

to steal from The Who, the title comes from "Tommy."

Doug and I celebrated our anniversary on June 1st, with a gorgeous dinner at a restaurant in Haverhill, and then drinks after with my boss (and friend) and co-worker (and friend) who I think will always be my friends even after I don't work with them. My husband was charming and adorable. We laughed a lot. I mean, a lot. And it wasn't just the espresso martinis talking.

I've been married for 21 years. And half of those years are blogged here. Which is just plain weird. I love Doug beyond all reason and rationale. He is my Samwise Gamgee. He carries me through the horrors and I am as his Frodo forever thankful.

I do not know what I would do without him.

So, happy 21. Our marriage is legal, to drink "drunkening fluids" as Geoff once called them.

Long may we run.

End Date and New Beginning

I've had a lot of stress. The Banque de Estupidos situation is still not resolved and I'm fraught with anxiety over it to the point where I broke out in hives on the way to work on Monday and had to stop at the drug store for Benadryl in cream and pill form. I then gave myself a migraine over it.

My job is okay, it's frustrating because I feel like the platform is completely broken and there is no way this thing will launch in a few weeks. I think it will be September before it is ready for public consumption. Part of me wants to stay to see the project through to end, part of me wants to go back to work for Jo tomorrow, and part of me just wants to go back to bed and not deal with anything ever again.

The people I work with are delightful and wonderful, and I really like them. Wouldn't trade that part at all. It is what gets me out of bed in the morning, knowing I will see my lovely Indian friend who gives me a word of the day in Hindi and plays games with me, and my tremendously wonderful boss who tries not to say anything bitter and jaded about the platform/website before noon, and fails. Miserably.

The other day at work, I was looking at the calendar and realized that with the end of the school year, and me starting back up at CAC at the end of June for summer camp, we probably should look at getting away for a bit.  I was going to end my work experience on a Friday and start up at CAC on the Monday following, but no. Geoff has wanted to go visit his grandparents, go to Rogers Ohio for the Rogers Sale (really... this to him is a highlight of going out to WPA. Rogers Flea Market. Oh to be a 15 year old boy again...) so we decided my last day will be Wednesday June 20th, we'll leave in the morning on June 21st, do Rogers on the 22nd (they are only open on Fridays) and entertain ourselves for Saturday. Doug talked to his mom for an extended period of time last night about our plans and it looks like it is a go on their end. Jess will stay here with Dogs, and we'll go to the motherland and visit.

And I am hoping it is relaxing, doesn't stress me out, give me hives, or make me stabby. Because I don't need that nonsense right now.

Here's to the end and the beginning. Hallelujah. Amen.

diets and work and diets and work and

We have had so many adventures lately and I've been too busy to actually sit down and write about them.

No word yet from BOA about our mortgage. I know that is your first question.

Our 2001 VW Passat finally died, or is as close to death as a car can be without actually being declared dead. We can't qualify for a car loan of any sort, seeing as our credit rating is totally in the shittah from this whole mortgage mess, so Doug found an auto auction located just over the border in NH.

We decided to go and check it out, see what it was like. We only had about 2000 dollars in cash that we could spend, so we didn't think there was going to be a vehicle that we could actually bid on. We were surprised by some of the prices, and bid on a few but got outbid and didn't take it above what we could afford. There were several really nice vehicles there that we could have gotten if we had a slightly higher budget.

The way this works is that the auctioneer (on the higher platform in the center in the picture here) has the seller/dealer to his left. The guy to his right helps watch the audience for bids. The guy standing in front of the car opens it up so people can come up and look at it inside and under the hood.

When the bidding kind of gets to the end, it is up to the seller to accept the bid. A lot of times, the bids are way below what the seller wants, so the car goes back into the lot unsold... if he wants 5000 dollars for the car and the high bid is 4000 he can refuse it, and wait to the next bidding day.

The auctioneer was a bona fide auctioneer guy with the fast voice and the calling and the singing of the numbers. I've only ever seen really old men doing this, so it was fascinating to me to see a guy in his 30s or so rattling off the auction song.

A Kinder, Mellower kind of Guster. Paramount Theater Emerson College, Boston MA, April 21, 2012

This will be a good long entry. I should break it up into two. But...the whole day goes together, not just the Guster review. Forewarned is forearmed.

Aside from Barenaked Ladies, the other band that I would travel near and far to see many many times is Guster.

Due to the ongoing no-fun money situation, I have had to pass on seeing them several times in the past two years. And it looked like I was going to lose out on this tour too.  Abbey had mercy and gave me a ticket. For this, and for this show, I am again eternally thankful. This was not a show to be missed. This was a unique and very different performance. I'll outline that soon. But first...

Guster Today!

Oh hello. Sorry for neglecting the blog. I've been busy at work, busy at home and when I am on blogger I'm writing my secret blog with my friend C about our diets, which I won't discuss here, except that I managed to lose about 10 pounds total (unofficial) so far.

And while I did say that I wouldn't make this a weight loss blog, I will  make one comment. Why is it that whenever I lose weight I lose it in my boobs? My bras are all too big cup-wise now, and I didn't have an ample supply of boobage in the first place. So that disappoints me. Hey, body! Lose the weight around the belly and the butt next, please. Kthxbi.

This afternoon, I am going to see my boys Guster. They are doing a 2pm show in Boston, and my dear Abbey (the same one of the BNL show for my birthday in 2010) emailed me to let me know she had an extra ticket for me. I am super stoked, I haven't seen the Gusters in forever, so I am really looking forward to this. I skipped the "Lost and Gone Forever" anniversary tour because of money, I passed on a couple other opportunities... I passed on Huntington NY (hometown, baby!) which would have been an amazing show. So what a blessing it is that Abbey thought to get in touch with me for this one.

It is a 2pm show, which is super weird to me. They performed last night, and they're playing again tonight... But a 2pm show is like the Early Bird Special. Am I really doing a matinee show for a rock band? How bizarre. Well, at least I'll be home in time to see "Matlock"

And on that note, gotta think about getting ready and out the door. More later, I'm sure! Guster! Yaaay!

the fibroid that won't go away

I haven't had opportunity to really mention life in the post-surgical age.

If you recall in August I had surgery to help stop excessive bleeding due to a uterine fibroid. Said fibroid was rather large by the doctors' standards at about 5cm, so my first choice of oblation was vetoed and I had a procedure done to block my uterine artery and "starve" the fibroid so it would die.  Six months and a couple of really bad periods later, I am frustrated and annoyed with still having to deal with this. I had feedback from people saying that they had no periods or incredibly light periods after having the procedure. Others said it took up to a year to see a difference. I saw a difference the first couple of months but right now, we're right back to where we were last year, except that I'm prepared when I get my period, I don't leave the house without BOXES of supplies, a change of clothes and a quick path to an emergency exit.

Be prepared is my motto.

I mentioned this to my doctor at my physical earlier this month and she recommended another ultrasound, which I had done last week.

Results are that the fibroid has doubled in size  to 10.4 cm, AND I have a small cyst on one of my ovaries. Fanfuckingtastic.

So I'm reading this letter this morning while I'm on this stupid diet, and I'm thinking that my entire body is in complete and utter revolt. Which is kind of not fair, man.

 I mean, I haven't treated it all that well for the 45 years it has been my vessel, but neither have I completely abused it.

I don't fill it with heroin, I dont' cut myself, abuse myself with food and alcohol to extremes on either end. I make it go hiking, I put lotion on its skin so it won't be all dry and flaky all winter long. I wash it, I trim its toenails. And this is the thanks I get. Blood work saying "you have diabetes and high cholesterol! Rawwr!" and the bleeding! and the fibroid! And the what the hell can possibly be next!

I started thinking of the fibroid as Audrey II from "Little Shop of Horrors" and started laughing, then I got completely grossed out at the idea of a giant human chomping plant growing out of my vagina. So let's put aside those images... meh!

Feeling like I can't win for trying, I guess. My doctor's letter (I like how they don't call you and leave a voicemail with these things) said that she wants to discuss options and recommends that I go back to my OB/GYN and start at square one.

Considering last year I had two options and one of them has not worked, it looks like the other option is a hysterectomy. Or, suck it up, and just deal with bleeding to death once a month.

What I wouldn't give for a bottle of wine and some bacon and a little revenge on this body, this mortal vessel, this betrayer, this judas.

Diet

Long time readers know that about 5 or so years ago we were incredibly active people. We got bored with what we were doing, and then we sat down. And we spread out.

Doug had a physical in February that said he has diabetes.

When our doctor told Doug about his diagnosis, Doug did some research about early onset the possibilities of reversing what was just started. He decided that he would do a medically supervised fast. Our doctor does not believe that you can "reverse diabetes," you can lower your A1C but the minute you stop managing your diet and life, it goes right back up.

He said that the worst that will happen is Doug will lose weight. So he's on (I think) day 40 of the fast. He has 4 carnation instant breakfast packets a day, currently has a bowl of high fiber vegetable or some sort of small salad for dinner, and does not exceed 800 calories a day. And he walks, and he plays a LOT of Skyrim in order to stay out of the kitchen and away from food in the house.

He's lost close to 35 pounds.

At the end of this fast (8 weeks) he will go in and have all his blood work redone. If the numbers aren't different, ie: A1C lowered below 7%, he will go back on the oral medication our doctor initially prescribed for him to manage diabetes, and will resume eating, but will eat a 100% diabetes diet with no beer, no pasta, no sugars, whole grain, lots of high fiber veg. A full lifestyle food change...  And so will the rest of the family.

But if his numbers are different, he will shake his ass at our doctor and hoot and holler.

Which brings us to me. Because after all, it's my blog, not his.

I had a physical in April that says I also  have diabetes. A year ago right now I had perfect awesome unbelievable blood work. Now I have an A1C of 7.9, Estimate Glucose Level of 140, Cholesterol of 248 and the same doctor who wants me to come in so we can talk about my options.

Option one for me is to do the same medically supervised fast as Doug.

I started the process yesterday, and a very good friend is doing it with me. She will modify what she is doing and eat food but I'm going to follow Doug's plan. For the first week of this, I am not eating food at all, just the shakes. I'm having slightly more milk in my shakes than Doug has in his, because I'm just that way and really, it's straight up protein and calcium, which is something that won't hurt me.

Since Christmas 2010 I've lost about 20 pounds. Since Doug's birthday, I've lost 4. I have started the countdown for myself at a certain amount, which I will not broadcast here, but once in a while I'll maybe report a negative number and you will know what that means.

The hard thing for me is not having any alcohol. I greatly enjoy beer (as evidenced by the Shenanigans blog) and there is nothing more lovely than feet up, movie in, wine glass in hand. There are things I can drink, but at least through this first week I'm not drinking any alcohol.

As Homer Simpson says "I've become everything I hate."