The title of today's entry is an homage to my sister and a recent conversation she had with her boss. He was asking her to do things, and she asked him what was the priority for the things. Which do you need more immediately. And he replied that was like asking him which he wanted -- to breathe or eat.
Well, breathing is more important. You can't ever eat if you've suffocated so yes, I'm asking which one is breathing. Then I can do the eating one.
I have a very hard time prioritizing things. I will simply not do something because I can't do it before I do something else and that something else is kind of less important but, it may be easier to conquer/accomplish. So I obsess on the things. And the more important thing is backburnered again and again until I'm flush up against a deadline.
I'm reminded of a song by my friend Jim Infantino and his excellent song "Stress." I am singing this now. Only. I'm not enjoying what the stress is I've given myself.
Here's someone's interpretation of the song, which is hilarious. And I love it.
Doug took today off but had a conference call at 7am. I didn't reset my alarm after he went down, and managed to sleep in until 9:ish when Lin messaged me. Because I'd been on-call, all my alerts and noises were louder than usual.
Thankful that she did, I probably would have slept until 10 or later.
And to be honest, I would have loved that.
Got up and showered immediately because I would not have had a minute all day to do a mini-vacation (that's what I call it when I retreat in the middle of the day to the shower...) Doug had finished his meeting and was napping in the guest room when I did my steps for the 10am hour and stomped in. Oops sorry.
Several meetings, all day, important talks about important things, texted back and forth with my work buddy who is still on leave but hopes to be back next week. I sent him and his family a nice Spoonful of Comfort cookie basket. He sent me a picture of his son Om Nom Nomming his way through a cookie with his thumbs up. And he was wearing a Star Wars/Lego T-shirt I'd sent him a couple years back. It finally fits him. This time next year, it won't.
Iattended an all staff while tearing the pantry apart and wiping down all the shelves.
Why? Why am I doing that? I have things I need to do for the clients. Why?
Ants. Ants is why.
Before the All Staff, I opened the pantry to get an english muffin and well, there were ants. Everywhere. Tiny tiny itty bitty little mother fuckers. Hundreds of them. Fuuuuuuuuuck.
So I took all the food out of the pantry, scrubbed it, sprayed it with ant spray (made chicken salad so the 2 pieces of chicken we have left would not go to waste, instead of an english muffin...)
Geoff came upstairs and looked at the process and progress, and asked what the hell was happening.
What do you think, honey. What. Take a guess.
"You know. Mom is in a mood. Doing things. Sick of it all. Just fucking doing it. Going bananas. Hi honey! HI!"
I was feeling a little manic, a little hyper. I thought to myself "I wonder if this is what Geoff's brain felt like when he was in Elementary school..." Things made more sense to me about him at that moment.
Had a 2pm meeting but the client didn't show up. I called him at 2:10 just to check on him and he was so sorry! So Apologetic! Give me .... 5 minutes, I'll jump on zoom.
Oh honey, to be honest, you've given me a gift. I had three big emails to compose, I am supposed to do something for a client that is so far overdue I almost cried in a meeting with them (they were understanding but Jeeesh I gotta do this thing). Another email got a response and the client was unbelievably gracious.
I turned to my team to ask them to pick up the baton on that issue - someone please come up with a solution for this because I cannot.
Another client has hired an SEO consultant, which is nice, but the guy has questions and good God I do not have time to answer him. I punted him to my manager.
I had a 1:1 with my manager today and confessed that I'm not my best self for thinking and doing. My quality time management is way off kilter. He said after this weekend it'll probably open up space in my brain, and heart, and I'll feel more normal again. I believe he diagnosed it right. I'm distracted and burdened but yes. Let's get through this weekend. Maybe I can brain again.
I did a bunch of things after the chat. Got things done, and had a 4pm call with another client.
She got on zoom and said, in a very Alabama way, "Girl. I mean, ... girl." And I laughed. I know what that means when you say .... girl.
"I almost emailed you to cancel this meeting because I cannot with all this work lately." I thanked her for not canceling, told her that we could just "easy peasy this conversation and touch on one or two things, perhaps three, of the 50 or 60 things she needs to do."
And we did. We spent the full hour and could have gone longer, but I solved some problems for her, showed her how some things can work better, encouraged, and we laughed.
To be honest, that's just the way I wanted to end the day.
I needed to cram in 2 things and got to one, and discovered a problem with a site expiring their DNS Registration and they probably have no idea. So emergency emails sent, email response received from the client, sigh of relief shed, I feel better going to bed tonight.
Doug packed most of his stuff. I cleaned the bathroom, I still need to put all the pantry things back but, that can wait until morning.
I'll dress the guest bed in the morning, strip those sheets and throw them downstairs and deal with them whenever. I need a haircut so desperately, maybe I'll find a haircuttery on Friday.
All told, I made it through these 3 days and am ready to face the next batch. Hallelujah.
Breathing and eating.
No picture tonight, I was too busy to take one. Gotta pack and get my shit going, not sure there will be an entry tomorrow. Digits below.
exercise: 12/12 hours of 250 steps; no dedicated 10; 5k steps by bedtime
blood glucose:
9am: 175
5pm: 177
10pm: 209
food:
coffee/water
10:30am: bowl of mac & cheese w/ground beef
11:30am: metformin
2pm: ramekin of chicken salad w/craisins and walnuts
7pm: chinese food. lo mein, egg roll, general gao's chicken, garlic pork, 3 peking raviolis; metformin+jardiance
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