Into the Office

This afternoon I needed an upgrade done to my laptop for the operating system. It should have been easy. It didn't go right. And now the IT department has to fix things up. In Person. I need to ....

Go to the office. 

There are still rules in position about entering the building and I do not have a covid test. I can't go in, but the IT person is going to meet me outside and take the laptop. 

Not sure how long it will take. I can play Pokemon, and walk around a little. I will message some friends who are back in the building and see if they want to come outside and say hello. 

Maybe I'll see if Geoff wants to come, we can go over to the brewery around the corner and have a pint. 

I have not been to the office except one time since March 2020. I had to pick up a loaner laptop after my keyboard stopped working a while back and I had to send it out to Apple for repair. 

Should be interesting. 

Not much else to report, we had a number of wild and crazy things happen with work related issues today and I'm exhausted from it all. 

I made a wonderful grilled chicken dinner. I feel like all we eat is chicken but it's affordable right now. I'd love something else. Maybe this weekend I'll bend the rules, have a hot dog in an actual bun! Woooooo! Livin' wild! Holiday weekend! Freedom! Yay.

No picture to separate the digits. Sorry folks.  

Digits

exercise: 

Blood Glucose:
9am: 186
5pm: 162
10pm: 152

Food:
Coffee
Water
chicken in a salad with goat cheese, mixed baby greens, wee tomatoes, red onion.
grilled chicken breast marinated in olive oil, lime juice, garlic, parsley, dill, chives, salt & pepper
sauteed green peppers and vidalia onions
wine.

Sometimes you don't take a picture

Due to Dog Spread and Heat sometimes I wander into the guest room in the middle of the night. 

The guest bed is very comfortable compared to my bed, and I always a good night's sleep in that room.

At 6:45am, I was wide awake, aware of all the bright light in the room. Yesterday afternoon, I had raised the blinds to get more natural light in the guest room in order to record a training video. I forgot to lower the blinds before I got into the bed. And as mentioned, this is the time of year that I'm just up early. I may burn the afternoon, but mornings are good to go for me.

The fact that the dog had not come to get me yet was notable He's usually up at 5. I sat up and stretched (but did not get too stretchy because I had to pee).

I pivoted at my hips to stretch my back, and when I turned to my right there was a deer. 

Right outside the window. Two of them. A buck and a doe. 

The doe was looking right at me, so I sat perfectly still and looked at her. She continued to monitor me as he evaluated the landscape. He was looking into my neighbor's yard chest pressed against the chain link fence, hooves in her flowers. 

I grabbed my phone and tried to take a picture but the camera would only focus on the window and screen. Doh. or .... Doe.

Trying to be sneaky, I laid back down and rolled out of bed gently. When I got through the door, the dog heard me and came over happy to have me let him out to pee. Doug was sitting up in bed, awake as well, so I told him about the deer. 

"Oh!"

He got out of bed and we both went to the kitchen to look out the window and the deer were still standing there, statue still.  

Then, they jumped the fence. 

The buck went first, the doe thought about it and then followed. They weren't fully visible through the tree in our backyard, but we could see them moving around. Doug noted they were nibbling her flowers and her garden. Oh no. 

She already blames rats and other vermin for being around, but has not mentioned deer. Those are probably the animals eating her things (as we witnessed). And they have not discovered our garden, thankfully!

We went into the dining room to see if we could get a better view. And they jumped fences again and again, moving into other yards. 

I started the coffee, and we talked about how beautiful the day was, and we realized that we had not yet the dog out. 

He was blissfully unaware of the excitement we just saw. He'd probably lose his shit  if he went out there and they were still at the fence.

Sometimes you don't get the opportunity to take a picture. Bad angles, or distance can mess up a good shot. So use your mind's eye to take the best picture you can muster. 

That said, digits after the picture of yesterday's lunch I forgot to share. I really love the babybel cheeses, peeling open the wax, and releasing the cheese. I prefer the cheddar, but hey, if you only have the mozzarella life is good.

Digits

exercise: 

Blood Glucose: 
8am: 174
5pm: 138
10pm:170

Food:
Coffee
Water
yogurt with strawberries, and toasted almonds
meat and sauce and ricotta pulled out of the left over baked ziti (ssshhhhhhh, they have sauce for noodles and can make more to put on the ziti!)
small ramekin of mixed nuts
Mexican Chicken (breaded like chix parm except with red hot, chili powder, mexican cheese, bacon
wine 

How He Cooks Dinner

Geoff loves to cook, and he has a specific repertoire of things he can do very well from memory. Chicken parm, cheesesteak, a few other things. He's been doing well with grilling, and not burning the hell out of things. 

He likes to sit and read cookbooks, study them, and try out new recipes. Sometimes they're not perfect. He studies the recipe and spends days on it, and then he goes shopping for the ingredients. 

We run through what we have in house and what he needs to pick up. Oregano? Yes, we are growing our own oregano so you can pull some branches off of that and pull the leaves off. Dill? oh yes. Cilantro? No. We are not growing cilantro, we have parsley which isn't what the recipe is calling for. And it isn't a tasty substitute unless you have a friend who hates cilantro and thinks it tastes like soap.  Buy some cilantro. Dry stuff like cumin and bay leaf? Yes. We have two containers of both. Yes please do not buy more. 

For the meat. Three kinds! Country style pork ribs. Recipe calls for boneless. Can he buy bone in and cut around the bone? It's much cheaper that way. Yes buy bone in vs. boneless.

After he found this recipe I noticed it was a stew. Stew. When it is 90 degrees out. I mentioned "ya know, this is the kind of thing you make in the fall or winter. Not ... in the summer."

"I wanted to try this, I've had my eye on it, and heart set on it for a long time, but with me going back to school next week, I really wanted to give it a go."

Damn. Ah Yes. School. It occurs to me I may need to leave the house and go shopping? What is that, shopping? I have no idea. How do I drive? Where is the store? Ugh. Luckily he is home Tuesdays and Thursdays so. I won't lose him for good. Shopping-wise. But Doug or I will probably have to cook more. Joy. Fun. Yay. 

I do not take Geoff for granted.

So for the stew, that he wanted to make. We went through more ingredients on the list. He needed two pounds of black beans. So he bought two cans of black beans (I didn't check his grocery procurement when he got back) and I noticed he had a bowl set aside with the black beans in them, soaking in water. 

Oh. Oh honey. No. That's not what you do with canned beans. So I explained to him that 2 pounds of dried beans he'd be soaking in water overnight. And the two pounds of dried beans would probably expand amazingly. Two 15 ounce cans of black beans weren't going to be the same thing. But. It's close. He learned a lesson about beans. I told him in the future, soaking beans is indeed a pain in the ass, so buying canned beans is fine, but I would have bought 3 to get the yield the recipe is going for. 

The recipe called for ham hocks and collard greens. I told him if he didn't see ham hocks in the pork section to go ask the butcher. They will have them at the market for sure. He found those no problem. 

Collard Greens. He couldn't find them in the produce section, so he used the internet to pick an alternative. Kale. No problem. Got a bag of that.

Ham steak. No problem. 

Chorizo sausage. The recipe called for sausage links and didn't say whether or not to chop them up. So he didn't. Upon completion of the recipe I told him he should have chopped this up because it's a stew, and using a spoon to lift up a humongous sausage link is no fun. He made note of that, and pulled them all out of the stew to cut them into smaller pieces and then cut the smaller pieces in half. Super nice and small.

He did buy the bone in country style pork ribs as we discussed and they were much less expensive per pound. He grilled the sausage and pork ribs to just under done since they were going in a stew so that was acceptable. He cut the meat off the bone, and had everything set and ready to put in the stew!

I had a meeting from 4-5 and came out to find him waiting.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked him. 

"The recipe says to simmer the liquids and beans for two hours, then add the greens, simmer another half hour, and then add the meat in and simmer that for two hours."

"Okay, so why didn't you start this recipe at 1pm? We won't be eating until 8pm at this point." 

He pondered. 

I noted the he should always check the prep and cook times for things, to time things to be ready for people to eat at a normal time.

"There's no harm in it," I said. "Throw it all in there, and then let it simmer for an hour and a half. Everything will be fine." 

He said it called for three cups of the greens, I told him to take three handfuls of kale, and throw them in. Don't measure this with a cup, just go for it. 

We stirred it all in and added the meat, and I looked at the stew and felt it could actually use more kale. There was not enough green in there with the red from the tomato base and the meat. I said that canned beans are awesome, but next time, use 3. And use one can of three different kinds. Kidney, Pinto, and Black. It'll just be prettier.

It was delicious. It reminded me of a recipe my uncle Kenny used to make for us, in the heat of the summertime, with kale and linguica. I enjoyed it greatly. 

Excellent work Geoff. Excellent work.  

Exercise: 

Blood Glucose: 
9am: 154
6pm:148
10pm: 154

Food:
Coffee
Water
iced coffee
small plate of pepperoni slices & 3 baby bell cheeses
2 bowls of stew
wine with dinner (2 glasses)

Avoiding The Noodles

 (meant to publish Monday and forgot...)

Geoff went to the market today and he brought home makings for baked ziti. I groaned a little. That's like all carbs. 

But to be honest, he's not on my diet. He did the shopping, he wanted to make this for dinner, he's entitled. I can deal. I would find something else for myself to enjoy. So I did. We had a quarter of a roaster chicken that Doug's aunt made him take home with him yesterday, so I tore it up, made a chicken salad with grapes and toasted almonds. 

He made a nice baked ziti. I kind of regret not just having a ramekin but I put it all away for him and peeled the baked on cheese off the edge of the baking dish and enjoyed that.

I wanted to treat myself to chicken piccata but we didn't have any chicken stock so that idea got sidelined.  Perhaps later this week. Doug hates capers so it is more like chicken in a lemon sauce, without that pickle bite from the capers.

I wasn't that hungry anyway to be honest. I ate lunch at 3:30 so I'm not super hungry anyway. I'm more sleepy than anything but it is too early to go to bed. 

Digits

Exercise: 

Blood Glucose:
9am: 164
5pm: 150
11pm: 174

Food:
Coffee 
Water
yogurt and blueberries
leftover salad from last night with chicken salad from the other night
chicken salad with grapes and almonds
hamburger bun w/peanut butter (about 30 grams of carbs total vs all the total avoidance of carbs all day)

Christine, Party of One

Doug took Geoff with him to visit the aunt. 

The goal today is to (hopefully) organize/consolidate the 2 storage units into just one. Doug's cousin told him that the units were full, and Doug thinks that's not possible. The floor may be covered but... stack some shit up. There is no way these 2 units are "full." I pointed out that if she would relinquish some of the things that can just be done away with, there would be half a storage unit of stuff worth keeping. I'm tired of arguing.

The county is re-upping the efforts to get her stuff cleaned out. They were there last week. They'll be back this week. If my dog could be fine alone and not have a total hairy conniption, I would have gone to work at the house to help (still, still not there) get in compliance.

She's stubborn and thinks everyone is just picking on her. 

The fire department said she can't have things piled higher than 3 feet up, or, the top of the dining table. She's got stuff piled up beyond that AND piled on the dining table. She said "well where's stuff supposed to go if not on the dining table!" 

The answer is "somewhere else." 

The fire chief and inspector explained that when things are piled up that high they can fall over on someone and trap them. This is a safety issue. 

Her reply is "That's never going to happen!" They told her that it happens all the time. And if she's trapped, with a broken hip or leg or arm, she can't get out from under the pile. I mean, it happened to Principal Skinner. Luckily he had a basketball to dribble and keep himself entertained! Also, firefighters can't get into a building to rescue someone if they can't get into the building. If you can get into the living room but not up the stairs where the trapped person is, there's no way to get up there by the stairs, and carrying an incapacitated/unconscious person down the ladder if they get up that way is unrealistic. She has an argument for everything. 

For weeks I was working towards the kitchen and dining area, to work on it, and every time I'd show up, the area I just cleaned was full again. 

I want to help, I really do. But lady. You gotta help yourself too. 

Everything not yet done, there's an excuse for.  Painful. 

Anyway, the boys are over there and I've had the house to myself since noon so it was time to clean. My sister refers to it as Linda, Party of One when she has the place to herself for cleaning. So I have my Christine, Party of One time. So far, let's see what I have done. I have: 

• Made some chicken salad for lunch with some of the leftover grilled chicken from last night. It was intensely good. The temptation was to eat it all but I saved some for Doug
• Vacuumed the living room rug, the rug under the dining table, and the rug on the floor on my side of the bed
• Cleaned the top of the stove and the kitchen countertop
• Swept all the hardwood areas, contemplating mopping but. meh
• Brewed some coffee for iced for next week
• Placed some dining chairs we bought from a coworker at the dining table to see if I like them there
• Stripped the beds and washed the sheets. They are in the dryer
• Folded several baskets of laundry. 
• Talked to my sister to take a break from my party of one 
• Cleaned the floor on my side of the bed to peer pressure Doug into doing his 
• My bedside table is clean and dusted and organized instead of lots of tissues and medicine bottles and empty cups of water and stuff
• Cleaned the shower and bathroom sink
• Cleaned the top of the living room table
• Sorting through the mail and junk mail now

I find that if I have some wine, some good tunes, and aloneness I can get a lot accomplished. I still have things to do. I really should record myself doing the training I need to do for work (see previous post about not doing something that needs done... But it's Christine, Party of One time here and I'm living for it. 

The boys will be home within the hour, I think. Hope they bring something good home for dinner. I think I'll get a shower now and check the bedsheets so I can remake the beds. 

All told, a good day so far. It is brutally hot out, I was thinking of watering the garden but I think there may be some weather coming from the west between now and 7pm. Unless it totally falls apart on the way here, and then I'll water. Big decisions. 

Digits below.

Exercise: Lots of around the house busy steps and moving things. 

Blood Glucose: 
10am: 186
5pm: 154
10pm: 153

Food:
coffee
water
chicken salad
2 chicken legs & big salad 
no sugar added Klondike bar (has 26 grams of carbs and the regular klondike bar with normal sugar whatever is 29 grams. What a rip off!)
wine+fresca

Wasting the Solstice Sun

I had the chance to be Farmer Chris today, if I went outside before say 10am. 

After that it was a lot of no. A big fat lotta no. 

Doug went out this afternoon and did a bunch of things in the yard. The only thing I really wanted to do was water. Doug said we don't need to water - we got so much rain the other night that everything is good and wet.  I do want to see how he staked up the tomatoes and check on our purple peppers. 

But overall, outside isn't a place I want to be.

I have no regrets.

I do feel a little bit like I'm wasting the height of the light of summer! Doug's out for a walk right now, and he goes far and fast, I can't keep up with him, and I get bored beyond belief. I live for this time of year: early light mornings and lingering late light. 

But I just cannot muster the energy to go out there.  

Still pondering the things that happened yesterday. Doug and I had a disagreement about things. He doesn't understand why people in NY, Chicago, Boston are protesting. He doesn't understand why people are so mad about the overturning of the decision. He thinks people are "stupidly" thinking that this will end abortions everywhere. 

So I went and took a nap. It felt the safest. I don't want to have a fight with him. I shared some of my thoughts via email with C. But don't really want to get into it. 

Anyway. 

I went out and played Farmer Chris for a little while tonight. 

Since Doug did a ton of work with the tomatoes I felt I should do at least something. And it was a beautiful night. 

I had planted morning glories on the fence again, but it turns out, I didn't have to. 

We have volunteers, and boy do we have volunteers. The seeds I planted are just starting to come up but last year's friends are going bananas. I went out and reroute them, they were growing across the gate, and into the mailbox. I want them moving away from the gate, so the gate can open easily. And our mailman can open the mailbox.

They are pouring into the grass on the street side of the fence - and I thought about cutting them all back, but I think I'm going to allow them to grow along the ground. Maybe it'll be really pretty. I hope.

Oh. And we may be back at Doug's aunt's tomorrow. Doug suggested maybe he and Geoff can go because they may be headed into the storage units to reorganize them and make them more tidy and fit more stuff in. Not sure. His suggestion is merciful and kind. I don't know how much she's done, and what the urgency is at this point compared to when we first started going to help here in February. 

And as usual, my curiosity about what the situation over there exists but my desire to deal with it is minimal.

Pictures are the morning glory volunteers before I started to fuss with them.

Exercise: none

Blood Glucose:
10am: 163
5pm: 144
xpm: 194

Food:
Coffee
Water
ramekin of frito chips
bowl of yogurt & blueberries
2 bowls of chili with beef & chicken (2 beast chili) no beans, cheese & fritos and sour cream
another ramekin of frito chips (weakness!)
several vodka tonics (diet tonic)

Donut but not for eating

 

At my office, we have a slack integration we call "Donut." To the right here, this is the emoji in slack for the platform. It is very friendly. 

Interested parties sign up to be paired with fellow coworkers to just have a chat. 

In the Before Times we'd get the chance to meet in person. Now it's on Zoom or Slack video. It can be 15 minutes or a half hour. I enjoy it because I've gotten to chat with coworkers from a lot of different departments. 

It usually runs every other week, but sometimes we cheat if schedules are booked up. This week I had four of them, because last week we pushed some things back. 

I often get paired with interns, which is alright, but I feel like an old when I talk with them. They are younger than my kids most of the time.  One particular girl that I chatted with recently was so in love with her internship and what she was doing, and fascinated with my job. She had so many questions and was filled with such joy when I told her how my job works and what I do. 

Her enthusiasm and excitement was so delightful. 

Sometimes I wish I had that level of thrill. Not just about my job but anything. Well, I do. Guster. But you know that. Everything else is just okay. 

 It's nice to know such excitement is out there. And it made me appreciate what I'm doing because it made her so happy.

Not much else to talk about really today. There was big news out of the SCOTUS that I don't even want to talk about. I have feelings but will not post. 

We may be going to Doug's aunt's tomorrow. I'm still not sure. She has not let us know if she needs us. Part of me wants a big pass on it. Another part of me is nosy. And I am of course, epically lazy and will only go if we stop at the irish pub and get wings on the way home. 

 I'm super proud of my avoidance of mac and cheese (this time with hamburger) and the Oreos that Geoff brought home from the market yesterday. He also bought Pretzel M&Ms which I don't enjoy very much so they are safe from me. 

He must have read my Gorbage thoughts from my Gorbage brain.

Here is a picture of chicken salad I made for lunch. I make a really nice chicken salad. I usually mix mayo and cream cheese together with a hand mixer and set it aside. I boil 2-4 chicken breasts for 10-15 min, depending on their size. I like to grill them too but doug prefers them this way. 

Once they are cool, I dice the chicken into little squares and mix with the mayo/cream cheese. then, I will use either red seedless grapes cut in half or apples diced in small squares, and toasted almonds or chopped walnuts. Salt and pepper to taste.

A lot of people have different feelings about throwing fruit in things where "it doesn't belong," like raisins in coleslaw. To be honest, I'll eat just about fucking anything and you know it. I learned this recipe from catering man back in the day and I totally dig it. Forever. 

Digits below.

Exercise: anger and rage pretty much is all i can muster today

Blood Glucose:
9am: 195
5:30pm 174
10:30pm 174

Food:
Coffee
Water
iced coffee
chicken salad (chicken, mayo, walnuts, grapes)
couple handfuls of grapes
chicken parm (chicken, mozz, sauce)
wine + fresca

Gimme Da Gorbage

 We are low on food supplies here, post vacation we knew we'd be coming back to a minimal larder. I'm happy we made it to Thursday and we have something for dinner tonight.

I wasn't feeling super great this morning, didn't sleep well, so I slacked my team and said I'd be online late. I made it to our team meeting at 10:30 and then an IT department meeting at 11. Geoff was in the kitchen cheffing things up for himself. After the 11am meeting was over, I walked in to get more coffee and there it was. 

A pot of Mac & Cheese with bacon mixed in. 

Damn you. Damn you to hell, delicious Mac & Cheese.

I saw this meme on a friend's facebook page and had to laugh. There are times I'm super good and proud of how I'm doing, and it gets to be 8pm and I'm on full rampage what can I eat mode. Last night it turned out to be celery and peanut butter, which is much better than the Taco Bell drive through at 11pm. But... Gorbage. 

Also, how cute is that raccoon. 

Once I get myself to sleep, I'm fine for the night. I don't wake up at 2 am and want food. I drink water. I go back to sleep. But getting through from post-dinner to bed is a challenge for me. 

Gorbage. 

We have not been keeping any Gorbage in the house. Thankfully. Geoff does most of our grocery shopping, so I always tell him he can buy whatever he wants. In my heart of hearts, I want him to come back with boxes of Triscuits (cause I'm on Team Triscuit, yo), oreos, doritos. All the bad things. He comes back with kiwis and bananas. I gotta admit I'm proud of him for making his food choices but. Where's the Gorbage. 

I stood in the kitchen eyeballing the pot. He'd gone downstairs, and he always leaves enough for me or me and Doug when he makes food. There was plenty. I was hungry. I got a small ramekin from the cabinet and dropped a lump in. Still hot. Bacony goodness. I ate it and felt dumb and bad. But hey, bacon brings protein, right? 

For lunch I used the last of the bacon we had (about 6 strips) for a BLT salad. It was a giant bowl, and I left 2 strips of bacon out for Doug if he wanted eggs and bacon, and ate half the bowl of salad. Doug came up and finished the mac and cheese, the salad, and ate the bacon I left for him. 

Digits below.  

But look, the bowl is very very small. Very small. 

Exercise: 

Blood Glucose: 
10am: 163 
5:30pm 145
10pm 166

Food:
Coffee
Water
iced coffee
small ramekin of mac & cheese
large bowl of BLT salad
one cheeseburger, no bun, 3 pickle slices

ramekin of Mixed nuts
fresca
fresca + wine
several cherry tomatoes

118 is a nice number

We are enjoying a long, thunderous, wonderful storm right now. It is delightful because we just had some drama with Doug's aunt, which luckily Doug has the patience of a saint to deal with. Folks, my advice to you: pay your water bill. That's all I'm going to say.

And I was not going to have any alcohol, haven't had any for a couple days, but after this drama, plus the storm, I am in unwinding mode. Hope it doesn't mess things up but I'll know when I test before bed. 

This morning when I took my fasting blood glucose I was in for a surprise, and a good one. The reading was 118, which is the lowest I've seen since I started monitoring this a month or so ago. The very first reading I took was around 135 I think.  So this was smashing. 

For those who don't know, the goal for all of our readings is 110 or lower. But not too low. Like, 70 is super bad. 55 is right out. There's a sweet spot in the math. 

I'm supposed to go get my A1c rechecked soon, and I've been nervous because the daily numbers can be reflected in the A1c but I could have a low A1c with daily numbers that are "bad" or a high A1c with numbers that are on a downward trend. I found this article extremely helpful especially with the analogy of the baseball player's stats. We'll see when I go get tested at the end of the month.

I've actually gotten very bored with food. Very. I feel hungry but just don't care to eat anything I have. 

This happens when I'm avoiding carbs or on a diet. A lifelong issue. I'm also exceptionally anxious lately about stuff at work. My desire to snack grows when I'm anxious, and my annoyance with myself makes me want to snack and then I feel guilty. And I'm bored with food and recipes and just don't want to eat. But I want to snack. It's a vicious cycle. 

Oh and there's a nice flash and boom!

Last night for dinner, I diced up chicken breasts and made a yogurt/lemon/garlic marinade and that was nice. Very nice. I would have loved it on a bed of couscous with extra yogurt sauce and some sauteed spinach. mmmmmm. 

Today I made an improvised tuna melt. I'd been wanting one for a while, but am avoiding the bread. For this, I made myself (and Doug) a basic tuna salad. The basicness of it all bored me. I placed 2 lumps on a cooking tray, and melted cheddar cheese on top of it with some bacon.   I will say it was tasty, not exactly what I wanted. Should have diced the bacon up and mixed it in the salad. The tuna was better than basic, it was great. I make a good tuna salad. Also look at how beautiful that cheese melted there. gorgeous. 

Digits after the image.

Exercise: 

Blood Glucose:
8:30am 118
5pm 129
10pm 124
(best day ever!!!)

Food:
Coffee
Water
Pepitas (I think I'm addicted)
Improvised Tuna Melt
cheesesteak meat/veg/cheese without the bun
2 vodka tonics
smoked almonds
3 celery sticks with peanut butter

Put off until today what I should have done yesterday

I'm doing that thing again where I have something I need to do, but I can't. I just can't bring myself to commit to doing it. It isn't a bad thing or a hard thing. It involves me going downstairs and using the dual screen setup. And I just don't want to. 

Before I went on vacation I was supposed to do this, and Doug and Geoff were both constantly in my way. Geoff kept parading through, even though I asked him to either stay in his room or stay upstairs. Doug was in a lot of meetings, and I wanted more than a half hour to do this, in case I had to do multiple things associated with the thing. 

We're right back to where we were. Doug is in a meeting at 2. I have meetings from 3-4:30. I kind of feel like I should just go to the office and do this. 

Oh my gosh did I just say I'd rather do this at the office? Oh man. 

It must be bad for me to feel like that. 

I've got to admit, it would force me to do this, to sit in a quiet room with absolutely no distractions, no interruptions. No dog barking at the neighbors because someone let him out and left him there. No loud discussions happening upstairs or downstairs around me, which can distract and also end up being heard in the recording I need to make. 

When I feel this way, I just want to lay my head down, and go to sleep. I really can't focus, and my brain doesn't work. And then I start to get anxious, panic, and then I really can't work. 

But once I do it, I'm fine, everything is fine. I never used to be this way. It isn't a work from home thing, it is honestly something in the last 5 years that I've sort of been doing and I hate it. 

no photo today, I didn't go outside.

Exercise: hmmmmm no.

Blood Glucose:
9am 203
5:30pm 148
10pm 166

Food:
Coffee
Water
bowl of yogurt with blueberries and splenda
handful(s .... several) of pepitas 
salad with romaine, tomato, red onion, kalamata olives, feta, cucumber
grilled chicken strips marinated in yogurt, olive oil, garlic, dill, parsley and chives from our garden.

Of Mice And Plants

It was a relief to come home, and discover the half gallon of milk purchased before we left is still good.

It's always a huge fear of mine to wake up in the morning after travel, tired and needing a cuppa, and find that things are not okay with what was left in the fridge. We planned well when we shopped and five days away is not quite long enough for a foodpocalypse to happen in our absence.

I was gearing up to make some lunch, cook some bacon and make a salad but felt totally unmotivated. I  noted an open of a container of greek yogurt, and the bag of blueberries I took on the trip with us in the wee cooler for snack so opted for a nice bowl (and made room in the fridge). I'm still feeling road hangover from yesterday. I got plenty of sleep on Saturday night but couldn't stay awake in the car, falling asleep repeatedly over the 9 hours. 

Looking at Google Maps, even with going up and around the city it should only take us about 7.5 hours to get to my parents. 9 wasn't too bad yesterday. I just wish it wasn't so far. This drains me. Am I old? I used to do Boston to Beaver Valley Pennsylvania standing on my head and that was 12 hours with tons of road construction. I used to laugh at Doug's parents when they'd come visit or go home for stopping in Matamoras, PA and breaking the trip in half. Now I'm pretty sure it's the best idea. 

Luckily, this time of year (hello Solstice!) is the longest light, so even leaving later than intended you may still get home in the light. And we did. We had enough time to walk around the yard, assess the plants, note the invasion of the morning glories (oh boy) and still have light to do that with. Very nice.

This morning I slept in to 9. Doug was already at work downstairs and is in meetings and (I think) a training but it sounds very dramatic so I don't want to go downstairs and check on the happenings. I started unpacking and getting re-organized up here. I noted that there was mouse poop on our couch and on our side table. Mother fuckers. I found a little between the stove and the pantry. Doug had thought he heard a mouse nibbling in the wall recently, and so we'll be going on full offensive. 

I guess they came in here because there was no dog food to steal from the dog dish. Harumph. How dare you. 

We've lived in houses with lots of mice. I remember when we moved out of the brown house, Linda opened a closet to find a mountain of dog food and mouse poop, and a clear mouse superhighway from the closet to points everywhere. We will be shoring up things and taking care before this turns into an all out infestation. Doug is very cautious with anything that could be poison lest the dog discover it or discover a sick mouse and try to chomp it. 

It's a hard world for small things, as H.I. McDonough says in "Raising Arizona," but I'll be honest .... you get my mercy as long as you stay out of my house. 

Before we left, I watered the plants but a few of them are looking super drab. My carnivorous plants are just about dead. I should give up on them. There have not been any ants to feed them lately, and I'm reluctant to put them outside since birds already wrecked them. 

Hmmm. 

---

Exercise: 

Blood Glucose: 

9:30am: 163
5pm: 163
10pm: 239

Food: 

Coffee
Water
about 3/4 cup of almonds
bowl of yogurt with blueberries and splenda
grilled chicken thighs, sour cream, salsa, avocado, salad
wine & fresca

Home is where I want to be

 

We made it home at about 8:30pm, I am pretty sure we left my parents' at 11am. We really should break this trip into two stages and stay somewhere near Nyack NY or Fort Lee NJ. It's exhausting.

Connecticut is so long and in the way. I hated every minute of that stupid state.

We actually had a breeze of a time from the Cuomo Tappan Zee bridge all the way through to just south of Baltimore. Never before has that been so good. 

We ate at a diner in Hightstown NJ, which was great and Phin was welcome on the patio. 

Doug and Geoff crossed the street to a brewery that happened to be right there. We thought we'd take a little extra beer home with us since we crushed all the local beers I bought to bring home. Monsters. 

They got fussed at while standing, waiting to order. Doug got royally pissed off that he was obeying the sign to stand here to order beer. So they turned around and left. 

A few Doug rules in life: 

• Don't post a sign and then give the customer shit that they're obeying your rule AND then not wait on the customer. What kind of bullshit is that? 
• Don't cut in front of him in a buffet line. 
• Doug does not wait in line to be seated at a restaurant. 50 minutes for a table for four at Outback? With nowhere to sit and wait with the starving kids? Nope. Goodbye. There's other stuff. And he finds it, and it always works out. 

Anyway, I am hot and sweaty because our AC was off for six days and it is taking forever to cool the place down. I'm going to shower and go to bed. 

Pictured is my Dad for Father's Day. He weighs about 125 pounds, having a hard time keeping weight on, so it is worrisome but he says he feels well after his most recent trip to the hospital. This is good. 

anyway, the digits are below, and I don't have a photo jump so ... it is what it is. 

---

Exercise: Car sitting forever.

Blood Glucose:

9am: 241

4pm: 173

9:45pm 164

Food:

Coffee

Water

iced tea

more coffee

3 dunkin munchkins

approx 12 pepperoni slices 

Southwestern Salad, which consisted of grilled chicken, grilled chorizo, iceberg lettuce, tomato, red onion, shredded cheeses, kidney beans, and the best avocado I've had in forever.

From North To South

Friday morning we enjoyed our last moments at the cabin fully. We drank leisurely coffee while I stripped beds and futzed in the kitchen. We drove dirt roads down to the river. 

Goodbye Cabin. See you soon. You beautiful, lovely thing.

For lunch, C recommended a brewery nearby. So we headed there while tooling about on roads we had not touched for years. We sat out on the patio with the dog, praying that the gentle spritzes of rain would not turn into a full blown storm riot. We joked with the waiter that we would hold out hope, and our hope paid off. Lunch was amazing, and they had pickled pineapple which blew our minds so now Doug wants to try his hand at pickling pineapple. 

We'll be sure to let you know how that goes. And a writeup on the brewery will be in the shenanigans blog.

The hotel that we usually would have stayed at was 300 bucks a night, and we weren't going to pay that to stay somewhere where we just sleep. 

Also, you pay that kinda money when you want to walk to anything worth seeing, like a downtown or a pub or something. Give me a break, 300 bucks for a highway hotel with no restaurant. 

So I ended up booking a room at this other spot. Closer to Jess, near a couple decent restaurants, a liquor & beer store, McDonalds for quick brekkie. For a lot less than 300 a night. But... Meh. 

When you check into your hotel and it has a smelly tree on the light fixture near the beds, this isn't a good sign. 

The smelly tree was helpful, to be honest. The room was old. Ancient. In need of a complete rehab. The front desk guy explained to me at check in that they were building a whole new facility right behind this building, to be completed within 2 years. This building was going to be torn down after the new hotel was built, so there would be a huge parking lot for all the rooms. 

Back in the day you could tell it was a destination. Conference rooms, banquet hall, the signs were all still there. But no good updates for cleaning had been done for some time. Like everything was on hold for years before the pandemic, and then the pandemic happened. 

Opening the patio door let a lot of fresh air in, but it was hot. Luckily the air conditioner was powerful, and took the mustiness out of the room. 

Have to admit though, best shower head and hot shower I'd had in a hotel in a long time. It had faults, but positives. 

Lord Knows, I've stayed in a lot worse!

We took naps, and because we had a giant lunch at 2pm, we weren't hungry for dinner at 7 when we woke up. We took a nice walk through a park we love. A mile and a half flat tromp round trip, with mosquito motivation on the way back out. The walk around the whole pond would have been 3 miles , or more, if my memory serves. It would be pitch dark half way round, so we didn't want to deal with that. 

Jess and their friend Sara met us for ice cream after, and we sat outside chatting until after 10pm. Mosquitoes be damned. 

This morning, we packed up. I let the guy at the front desk know (same from check in) about the smelly tree and he was aghast. Room service really should have caught that. He was one of these guys you can tell is invested in where he works. And it was a comfortable night's sleep, even if the room was weird. I was not going to drag him on the internet. I'm interested in what the new facility is going to look like when it is all set. We'll see what the nature of things is cost-wise between the hotels up in that area will be and how it all shakes out. 

We got to my parents in time to take them out for late lunch/early dinner. I have been finding my mom very stressful. And they are both very fragile and old. 

We are now at a hotel near their house, a much better hotel. Very much. Tomorrow we hit the road to head south, but I wish we had another day. Driving from here to our house is going to take like 12 hours I just know it. 

sigh.

Anyway. 

Being back here, and having a Sam Summer beer in a Patriots glass was just right. Felt like home, yo.

Numbers after the image. 

Friday

exercise: mile and a half walk, futzing around the woods, loving being at the camp in the right amount of lazy and active 

Blood Glucose:

10am 154
6pm 210
11pm 251

Food
coffee
water
2 beers
charcuterie with cheese! meat! pickled things! 
cauliflower shawarma w/ piece of fried chicken
sugar free black raspberry ice cream

Saturday

exercise: not much, but local walkings and futzings. Fitbit is dead.

blood glucose:

9am: 209
2pm: 212
10pm: 206

food:
coffee
water
beer with lunch
giant salad with buffalo chicken (way too giant)
3 beers
almonds
3 slices of pizza sausage & onion
(apologies for bad food decisions today but that's what's here)

Remember, it's only one hour a week

Last night we got to see so many friends. It was delightful. 

Stan has helped so many Scouts through the program, and our son benefitted so much from his leadership.

Sometimes you can't hear mom and dad when they are giving you sound advice, or mom and dad are getting a little emotional about your lack of getting the point to get things done. Stan is a calming influence, an excellent advisor, asks the right questions, can correct behavior that needs correcting without coming off like a jerk or monster. Kids have had an amazing leader. What a gift he's been to the troop. 

And the Scoutmaster said there is no official "retirement" ceremony in Scouting but they made one up for him and it was great.

One of the big sayings we used to always chuckle about is that when you volunteer for Scouting it is "only one hour a week." It is not. It's a lot more, especially for the committee and the scoutmasters. But when you get shoulder to shoulder in planning, and there is a good team that clicks, the possibilities are endless. I truly am happy I got to walk through that process with this group of people. Scouting benefitted Geoff, but it also benefited me.

Stan's wife Kathy and I are good friends, and we've thrown down some big cookouts and Eagle parties together. Also there was Debbie and Pattie, two other moms that I was always very close to. Pattie's daughter and Kathy & Stan's son got married last summer, that's how family this troop is. There were a few people missing that I would have loved to have seen there but it's okay. We're still all in touch (thank you Facebook!) and I know there have been babies and weddings and engagements and life happening. Some of these "boys" are 30 or pushing 30 at this point. And I love them all dearly.

We got the full Troop treatment - an amazing BBQ, with moms and dads running the show and Scouts serving. There's one boy that I was convinced about 6 years ago wouldn't make it past his first year and it is so good to see him still involved and his mom all up in it. Get him to Eagle, momma. You can do it.  

The Scoutmaster of the troop is a drop dead riot. He brings a sort of silly campiness combined with a seriousness about life, the universe, and everything to the picture. 

There are 45 boys in the troop. It is huge right now. And they are doing so much. And doing it so well. I thought during our tenure with the troop through 2017 we were doing an amazing job, but really, it is so wonderful to see how great they're doing. 

We had fun with the mingling and chatting and the "ceremony" began. 

They did rank advancement on the big board that Stan built many years ago.  I noticed a huge gap in between the first year Scouts and the Eagle section. I guess the new tradition is to wheel this out once a year instead of at every advancement ceremony, which I kind of didn't like. I think wheeling it out once a quarter and having the boys move up incrementally instead of 5 ranks or something at the end of the year is their new thing. 

Everyone gets to create a new thing. 

Another thing that happened is two Scouts who achieved Eagle during the pandemic were given their Eagle pins, but they didn't do a whole be ceremony like Geoff had (and many others). They looped it into this  advancement event. These two Scouts are in college now, so they were excited to come back, get their missing recognition, and have this moment of recognition. 

I will say that when Geoff was a very young Scout we went to a full blown Eagle Ceremony, and he said to me right then he wanted to be an Eagle. I actually laughed at him and said "oh, okay buddy." And then he did it. So. The kind of inspiration that a small Scout can get from seeing an Eagle ceremony is pretty big. The younger Scouts in the troop didn't seem to care or pay attention to this. I think that I understand why Troops don't do it, but, I mean, it's big. Really big. 

They also didn't do something that our Troop did for years. We had all the Eagles in attendance come up and stand with the new Eagle, and introduce themselves and what year they got their Eagle. 

Sometimes there were uncles, family friends, old folks, and freshly minted Eagles and seeing an such an array of people who achieved  this too makes the Eagle feel like they're part of that unique community. 

There's always an "Eagle Charge" where the Scout gets to pick someone to give them their orders for going forward in life, and usually the Scout picks who gives them that charge.This was just one of the Scoutmasters in the Troop. Not their pastor or a recent Eagle from the Troop. I'm sure he's a great guy, but it didn't feel special to me. So I felt that was missing.  Or at least, I missed it.

At the end of that, it was Stan's time. He was given his plaque for his "years of service" which was a riot because he couldn't remember when he started with Scouting. His oldest, Jason, was probably in first grade when Stan started volunteering, and Jason is now 31. Rather than do math, they went with the acknowledgement that it was years. 

We had more fun mingling, and I got a picture of the Eagles in attendance and Stan. I didn't realize until after that Tom, the Scoutmaster who got Geoff through his final years of Scouting, was not in the picture. He was there, but somehow I missed out on asking him to join. 

In addition to getting his Eagle rank yesterday, Shane, the one in uniform, also was celebrating his birthday. Everyone sang to him because his 3 sisters goaded him to stand up there with everyone surrounding. Shane is such a loving, dear heart. So I was happy to be here for this. 

Who knew? I thought we were just going up to celebrate Stan and there we were, doing the whole Scouting thing again. And I do miss it. I miss the friends, I miss the projects and the work. I miss the boys (and girls) involved. I miss them all. 

A do nothing day

(Entry should have pubbed Thursday but I went to bed before finishing) 

Here is a picture of Phin the magnificent travel companion. 

Didn't get an entry on Wednesday because of the travel. 

I mentioned in Tuesday's entry that after the campfire I couldn't sleep. It is like that for me sometimes before travel.

Doug had put on some laundry and went to bed saying he'd get up early and put it in the dryer. I told him not to worry about it, since I was pretty wide awake and I'd get it in there.   

And then I remembered I was supposed to do something for 4 stations in North Carolina. It was 11:30pm. I was feeling like my brain was zooming off in so many directions, and found that I could not even remember how to do the thing at all. I slacked my colleague, asked him to take care of it. He slacked me at 6am and said he did. What's great about it is I had emailed the folks who needed the thing done and told them I'd have it done before I left for vacation (at around 7pm). Thankfully,  I have such good coworkers and colleagues that asking them for help when my garbage brain is a mess pays off. Whew.

 Doug's laundry was ready for the dryer around midnight, so I loaded that up, and hit the hay. I tried to sleep but was hot and sticky from the campfire and my brain was still zooming. Normally, I like smelling like summer campfires as I fall off asleep, but it was annoying me so much. I also realized that if I wanted to shower, I'd have to get up early to shower. So either way, I'd be losing sleep.

Screw it. I opted to shower at 1am. I felt instantly more calm, relaxed, and went to bed listening to Lore. I think I got 10 minutes into the episode when I fell asleep. Note to self.... showers are nice when you are not able to sleep. You actually know this fact. Just apply it once in a while.

I woke up at 5:00 and needed to pee. Since I had been in the guestroom, I quietly passed my bedroom hoping not to wake up the dog. Failure. He heard me, came out, and wanted to go out too. Can't deny a beast who wants a pee. Totally not fair. 

I let him out, started a pot of coffee so it would be ready when Geoff got up (he had an alarm set for 6). I fed the dog, he snarfed his breakfast down and got back in bed immediately. I went back to the guest room to hope to grab another couple zzzzs. 

And could not fall back asleep. Fitbit said I had 3.87 hours of sleep which sounds pretty accurate. We hit the road very early for us. We're usually planning on being out the door by 8 and maybe we're lucky for 9. We were mobile at 8. 

The GPS said that we'd be here at 4:10 and I laughed. If all the cars in between here and there were suddenly blown up, maybe. I factored in at least an hour for food/breaks/rest/gas. 

I put money on 6pm. We got here a little bit before 7. C had the grill pre-heated and drinks in the fridge. Bless bless bless. This is the welcoming committee.Oh hello.

Because I had less than 4 hours of sleep, and she'd flown a red eye that morning, both of us were convinced we'd be asleep by 8:30pm. But we pushed through, had our second wind, and made it to 10:30. 

Phineas settled in nicely. C has 2 dogs but they were back with M at the primary residence, jealous of not being here I'm sure. But Phin is just so bad with other dogs, I don't want to chance him getting super bitey and fighty. 

We slept well.

Phin woke up to pee at 2am, and I tried to just get him to go back to sleep but he wasn't having it. He was scared to jump off the bed, so I had to turn the light on for him. He was scared to walk down the stairs, so I went and got my phone to get a flashlight guide. 

I found a leash, because I for sure didn't trust him just going out, peeing, and coming back. He was amped up, smelling everything and just wanting to be out there. I just wanted to get back in bed. Eventually he did his thing, we came back in, he drank a whole bowl of water, and we went back to bed. 5:30, his usual witching hour, back outside. This time it is light enough he can really see. I didn't leash him and we walked all over the perimeter of the house, sniffing all the things, and being very interested in sounds and sights. We got back to the door and he went straight to it. I fed him, but he wasn't interested. I got him up the stairs again (keeping in mind, we do not have stairs in our house so this is just wild to him, I bet!) He jumped back in bed next to Doug and we went back to sleep. 

Doug got up 45 minutes later and he and Phin left. I slept until 10. Just straight out, non moving, no restlessness, sleep. 

Made up for Tuesday in a big way. C has a nice Keurig with a milk frother so I went nuts making foamy delicious milky goodness for my brew. Look at how pretty. 

Like a freakin' postcard or something. 

C went to work, and Doug and Geoff had already had coffee. Geoff took himself on a walk that he estimates was a mile and a half at least, he found the Lamprey River, followed some trail markers and got back without fuss. He also took Phin for a walk too.  

Geoff is sometimes very restless, and without going to the gym for an outlet, he is a fidgeter. He walked around the house a lot last night, and in fact, he made me think that he and Phin are related. The two of them were just in investigation mode a lot last night. And today in the daylight I'm glad he took note of the trails and took himself on a walk. 

Our goal today was to go to a nearby brewery for lunch, but they don't open until 3 on Thursdays. We have to be somewhere at 6pm tonight, so the idea of waiting until 3 to go, and showing up maybe late (it's an hour away) made us both call off the brewery plan. Doug found a BBQ place online and went to grab take out. It was pretty good, everything but the half chicken, which was dry and depressing. It'll probably make a nice chicken salad, is my guess. 

Today just feels good so far, doing absolutely nothing. I checked my email for work, and some guy had emailed me three times directly but I think he reached out before my auto response was activated, and was getting progressively grumpier with my lack of reply. So I'm glad I looked. I helped him and hooked him up with the team for further assistance should he need. 

Jess is coming to watch Phineas for us tonight while we're at the thing. C is taking her uncle out for dinner. So everyone is covered for happenings. 

Tomorrow, we'll venture out to the brewery for lunch, and there's an antique shop I want to visit that moved near here from Massachusetts. We're going to go stay at a hotel tomorrow night down closer to Jess, not sure what our plan is for the evening. Then drive down to see my parents and stay that way on Saturday night. Home on Sunday. 

Until then, I've run the washer (it didn't spin from the load earlier so I've rerun it), I showered, I got the dishwasher unloaded, and started the reload, I'm just waiting for Jess to arrive for some time with them. 

Doug and Phin are napping on the porch, it is all very quiet right now. And it feel really good.

It's a good day. 

Alright. Digits are below the pictures. 

Camp Couch Life, naptime, porch happiness. Yay! 

Digits

Wednesday

Exercise:

no exercise due to being in the car

I have my Blood Glucose levels but they were all in the 150 range from AM to PM. Nice

Food:
Coffee
Water
Patty Melt on marble rye
some french fries
diet coke
3 steak tips
Amazing layer salad
Water

Thursday

Exercise: some walking around the camp and stuff

Blood Glucose

10am: 174
5pm: 160
11pm: 191

Food:

Coffee
Water
BBQ, pulled pork, a rib, some chicken, cole slaw w/ apples, piece of cornbread
cheeseburger no bun, hot dog no bun, salad, oreo cookie, diet coke
glass of wine 

The sooner you leave the sooner you're home back in Massachusetts

Thanks, Guster, for the title. Even though I'm not Homecoming King and I'm not a bully.  But I am going back to Massachusetts.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we are off to "home." Off to Massachusetts. 

Always have certain feelings when I head back there, especially when I'll be seeing friends. It's not like going somewhere else, where you don't have history, where people are just people and are nice people. It's not vacation. Really. There's family and friends. I hope to see some. I know I'll see some. 

Tonight, I was chatting with my sister on video and Doug came out to put a bunch of recyclable items into the fire pit. I asked him if we were having a fire. He said it was up to me. I said, it looks like you are planning a fire. Why are you bringing these items out to the pit when you can just leave them in the house until we get back? He said he just wanted to get them out. 

Next thing I knew, things were on fire. So I said to Linda "I guess we're having a fire?" 

So that was nice and also it was derailing. There were things I wanted to do, but, instead, I got more wine, got the portable JBL speaker out, cranked up some Guster, and we sat by the fire together. 

Earlier in the day, someone on my work Slack posted that they were moving from DC to LA and they had a bunch of stuff they were selling. We were in need of some dining room chairs, so, she had some. Hell yes. Someone on Facebook Marketplace was supposed to come in the morning and get them and they blew her off so she was frustrated and offered things up to the office. 

Hell yeah. 

Doug and I drove down, and got 4 of her 6 chairs. One of them is kind of a good living room chair that they called "The Throne," and the other 3 are good for the dining table. 2 match, and one of them is just kind of a cool chair.  We'll have a completely mismatched set of chairs in kind of a cool, kitchy, shabby chic sort of way at our beat up farm table. I kind of love it. I'll be sure to take pictures of them later. 

In the meantime, I'm kind of wired, which is unfortunate because the alarm clock is set for 6am. I just put Doug's laundry in the dryer (after telling him he should put the clothes in the wash at like 6pm, he put it all in there at like .... 11pm). I have one small project for work but maybe had too much wine, so no. I won't touch. But I'll ask my colleague to take care of it in the morning. I'll slack him now so it looks like I am working. Ha.

Oh, here's a picture of the fire that Doug started that I ended up hanging out around until like 11pm. We haven't had a fire for a while so this was very nice and very fun. Digits below the image. 

See you in less than 24 hours, Massachusetts!

Exercise: Watered the garden, putzed around, carried chairs down some stairs. Not an actual workout but. got some steps.

Blood Glucose: 

9am: 192
6pm: 185
11pm: 155

Food:

Coffee
Water
Iced Coffee
3 sausage patties and 1/2 avocado
salad with romaine & tomatoes
6 nice pieces of pork "steak tips"
bleu cheese
Wine & Fresca

Another Monday and More Vacation Days

 We are headed up to Massachusetts on Wednesday. 

Thursday night, Geoff's Eagle Mentor from Boy Scouts is retiring, after a lot of years giving support and guidance to the wacky kids of Troop 87. Stan's got 3 boys, all went through the Scouting program. I love each of them. And after his youngest finished up, he stuck around as an adult leader. He's an award winning Scoutmaster, and a gift to the organization. 

When they emailed us to let us know about the retirement we knew it was a no-brainer. We had to be there to celebrate. For all Stan did for Geoff over the years, we wanted to celebrate. 

Stan also saved my bacon once on a camping trip!

We were leaving the campsite and I got in my car to start it up, I was last in the queue, and my car wouldn't start. 

I managed to get out fast, wave my arms, and Stan looked in his rear view mirror to see me.  Thankfully. No cel signal at that location, I would have been doomed. Turned out my alternator was shot, but he
jumped it, as long as I kept it running it would be okay. 

We all have people in our lives who take time, see something in us, recognize our potential. Geoff doesn't have that many people who have been fully invested in him the way Doug and I have been. 

Scouts was the best thing that could have happened in Geoff's life, and a large part of that is Stan. I was just looking through all my old pictures and there are some gems. Stan helped arrange the relationship between our troop and the AmVets in town to continue to retire flags, and a lot of times Eagle projects fall by the wayside. The flag program is still continuing, six years later. 

With the cost of gas, and taking time off, and taking the dog with us and all, it's kind of a hassle. I sort of felt like we should not go. But. It will be worth it. 

Plus we get to see Jess and C, and my parents, and anyone else we can connect with. Happy to go up there. I was talking to our old neighbor who lives not too far from here in Bowie, and she says every time she goes back she gets so depressed. I told her i know exactly how she feels. But it's worth it. It really is.

Here's a picture of Geoff, with his Eagle Mentors Stan (with the beard) and Thane at his Eagle ceremony. Can't wait to see them both. 

Digits! 

Exercise:

Blood Glucose:
8:30am: 160
5pm: 192
10:30pm:178

Food:
Coffee
Water
bowl of yogurt with some black raspberries & a small peach cut up
salad with 2 diced chicken thighs leftover from dinner the other night (goat cheese, romaine, tomatoes, red onion, chipotle ranch dressing)
bowl of chili

wine & fresca

I love lamp

 I mentioned the lamp in a previous post but wanted to tell the full tale. 

When we were in New Orleans there was a shop next to our hotel that sold really pretty glass lamps and collectibles from Turkey. We browsed the store one day, and thought to ourselves that we should cruise around and see if there were dozens of these unique Turkish lamp stores in the city, or, if this was the only one. 

In one or two stores, we saw one or two of these cool lamps. But it wasn't at all like some of the shops where every five feet, there's a store selling all the same things. The day we left, Doug said we should go pick up a lamp as a gift to ourselves. If the price was good and the shipping not ridiculous. Doug usually doesn't act this way - we don't buy stuff for ourselves like this. Or he says this would be a good idea, and then we never buy it. That's just cloud talk. 

So we went into the shop to look and see what we agreed on. When we went in, there were a couple other people shopping, and a dining chair in the middle of the sidewalk, and 3 other chairs standing by the front door of an upstairs apartment access. Royal Street is exceptionally messy in places, so I was not surprised there was a chair just on its side in the middle of the sidewalk. 

There were these amazing ceiling lights that if we had a high entry way, they'd look outstanding. There were floor lamps that had 6-8 globes hanging down on chains, and they could stand in a corner or at the bend in a staircase and be amazing. That was nothing we needed. We went to the tabletop pendulum lamps, and the lamps with bases to see which one we liked most.

The shopkeeper was really nice, and very friendly. He offered us Turkish coffee, which we felt compelled to accept. He brought out these teeny tiny itty bitty coffee cups, and the liquid was brutally hot so it took awhile to get to the point where I could drink it. Thicker than espresso, and no offer of froth/milk, the coffee tastes a little like mud sifted through dirt and set on fire. It is incredibly strong (and I needed the caffeine badly after our Wednesday night trip out to a brewery). 

I guess you are supposed to put sugar in it but we asked for no sugar when he offered, and he laughed. 

Now I know why, and I know better.

A lot of the lamps had eye patterns on them. Turkish culture (and many other cultures) have a history/tradition of using the Nazar eye in art and jewelry, click here to learn a little more. 

The eye is a protection usually in the form of an amulet or charm you wear to protect you from other people's envious glares. The "Evil Eye" as it were. You can buy lots of different colored eyes, each color has special meaning. 

Doug wasn't grooving on all the eyes and eyeballs in the lamps, he thought they were creepy and looking at him. And he wouldn't be comfortable with some eyeball gawking at him while he watches "Better Call Saul." So he picked a pattern that had no eye, and there were fewer of these on the shelf. We settled on one that was mostly just clear crystal, blue, black and purple shapes in a wavy pattern.  

Doug shopped for a few other things (he ended up getting some pretty table trivets to put hot dish out onto) and the shopkeeper talked to me, and talked. And Talked. 

He has a small warehouse up here in Maryland, full of items. He's got this one shop, and is trying to get other shops around the city to also distribute his wares. I told him we saw two shops with similar lamps, he said those shops are in partnership with him, but they sell the lamps for slightly more so we came to the right place. He pays a lot of money every month for the retail space and storage. He lived in DC, but his girlfriend got kind of crazy during the pandemic, so they broke up. He always wanted to live in New Orleans so. He moved there. 

We got his whole life story.

Doug says that I have an invisible tattoo on my forehead that says "please, come talk to me and tell me everything."

We escaped when the police showed up. A guy had thrown a chair into his shop (a ha. That explains the chair!) before we arrived, so he had obviously called the police. He was calm, cool and collected. You never would have known someone caused a fracas before we came in. 

He said he needed to chat with the police, we told him we needed to mosey, shook hands, and went on our way. We heard him telling the story to the cops about a white guy "no shirt on, so skinny that he needs more than a sandwich..." and I laughed. 

Saw that guy freaking out a couple blocks away by the Walgreens cause they threw him out. There's your suspect, officer. 

The lamp arrived the other day while I was in Richmond. It is very pretty. Not easy to photograph. But I like it. He set it up in the livingroom, not where I wanted it but where the nearest outlet is. So that works. 

Here's a picture of food. This was my lunch. Digits below the omelet!

Exercise: Again, stormy rainy day lined up, I doubt we will get out there anywhere.

Blood Glucose: 

9am: 190
5pm: 150
10pm: 154

Food:

Coffee
Water
3 egg omelet with 10 leftover grilled shrimp, goat cheese, avocado. 
buffalo wings with celery & bleu cheese
wine & fresca spritzer (4)
almonds

My Person's Birthday

 Hard to believe but my oldest child turns 30 today. 

I miss spending time together and would love if they were comfortable traveling here. Would love some Jess time here at my house. We get to see them next week when we go up to Massachusetts so that's nice. I'm very looking forward to it. 

Recently, they quit all social media (except the twitter maintained for the cat that shares their apartment) so online updates are few and far between. I guess there's a new cat in the house so ole Doyle's in for a run for her money. It makes me not check Twitter or Instagram anymore because now there's nothing redeeming to look at on the internet. So I don't look too often and then there's like news of something exciting from one of the bands I like and I say "damn it, Jess, why'd you have to quit Twitter!" 

I've never had a super close relationship with my mom. Some of my friends talk to their moms every day, and I can go weeks without touching base. I called daily while my dad was hospitalized several weeks ago to get the updates, and that was the most contact I've had with her since Christmas. 

I have always found it difficult to communicate with her. Everything is about her. Her reactions, her opinions, she doesn't listen to anything I share. If I tell her something about us, she then turns it to "well, when I was once blah blah blah" and it is like, no. Lady. I am trying to tell you about our experience and you're turning it onto what you once did, felt, experienced, but not in a way of giving advice. It's almost like competition, or one-upmanship. It isn't helpful, and it makes me not want to talk to her. 

Knowing this about my mom, I've always hoped to have a more open and chatty relationships with Jess. I was always envious of friends who talk to their moms every week, or go on trips and travel together. My cousin Debi and my aunt Carole went on all kinds of trips together before Carole passed away, and it always made me wish for that kind of a close relationship, not with my mom but with Jess. 

One of the things I try to do with Jess, and with other people too (to be honest), is ask questions about them and their life. And not really interject 'me' or 'I' statements into the conversation. My aunt Carole was this way, and my sister and I would joke around about her being "Auntie Twenty Questions." But when I look back on that kind of discourse, it's very loving to want to know about someone's life and experience, and get the updates. It may feel a little bit like prying or spying, or being nosy though. So I try to be careful.  

Jess is a specific person, but, we've never had very direct discussions about their life. You'll notice the "they/them/their" pronouns and to be honest I only know about it because of Twitter. We've never sat down, and had open honest discussions about "things." And that is okay, if they don't want to. I do my best to use pronouns, and short name Jess. I want to honor the person they are. 

It's really weird though to remember where I was 30 years ago right now. When friends came to visit me in the hospital during and after birth. How my college roommate took Doug to Burger King after a few hours of me being in active labor because he was hungry and how mad I was that they got to eat when I was not allowed. 

Jess is much more introverted than I am, and that came as a surprise to me. I always thought Jess was very friendly, social, engaging. "So much mine" as the song by The Story goes. But they were very good at faking it. And I was often confused when pushback would come at the older years when we wanted to do something, or we wanted them to do something, and they did not want to. I get it now, and I really wish sometimes they'd been more open and honest with us, or, that I was able to pick up on cues to interpret what they need. I blew it a couple times, and got my feelings hurt but I recognize that some of those times were honestly on me. 

Anyway. I give a lot of grace and leeway. If and when they wanna chat about life and stuff and junk, well then. I'm there. Jess will always be my person. I'm very proud of who they are. I wish I could have done more back around 2010 and college, with money and situations. But it was what it was, and now it is what it is, and we can only look at what it can, should, will, or may be. 

There are so many stories and memories. Some my stories to tell, and some theirs. It would take a lot of time to write things out, and to be honest, I should. I sometimes worry about my memory, recollection, historical accuracy. 

I also do not know how they feel about pictures from their childhood. I know a lot of people feel a certain way about not showing pictures from the past because of the fact they are no longer that person. Recently saw someone post "If you knew me in high school, you didn't know me." Because we all change so much, and that's part of life. But some people feel that their "past" existences are dead to them. So I want to be respectful and not post 100 pictures. It's different for me and my sister - we love pictures of ourselves when we were little. But I don't think Jess does. I've never asked, but I just get that feeling, you know? 

 I just went through a number of photos in flickr, and am tempted to share things. Some of them are just beautiful and stunning.

I'll share this one, mostly because the dimensions are great. And it is irresistible. Digits below the photo.

Exercise: it's pouring out. no.

Blood Glucose:
9am: 191
4pm: 171
10pm: 207 (probably because the late after dinner potato roll pb snack)

Food:
coffee
water
1/2 cup greek yogurt with about 8 black raspberries in it (just to get them all out of the way in the fridge)
grilled shrimp over salad with grilled asparagus and 1/2 avocado
chunks of cheddar as snacks
peanut butter on a potato roll