I don't think I've written a post like this in quite a while. So. Buckle up. Here's the full tale of the trip to New Orleans, with pictures and all that jazz. Pun Intended. HA!
Doug is usually a man who doesn't like going back to the same vacation destination more than once (unless family is involved). I need to point this out because this is the third time we've been to New Orleans.
Albeit, the last time was him piggybacking on me going to a conference September 2019. He flew down to join me for a couple days at the end of things, we stayed in a gorgeous VRBO near Frenchman St., which sadly is no longer available. And we had a great time on that trip.
The first time was April 2017, and I didn't do a detailed entry about that visit but made some sweeping observations that still pretty much stand. Go read it and enjoy if you like.
There's a lot to really love about New Orleans, but there is also a lot of grossness about it. I kind of want to write a whole other post about that. But. Here's the thing that is the most gross for me. It is hot. So hot. Each of the entries I posted in the past mention the heat and how much I hate it. This is the end of May/beginning of June so it is the "hottest" that we've visited. August has got to be a gateway to hell and I do not think I'd ever want to be there to experience that.
Everyone told me how pleasant the weather was while we were there. I thought they were joking.
They were not. They meant it.
We flew early on Saturday morning and took a taxi straight to our hotel, arriving there at 10am.
The plan was to ask if we could concierge our bags and go walk about the city unencumbered. They told us they had a room ready and we could just check in. Nice! How convenient!
Our hotel was on Royal Street a half a block away from Canal, if you're familiar with the city. It's kind of far from the Jackson Square and the St. Louis Cathedral, which I consider the heart of the city or at least the heart of where I'd like to spend time.
Decatur, Chartres, Royal, Bourbon, Dauphine, all lead over to Esplanade which kind of divides the city, French Quarter to the Fauborg-Marginy area, and then there is the Bywater beyond that.
I am not a fan of the Bourbon Street scene, and think the better place to hang out and have cocktails and hear jazz is over at Frenchman Street beyond Esplanade. It's a lot more fun for me. I don't need the hand grenade or cock-shaped take out daiquiris, the dirty t-shirts like "I got Bourbon Faced on Shit Street," or the bars playing rap or country music at top volumes, or the strip clubs.
Walking each of those streets listed above is very different. Of all of them I think I like Dauphine the best.
Fewer bars, beautiful homes, kind of like the it spot if you wanted to live in town. Personally, I would like the Garden District or Irish Channel, far afield but accessible within minutes and then back away when ready to not be there anymore.
The courtyards we could see when peeping down the alleys were gorgeous oases with pools and palm trees. Fronts of houses facing the street are often not too exciting, shutters are closed and things kind of look abandoned. But once you catch a glimpse through the wrought iron gates, you can see yourself living there and enjoying the space with your (hopefully) cool neighbors.
Anyway.
We were ready for lunch because our bodies thought it was 1pm by the time we got back outside, so we went around the corner to a bar we'd been to many times in the past (I won't even mention the name because I don't want it to be found in a Google search or anything).
It simply was not as good as we remembered it. We were disappointed. Like, the last two times we were in New Orleans I kind of thought to myself, wow... this could be my familiar if I lived here. But now I actually think if I went back I wouldn't even bother visiting again.
After two lame cocktails and not the best lunches, we walked back to Royal and over to Frenchman Street and Decatur to Brieux Carre brewing. The beer was spectacular, but it was hot hot hot as fuck out in the patio, and I was feeling super uncomfortable after a while, so we headed back.
Doug can walk for 20 miles and the heat doesn't impact him at all. I was feeling super sick and couldn't wait to get back to the hotel to rest a bit before dinner. We took naps and Doug woke up realizing our reservation for dinner was 6pm, not 7.
Oops. it's 5:30. Awesome.
Rushing to dress and get ready he called the restaurant and let them know we were running late, would they hold our reservation for an extra10 min. They were very kind.
Dinner was at Copper Vine, which is a half mile away from our hotel and totally walkable, but we had to Uber over to be there on time. Dinner was very nice. Doug was very much looking forward to wine and charcuterie, so we started with that, and both of us had big beautiful salads which were lush and rich and full of all kind of goodness. And more wine.
The heat had kind of broken, and sitting on the patio was incredibly relaxing after the heat of the day earlier. Sadly, I didn't take any pictures of the food and drink, but it was a beautiful way to end a busy day.
Sunday
We got up with the hopes of just getting a cup of coffee and hanging out by the river for a while. Our hotel didn't have a coffee service, which is horrible if you ask me (scandalous!). And we quickly discovered the grab a cup of coffee philosophy doesn't exist in New Orleans.
The lines at the beignet places were out the door and around the block. Starbucks and McDonalds - same thing. Holy shit, I just want a cup of coffee. the hell?
We wandered around forever until we found the PJ's coffee past the casino, where the line was long, but at least it was inside. I want coffee, but I'm not standing in a line 50 people deep to get one. Fuck that shit.
Finally, with coffees in hands, we walked over to the river and sat by the Aquarium and watched the ferry over to Algiers and the big huge ships make their turn around Algiers point. It's one of my favorite things about sitting on the river in New Orleans. The suns shifted, and we walked a little further down to find some shade. There is hardly any in that area, so finding a bench under a tree is like a pearl in an oyster.
We were there once upon a time, and loved it. Spent a whole hot day there.
It used to be open 365/24/7 back in the day but now is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, so we figured if we were going to go there, it would have to be that day.
We wanted to take the St. Charles Avenue Streetcar, but there was literally a mile long wait, and the streetcar was not showing up. So we got an Uber over. We enjoyed a tremendous lunch, with me trying hard not to drink beer.
Our waiter came over after we ordered and were eating our lunches, he came back and told us there was to be a Chimay tasting with their 3 "levels" of beer (white, red, and blue) and a cheese board featuring Chimay's own cheese.
Well. Okay then, twist my arm!
We'll have second lunch! It was worth it and wonderful. The Chimay distribution rep was in house, so she came over to chat with us about beer and we had a great time.
My only complaint was the grapes had seeds.
Everything else was gorgeous and perfect. That cheeeeeeeeese. It's like if cheddar and brie had a baby. More please.
Here's a selfie of me in the bathroom. I took the exact same picture a couple years ago. Here is 2022!
And .... here is 2017!
The paint job got a little refreshing over the past couple years, but, the same feel!
Full of cheese, lunch salad, some hard seltzer, and beer (I only had a couple sips off Doug's chalices and the seltzer is harmless according to Doug) we walked over to the Lower Garden District via Camp to Magazine.
We stopped into a couple little shops just to cool off, and make new friends like this giant possum, and then took a break at Tracey's for some water and a quick beer for Doug, just so we were buying something while taking up real estate.
After a couple more blocks I called an audible and said we had to stop and head back. It's funny because I thought we were actually walking back towards downtown but nope. Further away. Ugh.
No way we were going to walk all the way back to the hotel, or to our 5pm destination. Doug had made plans for us to see the Palmetto Bug Stompers at d.b.a. bar on Frenchmen.
We had a very adventurous Uber ride, and arrived to a virtually empty bar which surprised us. Doug had made reservations to come see the band, and the bartender laughed a little like that's so cute. I guess they "suggest" it but ... you don't need them.
We settled in with drinks and the bartenders and regulars were mingling around. As usual, we got to talking to folks at the bar. Lots of regulars seem to hang out there, and I kind of hoped we'd get an invite to a pool party one guy was planning for the next day with ceviche and everything (sadly, he did not invite us).
There was a couple there who own Downtown Tattoo a couple blocks away, Terry and Hayley. Terry and I had a great discussion about NPR and the local public media scene (both NPR Member station and non-NPR stations).
We talked craft brewing with Julie behind the bar and she recommended we head to Zony Mash on Tuesday night for the Rebirth Brass Band show. Duly noted.
This was a great experience, the bar staff was wonderful, the band was amazing. We were surprised hardly anyone was there at 5 but the band did 3 sets, 45 minutes each, and by the end of the third one the place was packed with dancers and revelers. They were truly fantastic. So much fun.
We enjoyed drinks and music and drinks and music and some more drinks and music.
Disappointing. But I get it.
We were both pretty hungry so we went to Willie's Chicken Shack across the street and slammed through some fried chicken. Hot. Fresh. Hot .... just what you need when you've been listening to jazz and drinking a lot for hours.
We got frozen daiquiris, but I got such a giant brain freeze off of mine that I couldn't finish it. Walking back to the hotel was a long and brutal trip at this point between the drinking and the lots of miles on the feet.
We took our time, resting along the way as some blisters were forming on my feet and killing me. Oy. And whew... we made it.
And I got to see my friend Touchdown Jesus behind the cathedral.
Hello, old friend. You are the best.
Monday
Each time we've visited New Orleans I've wanted to take a riverboat tour. Doug has always pooh poohed doing that, but this time he thought sure .... let's go.
There are a few options out there, so he picked the history tour on the Creole Queen which goes down to the Chalmette Battlefield in Jean Lafitte National Park.
The tour guide was a riot, kind of like William Shatner meets Zapp Brannigan (Futurama) with lots of bad jokes, Doctor Who references, and good history.
I mean, look at this color, the clouds, the sky, the grass. I can feel how hot it is just looking at this. It was a good and relaxing way to spend the day.
The service was slow and a little painful, although our waiter himself was charming and delightful.
I had crab egg rolls and a salad, and the egg rolls were almost as good as this place in Baltimore that I love, but not quite. Still. Very nice.
We waited forever for the chargrilled oysters and our second drinks. The oysters were supposed to be Doug's appetizer but he got his entree first. With apologies. And my second cocktail was free because the bartender was way behind, and the waiter comped it to us because of the wait.
Doug wanted to watch the Rangers game which started while we were waiting for his food. So he was a little annoyed that we didn't get to place a bet on the game. After dinner, we headed over to the Harrah's Casino to sit at the bar, have some cocktails, play video poker, and watch the hockeys.
We got there to find the spot closed that we wanted to go to, and the other spot was full. But a lady passed out and fell on the ground so we were a little astonished. A bunch of people left, so we took their seats. Ha. And I watched the staff and EMTs deal with the passed out lady. It was a little sad. Her husband just stood there as she wrapped her arms around his calf.
The Rangers were crushing the Hurricanes and it was kind of a non-game, which was sad, extra sad as I sat there thinking on the passed out lady on the floor.
The bartender pretty much was ignoring us and the game was no good, so we left him a tip (the drinks are gratis as long as you're playing the video poker. You stop playing, you pay) and we got up and left.
We wandered over to the penny slots and found a two-seater Hobbit game. Doug was very hype for it. We each had 100 bucks alloted to spend (we have our limits and this is an indulgence) so we sat down to play.
The graphics and sound were amazing, and usually I get tremendously bored with casinos but this had my attention.
The entire time I'm thinking "What on earth would JRR Tolkien think about this!?" And then I pressed the play button again.
At one point, I managed to be up by an extra hundred dollars and was ready to cash out victoriously when Doug ordered a cocktail, Hmmmm. So I kept playing. My goal is never to fall under that starting $100. Leave with what you came in with, kid.
There was a feature in the game that spat out bonus spins of 8, 10, 12, 20, and 40. I hit for 8 a couple times and that was a nice payoff, but once again I was slipping down towards my limit of 100 dollars and was ready to cash out, break even.
I hit the 40 bonus spins dealie. Huh.
And the machine went to town. I just sat there and watched Martin Freeman and the dragon and cast of all characters and flames shooting all over the place and orcs and all kinds of shit just doing stuff.
Holy Moly. What is happening. WHAT WOULD JRR TOLKIEN THINK OF THIS!!!!
Next thing I know I'm up like 600 bucks and then some. There was a woman who had been loitering around us yelling about how great this is going for me and how it was amazing. I'm in my mind begging her to not bring attention to my situation. She kept yelling "Every time I come here, someone's on this machine and I want to play it, but look at you go!" Another woman came over to see what the commotion was all about. And they were yelling about how great this was.
I said "Lady, it's yours as soon as this is done because it isn't going to get any better for me. I'm going to cash out."
Doug was up about $70 from his starting hundo at that point too, so I told him I was ready to leave.
I cashed out of the machine, handed my cheerleader lady 20 bucks as a gift for bringing me good luck, and it was like someone gave her a Ferrari or something.
I wished her the best.
Luckily, someone near us hit for something crazy because their machine was about to explode, and security was around them while they waited for the floor manager to come over. And to kind of protect him from the attention he was getting.
We cashed out with about $850 or so, from our starting 200 bucks. We casually exited the casino. Canal Street is super sketchy all day and night. I honestly started to get a little anxious. It was a half mile walk to the hotel and I was wondering who watched us inside, and reported to someone outside. Maybe my new friend Della who was so excited for my win was an informant to someone standing on the corner of Poydras and Canal to approach us.
I've actually never been paranoid like that before, so it was a wild fear. Only one guy hit us up for change so he could get the streetcar home. Doug had 2 bucks handy in his pocket, so he gave it to him and we kept walking.
Basically half the trip was paid for with this win. Kind of a fun experience.
We went up Chartres towards Decatur Street and over to the New Orleans Jazz Museum through the French Market in the shade.
The Jazz Museum was pretty nice. There was a security guard at the desk saying that the regular admission is $8 but the cashier was on break so we could just "drop whatever" we wanted into the donation bin, he didn't have access to the cash register. I think they made out better because, of course, we only had $20 bills and no smaller change to put in. Good job, security guy!
We spent a lot of time in the Louis Prima exhibit at the museum. I love that guy. What a showman. There was a lot of photography and art by local artists (including portraits of the washboard player for the Palmetto Bug Stompers and Chaz fest, which was a neighborhood alternative to Jazz fest, and is sadly no more).
They had a live jazz ensemble playing outside on the balcony, but the blazing sun was brutal so we walked back to Frenchman Street to decide what to do next.
We stopped at the Spotted Cat Music Club, which held a small crowd watching a trio playing with guitar, violin, and sax. The bass player showed up and rounded out the band.
The guitarist referred to themselves as "The Backstreet Fuckboys" and that they didn't have a name. After a couple beers we called it and moved along when the band finished. The one really cute thing was the guitarist went over to a lady in the crowd and encouraged her to go play the piano. Something must have happened or been said before we got there, but she laughed and reluctantly went over and played for a while. As we were walking out the door, she finished, and everyone clapped. It was really kind of sweet. You could tell (even though she had a mask on) that this was thrilling for her.
As we were encouraged by Julie at d.b.a to go over to Zony Mash, we did just that.
They had a food truck, tacos and quesadillas. Some of the best we've ever had. We got there early to eat, and hang out. The heat had broken down again and there was a gentle breeze. I'm pretty sure the pebble stone courtyard and outdoor seating area is a devilish kiln during the day, and in the next 2 or 3 months it'll be brutal, but it was just stellar to be sitting out there having a couple beers waiting for the show.
Julie was right. Rebirth Brass Band was amazing and the craft brews were great.
They have a lot of sour beers, which were all so good. We got to chat with the sax player between the sets, and he said this is their residency, every Tuesday, right here. I thought it was slightly under attended for how good they are and he laughed. It's a lot more crowded when college is in session in New Orleans. "Tulane kids are always here."
The people in front of us were having a blast dancing, even though they both kind of sucked at it. So they were delightful to watch. I kind of laughed at the guy a bit. And they were together but didn't dance together, which I thought was so weird.
They had a pinball machine area, which was free... and Doug had a lot of fun in there.
Wednesday
Still in search of coffee, we ended up wandering down a couple of alleys where we thought we remembered coffee shops, but they were gone.
We got caught in a downpour and stood under a balcony outside someone's condo or house in one of the alleys, and waited it out looking at the blue sky and clouds in the distance, and the pouring rain on top of us.
A guy came out of the shop across the street, he was obviously working on it (and working hard) and asked us where we were visiting from.
Everyone always asks "where you folks visiting from?"
We told him and he was super friendly so we got to talking a bunch.
He is ... putting in a coffee shop. Not open yet. but. Now we know.
Jean Laffite Trading Company will have this physical location on Exchange and should be open by September. And this is duly noted because fuck waiting in a line to get some burned ass espresso mess when I just want 20 ounces of iced. I feel like this guy will deliver.
"The beatings will continue until I get my coffee" is what he said he's going to have painted on the wall inside. Nice.
After the rain stopped, it was lunchtime so we stopped in at Napoleon House. We'd been there before, famous, blah blah blah, etc.
We had a really unfriendly waiter, and a weird experience with an unripe avocado. Not worth even thinking about but I was kind of disappointed in the experience overall when I could have had lunch other places.
We ended up at the St. Louis Cathedral, went inside to look around. They have mass at 12:05, so it had just ended and we sat in the pews just soaking in the large air and coolness. I lit my usual 4 candles for people I know who are catholic and very religious, and spent time praying for everyone who is not.
Leaving the cathedral, we went and sat in Jackson Square and played Pokemon and people watched.
The dude on the bench next to us lit up a huge fat joint and passed it around to his two friends and we were down wind of it.
I'm sure pot used to smell better, once upon a time. But lately every time I'm near it, it just smells like burning grass that has been hit by piss and skunk spray. What happened to you, pot?
Because this is now June 1st, and it is our wedding anniversary (31 years, yo!) we had plans for dinner that night at a very nice place. We started walking down Decatur again, and I had wanted to walk up to the river and along there but again, no shade and brutal sun and blah blah blah.
There were also some pro-Trump noodleheads up on the top of the steps trying to unfurl a giant rainbow banner that said "Trump Pride" on it to mock Pride Month, and they had flags and Let's Go Brandon stuff and I was just not feeling it. I could hear them yelling and chanting at the tops of their lungs.
No one paid any attention to them. And they were recording themselves with their phones, hoping someone would either join in or start to challenge them. It was kind of amusing that neither thing happened.
Unfortunately they didn't have a shucker handy so no oysters. Oh well. God's way of saying don't spoil dinner. We each had a couple beers and enjoyed the ambiance of the space and the artwork. The sign here is a lie. There was no such thing.
We napped after getting back to the hotel, and then got up and ready for the anniversary dinner.
Doug had made reservations at the Pelican Club, which is both fancy and casual at the same time. We were dressed up nice, but there were dudes in there in jorts and cabana wear shirts. It looks like the kind of place that has a required dress code, like Antoine's for Jazz Brunch, but aside from cut off shorts or sleeveless t-shirts on the gentlemen, it seems like your money is welcome here if you wanna eat!
This is the kind of "special occasion spot" that a lot of people plan their big moments for. We were ushered to our seats and the waiter took up my napkin and laid it on my lap... "for the lady," he said. Old school and kind of fun.
Compared to the horrid waiter and lame experience at Napoleon House earlier, this was amazing. They don't mess around either. Literally no waiting for anything. Beer? Boom. Here you go. Cocktail? here it is. Appetizer? Violia! We were kind of done in less than 75 minutes, and the dining room was now full.
The only disappointing thing was I had creme brulee for dessert, and I thought they'd come burn it at your table in front of you like a big show. That'd be amazing. But. It was perfect and delicious and chilled, so it made sense. Cracking into that crust though, that's a joy I haven't had for a long time.
Back to the hotel. Change out of our nice clothes into more casual stuff, and off to the Courtyard Brewery. This was our last night in town, and we had a list of breweries we wanted to get to, but. Not enough time.
We had a blast at the Courtyard. A little out of the way but it is a delightful little brewery with a great experimental menu.
I had maybe one too many beers, to be honest. I'd been doing really good with not having a lot of beers on this trip but lo and behold waking up the following morning with a hangover and the lowest blood sugar of the trip, maybe avoiding the beers is what's killing me.
Ha. I kid.
Thursday
Time to go. We slept a little late, we dragged our asses around, we packed. Got organized. Our flight wasn't until 4:40pm but there we are, with bags and shit. Let's concierge them.
Walking around, we saw these signs plastered all over store fronts, on June 2nd. For a wedding on June 4th. Like they're already married (oh hey, that's today! Congrats you guys!) We never saw them, but wish them well.
Doug had seen a lamp he liked in this little shop next to the hotel, so we went in. The guy running the place is from Maryland, via Turkey. He whipped out his driver's license to prove it, like we would not believe him.
He made us Turkish Coffee, and we felt obligated to enjoy it since he offered. After a while we were starting to get a little antsy because there was shit we wanted to do. Places to go! People to see! Finally we paid for the lamp and set up the shipping, and Turkish Coffee is some strong stuff.
We walked around some more, had lunch at Pere Antoine's (we had breakfast there one day, I forget which one. One of the "I don't have any coffee please get me coffee or I will kill someone without coffee" days). Lunch was really nice and it was cool to sit and people watch the corner.
We headed over to the Sazerac House to see about a tour, but I wasn't feeling like I wanted to go through three floors of history and the smell of the whisky and everything in the air was not making me feel great. I told Doug to go explore so he did. He ended up getting in trouble for going upstairs because he didn't have a wristband on for the .... free tour. So they escorted him downstairs like he was some sort of criminal. Some underaged little shit trying to get into a bar. For a place with a .... FREE TOUR.
Oy. We left.
Our hotel had arranged for a taxi for 2:30pm so we started walking back that direction. We went to Jimani Bar around the block from the hotel. This was much more the vibe that the other bar that we used to love had, except the interior isn't quite as cool and there's sportsball on the TVs. Perhaps we should have come here to see the Rangers game, but, we wouldn't have hit the big bucks on the penny slots. I was feeling dehydrated and hungover, Doug was happy to drink more beers. But overall I was feeling bloated from lunch (as much as I like jambalaya, it was a bad choice with too much rice!) I was ready for either a nap or the flight home. Seeing as the first wasn't an option, the second would come soon. Our cab driver called me at 2:15 asking where we were. I was like dude, not until 2:30. "I'm here now though," he says.
Ugh. good thing we're a minute away. We didn't want to lose him, Taxis are fixed price to the airport whereas an Uber can be a lot more. So we paid up, scuttled back to the hotel, got the bags, tipped the doorman and concierge, and got rolling.
Flight home was easy. Geoff picked us up at the airport but screwed up where we were so he was driving all over the place looking for us. We were exceptionally patient with him, because honestly, there's no better way to learn your way around somewhere than when someone is being patient with you.
There had just been a line of tremendously dangerous thunderstorms that went through, so timing wise for him and for us I was incredibly happy we missed it all.
He finally found us, we got home, and crashed. And that's the trip to New Orleans.
I have other pictures, like we met some cats on our walks, and there was all kinds of street art, and so much beer. I took a ton of pictures for my Untappd account, so they're all up there. I'll do a beer blog even though I'm not supposed to be drinking beer. You know how it goes, though.
All told, I enjoyed myself greatly. Should have had the surf & turf po'boy instead of the jambalaya for my last meal in town but I can't change that. Missed out on Dat Dog which I love, and I'm happy to be home.
We walked a lot. I had found my fitbit and recharged it and started wearing it again. My goals around here are 5k a day and I'm maybe hitting 3k if I don't go to one of the Pokemon Go supply spinners in the neighborhood. We pretty much did 5-7 miles the first 4 days and on Wednesday I asked that we just not walk as much, and I almost hit 10k by not walking as much. My feet were kind of swollen from the heat, and I was just sore. And it was our anniversary, so Princess Chrissie needed a break.
Regretfully we didn't go and sit by the river enough. We only did that one morning (Sunday) with our coffee. And I wish we'd done that. But it was so hot. So very hot.
Enough about the heat. Here's the fun stuff we did.
If you made it all the way here, congratulations. Here's a balloon animal. You earned it.
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